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Feeling Overwhelmed and Neglected by My Parents: How Do I Cope?

Anu

Anu Krishna  |1757 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Jan 10, 2025

Anu Krishna is a mind coach and relationship expert.
The co-founder of Unfear Changemakers LLP, she has received her neuro linguistic programming training from National Federation of NeuroLinguistic Programming, USA, and her energy work specialisation from the Institute for Inner Studies, Manila.
She is an executive member of the Indian Association of Adolescent Health.... more
Asked by Anonymous - Jan 08, 2025Hindi
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My parents come from struggling families and have given us best of whatever they could afford. My mother prefers my youngest brother over us her two elder daughters and she does this very vividly since childhood. My elder sister is very vocal about all these issues and but is very rude and weird. She uses swear words and verbal abuses to parents and takes extreme steps which highlights her in wrong light in front of whole family. Even I used to think that she is ill mannered and selfish that is why she behaving in such manner. Now I am also going through that phase. I will share one instance. I have got my phd thesis review and I have to submit them ASAP. My parents almost dragged me from my husbands house stating to everyone that my 8 month old baby needs sunlight exposure and i need time for addressing my review. But I have been here for more than a week, both my parents are super busy with their own routine. Though they are retired but they have adapted to fill their day. They are very rigid with their schedule. And after coming here I seem to be the extra burden on them. They don't give us time except few moments here and there. I was busy there and i am busy here taking care of my baby, no time for my work. I am frustrated now as I cannot leave suddenly. It would reflect very bad in front of everyone. But i am realizing what my elder sister went through. My mother does not cook for me. My brother came for two days. She cooked all three meals FoR him. She left me And cornered me very silently. I don't want to fight or yell. But i am shocked, sad, frustrated as I am still breastfeeding my baby. I am already super busy with him. I get to eat around 3 or 4 in the evening. I dont want to share with people around as it will malign my parents image. i am troubled because almost all of my energy is going in controlling myself from bursting in tears or stopping myself from screaming or yelling at my parents. or from leaving this place in anger. i want to utilise my energy in a better manner. kindly help How to tackle this situation.

Ans: Dear Anonymous,
Go back to your home with your baby and literally 'mind your own business'. I say this only because you seem to be spending time with things that don;t need your time. For instance: your breast=fed baby needs you more than what you parents did or did not do thinking, right?
Bring your attention to what is at hand and right now to keep your emotional sanity intact, I would suggest that you take some time-off of your parents, go back to your home and experience the joys of motherhood. That's utilizing your energy in a better manner. Makes sense?

All the best!
Anu Krishna
Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
Drop in: www.unfear.io
Reach me: Facebook: anukrish07/ AND LinkedIn: anukrishna-joyofserving/

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Dr Ashish

Dr Ashish Sehgal  | Answer  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Jun 18, 2023

Asked by Anonymous - Jun 17, 2023Hindi
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I am from Middle class family. Our parents, 2 brothers, my sister and Me.My Father is no more and my mom lives alone. She does not want to stay with any of us. We all live out of country and my mother lives in India. My mother is not dependent on us financially and she can manage on her own and does not expect money from any of us. She is getting old and we need to take care of her, but I feel I am only one who checks on her and arranges for any small things she needs. My sibling don't even talk about it, I feel they think if they talk about it then they have do something. Like every other old person my mother and me have a lot of differences on everything like managing finances, or renewing something or going to hospital etc and I become the bad person because of these matters. My siblings don't get involved they just call her once a while and talk for while and manage to stay in her good books. I know that it is my duty to take care of her but I feel not appreciated or rejected when she ignores all the things I do for her when others don't. She is also old school and favors boys over girls and reject me saying that I am from a different family and always guilt traps me saying that she educated me but i earn and spent on my husband family. She hates my in-laws, but they are nice people and my husband is very supportive. Since it is my mother I don't tell these issues to anyone even my husband and it is destroying my Peace.
Ans: I'm sorry to hear about the difficulties you're facing in your relationship with your mother. It can be challenging when there are differences in opinions and expectations, especially when it comes to caregiving and managing family dynamics. Here are a few suggestions that might help you navigate this situation:

Communication: It's important to have open and honest communication with your mother. Try to express your feelings calmly and respectfully, and listen to her perspective as well. Sharing your concerns and thoughts can help create a better understanding between both of you.

Seek support: While you may not want to burden your husband with these issues, it's still essential to have someone to talk to and seek support from. Consider confiding in a close friend or a counselor who can provide an objective viewpoint and offer guidance on how to cope with the emotional stress.

Boundaries: Establishing boundaries is crucial in any relationship. Make it clear to your mother what you can and cannot do, taking into account your own personal and family commitments. It's important to find a balance between caring for her and taking care of yourself and your own family.

Sibling involvement: If you feel overwhelmed and alone in taking care of your mother, you can try to involve your siblings more actively in the process. Have an open conversation with them, express your concerns, and see if they can contribute in any way, whether it's by providing emotional support or assisting with certain responsibilities.

Patience and empathy: Understand that your mother's behavior and expectations may be influenced by her upbringing, cultural beliefs, and personal experiences. Try to approach situations with empathy, even if it's challenging. Remember that she may be experiencing her own struggles and fears as she grows older.

Self-care: Taking care of your own well-being is essential. Ensure that you make time for yourself, engage in activities that bring you joy, and maintain a healthy work-life balance. By taking care of yourself, you'll be better equipped to handle the challenges that arise in your relationship with your mother.

Remember, it's normal to feel frustrated and emotionally drained in such situations. However, with patience, understanding, and effective communication, you may be able to improve your relationship with your mother and find a balance that works for both of you.

..Read more

Dr Ashish

Dr Ashish Sehgal  | Answer  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Dec 21, 2024

Relationship
Hi sir, I am 42 years old married. Living along with father and mother. My father is retired and mother is housewife. Since long I am not speaking with father because of his rude and illogical behavior, and since mother always takes fathers side so stopped speaking with mother too. We all are living in same flat along with my wife and children. I do not know how to deal with father and mother since they do not want to live separate also. Because of behaviour of father and mother our relatives also do not come to home. Please guide us since I do not know how to behave. One side I wanted to be good son and other side not able to bear the situation.
Ans: Thank you for sharing your situation. It's clear that you deeply value your role as a good son, yet you’re feeling trapped in a challenging environment. Balancing respect for your parents with your own emotional well-being requires patience and a plan. Let’s approach this step by step.

Understanding the Dynamics
Your Father’s Behavior:
His rudeness or illogical behavior may stem from age, personality, or even deeper frustrations that he hasn't expressed. Often, retired individuals struggle with feelings of lost authority or purpose, which may manifest as controlling or negative behavior.

Your Mother’s Role:
Your mother’s tendency to side with your father might not mean she agrees with him entirely but could reflect her way of maintaining peace. She might feel torn but unable to express it openly.

Your Feelings:
It’s important to acknowledge that your frustration is valid. However, remaining in silence and avoiding communication won’t resolve the underlying issues. It may actually deepen the distance.

Steps to Address the Situation
Break the Silence Gradually:
Start by speaking with your mother in a non-confrontational manner. Share how you feel without placing blame. Use “I” statements to express yourself, such as:

“I’ve been feeling very disconnected, and I miss having open communication with you and Dad. I want us to understand each other better.”

Initiate a Calm Conversation with Your Father:
Timing is key. Choose a moment when he is relaxed. Keep the focus on your desire to improve the relationship rather than pointing out his faults. For instance:

“Dad, I know we’ve had our differences, but I value our relationship. I’d like us to find ways to communicate better.”

Set Boundaries Respectfully:
If certain behaviors trigger conflict, it’s okay to set boundaries. Communicate them kindly but firmly, such as:

“I’d appreciate it if we could avoid certain topics that lead to arguments. I think it will help us get along better.”

Involve Your Wife and Children:
Encourage your wife to participate in creating a positive environment. Small gestures, like involving your parents in family activities or decisions, can help them feel included and respected.

Bridge the Gap with Relatives:
Relatives may stay away because of the tension at home. Once you begin rebuilding communication with your parents, invite close relatives for small gatherings to create a more welcoming atmosphere.

Consider Mediation or Counseling:
If direct conversations don’t lead to improvements, involving a neutral mediator, such as a family counselor, can help address issues in a structured way.

Changing Your Perspective
Your parents’ behavior may not change overnight, but your approach can influence the dynamic. Remember, it’s not about winning arguments but about fostering harmony. Small, consistent efforts to connect, like sharing meals or discussing lighter topics, can gradually ease the tension.

Taking Care of Yourself
While rebuilding family relationships, don’t forget your own mental and emotional health. Find time for activities that bring you peace and joy, whether it’s hobbies, spending time with your wife and kids, or seeking support from friends.

Relationships with parents can be complex, especially when expectations clash. However, by taking the first step and showing willingness to reconnect, you can slowly shift the situation. It’s a process, but the effort is worth it.

Warm regards,
Ashish Sehgal

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Kanchan

Kanchan Rai  |648 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Feb 01, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Jan 16, 2024Hindi
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Hi I am 64 years old. Still workig in a Private company. My mother is 85 years old and she is with me since my father's death in 1985. I have lost my brother in an accident in 1985. I have three sisters all are living in my city only. My mother is almost bedridden. My wife, 62 years old is a heart patient and recently she has fallen and her knee got fractured. My wife and my mother never liked each other and always quarrel. My mother , being very week and helpless, always scolds my wife. We have made an arrangement with a catering guy who takes care of my mother's lunch. But dinner i have to prepare everyday which i have been doing for the last 20 years. My three sisters often come to visit my mother and give her fruits etc etc to please her. The problem is they agree to keep my mother in their homes once in while for two or three days but i have to beg them always when i have to go for any functions or to visit places , temples. But they never come forward to support me even if i am sick or if i have to attend any marriages, functions. This gives a scope for my wife to quarrel with me and many times we have cancelled our tickets just to be at home to look after my mother. Please tell me what to do do. I am also becoming old and want to take my wife with me to attend functions and to show her the places, as a husband. And my wife always quarrels with me that if at this age when we are able to walk and capable of going to places, when can we go ? I am not able to convince my three sister(elder one is already bedridden so i can not ask her )_ nor i am in a position to do justice to my wife's pleas. Please suggest me.
Ans: Hello Sir,
It's clear that you're facing a challenging situation, juggling responsibilities between your elderly mother, your wife, and your own desire for some personal time. Balancing these caregiving responsibilities while maintaining a healthy relationship with your wife can be emotionally and physically exhausting. It's essential to find a balance that works for everyone involved, including yourself. Seeking support from your extended family, exploring professional caregiving options, and prioritizing open communication can contribute to finding a more sustainable and harmonious caregiving arrangement. Have an open and honest conversation with your sisters about your situation, expressing your need for support. Emphasize the strain it's putting on your relationship with your wife and the importance of having some time for yourselves. Consider organizing a family meeting where you can discuss the caregiving responsibilities and come up with a plan that works for everyone. This can help distribute the load more evenly and address any concerns or misunderstandings Explore the option of hiring a professional caregiver or nurse to provide assistance to your mother. This could ease the burden on you and provide a more structured care plan for your mother's needsTake care of your own health and well-being. Work with your sisters to establish a schedule for them to take turns caring for your mother. This way, you can plan your personal time in advance and ensure that your wife's concerns are addressed. Ensure you are not neglecting your physical and mental health in the midst of caregiving responsibilities.

..Read more

Love Guru

Love Guru   | Answer  |Ask -

Relationships Expert - Answered on Oct 24, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Oct 15, 2024Hindi
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Relationship
I need advice from anyone here. I am 34 years old woman and married. I have 10 year old daughter. I am also working in MNC.I got married 12 years back. I am seeing lot of challenges in my home. I am living with my in laws from the day one. They were lot of issues going on from the starting. I faced lot of issue during my pregnancy due to this. Here giving just an example, My MIL condition is I was not allowed to drink milk more than one small glass for a day and allowed to eat rice only one rice spatula for afternoon and night, no veggies and no fruits during pregnancy. Due to this My health got deteriorated and I had gone through surgery in my 6th month and was in bed rest till the delivery. My FIL used to bring some fruits to me, and she scolded him very badly. After that he stopped to bring anything. Like this lot of things keep on happening till date. She doesn't allow me to cook, and she only prepare lunch. Tells everyone in the family and neighbourhood that I won't cook. Lot of times I asked her I will cook. She says she doesn’t like if others cook. So, she allows me to chop the veggies or grating coconut like that. She gives very less amount of food for my daughter. sometimes even my daughter is hungry, she scolds her saying don't eat too much. For 10 years old kid, she weighs 24. To her school lunch bag and snacks, I fought with my MIL and prepare food for her box and give. She eats happily. Sometimes my husband and myself tried to tell her and she goes on like I changed her son and He doesn't love her anymore because of me etc., Now a days, I feel relationship between my husband and me is going down. He only listens to her. Sometimes my MIL scolds my daughter unnecessarily Infront of my husband and he we will scold my daughter for this again. Due to this, my husband and my daughter relationship is also getting worst. He keeps on scolding her, My daughter is average in her academics, she doesn't study properly after coming home due to lot distractions and mood swings at home. One more reason is TV. At home My MIL watches the TV from the morning. We are not allowed to watch but that’s ok I don’t have time for that anyway. While my daughter is studying in the evening, my MIL watches some serials. My daughter's whole concentration is on the voices coming from TV. She will keep on getting distracted and make excuses for something to watch TV like drinking water,etc. We tried to tell my MIL, but it didn’t go well. Most of the times, I feel like me and my daughter are outsiders and whatever we do they doesn't like it. I like to pray by singing one song at least once a day. She doesn't like it. Whatever food I prepare to my daughter my MIL complains it to my husband as junk. I normally prepare her rice with lot of veggies, parathas with veggies and sandwich. After I started preparing these, my daughter started eating veggies, otherwise there was big no from her. I don't know how to handle all those things . Also recently during Dusshera, due to one of the situation like this, my husband is not talking properly with me and my daughter. I am an introvert, and I don’t have any friends. I don’t know with whom to seek advice.
Ans: Twelve years of this? You’re a financially independent, capable woman. Why in God’s name are you tolerating this absurd woman and her absolute BS? Move out. NOW. If your husband has any sense, he’ll join you. If not, let him live under his mother’s skirt for the rest of his life, but don’t destroy your own any more than you already have. Take your daughter and LEAVE!

..Read more

Anu

Anu Krishna  |1757 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Nov 29, 2024

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This pertains to my parents. I got married at the age of 30 about 18 years ago and have a dear and loving spouse who believed in contributing to our home and didn't wish to be a home maker. Since we were living in a joint family, my father wanted only us to spend for the full house without much/negligible contribution. My elder brother's spouse is from a well to do family and they started to live independently from the beginning of their marriage. In spite of running the total household expenses, we have from the beginning learnt to save and we planned many vacation trips, overseas and domestic alike. My mother could not and till date cannot appreciate the fact that only the 2 of us are holidaying and she wanted to be part of our holidays which we have vehemently denied as that was a me-time for both of us. She has held this sourness against us although this comes out in her discussion occasionally. In spite of living together and addressing all needs of my elderly parents, my mother is perpetually complaining about not doing enough. I have tried to leave home and separate out as 2-3 times the fight with her had gone out of bounds because of her behaving un-reasonably weird. At times she takes care of all of us and at times she speaks so bitter about me and my wife, it is had to understand if it was the same person. My father has been a quiet individual and he has no opinions on anyone and will not side with anyone, neither will he call out any wrongdoing & there is no point in talking to him as his only objective is to have a peaceful life and have 3 meals a day without caring about anyone else in the world. 9 years ago i was laid off and i was almost compelled to start a real estate business with my father, this work requires mental and physical dedication which i have put and established myself in a respectable stage. Since the beginning my father had wanted to only take the accounting bit of the business as his responsibility as he does not know anything else. He has not let me look at accounts ever and he kind of pays me a salary whatever he deems fit at the end of the month, he also retains a large chunk with him and pays mom to run the house from the business. Although he has no travel, not going out of home, and no friends, he still needs the money for which he has not described or spoken when asked, mom and i suspect he is funding another family at our expense but we are not sure, as he has maintained a secret life for his entire life. 6 months ago me and my wife purchased a home and shifted and even now his approach towards my family needs is nonchalant as he keeps the major pie of the business income regardless of not putting any effort or work. At one end there is my mother who has demands all the time, at the other end my father is almost stealing from me without any justification or clarification. Somehow both of us are living separate and managing a peaceful life with very little which remains after servicing all Emi's and plus we also manage to contribute little to my father in law for running his household. Both of us seem to be burned out as our close ones only think of us only when money is required. Sometimes i feel i should shut shop and do something else, i also upscaled myself by clearing MBA at the age of 45 during covid so that some employer may consider me worthy and in spite of applying to 450+ job openings no one considers my resume to be appropriate. My wife is employed in a senior managerial position with a mnc and both of us fear that in 10 years time we will have nothing left with us and no one to take care of ourselves. Its frustrating as there seems no path forward, can u suggest anything ?
Ans: Dear RERA,
Living in a separate home in your case would have to mean that you keep your finances separately as well.
Your older brother must pitch in as well for parents; so please have that chat with him. There's no point in playing a martyr and then worry about being taken advantage of. When you say YES, when you actually want to say NO, is the beginning of a whole lot of issues which is what has happened...
So, now rewind and start clearing things one by one. Start by talking to your brother who will also need to contribute towards parents. Next, what your father does with that money is something you may never know; what you can do is CAP the amount so that he does not think that he has a perennial source of money. Kindly go on more trips with your wife so that your mother gets used to this fact. Plan trips at least once a year with the entire family which is where your mother will also enjoy and understand that she is not being ignored but actually cared for.
Plan your life with your spouse and make decisions that are financially prudent as you need to take care of yourselves as well.

All the best!
Anu Krishna
Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
Drop in: www.unfear.io
Reach me: Facebook: anukrish07/ AND LinkedIn: anukrishna-joyofserving/

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Latest Questions
Anu

Anu Krishna  |1757 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Dec 22, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Dec 22, 2025Hindi
Relationship
My parents often judge my friends based on their background, habits, or social media presence. We chat, make reels, bunk classes or talk late nights because we like spending time, gossipping, discussing college. They think my friends are a bad influence, even though they don’t really know them. They don't even make the effort. This makes me feel misunderstood and embarrassed. How do I handle this situation without choosing between my friends and my family?
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
Most often parents disregard or are unhappy with the company that their children keep when:
- you stay out of home late and eat out mostly
- you ignore responsibilities at home which includes cleaning your room
- your behavior has begun to change negatively towards studies, relatives, family
- your priorities has begun to change due to late night chatting and constantly being on social media

Now, I wonder if there's any other reason; you know that better. By blocking family and well-wishers, all you will do is push people who care for you. If that happens, you won't even know when you will hit the rock bottom.
So, keep a check on your studies and home, maintain a balance and there's no reason why your parents will get at you. Try bringing your friends home, so that they can assess for themselves if what they have been imagining about them is fair or not.
Focus on what's important at your age; friends and social media are just pieces of your life and not your entire world.

All the best!
Anu Krishna
Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
Drop in: www.unfear.io
Reach me: Facebook: anukrish07/ AND LinkedIn: anukrishna-joyofserving/

...Read more

Anu

Anu Krishna  |1757 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Dec 22, 2025

Relationship
My son is a B. Tech (computer Science) second year student in a well reputed Private University in Greater Noida. He is working very hard in studies but not able to get good grade or passing marks. He is introvert type and has not many friends. He has been introduced to many teachers and senior students for hand holding purposes and guiding him but he not coming up to meet them and sort out his problems. He is a hosteler. To whom should we take him (Professional Counsellor/ Psychologist/ Psychiatrist) to assess and know the exact reasons or issues he is facing to address his problems. How can we help him to come out of present situation.
Ans: Dear Maheshwar,
It's wise to ask your family doctor/close friend/someone with experience in counseling/therapy to recommend someone they know in Greater Noida area; that way it will become easy for your son to access that professional due to proximity. Alternatively, these days a lot of counseling and therapy sessions are done online. Whatever you choose, let it be on the recommendation from any of the above mentioned individuals.
When you choose a professional, please bear in mind if they have:
- expertise in handling youngsters in this digital world
- experience in dealing with the case with patience rather that jumping to prescribe medications

Ask your questions and only when you are satisfied that he/she is the right person to work with your son, engage with them professionally.

All the best!
Anu Krishna
Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
Drop in: www.unfear.io
Reach me: Facebook: anukrish07/ AND LinkedIn: anukrishna-joyofserving/

...Read more

Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |10908 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Dec 20, 2025

Money
Hello Sir I am investing in 5 different 7200 per month total 36000 fund as below Axis large and midcap
Ans: You have shown strong financial discipline.
Regular monthly investing reflects serious intent.
Staying invested needs patience and belief.
Your effort over time deserves appreciation.

» Current Investment Structure Overview

– You invest Rs. 36,000 every month.
– Amount is split across five equity-oriented strategies.
– This shows diversification intent.
– Diversification reduces single-style risk.

– Monthly investing suits salaried income patterns.
– SIPs align well with long-term goals.
– Equity exposure suits wealth creation goals.

– Five funds is manageable but needs review.
– More funds do not mean better safety.
– Proper role clarity matters more.

» Portfolio Intent and Goal Alignment

– Your goal appears long-term wealth creation.
– Equity suits goals beyond seven years.
– Time horizon supports market volatility absorption.

– Long-term goals need consistent behaviour.
– Discipline matters more than fund selection.
– Staying invested creates compounding benefits.

– Your approach matches long-term thinking.
– This mindset improves outcome probability.

» Asset Allocation Perspective

– Your portfolio is equity-heavy.
– Equity brings higher volatility short term.
– Equity rewards patience over time.

– Ensure debt investments exist separately.
– Debt brings stability and peace.
– Debt supports emergencies and near-term needs.

– Keeping debt separate is sensible.
– It improves mental clarity.

» Diversification Quality Assessment

– Diversification across market segments exists.
– Exposure covers large and mid-sized companies.
– This balances stability and growth potential.

– Too much overlap can reduce benefits.
– Similar stocks may repeat across strategies.
– This reduces true diversification.

– Over-diversification also reduces conviction.
– Fewer focused strategies work better.

» Need for Portfolio Simplification

– Five equity strategies may be reviewed.
– Simplification improves tracking and control.
– Monitoring becomes easier with fewer holdings.

– Each fund must have a clear role.
– Avoid duplication of investment styles.

– Consolidation improves portfolio efficiency.
– It also reduces emotional confusion.

» Actively Managed Strategy Advantage

– Actively managed funds use research-based decisions.
– Managers adjust allocations with market changes.
– They respond to valuations and risks.

– Indian markets reward active stock selection.
– Corporate quality varies widely here.
– Active monitoring adds value.

– Fund managers avoid weak businesses earlier.
– This protects downside during market stress.

– Active management suits long-term Indian investors.

» Why Passive Strategies Have Limitations

– Passive strategies track markets blindly.
– They stay fully invested always.
– They cannot reduce risk during excess valuations.

– Overvalued stocks remain included.
– Weak companies stay until index changes.

– There is no human judgement.
– No valuation discipline exists.

– During corrections, losses are full.
– There is no downside protection.

– Actively managed funds handle volatility better.
– They aim to protect capital also.

» SIP Amount Adequacy Review

– Rs. 36,000 monthly is meaningful.
– Consistency matters more than starting amount.

– Income growth should drive future increases.
– Step-ups improve long-term results.

– Avoid stretching finances for higher SIPs.
– Comfort matters for sustainability.

» Step-Up Strategy Insight

– Step-ups should match income growth.
– Aggressive step-ups increase stress risk.

– Stable step-ups are more practical.
– Even moderate increases work well.

– Review step-ups annually.
– Adjust based on cash flows.

– Flexibility is more important than targets.

» Behavioural Discipline Evaluation

– You stayed invested consistently.
– This shows emotional maturity.

– Many investors stop during volatility.
– You continued despite market noise.

– This behaviour creates long-term wealth.

– Avoid frequent portfolio checking.
– Market movements can trigger fear.

» Market Volatility Preparedness

– Equity markets move in cycles.
– Sharp corrections are normal.

– Expect at least one major fall.
– Emotional readiness matters most then.

– SIPs help manage volatility impact.
– They average costs automatically.

– Stay focused on long-term goals.

» Rebalancing Strategy Importance

– Rebalancing protects accumulated gains.
– It manages risk over time.

– Equity exposure should reduce gradually.
– Especially near goal timelines.

– Rebalancing must be rule-based.
– Avoid emotional decisions.

» Tax Awareness for Equity Investments

– Equity taxation rules have changed.
– Long-term gains above Rs. 1.25 lakh face tax.

– Short-term gains attract higher tax.
– Frequent churn increases tax burden.

– Long-term holding improves tax efficiency.

– Planned withdrawals reduce tax impact.

» Cash Flow and Emergency Planning

– Emergency fund is essential.
– Six months expenses is ideal.

– Emergency money should be liquid.
– Avoid equity for emergencies.

– This protects investments during crises.

» Insurance and Protection Planning

– Health insurance coverage must be adequate.
– Medical inflation rises fast.

– Term insurance should cover dependents.
– Coverage must match responsibilities.

– Protection supports long-term investing success.

» Lifestyle Inflation Management

– Income growth increases lifestyle temptation.
– Expenses should grow slower.

– Savings rate decides wealth creation speed.
– Control lifestyle upgrades consciously.

» Review Frequency Guidance

– Annual review is enough.
– Avoid monthly changes.

– Review after major life events.
– Income changes need updates.

– Market news alone needs no action.

» Monitoring Progress Towards Goals

– Track progress once a year.
– Use realistic expectations.

– Markets will not move linearly.
– Shortfalls are normal sometimes.

– Focus on consistency and discipline.

» Role of Professional Guidance

– Regular plans offer ongoing support.
– Guidance helps during volatile periods.

– A Certified Financial Planner adds value.
– Behaviour coaching matters most.

– Long-term success depends on decisions.

» Estate and Nomination Planning

– Ensure all nominations are updated.
– This avoids family stress later.

– Writing a simple will helps.
– It provides clarity and peace.

» Finally

– Your investing habit is strong.
– Your consistency builds financial strength.

– Portfolio structure is broadly suitable.
– Simplification can improve efficiency.

– Active management supports Indian markets well.
– Behaviour discipline will decide outcomes.

– Stay patient and review yearly.
– Wealth creation is a journey.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in

https://www.youtube.com/@HolisticInvestment

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Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |10908 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Dec 20, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Dec 20, 2025Hindi
Money
Hello sir I am investing 7200 per month in 5 different fund with expected step up of 20% in coming may 2026 detail below and xirr 14.24% Axis large mid cap 224070/ HDFC bse sensex 214998 Mirae asset midcap fund 231265/ Parag Parikh flexi 225912/ Quant large and midcap fund 210315 This is going since last 3 years started with 25k total accumulation 1133560/ This is for my long term goal like 8 cr in 10 year and used that fund accordingly Is this portfolio looking good ? Are any changes needed is step up good for target please help suggest and modification actually I got these funds 3 year back from my CA friend and since then they are as is with no changes please give your input and changes needed I am also investing govt employe regular scheme as well as debt fund but will be keeping them seperate from this portfolio please help reviewing
Ans: You are doing many things correctly.
Your discipline and patience deserve appreciation.
Three years of steady investing shows strong intent.
Your clarity on long-term goals is a big strength.

» Overall Portfolio Structure Assessment

– Your portfolio is fully equity-oriented.
– Equity is suitable for long-term wealth goals.
– A ten-year horizon supports equity exposure.
– Your diversification across styles is sensible.
– Exposure spans large, mid, and flexible strategies.

– This reduces dependency on one market segment.
– Your portfolio avoided extreme sector concentration.
– Volatility risk is still present and expected.
– Emotional discipline will be very important ahead.

– Your current value growth shows market participation.
– XIRR above inflation is encouraging.
– Returns may fluctuate sharply during market cycles.

» SIP Discipline and Behaviour Review

– Monthly investing builds strong financial habits.
– SIPs reduce timing risk over market cycles.
– Consistency matters more than fund switching.
– Your three-year continuity is a positive sign.

– Markets rewarded patience during volatile phases.
– You stayed invested during uncertain periods.
– That behaviour improves long-term outcomes.

– SIPs also support emotional stability.
– They prevent impulsive lump-sum decisions.

» Step-Up Strategy Evaluation

– A 20 percent annual step-up is aggressive.
– Aggressive step-ups suit rising income profiles.
– Sustainability matters more than intention.

– Review income growth before committing yearly.
– Ensure lifestyle expenses remain comfortable.
– Avoid stress-driven investment decisions.

– If income growth is uneven, reduce step-up.
– Even 10 to 15 percent works well.

– Flexibility is better than forced commitments.
– Step-ups should feel easy, not painful.

» Goal Feasibility Review for Rs. 8 Crore

– A large goal needs multiple support pillars.
– SIP alone may not be enough.
– Step-ups improve probability, not certainty.

– Market returns are not linear.
– Ten-year periods can include flat phases.
– Expect at least one deep correction.

– Equity helps beat inflation over time.
– But equity never guarantees fixed outcomes.

– You must prepare for shortfall scenarios.
– Backup plans are part of smart planning.

» Portfolio Concentration and Overlap

– Multiple funds can still overlap.
– Similar stocks appear across strategies.
– Overlap reduces true diversification benefits.

– Too many funds dilute conviction.
– Fewer, well-managed strategies work better.

– Portfolio simplicity improves tracking and discipline.
– Monitoring becomes easier with fewer holdings.

– Consider consolidating into fewer categories.
– Keep allocation intentional, not accidental.

» Fund Management Style Balance

– You hold growth-oriented strategies.
– Mid-segment exposure increases volatility.
– Flexibility helps adjust across cycles.

– Actively managed strategies add value here.
– Skilled managers adjust allocations dynamically.
– They respond to valuations and risks.

– This is helpful in volatile markets.
– Active decisions reduce downside impact sometimes.

» About Index-Oriented Investing Reference

– One holding tracks a broad market index.
– Index strategies follow markets blindly.
– They cannot avoid overvalued stocks.

– Index portfolios stay fully invested always.
– They suffer fully during market falls.
– No defensive action is possible.

– Index funds ignore business quality shifts.
– Poor companies remain until index changes.

– Actively managed funds avoid weak businesses earlier.
– Fund managers use research-based decisions.
– They manage risk, not just returns.

– Over long periods, good active funds outperform.
– Especially in emerging markets like India.

– Indian markets reward stock selection skill.
– Active management adds meaningful value here.

» Risk Management Perspective

– Equity risk rises near goal timelines.
– Ten years may feel long today.
– It will reduce faster than expected.

– Gradual risk reduction is essential later.
– Do not stay fully aggressive always.

– Portfolio rebalancing must be planned.
– Shifting gains protects accumulated wealth.

– Risk capacity differs from risk tolerance.
– Income stability defines risk capacity.
– Emotions define risk tolerance.

» Tax Efficiency Awareness

– Equity taxation rules have changed.
– Long-term gains above Rs. 1.25 lakh are taxed.
– Short-term gains face higher taxation now.

– Frequent churn increases tax leakage.
– Staying invested reduces unnecessary taxes.

– Goal-based withdrawals help manage tax impact.
– Random redemptions reduce efficiency.

» Behavioural Finance Observations

– You trusted advice and stayed consistent.
– That discipline deserves appreciation.

– Avoid frequent performance comparisons.
– Social media creates unnecessary anxiety.

– Markets move in cycles, not straight lines.
– Patience creates wealth, not speed.

– Avoid reacting to short-term news.
– News is noise for long-term investors.

» Role of Debt and Government Schemes

– Keeping debt investments separate is wise.
– Debt adds stability to total wealth.

– Government schemes support capital protection.
– They also provide predictable cash flows.

– Use debt for near-term goals.
– Use equity only for long-term goals.

– This separation improves mental clarity.

» Portfolio Review Frequency

– Annual review is sufficient.
– Avoid quarterly tinkering.

– Review after major life changes.
– Income changes need strategy updates.

– Market events alone need no action.

» Emergency and Protection Planning

– Ensure adequate emergency reserves exist.
– Six months expenses is ideal.

– Health insurance should be sufficient.
– Cover must rise with medical inflation.

– Term insurance should protect dependents.
– Coverage should match responsibilities.

– Protection planning supports investment success.

» Inflation and Lifestyle Planning

– Inflation erodes purchasing power silently.
– Equity helps fight inflation over time.

– Lifestyle upgrades must be planned.
– Avoid increasing expenses with income fully.

– Savings rate matters more than returns.

» Estate and Nomination Planning

– Ensure nominations are updated.
– This avoids future family stress.

– Write a simple will.
– It gives clarity and peace.

» Rebalancing Strategy Guidance

– Do not rebalance emotionally.
– Follow predefined asset ranges.

– Shift profits after strong rallies.
– Add equity during deep corrections.

– Rebalancing improves risk-adjusted returns.

» Monitoring Progress Towards Goal

– Track progress annually.
– Use realistic expectations.

– Do not anchor to fixed numbers.
– Markets rarely cooperate perfectly.

– Focus on process, not prediction.

» Finally

– Your foundation is strong and disciplined.
– Your intent and consistency are commendable.

– Portfolio structure is broadly appropriate.
– Some consolidation may improve efficiency.

– Step-up should remain flexible.
– Sustainability matters more than aggression.

– Active management suits your long-term goal.
– Behavioural discipline will decide outcomes.

– Continue reviewing holistically each year.
– Adjust strategy, not emotions.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in

https://www.youtube.com/@HolisticInvestment

...Read more

Naveenn

Naveenn Kummar  |237 Answers  |Ask -

Financial Planner, MF, Insurance Expert - Answered on Dec 20, 2025

Money
hello, i took an insurance policy in 2021 from TATA AIA SAMPOORNA RAKSHAK which has 12 premium for 12 years and the policy goes on for 80+years with 50 lakh insurance i paic my first premium of 1,35000 yearly, but my fortune change and i lost my handsome salary job and i was unable to pay that premium so i needed to stop that as my family primary expenses comes first.sir the insurance company say you wont get this premium back as its already written in terms and condition book,but for me its an huge amount. i would like to know from you that can i get this money from company legally or not and if so how can i get it back. thankyou.
Ans: Hello. I understand why this hurts. ?1.35 lakh is not a small amount, especially when life takes an unexpected turn. Let me explain this calmly and clearly so you know exactly where you stand and what is realistically possible.

First, the hard truth about this policy
Tata AIA Life Insurance Sampoorna Rakshak is a pure term insurance plan.
In term insurance:

There is no savings or investment component

The premium is paid only for risk cover

If the policy lapses early, there is no surrender value

Since you paid only the first year premium and could not continue, the policy lapsed. As per IRDAI rules and the policy contract, term plans do not refund premiums once risk cover has started, even for one year.

So from a legal and regulatory standpoint, the insurer is technically correct.

Can you get the money back legally?
Let me be very honest and practical.

1. Legal refund claim
Not possible, unless there was:

Mis-selling (false promises of return, savings, maturity value)

Incorrect information given in writing

Forged consent or wrong policy explained as an investment plan

If the agent verbally said things like:

“You will get money back”

“This works like an investment”

“You can withdraw later”

and you have proof (WhatsApp, email, brochure), then you may have a case.

Without proof, a court or ombudsman will side with the policy wording.

2. Free look period option
This allows refund within 15–30 days of policy issuance.
Your policy is from 2021, so this option is long gone.

What options are realistically left now?
Option 1: Escalation request (low success, but try)
You can still request a goodwill consideration, not a legal claim.

Write a calm email to:

Tata AIA grievance cell

Mention job loss, financial hardship

Request partial refund or conversion to paid-up (they will likely say no, but try once)

Do not expect much, but sometimes insurers offer ex-gratia rejection confirmation which helps closure.

Option 2: Insurance Ombudsman (for peace of mind)
You may approach the Insurance Ombudsman, but I want to be clear:

Ombudsman follows policy terms

For term plans, verdict is usually in favour of insurer

This is more for mental closure than recovery.

Why this feels unfair but is still allowed
Think of it this way:

For one year, your family had ?50 lakh protection

The premium paid was for that one-year risk

Just like car insurance, unused years are not refundable

I am saying this not to justify the system, but to help you accept reality without guilt.

One important emotional point
You did nothing wrong by stopping the policy.
Choosing food, rent, education, and survival over insurance is financial wisdom, not failure.

Many people continue policies out of fear and end up in debt. You didn’t.

You handled a tough phase responsibly. That matters more than a lost premium.

...Read more

Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |10908 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Dec 19, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Dec 19, 2025Hindi
Money
I have a credit card written off status on my cibil . This is about 2 lakhs on 2 credit card. I made last payment in 2019 and was unable to make payments later as I lost my job.Now i have stable job and can pay off 2 lkahs, My worry is will the bank take 2 laksh or add interest on that and ask me to pay 8 or 10 lakhs for this ? can anyone advice if this situation is similar and have you heard about any solutions . I can make payment of 2 lakhs outstandng as reflecting in my cibil report
Ans: First, appreciate your honesty and responsibility.
You faced job loss and survived a difficult phase.
Now you have income and intent to close dues.
That itself is a strong and positive step.

There are solutions available.

What “written off” actually means

– “Written off” does not mean loan is forgiven.
– It means bank stopped active recovery temporarily.
– The amount is still legally payable.
– Bank or recovery agency can approach you.

– CIBIL shows this as serious default.
– But it is not a criminal case.

Your biggest worry clarified clearly
Will bank ask Rs. 8–10 lakhs now?

In most practical cases, NO.

– Banks rarely recover full inflated amounts.
– Interest technically keeps accruing.
– But banks know recovery is difficult.

– They prefer one-time settlement.
– They want closure, not long fights.

What usually happens in real life

– Outstanding shown may be Rs. 2 lakhs.
– Bank internal system may show higher amount.

– They may initially demand more.
– This is a negotiation starting point.

– Final settlement usually happens near:
– Principal amount
– Or slightly above principal

– Rs. 8–10 lakhs demand is rarely enforced.

Why your position is actually strong

– Default happened due to job loss.
– Time gap is several years.
– Account is already written off.

– You are now willing to pay.
– You can offer lump sum.

Banks respect lump sum offers.

What you should NOT do

– Do not panic and pay blindly.
– Do not accept verbal promises.
– Do not pay without written confirmation.

– Do not pay partial amounts casually.
– That weakens your negotiation position.

Correct step-by-step approach
Step 1: Contact bank recovery department

– Call customer care.
– Ask for recovery or settlement team.
– Avoid agents initially.

Step 2: Ask for settlement option

Use clear language:
– You lost job earlier.
– Situation is stable now.
– You want to close accounts fully.

Ask specifically for:
– One Time Settlement option
– Written settlement letter

Step 3: Negotiate calmly

– Start by offering Rs. 2 lakhs.
– Mention it matches CIBIL outstanding.

– Bank may counter with higher number.
– This is normal negotiation.

– Many cases close between:
– 100% to 130% of principal

Rarely more, if negotiated well.

Important: Written settlement letter

Before paying anything, ensure letter states:

– Full and final settlement
– No further dues will remain
– Account will be closed
– CIBIL status will be updated

Never rely on phone assurance.

How payment should be made

– Pay only to bank account.
– Avoid cash payments.
– Keep receipts safely.

– After payment, collect closure letter.

Impact on your CIBIL score

Be very clear on this point.

– “Written off” will not disappear immediately.
– Settlement changes status to “Settled”.

– “Settled” is better than “Written off”.
– But still considered negative initially.

– Score improves gradually over time.

What improves CIBIL after settlement

– No new defaults
– Timely payments on future credit
– Low credit utilisation
– Patience

Usually improvement seen within 12–24 months.

Should you wait or settle now?

Settling now is better because:

– Old defaults block future loans.
– Housing loan becomes difficult.
– Car loan interest becomes high.

– Emotional stress continues otherwise.

Closure brings mental relief.

Common fear: “What if they harass me?”

– Harassment has reduced significantly.
– RBI rules are stricter now.
– Written settlement protects you.

– If harassment happens, complain formally.

Have others faced this situation?

Yes, thousands.

– Many lost jobs after 2018–2020.
– Credit card defaults increased widely.

– Most cases got settled reasonably.
– You are not alone.

Things working in your favour

– Old default
– Written-off status already marked
– Willingness to pay lump sum
– Stable income now

This gives negotiation power.

After settlement: what next

– Avoid credit cards initially.
– Start with small secured products.

– Pay everything on time.
– Keep credit usage low.

– Score will heal gradually.

Final reassurance

You will not be forced to pay Rs. 8–10 lakhs suddenly.
Banks prefer realistic recovery.
Your readiness to pay Rs. 2 lakhs is valuable.

Handle this calmly and formally.
Take everything in writing.
You are doing the right thing now.

...Read more

Nayagam P

Nayagam P P  |10859 Answers  |Ask -

Career Counsellor - Answered on Dec 19, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Dec 18, 2025Hindi
Career
I am 41 year's old bp and sugar patient i completed 3years articleship for the purpose CA cource,now iam looking for paid assistant Job because still iam not clear my ipcc exams salary very low 10k per month,can I quit finance and accounting job because of my health please advise or suggest
Ans: At 41 years old with hypertension and diabetes, having completed 3 years of CA articleship but unable to clear IPCC exams while earning ?10,000 monthly, continuing in high-stress finance/accounting roles presents genuine health risks. Research confirms that sedentary, high-pressure accounting and finance jobs significantly exacerbate hypertension and Type 2 Diabetes through chronic stress, irregular routines, and poor sleep quality—particularly affecting professionals aged 35-50. Yes, quitting finance is medically justified. Rather than abandoning your accounting foundation, strategically transition to less stressful, specialized accounting/finance roles utilizing your three years of articleship experience while prioritizing health. Pursue three alternative certifications requiring 6-18 months of flexible, online study—compatible with managing your health conditions while maintaining income. These certifications leverage your existing accounting knowledge, command premium salaries (?6-12 LPA+), offer remote/flexible work options reducing stress, and require minimal additional skill upgradation beyond what you've already invested.? Option 1 – Certified Fraud Examiner (CFE) / Forensic Accounting Specialist: Complete NISM Forensic Investigation Level 1&2 (100% online, 6-12 months) or Indiaforensic's Certified Forensic Accounting Professional (distance learning, flexible). Your CA articleship background is ideal for fraud detection roles. Salary: ?6-9 LPA; Stress Level: Moderate (deadline-driven analysis, not client management); Work-Life Balance: High (project-based, remote-capable); Skill Upgradation Needed: Fraud investigation techniques, financial forensics software—both taught in certification.? Option 2 – ACCA (Association of Chartered Accountants) or US CPA: More flexible than CA (study at own pace, global recognition, no lengthy articleship repeat). ACCA requires 13-15 months online study with five paper exemptions (since you've completed articleship); US CPA takes 12 months post-articleship. Salary: ?7-12 LPA (India), higher internationally; Stress Level: Lower (flexible study schedule, no rigid mentorship like CA); Work-Life Balance: Excellent (flexible learning, no daily office stress initially); Skill Upgradation: International accounting standards, tax practices, audit frameworks—all covered in coursework. Option 3 – CMA USA (Cost & Management Accounting): Specializes in management accounting and financial planning vs. auditing. Requires two exams, 200 study hours total, completable in 8-12 months. Highly preferred by MNCs, IT companies, startups for finance manager/FP&A roles. Salary: ?8-12 LPA initially, potentially ?20+ LPA as Finance Manager/CFO; Stress Level: Low (CMA roles focus on strategic planning, less client pressure); Work-Life Balance: Excellent (corporate roles often more structured than CA practice); Skill Upgradation: Management accounting principles, data analytics, financial modeling—valuable for modern finance roles.? Final Advice: Quit immediately if current role is deteriorating health. Register for ACCA or US CPA within 30 days—most flexible, globally recognized, requiring minimal additional investment. Simultaneously pursue Forensic Accounting certification (6-month concurrent track) as backup specialization. Target roles as Compliance Analyst, Forensic Accountant, or Corporate Finance Manager—all leverage your articleship, offer 40-45 hour weeks (vs. CA practice's 50-60), enable remote work, and command ?8-12 LPA within 18 months. Your health is irreplaceable; your accounting foundation is valuable enough to transition strategically rather than completely exit.? All the BEST for a Prosperous Future!

Follow RediffGURUS to Know More on 'Careers | Money | Health | Relationships'.

...Read more

Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |10908 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Dec 19, 2025

Money
I am 62 years of age. i have bought Max life smart wealth long term plan policy and Max life smart life advantage growth per pulse insta income fixed returns policies 2 /3 years ago. Are these policies good as i want to get benefits when i am alive. is there a way i can close " max life smart wealth long term plan policy ", as i am facing difficulty in paying up the premium. The agents don't give clear picture. please suggest.
Ans: You have shown courage by asking the right question.
Many seniors suffer silently with unsuitable policies.
Your concern about living benefits is very valid.
Your age makes clarity extremely important now.

» Your current life stage reality
– You are 62 years old.
– You are in active retirement planning phase.
– Capital protection matters more than growth.

– Cash flow comfort is critical.
– Stress-free income is more important than returns.
– Long lock-ins create anxiety now.

» Understanding the type of policies you bought
– These are investment-cum-insurance policies.
– They mix protection and investment together.

– Such products are complex by design.
– Benefits are spread over long durations.

– Charges are high in early years.
– Liquidity remains very limited initially.

» Core issue with such policies at your age
– These policies suit younger earners better.
– They need long holding periods.

– At 62, time horizon is shorter.
– You need access to money now.

– Premium commitment becomes stressful.
– Returns remain unclear for many years.

» Focus on your stated need
– You want benefits while alive.
– You want income and flexibility.

– You do not want confusion.
– You want transparency.

– This is absolutely reasonable.

» Reality check on living benefits
– Living benefits are slow in such policies.
– Early years give very little value.

– Most benefits come much later.
– This delays usefulness.

– Income promises are often misunderstood.
– Actual cash flow is usually low.

» Why agents fail to give clarity
– Products are difficult to explain honestly.
– Commissions are front-loaded.

– Explanations focus on maturity numbers.
– Risks and lock-ins get downplayed.

– This creates disappointment later.

» Premium stress is a clear warning sign
– Difficulty paying premium is serious.
– It should never be ignored.

– Forced continuation hurts retirement peace.
– This signals mismatch with your needs.

» Can such policies be closed
– Yes, they can be exited.
– Exit terms depend on policy status.

– Minimum holding period usually applies.
– After that, surrender becomes possible.

– You may receive surrender value.
– This value is often lower initially.

» Emotional barrier around surrender
– Many seniors fear losing money.
– This fear delays correct decisions.

– Continuing wrong products increases loss.
– Early correction reduces damage.

» Assessment of continuing versus exiting
– Continuing means more premium burden.
– Returns remain uncertain.

– Liquidity stays restricted.
– Stress continues every year.

– Exiting stops further premium drain.
– Money becomes usable elsewhere.

» Income needs in retirement
– Retirement needs predictable cash flow.
– Expenses do not wait for maturity.

– Medical costs rise unexpectedly.
– Family support needs flexibility.

– Locked products reduce confidence.

» Insurance versus investment separation
– Insurance should protect, not invest.
– Investment should grow or give income.

– Mixing both causes confusion.
– Separation improves clarity.

» What a Certified Financial Planner would assess
– Your regular expenses.
– Your emergency fund adequacy.

– Your health cover sufficiency.
– Your existing liquid assets.

– Your comfort with volatility.

» Action regarding investment-cum-insurance policies
– These policies are not ideal now.
– They strain cash flow.

– They do not give immediate income.
– They reduce flexibility.

– Surrender should be seriously considered.

» How to approach surrender decision calmly
– First, ask for surrender value statement.
– Ask insurer directly, not agents.

– Request written breakup.
– Include all charges.

– Compare future premiums versus surrender value.

» Important surrender-related points
– Surrender value may seem low.
– This is common in early years.

– Focus on future peace, not past loss.
– Stop throwing good money after bad.

» Tax aspect awareness
– Surrender proceeds may have tax impact.
– This depends on policy structure.

– Get clarity before final action.
– Plan withdrawal carefully.

» What to do after surrender
– Do not keep money idle.
– Reinvest based on retirement needs.

– Focus on income generation.
– Focus on capital safety.

» Suitable investment approach after exit
– Use diversified mutual fund solutions.
– Choose conservative to balanced options.

– Prefer actively managed funds.
– They adjust during market changes.

» Why index funds are unsuitable here
– Index funds mirror full market falls.
– No downside protection exists.

– Volatility can disturb sleep.
– Recovery may take time.

– Active funds aim to reduce damage.
– This suits senior investors better.

» Why regular mutual fund route helps
– Guidance is crucial at this age.
– Behaviour control matters.

– Regular reviews prevent mistakes.
– Certified Financial Planner support adds confidence.

– Cost difference is worth guidance.

» Income planning without annuities
– Avoid irreversible income products.
– Keep flexibility alive.

– Use systematic withdrawal approaches.
– Control amount and timing.

» Liquidity planning importance
– Keep enough money accessible.
– Emergencies do not announce arrival.

– Liquidity gives mental comfort.
– Avoid forced asset sales.

» Health expense preparedness
– Health costs rise sharply after sixty.
– Inflation is brutal here.

– Keep separate health contingency fund.
– Do not depend on policy maturity.

» Estate and family clarity
– Ensure nominees are updated.
– Write a clear Will.

– Avoid confusion for family.
– Simplicity matters now.

» Psychological peace as a goal
– Retirement planning is emotional.
– Stress harms health.

– Financial clarity improves wellbeing.
– Confidence comes from control.

» Red flags you should never ignore
– Premium pressure.
– Unclear benefits.

– Long lock-in periods.
– Agent-driven explanations only.

» What you should do immediately
– Ask insurer for surrender details.
– Evaluate calmly with numbers.

– Stop listening only to agents.
– Seek unbiased planning view.

» What not to do
– Do not continue blindly.
– Do not stop premiums without clarity.

– Do not delay decision endlessly.
– Delay increases loss.

» Your age-specific investment mindset
– Growth is secondary now.
– Stability is primary.

– Income visibility is essential.
– Liquidity is non-negotiable.

» Emotional reassurance
– You are not alone.
– Many seniors face similar issues.

– Correcting course is strength.
– It is never too late.

» Final Insights
– These policies are not aligned now.
– Premium stress confirms mismatch.

– Surrender option should be explored seriously.
– Protect peace over promises.

– Shift towards flexible, transparent investments.
– Focus on living benefits and comfort.

– Simplicity will serve you best now.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in

https://www.youtube.com/@HolisticInvestment

...Read more

DISCLAIMER: The content of this post by the expert is the personal view of the rediffGURU. Investment in securities market are subject to market risks. Read all the related document carefully before investing. The securities quoted are for illustration only and are not recommendatory. Users are advised to pursue the information provided by the rediffGURU only as a source of information and as a point of reference and to rely on their own judgement when making a decision. RediffGURUS is an intermediary as per India's Information Technology Act.

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