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Anu

Anu Krishna  |836 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Apr 19, 2024

Anu Krishna is a mind coach and relationship expert.
The co-founder of Unfear Changemakers LLP, she has received her neuro linguistic programming training from National Federation of NeuroLinguistic Programming, USA, and her energy work specialisation from the Institute for Inner Studies, Manila.
She is an executive member of the Indian Association of Adolescent Health.... more
Asked by Anonymous - Apr 19, 2024Hindi
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Relationship

Hi ma'am, something happened between me and my boyfriend as usual fights. His parents misunderstood him and me as well that I've gotten sick due to our fights and that he left me halfway through my house, which he didn't. And due a lot more misunderstandings he's parents have developed bit of a rage against me and they are blackmailing him to not try to Contact or call me or else they'd end their lives and he is scared cause he is an only child. Even if he wishes and tries to reach me he cannot because of his parents. What can be done in this situation. Now i don't understand shall i wait for him to come back or just move on. Since we haven't met or spoken for the last time. I haven't heard anything from him and his parents are saying he doesn't want to talk to anyone.

Ans: Dear Anonymous,
Do not waste your time...his parents and then him; you will constantly be in a stressful spot convincing either one of them that you are the person. If your boyfriend also feels the same as you about the relationship, then he will do something to support you.
If he doesn't and all that is becoming your job, then seriously do not waste any more time on this. And if he really wanted, he would have found a way of reaching out to you.
The very fact that you haven't heard much from him is a huge red flag. Focus on yourself and better people who respect you and your love will come along...
(My suggestions are only under the assumption that you and your boyfriend are above the age of 18 and 21 respectively).

All the best!

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Love Guru

Love Guru   |187 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert - Answered on May 30, 2022

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Hello Love Guru. I want to ask about my ex. We had relationship for past two years but kind of on and off. During initial stages we both acted immaturely and broke up but still one of us patch up. Last time, last year in September, my ex broke up saying he doesn't like my personality and our relationship is unmotivating. Even the previous breakup was by him saying he needs time and space. Although he had introduced me to his sister and friends, I think he is just been in relationship for TP. When he broke up last time, he got promoted at work maybe that’s why. Currently he said he has quit his job IDK reason and suddenly he realised he took wrong decisions. I was sure I don't want to give any more chance. So I told him that introduce me to your parents as your GF, not for marriage now. He said he will try but not sure. I have decided he is free and hence he wants relationship so not moving forward with him. Please tell me what you think. Although, after our patch-up, I do see small efforts from his side but I was always one who was on giving end.
Ans:

Your mail is quite confusing in the sense that I don’t know whether you’re currently with him or not; you refer to him as your ex and then say that after your patch-up you’re seeing that he’s making an effort.

Anyway, whether you’re on or off at present, this guy seems rather whimsical. And yes, I think your instinct is right in that he’s at loose ends right now without a job, etc, and wants some emotional support maybe, which is why he wants to get back with you.

I’m not saying don’t give him a chance; you can, if you think he’s genuinely realised that he wants to be with you. But, yes, he should make it official.

And if I were you, I’d be sure of things before getting too involved too fast this time around.

..Read more

Shalini

Shalini Singh  |61 Answers  |Ask -

Dating Coach - Answered on Feb 24, 2023

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We had an arranged marriage through matrimonial site. He lied to me about his drinking habits and financial status, etc. But after marriage i let it go that these things can be changed. His mother from the very first day was taunting and harrassing me for my skin colour, clothes, things given by my parents, etc. I never answered back to her. He also didn't said a single word to stop her. His sisters also used to taunt me and there were lots of interference. I never told anything to my parents. One day his mother was harrassing me over phone. I didn't said anything to her but called my husband and told him everything in very angered tone. He recorded everything and sent it to my parents, his parents, etc. When i tried to confront him, he blocked me. We couldn't talk for a long period. Now, he doesn't want to continue this relationship and said he wants divorce without giving any explanation. I am also very hurt. But also very confused about my future with him that how will i live with such a spineless man? My parents are not listening me that i also don't want to continue this toxic relationship. What should I do?
Ans: Its unfortunate that you had to experience what you had to...

1. Hope you are financially independent, if not please skill yourself and become so

2. Arranged marriage via family/ via an online site does not guarantee personality of a person's personality - hope you understand so.

3. Its unfortunate that your ma-in-law is an insecure and a negative individual because happy and secure folks do not behave the way she behaves with you.

4. It seems your husband also lives on some ego horse and recorded the conversation and shared it with the family.

Now I am more confused than you are - you have shared you are
a) unhappy
b) in an abusive relationship

my confusion is the following
a) why did you not break away and take this poor behaviour, where is your self worth
b) why do you want to go back into the black hole

As shared above - please work on yourself, your self worth, your confidence and work on skilling yourself to be financially independent....

Having said this you and only can decide on your life's future.

..Read more

Anu

Anu Krishna  |836 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on May 03, 2023

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Relationship
Exams and all are over ... My bf didn't texted me .. I asked him do you want to talk or not the he sounded non interested while talking and then i asked him what happened to you as he said he didn't wanted to talk to anyone he needs time ... So I gave him its been a month... I asked him again .. he was visiting places with his friends( girl) but didn't want to talk .. he said he didn't want talk just want to travel and need some time . I asked him how much time u need its been past one month . I said him to talk to me on call and clear it and then he said that If you cant spend days without talking to me , if u can't understand my situation and can't wait then u can leave ... What should I do ?? Is it so easy for boys to talk about breakup ..pls tell urgently. I don't feel valued and respected as If I was imp for him he would not talk abt breakup so easily. After this everything went silent.. it was like don't know shall I wait or not .. but I realised I don't have value in his life ... Some days before He texted me do u wanna talk or not . I replied with same energy like he used to do. Then I asked him what happened for past 2 months i got the same reply .. I was really hurt but i guess he never realised I texted that u blanked out for 2 months I asked desperately but u never gave me proper answer .. I was hurt even then also u never realised... He replied Hmm .. So u wanna talk or not say clearly. Yes or no that's it ..At this time it hit hard .. And then asked do u want us to continue. He said yes then i said How will u continue when u don't know what happened to u .. u don't sound interested when i ask with some pressure u just say to leave and the said .. Chalo leave ... I am not gud for u. Even after that he sends me snaps ... So idk what is this situation and I am not in condition to ask him as well. Should I just leave his snaps unseen and focus on my career?
Ans: Dear Yashasvi,

If I recall, you had reached out to me earlier too and asked me about the same thing.
For some reason, you are not willing to believe that he is just playing around and not interested in a commitment that you are interested in.
In your own words: "but I realised I don't have value in his life." - When you have realized this, what more are you expecting from him?

I understand that you are hurt with his attitude and feel rejected...you are also possibly hoping for him to change and come back to you; will it happen? With what you have said about him: he wants to travel, he needs time...he has not broken up with you because there was no relationship that he was in with you at all. It is time for you to accept that this boy is currently not in a place where he wants to stick with you in a commitment. So, he makes all the excuses he can come up with...and when he can roam about with the other girl, does that not tell you that you seriously have no value in his life? How else do you want him to tell you, so that you can move on...
Please value and respect yourself first; only then others will do that too...you have just become too easily available for him and he has used that to treat you the way he does...
So, what should you do? Yes, kindly focus on your career...it will boost your confidence and give you a sense of accomplishment to value yourself even more...

All the best...remember to also value yourself...

..Read more

Anu

Anu Krishna  |836 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Jun 03, 2023

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Hi Anu, I hope you're doing well. I'm a 24 year old girl working as a software engineer. I was in love with a boy in long distance relationship and I met him only once. We both had great understanding, respect on each other. It was all good between us. On February 2023, he called me one day saying that he wants to tell his parents about our love matter. I said okay and asked him what he wanted to do if his family disagrees. He said that he'll wait until his family approves. I was okay with it and he informed to his family. But things started changing after he talked with his family. He wanted to break up with me. I told him many times that I wanted to be with him and don't want to break up. But, he didn't agree. Eventually, we stopped talking with each other. It was hard for me to move on but after few months, i finally decided to move on with my life. Then suddenly he messaged me saying that he wants to get back with me. I didn't agreed as I lost my trust on him. He even informed his family about getting back with me and they were okay with it. He wants to marry me. But, now the problem is I still like him, but I lost trust in him. I wanted to give him a chance but I'm afraid because of past break up with him. I'm confused about what should I do? Anu, can you please suggest me about giving him a chance or moving on with my life?
Ans: Dear Mahi,
Thank you for asking. I am doing well and trust that you too will be in the same space as well.
When what he has done has broken your trust, it is difficult to get it back... he has come back, but you are perhaps thinking: what if he pulls the same stunt again? And this makes you question every move of his...

If you look at it from his point of view, he possibly also loves you but his family pressures are getting to him and he can do only that much. Yes, it would have been more 'human' to talk to you about what had happened after he spoke with his family. But he chose not to and that lack of transparency is what has thrown you off...perhaps, he isn't all that mature emotionally or feels that he might lose you if he shares anything.

Whatever it is, your loss of trust on him is justified after the way he had behaved. If the two of you still want to give your relationship a chance, kindly do so...and clearly state to him that you have lost trust on him. Not only does he have explaining to do but he must reassure you that he will be honest with you in future. Also, give some time before committing to a marriage while you watch whether he has changed and he is consistent with what he has committed to changing. Only when you are sure, take a decision either way!

All the best!

..Read more

Ravi

Ravi Mittal  |181 Answers  |Ask -

Dating, Relationships Expert - Answered on Apr 18, 2024

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My boyfriend tells about us to his parents his parents rejected our relationship due to intercaste and they also stop talking to him it's been 4 months his mother don't talk to him .He is in navy . And they also started searching girl for him . He want to maintain distance from me he is not happy he is stressed as his own parents are not talking to him And also maintaining distance to me he talks to me me but just because I can't live without him but he changes in behaviour what to do
Ans: Dear Shruti,

I am sorry that you are in this situation. First of all, please try to look at it from your partner's perspective. It isn't easy to confront your parents and it's even harder when they stop communicating altogether. Having said that, I also understand how it is for you. It is not fair, especially in today's day and age, to face discrimination based on caste.

You have two options:
One, you wait patiently, emotionally support your boyfriend, and hope that his parents come to their senses and realize that we are living in 2024, and caste-based discrimination is ridiculous. In this scenario, you do have to let go of your self-respect and have to face many more hardships, that much is guaranteed.

The second option is you hold your head high and move on. Yes, it isn't what you hoped for when you emotionally invested in building this relationship, but unfortunately, these things are still happening. In this scenario, you will be sad for a long time, but you don't have to compromise on your self-respect and you will move on and live to see happier days with someone who respects you and sees you for who you are and not your caste.

Now, the choice is yours.

Best Wishes!

..Read more

Latest Questions
Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |1318 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on May 03, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Jan 29, 2024Hindi
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Hi Sir. I am 29 years old and have a saving of 5lac now so I want to invest it in lumpsum SIP for 10 years. Could you please suggest me which fund would be better including small, mid and large where I can get over 25 returns
Ans: Investing a lump sum in SIPs for 10 years is a wise move towards building wealth. Considering your age and investment horizon, here's a diversified portfolio suggestion that includes exposure to small, mid, and large-cap stocks:

Large-Cap Fund: Invest a portion of your funds in a reputable large-cap fund known for its consistent performance and stability. Large-cap funds invest in well-established companies with a track record of strong earnings and market leadership.
Mid-Cap Fund: Allocate another portion to a mid-cap fund, which focuses on companies with medium market capitalization. Mid-cap stocks have the potential for higher growth than large-cap stocks but come with higher volatility.
Small-Cap Fund: Lastly, invest in a small-cap fund to capture the growth potential of smaller companies. Small-cap stocks can be more volatile but offer the possibility of significant returns over the long term.
Ensure to select funds with a proven track record, experienced fund managers, and low expense ratios. While aiming for over 25% returns is ambitious, it's crucial to remain realistic and consider the associated risks. Diversification across different market segments can help mitigate risks and enhance potential returns.

Consulting with a Certified Financial Planner can provide personalized advice tailored to your financial goals and risk tolerance. They can help you select suitable funds and construct a well-balanced portfolio aligned with your investment objectives.

...Read more

Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |1318 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on May 03, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Jan 28, 2024Hindi
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Money
Hi I'm investing 1500 in nifty mid cap 150 index, 1000 in nifty next 50 index and 500 in nifty 50 index. 100 percent passive investment fpr long term. Any suggestions with allocation or diversification?
Ans: Here's a breakdown of your current portfolio and some thoughts on active vs. passive investing:
Current Portfolio:

Nifty Midcap 150 Index (1500): This is a good way to gain exposure to mid-sized companies in India.
Nifty Next 50 Index (1000): This provides exposure to companies on the cusp of joining the Nifty 50, potentially offering higher growth.
Nifty 50 Index (500): This offers diversification with large, established companies.
Overall, your portfolio is leaning towards a growth strategy with a good focus on mid-cap and small-cap companies. This has the potential for higher returns but also comes with higher risk.

Active vs. Passive Investing:

Active Funds: These are managed by professionals who try to outperform the market by picking winning stocks. While active management can be successful, studies show that over the long term, a large percentage of actively managed funds underperform their benchmark index. The fees associated with active management also eat into returns.

Passive Funds (Index Funds): These track a market index, like the Nifty 50. They offer lower fees and historically, tend to match or outperform a significant portion of actively managed funds. This makes them a good option for long-term investors who don't want to spend a lot of time managing their portfolio.

Here's why your current approach with index funds is a good strategy for long-term investing:

Low Cost: Index funds have minimal fees, allowing you to keep more of your returns.
Diversification: You're already diversified across different market segments, reducing risk.
Long-Term Focus: With a long-term outlook, riding out market fluctuations is easier, and index funds tend to perform well over time.
Here are some additional thoughts:

Asset Allocation: Consider your risk tolerance and investment goals. You could adjust your weightings between the Nifty 50, Next 50, and Midcap 150 to achieve your desired risk profile.
Rebalancing: Periodically rebalance your portfolio to maintain your target asset allocation.
Ultimately, the decision of active vs. passive is yours. However, for a long-term investor with a focus on low costs and diversification, a passive approach with index funds is a well-supported strategy.
Lastly, if you're open to exploring active funds, consider consulting with a professional Mutual Fund Distributor (MFD) with Certified Financial Planner (CFP) credentials. They can provide personalized advice and recommend active funds that have the potential to outperform their respective indices over time.

...Read more

Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |1318 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on May 03, 2024

Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |1318 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on May 03, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Jan 28, 2024Hindi
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Money
Dear sir My sister is a heart patient and spending around Rs 5000 per month.She is a widower and age arround 65. I want to deposit an amount of ? 1500000.00 in her name at Senior citizens scheme apart from already deposited 400000 lac. I put my daughter name, her grandchildren name as nominee. Any hurdles in this one. Please send the reply to me
Ans: It's heartwarming to see your concern for your sister's well-being, especially given her health condition. Depositing an additional amount in her name under the Senior Citizens Savings Scheme (SCSS) can indeed provide her with financial security during her retirement years.

As for the nomination process, nominating your daughter and her grandchildren as beneficiaries is a thoughtful gesture. However, there might be some considerations to keep in mind:

Consent: Ensure that your sister is aware of and agrees to the nomination arrangement. It's essential to respect her wishes and ensure that she is comfortable with the decision.
Legal Requirements: Verify if there are any specific legal requirements or restrictions regarding nominees for SCSS accounts. While nominating family members is common, it's prudent to confirm compliance with applicable regulations.
Contingency Planning: Consider discussing contingency plans with your daughter regarding the management of the funds in case of your sister's demise. This ensures a smooth transition and effective utilization of the funds for your sister's intended beneficiaries.
Documentation: Complete all necessary paperwork accurately and ensure that the nomination details are correctly recorded in the SCSS account documents.
Consulting with a financial advisor or legal expert can provide personalized guidance tailored to your sister's situation and help navigate any potential hurdles or concerns. Your proactive approach to securing your sister's financial future demonstrates care and foresight, and with careful planning, you can ensure that her needs are well-addressed.

...Read more

Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |1318 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on May 03, 2024

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Money
Hi Vivek my name is Anand and Iam 48 yrs old. I am investing monthly 32165/- in the following funds. DAY AMT SCHEME 1 1000 SBI Small Cap Fund-Direct-Growth 2 1000 Kotak Emerging Equity Fund - Direct Plan - Growth 1000 DSP Midcap Fund-Direct-Growth 1000 Mirae Asset Large Cap Fund Direct Plan Growth 1000 BANDHAN Sterling Value Fund-Growth-(Direct Plan) 6 7 1000 SBI Small Cap Fund-Direct-Growth 8 9 1250 Kotak Emerging Equity Fund - Direct Plan - Growth 10 1250 Mirae Asset Emerging Bluechip Fund - Direct Plan - Growth 11 1250 DSP Midcap Fund-Direct-Growth 12 1250 Mirae Asset Large Cap Fund Direct Plan Growth 13 1000 BANDHAN Sterling Value Fund-Growth-(Direct Plan) 14 15 1000 SBI Small Cap Fund-Direct-Growth 16 1250 Kotak Emerging Equity Fund - Direct Plan - Growth 17 1250 DSP Midcap Fund-Direct-Growth 18 1250 Mirae Asset Large Cap Fund Direct Plan Growth 19 1000 BANDHAN Sterling Value Fund-Growth-(Direct Plan) 20 1250 Mirae Asset Emerging Bluechip Fund - Direct Plan - Growth 21 1000 SBI Small Cap Fund-Direct-Growth 22 23 24 1000 Kotak Emerging Equity Fund - Direct Plan - Growth 25 1000 DSP Midcap Fund-Direct-Growth 26 1000 SBI Small Cap Fund-Direct-Growth 27 1000 BANDHAN Sterling Value Fund-Growth-(Direct Plan) 28 1000 Mirae Asset Large Cap Fund Direct Plan Growth I am planning for next 10 years and how much corpus can I get after 10 years.
Ans: Anand! It's great to see your commitment to investing for the future. Planning for the next 10 years is a wise move, and with your regular investments in diversified mutual funds, you're on the right track to building a substantial corpus.

To estimate the potential corpus after 10 years, we need to consider several factors such as the expected average annual return rate of the funds, any additional contributions you may make, and the compounding effect of your investments over time.

Since you've invested in a mix of small-cap, mid-cap, large-cap, and value funds, it indicates a diversified approach aimed at optimizing returns while managing risk.

To provide a precise estimate, it's advisable to use a mutual fund calculator or consult a financial advisor. They can input the specific details of your investments, including the current value, expected returns, and future contributions, to forecast the potential corpus after 10 years.

Remember, while forecasting future returns is essential for planning, it's equally crucial to stay invested consistently, review your portfolio periodically, and make adjustments as needed to stay aligned with your financial goals and risk tolerance.

Keep up the disciplined approach to investing, and you'll likely see your investments grow significantly over the next decade.

...Read more

DISCLAIMER: The content of this post by the expert is the personal view of the rediffGURU. Investment in securities market are subject to market risks. Read all the related document carefully before investing. The securities quoted are for illustration only and are not recommendatory. Users are advised to pursue the information provided by the rediffGURU only as a source of information and as a point of reference and to rely on their own judgement when making a decision. RediffGURUS is an intermediary as per India's Information Technology Act.

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