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Anu

Anu Krishna  |1162 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on May 30, 2024

Anu Krishna is a mind coach and relationship expert.
The co-founder of Unfear Changemakers LLP, she has received her neuro linguistic programming training from National Federation of NeuroLinguistic Programming, USA, and her energy work specialisation from the Institute for Inner Studies, Manila.
She is an executive member of the Indian Association of Adolescent Health.... more
Alka Question by Alka on May 27, 2024Hindi
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Relationship

Hi, i m 45 yrs old female, not married, but have responsibility of 4 children, 2 sons of brother and daughter and son of sister. My sister succumbed to cancer 3 yrs before, her husband, mentally unfit not capable of earning, so my sister children age 17 Yr girl, and 11 yr son stays with me, Brother not supporting any way, his wife left him 6 months ago, All four children are between 10 to 17 yrs, I and my mother look after them, My only source of income is coaching classes, Plz tell how to handle such situation and have extra source of income for children education. Do you have any solution...

Ans: Dear Alka,
Kindly call your brother...let him do what needs to be done for his children...you can oversee and support him but the main parenting has to be his responsibility. Even his wife has to be party to all of this...who ever asked you to jump into this?
The more you are willing to take on, the more people will love to pile on you. I understand this in your sister's case as there is no one to care for the children...your brother and his family are simply taking advantage of your kindness.

Talk to him and tell him this cannot go on...if you really want to care for your brother's children, support them with a lot of love and affection BUT the main responsibility of taking care of their every need lies with your brother and his wife...This will enable you to have some disposable income which will start securing your life as well.

All the best!
Anu Krishna
Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
Drop in: www.unfear.io
Reach me: Facebook: anukrish07/ AND LinkedIn: anukrishna-joyofserving/

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Financial Planner - Answered on Feb 26, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Feb 26, 2024Hindi
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Dear sir, I am currently 45 and just off from my dependents i.e., my 3 sisters out of which 2 were expecting my help to settle on their life - both my sisters off from their burden to an extent as their son started working and daughters were married to a decent families. I helped them by helping on their studies, marriage of my niece and assisted my nephew to buy a property (provided the advance or initial payment of 4 lacs). I haven't saved anything for my kids yet except a house , some jewellery about 50 sovereign and 1/2 ground land. My sisters and mother doesn't feel complete but I have informed it is not happening because I need to looks at my 2 kids 11 and 6. Besides, my wife is super supportive and never disputes or raised concerns. The ask is I have been working since childhood like 16 so feeling tired at times so I am planning to start my own businesses but still I am feeling jittery as I didn't save much for their studies etc. I am working in ites services so I feel like that I have 5 years max ahead. No politics in the office but I am stuck with no major opportunities. Please guide me on how to put a perspective and lead a clear way ahead as I am totally confused to be honest. Thanks in advance and please write back as this is my second time asking for suggestions.
Ans: It would really be good to answer you but I am confused as what to tell you because you have not mentioned any of your financial goals as such, I may not be of any help to you for your social obligations

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Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |6345 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Apr 01, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Feb 26, 2024Hindi
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Money
Dear guru, I am currently 45 and just off from my dependents i.e., my 3 sisters out of which 2 were expecting my help to settle on their life - both my sisters off from their burden to an extent as their son started working and daughters were married to a decent families. I helped them by helping on their studies, marriage of my niece and assisted my nephew to buy a property (provided the advance or initial payment of 4 lacs). I haven't saved anything for my kids yet except a house , some jewellery about 50 sovereign and 1/2 ground land. My sisters and mother doesn't feel complete but I have informed it is not happening because I need to looks at my 2 kids 11 and 6. Besides, my wife is super supportive and never disputes or raised concerns. The ask is I have been working since childhood like 16 so feeling tired at times so I am planning to start my own businesses but still I am feeling jittery as I didn't save much for their studies etc. I am working in ites services so I feel like that I have 5 years max ahead. No politics in the office but I am stuck with no major opportunities. Please guide me on how to put a perspective and lead a clear way ahead as I am totally confused to be honest. Thanks in advance and please write back as this is my second time asking for suggestions.
Ans: Dear friend,

Firstly, let me commend you for your selflessness and dedication to supporting your family members. Your sacrifices and contributions have undoubtedly made a significant difference in their lives, and you should take pride in that.

Now, let's address your concerns about your own future and the well-being of your children. It's understandable that you may feel anxious about not having saved enough for their education and future needs. However, it's essential to recognize that it's never too late to start planning and taking steps towards securing their future.

Here are some steps you can consider to put things into perspective and chart a clear way forward:

Assess Your Financial Situation: Begin by conducting a thorough assessment of your current financial status. Take stock of your assets, liabilities, income, and expenses. Understanding where you stand financially will help you make informed decisions about your next steps.

Prioritize Your Goals: Identify your most pressing financial goals, such as funding your children's education, securing your retirement, and starting your own business. Prioritize these goals based on their urgency and importance.

Create a Financial Plan: Develop a comprehensive financial plan that outlines how you intend to achieve your goals. Consider factors such as budgeting, saving, investing, and risk management. A financial plan will serve as a roadmap to guide your actions and ensure you stay on track towards your objectives.

Start Saving and Investing: Begin setting aside a portion of your income towards your children's education fund and your retirement savings. Explore investment options that align with your risk tolerance and investment horizon. Consider consulting with a financial advisor to help you develop an investment strategy tailored to your needs.

Explore Entrepreneurship: If you feel inclined to start your own business, carefully evaluate the feasibility and potential risks involved. Conduct thorough market research, develop a solid business plan, and consider seeking mentorship or guidance from experienced entrepreneurs. Starting a business can be rewarding but requires careful planning and preparation.

Take Care of Yourself: Remember to prioritize your health and well-being amidst your responsibilities and aspirations. Take time to rest, recharge, and engage in activities that bring you joy and fulfillment. Your physical and mental well-being are essential for your ability to pursue your goals effectively.

Communicate with Your Family: Keep an open line of communication with your spouse and children about your aspirations, concerns, and plans for the future. Involve them in the decision-making process and ensure they understand the reasons behind your choices. Family support can be invaluable as you navigate life's challenges and opportunities.

In conclusion, while it's natural to feel overwhelmed by the uncertainties of the future, taking proactive steps towards financial planning and pursuing your aspirations can help alleviate some of that anxiety. Trust in your abilities, seek guidance when needed, and stay focused on your goals. Remember that each step you take today brings you closer to a brighter tomorrow.

Best wishes on your journey ahead.

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Anu

Anu Krishna  |1162 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Mar 21, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Mar 13, 2024Hindi
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Relationship
Hi I want to remain Anonymous. I am 48 year married with 2 kids. 2 year ago my wife lost both her parent. As his elder brother has last his wife 2 year prior. i asked him and is 18 year daughter to stay within. I thought that as their is no , i must help in their time to need. The problem is that my brother in law (my wife elder brother) dones have decent job. Due to this i am facing a lot of financial problem, i have 2 kid and need to save money for their future education. However with 2 more memeber in the family suddenly added, it has drastically hampered by financial plan. I have discussed this issue with my wife but she is not ready to understand. During covid-19 thing went from bad to worst. please suggest what shoul di do i this case.
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
Well your kindness has been overused. Simply state this to your brother-in-law and your wife that you are not willing to do this anymore.
Drawing boundaries right at the beginning can build very healthy relationships wherein each of you realize that kindness cannot become a weak spot for the person showing that trait. Also, your brother-in-law has the perfect and comfortable financial cushion in you and will never try and look for a job that will pay him better.
Your wife might protest when you state your point of view BUT if she understands the financials, I am sure she herself will find a solution to this situation. Let her understand that her brother now needs to grow up and take on his own responsibilities.

All the best!

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