Home > Relationship > Question
Need Expert Advice?Our Gurus Can Help

My Husband Wants Divorce After Discovering My Real Age: Can I Save My Marriage?

Anu

Anu Krishna  |1746 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Jul 12, 2024

Anu Krishna is a mind coach and relationship expert.
The co-founder of Unfear Changemakers LLP, she has received her neuro linguistic programming training from National Federation of NeuroLinguistic Programming, USA, and her energy work specialisation from the Institute for Inner Studies, Manila.
She is an executive member of the Indian Association of Adolescent Health.... more
Asked by Anonymous - Jul 10, 2024Hindi
Listen
Relationship

My husband and I met through a matrimonial site in 2015. He send me request and called me over phone. At that time,I was doing as govt teacher job residing in an area which is 300 km away from my city. He met me at my rented house and proposed for marriage. He asked my age but I hesitated to tell my age as I was almost 40 years then. He told me that it would not matter if I would be older than him. He was also about to 4o then. I didnt tell my age age, as I wanted to get married, because I had my younger sister to marry. He was working in a different state that time. He sent his father to our home to fix marriage. His father asked my age but because of shame, I could not tell my real age. I told them Iwas 36. We were married in 2016 April. By that time my job was transferred to my ho.e city. So I was at my in laws home during 2016 and 2017. My inlaws i.e my father in law and my unmarried sister in law were never supportive to me. They always treated me as outsider. As my husband and me were livi g apart because of job we couldnot plan for baby. We both were pretty older to conceive naturally, so I contacted an ivf specialist. The doctor told that I have less chance to conceive naturally as my egg quality is not good. It was not impossible though. But since we were living apart, he suggested me to go for donor ivf. I was broken for a moment as I wont be able to give birth my own child. But I had to make my husband a father. So I went for do or egg ivf. In June 2018 a beautiful baby girl was born. I was very happy to get her. But pI noticed his father started to drink alot after her birth. He got tranfer of his job in 2019 and he took me from his ho.e to company quarter in home city in 2019 August. It was okay initially, but he drank a lot which I couldnot bear as l was from a totally non drinker family. He even said he could leave me but not drink. In 2020 hecame to know my real age from my matriculation certificate. He was seen upset, I apologise to him for not telling him my real age. I also told him about my and our family condition at that time. He cuddled me and said that he was not that kind of person. To be mentioned here, he is 6 month younger than me. But gradually his behaviour was changing, always treat badly at very very small things. In 2021 he again hot temporary transfer to a different place which is 500 km away from our homè. During this time he totally cut co tact with me. When I was having Corona and was hospitalized with my 3 years he didn't come to visit us. In 2022 January he was back home. He took my mother to stay with us. From March 2022 he started asking for mutual divorce. I was shocked. Since I didnot agree to that he filed a divorce case against me in 2023 August. Now It has been about one year, we are in concillation process. We are still living together. We are having physical also. Sometimes he becomes good but he always attend the concelling and says that he wants divorce for sure. I dont want divorce as my daughter loves him so much. I dont want to break the family, he is providing food, my daughter's school fees etc. I also do a job, so I dont need money from him. Only I wantvto stay as family.Is there any way to change his mind ? My job is contractual, so I dont have job security. He gets a handsome salary like 1.5 lacs per month with all medical and other facilities. Please suggest, how can I change his mindset or what may cause him to divorce me. I trust him. He also trusts me. He has mentioned only age criteria for divorce.

Ans: Dear Anonymous,
Any relationship that starts on a foundation of Lies is bound to go wrong. I am sure you had your reasons for hiding your real age.
Now, this has become a bone of contention between the two of you.
Also, staying apart has not really helped the two of you bond and the fact of not being able to go through the natural process of pregnancy which helps couple bond also eluded the two of you.
What does not make sense is why after the birth of the child, he has taken up to drinking. Did he see the whole process as a failure of marriage? Do go through the recommended number of counseling sessions and be sure to mention that you want the marriage.
But, its no use if your husband does not want the same. Allow the counselor to do their job and there's one thing that you can do. Genuinely apologize for hiding your real age. Maybe when he sees and feels your apology, he maybe willing to forget all about the lie. Genuine apology, please...

All the best!
Anu Krishna
Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
Drop in: www.unfear.io
Reach me: Facebook: anukrish07/ AND LinkedIn: anukrishna-joyofserving/
Asked on - Jul 12, 2024 | Answered on Jul 15, 2024
Listen
Is age is so much important in marriage. Love, feelings nothing at all ? He wants to deprive his child from everything. I know which is bad for me that by daughter is not my biological daughter. He knows she is his biological daughter. Still he misbehaved with his daughter not me. My daughter is everything for me. She can leave her father but not me. She is very much attached to me. I have apologized to him from the very first time. But he takes the advantage of the situation. He wants to marry again so that he can have new family. There is no guarantee that he will treat the other wife nicely. Don't know what to do.
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
No, Age is not so important in a marriage; but if it isn't, then why did you hide the fact of your real age? You have givem it that importance enough to hide it, yeah?
And any relationship based on lies or a hidden fact can cause damages...
The only way that I can see is work with the Counselor and appeal to your husband as well. Tell him that your child needs the love of both parents. Hear what he has to say...and yes, he is bound to bring up the age factor over and over again...it is something that he feels cheated with...so, respect it...Like I said, Apologize like you really mean it...

And oh, why are you so bothered about how he will treat other women in his life? Just focus on your life and your marriage...

All the best!
Anu Krishna
Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
Drop in: www.unfear.io
Reach me: Facebook: anukrish07/ AND LinkedIn: anukrishna-joyofserving/
Asked on - Jul 20, 2024 | Answered on Aug 14, 2024
Listen
Why should I wont bother about other woman, he treated me badly before he came to know my age. And I am only 6 months older than him remember. He is making it issue. You may be of same kind of mentality. I am a woman and I will always think for other woman. I can not allow a narcissist to ruin others life. People like you are so selfish that you say these phrase "focus on your own life." You are not in a position to suggest other. You are a selfish woman. Thank you for your useless suggestion.
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
I do understand the tone of anger that you hold, and empathize the situation that you are in.
But, if the questions to me were only to gain support for yourself and speak against your husband, sorry that did not happen for you.
This platform is not gender-biased and at no point will you find me favoring one gender over another. So, that disappointment is from your expectations alone. My job here on this platform is to offer perspectives and simply guide a person who can then make a decision. How I am in real life and what I do, is something only I know. What people choose to see in that may or may not be the same as me. And that's perfectly fine!

Thank you for responding and actually making me yet again realize how my I love what I do and that I am on the right path of guiding people to see how life can be beautiful when we rid ourselves of anger, sadness, disappointments and more. Be well and I truly hope that you can find your peace :)

All the best!
Anu Krishna
Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
Drop in: www.unfear.io
Reach me: Facebook: anukrish07/ AND LinkedIn: anukrishna-joyofserving/

You may like to see similar questions and answers below

Kanchan

Kanchan Rai  |646 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Mar 20, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Mar 20, 2024Hindi
Listen
Relationship
Hello..I am 36 hrs old, a doctor, got married for 2nd time in Apr 2022. My 1st marriage was with a doctor in 2011 but we hardly stayed together for 1 month since he was away in another state for higher education. Indifference arose and we got separated soon after 6 months and got divorced 5 yrs later. Then i did job on off and finally finished my post graduation in 2024. During my post graduation i wanted to desperately get married for 2nd time as my age was increasing and i was feeling very lonely and wanted to settle down n have kids. I met a guy (he too a doctor and divorced) on matrimony. He approached me. We started talking, meeting. Everything was going good. But his mother was against our relationship. In between the guy too cut the contact with me. But i was wo trully in love with him that I wanted to marry him only. Somehow we got connected again. He came to my place and we lived together. He said he can't get married so soon. He said he would marry me only of i wl get pregnant.then i got pregnant and finally he married me in temple. Soon i delivered our child and his parent's accepted me n i went to his house to stay. There we used to have lots of fights as he revealed his true nature of being extremely KANJUS. his whole family was extremely kanjus. My husbnd doesn't like to spend a single Rs too and he doesn't like it if i spend my money too. We used to have frequent fights. Then hardly after 2 months, his mother called my parents and she told them that their sje could not tolerate me and i should leave tbeor house ASAP! I became very furious as my baby was jst 4 months old. Where would i stay alone with my child as i was studying. I called police to intervene and my mother in law got very angry, she cursed me in front of police- she called me a pros***ute. (This was her thinking- any woman who marries for 2nd time is a pros***ute!!!) Finally that night around 10pm i left her house with my child and some essentials. My parents stayed with me to look after my child. My husbnd kept visiting me on weekends. But my husbnd used to avoid me, block my calls. He never paid for my daughter's expenses too. A year have been passed. I have sent my baby to my parents house 6 months back as they wanted to go back as they stay in different state. Now my husbnd has cut all the ties, he has blocked me everywhere and he never called to enquire about our child in last 8-9 months. Last time when my father called him- he said he didn't wanna stay with me and I either can keep our child with me or i can give the child to him for rest of the life. I slipped into depression after all these. I messed up in my exams. I'm so disturbed that i had thought of ending my life many times but i reminded myself about my child. Now I don't know what to do. I talked him about divorce but he said he won't give me a single Rs aftr divorce since i am also earning. My parents too don't want me to go for a divorce 2nd time in my life as they are worried- our relatives and society will shame them. I want to bring my child back but i am worried- how will i take care of my baby since i am working. Please help. Keep me anonymous please.
Ans: I'm truly sorry to hear about the challenges you're facing. It sounds like you're in a very difficult situation, but please know that there are options available to you and support systems that can help you through this.

Firstly, it's important to prioritize your and your child's safety and well-being. Given the circumstances, it might be beneficial to seek legal advice from a lawyer who specializes in family law. They can help you understand your rights and options regarding custody, child support, and divorce.

Regarding your depression, it's crucial to seek professional help. Depression is a serious condition that requires treatment, and there are therapists, counselors, and support groups available to provide you with the support you need.

In terms of bringing your child back, you may need to explore options for childcare that accommodate your work schedule. This could include hiring a nanny, enrolling your child in daycare, or seeking help from family members or friends.

As for the societal pressure and fear of judgment from relatives, remember that your well-being and your child's well-being are the most important considerations. It's essential to prioritize your own happiness and safety rather than worrying about the opinions of others.

Please don't hesitate to reach out to support services such as hotlines, counseling services, or support groups for assistance and guidance. You're not alone, and there are people who can help you navigate through this challenging time.

..Read more

Latest Questions
Nayagam P

Nayagam P P  |10854 Answers  |Ask -

Career Counsellor - Answered on Dec 14, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Dec 12, 2025Hindi
Career
Hello, I am currently in Class 12 and preparing for JEE. I have not yet completed even 50% of the syllabus properly, but I aim to score around '110' marks. Could you suggest an effective strategy to achieve this? I know the target is relatively low, but I have category reservation, so it should be sufficient.
Ans: With category reservation (SC/ST/OBC), a score of 110 marks is absolutely achievable and realistic. Based on 2025 data, SC candidates qualified with approximately 60-65 percentile, and ST candidates with 45-55 percentile. Your target requires scoring just 37-40% marks, which is significantly lower than general category standards. This gives you a genuine advantage. Immediate Action Plan (December 2025 - January 2026): 4-5 Weeks. Week 1-2: High-Weightage Chapter Focus. Stop trying to complete the entire syllabus. Instead, focus exclusively on high-scoring chapters that carry maximum weightage: Physics (Modern Physics, Current Electricity, Work-Power-Energy, Rotation, Magnetism), Chemistry (Chemical Bonding, Thermodynamics, Coordination Compounds, Electrochemistry), and Maths (Integration, Differentiation, Vectors, 3D Geometry, Probability). These chapters alone can yield 80-100+ marks if practiced properly. Ignore topics you haven't studied yet. Week 2-3: Previous Year Questions (PYQs). Solve JEE Main PYQs from the last 10 years (2015-2025) for chapters you're studying. PYQs reveal question patterns and difficulty levels. Focus on understanding why answers are correct, not memorizing solutions. Week 3-4: Mock Tests & Error Analysis. Take 2-3 full-length mock tests weekly under timed conditions. This is crucial because mock tests build exam confidence, reveal time management weaknesses, and error analysis prevents repeated mistakes. Maintain an error notebook documenting every mistake—this becomes your revision guide. Week 4-5: Revision & Formula Consolidation. Create concise formula sheets for each subject. Spend 30 minutes daily reviewing formulas and key concepts. Avoid learning new topics entirely at this stage. Study Schedule (Daily): 7-8 Hours. Morning (5:00-7:30 AM): Physics concepts + 30 PYQs. Break (7:30-8:30 AM): Breakfast & rest. Mid-morning (8:30-11:00): Chemistry concepts + 20 PYQs. Lunch (11:00-1:00 PM): Full break. Afternoon (1:00-3:30 PM): Maths concepts + 30 PYQs. Evening (3:30-5:00 PM): Mock test or error review. Night (7:00-9:00 PM): Formula revision & weak area focus. Strategic Approach for 110 Marks: Attempt only confident questions and avoid negative marking by skipping difficult questions. Do easy questions first—in the exam, attempt all basic-level questions before attempting medium or hard ones. Focus on quality over quantity as 30 well-practiced questions beat 100 random questions. Master NCERT concepts as most JEE questions test NCERT concepts applied smartly. April 2026 Session Advantage. If January doesn't deliver desired results, April gives you a second chance with 3+ months to prepare. Use January as a practice attempt to identify weak areas, then focus intensively on those in February-March. Realistic Timeline: January 2026 target is 95-110 marks (achievable with focused 50% syllabus), while April 2026 target is 120-130 marks (with complete syllabus + experience). Your reservation benefit means you need only approximately 90-105 marks to qualify and secure admission to quality engineering colleges. Stop comparing yourself to general category cutoffs. Most Importantly: Consistency beats perfection. Study 6 focused hours daily rather than 12 distracted hours. Your 110-mark target is realistic—execute this plan with discipline. All the BEST for Your JEE 2026!

Follow RediffGURUS to Know More on 'Careers | Money | Health | Relationships'.

...Read more

Dr Dipankar

Dr Dipankar Dutta  |1841 Answers  |Ask -

Tech Careers and Skill Development Expert - Answered on Dec 13, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Dec 12, 2025
Career
Dear Sir/Madam, I am currently a 1st year UG student studying engineering in Sairam Engineering College, But there the lack of exposure and strict academics feels so rigid and I don't like it that. It's like they don't gaf about skills but just wants us to memorize things and score a good CGPA, the only skill they want is you to memorize things and pass, there's even special class for students who don't perform well in academics and it is compulsory for them to attend or else the student and his/her parents needs to face authorities who lashes out. My question is when did engineering became something that requires good academics instead of actual learning and skill set. In sairam they provides us a coding platform in which we need to gain the required points for each semester which is ridiculous cuz most of the students here just look at the solution to code instead of actual debugging. I am passionate about engineering so I want to learn and experiment things instead of just memorizing, so I actually consider dropping out and I want to give jee a try and maybe viteee , srmjeee But i heard some people say SRM may provide exposure but not that good in placements. I may not be excellent at studies but my marks are decent. So gimme some insights about SRM and recommend me other colleges/universities which are good at exposure
Ans: First — your frustration is valid

What you are experiencing at Sairam is not engineering, it is rote-based credential production.

“When did engineering become memorizing instead of learning?”

Sadly, this shift happened decades ago in most Tier-3 private colleges in India.

About “coding platforms & points” – your observation is sharp

You are absolutely right:

Mandatory coding points → students copy solutions

Copying ≠ learning

Debugging & thinking are missing

This is pseudo-skill education — it looks modern but produces shallow engineers.

The fact that you noticed this in 1st year already puts you ahead of 80% students.

Should you DROP OUT and prepare for JEE / VITEEE / SRMJEEE?

Although VIT/SRM is better than Sairam Engineering College, but you may face the same problem. You will not face this type of problem only in some top IITs, but getting seat in those IITs will be difficult.
Instead of dropping immediately, consider:

???? Strategy:

Stay enrolled (degree security)

Reduce emotional investment in college rules

Use:

GitHub

Open-source projects

Hackathons

Internships (remote)

Hardware / software self-projects

This way:

College = formality

Learning = self-driven

Risk = minimal

...Read more

DISCLAIMER: The content of this post by the expert is the personal view of the rediffGURU. Investment in securities market are subject to market risks. Read all the related document carefully before investing. The securities quoted are for illustration only and are not recommendatory. Users are advised to pursue the information provided by the rediffGURU only as a source of information and as a point of reference and to rely on their own judgement when making a decision. RediffGURUS is an intermediary as per India's Information Technology Act.

Close  

You haven't logged in yet. To ask a question, Please Log in below
Login

A verification OTP will be sent to this
Mobile Number / Email

Enter OTP
A 6 digit code has been sent to

Resend OTP in120seconds

Dear User, You have not registered yet. Please register by filling the fields below to get expert answers from our Gurus
Sign up

By signing up, you agree to our
Terms & Conditions and Privacy Policy

Already have an account?

Enter OTP
A 6 digit code has been sent to Mobile

Resend OTP in120seconds

x