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Kanchan

Kanchan Rai  |619 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on May 27, 2024

Kanchan Rai has 10 years of experience in therapy, nurturing soft skills and leadership coaching. She is the founder of the Let Us Talk Foundation, which offers mindfulness workshops to help people stay emotionally and mentally healthy.
Rai has a degree in leadership development and customer centricity from Harvard Business School, Boston. She is an internationally certified coach from the International Coaching Federation, a global organisation in professional coaching.... more
Butterfly Question by Butterfly on May 27, 2024Hindi
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Relationship

Hey mam please help me. I was in a relationship with a boy but things didn't work out.we got separated. Now I am relationship with another boy. My ex came to know and he is tracking that new boy and my ex is also thinking to tell this to my mother. My parents are very strict plz help me

Ans: I understand how stressful and upsetting this situation must be for you. Dealing with an ex who is invading your privacy and threatening to tell your parents about your new relationship can be very challenging, especially if your parents are strict. Here’s how you can navigate this situation with care and tact.

First, consider addressing the issue directly with your ex. Choose a calm and private setting where you can talk without interruptions. Explain to him that your relationship has ended and that it is important for both of you to respect each other's new lives. You might say something like, "I understand that this situation is difficult for you, but I need you to respect my privacy and my current relationship. It's important for both of us to move on in a healthy way." Be firm but respectful, emphasizing the need for mutual respect and boundaries.

If your ex continues to intrude on your privacy, it may be necessary to take further steps. Document any instances of harassment or invasive behavior, as this can be important if the situation escalates. In some cases, you might need to consider blocking him on social media and other communication platforms to prevent further intrusion.

Regarding your parents, honesty, and preparation are key. If you believe there is a significant chance that your ex will contact them, it might be best to address the situation yourself first. Think about how you can explain your situation to them in a way that emphasizes your maturity and responsibility. You could say something like, "I want to talk to you about something important. I was in a relationship that didn't work out, and I've started seeing someone new. My ex might try to contact you, but I want you to hear this from me first."

Prepare for their reaction by considering their concerns and having thoughtful responses ready. Show them that you are making responsible decisions and that you are capable of handling your personal relationships. This approach can help demonstrate your maturity and hopefully lead to a more understanding response from them.

Finally, lean on your support system. Friends, trusted family members, or even a counselor can provide valuable advice and emotional support as you navigate this difficult situation. It's important not to go through this alone and to seek out those who can offer guidance and encouragement.

Remember, you have the right to move on and be happy in your new relationship. By addressing the issue head-on, maintaining your boundaries, and preparing for conversations with your parents, you can navigate this challenging time with strength and dignity.

You may like to see similar questions and answers below

Anu

Anu Krishna  |1645 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Sep 22, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Sep 18, 2024Hindi
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Money
Hello mam, in the school days I loved a boy which was for 8 years relationship and unfortunately we broke up.. again after some days i was in the love with another guy he tortured me so bad. These two love stories know to my parents. When I told about second person they reacted very badly and they said that they would kill that boy . But now I wanted to marry the first boy which was of 8 years relationship. My parents are very serious about it and they are trying to get matches for me. How can I tell this matter to them?. What if they threaten to kill us? I know I made a mistake but it was so unfortunate. In my whole family no one is supportive to me..
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
How old are you now?
And just to protect you, your family will find it hard supporting you on this decision.
How is your relationship with the first boy now? Is he aware of your second relationship? Does the first boy also want to be married to you?
There was a reason why the two of you had broken up, has that reason now been eliminated?
All these questions must be answered before you make a decision to marry the first boy and only after that can you have an sort of debate with your parents on the decision. Obviously, they are concerned for you and what you have gone through and hence feel that who they choose for you will be the best for you...
So, to have them on your side, you need to work on the above questions and also make sure that you have a future with the boy and that you can take care of yourself. This involves a lot of work...

All the best!
Anu Krishna
Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
Drop in: www.unfear.io
Reach me: Facebook: anukrish07/ AND LinkedIn: anukrishna-joyofserving/

..Read more

Anu

Anu Krishna  |1645 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Nov 19, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Nov 12, 2024Hindi
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Relationship
I'm in a happy relationship with my boyfriend since 1.5 years. Before meeting him I had a relationship of around1.3 years(he cheated on me) and my mother got to know about it when she saw me crying and i end up telling her about my relationship(now ex). So I just need advice, should I tell my current boyfriend that my mother know about my ex? Now My mother somehow almost got to know about my current relationship also and i have told about this to my boyfriend but should I tell him that she knows about my past also.? Would he be okay with it or he will get upset about it that i haven't told him about this prior?
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
How will it matter if your boyfriend knows about your mother being in the know about your past relationship?
Why will he be bothered by it? I just don't understand why this is an issue of you or anyone?

Your words:
i have told about this to my boyfriend but should I tell him that she knows about my past also.
My thoughts:
What will this do if you tell him that she knows about your past?

Your words:
Would he be okay with it or he will get upset about it that i haven't told him about this prior?
My thoughts:
Maybe you should tell him about your past and not worry that he should know that your mother knows about your past

I still feel what you actually want to ask me is not very clear to you; be honest with yourself so that when you ask your question you will be able to get better guidance from me...

All the best!
Anu Krishna
Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
Drop in: www.unfear.io
Reach me: Facebook: anukrish07/ AND LinkedIn: anukrishna-joyofserving/

..Read more

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Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |9736 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Jul 15, 2025

Money
Hi Sir, I am 32 years old, married and have a 4 month old daughter. I am working in a defense based private company. I earn 53K in hand. My monthly expenses come to around 20K. I have just started investing in mutual funds and doing a SIP of Rs.8000 per month. I have invested around 1.5 lakhs across multiple funds by now. I also have around 1.2lakhs in my EPFO account. I have saved 20K per month for my daughter for the past year which totals around 2 lakhs right now which I want to invest in her name for the long term. Besides these, I do not own any assets or have any liabilities as of now. Please suggest where to invest the amount I have saved for my daughter for best returns. And also please suggest how to plan for my retirement considering similar monthly expenditure with addition of daughters education and marriage.
Ans: You are in a very important phase of life. At 32, with a young child and a steady income, you have made a solid beginning. Your habit of saving and investing early will give you a big edge. Your family is depending on you, and your discipline will secure their future.

Let’s look at everything in a structured and simple way.

? Understanding Your Current Financial Situation

– Your income is Rs.53000 in hand.
– You spend Rs.20000 monthly.
– You save and invest the rest, which is very good.
– You already do SIP of Rs.8000 per month.
– You have Rs.1.5 lakhs in mutual funds.
– You have Rs.1.2 lakhs in EPFO.
– You have Rs.2 lakhs saved for your daughter.
– You have no loans.
– You have no assets like house or gold.

This is a healthy start. You are already spending only 40% of your income. That gives room to build wealth. Now, let us look at what to do next.

? Investing Your Daughter’s Rs.2 Lakhs: Long-Term View

This is for your daughter’s future. Likely uses could be higher education or marriage. Both are long-term goals.

– She is only 4 months now.
– You have 15 to 20 years time.
– This gives scope for growth-based investing.

Here’s what you can do:

– Invest this Rs.2 lakhs in 2 or 3 equity mutual funds.
– Choose actively managed funds for better long-term returns.
– Avoid index funds. They only copy the market and don’t beat inflation.
– Actively managed funds have expert fund managers.
– They adjust based on market opportunities.
– Over 15 years, they usually outperform index funds.

Also,

– Use Regular Plans through a CFP-backed Mutual Fund Distributor.
– Avoid Direct Plans unless you can manage and review investments on your own.
– Direct plans don’t provide support, review, or portfolio balancing.
– Regular Plans through a Certified Financial Planner help you stay disciplined.
– A qualified planner monitors the market and guides rebalancing.
– You avoid costly emotional mistakes.

Strategy for daughter’s funds:

– Divide Rs.2 lakhs across 2 or 3 good equity mutual funds.
– Stay invested for 15 years minimum.
– Do not withdraw in between.
– Review yearly with help of Certified Financial Planner.
– This can grow into a good education or marriage corpus.

Also, since you are already saving Rs.20000 every month for her, keep it up.
Even Rs.5000 or Rs.10000 monthly in SIP for her will make a big difference over time.

? Planning Your Retirement: Long-Term but Needs Focus

Retirement planning should start now. You have time, but the earlier, the better.

– You are 32 now.
– You can aim to retire at 60.
– That gives you 28 years to save.
– But inflation reduces the value of money.
– So Rs.20000 expenses today will grow a lot by retirement.

You need to plan for:

– Your own expenses after retirement
– Your wife’s needs
– Medical costs in old age
– Travel and emergencies
– No income after retirement

What you should do:

– Increase your SIP gradually as income rises.
– Right now, you invest Rs.8000 in mutual funds.
– Increase it by Rs.1000 every year.
– Also start a new SIP only for retirement.
– Separate from daughter’s goal.

Why equity mutual funds help:

– Equity mutual funds beat inflation over long term.
– They build wealth over 20+ years.
– Don’t choose debt mutual funds for retirement goals.
– Debt funds give stable returns but low growth.
– They are good for short-term goals.

Continue EPFO contribution:

– EPFO is a good long-term tool.
– It gives safe and tax-free corpus at retirement.
– Don’t withdraw EPF for other uses.
– Let it grow till retirement.

? Tracking Your Monthly Budget and Investing Discipline

Your expenses are only Rs.20000.
You save nearly Rs.30000 each month.
This gives you enough to grow wealth for all goals.

– Continue SIP of Rs.8000 or increase it.
– Start SIP of Rs.5000 for daughter.
– Start SIP of Rs.5000 for retirement.
– Keep Rs.5000 to Rs.7000 for emergency savings.
– Maintain Rs.1 lakh as emergency fund.
– Park it in liquid fund or FD for easy access.

This way:

– You cover child’s needs.
– You build retirement wealth.
– You stay ready for emergencies.

? Life Insurance and Health Insurance: Non-Investment but Vital

These are not investments. But they are must-haves.
They protect your family and finances from sudden shocks.

– Buy a term insurance of Rs.50 lakhs to Rs.1 crore.
– Choose only pure term insurance.
– Do not take ULIPs or endowment policies.
– They give low returns and high costs.
– If you already have such products, you may consider surrendering.
– Reinvest that amount in mutual funds.

– Also buy family floater health insurance.
– You, your wife and daughter should be covered.
– Minimum Rs.5 lakhs coverage.
– Health costs rise every year.

? Education and Marriage Planning for Daughter

These are big goals. But they are long-term, so time is your friend.

Education Planning:

– Higher education needs large funds.
– Start a separate SIP of Rs.5000 per month.
– Use equity mutual funds.
– Review every year and increase SIP.
– Don’t touch this investment for any other need.

Marriage Planning:

– This is 20+ years away.
– You can use lumpsum investments here.
– The Rs.2 lakhs you saved can be for this.
– Also, build this goal slowly after education fund is stable.

Do not mix marriage and education planning.
Treat them as two different goals.

? Building Assets for Financial Stability

You currently do not have any physical assets. That’s not a problem.

Focus on building financial assets.

– Mutual funds are liquid and can grow well.
– EPFO adds stability and long-term safety.
– Emergency fund ensures peace of mind.
– Term insurance covers family needs.
– Health insurance protects savings.

Stick to these. Do not get distracted by gold or real estate.

Real estate has low liquidity and high maintenance.
Also, resale or rental is not easy and returns are uncertain.

? Why You Should Avoid Index Funds

Index funds may look cheap. But they have limitations.

– They only copy the market index like Nifty.
– They don’t outperform the market.
– In falling markets, they fall fully.
– No active fund manager to manage risk.
– Inflation can beat index fund returns.

On the other hand:

– Actively managed funds have experienced managers.
– They reduce exposure to weak sectors.
– They increase exposure to strong sectors.
– Over long term, they create better value.

Always go with active mutual funds through a CFP-led advisor.
They help you rebalance and stay on track.

? Why Direct Mutual Funds Are Not Ideal

Direct funds have low expense ratio. But they lack guidance.

– No help with fund selection.
– No review or rebalancing support.
– No risk profiling.
– No hand-holding during market falls.

Investors often panic or stay emotional.
This hurts long-term returns.

On the other hand:

– Regular plans give guidance.
– Through Certified Financial Planner, you get yearly reviews.
– You get portfolio alignment based on goals.
– Mistakes are avoided.

The slightly higher cost is worth the value it brings.
Long-term discipline beats small cost difference.

? What To Review Every Year

Every year, review these points:

– SIP amount and growth
– Fund performance
– Daughter’s goal progress
– Retirement corpus projection
– Changes in income or expenses
– New responsibilities or medical needs
– Emergency fund adequacy

Your planner can guide this review well.
This ensures all your goals stay on track.

? Finally

You are doing very well for your stage in life.

– You have no loans.
– You are disciplined in savings.
– You are planning for your daughter.
– You are thinking of retirement.

This mindset will help you build wealth peacefully.

Follow these steps:

– Stay invested for long term.
– Don’t chase returns.
– Review yearly.
– Invest goal-wise.
– Increase SIPs as income grows.
– Avoid distractions like gold and real estate.
– Avoid mixing insurance and investment.
– Take professional help where needed.

With this, you can confidently build your financial future.

Best Regards,
K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,
Chief Financial Planner,
www.holisticinvestment.in
https://www.youtube.com/@HolisticInvestment

...Read more

Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |9736 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Jul 15, 2025

Money
Sirji I had claimed 54 F last financial year ie 2023-24 of Rs. 74,58,474 shares sold on 10/08/2023 flat purchased on 25/08/2023 I purchased another flat in FY 2024-25 on 18/11/2024 . since i have purchased another flat ( on 18/11/2024 ) within TWO years of sale of original asset ( sold on 10/08/2023) Undertsand that the LTCG caimed in last fy 23-24 of rs 74.58 lacs will be disallowed and added back to fy 24-25 income QUERRY - Since the sale of shares transaction took place before 23 july 2024 ( on 10/08/2023) will I be taxed at 10 % LTCG tax ?? Or at 12.50 % since the condition was broken on 18/11/2024( after 23 rd July 2024) Regards Narayanan
Ans: ? Your Transaction in Brief

– You sold listed shares on 10th August 2023.
– You claimed exemption under capital gains against purchase of a flat on 25th August 2023.
– You have now bought another flat on 18th November 2024.
– You are aware this may disallow the earlier exemption of Rs. 74.58 lakhs.
– You are rightly asking if tax will be 10% or 12.5%.

This is a very thoughtful and forward-looking question. Let’s decode it point by point.

? When is the Exemption Reversed?

– Capital gains exemption is condition-based.
– One such condition is – you should not buy another residential flat within 2 years.
– You violated this condition on 18th November 2024.
– So, the exemption taken earlier gets reversed.
– The amount of Rs. 74.58 lakhs becomes taxable again.
– This reversal happens in the financial year when condition is broken.
– So, this income will be added back in FY 2024-25.

? Which Tax Rate Will Apply on this Reversed LTCG?

– You sold shares in August 2023, that is before 23rd July 2024.
– This date is very important for taxation rules.
– The new LTCG rate of 12.5% is applicable only for transactions on or after 23rd July 2024.
– Your original transaction happened before this cut-off.
– Hence, the older LTCG tax rule of 10% applies in your case.

So, even though the exemption is reversed now, tax rate remains at 10%.
This is because the transaction date is the deciding factor.
Not the date of exemption being withdrawn.
So your understanding is correct, and that’s appreciated.

? Should You Worry About Indexation or STCG?

– No. Since shares were held for more than 1 year, it is clearly LTCG.
– Short-term capital gain rules will not apply here.
– Also, no indexation benefit is available for equity shares.
– But 10% rate on LTCG above Rs. 1 lakh is fair and reasonable.

? How Will This Affect FY 2024-25 Tax Filing?

– The Rs. 74.58 lakhs will now show as LTCG income in FY 2024-25.
– You should report this under capital gains section in ITR.
– Pay advance tax on this if not yet paid.
– Otherwise, you may end up paying interest under sections 234B and 234C.
– Please coordinate with your Chartered Accountant for the tax filing part.

This is important to keep your records clean and avoid scrutiny.

? Will This Impact Your Overall Financial Goals?

– A one-time tax outgo of 10% on Rs. 74.58 lakhs = approx. Rs. 7.45 lakhs.
– If you had planned this well, it can be absorbed easily.
– But if not planned, it could dent liquidity.
– You should relook at your emergency corpus and contingency planning.
– A Certified Financial Planner can help rebalance your goals accordingly.

? Why This Tax Rule Exists – An Insight

– The law allows you to reinvest LTCG into one residential flat.
– This benefit is to encourage home buying, not to speculate.
– That’s why, buying another home within 2 years is seen as a misuse.
– So exemption is withdrawn and LTCG is added back.
– This keeps the rule balanced and fair for all taxpayers.

? Should You Surrender Insurance Policies if Any?

– If you have ULIPs or traditional LIC policies with investment tag, please review.
– These give very low return and poor flexibility.
– If they are more than 5 years old, you may surrender them.
– Reinvest those amounts in mutual funds through a MFD-CFP route.
– That can give you better return, liquidity and transparency.

? Why Not to Go for Direct Mutual Funds?

– Direct funds look cheap, but they come with risks.
– No guidance, no risk-mapping, no goal alignment.
– They expose you to poor fund selection and wrong SIP allocation.
– MFD with CFP gives handholding and better fund filtration.
– Also, regular plans have built-in advisory value.
– This cost is worth paying for financial peace.

? Why Index Funds Are Not the Best Route

– Index funds are passive. They just follow market trend.
– They don’t outperform or give alpha returns.
– In volatile or falling markets, they give poor protection.
– They don’t adapt to sectoral changes or economic cycles.
– Actively managed funds adjust portfolio as per market moves.
– They have research backing, fund manager intelligence, and alpha generation.

In your case, where capital gains are involved, risk-managed returns are key.
So actively managed funds through regular route is more suitable.

? How to Absorb This LTCG Tax Impact

– Start an SIP-based STP to gradually invest surplus in balanced mutual funds.
– Create a buffer fund equal to 6 months’ living expenses.
– Maintain a separate fund for LTCG tax impact of Rs. 7.45 lakhs.
– Don't keep it in equity or risky instruments.
– Use ultra-short or low duration fund for this.

? Tax Planning Insight for You Going Ahead

– Before taking exemption, always review lock-in and restriction period.
– Never buy second property within 2 years unless you're ready to pay tax.
– Document all property purchases and sales in a simple Excel sheet.
– Keep timelines and lock-in periods marked.
– This avoids surprises and ensures smooth tax planning.

Also, keep your CA and Certified Financial Planner in sync.
They must work as a team for your financial health.

? What Could Have Been Done Differently

– You could have waited beyond 2 years to buy second property.
– Or, you could have avoided claiming exemption initially.
– Then invested gains in active mutual funds and booked 10% tax.
– This could have kept your financial strategy more flexible.
– But yes, past cannot be changed. Let’s focus ahead.

You still have ample time to plan FY 2024-25 tax outflow.
You’ve also gained clarity from this experience. That itself is an asset.

? What Should Be Your Next Steps

– Set aside Rs. 7.45 lakhs for LTCG tax.
– Inform your CA in advance for FY 2024-25 tax projection.
– Avoid buying another residential property again for next few years.
– Reassess your long-term asset allocation.
– Avoid ULIPs, traditional LICs, direct funds and index funds.
– Stay focused on goal-based MF portfolio managed via MFD with CFP.

? Finally

You are thinking ahead and keeping track of taxation. That is highly appreciated.
You have acted with good intent. The tax law has its own constraints.
But this clarity now gives you the power to act wisely.
Take a few right steps today, and you can still stay fully on track.
Please don’t panic. The 10% rate is a relief in this scenario.
Keep your documents clean and your CA informed.

For your long-term wealth journey, stay with a Certified Financial Planner.
They will help you stay aligned to your goals, taxes and peace of mind.

Best Regards,
K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,
Chief Financial Planner,
www.holisticinvestment.in
https://www.youtube.com/@HolisticInvestment

...Read more

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