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Kanchan

Kanchan Rai  |597 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on May 27, 2024

Kanchan Rai has 10 years of experience in therapy, nurturing soft skills and leadership coaching. She is the founder of the Let Us Talk Foundation, which offers mindfulness workshops to help people stay emotionally and mentally healthy.
Rai has a degree in leadership development and customer centricity from Harvard Business School, Boston. She is an internationally certified coach from the International Coaching Federation, a global organisation in professional coaching.... more
Butterfly Question by Butterfly on May 27, 2024Hindi
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Relationship

Hey mam please help me. I was in a relationship with a boy but things didn't work out.we got separated. Now I am relationship with another boy. My ex came to know and he is tracking that new boy and my ex is also thinking to tell this to my mother. My parents are very strict plz help me

Ans: I understand how stressful and upsetting this situation must be for you. Dealing with an ex who is invading your privacy and threatening to tell your parents about your new relationship can be very challenging, especially if your parents are strict. Here’s how you can navigate this situation with care and tact.

First, consider addressing the issue directly with your ex. Choose a calm and private setting where you can talk without interruptions. Explain to him that your relationship has ended and that it is important for both of you to respect each other's new lives. You might say something like, "I understand that this situation is difficult for you, but I need you to respect my privacy and my current relationship. It's important for both of us to move on in a healthy way." Be firm but respectful, emphasizing the need for mutual respect and boundaries.

If your ex continues to intrude on your privacy, it may be necessary to take further steps. Document any instances of harassment or invasive behavior, as this can be important if the situation escalates. In some cases, you might need to consider blocking him on social media and other communication platforms to prevent further intrusion.

Regarding your parents, honesty, and preparation are key. If you believe there is a significant chance that your ex will contact them, it might be best to address the situation yourself first. Think about how you can explain your situation to them in a way that emphasizes your maturity and responsibility. You could say something like, "I want to talk to you about something important. I was in a relationship that didn't work out, and I've started seeing someone new. My ex might try to contact you, but I want you to hear this from me first."

Prepare for their reaction by considering their concerns and having thoughtful responses ready. Show them that you are making responsible decisions and that you are capable of handling your personal relationships. This approach can help demonstrate your maturity and hopefully lead to a more understanding response from them.

Finally, lean on your support system. Friends, trusted family members, or even a counselor can provide valuable advice and emotional support as you navigate this difficult situation. It's important not to go through this alone and to seek out those who can offer guidance and encouragement.

Remember, you have the right to move on and be happy in your new relationship. By addressing the issue head-on, maintaining your boundaries, and preparing for conversations with your parents, you can navigate this challenging time with strength and dignity.

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Anu

Anu Krishna  |1612 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Aug 14, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Aug 12, 2024Hindi
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Relationship
Hii mam my ex boyfriend is hacker i never seen him or meet him it was long distance relationship he had my lot of picture I like other guy and want to stay with him but that creep torture me every single day I'm feeling suicidel cuz of this mental pressure he said he'll send my intimate picture to my parents and other family member i don't know where he lives now does he look his exact contact number cuz he used fake number and all I'm so stressed mam please help me
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
You are bothered by a creep who you haven't even met?
Inform the police and the case will most likely be registered as a cyber bullying/harassment. (You can get more information from the cops on this). You do not need to know where he lives etc, just keep a trail of all communication that you have had with him intact as proof.
And hey, he was never your boyfriend and there was no relationship; you were not involved with someone that you have not seen or met. This is real life and not some fiction story...So, get real, shake yourself from this great 'involvement' theory. He is a person who possibly is used to threatening and blackmailing women/girls...Simply go to the police with all the proof and let them do their job. Now is the time to be brave and stand up for yourself...

This should become a lesson to you that you DO NOT share private information with anyone over the net, chats or any other electronic media...

All the best!
Anu Krishna
Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
Drop in: www.unfear.io
Reach me: Facebook: anukrish07/ AND LinkedIn: anukrishna-joyofserving/

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Anu

Anu Krishna  |1612 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Sep 22, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Sep 18, 2024Hindi
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Money
Hello mam, in the school days I loved a boy which was for 8 years relationship and unfortunately we broke up.. again after some days i was in the love with another guy he tortured me so bad. These two love stories know to my parents. When I told about second person they reacted very badly and they said that they would kill that boy . But now I wanted to marry the first boy which was of 8 years relationship. My parents are very serious about it and they are trying to get matches for me. How can I tell this matter to them?. What if they threaten to kill us? I know I made a mistake but it was so unfortunate. In my whole family no one is supportive to me..
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
How old are you now?
And just to protect you, your family will find it hard supporting you on this decision.
How is your relationship with the first boy now? Is he aware of your second relationship? Does the first boy also want to be married to you?
There was a reason why the two of you had broken up, has that reason now been eliminated?
All these questions must be answered before you make a decision to marry the first boy and only after that can you have an sort of debate with your parents on the decision. Obviously, they are concerned for you and what you have gone through and hence feel that who they choose for you will be the best for you...
So, to have them on your side, you need to work on the above questions and also make sure that you have a future with the boy and that you can take care of yourself. This involves a lot of work...

All the best!
Anu Krishna
Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
Drop in: www.unfear.io
Reach me: Facebook: anukrish07/ AND LinkedIn: anukrishna-joyofserving/

..Read more

Anu

Anu Krishna  |1612 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Nov 19, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Nov 12, 2024Hindi
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Relationship
I'm in a happy relationship with my boyfriend since 1.5 years. Before meeting him I had a relationship of around1.3 years(he cheated on me) and my mother got to know about it when she saw me crying and i end up telling her about my relationship(now ex). So I just need advice, should I tell my current boyfriend that my mother know about my ex? Now My mother somehow almost got to know about my current relationship also and i have told about this to my boyfriend but should I tell him that she knows about my past also.? Would he be okay with it or he will get upset about it that i haven't told him about this prior?
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
How will it matter if your boyfriend knows about your mother being in the know about your past relationship?
Why will he be bothered by it? I just don't understand why this is an issue of you or anyone?

Your words:
i have told about this to my boyfriend but should I tell him that she knows about my past also.
My thoughts:
What will this do if you tell him that she knows about your past?

Your words:
Would he be okay with it or he will get upset about it that i haven't told him about this prior?
My thoughts:
Maybe you should tell him about your past and not worry that he should know that your mother knows about your past

I still feel what you actually want to ask me is not very clear to you; be honest with yourself so that when you ask your question you will be able to get better guidance from me...

All the best!
Anu Krishna
Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
Drop in: www.unfear.io
Reach me: Facebook: anukrish07/ AND LinkedIn: anukrishna-joyofserving/

..Read more

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Nayagam P

Nayagam P P  |5507 Answers  |Ask -

Career Counsellor - Answered on May 30, 2025

Career
I'm getting CSE Core at JSS University , CSE with Cyber Security at JIIT , CSE core in VIT Bhopal in category 2, and CSE Core in ABESIT. Which one should i choose?
Ans: VIT Bhopal’s Computer Science and Engineering (CSE) program offers a centralized placement system shared with VIT Vellore, attracting top recruiters like Microsoft, Amazon, TCS, and Infosys. While placements vary, 70–90% of CSE students secure roles, with internships at firms like Google, Adobe, and JP Morgan integrated into the curriculum. The campus features modern infrastructure, including advanced labs (IoT, AI/ML, Gaming Studio), Wi-Fi-enabled hostels, and a 600-seat auditorium, though sports facilities remain under development. Faculty members hold doctorate qualifications and emphasize industry-aligned learning, though some students report inconsistent academic support. The remote location (Bhopal-Indore highway) limits urban amenities but provides a serene, security-focused environment. Campus life includes tech clubs, hackathons, and festivals, though social activities are less vibrant compared to older VIT campuses. While CSE specializations (AI/ML, Cybersecurity) are well-structured, competition for core roles is intense, requiring students to maintain strong academic performance. Prospective students should weigh the centralized placement opportunities against the evolving campus infrastructure and location constraints. Prioritize JSS Mysore for balanced academics and placements, followed by JIIT Noida for specialization options. VIT Bhopal is ideal for brand-driven opportunities, while ABESIT serves as a pragmatic backup. All the BEST for your Admission & Prosperous Future!

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Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |8608 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on May 30, 2025

Money
sir, am 26 year old and have some SIPs for Rs 1000 each. 1. QUANT SMALL CAP FUND DIRECT 2. NIPPON INDIA LARGE CAP DIRECT 3. MIRAE ASSEST ELSS TAX SAVER 4. UTI NIFTY 50 5. PARAG PARIKH FLEXI CAP 6. TATA MIDCAP GROWTH DIRECT 7. TATA SMALL CAP DIRECT my question is, these are good SIPs for next 10-15 years ? second is i want to invest 10000 more per month, please let me know which SIPs will be good for next 15 years. Thanks
Ans: At age 26, it is appreciable that you have started investing early.

It shows responsibility towards your future financial goals.

Your current SIPs are diversified across multiple categories.

But some of these SIPs may not be aligned well for long-term consistency.

Let us now review each one professionally.

1. Quant Small Cap Fund - Direct

Small caps can be volatile.

This fund is aggressive and high-risk.

Direct plans have no guidance or monitoring.

This may affect long-term performance.

Switching to a regular plan with a Certified Financial Planner is better.

This will ensure proper guidance and rebalancing.

2. Nippon India Large Cap - Direct

Large caps offer stability in a portfolio.

However, this fund’s long-term consistency is not very strong.

Also, direct plans lack expert monitoring.

A regular plan through a CFP ensures better handholding.

Tracking and performance review becomes easier.

3. Mirae Asset ELSS Tax Saver

This fund is decent for tax saving.

It is diversified and has shown fair returns.

However, regular review is still needed.

A regular plan helps with documentation and timely alerts.

Switching to regular mode can be beneficial in the long run.

4. UTI Nifty 50 - Direct

This is an index fund.

Index funds only mirror the market.

They do not aim to beat the market.

They lack human intelligence and flexibility.

They don’t perform well during corrections or sideways markets.

Actively managed funds have higher potential.

They can outperform in changing market situations.

Consider replacing this with a well-managed large cap fund.

In regular plan through CFP, you get guided fund selection.

5. Parag Parikh Flexi Cap

Flexi cap funds provide flexibility across market segments.

This fund has been popular recently.

But it has higher exposure to international stocks.

This brings currency risk and regulatory risks.

Also, it may overlap with other holdings.

You should regularly monitor for overlap and concentration.

Again, direct mode has no professional review.

6. Tata Midcap Growth - Direct

Midcaps are good for long-term.

But they need close tracking due to higher volatility.

A regular plan with expert guidance is ideal.

Direct mode will not help during market correction periods.

Switching to regular mode will ensure ongoing support.

7. Tata Small Cap - Direct

Small caps are risky in short to medium term.

This should not be your core holding.

Should be allocated only with close guidance.

Again, direct plans can go off-track without support.

If unmanaged, can bring portfolio imbalance.

Assessment of Direct Funds: Key Concerns

Direct funds may look cheaper in expense.

But they lack professional support and review.

There is no monitoring of changes in fund quality.

You may miss timely exits and rebalancing.

A Certified Financial Planner guides with logic and analysis.

They also help align your funds with your goals.

Regular plans have MFD support and rebalancing discipline.

They protect from behavioural mistakes during market volatility.

Overall, regular funds with expert guidance bring higher net value.

What Can Be Done with Your Existing SIPs?

You can consider the following changes:

Discontinue index fund (UTI Nifty 50) SIP.

   

Reduce exposure to direct small and midcap funds.

   

Switch from direct plans to regular plans via a Certified Financial Planner.

   

Ensure SIPs are part of a professionally constructed portfolio.

   

Ensure proper asset allocation, fund category balancing and tax efficiency.

   

New SIP of Rs 10,000 per Month – Suggestions

For your new Rs 10,000 monthly SIP, here is a 360-degree plan:

Allocate across diversified categories.

   

Ensure each fund has low overlap and different market focus.

   

Invest in 3 to 4 funds max.

   

All in regular mode with CFP-led support.

   

Avoid index funds, as they only match market returns.

   

Go for actively managed funds with proven history.

   

Include large-cap, mid-cap and flexi-cap mix.

   

Monitor quarterly with your Certified Financial Planner.

   

Additional Guidance for 15-Year Wealth Building

At 26, your time horizon is excellent.

But long-term wealth creation needs more than just SIPs.

It needs strategy and discipline.

Below are key steps for a full-circle approach:

Set clear financial goals: Home, car, retirement, child education etc.

   

Link SIPs to each goal separately.

   

Keep emergency fund in place (6 months expenses).

   

Get sufficient life and health insurance (pure protection plans).

   

Avoid investment-cum-insurance products.

   

They give low returns and poor insurance.

   

Do not mix insurance with investment.

   

Track your SIP performance annually.

   

Rebalance if some funds underperform.

   

Maintain asset allocation: Equity, Debt and Liquid.

   

Avoid emotional reactions during market dips.

   

Stay invested with guidance from your CFP.

   

Be aware of taxation rules on equity and debt funds.

   

LTCG on equity above Rs 1.25 lakh is taxed at 12.5%.

   

STCG on equity is taxed at 20%.

   

Debt fund gains are taxed as per income slab.

   

Regular plan MFD and CFP helps with all tax planning.

   

What Not to Do in the Next 15 Years

Don’t invest in index funds.

   

They lack active strategy.

   

Don’t choose funds by past returns only.

   

Don’t use direct funds without financial expertise.

   

Don’t invest in real estate for returns.

   

Don’t invest in annuity products for retirement.

   

Don’t mix investment and insurance.

   

Don’t make decisions based on short-term news or noise.

   

Don’t stop SIPs during market corrections.

   

Role of a Certified Financial Planner

A Certified Financial Planner helps you:

Set goals based on life stages.

   

Create custom SIP and lump sum plans.

   

Select the best active funds for your goals.

   

Rebalance annually to stay on track.

   

Plan taxes as per latest rules.

   

Protect wealth with right insurances.

   

Build retirement with strategic planning.

   

Create a total financial blueprint for life.

   

Keep emotions out of financial decisions.

   

Final Insights

You have taken a great step by starting early.

But choosing the right funds is key.

More important is monitoring them regularly.

Direct plans lack this important support.

Switching to regular plans under CFP brings value.

Also, add Rs 10,000 new SIP with proper strategy.

Don’t follow trends.

Stay committed and review annually.

Avoid overlapping funds and unnecessary risks.

Have a complete financial roadmap in place.

You are building your future.

Make each rupee work with expert guidance.

This 360-degree approach will lead to better outcomes.

You will be financially secure and confident.

Take the next steps with clarity and care.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in
https://www.youtube.com/@HolisticInvestment

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Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |8608 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on May 30, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - May 30, 2025
Money
Dear Sir I had ancestral property at native place which fetch 14K Rent monthly...Property is 40Years old.. Will it be good If I sell that property for 70Lakh and keep that money in Balanced fund or in NPS account
Ans: You are thinking wisely about your assets.

Let’s look at this from a 360-degree perspective.

Rental Income vs Sale Value

The property gives you Rs. 14,000 monthly rent.

That is Rs. 1.68 lakhs per year.

Over 10 years, you may earn Rs. 16 to 18 lakhs from rent.

Maintenance cost, property tax, and repairs will reduce this further.

Also, a 40-year-old property needs more upkeep.

Its resale value may not grow much more from here.

Selling now for Rs. 70 lakhs gives you full value in hand.

You can use that money in better investment options.

Emotional Value vs Financial Value

Being ancestral property, emotions may be attached.

But emotional value won’t solve financial needs.

If the property is not well located or not appreciating well, selling is practical.

You can honour the legacy in other ways.

Should You Invest in NPS?

NPS is a retirement tool with lock-in till age 60.

You can’t withdraw freely.

It is good for building a pension corpus.

But not suitable if you want liquidity or flexibility.

Once you invest, you cannot move the funds easily.

Also, returns are not consistent. Depends on market and fund manager.

Use NPS only for a part of your funds if your retirement goal is clear.

Should You Put in Balanced Funds?

Balanced funds (also called hybrid funds) invest in both equity and debt.

They are good for moderate risk and stable returns.

Suitable for long-term goals like retirement, child's education, or financial freedom.

They give better return than traditional options.

But don’t invest in direct plans.

Direct funds don’t guide during volatility.

Regular plans through MFD with CFP support are better.

You get timely advice and fund switching support.

Active fund managers make strategy changes.

Index funds or passive options don’t do that.

Actively managed balanced funds are better for Indian investors.

What You Should Do Now

Sell the property if there’s no growth and rising maintenance.

Use part of the Rs. 70 lakhs to reduce any high-interest debt.

Keep 6 to 12 months of expenses as emergency fund in liquid mutual fund.

Invest the rest through SIP and STP in regular hybrid funds.

Plan your financial goals with a Certified Financial Planner.

For retirement, use mutual funds along with PPF and EPF.

Use NPS for small part only, due to lack of liquidity.

Tax Impact You Should Know

On sale, capital gains tax will apply.

Since it's ancestral property, indexed cost and holding period matter.

Tax can be planned using capital gain bonds or reinvestment.

Don’t keep all money in savings account. Plan it step-by-step.

A Suggested Allocation Strategy (Not Specific Schemes)

Rs. 10 to 15 lakhs – emergency and contingency in liquid or short-term fund.

Rs. 40 to 45 lakhs – invest gradually in hybrid and multicap mutual funds.

Rs. 10 lakhs – use for NPS only if you have no urgent needs till age 60.

Avoid direct funds, index funds, or annuity options.

Use regular funds via MFD under CFP guidance.

Final Insights

Selling old property and investing is a progressive step.

You are unlocking stuck value into a growing asset.

Old assets slow down your money’s growth.

Balanced mutual funds help you grow with moderate risk.

NPS gives tax benefit but lacks flexibility.

Don’t invest entire money in NPS. Use mix of better tools.

Avoid emotional attachment if the property is non-performing.

Turn this decision into a lifetime opportunity.

Your wealth deserves active planning, not passive holding.

Take support from a Certified Financial Planner to execute wisely.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in
https://www.youtube.com/@HolisticInvestment

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Dr Upneet

Dr Upneet Kaur  |40 Answers  |Ask -

Marriage counsellor - Answered on May 30, 2025

Nayagam P

Nayagam P P  |5507 Answers  |Ask -

Career Counsellor - Answered on May 30, 2025

Career
I have 142 marks in MET and 76% in boards. Is it possible for me to get in CSE ( or any specialization like AI/ML or financial technology ) at the main campus? If not should I go for Bengluru campus?
Ans: Sneh, With 142 MET marks (expected rank ~2,001–4,500) and 76% in boards, admission to CSE, AI/ML, or Financial Technology at MIT Manipal (main campus) is unlikely, as the 2024 closing ranks for these branches were CSE: 1,633, AI/ML: 2,255, and Financial Tech: 3,189. However, MIT Bengaluru offers viable alternatives, with 2024 cutoffs of CSE: 5,687, AI/ML: 7,244, and Financial Tech: 9,116, all within your rank range. While the main campus remains competitive, Bengaluru provides comparable academic rigor and industry exposure, albeit with marginally lower placement averages. During MET counselling, prioritize CSE at Bengaluru or specialized branches like AI/ML/Financial Tech as achievable options. If preferring Manipal, explore non-CSE branches (e.g., IT, Electronics) with lower cutoffs (~4,500–5,148) or monitor spot rounds for potential vacancies. Your board percentage meets the eligibility criteria (50% PCM), so strategically rank preferences during counselling to optimize admission prospects. Bengaluru serves as a strong backup with aligned opportunities, ensuring a balance between campus reputation and program accessibility.

All the BEST for your Admission & Prosperous Future!

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