Home > Relationship > Question
Need Expert Advice?Our Gurus Can Help
Kanchan

Kanchan Rai  |415 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on May 27, 2024

Kanchan Rai has 10 years of experience in therapy, nurturing soft skills and leadership coaching. She is the founder of the Let Us Talk Foundation, which offers mindfulness workshops to help people stay emotionally and mentally healthy.
Rai has a degree in leadership development and customer centricity from Harvard Business School, Boston. She is an internationally certified coach from the International Coaching Federation, a global organisation in professional coaching.... more
Butterfly Question by Butterfly on May 27, 2024Hindi
Listen
Relationship

Hey mam please help me. I was in a relationship with a boy but things didn't work out.we got separated. Now I am relationship with another boy. My ex came to know and he is tracking that new boy and my ex is also thinking to tell this to my mother. My parents are very strict plz help me

Ans: I understand how stressful and upsetting this situation must be for you. Dealing with an ex who is invading your privacy and threatening to tell your parents about your new relationship can be very challenging, especially if your parents are strict. Here’s how you can navigate this situation with care and tact.

First, consider addressing the issue directly with your ex. Choose a calm and private setting where you can talk without interruptions. Explain to him that your relationship has ended and that it is important for both of you to respect each other's new lives. You might say something like, "I understand that this situation is difficult for you, but I need you to respect my privacy and my current relationship. It's important for both of us to move on in a healthy way." Be firm but respectful, emphasizing the need for mutual respect and boundaries.

If your ex continues to intrude on your privacy, it may be necessary to take further steps. Document any instances of harassment or invasive behavior, as this can be important if the situation escalates. In some cases, you might need to consider blocking him on social media and other communication platforms to prevent further intrusion.

Regarding your parents, honesty, and preparation are key. If you believe there is a significant chance that your ex will contact them, it might be best to address the situation yourself first. Think about how you can explain your situation to them in a way that emphasizes your maturity and responsibility. You could say something like, "I want to talk to you about something important. I was in a relationship that didn't work out, and I've started seeing someone new. My ex might try to contact you, but I want you to hear this from me first."

Prepare for their reaction by considering their concerns and having thoughtful responses ready. Show them that you are making responsible decisions and that you are capable of handling your personal relationships. This approach can help demonstrate your maturity and hopefully lead to a more understanding response from them.

Finally, lean on your support system. Friends, trusted family members, or even a counselor can provide valuable advice and emotional support as you navigate this difficult situation. It's important not to go through this alone and to seek out those who can offer guidance and encouragement.

Remember, you have the right to move on and be happy in your new relationship. By addressing the issue head-on, maintaining your boundaries, and preparing for conversations with your parents, you can navigate this challenging time with strength and dignity.

You may like to see similar questions and answers below

Anu

Anu Krishna  |1332 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Aug 14, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Aug 12, 2024Hindi
Listen
Relationship
Hii mam my ex boyfriend is hacker i never seen him or meet him it was long distance relationship he had my lot of picture I like other guy and want to stay with him but that creep torture me every single day I'm feeling suicidel cuz of this mental pressure he said he'll send my intimate picture to my parents and other family member i don't know where he lives now does he look his exact contact number cuz he used fake number and all I'm so stressed mam please help me
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
You are bothered by a creep who you haven't even met?
Inform the police and the case will most likely be registered as a cyber bullying/harassment. (You can get more information from the cops on this). You do not need to know where he lives etc, just keep a trail of all communication that you have had with him intact as proof.
And hey, he was never your boyfriend and there was no relationship; you were not involved with someone that you have not seen or met. This is real life and not some fiction story...So, get real, shake yourself from this great 'involvement' theory. He is a person who possibly is used to threatening and blackmailing women/girls...Simply go to the police with all the proof and let them do their job. Now is the time to be brave and stand up for yourself...

This should become a lesson to you that you DO NOT share private information with anyone over the net, chats or any other electronic media...

All the best!
Anu Krishna
Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
Drop in: www.unfear.io
Reach me: Facebook: anukrish07/ AND LinkedIn: anukrishna-joyofserving/

..Read more

Anu

Anu Krishna  |1332 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Sep 22, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Sep 18, 2024Hindi
Listen
Money
Hello mam, in the school days I loved a boy which was for 8 years relationship and unfortunately we broke up.. again after some days i was in the love with another guy he tortured me so bad. These two love stories know to my parents. When I told about second person they reacted very badly and they said that they would kill that boy . But now I wanted to marry the first boy which was of 8 years relationship. My parents are very serious about it and they are trying to get matches for me. How can I tell this matter to them?. What if they threaten to kill us? I know I made a mistake but it was so unfortunate. In my whole family no one is supportive to me..
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
How old are you now?
And just to protect you, your family will find it hard supporting you on this decision.
How is your relationship with the first boy now? Is he aware of your second relationship? Does the first boy also want to be married to you?
There was a reason why the two of you had broken up, has that reason now been eliminated?
All these questions must be answered before you make a decision to marry the first boy and only after that can you have an sort of debate with your parents on the decision. Obviously, they are concerned for you and what you have gone through and hence feel that who they choose for you will be the best for you...
So, to have them on your side, you need to work on the above questions and also make sure that you have a future with the boy and that you can take care of yourself. This involves a lot of work...

All the best!
Anu Krishna
Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
Drop in: www.unfear.io
Reach me: Facebook: anukrish07/ AND LinkedIn: anukrishna-joyofserving/

..Read more

Anu

Anu Krishna  |1332 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Nov 19, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Nov 12, 2024Hindi
Listen
Relationship
I'm in a happy relationship with my boyfriend since 1.5 years. Before meeting him I had a relationship of around1.3 years(he cheated on me) and my mother got to know about it when she saw me crying and i end up telling her about my relationship(now ex). So I just need advice, should I tell my current boyfriend that my mother know about my ex? Now My mother somehow almost got to know about my current relationship also and i have told about this to my boyfriend but should I tell him that she knows about my past also.? Would he be okay with it or he will get upset about it that i haven't told him about this prior?
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
How will it matter if your boyfriend knows about your mother being in the know about your past relationship?
Why will he be bothered by it? I just don't understand why this is an issue of you or anyone?

Your words:
i have told about this to my boyfriend but should I tell him that she knows about my past also.
My thoughts:
What will this do if you tell him that she knows about your past?

Your words:
Would he be okay with it or he will get upset about it that i haven't told him about this prior?
My thoughts:
Maybe you should tell him about your past and not worry that he should know that your mother knows about your past

I still feel what you actually want to ask me is not very clear to you; be honest with yourself so that when you ask your question you will be able to get better guidance from me...

All the best!
Anu Krishna
Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
Drop in: www.unfear.io
Reach me: Facebook: anukrish07/ AND LinkedIn: anukrishna-joyofserving/

..Read more

Latest Questions
Nayagam P

Nayagam P P  |3942 Answers  |Ask -

Career Counsellor - Answered on Nov 28, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Nov 21, 2024Hindi
Listen
Career
I am currently in 1 year CSE at NIT Warangal, please suggest me some additional courses with which I can improve my skills and get a good placement
Ans: As an initial step, please conduct research on the companies that have visited NIT-W for campus recruitment over the past 2-3 years. Review the websites of each company to familiarize yourself with the products and services they offer.
From this information, you will be able to discern the skills anticipated by each organization. Please document all necessary skills. Identify the skills that are commonly sought after by recruiters and companies. The senior students and faculty members of your institute in their fourth year will be available to assist you with this matter.
Upon reviewing the skills identified and those recommended by your Senior Students and Faculty, you will be positioned to finalize the Certifications you intend to pursue. Below are some recommended certification courses you may consider pursuing, contingent upon feedback from your senior students and faculty in the CSE Department: Programming Foundations, Data Structures and Algorithms (DSA), Web Development, App Development, Competitive Programming, Machine Learning and AI, Cybersecurity, Cloud Computing, and Blockchain. Acquire proficiency in programming languages such as C, C++, Python, and Java. Engage in practice through platforms like freeCodeCamp, HackRank, and CodeChef. Explore Python libraries including NumPy, Pandas, and TensorFlow, as well as delve into ethical hacking, network security, AWS, Microsoft Azure, and Google Cloud. All the BEST for Your Prosperous Future.

Follow RediffGURUS to Know More on ‘Jobs | Education | Careers’.

...Read more

Nayagam P

Nayagam P P  |3942 Answers  |Ask -

Career Counsellor - Answered on Nov 28, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Sep 26, 2024Hindi
Listen
Career
Hi sir, I am worked 5 years in company and resigned, company given me FnF and not giving me 2 Months incentive they saying company will not give incentive left employees and they also not giving fnf break up, please help me what should I do now
Ans: If your employer declines to offer you incentives and a comprehensive Full and Final settlement breakdown, there are various steps you can consider taking. Begin by examining your employment documents, such as the letter of appointment, HR regulations, and any relevant communications. If you do not receive a satisfactory response, consider sending a formal email or letter to management or HR, outlining your reasons for declining the reward. If HR fails to respond, consider escalating the issue to higher management, such as the department head, CFO, or CEO. These approaches enhance the chances of resolving the issue in a friendly manner. Based on my experience in HR, I recommend that you AVOID approaching the Labour Department or Labour Court solely for your 2 months' incentives. It is advisable to proceed and explore other job opportunities after obtaining the Experience Certificate from your previous employer. If you adhere to the legal avenues, it may only create a negative perception of you, even if you are not at fault. Many companies, after hiring candidates, perform background checks with their previous employers, which could result in complications if you decide to approach the Labour Court. All the BEST for Your Prosperous Future. Follow RediffGURUS to Know More on ‘Jobs | Education | Careers’.

...Read more

Anu

Anu Krishna  |1332 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Nov 28, 2024

Listen
Relationship
Dear Mam I am a fifty year old man with a loving family. I was employed in a company which I left earlier. During COVID I was little stressed in another company on my job and I rejoined my earlier company. One of my female colleague who was in the earlier organisation during my first innings helped me to join the organisation and in my second innings we are the only two in the department. Naturally there are lots of conversations, communications, interactions related to work. She is around nine years younger than me and is unmarried. We used to share lots of moments in office like common topics, health, my family, friends, her parents, friends etc...apart from work. Gradually I started developing feelings for her. I have a notion that she also developed the same. There has neither been any physical intimacy nor joint outings outside office. But as you know both of us started to realise that I cannot sail in two boats at the same time and also she. We both share a very professional relation amongst us in the Office with boundaries and caution and rarely interact on issues other than office work. We still are the two in our department. Somehow I cannot delete the feelings for her from my mind and its more difficult as we are the only persons in our department and in constant touch for work But yes, I will never be able to leave my family. Please advise. Thanks and Regards,
Ans: Dear Rupannita,
You can't keep one leg at home and another in another place and expect both to work the way that you want.
You are attached to the family and that's the place you are going to feel happy as well. So, all these feelings for the other person; do evaluate what it's going to do to your peace of mind.
Feelings cannot be deleted as you said BUT whether you want to act on those feelings is a choice that you must make. See where your life moves hanging onto a parallel life!

All the best!
Anu Krishna
Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
Drop in: www.unfear.io
Reach me: Facebook: anukrish07/ AND LinkedIn: anukrishna-joyofserving/

...Read more

Dr Dipankar

Dr Dipankar Dutta  |709 Answers  |Ask -

Tech Careers and Skill Development Expert - Answered on Nov 28, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Nov 27, 2024Hindi
Listen
Nayagam P

Nayagam P P  |3942 Answers  |Ask -

Career Counsellor - Answered on Nov 28, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Sep 29, 2024Hindi
Listen
Career
Hello I am a 40 year old unmarried male. I did my graduation in Hotel management and passed out in the year 2006. After that i worked in few hotels in India and intrest of work in operations of hotel fizzled out. I sat idle doing nothing for a year or so and den helped my dad with his business that we had. In 2009 i did my MBA marketing from a Pune university college and passed out in 2011. Due to my hotel mgmt background i started working in five star hotel marketing department after passing out my MBA marketing. I got the hotel marketing job in Nov 2011. I worked in the same hotel till April 2014 after which i got an apportunity to work with big corporate hospital in the corporate marketing department. I worked there till 2018 after which i got a opportunity to work in a bigger corporate hospital in a different city in the marketing department. I worked there till Sept 2022, after which i was forced to take a break from work coz needed to take care of my ailing mother who underwent a Liver transplant. I was forced to take a break of around one year and months and i did nothing but took care of my mothers health. In the meanwhile i also lost my father in Road accident. My mother is fine now and its been one year and four months after the Liver Transplant. I have again started working in the hospital that i use to work before in the same marketing department. No other hospitals were ready to take me in coz the gap tht i had in my career. I have started working since July 2024. Now i feel tht i have already lost a lot of ground in terms of my carrier. I feel tht i am not well paid. All my life i have been bullied a lot hence i have self confidence issues. I feel coz of the nature of my job and less salary that is 9 lakhs per annum i am not getting any proper marriage proposals. I have not able to save anything in my life coz all my life i hav only worked and spent all my money on others. I also feel tht compared to others i lag in knowlege as well. Self confidence is the biggest problem. I want to grow now in my career and improve my personality now. I want you to guide in regards with the career as well and also means to improve my overall life. I want someone to talk to who would help and be guide at this moment of my life. Can someone of you make time and i can talk to them, so tht i could get direction in life. Right now emotionally, mentally and i feel physically also have hit my rock bottom.
Ans: I applaud your treatment and story-sharing bravery. You've surmounted terrible odds, and your progress is admirable. Simplify and construct a career and personal plan. You Grow Career: You have varied hotel and hospital marketing. You may feel behind, but your experience is valuable. The next step? Digital, healthcare, and data analytics credentials improve marketing skills. LinkedIn Learning, Coursera, and Google provide affordable, flexible courses. Return to industry professional networks. Attend hospital marketing events and webinars to network with mentors and employers. Healthcare Marketing is popular. To stand out, focus on patient involvement, brand strategy, or digital efforts. Better Choices: Pharma, health tech, and healthcare marketing occupations pay more. Showcase your suffering and perseverance. Startups and medical device companies value adaptable marketing.
Financial safety: Budgeting: Save on a strict budget. Even a small monthly savings can provide stability. Set aside 3-6 months of living expenditures for emergencies.
Think about low-risk investments like mutual funds or term deposits to grow your savings.

Rebuild your self-confidence step-by-step:
Personal Development: To overcome bullying and regain self-worth, see a psychologist. Grateful: Celebrate small victories daily. Gain long-term self-esteem. To boost energy and confidence, walk, perform yoga, or go to the gym. Stress reduction and resilience can be achieved with Calm and Headspace meditation applications. Online or local career transition support groups can provide social and emotional help. Others' tales inspire.
Marriage proposals: If you are emotionally ready, willing to grow, and honest with your partner, you should be married at 40, even with a low salary. How you grow together is key to many successful partnerships. You need someone who values you for who you are, not simply your salary. Befriend Positive Friends and Coworkers. Instant Actions: Ask local Career Coaches and mentors for unique advice. Update LinkedIn, Resume: Emphasize career accomplishments. Encourage resilience and accountability during your break.
Goals: Set 3-6 month and 1-2 year career and personal improvement goals.
Getting past personal issues demonstrates strength. Returning to work shows resilience. Success is nonlinear and takes persistence. Choose small, daily acts that promote your goals. All the BEST for Your Prosperous Future.
Follow RediffGURUS to Know More on ‘Jobs | Education | Careers’.

...Read more

DISCLAIMER: The content of this post by the expert is the personal view of the rediffGURU. Investment in securities market are subject to market risks. Read all the related document carefully before investing. The securities quoted are for illustration only and are not recommendatory. Users are advised to pursue the information provided by the rediffGURU only as a source of information and as a point of reference and to rely on their own judgement when making a decision. RediffGURUS is an intermediary as per India's Information Technology Act.

Close  

You haven't logged in yet. To ask a question, Please Log in below
Login

A verification OTP will be sent to this
Mobile Number / Email

Enter OTP
A 6 digit code has been sent to

Resend OTP in120seconds

Dear User, You have not registered yet. Please register by filling the fields below to get expert answers from our Gurus
Sign up

By signing up, you agree to our
Terms & Conditions and Privacy Policy

Already have an account?

Enter OTP
A 6 digit code has been sent to Mobile

Resend OTP in120seconds

x