Hello mam I am really having trouble in my family right now I am like studying and also I go to academy and school I am 14 years old my father is forcing me to marry someone and that someone has has a nice job but I will love with someone who is in my academy and when I told my father about him he refused and said that there is no need to go in that Academy and I begged him to not do that and the person I am love with doesn't do a job and also is the same age as me so I told my father so many times that I don't want to marry that person because I am in love with someone else so how can a person marry someone who he doesn't even love I know my parents my father want the best for me but you know what I want to say

Ans: It's important to acknowledge the complexity of the situation and the depth of your emotions. In such circumstances, finding a balance between honoring your own feelings and respecting your family's concerns can be incredibly difficult.

First and foremost, your safety and well-being are paramount. Threats of harm, whether directed towards yourself or others, are never acceptable and should be taken seriously. If you ever feel physically or emotionally unsafe, it's crucial to prioritize your own protection and seek support from trusted friends, family, or authorities.

In terms of navigating your relationship with your parents, open communication and understanding can be key. Despite the challenges, expressing your feelings to them in a calm and respectful manner might help them better comprehend your perspective. Sharing your thoughts, desires, and the reasons behind your choice may help bridge the gap between your differing viewpoints.

However, it's essential to approach these conversations with realistic expectations. Changing deeply ingrained beliefs and societal expectations is a gradual process, and it's possible that your parents may not immediately come around to your point of view. In such cases, setting boundaries to protect your emotional well-being may be necessary. This could involve limiting contact or seeking support from external sources such as counselors or support groups.

Ultimately, the decision to run away or to continue trying to convince your parents depends on your individual circumstances and what you believe is best for your future. Take the time to reflect on your values, priorities, and long-term goals. Surround yourself with supportive individuals who can offer guidance and encouragement as you navigate this challenging situation. Remember, you have the right to pursue happiness and fulfillment in your life, even if it means diverging from traditional expectations.

Ans: Dear Anonymous,
Classic emotional blackmail...this is not new and I have seen this in many households. Your parents are not wrong from their point of view as they feel they will choose the best person for you. But obviously blackmailing you with consequences like your father will die etc is childish and immature...
You are an adult and know what you are doing. But also, take your parents into confidence by reassuring them that you know what's right for you. Eventually in due course of time, they will come around...They might not too...Don't stress over it as any relationship that you enter into if it is based on what your parents wish may not be the best for you...
It's not about them but they are making all this about them...turn the attention onto yourself by talking to them about your independent thoughts, financial independence and how the boy is right for you (if of course the boy is right for you).
Wait patiently till they turn over...make this attempt with baby steps without giving into fights or bouts of arguments!

All the best!
Anu Krishna
Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
Drop in: www.unfear.io
Reach me: Facebook: anukrish07/ AND LinkedIn: anukrishna-joyofserving/

Ans: Dear Preeti,
In almost most the questions that I receive on similar issues as yours, my suggestion has usually been: parents disagree due to certain beliefs that they have on culture, traditions, faith, financial status differences and so, actually talk to them about what actually is worrying them. That could be a start point for you.

Then of course, the reason as to why you chose this person cannot simply be: I like him and so...when you speak with your parents, they are going to need not just information but also a lot of reassurance as to why the boy is right one for you. Do ask you partner to step in to actually help in this situation with your parents. Let them get to know one another...You need to start somewhere to see what works and what does not and what absolutely will not! Then you can modify the manner in which you approach the situation; start somewhere...And oh, do not feel obligated to your parents and make decisions about your life. Instead know that they care for you and have done what parents do for their children.

All the best!
Anu Krishna
Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
Drop in: www.unfear.io
Reach me: Facebook: anukrish07/ AND LinkedIn: anukrishna-joyofserving/

Ans: Dear Niveditha,
What caught my eye was the fact that you seem to have found the love that parents give their children with this person. This is not healthy as you are searching for what you lack in someone else. Work on this...and if this is the reason that you actually are in love with this person, you really need to work it.
Now when it comes to your parents' acceptance, your partner has to put in efforts to win them over and on your part rather than playing this emotionally with them, make your parents see what you see in your partner in terms of traits, qualities etc...And the less you involve family members into this circus, the better. At times, people come to have their share of fun by making things worse...So, be wise about who you involve.

All the best!
Anu Krishna
Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
Drop in: www.unfear.io
Reach me: Facebook: anukrish07/ AND LinkedIn: anukrishna-joyofserving/

Ans: Dear Niveditha,
What can you do? Your family is still living under the rock. Your phone has been taken as well! There is no way for you to even consult with your boyfriend and sort the issue out, I guess.
The only thing I can think of is your safety and his at this point in time. You really need to think of what your family is doing; what are these threats? Are they for real?
If there's a way to communicate with your boyfriend, tell him to lay low for a while and you do the same. At times, giving slight rest to a problem can allow people around to become a bit calmer after which you can possibly talk to them and then come to a decision.

All the best!
Anu Krishna
Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
Drop in: www.unfear.io
Reach me: Facebook: anukrish07/ AND LinkedIn: anukrishna-joyofserving/