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Kanchan Rai |646 Answers |Ask -Follow

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Dec 09, 2024

Kanchan Rai has 10 years of experience in therapy, nurturing soft skills and leadership coaching. She is the founder of the Let Us Talk Foundation, which offers mindfulness workshops to help people stay emotionally and mentally healthy.
Rai has a degree in leadership development and customer centricity from Harvard Business School, Boston. She is an internationally certified coach from the International Coaching Federation, a global organisation in professional coaching.... more

Asked by Anonymous - Dec 08, 2024

Relationship

Hello mam I am really having trouble in my family right now I am like studying and also I go to academy and school I am 14 years old my father is forcing me to marry someone and that someone has has a nice job but I will love with someone who is in my academy and when I told my father about him he refused and said that there is no need to go in that Academy and I begged him to not do that and the person I am love with doesn't do a job and also is the same age as me so I told my father so many times that I don't want to marry that person because I am in love with someone else so how can a person marry someone who he doesn't even love I know my parents my father want the best for me but you know what I want to say

Ans: At 14, your focus should be on growing, learning, and discovering yourself. Marriage is a lifelong commitment that requires emotional maturity, stability, and readiness—things that naturally come with time. It’s okay to tell your father, calmly and firmly, that you’re not ready for marriage yet, regardless of who the person is. Try to express that your education and personal growth are priorities for you now, and marrying too young could prevent you from living the life you want in the future.

When it comes to the person you care about, those feelings are also important, but it’s worth remembering that both of you are still very young. Your emotions are real, but your focus on education and future goals should remain central for both of you right now. If this connection is meaningful, it can grow naturally over time without the rush or stress of marriage.

If speaking directly to your father feels too difficult, is there a trusted adult, family member, teacher, or counselor who can help you communicate your feelings? Sometimes having someone else explain your perspective can make all the difference.

Above all, you deserve to feel heard, respected, and supported in your choices. You’re not alone, and this is not a battle you have to fight by yourself. Take it one step at a time, and remember, your voice and dreams matter.

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Kanchan Rai |646 Answers |Ask -Follow

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on May 16, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - May 08, 2024Hindi

Relationship

Hi mam,I love a boy..We both are from different states.We both work as software engineers and earn well.I am 24 and he is 26.My parents were looking alliance for me so i told them ki I like a boy..From the day I have told them they have not even asked ny opinion .My mom just keeps on repeating your dad will die as he has high bp and diabetes..you will become fatherless..My dad says he will drink poison and kill me as well..he himself told me that his image in society is more important to him and no one has give me rights to marry a boy of my own choice..My parents keep on calling me to my home so that they can make me quit my job..even after telling that I love a boy my parents went behind my back and fixed a boy for me..they say that the boy they are looking for me will be perfect..pls suggest me what should i do ..should i run away or convince them

Ans: It's important to acknowledge the complexity of the situation and the depth of your emotions. In such circumstances, finding a balance between honoring your own feelings and respecting your family's concerns can be incredibly difficult.

First and foremost, your safety and well-being are paramount. Threats of harm, whether directed towards yourself or others, are never acceptable and should be taken seriously. If you ever feel physically or emotionally unsafe, it's crucial to prioritize your own protection and seek support from trusted friends, family, or authorities.

In terms of navigating your relationship with your parents, open communication and understanding can be key. Despite the challenges, expressing your feelings to them in a calm and respectful manner might help them better comprehend your perspective. Sharing your thoughts, desires, and the reasons behind your choice may help bridge the gap between your differing viewpoints.

However, it's essential to approach these conversations with realistic expectations. Changing deeply ingrained beliefs and societal expectations is a gradual process, and it's possible that your parents may not immediately come around to your point of view. In such cases, setting boundaries to protect your emotional well-being may be necessary. This could involve limiting contact or seeking support from external sources such as counselors or support groups.

Ultimately, the decision to run away or to continue trying to convince your parents depends on your individual circumstances and what you believe is best for your future. Take the time to reflect on your values, priorities, and long-term goals. Surround yourself with supportive individuals who can offer guidance and encouragement as you navigate this challenging situation. Remember, you have the right to pursue happiness and fulfillment in your life, even if it means diverging from traditional expectations.

Anu Krishna |1746 Answers |Ask -Follow

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on May 14, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - May 08, 2024Hindi

Relationship

Hi mam,I love a boy..We both are from different states.We both work as software engineers and earn well.I am 24 and he is 26.My parents were looking alliance for me so i told them ki I like a boy..From the day I have told them they have not even asked ny opinion .My mom just keeps on repeating your dad will die as he has high bp and diabetes..you will become fatherless..My dad says he will drink poison and kill me as well..he himself told me that his image in society is more important to him and no one has give me rights to marry a boy of my own choice..My parents keep on calling me to my home so that they can make me quit my job..even after telling that I love a boy my parents went behind my back and fixed a boy for me..they say that the boy they are looking for me will be perfect..now my dad is asing me to come home..pls suggest me what should i do ..should i run away or convince them

Ans: Dear Anonymous,
Classic emotional blackmail...this is not new and I have seen this in many households. Your parents are not wrong from their point of view as they feel they will choose the best person for you. But obviously blackmailing you with consequences like your father will die etc is childish and immature...
You are an adult and know what you are doing. But also, take your parents into confidence by reassuring them that you know what's right for you. Eventually in due course of time, they will come around...They might not too...Don't stress over it as any relationship that you enter into if it is based on what your parents wish may not be the best for you...
It's not about them but they are making all this about them...turn the attention onto yourself by talking to them about your independent thoughts, financial independence and how the boy is right for you (if of course the boy is right for you).
Wait patiently till they turn over...make this attempt with baby steps without giving into fights or bouts of arguments!

All the best!
Anu Krishna
Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
Drop in: www.unfear.io
Reach me: Facebook: anukrish07/ AND LinkedIn: anukrishna-joyofserving/

Anu Krishna |1746 Answers |Ask -Follow

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Oct 28, 2024

Question by Preeti - Oct 24, 2024Hindi

Relationship

Maam i am in relationship but my parents is not agree with them they are forcing me to do marriage with other but I can’t they have their mind set I can’t leave him also and can’t leave family also because today i am independent and earning because of them plz help me maam

Ans: Dear Preeti,
In almost most the questions that I receive on similar issues as yours, my suggestion has usually been: parents disagree due to certain beliefs that they have on culture, traditions, faith, financial status differences and so, actually talk to them about what actually is worrying them. That could be a start point for you.

Then of course, the reason as to why you chose this person cannot simply be: I like him and so...when you speak with your parents, they are going to need not just information but also a lot of reassurance as to why the boy is right one for you. Do ask you partner to step in to actually help in this situation with your parents. Let them get to know one another...You need to start somewhere to see what works and what does not and what absolutely will not! Then you can modify the manner in which you approach the situation; start somewhere...And oh, do not feel obligated to your parents and make decisions about your life. Instead know that they care for you and have done what parents do for their children.

All the best!
Anu Krishna
Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
Drop in: www.unfear.io
Reach me: Facebook: anukrish07/ AND LinkedIn: anukrishna-joyofserving/

Anu Krishna |1746 Answers |Ask -Follow

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Jan 20, 2025

Question by niveditha - Jan 19, 2025Hindi

Relationship

hi maam im in love with a guy who i met in hyd im 24 years nd he is 28 we both r in love with eachother and wanna marry eachother but the prblm is that i come from a christian family and he comes from a hindu family my mom is not ready to accept him just because he is a hindu and my family r forcing me to get married to a christian guy itself they r mentally forcing me everyday to leave him just because he is a hindu nd our caste is different my family seperated me from him and forcing me to get married to a guy of their choice and in my family there r 16 members who have had love marriages i took help of my relative who also had a love marriage to convince my parents and help us to get married but she is the one who add more fake rumors and more fuel about him that he is doing timepass even if they talk to him in calls they say that he is not lifting our calls at all i have all the recordings but still they r lying to me nd my mom saying that he is not ready to talk about her it became difficult for me to convince them my mom listen to my relatives as they say and so they do i dont have anyone to support me to get married to my bf plz help i wanna marry him only and i see future with him he is the only one who make me laugh play with me like how a dad plays with his daughter i havent got the love from my parents when im getting the love from him they seperated me from him and forcefully bought me to my native place nd not letting me meet or see him im depressed asking my parents to meet him but they r like no we dont like him my parents r not ready to understand and they r saying he is with u only for ur money he also told my relatives that i dont want money but still they r keeping on adding fuel and mentally harrasing me to get married to someone else they r forcefully trying to get me married to someone else i wanna marry him only what should i do plz help i love him so does he

Ans: Dear Niveditha,
What caught my eye was the fact that you seem to have found the love that parents give their children with this person. This is not healthy as you are searching for what you lack in someone else. Work on this...and if this is the reason that you actually are in love with this person, you really need to work it.
Now when it comes to your parents' acceptance, your partner has to put in efforts to win them over and on your part rather than playing this emotionally with them, make your parents see what you see in your partner in terms of traits, qualities etc...And the less you involve family members into this circus, the better. At times, people come to have their share of fun by making things worse...So, be wise about who you involve.

All the best!
Anu Krishna
Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
Drop in: www.unfear.io
Reach me: Facebook: anukrish07/ AND LinkedIn: anukrishna-joyofserving/

Anu Krishna |1746 Answers |Ask -Follow

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Jan 29, 2025

Question by niveditha - Jan 27, 2025

Relationship

hi maam im in love with a guy who i met in hyd im 24 nd he is 28 we wanna marry eachother and we love eachother alot maam he comes from a hindu family and i come from a christian family in my family there are 16 members who have had love marriages nd are happy in their respective lives but when it comes to me my parents and my family always force me to get married to a guy of their choice i have been dealing with all this since 1 year i took help of my relatives also who have had love marriages but no body is ready to listen to me and they r threatening to kill my boyfriend im not at all happy with all this situations maam im getting panic attacks nd not able to sleep peacefully at night my family r calling my bf nd threatening to kill him im crying begging pleading but no body is supporting me or listening to my words nd my entire family r brainwashing me to leave my bf and get married to a christian guy my mom always let my family get interfere in my personal and professional life and seperate me from my career nd my bf they did it maam now my mom and my family r not letting me focus on my career and my mom forcefully bought me to my native place nd took my mobile also nd not letting me see my bf meet him or talk to him and not letting me work and my parents nd my family are mentally harassing me everyday to leave my bf maam what should i do plz help

Ans: Dear Niveditha,
What can you do? Your family is still living under the rock. Your phone has been taken as well! There is no way for you to even consult with your boyfriend and sort the issue out, I guess.
The only thing I can think of is your safety and his at this point in time. You really need to think of what your family is doing; what are these threats? Are they for real?
If there's a way to communicate with your boyfriend, tell him to lay low for a while and you do the same. At times, giving slight rest to a problem can allow people around to become a bit calmer after which you can possibly talk to them and then come to a decision.

All the best!
Anu Krishna
Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
Drop in: www.unfear.io
Reach me: Facebook: anukrish07/ AND LinkedIn: anukrishna-joyofserving/

Latest Questions

Dr Dipankar Dutta |1841 Answers |Ask -Follow

Tech Careers and Skill Development Expert - Answered on Dec 14, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Dec 14, 2025Hindi

Career

Sir mene 2024 me inter pass kiya h or 2024 me jee mains or na hi jee advanced de paya but mene 2025 me jee mains or jee advanced diya h to kya 2026 me jee advanced de skta hu

Ans: Haan, aap 2026 me JEE Advanced de sakte ho

Nayagam P P |10854 Answers |Ask -Follow

Career Counsellor - Answered on Dec 14, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Dec 12, 2025Hindi

Career

Hello, I am currently in Class 12 and preparing for JEE. I have not yet completed even 50% of the syllabus properly, but I aim to score around '110' marks. Could you suggest an effective strategy to achieve this? I know the target is relatively low, but I have category reservation, so it should be sufficient.

Ans: With category reservation (SC/ST/OBC), a score of 110 marks is absolutely achievable and realistic. Based on 2025 data, SC candidates qualified with approximately 60-65 percentile, and ST candidates with 45-55 percentile. Your target requires scoring just 37-40% marks, which is significantly lower than general category standards. This gives you a genuine advantage. Immediate Action Plan (December 2025 - January 2026): 4-5 Weeks. Week 1-2: High-Weightage Chapter Focus. Stop trying to complete the entire syllabus. Instead, focus exclusively on high-scoring chapters that carry maximum weightage: Physics (Modern Physics, Current Electricity, Work-Power-Energy, Rotation, Magnetism), Chemistry (Chemical Bonding, Thermodynamics, Coordination Compounds, Electrochemistry), and Maths (Integration, Differentiation, Vectors, 3D Geometry, Probability). These chapters alone can yield 80-100+ marks if practiced properly. Ignore topics you haven't studied yet. Week 2-3: Previous Year Questions (PYQs). Solve JEE Main PYQs from the last 10 years (2015-2025) for chapters you're studying. PYQs reveal question patterns and difficulty levels. Focus on understanding why answers are correct, not memorizing solutions. Week 3-4: Mock Tests & Error Analysis. Take 2-3 full-length mock tests weekly under timed conditions. This is crucial because mock tests build exam confidence, reveal time management weaknesses, and error analysis prevents repeated mistakes. Maintain an error notebook documenting every mistake—this becomes your revision guide. Week 4-5: Revision & Formula Consolidation. Create concise formula sheets for each subject. Spend 30 minutes daily reviewing formulas and key concepts. Avoid learning new topics entirely at this stage. Study Schedule (Daily): 7-8 Hours. Morning (5:00-7:30 AM): Physics concepts + 30 PYQs. Break (7:30-8:30 AM): Breakfast & rest. Mid-morning (8:30-11:00): Chemistry concepts + 20 PYQs. Lunch (11:00-1:00 PM): Full break. Afternoon (1:00-3:30 PM): Maths concepts + 30 PYQs. Evening (3:30-5:00 PM): Mock test or error review. Night (7:00-9:00 PM): Formula revision & weak area focus. Strategic Approach for 110 Marks: Attempt only confident questions and avoid negative marking by skipping difficult questions. Do easy questions first—in the exam, attempt all basic-level questions before attempting medium or hard ones. Focus on quality over quantity as 30 well-practiced questions beat 100 random questions. Master NCERT concepts as most JEE questions test NCERT concepts applied smartly. April 2026 Session Advantage. If January doesn't deliver desired results, April gives you a second chance with 3+ months to prepare. Use January as a practice attempt to identify weak areas, then focus intensively on those in February-March. Realistic Timeline: January 2026 target is 95-110 marks (achievable with focused 50% syllabus), while April 2026 target is 120-130 marks (with complete syllabus + experience). Your reservation benefit means you need only approximately 90-105 marks to qualify and secure admission to quality engineering colleges. Stop comparing yourself to general category cutoffs. Most Importantly: Consistency beats perfection. Study 6 focused hours daily rather than 12 distracted hours. Your 110-mark target is realistic—execute this plan with discipline. All the BEST for Your JEE 2026!

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Radheshyam Zanwar |6744 Answers |Ask -Follow

MHT-CET, IIT-JEE, NEET-UG Expert - Answered on Dec 14, 2025

Question by Ashish - Dec 13, 2025Hindi

Career

Sir maine 2024 me 12 pass Kiya aur kya 75% se kam rah gaye to kya mai 2025 me nios ka exam dekar 75%+ jee mains de sakta hu jabki maine abhi koi attempt nahi diye jee mains ke aur advance me kitne attempt milenge sir

Ans: Your query has already been replied to you. Please copy and paste the following link in your browser to read it again - https://gurus.rediff.com/hi/question/qdtl/career/given-12th-xam-first-2024-unable-score-75-percentage-gave/5244427

Good luck.
Follow me if you receive this reply.
Radheshyam

Radheshyam Zanwar |6744 Answers |Ask -Follow

MHT-CET, IIT-JEE, NEET-UG Expert - Answered on Dec 14, 2025

Question by Ashish - Dec 13, 2025Hindi

Career

Sir namaste maine 2024 me12th pass Kiya aur 75% se kam marks aaye to kya 2026 me nios ka exam dekar jee mains de sakta hu aur jee advance me kitne attempt milenge

Ans: Your query has already been replied to you. Please copy and paste the following link in your browser to read it again - https://gurus.rediff.com/hi/question/qdtl/career/given-12th-xam-first-2024-unable-score-75-percentage-gave/5244427

Good luck.
Follow me if you receive this reply.
Radheshyam

Dr Dipankar Dutta |1841 Answers |Ask -Follow

Tech Careers and Skill Development Expert - Answered on Dec 14, 2025

Question by Rahul - Dec 14, 2025Hindi

Career

Sir I have registered for jee main january attempt as a general category student but now I have a ews catagory certificate..So can I apply this certificate in the jee main 2026 april attempt?

Ans: Yes — you can apply your EWS certificate in the JEE Main 2026 April attempt,

Dr Dipankar Dutta |1841 Answers |Ask -Follow

Tech Careers and Skill Development Expert - Answered on Dec 13, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Dec 12, 2025

Career

Dear Sir/Madam, I am currently a 1st year UG student studying engineering in Sairam Engineering College, But there the lack of exposure and strict academics feels so rigid and I don't like it that. It's like they don't gaf about skills but just wants us to memorize things and score a good CGPA, the only skill they want is you to memorize things and pass, there's even special class for students who don't perform well in academics and it is compulsory for them to attend or else the student and his/her parents needs to face authorities who lashes out. My question is when did engineering became something that requires good academics instead of actual learning and skill set. In sairam they provides us a coding platform in which we need to gain the required points for each semester which is ridiculous cuz most of the students here just look at the solution to code instead of actual debugging. I am passionate about engineering so I want to learn and experiment things instead of just memorizing, so I actually consider dropping out and I want to give jee a try and maybe viteee , srmjeee But i heard some people say SRM may provide exposure but not that good in placements. I may not be excellent at studies but my marks are decent. So gimme some insights about SRM and recommend me other colleges/universities which are good at exposure

Ans: First — your frustration is valid

What you are experiencing at Sairam is not engineering, it is rote-based credential production.

“When did engineering become memorizing instead of learning?”

Sadly, this shift happened decades ago in most Tier-3 private colleges in India.

About “coding platforms & points” – your observation is sharp

You are absolutely right:

Mandatory coding points → students copy solutions

Copying ≠ learning

Debugging & thinking are missing

This is pseudo-skill education — it looks modern but produces shallow engineers.

The fact that you noticed this in 1st year already puts you ahead of 80% students.

Should you DROP OUT and prepare for JEE / VITEEE / SRMJEEE?

Although VIT/SRM is better than Sairam Engineering College, but you may face the same problem. You will not face this type of problem only in some top IITs, but getting seat in those IITs will be difficult.
Instead of dropping immediately, consider:

???? Strategy:

Stay enrolled (degree security)

Reduce emotional investment in college rules

Use:

GitHub

Open-source projects

Hackathons

Internships (remote)

Hardware / software self-projects

This way:

College = formality

Learning = self-driven

Risk = minimal

Dr Dipankar Dutta |1841 Answers |Ask -Follow

Tech Careers and Skill Development Expert - Answered on Dec 13, 2025

Question by Ashish - Dec 13, 2025Hindi

Career

Namaste sir , maine 2024 me 12 pass Kiya aur mai 75% nahi la paya to kya mai 2026 me nios exam dekar jee mains de sakta hu aur jee advance ke liye kitne attempt milenge

Ans: JEE Main ke liye 12th pass hona hi kaafi hai, 75% criteria sirf NIT / IIT / IIIT / GFTI admission ke liye hota hai.

NIOS ek valid board hai (CBSE ke barabar maana jata hai).

Agar aap 2026 me NIOS se 12th pass kar lete ho, to:

Aap 2026, 2027, 2028 me JEE Main de sakte ho.

Mayank Chandel |2575 Answers |Ask -Follow

IIT-JEE, NEET-UG, SAT, CLAT, CA, CS Exam Expert - Answered on Dec 13, 2025

Question by Sudhir - Nov 18, 2025Hindi

Career

Hello My son will be completing his tenth this year and wish to appear for NEET. We reside at Andheri-Mumbai. Can you please suggest good coaching institutes for the same near by based on overall performance , teacher quality and process of coaching

Ans: Hello Sudhir Ji
it will be very difficult for me to suggest on this.

Radheshyam Zanwar |6744 Answers |Ask -Follow

MHT-CET, IIT-JEE, NEET-UG Expert - Answered on Dec 13, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Dec 13, 2025Hindi

Career

Mai bihar board se 10 or 12 kiya hu or jee main bhi diya mera cutoff clear nhi hua or 3 attempt khatam ho gya hai kya mai ab nios board se fir se 12 complete karke jee main or advanced de sakta hu koe problem hogi kya

Ans: Yes, you can complete 12th again from NIOS and appear for JEE Main, but JEE Advanced has age, attempt, and year-of-passing restrictions, so eligibility for JEE (Adv) may still be an issue.

Honest opinion & suggestion - Even after 3 failed trials, why are you running behind JEE? It would be better to appear for the state-level engineering examination. Get admission to your preferred college and branch. Complete your undergraduate degree. While pursuing UG, appear for GATE. Crack it. With a high score, you can get admission to PG @ IIT. The dream of IIT can be easily fulfilled via this route. There is no sense in appearing for JEE again, especially after completing 12th @ NIOS board. It is just a waste of time, money, and effort.

The final decision will be yours! Only I can suggest.

Good luck.
Follow me if you receive this reply.
Radheshyam

Mayank Chandel |2575 Answers |Ask -Follow

IIT-JEE, NEET-UG, SAT, CLAT, CA, CS Exam Expert - Answered on Dec 13, 2025

Question by Saroja - Dec 12, 2025Hindi

Career

My son has passed 12th board exam in the year 2024. Is he eligible to appear JEE Main in Jan or Apr 2027 ?

Ans: Hello Saroja
Student can appear JEE-Mains for three years starting from his 12th appeared year. So the answer for your is NO.

See more questions »

DISCLAIMER: The content of this post by the expert is the personal view of the rediffGURU. Investment in securities market are subject to market risks. Read all the related document carefully before investing. The securities quoted are for illustration only and are not recommendatory. Users are advised to pursue the information provided by the rediffGURU only as a source of information and as a point of reference and to rely on their own judgement when making a decision. RediffGURUS is an intermediary as per India's Information Technology Act.

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