Home > Relationship > Question
Need Expert Advice?Our Gurus Can Help
Dr Ashish

Dr Ashish Sehgal  | Answer  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Apr 24, 2023

Ashish Sehgal has over 20 years of experience as a counsellor. He holds a doctorate in neuro linguistic programming, mental health and social welfare.He is certified in neurolinguistics by both the Society of NLP and the American Board of NLP.... more
Sachin Question by Sachin on Apr 05, 2023Hindi
Listen
Relationship

Recently my elder brother has expired. His wife since after marriage has never shown in interest to behave well with my brother nor with my father, mother and me. More of she like to enjoy life, flirting. Since my brother nature was very soft, he never fighted with her on this and she has kept him under her control. She has one 7 year kid and she doesn't care at all about him. My mother and father are taking care of the kid. In such situations l, my father has transferred the house on my name and other finances stuff as well. Since my brother expired, she is now forcing my father to give her house. Nd my father is not willing to give her and want her to leave house. And send the kid to boarding school as he knows that she will ruined the kid life. Pls suggest how we can make her go away from our house and also make the kid future arrnagement.

Ans: I'm sorry to hear about the loss of your brother and the difficult situation you are facing. It's important to handle the situation with sensitivity and compassion, especially for the child involved.

Firstly, it's important to consider the legal aspects of the property transfer and ensure that everything is in order. You may want to consult with a lawyer or legal professional to understand your options and any legal implications of the situation.

In terms of making her leave the house, it's important to approach the situation with empathy and understanding, while also being firm about your boundaries. It may be helpful to have a family meeting to discuss the situation and come up with a plan together. You could suggest alternative housing options for her and the child, or offer to help her find a new place to live.

Regarding the child's future, it's important to prioritize their well-being and ensure that they are provided with a stable and nurturing environment. You may want to consider options such as counseling for the child, or exploring alternative living arrangements that would be in the best interest of the child.

It's also important to approach the situation with compassion and empathy for your brother's wife, even if her behavior has been difficult to deal with. Grief can manifest in different ways, and it's possible that she may be struggling with her own emotions and feelings of loss.

In any case, it may be helpful to seek the guidance of a therapist or counselor who can help you navigate the complexities of the situation and provide support to all involved.

You may like to see similar questions and answers below

Kanchan

Kanchan Rai  |423 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Feb 01, 2024

Listen
Relationship
we had joint family almost 10 years back, we are two brothers ,mother ,father and 2 children to both brothers, I am elder brother, Problem started almost 5 years , My brother lost his temper and started heated argument and violence in family although he is introvert and hold negative thought since long back ,all family members tried to convince him to keep him positive but issue increased day by day reached to a level when father decided my family to protect and advise us to move out of joint family. afterwards also situation remains the same their and ultimately my parents also moved out of the house. We never had any communication around 2 years , but afterwards father had some critical health issue related to kidney and we informed them, Communication started with them again but father expired and again we have seen their violent face during rituals. We understand he having serious psychiatric issue but non of their family like his wife , Son is cooperating us for medication without his consensus as my brother never thought that he having any issue. I am very much worried that some day something wrong can happen as he is keeping very pity issues in mind and ready to fight always. He relation and neighbor's also he did the same and now no one is in talking terms with him.Please suggest how to handle ,is their any agency who can help us in sorting this issue. dont want to go in legal.
Ans: Hello Manish,
mental health issues can be complex, and professional guidance is crucial. Consult with mental health professionals to create a plan tailored to your family's specific situation. It's important to prioritize the safety and well-being of your family. If your brother's behavior becomes threatening or harmful, it may be necessary to maintain physical and emotional distance while encouraging him to seek help. Look for support groups or organizations that specialize in helping families dealing with mental health issues. They can provide guidance, resources, and a network of people who have faced similar challenges. Consider arranging a family intervention, facilitated by a mental health professional, where you can express your concerns about your brother's behavior and encourage him to seek help. It's important to approach this with empathy and understanding. while you mentioned that you don't want to go the legal route, in extreme cases, you may need to consider legal options like obtaining a court order for involuntary psychiatric evaluation. This should be considered as a last resort and only if your brother poses a serious threat to himself or others.

..Read more

Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |7201 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Jul 19, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Jul 19, 2024Hindi
Money
Hi, sorry it's a very long post My mother is 60year old homemaker(nil income) and father is 68yr old retired govt employee (recieving pension).we are 3 children [2 daughters ( all aged between 30-40yr)]to our parents.All of us are married and earning for our livelihood. We sisters are contributing to parents health insurance and other financial things since we started earning and even after marriage ( as my father is an alcoholic too not looking after the household well).Mother has a property in her name given to her by her father as a gift deed. Father had one house and a plot in his name and some ancestral property. Brother went to abroad for studies in 2018 and came back in 2020. He had a girlfriend since his college days( he married to her in 2022, never had objection from anyone of family members ). Since his arrival, he and his girlfriend started involving in all financial matters of my maternal house to the extent he was using my father's debit card for his own use( father says he has given card to brother willfully). Brother wanted to construct a commercial building in my mother's property. He and my father started threatening my mother to register her property ( actually located near Brother's girlfriend house) in name of brother saying if she doesn't agree ,they won't marry off my sister( who got married in 2022 in the presence of grandparents, mother and myself and both my father and brother didn't attend the marriage). They even extracted money from mother's account (which was given now and then to her by me and my sister).During all these process even brother's girlfriend ( wanted a source of income by renting my parents house)also started abusing my mother and involved in all financial matters ( that freedom was given to her by father and brother as my mother was suppressed and we sisters were not aware of things going on). Everything led to the abandonment of my mother who stayed in her friend's place then I brought her to my house. Now after 3 years ( during the course our wellwishers tried counselling and mediation between my father, brother and mother without sisters which didn't work out). my brother got my parents house( and a plot which was in my father's name) registered to his name as a gift deed from my father without informing mother. All the documents of the property gift deeded to my mother by her father is with my brother and father. They are threatening my mother if she enters her own property. Now my mother has no place and income though she had contributed extensively to upliftment of the family all over these years. She ran a grocery store for 15years during which one plot was bought and house was built in that. Another plot was bought after my parents marriage with the help of dowry money given to my father ) but all the properties were registered in my father's name. She has her contribution financially, emotionally and physically. Now doesn't my mother has right to ask back the house and the property given to my brother without her knowledge and to ask for maintenance from my father and also sue all three of them for mental and physical torture..? We sisters want her to lead a peaceful life in her final years of her life.. please guide us.
Ans: Evaluating Your Mother’s Rights

Your mother has been through a lot. Let's explore her legal and financial rights. She deserves to live peacefully in her final years.

Legal Rights Over Property

Your mother owns property gifted by her father. She has full rights over this property. The property can’t be taken without her consent. If your brother and father took documents, this is illegal.

Action Steps for Property

Retrieve Documents: Seek legal help to get back property documents.
Consult a Lawyer: Discuss the possibility of reclaiming the property.
File a Complaint: If threatened, your mother can file a police complaint.
Maintenance from Your Father

Your father has a duty to support your mother. She can claim maintenance from him. This can be done through legal channels.

Action Steps for Maintenance

Seek Legal Advice: A lawyer can help your mother file for maintenance.
Family Court: File a petition in family court for maintenance.
Right to Ancestral Property

Your mother contributed to the family. She can claim a share in ancestral property. The law supports her right to ancestral property.

Action Steps for Ancestral Property

Legal Consultation: Discuss the possibility of claiming ancestral property.
File a Suit: If needed, file a suit for partition of ancestral property.
Mental and Physical Torture

Your mother faced mental and physical torture. This is a serious issue. She can seek legal action against your brother, father, and sister-in-law.

Action Steps for Torture

File a Complaint: Lodge a complaint with the police for harassment.
Protection Orders: Seek protection orders from the court.
Health Insurance and Financial Support

You and your sister have supported your parents. Continue to ensure health insurance coverage. Your mother may need financial support until her rights are restored.

Action Steps for Financial Support

Joint Efforts: Continue supporting your mother financially.
Plan for Future: Set up a fund for your mother’s needs.
Investments for Secure Future

Consider investing in mutual funds for your mother’s secure future. Regular funds with the help of a Certified Financial Planner (CFP) are beneficial. Avoid direct funds due to lack of professional advice.

Benefits of Regular Funds

Professional Management: CFPs manage the funds, ensuring optimal returns.
Less Hassle: No need for your mother to manage investments actively.
Tailored Advice: Investments tailored to her risk profile and needs.
Regular Review of Investments

Regularly review investments with a CFP. Adjust them based on your mother’s needs and market conditions. This ensures her financial security.

Final Insights

Your mother has rights over her property. She can claim maintenance from your father and her share in ancestral property. Legal action can be taken for mental and physical torture. Continue supporting her financially and ensure her health insurance coverage. Invest wisely with professional advice for her secure future.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in

..Read more

Kanchan

Kanchan Rai  |423 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Jul 23, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Jul 23, 2024Hindi
Listen
Relationship
Hi, I have given my 2bhk family to my mother in law and brother in law. Over past few years they pay less rent 40% of market value rent. from oct 2023 brother in law lost job and he also has housing emi for 21L+ 3L personal loan. He is also not giving any rent also because of the.current situation. Now he is resorting to emotional black mail and citing senior citizen act stating daughter is liable to pay for living expenses. Already the current house they are staying can get 18K rent.We tried to arrange interview for his job but looks like he is not interested and he seems to be pshyco logical disturbed and talking all non sense. My mother in law is playing neutral role and saying yes to both side without taking a correct stand. My brother in-law is two divorce with history of drinking and physiological mental problems as stated by their ex-spouse.My ask 1. What are legal options available for me. 2. We want him to vacate our house and move to his own house or 1 bhk so that we can help with money from my 2bhk rent. 3. If nothing works can we make a first move of filing police compliant which I want as a last resort.
Ans: Firstly, seeking legal advice is crucial. A lawyer who specializes in property and family law can provide you with specific guidance based on your situation. They can review any rental agreements and help you understand the implications of the Senior Citizens Act that your brother-in-law is citing. This legal counsel will be invaluable in navigating the complexities of your situation.

Next, you might need to issue a formal notice to your brother-in-law and mother-in-law, requesting them to vacate the property. This notice should clearly articulate the reasons for your request, including the financial burden their reduced rent and non-payment are causing you. Provide them with a reasonable timeframe to find alternative accommodation, whether in his own house or a more affordable 1BHK apartment. This approach shows your willingness to support them while also addressing your legitimate concerns.

It's also important to communicate directly and openly with your mother-in-law. Her neutral stance may be contributing to the tension, and having a candid conversation about the situation's impact on your family could help her understand the need for a resolution. Explain the financial strain and the efforts you’ve made to assist your brother-in-law in finding employment. Her support could be pivotal in encouraging him to take more responsibility and action.

If these steps do not lead to a satisfactory resolution, you may have to consider involving the authorities. Filing a police complaint should be a last resort, but it is an option if your brother-in-law’s behavior becomes unmanageable or if he refuses to vacate the property despite all reasonable efforts. The aim here is to protect your family’s financial and emotional well-being while ensuring that your legal rights are upheld.

Throughout this process, it's essential to prioritize your mental health and well-being. Dealing with family conflicts can be emotionally draining, and seeking support from friends, a counselor, or a support group can provide you with the strength and perspective needed to handle these challenges effectively.

By taking these steps, you aim to find a balance between supporting your in-laws and protecting your own family’s interests. Remember, it’s important to act with compassion but also with a clear understanding of your rights and the need for fairness in this situation.

..Read more

Latest Questions
Ravi

Ravi Mittal  |450 Answers  |Ask -

Dating, Relationships Expert - Answered on Dec 03, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Dec 03, 2024Hindi
Listen
Relationship
Hello, my wife is Ugandan and I’m of English national, 30 years old and she’s 26, we met nearly a year ago and got married in uk with some of her friends and small family. We haven’t done kuchala (not sure if that’s correct spelling) yet and I’m feeling anxious for when the time comes. She said her family will kneel when they greet me and being white this is already stinging my moral (due to history). I also talked about moving in together before the meet the parents happen however she says she’s rather move in after? Currently this could take two years before going to Uganda, how should I proceed without overstepping her cultural beliefs as after all we are married and by my culture we should already be living together
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
It is very nice of you to be so considerate and sensitive while handling these cultural nuances. Let's discuss the kneeling tradition. It's a sign of respect and it's deeply rooted in Ugandan culture. While I understand your point of view, you also have to remember that it can have significant meaning to her and her family. I suggest you politely express your feelings and let her know why it is uncomfortable for you to see her family kneel. When you explain, mention how much her culture means to you as well. I am sure both of you can communicate and come to a compromise that makes you both happy. Just in case, they persist in following the ritual, just look at it as a gesture of love and respect and not submission.

About the moving in together part, in certain parts of the world, couples living together before the traditional wedding is not considered respectful. But since you are already married, you can try explaining to your wife how the living situation does not go against her cultural expectations. But if it is a really big deal for her and her family, consider seeing it from her perspective.

Communication is everything here. Look at every problem as a team; it's not your problem vs her problem. It's both of you vs the problems.

I hope this helps

...Read more

Radheshyam

Radheshyam Zanwar  |1088 Answers  |Ask -

MHT-CET, IIT-JEE, NEET-UG Expert - Answered on Dec 03, 2024

Listen
Career
I have received a job offer from Siecorp ,a Singapore based company though my posting would be at my hometown . They have asked me to submit all credentials related to education & job experiences which is quite normal but they have asked the following documents also which they said would help me to arrange through some agent by payment & the same would be reimbursed during first month of employment . Earlier also another overseas company asked for the same & I denied to make payment before having the job in hand . 1. Construction Health and Safety Technician (CHST) – Compulsory 2. OSHA Safety Certificate – Compulsory 3. Safety Trained Supervisor (STS) – Non-Compulsory Kindly advise whether these certificates are really required to be submitted to join any foreign company or any sort of cheating business regards,
Ans: Hello Bipradas.
From your query, it is clear that you have offered by job by a Singapore-based company and they are giving you a posting in your home town. You did not mention anything about the work culture of the company. It simply indicates that you are supposed to work from home which is always related to computers. I think there is no harm in producing the required documents through an agent if they are offering you a handsome salary. The requirement for documents differs from company to company. There is no harm in submitting the mentioned documents. If have fear in your mind, then please go through the profile of the company in detail before submitting the documents. There are many ways to check the authenticity of the company. There are some chances of cheating, but everybody is not indulged in the same category. But take the steps with utmost precaution.

If satisfied, please like and follow me.
If dissatisfied with the reply, please ask again without hesitation.
Thanks.

Radheshyam

...Read more

Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |7201 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Dec 03, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Nov 29, 2024Hindi
Listen
Money
Hi , I am 46 year old and trying to see if i can take an early retirement in next 2 years. Below is my financial condition; - Mutual fund 40Lakh - FD 30 Lakhs - 2 rental yielding flat with total rent of 55000 per month - Own house with no loan. - PF 80 Lakhs - NPS 10 Lakhs - PPF 20 Lakhs - Term insurance 50Lakhs
Ans: Your financial position shows good planning and discipline.

Assets Summary:

Mutual Funds: Rs 40 lakh
Fixed Deposits: Rs 30 lakh
Rental Income: Rs 55,000 per month from two flats
Own House: Fully paid, no loan liabilities
Provident Fund (PF): Rs 80 lakh
National Pension System (NPS): Rs 10 lakh
Public Provident Fund (PPF): Rs 20 lakh
Term Insurance: Rs 50 lakh
You have built a diversified portfolio across multiple asset classes.

Assessing Early Retirement Feasibility
Early retirement in two years can be achieved with strategic planning.

Key Factors to Evaluate:

Monthly Expenses: Calculate post-retirement expenses, including inflation.
Income Sources: Ensure rental income, investments, and withdrawals meet your needs.
Wealth Growth: Balance corpus growth with income stability.
Monthly Expense Coverage
Assume your future monthly expense is Rs 1.25 lakh.

Existing Income Streams:

Rental Income: Rs 55,000 monthly provides 44% of estimated expenses.
Corpus Withdrawals: Use investments to cover remaining expenses.
Adjust for Inflation:

Plan for a 6% inflation rate to protect purchasing power.
Investment Strategy
Align your portfolio for growth, stability, and liquidity.

Mutual Funds:

Continue investing in equity-oriented funds for long-term growth.
Opt for actively managed funds through Certified Financial Planners.
Avoid index funds; they limit opportunities for alpha generation.
Fixed Deposits:

Reallocate a portion to debt mutual funds for better post-tax returns.
Retain some FDs for emergencies and short-term needs.
NPS and PPF:

Maximise NPS contributions for additional tax savings.
Allow PPF to mature for risk-free, tax-exempt growth.
Corpus Withdrawal Plan
A systematic withdrawal strategy ensures steady income.

Use Systematic Withdrawal Plans (SWP) in mutual funds for monthly cash flow.
Keep withdrawal rates below 4% annually to sustain the corpus.
Children’s Education Planning
Your son’s education may require significant funds.

Steps to Plan for Education Costs:

Use PPF maturity or mutual fund proceeds for higher education.
Avoid using retirement corpus for educational expenses.
Risk Management
Protecting your family is as critical as building wealth.

Term Insurance Coverage:

Rs 50 lakh is adequate for income replacement.
Ensure policies are active and nominees updated.
Health Insurance:

Opt for a comprehensive family floater policy with Rs 20–25 lakh coverage.
Keep health-related emergency funds for additional expenses.
Tax Planning
Efficient tax planning maximises post-retirement income.

Mutual Fund Taxation:

Equity fund LTCG above Rs 1.25 lakh is taxed at 12.5%.
Short-term gains are taxed at 20%. Plan withdrawals carefully.
Fixed Deposit Interest:

FD interest is taxable as per your slab. Consider this in income planning.
Real Estate Considerations
Your rental flats provide steady income.

Points to Consider:

Avoid further real estate investments for better liquidity.
Keep properties well-maintained to ensure uninterrupted rental income.
Healthcare and Emergency Funds
Unplanned medical costs can affect your finances.

Steps to Safeguard:

Maintain Rs 10–15 lakh in liquid assets for emergencies.
Regularly review health insurance coverage to meet rising costs.
Assessing Early Retirement Timing
Your early retirement is achievable by 48 years with careful execution.

Why This is Feasible:

Rental income and portfolio can meet monthly needs.
A diversified asset base ensures sustainable returns.
Finally
Early retirement is within your reach with disciplined planning.

Review your financial plan annually and adjust for changes in needs or markets.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in
https://www.youtube.com/@HolisticInvestment

...Read more

DISCLAIMER: The content of this post by the expert is the personal view of the rediffGURU. Investment in securities market are subject to market risks. Read all the related document carefully before investing. The securities quoted are for illustration only and are not recommendatory. Users are advised to pursue the information provided by the rediffGURU only as a source of information and as a point of reference and to rely on their own judgement when making a decision. RediffGURUS is an intermediary as per India's Information Technology Act.

Close  

You haven't logged in yet. To ask a question, Please Log in below
Login

A verification OTP will be sent to this
Mobile Number / Email

Enter OTP
A 6 digit code has been sent to

Resend OTP in120seconds

Dear User, You have not registered yet. Please register by filling the fields below to get expert answers from our Gurus
Sign up

By signing up, you agree to our
Terms & Conditions and Privacy Policy

Already have an account?

Enter OTP
A 6 digit code has been sent to Mobile

Resend OTP in120seconds

x