Mam, I want to ask you 1) Is it unlawful or illegal for a married man / woman to have feelings and love for an unmarried woman / man. Also is it the same for a married man/woman to harbour feelings for another married woman/man. The above may be with or without physical intimacy. Regards,

Ans: Dear Anonymous,

Thank you for the clarity. Yes, it would be wrong to cheat on your partner but it would also be wrong if you get into a relationship with this woman and later leave her to start your own family. It is best you avoid these complications and let her find someone who would love her despite the circumstances. It would most certainly be wrong of you to take away her chance of being loved and maybe, someday, have a better future.

Best Wishes!

Ans: Dear Anonymous,
I understand that you are feeling undervalued by your husband but the "I want both of them" approach has never worked out well for anyone, especially in an exclusive relationship. You have a few options here-
You speak to your husband about how the lack of attention from him is affecting you and work on it with him.
Tell him openly about this man and let him know that there's a slight chance that you might develop feelings for him if your husband continues to pay all his focus on work and none on you. This could shake him up from his slumber and help him realize that he has not been fair to you.
Opt for separation- if you do not have an open marriage, you cannot have both of the men. It isn't moral to do this behind your partner's back.

I strongly suggest you consider doing the first option. Communicate your feelings of loneliness to your husband and seek help from a marriage counselor. It can do wonders for your relationship.

Best Wishes.

Ans: Dear Anonymous,
I think the other answer clears things up for you. I would like to add that asking you to keep the relationship a secret, convincing you to have an extra-marital affair, and saying things like 'your husband will be your responsibility and I will be your love' are a bit concerning. Even if you wanted to leave your partner and get together with this colleague, it should be an unforced decision. It looks like he is trying to coax you and doing so even when you are so conflicted is very selfish. I would like you to be cautious. And to confirm your doubts- yes, it is cheating if you really decide to act on these without your husband's knowledge.

Hope this helps.