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Anu Krishna  |1044 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Sep 13, 2023

Anu Krishna is a mind coach and relationship expert.
The co-founder of Unfear Changemakers LLP, she has received her neuro linguistic programming training from National Federation of NeuroLinguistic Programming, USA, and her energy work specialisation from the Institute for Inner Studies, Manila.
She is an executive member of the Indian Association of Adolescent Health.... more
Rupannita Question by Rupannita on Sep 12, 2023Hindi

Mam, I want to ask you 1) Is it unlawful or illegal for a married man / woman to have feelings and love for an unmarried woman / man. Also is it the same for a married man/woman to harbour feelings for another married woman/man. The above may be with or without physical intimacy. Regards,

Ans: Dear Rupannita,
NO, it is not illegal to have feelings for a married man/woman.
What might be illegal and unlawful within certain faiths and beliefs is a second marriage when the first marriage is still active.
No one can stop feelings from arising, but you can certainly stop acting on those feelings. Right?
Acting on those feelings and giving your heart to someone who is married can only result in disappointment and uncertainty leading to stress and anxiety.
Whether it is with or without physical intimacy, taking care of one's mental health is top priority. Life that is unsettling, uncertain with the person unavailable when you need him/her the most can only affect the mind to a great degree.
So, acting on those feelings for momentary pleasure may cause a long-term heartache. It's a clear choice...

All the best!

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Ravi Mittal  |252 Answers  |Ask -

Dating, Relationships Expert - Answered on Oct 17, 2023

Asked by Anonymous - Oct 17, 2023Hindi
I am married working women .supportive hubby & my lovely children complete my family . I have been feeling intense infatuation with one of my married collegue.he used to help me a lot in office related issues. He used to complement me a lot for very normal things in front of others, not for looks but my working & way oc handling things. I was uneasy about that initially but started enjoying the attention later. But I dont know when I started liking him & Always wanted to be around ...He is younger to me and I am fully aware that nothing can happen between us. Than one day He bypassed me and for his own fault at work , he manipulated things and asked a favor for me from our team leader showing he is helping me...While in same situation when he was wrong I once sorted things on my own and did not make conplaint to team leader. Now i am feeling cheated and while working I have to see him everyday. What to do? How to remain and look normal. I feel weak in front of him and I dont want to keep any relation with him. But I still feel good & comfortable when he is around. its so weird.
Ans: Dear Anonymous,

I'm sorry to hear that you're going through this difficult situation. It's not uncommon for people who have been married for a long time to feel this way. It mostly happens because the marriage is now part of your routine while your colleague seems like a breath of fresh air. But as you yourself mentioned, it is nothing but mere infatuation.

Do not beat yourself up for it. It will pass as all infatuations do. I suggest establishing some boundaries so that, even unintentionally, you do not cross them. Maintain a professional demeanor. But most importantly, take some time to reflect on what is missing from your marriage that led you to develop feelings for someone else. A loving and healthy marriage would keep you emotionally fulfilled enough to never look for happiness outside of it. Lastly, remind yourself why you fell in love with your husband and remember that love and commitment are not based on a mere choice; it is a conscious decision you make every day.

Best Wishes!

..Read more


Ravi Mittal  |252 Answers  |Ask -

Dating, Relationships Expert - Answered on Apr 02, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Mar 11, 2024Hindi
Hi one of my married friend having 02 children (son approx - 11 yrs and daughter - 8 yrs ). He have a lot of love and care for his family and he take care of every need of the family. But suddenly he fall in love with his companion girl who is single (widow) and have a daughter of 11 yrs approximately. They oftenly meet with each other even have intimate a lot of time. Now he or she only have a relationship which is never acceptable and both of them not want to leave their families. However they just never felt uncomfortable to each other in their personal life and take of each other like husband wife. But my friend afraid of his personal life as if his wife will know their relationship she never accept it. Moreover it will hamper their personal life also. But as of now both females are happy with him coz his wife didn't know about their relationship. Will he still continue the relationship as neither he leave her female partner nor his wife. He takes care of both of them very comfortably. Kindly suggest upon it.
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
I understand that you want to know whether your friend will continue having his extramarital affair. It is difficult for me to tell, but if he is morally okay and guilt free to cheat on his wife, the mother of his two kids, it is possible that he will continue with the relationship until something blows up, i.e., his wife finds out or his girlfriend backs out. I don't see how that is ethically correct from any possible angle.

Best Wishes.

..Read more

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Ramalingam Kalirajan  |5055 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Jul 19, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Jul 14, 2024Hindi
I am a 27 years old Software Engineer. I had a fixed income of 1 Lakh per month, out of which my expenses were 25k to parents, 10k to spouse and 15k monthly personal expenses. After all expenses I would save 50k per month. I recently got a job offer of 42 LPA, so my income now is 3.5L per month. I don't intend to change my lifestyle, so my expenses would still be 50k per month, and I intend to save around 3L per month. I had invested in Equity Funds once a small amount of 10k, and it had given decent returns so I would like to know how I can best utilise my new income going forward from here, not just in equity funds but everywhere, where I can invest that will help me grow. I don't have any emi or loans.
Ans: You are a 27-year-old software engineer.

Your new job offers Rs 42 LPA, so your income is Rs 3.5L per month.

Your monthly expenses are Rs 50k, allowing you to save Rs 3L per month.

You have previously invested Rs 10k in equity funds with good returns.

Financial Goals and Planning
Emergency Fund
Priority: Build an emergency fund.

Liquidity: Keep 6-12 months' expenses in a savings account or liquid funds.

Purpose: Provides financial security during emergencies.

Diversified Investment Strategy
Equity Mutual Funds
Growth Potential: Allocate Rs 1L to equity mutual funds.

Fund Types: Invest in large-cap, mid-cap, and diversified equity funds.

SIPs: Continue with systematic investment plans for rupee cost averaging.

Debt Mutual Funds
Stability: Allocate Rs 50k to debt mutual funds.

Safety: Provides stability and reduces overall portfolio risk.

Returns: Offers better returns than traditional savings accounts.

Balanced Mutual Funds
Hybrid Approach: Invest Rs 50k in balanced or hybrid funds.

Balance Risk: These funds balance equity and debt, offering moderate risk and returns.

ELSS Funds
Tax Benefits: Invest Rs 50k in ELSS funds for tax savings under Section 80C.

Equity Exposure: Provides equity exposure with tax benefits.

Long-Term Security: Invest Rs 25k in Public Provident Fund (PPF).

Retirement Planning: Consider investing Rs 25k in the National Pension System (NPS) for retirement planning.

Gold and Digital Gold
Diversification: Invest Rs 20k in gold or digital gold.

Hedge Against Inflation: Gold acts as a hedge against inflation.

Insurance Coverage
Health Insurance
Adequate Cover: Ensure you have adequate health insurance coverage for yourself and dependents.

Additional Coverage: Consider a top-up plan if needed.

Term Insurance
Life Cover: Consider a term insurance plan for financial security for your family.

Adequate Sum: Ensure the cover is sufficient to support your dependents in case of unforeseen events.

Regular Review and Adjustments
Annual Financial Review
Performance Check: Review your portfolio annually.

Rebalance: Adjust your investments based on performance and changing goals.

Final Insights
Your new income allows for substantial savings and investment opportunities. Diversify your investments across equity, debt, and balanced mutual funds. Consider tax-saving instruments like ELSS and PPF. Ensure adequate insurance coverage for health and life. Regularly review and adjust your portfolio to stay aligned with your financial goals.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,


...Read more


Samraat Jadhav  |1870 Answers  |Ask -

Stock Market Expert - Answered on Jul 19, 2024

DISCLAIMER: The content of this post by the expert is the personal view of the rediffGURU. Investment in securities market are subject to market risks. Read all the related document carefully before investing. The securities quoted are for illustration only and are not recommendatory. Users are advised to pursue the information provided by the rediffGURU only as a source of information and as a point of reference and to rely on their own judgement when making a decision. RediffGURUS is an intermediary as per India's Information Technology Act.


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