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Anu Krishna  |1328 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Apr 15, 2024

Anu Krishna is a mind coach and relationship expert.
The co-founder of Unfear Changemakers LLP, she has received her neuro linguistic programming training from National Federation of NeuroLinguistic Programming, USA, and her energy work specialisation from the Institute for Inner Studies, Manila.
She is an executive member of the Indian Association of Adolescent Health.... more
Asked by Anonymous - Apr 10, 2024Hindi
Relationship

Dear Anu, Long story please read About the this incident : I am in really a bad situation from last 7 days, My father-in law took, my wife and my children away because, I asked about her attractive behavior (Sexual tentative not sure) , she has shown towards our neighbor. I already directly warned her about his wrong starring twice, year before when we went for 4 families trip. (I have proof from her google account to show she has done wrong searches about him like searching for nickname of boyfriend with his designation etc ...) She is running her own business which is started by her on my encouragement and running ok from 7 years. Suddenly for some work, I called her she is missing from her office for 2.5 hours and no one knows where she went, After 2.5 hours I got a call and when I asked, she said Its a surprise and will tell later. Next day too she said It is secret and will tell later, third day too she said she went out for roaming.(my surprise was, in hot summer day on byke roaming at 10.15 am to 12.15 am ... na naa something is wrong). I started tracking her email by taking her password and notification accepted by her on her mobile. Then I realized the web activity(she was not aware of these things will get stored in google till then), as I said above like gift for boy friend and romantic nick name for someone special who is having xxx designation etc ... always smiling person. Attraction synonyms ... casual sex and serious relationship difference a video etc... All these are only from starting of 3rd March 2024. My Heart was broken, as I am staying in different city and already have plans to go home in few days, I somehow manged 2 days and went home. Next, I was all-over her with big fight. I was blaming her for everything even not feeding kids on time, as I was saying she gets time to spend on chatting or searching etc... I was literally went to nuts, as I warned about him to be careful 2 years ago couple of tiimes. She said she is innocent, she didn't searched all the above I have shown her photos taken from my mobile with her track. she asked how did you know I searched for her, Because of using his designation in search. Finally she agreed she meet him for 15 mints on some professional work, on 16th march and went out after that for another place. But google timelines shows she was at home for entire 2.2 hours. why should she lie for remaining 1.5 hrs if there is nothing wrong happened. why should she say 15 mints only, when she meet him for a profession reason for 2 hours. I am literally not satisfied with her answers. Next day morning my mom returned home, (she don't know anything) from a function in other city which she went 10 days ago. (All these episodes happened next day my mom left home according to search history). Suddenly wife in early hours kept suicide note and left home. I was just sleeping in next room, my mom saw the note and woke me up. Finally we found her on our terrace staircase sleeping there as she takes medication for sleep, she has zero negative artistes. I booked ticket for her dad immediately and asked him to come same day, shown him and explained him all this. That day he is calm and asked what you want to do. I was thinking positive that he tells her not to repeat and stay for a week and go home. He said he wanted his wife to talk to her(my mother-inlaw), I said book ticket for her but unfortunately tickets were not available, seems he is also not interested to book ticket. After next day I intentionally went out by taking my daughter for 3 hours informing, I am going out for 3 hours to him. I thought he will speak to her privately to help her understand. But not sure nothing happened my mother said, he was sitting in living room whole 3 hours and she is in bedroom. Next day she said she is not going for office as I am doubting her behavior.(My in-laws never wanted her to work from start marriage) . But before marriage it self I informed them I am looking for a working wife. As they didn't let her attend job interviews, I am forced to invest in business, my hard earned one year salary with loan and made her owner there. I thought she would be also be happy as owner. She is happily running this for 7 years (of-course no profits and I never insisted too much on profits too as I already closed the loan in 4 years from my salary). Past Episode 1 : 1) when we got arranged married, I was in love with a girl and also deep relationship staying with her for few years too. I just gave her a hint as I took her for my GF marriage reception. (Even I loved her my GF with full heart, due to known reason for both of us, I informed her, I will not marry her before, I stay with her). Once she found a letter from my GF and wrote an email to her husband about out Love afair, I am not sure he took that seriously. 2) My wife also have some love story but, I never asked about that as he didn't want to revel that any time.(its ok before marriage something happen in life), I have an idea about that within short span of marriage, as she was sending messages after 11.30 pm etc. After observing couple of months, warned her twice not do so. one day I was anger and left to office, as I saw her texting again previous night. Evening when, I returned home, she was crying like a baby sitting in living room saying as she had swallowed 10 tablets given to her some reason to attempt suicide. I was shocked and rushed her to hospital and fortunately able to save her. Never discussed about that anytime after that. Episode 2: After around 8 years of smooth life and 2 children, after starting the business one night, I was watching movie in living room and went to bedroom, wife suddenly got surprised and hiding her mobile. I asked her why are you hiding and give me the mobile she didn't, I tried to get the reach of mobile and she didn't let that happen as she hold it strong, I left and came back to other room to sleep. But next morning, she was showing anger on me and vice-versa, I had a quarrel and called up her dad after 3 to 4 days, That time he asked what is the proof she is chatting with someone in night, I don't as I didn't snatched her mobile forcefully. He said she won't do anything like that and asked to be peaceful, after few days thing became normal, as I also don't have proof, I thought it might be mistake my side too. Episode 3 : She started going to a super market everyday at particular time every day. Even though she comes though same road just 1 hour before, she wont stop and get items form there, she used to go after getting ready every day for 15 to 20 days, I observed pattern. Generally she goes with my kids skating to classes in our gated community only and used leave from there. I used to go and meet some friends near that skating classes after a while, but some times she used to be not there, I Observed the pattern she was missing continuously from 15 to 20 days after dropping kids there, I followed by my car and searched didn't found her in the regular place where she tells, after 15 to 20 mints, I was standing there she came to the place, when I asked her she said she went for Vegetables shop near by and shown place and a couple veg's she bought. I was working in reputed software org and earning well. I always think about my wife and children even, I am away from home. For example I go to airport, I buy chocolates for my children, I check, If I can get my wife a good watch deal or buy a bag as she like watches but wont try to spend 200 for a coffee in airport. I go to GOA with friends buy clothes from there, by reducing the bottles, I always show lot of love towards, children and wife as I was working from home past 4 years. Love doesn't mean, I tell her I love you or something, but I always felt pain if she is not well or I never said no, If she asked me take for shopping or somewhere etc. we are always going to movies Of-course its on my interest. never restricted anything for her to spend. Point to note she always spends carefully too. I only encourage her to spend more for to buy anything she wants. This is our present. Taken them to holidays now and then etc ... with all above episodes she says I am doubting her, Am I really? or she is creating the situations? 1) Even after warning not send messages after 11.00 pm in night or asked whom she sent no answer. 2) Episode 2 hiding mobile and giving mobile to me 3) Episode 3 even though she comes in same path every day for a specific time staying in same place 4) Episode 4 Even after warning her about bad starring going for professional her with out discussing and deleting call history of him ( 11 sort calls of 40 to 60 seconds and 2 calls on 4 mints each, in a span of 20 days) and mid night searches etc... am I bad guy? or am I trying to saving my wife from this evil intentions we know in society? What if I would have left her for the them, will my family relation will stay, what would it shows her as? will I become a responsible husband? Now she is trying for a job in her city with parents encouragement and trying to get admission for my daughter in Garde 1, even she has completed Garde 2 this year. Not sure about my son yet. She is spoiling daughter studies. My cute children are not with me now, I came back to my office and staying in PG from yesterday. Not able to concentrate on work or other things, literally crying at times in wash rooms.(even at airport when I saw children of my age went to washroom and cried a lot). what should I do go and beg her for getting angry on her? tell her with whom ever you chat and go I wont bother come home? or leave her and children for their fate? what the use for earning this salary when I cant spend time with my children? everyone says wait for her realize her mistake, If she gets job and takes admission in school will she even consider coming back to me? her mother always controls her father, same her sister in-law with her brother(love marriage). Now my mother and couple of friends(close) say, if I go she will treat you like a slave she will come and do same thing again you cant even ask her. After going home they tried to destroy the evidence I have by formatting mobile by logging into google account and erase device. That is a business mobile she didn't even bothered about customer base of 7 years contacts. Fortunately I could recover contacts. I could also get to know her personal email id that's how I cam to know about her job search and admission search of children. what should I do now? Please advice immediately.

Ans: Dear Anonymous,
My suggestion to couples who are at constant loggerheads and on the verge of a marriage breakdown:
- What can you do to put your marriage back together?
- Can you trust one another yet again?
- Are you both willing to set aside your differences and work towards your marriage?

You have given a detailed account of what has happened and one thing seems clear is that there is NO trust left within your marriage. This itself will prevent you from getting back together. Agreed that you have reasons and proof to doubt her, but if you both want the marriage to work, you will have to start fresh.
Also, the fact that she is searching for a job and also admission for the children suggests that she is looking at moving on without you. So, instead of making assumptions on what is happening and hoping for something to happen, it's time to request for a one-on-one chat with your wife. She may decline, but no harm in trying. The chat can bring forth what she has in mind and if she also wants to be in the marriage or move on. Knowing, asking, understanding can help and guide you on the next steps.

No point going around in circles playing this Hide and Seek game as a couple. Sit down, talk it out and take firm decisions. Your marriage will need a lot of trust and love to be rebuilt; are you willing to go through this journey?

All the best!
Asked on - Apr 19, 2024 | Answered on Apr 19, 2024
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Hi Anu, I went ahead and spoke to my wife at their home for 2 hours personally and also took her out for lunch next day. Can you suggest me a good relationship Expert and Mind coach in Hyderabad? I insist only physical consultation this month last week and also next month first week, should be able to spend good time on our case, Not to be in hurry, to go to next case. (I think that would be good enough), I know it may take some sessions to bring it to a fruitful result. Please advice...
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
It is great to see you being so proactive on this situation that you are in.
On my part, it will not be professionally ethical to put down the name of an expert on a public platform without their consent. In that case, you can browse the internet for centers for marriage therapy/relationship coaching in Hyderabad. Check on their credentials before signing up with any expert. Request for a call where you can evaluate they are the right person for your situation. Once you do that, put your weight behind it and make sure that you are guided to sort your entire situation and reach a firm resolution.

All the best!

You may like to see similar questions and answers below

Kanchan

Kanchan Rai  |407 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Feb 26, 2023

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Relationship
Dear Mam, I am a 46 year old married man for last 15 years. My wife is 39 year old ... We had an arranged marriage. The marriage all along appeared very happy, so to me. We had a very happy married life.. Our elder child is 13 years. ..... We have another who is 6 year .. ..... Around 8 years back my wife was regularly chatting with her old friend and he was openly flirting... I asked my wife to be careful and stop it.. Which she promised..... ... But she never did, she used to delete the chats and occasionally drop his name... I thought she is a wife, a mother and trusted her.... Last year i came to know that she was meeting him too.. I confronted her... and she gave excuses that it was just few... And she only sat in his Car and took some rides, never got down, never went with him anywhere... Never went to any place, apartment or hotel.. and she insisted it was just few and very recent. ... I checked and found she has met him earlier too.. I checked and found she had paused her google timeline off and on.. She had his contact as hidden in Hangouts, and had exchanged some photographs of hers with my Son to him.. She used to gift him on his birthday........ She was regularly chatting and delteting the messages on all forums with him... On again confronting, she admitted that this all started in 2016...and these are the only visits... She claiming she was afraid so didnt tell all initially.. She says she has met him, but never comitted Adultery... She saying she is remorseful, did a very big blunder and trying all hard to win back my trust... But its very hard to believe and trust...the reason 1) She did not disclose everything to me on first time of confronting...she disclosed only recent visits 2) On being asked to cut off all contacts..she told me she has asked her friend not to contact her thru any mode, but she did not delete him/block him from WhatsApp, Facebook, Truecaller, Mobile contact list..this i had to do. 3) Third she admitted she liked Going out wit him.......4) She so silently used to chat with him even when i was around all these years that i did not suspect....We both are working.. ..please Suggest ..... Hope my identity will not be Disclosed
Ans: Discovering that your wife is talking and meeting with a friend and hiding it from you can be a challenging and stressful situation. If you feel that the friend is flirting with your wife, it can further complicate things and cause feelings of jealousy, insecurity, and mistrust. However, it is essential to approach the situation calmly and objectively and take steps to address the issue.

The first thing to do is to communicate openly and honestly with your wife. Express your concerns and feelings and ask her to explain her relationship with the friend. Listen carefully to her side of the story and try to understand her perspective. It may be that there is a reasonable explanation for their interactions, such as a long-standing friendship or a professional relationship.

However, if you still feel uncomfortable with their interactions and suspect that there may be something more going on, it is essential to address the issue directly. Let your wife know how their interactions make you feel and explain why you feel uncomfortable with their friendship. It is essential to avoid accusing your wife of anything and instead focus on your own feelings and concerns.

It is also important to consider your own behavior in the relationship. Are you feeling jealous or insecure due to your own issues, or is there a valid reason for your concerns? Take some time to reflect on your own feelings and assess the situation objectively.

If you feel that the friend is indeed flirting with your wife, it may be necessary to set some boundaries. Let your wife know what behavior is unacceptable and make it clear that you expect her to respect your feelings and the boundaries you have set.

In some cases, seeking the help of a professional counselor or therapist may be beneficial. A therapist can help you both work through your feelings and emotions and develop a plan to move forward in a healthy and positive way.

It is essential to approach the situation with patience, understanding, and open communication to ensure that you can navigate this difficult time and move forward in a positive direction.

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Anu

Anu Krishna  |1328 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Jun 03, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - May 26, 2024Hindi
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Relationship
Hi, I married 1 year ago my wife told me she was forced to do a marriage against her concern and she didn't want the marriage life and wanted to live as strangers, also she refused to take wife responsibilities at home i have waited trusting she would change but she never changed. She is alone daughter to her parents borned after 16 years to their parents and she used to live outside around 17 year for her studies. After marriage whenever her parents come she used to ignore me, also she work in private sector and not share even single rupee to home. However all house hold work i do being boy, also she is not at all interested in intercource as well. After marriage 2 week she stayed in PG stating that my close friend will go to native allow me to spend time with her reast all i will be with you like. I agreed. Later 6 Month she used to give reasons for intercource i got periods, rashes, not feeling good, tiered, no mood, etc this happen till 6 month. After this we had 4 times in 2 month with protection that too just for 1 or 2 min as she mentioned lot of pain, after that she started avoiding, since i was not fulfilled by sex desire i started making extra marital affairs in facebook and turned to whatsapp only text, one fine day she saw all msgs i did with extra marital affair and she took photos of that and went to PG without informing any one. Later both families elder sat and asked she used to show the msgs that i did with extra marital affairs and she wanted seperate now from me. Though i accepted the extra marital affairs only interms of msgs and since you not willing to do sex i choose this way i mentioned. But she dont like to come back now. Her father took 2 month of time that he will change her mind set but i dont think she can. As her mother is also not good women, suporting her daughter and making such big issues and she also not interested in this marriage itself.
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
Sometimes people are just not ready for marriage and here your wife certainly came along with a huge baggage of unresolved issues behind her.
Marriage requires both partners to be responsible not just towards one another but take an active interest in their roles. This calls for maturity from both partners here.
Now, this was never a possibility with your spouse as she felt the marriage was a forced one. That is enough to destroy any chances of the marriage falling in place. You are also in a soup now that she has found her 'proof' that gives her a ticket out of this marriage.
The question here is: Do you want this marriage? If YES, then you will have to start down the part of proving your innocence and what led to what and how and when...If NO, then since your spouse has found her ticket to freedom, the only thing you might have to do is clearly state and not explain anything as to how things went downhill right from the beginning. Her parents may believe you or not, but that's what your decision needs. They may try to malign you in the family, just stick to your version of what happened and move on.
So, you are at that point where you need to make a decision. What is it going to be?

All the best!
Anu Krishna
Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
Drop in: www.unfear.io
Reach me: Facebook: anukrish07/ AND LinkedIn: anukrishna-joyofserving/

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Anu

Anu Krishna  |1328 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Jun 20, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Jun 19, 2024Hindi
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Relationship
Hi.. good evening.. i want your advise.. we are married for 6 months now and we had a arranged marriage. My mistake was not informing my wife about my past relationship which we had broken up badly and immediately after my marriage my ex girlfriend shared our pictures with my wife purposefully and she got upset with that and me and my family convinced my wife that i have broken up with her and i dont have any contact with her and it is true and i am loyal to my wife. Everthing was normal after that and 2 months passed and i observed that my wife is in regular contact with a guy on phone whom she calls friend and talks to him daily. I confronted this to her and she told that he is just her freind and he had helped her before during her difficult times. Again this continued and i asked her to stop contacting him daily and even though he is a friend what is the point in talking to him daily and she just cried telling that i am controlling her and she feels like she has no freedom and is in jail and i am not allowing her to talk to her friends. After this she limited her talks with him and seemed fine by me as it is just a friendly casual talks 2 to 3 times a week. One day she asked me reply to one of her emails and wanted to upload some file. While i went to upload i had access to her google photos and i was shell shocked to see lots of photos of her with this guy whom she calls friend and in close proximity. Also there are pictures of them dated 3 to 4 years back and also the most hurting part is the pictures of her with him after our marriage as well. She had told me that they have a college get together and reunion and she had went with him on that day and stayed overnight as well. I was literally shocked by this and confronted her immediately and then she told me that she was in relationship with him and her parents did not agree so couldnt marry him and even he also cancelled many marriage proposals because of her and she betrayed him and happily married now with me while he is still not married and she feels guilty as all this happened to him because of her and so she talks to him daily and she can only feel ok once he is married. I told her she has to stop talking to him if we want to keep this marriage.. she tells me if i leave her she is dead as even her parents wont accpet her and also he (her ex boyfriend) will not accept her and she says she has nowhere else to go.. she still cares for me though but i dont know what else to do.. she still talks to him 2 to 3 times a week... please advise how to go about this
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
Your wife was never into this marriage and it became convenient for her to pursue a link with her ex-boyfriend once she found out about your past.
Everything that she does now being justified. You are right in putting your foot down, but have you seen a favorite toy being snatched away from a child? The need for that toy only gets stronger.
The way that you can counter this is by showering her with a lot of care and attention as I do gather that the two of you want this marriage. You want it as you are in love with your wife, she wants it as she has nowhere to go. Fair enough! The reasons right now might not be the same BUT someday with much love going into the relationship, the two of you can be on the same path.

Now, the question is: Are you willing to wait and pour more into the relationship? She will waver for a while going back and forth between you and that guy; it will hurt you...There will be a lot of anger and perhaps feelings of inadequacy in you, BUT you know that it's not the case. Can you persist on this journey? I sincerely believe that somewhere along the way, she is bound to stick by you when she realizes the stability that you can offer and that the sheen out there will wear out. Possible? Are you willing? If you are, go for it...Love, care, stability, security is something that is core in any marriage...be a part of it!

All the best!
Anu Krishna
Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
Drop in: www.unfear.io
Reach me: Facebook: anukrish07/ AND LinkedIn: anukrishna-joyofserving/

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Nayagam P

Nayagam P P  |3921 Answers  |Ask -

Career Counsellor - Answered on Nov 25, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Nov 25, 2024Hindi
Career
My daughter is in 10 th class Maharashtra board She wants to do carrier in mathematics or economics what are the ways for further education
Ans: Your daughter is interested in pursuing a career in Mathematics or Economics, which offer exciting opportunities and a variety of educational pathways. She can choose from the Science Stream (Mathematics Focus) or the Commerce Stream (Economics Focus), depending on her interests and aptitude.

An option for her is to choose Science with Mathematics in 11th and 12th grade, which will provide a strong foundation in math. After completing 12th Science with Mathematics, she can pursue a Bachelor's Degree in Mathematics, such as B.Sc. in Mathematics, B.Tech or B.E. (Engineering), or a B.Tech in Computer Science, Information Technology, or Electronics.

Postgraduate courses in Mathematics can lead to M.Sc. in Mathematics or Applied Mathematics, or M.Tech in Data Science or Computer Science. Other career paths in Mathematics include Actuarial Science, Data Science/Analytics, and pure mathematics/research.

In Economics, she can pursue Commerce with Economics in 11th and 12th grade, followed by a Bachelor's Degree in Economics, a Master of Arts in Economics, or a Master of Science in Economics. Specialized courses in Economics include Econometrics, Public Policy, Finance, and International Organizations/NGOs.

Joint careers in Mathematics and Economics can be pursued through integrated programs like B.A./B.Sc. in Mathematics and Economics, or Actuarial Science/Financial Mathematics. Entrance exams and competitive exams may be required for each path.

Pursuing Mathematics through the Science stream is an excellent path for your daughter, while Economics through the Commerce stream is ideal for those interested in understanding economies and global trends. All the BEST for Your Daughter's Prosperous Future.

To know more on ‘ Careers | Education | Jobs’, ask / follow Us here in RediffGURUS.

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Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |7122 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Nov 25, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Nov 22, 2024Hindi
Money
I am 32 years of age I have a corpus of 40 lakhs including mutual funds,stocks,pf,insurance.I invest 65000 in sip every month with 84% in equity, 6% in hybrid and 10% in debt funds as of now with 58% in large cap,27% in mid cap and 15 % in small cap with an xirr of 17.2%. how much will my corpus grow in next 20-30 years ?
Ans: Your financial journey so far is impressive. At 32 years, a corpus of Rs. 40 lakhs reflects good planning. Your SIP of Rs. 65,000 per month and asset allocation indicate strong discipline and understanding of investments.

Your current XIRR of 17.2% is exceptional, suggesting an effective fund selection. Maintaining this momentum will help you build substantial wealth.

Growth Potential Over the Next 20-30 Years
Power of Compounding

Compounding over 20-30 years can multiply wealth significantly.
Your disciplined SIP approach amplifies this effect.
Corpus Growth Projections

If your XIRR sustains near 17%, your corpus can grow exponentially.
Over 20 years, it may cross Rs. 10-12 crores.
In 30 years, this could grow beyond Rs. 30-40 crores.
Consideration for Realistic Returns

Sustaining 17% XIRR may be optimistic in the long term.
A realistic expectation of 12-15% still ensures significant growth.
Factors Influencing Your Future Corpus
Market Volatility

Equity-heavy portfolios are prone to short-term fluctuations.
Maintain your long-term perspective to overcome these.
Asset Allocation Discipline

Your 84% equity allocation is ideal for long-term goals.
Rebalance annually to maintain this allocation.
Economic Growth and Inflation

India's economic growth supports equity performance.
High inflation demands better returns to preserve purchasing power.
SIP Increments

Increasing SIP annually can enhance corpus growth.
A 10% increment every year could add several crores.
Importance of Diversification
Large, Mid, and Small-Cap Allocation

Your 58% large-cap, 27% mid-cap, and 15% small-cap allocation is balanced.
This mix ensures stability and growth potential.
Hybrid and Debt Funds Role

Your 10% debt allocation cushions against market volatility.
Hybrid funds offer consistent returns with lower risk.
Tax Efficiency in Long-Term Investments
Equity Fund Taxation

Long-term capital gains above Rs. 1.25 lakh are taxed at 12.5%.
Factor this in when planning withdrawals.
Debt Fund Taxation

Gains are taxed as per your income slab.
Plan asset allocation changes with tax efficiency in mind.
Enhancing Your Strategy
Emergency Fund

Maintain 6-12 months of expenses in liquid or ultra-short-term funds.
Insurance Review

Ensure adequate term insurance and health insurance coverage.
Goal-Based Investing

Align specific investments to defined goals like retirement or children's education.
Periodic Review

Review fund performance and portfolio allocation annually.
Replace underperforming funds if needed.
Final Insights
Your current portfolio and discipline promise exceptional long-term results. Continue SIPs, periodically increase investments, and review portfolio performance. A realistic approach with a focus on equity can help you achieve remarkable financial milestones over 20-30 years.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP

Chief Financial Planner

www.holisticinvestment.in
https://www.youtube.com/@HolisticInvestment

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Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |7122 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Nov 25, 2024

Money
Hi my name is Mani and aged 36 i am drawing a monthly salary of 3.5lakhs. Below are my investments. I want to achieve around 10Cr by 50. Current MF potfolio:50L Shares/ETF: 10L PF: 39L US ESOP: 1.2 Crore Monthly SIP: 1.65Lkhs 2 houses: 95L & 60L I can invest upto 2.5-3lakhs montly. Closed all my loans.
Ans: Your current investments reflect excellent financial discipline and planning. With your income and ability to invest Rs 2.5-3 lakhs monthly, you are in a strong position to achieve your target of Rs 10 crore by 50. However, optimising your portfolio is crucial for achieving this milestone efficiently. Here's an in-depth assessment and strategy to guide you.

Assessment of Current Investments
Mutual Fund Portfolio: Rs 50 Lakh
This portfolio forms a significant part of your wealth.
Equity mutual funds can offer long-term growth.
Regular reviews and diversification will enhance returns.
Shares and ETFs: Rs 10 Lakh
Direct equity and ETFs require active monitoring.
ETFs have limitations, like tracking errors and passive management.
Disadvantages of ETFs:

Lack of flexibility to outperform benchmarks.
Returns are limited to market indices, missing active management benefits.
Provident Fund: Rs 39 Lakh
PF is a safe, tax-efficient retirement tool.
Growth is limited compared to equity investments.
US ESOP: Rs 1.2 Crore
ESOPs provide substantial value, but currency and company risks exist.
Diversification is essential to reduce concentrated risk.
Monthly SIPs: Rs 1.65 Lakh
A high monthly SIP reflects your commitment to wealth creation.
Fund selection and risk balance will determine growth.
Real Estate: Rs 95 Lakh and Rs 60 Lakh
While real estate offers stability, liquidity issues can be a challenge.
Rental income should align with market returns to remain beneficial.
Strategy to Achieve Rs 10 Crore by 50
1. Optimise Mutual Fund Investments
Increase allocation to actively managed equity funds.
Diversify into large-cap, mid-cap, and hybrid funds for balanced growth.
Review the portfolio with a Certified Financial Planner every year.
2. Enhance Monthly SIP Contributions
Increase SIPs to Rs 2.5-3 lakh, matching your investment capacity.
Prioritise equity mutual funds for better compounding over 14 years.
Allocate a small portion to debt funds for stability.
3. Reevaluate Direct Equity and ETFs
Limit ETFs due to their passive nature and tracking errors.
Focus on direct equity only if you have time for active monitoring.
Otherwise, shift to professionally managed equity funds.
4. Diversify US ESOP Holdings
Reduce dependency on your company’s ESOPs.
Gradually liquidate and reinvest in Indian equity and international mutual funds.
Diversification will safeguard against market volatility and currency risks.
5. Leverage Provident Fund Efficiently
PF will act as a stable component of your retirement corpus.
Do not withdraw unless essential.
6. Address Real Estate Investments
Analyse the rental yield and growth potential of your properties.
If returns are below expectations, consider selling one property.
Reinvest proceeds in mutual funds for higher returns and liquidity.
Tax Efficiency and New Rules
Equity Mutual Funds
Long-term capital gains (LTCG) above Rs 1.25 lakh are taxed at 12.5%.
Short-term capital gains (STCG) are taxed at 20%.
Plan withdrawals strategically to reduce tax liability.
Debt Funds
Gains are taxed as per your income slab.
Use systematic withdrawal plans for efficient taxation.
ESOPs and Real Estate
ESOPs will attract capital gains tax upon sale.
Real estate gains are taxed under capital gains rules.
Invest gains from property sales into mutual funds to save on taxes.
Additional Recommendations
1. Adequate Life and Health Insurance
Ensure you have term insurance covering at least 10 times your annual income.
Maintain comprehensive health insurance for your family.
2. Emergency Fund
Keep six months’ expenses in a liquid fund or savings account.
This ensures liquidity during unforeseen circumstances.
3. Monitor and Rebalance Portfolio
Regularly review asset allocation with a Certified Financial Planner.
Adjust based on market conditions and financial milestones.
Final Insights
You are on the right track with your disciplined investing approach. To ensure you reach Rs 10 crore by 50, optimise your investments, enhance tax efficiency, and diversify risks. Focus on actively managed funds, reduce dependence on real estate, and leverage your high savings potential. Regular monitoring and strategic decisions will make your goal achievable.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP

Chief Financial Planner

www.holisticinvestment.in
https://www.youtube.com/@HolisticInvestment

...Read more

Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |7122 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Nov 25, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Nov 22, 2024Hindi
Money
Hello Ramalingam Ji, I am 44 years old, working in IT and live in Bengaluru. I am unmarried at this moment. I live in a rented house. Here are my investments breakups - 1.45 Cr in Equity Shares, 5 Lakhs in MF, 27 Lakhs in PPF, 20 Lakhs in EPF, 7 Lakhs in NPS, and 14 Lakhs in FD as an Emergency Fund. I have a health insurance of 30L apart from the office provided one. My monthly in hand salary about 2.2 Lakhs. And my monthly expenses including rent, insurances, sports/gym subscription, food and others comes about 75 - 80 Thousands a month. I invest 1.1 Lakhs in equity shares, 18 Thousands in RDs to meet my certain onetime expenditures in a years such as insurances, internet payments etc. I do not have any loans. How do you think I should go about so I could purchase a house/flat as well as have enough investments using which I could live comfortably. I also want to know if at all possible to retire by 50 or 55 years? will it even makes sense purchasing a house/flat since I have no one after me. Thanking you in advanced.
Ans: You are in a strong financial position. You have diverse investments and stable income. Your disciplined approach reflects a clear financial vision.

This response provides detailed insights into buying a house, early retirement, and optimising your investments.

Understanding Your Current Financial Health
1. Investments and Emergency Funds

Rs 1.45 crore in equity is a significant achievement.

Your Rs 14 lakh emergency fund is well-planned. It ensures liquidity during emergencies.

 

2. Monthly Income and Expenses

You save and invest a substantial portion of your Rs 2.2 lakh monthly salary.

Expenses are well-balanced, leaving you with Rs 1.1 lakh for investments.

 

3. Health Insurance Coverage

You have Rs 30 lakh health insurance, which safeguards against medical emergencies.

Office-provided insurance adds additional security.

House Purchase Consideration
1. Evaluate the Need for a House

A house is not necessary unless it enhances your quality of life.

With no dependents, consider renting for flexibility.

 

2. Financial Implications of Buying a House

Buying a house requires a long-term financial commitment.

EMIs will reduce your ability to save and invest aggressively.

 

3. Alternative Options

Continue renting if the cost is reasonable and suits your lifestyle.

Investing the funds earmarked for a house can yield better returns over time.

Early Retirement by 50 or 55
1. Analyse Monthly Expenses Post-Retirement

Estimate future monthly expenses, considering inflation.

Rs 75,000 today could become Rs 1.5 lakh in 15 years.

 

2. Calculate the Required Corpus

To withdraw Rs 1.5 lakh monthly, you need Rs 4.5 crore.

This corpus ensures financial independence throughout retirement.

 

3. Utilise Current Investments for Growth

Your investments in equity, MF, PPF, EPF, and NPS must compound consistently.

Diversify your portfolio to balance growth and stability.

Investment Optimisation
1. Focus on Equity Mutual Funds

Increase your MF investments for long-term growth.

Actively managed funds offer higher returns compared to index funds.

 

2. Avoid Direct Mutual Funds

Direct funds lack professional guidance and may lead to errors.

Regular funds through a Certified Financial Planner ensure optimised returns.

 

3. Maximise NPS Contributions

NPS provides additional tax benefits under Section 80CCD(1B).

It supports your retirement corpus with equity exposure and lower risk.

 

4. Reassess Fixed Deposits

Rs 14 lakh in FDs offers safety but lower returns.

Shift a portion to debt funds or balanced funds for better inflation protection.

Emergency Fund and Risk Management
1. Maintain Adequate Liquidity

Keep six months' expenses in liquid investments like FDs or short-term funds.

This ensures quick access to funds during emergencies.

 

2. Evaluate Insurance Adequacy

Your current health cover of Rs 30 lakh is sufficient.

Ensure critical illness or personal accident cover if not already included.

Retirement Income Planning
1. Generate Passive Income

Explore dividend-paying funds for steady income during retirement.

Consider systematic withdrawal plans (SWPs) post-retirement for tax efficiency.

 

2. Ladder Your Investments

Align investments to meet milestones like early retirement and healthcare needs.

Staggered withdrawals reduce risks during market downturns.

Tax Planning
1. Optimise Tax Benefits

Maximise contributions to tax-saving instruments like PPF and NPS.

Consider tax-efficient mutual fund categories to reduce liability.

 

2. Understand Capital Gains Taxation

Equity mutual funds' LTCG above Rs 1.25 lakh is taxed at 12.5%.

Short-term gains attract 20% tax, so plan redemptions wisely.

Final Insights
Early retirement and comfortable living are achievable for you. Focus on growing your corpus with equity and balanced investments. Renting a house is practical if buying doesn't align with your goals. Work with a Certified Financial Planner to optimise your investments and ensure a secure financial future.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in
https://www.youtube.com/@HolisticInvestment

...Read more

Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |7122 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Nov 25, 2024

Listen
Money
Hello Sir, I want to invest 5k per month in mutuals fund. Am targeting 15acs in next 16years. Can you pls suggest me good fund?
Ans: Investing Rs. 5,000 per month for 16 years to achieve Rs. 15 lakhs is a commendable goal. A systematic investment plan (SIP) in mutual funds can help achieve this. Your focus should be on selecting funds that align with your risk appetite and long-term horizon.

Understanding Your Target
Your target is Rs. 15 lakhs in 16 years.
This requires consistent returns from equity mutual funds.
Equity funds are ideal for long-term goals due to their growth potential.
Investment Strategy
Focus on Equity-Dominated Funds

Equity funds have the potential for higher long-term growth.
Diversify across large-cap, flexi-cap, and mid-cap funds.
Actively Managed Funds Preferred

Actively managed funds outperform index funds over long durations.
A good fund manager can provide better returns than passive funds.
Avoid Direct Funds

Investing through a Certified Financial Planner ensures professional advice.
Regular funds with guidance offer better portfolio tracking and rebalancing.
Monitor and Review Regularly

Review your investments yearly to stay aligned with your goal.
Make changes based on performance and market conditions.
Suggested Fund Categories
Large-Cap Funds

These funds provide stability and moderate growth.
They invest in well-established companies with strong performance records.
Flexi-Cap Funds

These funds invest across large, mid, and small-cap companies.
They offer flexibility and diversification.
Mid-Cap Funds

Mid-cap funds offer higher growth potential but come with moderate risk.
Suitable for long-term wealth creation.
Hybrid Funds

These funds balance equity and debt exposure.
They provide moderate risk with consistent returns.
Tax Considerations
Equity Fund Taxation

Long-term capital gains above Rs. 1.25 lakh are taxed at 12.5%.
Short-term capital gains are taxed at 20%.
Tax-Efficient Withdrawals

Plan withdrawals strategically to minimise tax liability.
Hold funds for the long term to benefit from favourable tax rates.
Other Recommendations
Build an Emergency Fund

Set aside at least six months’ expenses in a liquid fund.
This provides financial security during emergencies.
Stay Invested for the Entire Duration

Equity investments need time to grow and overcome volatility.
Avoid premature withdrawals to maximise returns.
Disciplined Investing

Continue SIPs without interruption to achieve your goal.
Market fluctuations should not deter your commitment.
Final Insights
With disciplined investing and the right fund selection, achieving Rs. 15 lakhs in 16 years is possible. Focus on equity funds for long-term growth and consult a Certified Financial Planner for professional guidance.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP
Chief Financial Planner

www.holisticinvestment.in
https://www.youtube.com/@HolisticInvestment

...Read more

DISCLAIMER: The content of this post by the expert is the personal view of the rediffGURU. Investment in securities market are subject to market risks. Read all the related document carefully before investing. The securities quoted are for illustration only and are not recommendatory. Users are advised to pursue the information provided by the rediffGURU only as a source of information and as a point of reference and to rely on their own judgement when making a decision. RediffGURUS is an intermediary as per India's Information Technology Act.

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