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Anu

Anu Krishna  |839 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Apr 06, 2024

Anu Krishna is a mind coach and relationship expert.
The co-founder of Unfear Changemakers LLP, she has received her neuro linguistic programming training from National Federation of NeuroLinguistic Programming, USA, and her energy work specialisation from the Institute for Inner Studies, Manila.
She is an executive member of the Indian Association of Adolescent Health.... more
Asked by Anonymous - Mar 09, 2024Hindi
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Relationship

Hi I am a 36 years old single guy. I was diagnosed with OCD at the age of 20. Life has been a struggle for me and I feel very frustrated. I don't have proper source of Income. My parents don't support or understand me. I feel very lonely. I want to marry but my financial and mental health don't allow me. I do emotional eating and Masturbate daily. When I see couples moving around I feel very bad. I even had paid sex. I want quit emotional eating and Mastubation. How to do it?

Ans: Dear Anonymous,
Kindly seek an appointment with a therapist who specializes in handling OCD.
You absolutely need support to eliminate the root cause of compulsive behaviors as these can rob you of your peace of mind and also lead to a very poor quality of life. Once you start to feel better after a few sessions, you will see a change in your eating habits and also you will start making better choices in and with life. Please seek an appointment at the earliest...

All the best!

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Anu

Anu Krishna  |839 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Oct 01, 2021

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I'm married and mother to a 5 months old beautiful daughter. Before and after marriage I was working in a company as HR executive. I loved my job. Then I left my job because me and my husband was working in different locations. When I shifted with him, I tried a lot to get a job. But all in vain. Maybe because of this I started getting frustrated. It affected my personal life a lot. I used to blame my husband as he never ever told me to quit. But somehow...... Then we shifted to our home town because of lockdown and my husband's WFH. And my frustration level is increasing day by day. I lost everything. How to enjoy, happiness everything. I want to be happy but.... It's like I can't do anything for my daughter as well as for myself. I hate dependency and I am totally dependent on my husband even for a single penny. I tried to commit suicide many times. Then I thought I should talk to my mother. I did. But nothing helped. She used to tell me always that I have to live for the child now. Then I thought what I could do for her. Because if I m alone, sad, depressed from inside how can I be happy outside? I used to motivate people and right now I want to end up my life. Can you help please?
Ans: Dear TS, What do you want for yourself? What do you want to make out of life?

You can choose to be sad and depressed and keep thinking of what hasn’t happened. Always do things that set you free, always think of things that set you free.

The more you choose to focus on what could have happened and what should happen, it leads you to a dark place.

Why think that you are dependent? Marriage is a space where both partners must have the comfort of growing together.

Let’s say someday if you have to step up and work instead of your husband, will you call your husband a dependent person then?

We all go through phases in life that challenge our mind and mental state. The sooner you accept this, the better you will sail through this.

After all, nothing is permanent. Instead of brooding over, if you gave yourself a fresh start and looked at opportunities in a different way, you may find something that is better than what you had initially been searching for.

And if ending your life, you think makes it easier, remember, it never has and it never will and DO think of your daughter who is solely dependent on you.

Please work with a Mental Health expert who will help put your priorities together and a good action plan as well to achieve simple goals in life.

Start first by being outdoors in Nature and please be in GRATITUDE for what you have in life. That will make you trust that LIFE IS GOOD! Surround yourself with people that nourish you.

Be in the best mind space. Best wishes.

..Read more

Anu

Anu Krishna  |839 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Sep 06, 2021

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I’m facing depression problem since last 28 years during that period I have shivering in hands and legs, have brain disorder, appetite is not proper, I don't enjoy anything. I don't like taking bath, don't like going out, don't like changing clothes, every moment feels suicidal but I have controlled myself these years. I have also opted for psychiatric treatment, I come out of it but again after a year or so I again get depression there is some chemical imbalance in my brain. I got Divorced because of this disease my life got shattered. I really don't know what to do.
Ans: Dear A, I can only imagine what you are going through. Do you want to feel better not for anyone else, but for yourself?

Break this mould that you are in please. You already have by sharing here on this platform. So that’s a courageous step towards a better life.

How can you do this?

This may sound very instructional, but since you aren’t a client that I work directly with, this is something I can offer you on top of my mind.

Firstly, please work with a Psychiatrist who also believes in alternate intensive Mind Therapy that you absolute need right now.

They need to work in tandem for you to get to a better state. There will be a point in time when the medication can be weaned off as the alternate therapy starts to work on you. That’s why both these experts need to see eye to eye and work for you and with you and not stick to their ground. Please touch base with groups/friends who can help you

In the interim, do the following almost like a prescription…it can be an ally to you.

  • I want you to cover your walls with pictures of positive quotes and images that you can see first thing in the morning
  • Hang out with people who nurture and nourish you
  • Eat only freshly cooked food without preservatives
  • Everyday pen down 5 things that you are grateful for
  • Spend time with Nature; walk barefoot on grass, immerse your hand into water for a few minutes everyday and let go of what doesn’t serve you
  • Spend time going back into places in your mind when you actually were happy; celebrate it

And most importantly, move in with your family and allow them to step into care for you till you are back on your feet.

Please take care and I wish you a good healing.

..Read more

Anu

Anu Krishna  |839 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Dec 12, 2023

Asked by Anonymous - Sep 22, 2023Hindi
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Hello First i request you to please don't reveal my name here I am 37 years married having 2 kids ( 7 & 6 Years) I have problem with anger i use to get angry on small things or debate & sometimes loudly shout I am unable to control my anger Next i have addiction of porn chat which i want to stop I also have problems of acidity with Eeylead pain & burning sensation in penis Doctor told me the pain of eyelead is due to anxiety for the burning doctor has advised me lots of report which i did but all was normal but i have the problem still Please guide if you have any suggestions to stop all of these
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
Kindly visit a good GP for sorting out issues related to your physical health. It can give you a second opinion on why your problems are still persisting.
Also, spending time on activities that don't challenge the mind productively will make you feel upset or drained out. That might explain your anger as you possibly are not experiencing a sense of fulfilment.
Why not use the same time to learn something new OR actually hit the gym? This not only distracts but also will help channelize your energy into more meaningful things.
Your children are young and full of energy. Spend time and create memories with them and your family. This time investment goes a long way in strengthening family bonds and will also teach the children the importance of family and family values.
Most often a small tweak to our way of living can help not only keep our mental and physical health in order but also create a better environment for our loved ones.

All the best!

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Anu

Anu Krishna  |839 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Jan 08, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Dec 27, 2023Hindi
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I am experiencing sexless marriage since last 12 years due some catastrophic mentality of the spouse. Tried to have sex outside but I don't like it as its lacking of emotions and safety. I cant afford that financially too. I am now 48 and really got frustrated affecting my abilities, manifestations of which show in my professional life too. Cant leave her, cant blame her, cant curse her because we both love each other too much. She herself tell me to go outside for sex. Cant take her to psychiatrist or counselor too as she resist for this. She used to be in depression too but show herself normal. She is working and stress factor too is there. Due to her attitude, misunderstanding or thinking, she is also not happy herself. I have consulted doctor for myself and for her too but is not fruitful as she don't attend the clinic. I feel I need a partner for my psychological siphoning, but no way. I feel I am cursed for no intimate relationship. As of now I do get engaged in my work and try to get happiness sexually by masturbation but not happy at all. I am thinking of castration too to get the urge of sex be killed. In my family we dont have sound conversations too due to anger, loudness, etc. I always have to be calm as I can. I feel all feuds will vanish one day but its taking too much time. What to do?
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
I do empathize with you; but what problem are you trying to solve?
Putting your marriage back together and connect better with your wife OR whining about your sex life and wondering how to satisfy yourself?
If it's the former, then focus on how and what can be done to revive her faith in herself...if counselors aren't working, you might have to take on the mantle of getting the relationship back on track but also letting her know that she needs to do the same. She also must be made aware that the effort must be from her side as well. It's an uphill task but I would emphasize that focus on getting your marriage back on track. It will channel your energies better without leading to frustrations.
Who knows....when things improve, she and you might actually be able to revive your sex life as well.

All the best!

..Read more

Latest Questions
Shekhar

Shekhar Kumar  |120 Answers  |Ask -

Leadership, HR Expert - Answered on May 06, 2024

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How to begin career in interior designing. What is the salary package
Ans: Starting a career in interior design requires a combination of education, skill development, practical experience, and networking. Consider pursuing a formal education in interior design from a reputable institution. Look for programs that offer comprehensive coursework, hands-on training, and opportunities for internships or practical experience. You can choose from diploma programs, bachelor's degrees, or master's degrees in interior design or related fields. Familiarize yourself with the principles and elements of design, spatial planning, color theory, materials, furniture styles, and construction techniques. Develop proficiency in design software such as AutoCAD, SketchUp, Revit, and Adobe Creative Suite, which are commonly used in the industry. Create a portfolio showcasing your design projects, concepts, and creative abilities. Include a variety of projects that demonstrate your skills in different areas of interior design, such as residential, commercial, hospitality, or retail spaces. Your portfolio is your visual resume and will be essential when applying for jobs or seeking clients. Seek opportunities to gain practical experience through internships, apprenticeships, or entry-level positions in design firms, architectural firms, or interior design studios. Practical experience will provide valuable insights, mentorship, and hands-on experience in real-world design projects. Seek opportunities to gain practical experience through internships, apprenticeships, or entry-level positions in design firms, architectural firms, or interior design studios. Practical experience will provide valuable insights, mentorship, and hands-on experience in real-world design projects. Decide whether you want to work as an independent freelance designer or join a design firm or agency. Starting your own business offers flexibility and autonomy but requires entrepreneurial skills and the ability to manage clients, projects, and finances effectively. Regarding salary packages in interior design, they can vary significantly based on factors such as location, experience, specialization, clientele, and the type of projects undertaken. Entry-level interior designers may start with modest salaries, but as they gain experience and reputation in the industry, their earning potential increases. 

The average salary for an interior designer in India varies by experience and company, starting from entry level with less than three years of experience earning an average salary of ?2.6 lakhs per year; mid-career between 4–9 years of experience earns an average salary of ?4.5 lakhs per year; experienced: 10–20 years of experience earns an average salary of ?7.1 lakhs per year; independent: ?50,000–1 lakh per month or more; and top companies can pay ?22–24 lakhs per year on average, up to ?44 lakhs per year with relevant experience as well.

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Shekhar

Shekhar Kumar  |120 Answers  |Ask -

Leadership, HR Expert - Answered on May 06, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Mar 17, 2024Hindi
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What should I do I have cgpa 6.1 in btech now till sem 3rd year ,1st sem. Currently I'm in 3rd year. So , i should prepare for upsc civil services or UPSC engineering services.
Ans: Deciding between UPSC Civil Services and UPSC Engineering Services requires careful consideration of your interests, strengths, and career goals. Reflect on your interests, strengths, and career aspirations. If you have a passion for public administration, policymaking, and addressing societal issues, UPSC Civil Services may be a better fit for you. On the other hand, if you enjoy technical challenges, problem-solving, and contributing to infrastructure development, UPSC Engineering Services may align better with your interests. UPSC Civil Services often involve a diverse range of roles, including administrative, diplomatic, and policymaking positions, with opportunities to work at the national, state, or district levels. UPSC Engineering Services primarily focuses on engineering roles in government departments and organizations, with responsibilities related to project management, design, and implementation of infrastructure projects. I would recommend that you pursue civil services, which may indeed be a better choice for you. Civil services provide opportunities to lead and make decisions that influence public policies, programs, and initiatives. As a civil servant, you can contribute to governance, social development, and nation-building by addressing key issues and challenges facing the country. Civil services offer avenues for continuous learning, professional growth, and skill development. You can undertake training programs, attend workshops, and participate in capacity-building initiatives to enhance your knowledge, skills, and leadership abilities throughout your career. Civil services provide the job security, stability, and prestige associated with serving in the government sector. Civil servants enjoy various perks, benefits, and allowances, along with opportunities for promotion and career advancement based on performance and seniority.

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Archana

Archana Deshpande  |30 Answers  |Ask -

Image Coach, Soft Skills Trainer - Answered on May 06, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Jan 23, 2024Hindi
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Hello Madam, My daughter is 12 yr old and is in class 7th. She is not at all interested in studies. She is also not interested in making new friends. She is always busy on playing games on mobile. Studies just one week prior to exams. Her behavior is also becoming rude day by day. Kindly suggest.
Ans: Hello!!
The addiction to mobile after COVID is a menace every parent is facing. The good part is she is aware about her exams and studies at least one week before her exams.

The rude behaviour, lack of focus on studies is all stemming from the mobile games. They are highly addictive and the thrill they give is beyond imagination. Slowly but surely you have to take away the mobile from her, that's the only way to help her look for other sources to keep her busy .Friends, new skills and studies will get her attention only when the mobile is away.

Allocate time for food, sleep, studies, play time and also mobile time( can't just take away the mobile, has to be weaned away from it gradually), in a day. Set a timer for the mobile usage, she has to return the mobile as soon as the timer bell rings.

Pls remember you are the adult here, she is just a child. Guide her, lead her towards better and interesting things to do. You all as a family have to stop sitting with the mobile, start reading books ,play board games , learn a new skill, sing songs, cook together, bake together, you make everything at home an interesting activity, joyful activity, why will a child sit on the mobile?
It is a going to be lot of hard work for you and if the end result of this is seeing your daughter away from the mobile, laughing and talking to her friends, playing around, studying well.....then this is worth all the effort.

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Shekhar

Shekhar Kumar  |120 Answers  |Ask -

Leadership, HR Expert - Answered on May 06, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - May 03, 2024Hindi
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I am U VENKATESWARA RAO Retired Office Superintendent in BSNL on VRS I am 62 years old. No time pass. Can I have any WFH job? I have passed B.Com with Tyewriting English Higher grade during 1981-1982.
Ans: Absolutely, there are remote job opportunities available for individuals with a diverse range of skills and experiences, including those who have retired from traditional office-based roles. With your administrative experience from your role as an office superintendent at BSNL, you could work as a virtual assistant, providing administrative support to businesses or entrepreneurs remotely. Tasks may include email management, scheduling appointments, data entry, and conducting research. Many companies hire remote customer service representatives to handle customer inquiries, resolve issues, and provide support via phone, email, or chat. Your communication skills and experience in dealing with customers could be valuable in this role. If you have a strong understanding of subjects like English or commerce, you could explore opportunities for online tutoring. Many platforms offer remote tutoring positions where you can teach students of various ages and levels. Leverage your extensive experience in the telecommunications industry by offering consulting services to businesses or individuals remotely. You could provide advice, guidance, and expertise in areas related to telecommunications, customer service, or administration. When exploring WFH job opportunities, be sure to research reputable companies, familiarize yourself with remote work tools and technologies, and tailor your resume and cover letter to highlight relevant skills and experiences. Additionally, consider networking within your industry or joining online communities to connect with potential employers or clients. With the right approach and determination, you can find fulfilling WFH opportunities that suit your skills and preferences.

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Archana

Archana Deshpande  |30 Answers  |Ask -

Image Coach, Soft Skills Trainer - Answered on May 06, 2024

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my son is 8 year old studying in Class 3 . The classes occus is in Second shift from 11.30 am to 5.30 PM . after comming from the scholl he tired and not able to study in night . plz suggest the Correct time table for the second shift school child so that we can manage his tireness and keep improving him in balanced way.
Ans: Hello Saket!!

It is unfair to expect a child all of 08 to come back home from school late in the evening and study(I am assuming he is home by 6.30 PM). You can shift his study time to the morning hours, say from 8 to 10 AM.

Now to manage his well being after coming back from school.
Take care of the following-
1. it's a good time to introduce time management to your 8yr old son
2. on a Sunday when both of you are relatively free, involve him to make a time table for studies. Stick the time table in a place where it is visible to him
3.let him relax for an hr after coming back from school
4.if you assume 10 PM is his sleeping time( the child needs 9-12 hrs of sleep), and 7:45 PM is dinner time, some where between dinner time and sleeping time, see if you can manage a little bit of HW/studies
5. there is so much happening at school apart from studies, he is developing - social skills, coping mechanism, developing new ideas ,etc....let home be a place where he is loved, nourished and a place to relax and rejuvenate
6. have fixed time to study and make him study during those hours.

You cannot be rigid, every child's requirements are different try out what suits you and your family!!

Happy parenting!!

...Read more

Ravi

Ravi Mittal  |187 Answers  |Ask -

Dating, Relationships Expert - Answered on May 06, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Apr 30, 2024Hindi
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Hi I am 27 M. I am a introverted person but not that much I love meeting new people, party, travelling etc. But Whenever I try to talk with any girl I forgot everything that I want to express and also feels bit nervous and shy. So many thoughts are in my mind but I am unable to express that in front of others, I simply forgot. How can I improve my communication skills with other girls and feel confident about myself.
Ans: Dear Anonymous,

What you are facing is very common. The first step is to remember that you are not alone. Even the best of us face it. Second, have you tried dating apps? There is no speaking face to face, which substantially helps with the nervousness. You can chat with people for days before you even decide to meet them in person. You can also attract the people who can perfectly match your vibe, making it easier for you to feel more comfortable and relaxed with them.

Other than that, here are few tips you can try-

Start small. Start with small talks. You don't need to have a full blown conversation in the very first attempt. Say Hi, smile, or ask her about her day. If you feel shy to speak, master the art of listening. Women love a man who can actively listen. Third, be genuine and be yourself. The more you pretend to impress a girl, the trickier it can be to keep up the act. Moreover, you will be preoccupied with your pretense and won't focus on the quality of the conversation. Be you. Fourth, learn from your experience. Good or bad, experiences can teach us a lot. Reflect on the past conversations; the ones that went well and ones that didn't. Identify what worked and what needs improvement. And lastly, be patient. Building confidence can take a while. Not all of us are naturally blessed with it. Some of us have to work for it. But in the end, it will be worth your while.

Best Wishes.

...Read more

Ravi

Ravi Mittal  |187 Answers  |Ask -

Dating, Relationships Expert - Answered on May 06, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Apr 30, 2024Hindi
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To start with I am in my early sixties . We have a large WhatsApp group of undergraduate college batchmates where sometimes news about batchmates / their families get posted . A married lady batchmate, located in one of the metro cities reached out to me over phone to offer her condolences / sympathies for loss of a family member that I had suffered . While I didn't personally know the lady , found the gesture empathetic & touching . So when the next physical batch meet took place I sought her out to thank her and we chatted for some time too ! Subsequently , we started being in touch , she mentioned that she found my gesture ( asking her to sit besides me to chat up very affectionate ) both through chat and calls and started sharing about each other , even personal matters . And now it seems that the relationship is moving in to a clear zone of intimacy ! And we talk pretty affectionately and frequently these days and it seems we make a good chatting pair . She is pretty attached to her grown up children and probably with a non intimate, dysfunctional, unsatisfactory marriage dragging on . She says her relationship in her marriage has totally failed right from beginning but she has not been able to do anything about that so far . It seems that the children are with the mother ! I find her balanced, affectionate and would like understand if something akin to a long term relationship /companionship would be possible . So have asked her to share about me, about our mutual feelings to her kids . Have also sounded her that if her husband gets to know about this relationship - it might lead to a family issue including formal break up of her marriage. And I am truly concerned about that . But she is very wishy wishy in her ideas about possible course of action , way forward .And I don't want her to get hurt or disappointed nor I want to be placed in a emotional drag. My questions are 1. Can this relationship go anywhere ? And if yes , what is the minimum expected from her ? 2. Can we be just be chatting friends ? Doesn't seem so as we talk & share as if we are a couple ? 3. What should we both do to avoid any possible emotional trauma to each of us ? (A still active and adorable senior citizen without strings and without a care in the world )
Ans: Dear Anonymous,

I am glad you found a genuine companion. I understand that you both care a great deal about each other and that is rare in today's day and age. Now coming to your questions-

1) It most definitely can. But that depends on the course of action your partner is willing to take. I assume that neither one of you would like to formally tag it as a relationship till she is married to another man, no matter how the marriage is. So, in that case, your partner must have a clear discussion about the same with her husband and you can proceed from there. But going ahead and having a romantic relationship while she is married to someone else would not be ethical and even when she has every right to seek happiness in her life, it would be her who faces all the societal judgment.

2) You can be two friends chatting with each other. Friends do share a lot, even personal matters. Having said that, it did not sound to me that you are in that platonic friend zone anymore. You have grown to like each other a little more and given the circumstances, it is perfectly alright. But to be more than friends, it is important for your partner to first speak to her current husband and consider separating. But at the end of the day, it is her decision. If she doesn't want to formally end it, you would have two options. One, love each other in secret and never have the chance to show off your love to the world. Two, break it off and either try to remain friends or sever ties altogether.

3) Don't have unrealistic expectations. We are all guilty of it time and again. In this case, even though her marriage isn't perfect- you know and she knows it too- it isn't easy to let go of a relationship people spend years to build. Take things slow and let her make her own decisions. If you expect she will leave her marriage for you, you are setting yourself up for disappointment. It might happen, but then again, it might not. Focus on being each other's companion. You can't help how you feel, but that does not mean you have to act on it right now.

One more thing- if you can see yourself getting hurt, I would suggest reconsidering the relationship. Every relationship has in its capacity to cause emotional trauma. That's the thing about romance- it can make or break you.

Best Wishes.

...Read more

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