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Should I Have a Child? Weighing Financial Concerns and Pressure

Ravi

Ravi Mittal  |722 Answers  |Ask -

Dating, Relationships Expert - Answered on Jan 16, 2025

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Asked by Anonymous - Jan 16, 2025Hindi
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Relationship

I am 31 years old and have been married for 6 years. My relatives keep pressuring me and scaring me, saying that I haven’t had a child yet and that I should have one now. However, we are not financially prepared at the moment. We have just bought a house, and the loans have recently started, which exhausted all our savings for the down payment. My husband’s family had a very weak financial background. They had nothing, and he struggled a lot, even living in someone else’s house to complete his education. Only he knows how hard it was. Now, his salary has improved, and I am also employed. Additionally, we are entirely responsible for my in-laws, as my husband’s elder brother neither got married nor provides any support for the parents. We are under a lot of pressure right now, but everyone just keeps asking us when we are going to have a child. I’ve seen how my husband struggled with limited finances when the family was financially weak, and I don’t want to show such hardships to our children. On top of that, I am overweight and focused on losing weight to ensure I can be healthy. I feel very stressed and confused, but my husband is fully supportive of me.

Ans: Dear Anonymous,
First of all, I am really glad that you are being so responsible and practical, rather than making such life-changing decisions based on emotions alone. Second, don't worry about other's opinions; they might have your best interest at heart, but this should be solely your decision. You should have a child only when you are ready to have one- both mentally, physically, and financially. And no hard and fast rule says you should have a child within a certain year of your marriage. Two people in a marriage is a whole family too; a child can add to the joy if that is what you want. But if not, your family is still complete. Please remember that.

Take care of your health and your mind. If you are worried about your age, you can always go see a doctor and see how many years you can delay this. Rushing is never a good idea.

Best Wishes.

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Asked by Anonymous - Feb 20, 2026Hindi
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Hello I am married for last 11 years and we have a 9 year old son. We have seen many ups and downs during the early year of our marriage, in our relationship and in economically as well. I even left my work after my son was born, spent all my savings fulfilling his and my wishes. My husband only use to provide us with the basics. We live with our in laws. My father in law has all the control our the money we earn in our business and my mother in law wants to control the whole house. So I limited myself to my room to avoid any arguments. My husband promised me monthly allowance before I got pregnant for the first time. Which I never received. Now I started working again and I am earning well, I finally feel happy again. But now he started asking for second child. Which I actually never want. Because nothing changed from his side. He doesn't provide us with much, we need a bigger house if we have another kid as I can't raise Children with so much age gap in one room as our son still sleeps with us. He only say it will happen eventually but that is what he said even before. I do want a second child but I know I will never be happy with it. Because I will have to leave work and he will not provide us that well. Kindly suggest me what to do
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
Statement 01: But now he started asking for second child. Which I actually never want.
Statement 02: I do want a second child but I know I will never be happy with it.

Both are just the opposite; what you are dealing with is confusions around your lack of independence and financial freedom. Do address these first as a couple before planning for the next child. If you value a work life, then do so in a manner that it does not become an issue in your marriage. Similarly, marriage need not become a chain that will keep you away from working.
Kindly address money issues that seem to be working against your peace within the marriage.
- have an honest chat around why you wish to work
- why feeling financially secure is important to you
If there are basic ideology issues around this, seek the help of a professional who can guide you through the mismatch of value systems between the husband and the wife.

All the best!
Anu Krishna
Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
Drop in: www.unfear.io
Reach me: Facebook: anukrish07/ AND LinkedIn: anukrishna-joyofserving/

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Asked by Anonymous - May 01, 2026Hindi
Career
My son got 94.79 persentile and ranl crl 81537 , OBC NCL 26047 home state ANDHRA PRADESH. Is it possible to gets seat in NITS , IIITS , Gifts
Ans: HI,
GREETINGS FROM THE REDIFFGURUS!

Based on your son's rank and domicile, he has a good chance of securing a seat in several NITs, IIITs, and GFTIs, particularly through the JoSAA/CSAB counseling rounds. However, it will require some patience.

He is likely to secure a seat in Chemical, Biotech, Metallurgical, or Civil Engineering at NIT Andhra Pradesh. Admission to Electrical or Mechanical Engineering may be a bit more challenging, but it could still be possible in the later rounds, depending on the availability of seats at the time of counseling.

For other NITs, there are promising opportunities in lower-tier or newer NITs. He has a good chance at NIT Srinagar, Mizoram, Nagaland, Manipur, Sikkim, and Arunachal Pradesh for ECE, EEE, Mechanical, and Civil Engineering. In NIT Raipur, NIT Hamirpur, and NIT Goa, he may find opportunities for Civil or Materials Engineering in the later rounds.

Regarding IIITs, many new IIITs have higher closing ranks, which makes them more accessible to your son's rank. Possible IIITs include Manipur, Bhagalpur, Dharwad, and Agartala. In Kalyani, CSE and ECE options might also be available.

A better option for your son would be GFTIs, where he can secure a seat in institutions such as Silchar, SLIET, and GKV (Haridwar).

Encourage him to participate actively in the counseling process until he achieves his goal.

BEST WISHES.

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