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Husband Worried About Wife's Revealing Saree Attire Worn By Father & Uncle

Anu

Anu Krishna  |1645 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Feb 03, 2025

Anu Krishna is a mind coach and relationship expert.
The co-founder of Unfear Changemakers LLP, she has received her neuro linguistic programming training from National Federation of NeuroLinguistic Programming, USA, and her energy work specialisation from the Institute for Inner Studies, Manila.
She is an executive member of the Indian Association of Adolescent Health.... more
Asked by Anonymous - Feb 01, 2025Hindi
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Relationship

It's been 6 years of my marriage, but my wife still don't know how to wear saree properly. Generally she wears salwar suit, but there are some occasions where it becomes important for her to wear saree. She wears saree twice in a week minimum. Earlier, my mother was helping her, but after 2 years of my marriage, my mother died. As of now, me, my wife, my 2 years old son, my father & Jagdish uncle (servant who is with us from more than 20 years) staying in our home. I help her many times to make her wear saree properly, but the timing when she needs to wear it is the timing when I am mostly busy. So, nowadays from 4 years my father & Jagdish uncle help her to make her wear saree properly. I suggested her to take help from youtube or get help from any female neighbour, but she said she is still not able to understand from youtube. Neither those female neighbours will come regularly for this. The problem is that there is too much of her body exposure when my father & Jagdish uncle make her wear saree. She reveals too much of her body parts while wearing saree. Any husband can feel uncomfortable if any other man will see his wife in such condition. I asked her to do it in decent way, but she said there is no other option. What should I do ??

Ans: Dear Anonymous,
Please stop this madness. I don't even understand how this started in the first place; did your wife casually ask your father and the male helper at home to help her out?
YouTube is useless? This does not come across as normal and she should know this or she knows it but chooses to overlook it. Step it and put an end this...

All the best!
Anu Krishna
Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
Drop in: www.unfear.io
Reach me: Facebook: anukrish07/ AND LinkedIn: anukrishna-joyofserving/
Asked on - Feb 05, 2025 | Answered on Feb 11, 2025
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Yes. She ask them casually & they make her wear saree. I asked her many times to stop it, but then she again ask me to help her every time she wears saree which is not possible for me because I have to look for my official works too. I can't stay with her 24 x 7. In the beginning, I don't even remember properly how this started but this is happening after my mother death only. Because my mother was the only one from whom she was taking help for saree. Please help.
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
I have already suggested to you to put an end to it. Simply say: 'Stop! This will not continue from now on'
Be firm about it so everyone knows that you are being serious.

All the best!
Anu Krishna
Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
Drop in: www.unfear.io
Reach me: Facebook: anukrish07/ AND LinkedIn: anukrishna-joyofserving/

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I am 45 and my wife 40. We are married since 10 years and have a child. We are middle class. I really care my wife and love her. I believe in women empowerment and want my wife to be good in computer knowledge, spoken english and be a smart lady . Smart not in terms of look but from mind. I am an event manager. I want my wife to take take care of house hold responsibilities and help me at work to certain extent in balanced manner. But she is unable to take care of any of my wishes, desires, ambitions. I have tried to talk several several time but every time it becomes one sided. If i speak 100 then she doesn't speak even 1. I want to keep her happy. I want to give her an identity. But i fail in all because she doesn't understand me. This nature of her is just crushing all my ambitions, desires and wishes. By nature she seems to be very simple but as we know too much of anything is bad. Several times i have told her to talk and let me know her point of view, but she doesn't. She is not mature enough to handle those responsibilities that come in our life at different times. FEEL JUST HELPLESS HOW TO TUNE MY HOUSE AND HOUSE HOLD AFFAIRS WITHOUT THE SUPPORT OF WIFE. PLEASE GUIDE.
Ans: You have made very clear what you want, but we have no clue what your wife wants. And communication — or rather the lack of it — is the problem. You obviously can’t facilitate it because she’s simply not responding and I find that highly unusual. It seems like she is unable to express herself at all, and that is certainly an issue. Please consult a professional therapist and explain yourself; I would suggest you attend the first session alone so you are able to articulate the exact nature of the problem.

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Anu Krishna  |1645 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Feb 12, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Oct 31, 2023Hindi
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MINE WIFE,AGE 41 YEARS HAS EDUCATIONAL QUALIFICATION OF B.ED,M.A AND M.ED.WE ARE MARRIED FOR 16 YEARS AND HAVE ADOPTED A SON WHO IS NOW STUDYING IN 1ST CLASS.INSPITE OF QUALIFICATION OF MY WIFE,SHE FAILS TO TEACH OUR SON PROPERLY.WHAT SHE DO IS CRAMMING EVEN IN MATHS.I TRY TO CONVINCE MINE WIFE TO READ BOOKS,NEWSPAPER BUT EVERYTIME I PUTUP THESE TOPICSSHE GETS HORRIBLE TOWARDS ME LIKE SHOUTING.SOMETIMES SHE CRIES LONELY.I ADVICE HER THAT WHATEVER WE LEARN WILL BENIFIT OUR SON BUT SHE REALLY GET UPSET WITH ANY OF MY ADVICE.I REALLY DON'T KNOW HOW TO CONVINCE HER TO CHANGE HER NEGATIVE ATTITUDE.HER HEALTH IS ALSO NOT GOOD WHICH SHE REALISES BUT WHEN I TELL HER TO HAVE PROPER DIET AND EXERCISE,SHE GETS ANNOYED WITH ME AND SCREAM WITH ME.ON THE CONTRARY,WHEN SHE FACE OUTSIDE WORLD ,SHE GETS SCARY AND DON'T COME OUT OF HOUSE.WHOEVER SUGGEST HER SOMETHING SHE AVOIDS THAT PERSON.I REALLY DON'T KNOW HOW TO OVERCOME THIS ATTITUDE OF HER.
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
Children; whether biological or adopted require the attention of the entire family.
Individuals; whether qualified or not require not just to manage home but also follow their passion.

From what I can gather, your wife can (while your son is at school) can work part-time or from home. I am sure her qualifications can help her find the right thing for her. Yes, I do understand that when she does not care for her health, it can cause you great deal of worry; but try to convey the same thing as CARE rather than an INSTRUCTION. It might help you...If she has begun to avoid people who are trying to help her, then the problem is possibly deeper than what it might be. Do get a medical check up done to rule out any vitamin deficiencies first and then if this persists, I suggest speaking with a counselor who can address any unresolved challenges that she might be facing.

All the best!

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Anu

Anu Krishna  |1645 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Aug 21, 2024

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To answer your questions - 1. My wife is giving various excuses saying kitchen is in 1st floor and not on 2nd floor. I kept cooking maid though who used to carry all lunch from 1st floor to second floor. On dinner I used to carry food for her. Now her demand is to keep all time Aya or maid the cost I couldn't simply bear. Every time she used to give various excuses to go to her father's house Both my sister and my uncle talked to her father and family, but seems her mother has a full support on this and her father is mum and they don't listen to my problem at all. I used to serve tea, breakfast to my wife before going to office since she can't come downstairs on first floor. My sister and her husband tried to communicate my wife's parent, but she refused to listen to them I don't think couples therapy will work because my wife will not ready to hear any solution. Only thing I guess is to summon her and her family to court and ask her whether she is willing to stay with me or with father.
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
My suggestions were merely trying to enable the two of you to work on your marriage. If you feel that by using force, this may work, you should know that things can get worse from thereon...Be careful about how you achieve what you set out to achieve...Of course, I do understand the frustration of making all efforts and still not having your wife relent and align is really strange and funny.
My question still is: what is the reason that she is so unwilling to stay longer periods with you? Have you tried to ask her this?

All the best!
Anu Krishna
Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
Drop in: www.unfear.io
Reach me: Facebook: anukrish07/ AND LinkedIn: anukrishna-joyofserving/

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