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Anu

Anu Krishna  |1431 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Jun 20, 2024

Anu Krishna is a mind coach and relationship expert.
The co-founder of Unfear Changemakers LLP, she has received her neuro linguistic programming training from National Federation of NeuroLinguistic Programming, USA, and her energy work specialisation from the Institute for Inner Studies, Manila.
She is an executive member of the Indian Association of Adolescent Health.... more
raji Question by raji on Jun 19, 2024Hindi
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Relationship

I'm a girl. I love a person who is married to a girl in 2020 and got seperated in 2021. they agreed to seperate permanently on 2022 and signed in a bond paper without going to court as they don't have children and she don't want any money from him. after that, the girl married someone else and have childen with second husband. now I want to marry that man but my parents are opposing and blackmailing us if I marry him, they will put him into jail. we got seperated after that he asked his first wife to sort out this issue. but she refused to help us.then he put a contested divorce case in court. first hearing is on 18.07.2024. i got engaged with other man and marriage was fixed on 5.9.2024. I'm not interested in this marriage. if i tell this to my parents,they will kill me. can anyone tell me when will my lover get divorce. how many days will happen? anyone help me legally to join with my loved one. anyone help me what to do

Ans: Dear Raji,
Maybe you are seeking an astrologer's response.
But since, this question is staring at me, I can tell you one thing...you are inviting more stress into your life by pursuing a man whose divorce has not been finalized. You are constantly going to be dealing with uncertainties and to top it all, your parents are totally against all of this.
But if you are absolutely sure that this is the man that you want to marry, then you have to be patient and wait it out. Do tell your parents about your decision and of course, you have to be strong enough to deal with their opposition as well. Be patient...

All the best!
Anu Krishna
Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
Drop in: www.unfear.io
Reach me: Facebook: anukrish07/ AND LinkedIn: anukrishna-joyofserving/

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Anu

Anu Krishna  |1431 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Oct 14, 2021

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Hi, I am stuck in my marriage relationship for some time now. I had an arranged marriage to a girl we knew in our family. She had lost her father and her mother begged me to marry her and give her a life. I agreed because I knew her. Only recently I realized that she doesn’t love me at all. I earn Rs 30,000 a month and we stay in my father’s 1BHK flat which he has shared in my name. She wants a share of my property and wants to separate me from my family. She is now threatening to divorce me and file a complaint against my parents and me for forcing her into marriage. Her mother is also quiet and doesn’t interfere. My parents are very troubled. They can’t do anything and I am feeling stuck. If I have to divorce her, I will have to pay her money which I can’t afford. Also I cannot stay with her because she doesn’t want to live with us. She only wants my money. How to solve this problem? I don’t understand. Please help.
Ans: Dear AD, Kindly consult a good lawyer who is unbiased about divorce and client rights if divorce is the path that you want to take.

Lawyers on both sides can strike a good agreement and it can be settled through mutual consent.

If you want to settle the matter amicably and continue live under the same roof, I guess it requires everyone to set aside their differences and talk about it; and I only hope for your sake that, that can happen.

Whichever the path, never tread on the path of helplessness. Instead move to a space that empowers you in any which way.

Best wishes as always!

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Anu

Anu Krishna  |1431 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Jul 01, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Jun 29, 2024Hindi
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Hello Anu, I am female 26 years of age. I am working IT working professional, I earn 1 lack 50 k per month. I come from a very good family in my family everyone is educated and I am the youngest one in my family. My mom and brother are actively looking for groom for me. There wanted me to get married to someone who had good career and coming from good family background. But recently I meet with a guy who stays in Sweden and works as bioinformatics scientist. He is very smart and he is a kind hearted guy. Slowly I got to know about him more. He is simple decent guy he earns pretty good but his parents health is really bad. And during the year 2021 his father got 2 heart stroke and one stroke. They almost in the verse of loosing their father which eventually let his father to decide to get him married to a girl. He got married at the age of 25 in the year 2021. He is currently 29 years old. He is just 2 years older to me. He didn't got chance to talk to her before marriage he pleased the girl parents a lot of time but there were very conservative and didn't allow them to talk, so he told his parents multiple occasions that he is not ready for this marriage his parents started emotionally blackmail him. there said their wanted to see his marriage before they leave this world. So he drawn so emotional and got married to her. After 2 months of marriage he got to know both of there mindset doesn't match at all. Still he given time for her to change so that he can proceed this relationship. Currently there are living together in the Sweden there live like two different strangers, he doesn't allow her to touch him there only talk when it something important to talk. He is not at all happy with the relationship, he is seeking for the divorce but the girl's parents keep on manipulating her, even she is not happy with him, she will say at times I will give divorce but after consulting her parents her decisions keep on changing. There live like 2 different strangers under the same roof. He really loves me alot. I really love his personality and want to get married to him but my parents will never agree to idea of getting married to a divorce person. My parents and my brother brought me up from childhood very over protectively. Almost in all my life I was good quoted child who listens to the elder one. I didn't have courage to speak up about all this to my parents. But at the same time I can't move on from him. I have constant pressure from my parents about marriage. Can you please tell me, how can I handle this situation, should I move on or else should I ask him to talk to my parents. Can you please suggest me. I want to genuinely spend my rest of life with him. I don't have problem with his past marriage because he was forced into that marriage. I really like his personality, he is very hardworking talented guy. He does match most of things I look for a ideal partner. Please give me the suggestion briefly because this is the decision of rest of my life.
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
You two haven't even met, right? I mean is it a virtual meet?
Even if it's a physical meeting,
- How much do you know of him to be sure that his story is what he says?
- Do you not want to know his wife's version of the entire story especially being a woman, are you not curious?

What people say and what they are might be very different. So, before calling it Love and then taking a decision, ask yourself if you want to go through the divorce with him; I mean you will be part of that journey and then his baggage...do you really want all of that?
What screams RED FLAGS to me is the fact that he keeps changing his decision on whether to leave his wife or not. So, either he has feelings for her OR his story is untrue OR he;s giving his marriage another chance. In none of these cases are you anywhere. Does this not say anything to you? Saying 'I Love You' really doesn't mean a thing when the intention is not a noble or genuine one. Kindly go deeper into his story before doing anything and making any big decisions. Your life. Your decisions...

All the best!
Anu Krishna
Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
Drop in: www.unfear.io
Reach me: Facebook: anukrish07/ AND LinkedIn: anukrishna-joyofserving/

..Read more

Anu

Anu Krishna  |1431 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Jul 02, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Jul 01, 2024Hindi
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I m 35 years old woman I married twice but my marriage not success first marriage in religion and second is interfaith marriage which I have two kid one son he is 16 year old and one daughter she is 8 year old I married my second one husband in 2009 he is in relationship with other women he have 1 kids with her then also I accepted because of my of my dad woh is poor and I have no family no house infact I have nobody support I stay with mother in laws in 2016 my daughter was born after that 6 months my inlaws is expired and after that my husband who sold the house my 2 kids and me on road nobody is helping me out he left me with kids. How I manage to register a dv case in 2020 but the case will go on an on in 2022 the order is pass for maintenance which he is not pay single money till know to me after this he is in jail for a month. my kids and I leaving alone on rent house . I am not working because of my health issues I m bagging for my kids to feed both .
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
This is so unfair and I do feel for you...
What I suggest is approach a family member who can support you for a while. During this time, contact a local NGO that helps women facing domestic issues. They will be able to put you in touch with a lawyer who in turn will work out on how the maintenance money can come to you.
So, at this point in time, you need to find someone to guide you with legal matters. Please act quickly; having children with you in this situation is no joke at all.

All the best!
Anu Krishna
Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
Drop in: www.unfear.io
Reach me: Facebook: anukrish07/ AND LinkedIn: anukrishna-joyofserving/

..Read more

Latest Questions
Kanchan

Kanchan Rai  |477 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Jan 08, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Jan 06, 2025Hindi
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Relationship
Me married from last 5years. But from last 10months me and my wife having disputes. Any reason
Ans: One possibility is communication breakdown. Over time, couples may fall into patterns where they no longer communicate as openly or effectively as they once did. Misunderstandings, unmet expectations, or unspoken feelings can lead to tension and disputes. It’s important to reflect on whether you both are expressing your thoughts and emotions clearly and listening to each other with empathy.

Another potential factor could be unmet needs or changes in individual priorities. As people grow and evolve, their needs, desires, and priorities may shift. If these changes are not acknowledged or discussed, it can create friction. Consider whether you or your wife feel that certain emotional, physical, or practical needs are not being met.

Stress from external factors, such as work, finances, or family issues, can also spill over into the relationship. If either of you is experiencing significant stress, it might contribute to increased irritability or conflict. Identifying these stressors and finding ways to manage them together can be helpful.

Changes in intimacy or connection can also lead to disputes. Emotional or physical intimacy might wane due to various reasons, such as busy schedules, health issues, or unresolved conflicts. It’s important to nurture the bond and find ways to reconnect.

Lastly, unresolved past issues can resurface and cause ongoing disputes. If there are lingering resentments or unresolved conflicts, they might continue to affect the relationship. It’s crucial to address these issues constructively, possibly with the help of a couples counselor if needed.

Reflecting on these areas and having open, honest conversations with your wife can help you both understand the root causes of your disputes. Working together to rebuild communication, connection, and trust can guide you toward a healthier, more harmonious relationship.

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Kanchan

Kanchan Rai  |477 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Jan 08, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Jan 07, 2025Hindi
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Im married from last 3 months and we are from very conservative family. My wife and i never met before marriage and after marriage i asked her she had relationship before marriage but she denied. But after 3 months i received a call from her ex that she had relationship with him he had physical relationship with her atleast for 5 years straight and she had 2 bf before him too what should i do now with this information?
Ans: allow yourself to process your feelings. It's normal to feel a range of emotions—shock, hurt, confusion, or even betrayal. Give yourself the space to sit with these emotions without rushing to any immediate decisions or confrontations.

Consider the source of this information. An ex-partner might have motives that are not aligned with the best interests of your marriage. It's crucial to evaluate the credibility of the information and not act solely on a third-party account.

Open, honest communication with your wife is key. Instead of approaching the conversation with accusations, try to express your feelings and concerns calmly. Let her share her perspective and feelings. This conversation is not just about the past, but about building trust and understanding in your relationship moving forward.

Reflect on the importance of your wife's past in the context of your marriage. Everyone has a history, and it's essential to consider how much weight you want to place on past relationships versus the present and future you are building together. Focus on your current connection, values, and shared goals.

If this information continues to weigh heavily on you, consider seeking professional support. A couples counselor can provide a safe space to explore these feelings and help you both navigate this challenge. Counseling can also strengthen your communication, trust, and emotional intimacy.

Ultimately, the decision on how to move forward lies with you both. Reflect on the foundation of your relationship, your shared values, and your vision for the future. It's about understanding, forgiveness, and whether you both are committed to growing together despite the challenges.

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