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Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |7550 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Apr 17, 2024

Ramalingam Kalirajan has over 23 years of experience in mutual funds and financial planning.
He has an MBA in finance from the University of Madras and is a certified financial planner.
He is the director and chief financial planner at Holistic Investment, a Chennai-based firm that offers financial planning and wealth management advice.... more
Sanjeev Question by Sanjeev on Dec 28, 2023Hindi
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Dear Sir, I Sanjeev Kumar, aged 42 years investing in following investment, I would like to have your option that these saving are quite enough to accumulate to fund value of 70 to 80 lac in next 10 to 12 years. 1. Aditya birla multicap fund --- Rs 1000 PM (SIP) 2. Invesco flexi cap fund -------- Rs 1000 PM (SIP) 3. Invesco india multi cap fund ----- Rs 1000 PM (SIP) 4. Kotak Multicap fund ------ Rs 1000 PM (SIP) 5. Kotak emerging equity fund ----- Rs 1000 PM (SIP) 6. Kotak tax saver fund ------- Rs 500 PM (SIP) 7. Nippon multicap fund -------- Rs 1000 PM (SIP) 8. Union Tax saver fund --------- Rs 1500 PM (SIP) 9. LIC -------------------------- 52000 (annually) 10. PPF ----------------------- 1.5 lac (annually) 11. NPS --------------------- 5000 Rs (annually) I would also like to hear from you, that whether reshuffling is required in portfolio. Eager to hear from you soon.

Ans: Your investment strategy with SIPs in various mutual funds, LIC, PPF, and NPS is diversified, which is good. To accumulate 70-80 lakhs in 10-12 years, consider increasing SIP amounts annually to align with your goal and ensure you're investing in line with your risk tolerance. Review and rebalance your portfolio periodically for optimal returns.
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Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |7550 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on May 30, 2024

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Hi sir ,I am 37 years now, my investments are like this 1,invested in hdfc pro growth ULIP plan for 10 years every year 25k and in another 2 years r remaining 2, hdfc sanchey plus 1 lakh per year for 10 years at 15 th year will get lump sum 18lakhs 3, hdfc sampoorna Niveah for 5 years each year 61k 4, lic Jeevan Lakshay for 18 years every month 5780 I pay at maturity I will get 24.7 lakhs in 2043 5, PPF every month 2k 6,mutual fund sip of 8k per month in a,Mirae asset tax saver lumsum had invested 10k now it is giving me 109% profit should I keep it or remove it b,sbi small cap fund -500/month C,Parag Parikh flexicap fund -1k/ month D,nippon India Pharma fund -500/month E,sbi nifty index -500/month F,Tata India consumer fund- 500/month G,axis multi asset allocation fund - 1000/month H,dsp natural resource lump sum 1k having 109 % returns I,quant infra fund direct -1k /month J,nippon indian small cap-1 k /month K,,sbi gold direct plan -1 k /month L,Motilal Oswal mid cap -1 k / month Plz suggest any changes and good investment plans
Ans: Enhancing Your Investment Strategy: Recommendations and Considerations
Your investment portfolio demonstrates a disciplined approach towards wealth creation and financial planning. Let's delve deeper into the various components of your portfolio and provide recommendations to optimize your investment strategy.

Fixed Income Investments:
Public Provident Fund (PPF):

Your monthly contribution of 2,000 rupees to PPF provides tax-efficient returns with a long-term investment horizon.
Continue investing to benefit from compounding growth and tax benefits over time.
Mutual Fund SIPs:
Equity Mutual Funds:

Your portfolio comprises a diversified mix of equity mutual funds, including Mirae Asset Tax Saver, SBI Small Cap, Parag Parikh FlexiCap, Nippon India Pharma, Tata India Consumer, Axis Multi Asset Allocation, and Motilal Oswal Mid Cap.
These funds offer the potential for wealth creation over the long term.
It's advisable to review the performance of each fund periodically and consider rebalancing based on market conditions and your risk tolerance.
Gold and Sectoral Funds:

You've allocated funds to sectoral funds like SBI Gold Direct Plan, DSP Natural Resource, Quant Infra Fund, and Nippon India Small Cap.
While sectoral funds and gold provide diversification benefits, they are subject to market volatility.
Monitor their performance regularly and adjust allocations accordingly to manage risk effectively.
Recommendations and Considerations:
Review ULIPs:

Surrendering existing insurance policies and reallocating the funds into mutual funds can be a strategic move to optimize your investment portfolio and potentially enhance long-term returns. Let's delve deeper into this approach and explore its benefits and considerations.

Analysis of Insurance Policies:
HDFC Pro Growth ULIP Plan:

Evaluate the ULIP's performance, charges, and insurance coverage.
Assess if the returns justify the associated costs and if the insurance coverage meets your needs.
HDFC Sanchay Plus:

Consider the opportunity cost of tying up funds for 15 years for a lump-sum payout.
Assess whether the returns align with your financial goals and if alternative investment avenues offer better growth potential.
HDFC Sampoorna Nivesh:

Review the performance and liquidity features of the plan.
Determine if the returns are competitive compared to other investment options and if the plan aligns with your risk profile.
LIC Jeevan Lakshay:

Evaluate the maturity benefits and compare them with alternative investment avenues.
Consider surrendering the policy if the returns are suboptimal or if better investment opportunities are available.
Benefits of Reallocating to Mutual Funds:
Enhanced Returns Potential:

Mutual funds, especially equity funds, have historically outperformed traditional insurance plans over the long term.
By reallocating funds, you may potentially benefit from higher returns and capital appreciation.
Greater Flexibility and Liquidity:

Mutual funds offer greater liquidity compared to insurance policies with lock-in periods.
You can access your funds as needed without penalties, providing flexibility in managing your financial goals.
Diversification and Risk Mitigation:

Mutual funds offer diversification across various asset classes and investment strategies.
Diversifying your portfolio reduces concentration risk and enhances overall risk-adjusted returns.
Considerations Before Surrendering Policies:
Surrender Charges and Penalties:

Evaluate the surrender charges and penalties associated with terminating insurance policies prematurely.
Compare the costs with the potential benefits of reallocating funds to mutual funds.
Insurance Needs and Coverage:

Assess your insurance needs and ensure adequate coverage for life, health, and other contingencies.
Consider retaining essential insurance policies while surrendering redundant or underperforming ones.
Recommended Action Plan:
Evaluate Surrender Value:

Obtain surrender values and assess the financial implications of surrendering each insurance policy.
Consider surrendering policies with high charges or low returns, prioritizing those that offer better growth potential elsewhere.
Reallocate Funds to Mutual Funds:

Identify suitable mutual funds based on your investment objectives, risk tolerance, and investment horizon.
Allocate surrendered funds to a well-diversified mutual fund portfolio across equity, debt, and other asset classes.
Regular Review and Monitoring:

Periodically review your mutual fund portfolio's performance and make adjustments as needed.
Consult with a Certified Financial Planner to ensure your investment strategy aligns with your financial goals and risk tolerance.

Surrendering insurance policies and reallocating funds to mutual funds can optimize your investment portfolio, potentially enhancing long-term returns and flexibility. By carefully evaluating your insurance needs, surrender charges, and investment opportunities, you can make informed decisions to achieve your financial objectives.
Optimize Mutual Fund Portfolio:

Regularly monitor the performance of equity and sectoral funds in your portfolio.
Consider consolidating or reallocating funds based on performance, risk, and investment objectives to maximize returns.
Asset Allocation:

Maintain a balanced asset allocation strategy across equity, debt, and alternative investments to mitigate risk and achieve long-term financial growth.
Diversification:

Ensure your portfolio is well-diversified across asset classes and investment avenues to minimize risk and maximize returns.
Regular Review:

Periodically review your investment portfolio with a Certified Financial Planner to make informed decisions and adapt to changing market dynamics and personal financial goals.
Conclusion:
By following these recommendations and considerations, you can optimize your investment portfolio, maximize returns, mitigate risks, and achieve your long-term financial objectives effectively.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in

..Read more

Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |7550 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Apr 17, 2024

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Dear Sir, I Sanjeev Kumar, aged 42 years investing in following investment, I would like to have your opinion that are these saving quite enough to accumulate to fund value of 70 to 80 lac in next 10 to 12 years. 1. Aditya birla multicap fund --- Rs 1000 PM (SIP) 2. Invesco flexi cap fund -------- Rs 1000 PM (SIP) 3. Invesco india multi cap fund ----- Rs 1000 PM (SIP) 4. Kotak Multicap fund ------ Rs 1000 PM (SIP) 5. Kotak emerging equity fund ----- Rs 1000 PM (SIP) 6. Kotak tax saver fund ------- Rs 500 PM (SIP) 7. Nippon multicap fund -------- Rs 1000 PM (SIP) 8. Union Tax saver fund --------- Rs 1500 PM (SIP) 9. LIC -------------------------- 52000 (annually) 10. PPF ----------------------- 1.5 lac (annually) 11. NPS --------------------- 5000 Rs (annually) I would also like to hear from you, that whether reshuffling is required in my portfolio. Eager to hear from you soon.
Ans: Review of your Investment Portfolio
Strengths:

Regular Savings: You're consistently contributing through SIPs in various mutual funds, PPF, NPS, and LIC, which is a positive aspect for long-term wealth creation.
Diversification: You have a good mix of multi-cap and flexi-cap funds, along with tax-saving options (ELSS) through SIPs. This provides some diversification across market capitalizations and offers tax benefits.
Areas for Potential Review:

Number of Funds: Having nine SIPs across different mutual funds can be complex to manage and rebalance. Consider consolidating some funds with similar investment styles. Three to five well-chosen funds can provide sufficient diversification.
Equity Allocation: While you have some tax-saving SIPs, the overall weightage towards equity might be on the lower side for a 10-12 year investment horizon, considering your target corpus of Rs. 70-80 lakh.
LIC Policy: LIC policies offer life insurance and savings, but their returns might be lower than pure investment options. Analyze the returns of your LIC policy and consider if it aligns with your goals. Speak to your advisor for potential alternatives.
Reshuffling Considerations (Consult a Financial Advisor for Specific Recommendations):

Consolidation: Consider merging some of your multi-cap funds with similar investment styles. This will simplify your portfolio and reduce management complexity.
Increase Equity Allocation: Discuss with a financial advisor about potentially increasing your SIP contributions in existing equity funds or starting a new SIP in a large-cap or mid-cap fund to potentially boost your equity exposure and align it better with your investment horizon.
Here are some additional tips:

Emergency Fund: Maintain an emergency fund with 3-6 months of living expenses to cover unexpected costs. Park this in a liquid instrument like a savings account or short-term debt fund.
Review and Rebalance: Regularly review your portfolio performance (at least annually) and rebalance if needed to maintain your desired asset allocation.
Goal-based Investment: Consider aligning specific investments with your retirement goals. Equity funds can be suitable for long-term goals like retirement, while debt funds can be good for shorter-term goals.
Reaching your target corpus of Rs. 70-80 lakh in 10-12 years might require:

Potentially increasing your SIP contributions in existing equity funds.
Analyzing and potentially adjusting your LIC policy if the returns don't align with your goals.
Remember:

This is a general overview, and consulting a Certified Financial Planner (CFP) is highly recommended for a personalized plan considering your specific risk tolerance, financial goals, and investment time horizon.
Disciplined investment and staying invested for the long term are crucial for achieving your financial goals.
By strategically reviewing your portfolio, potentially consolidating funds, and potentially increasing your equity allocation, you can improve your chances of reaching your desired corpus.

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Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |7550 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Aug 20, 2024

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Hello Sir I have SIP in follwing funds( all are direct fund) 1. HDFC Large and Mid Cap fund 4000 2. UTI fifty Nifty 50 index 4000 3. Motial Oswal midcap 3000 4. Quant Mid cap 3000 5. Nippon India small cap 5000 6. HDFC flexi cap 3000 7. Parag parik flexi cap 3000 8. HDFC balanced advantage fund 3000 9. ICICI prudential multi asseet 3000 10. Mirae asset large and mid cap 1500 Kindky review my portfolio i want to stay invested for next 12 years and build corpuse of 1 Crore
Ans: You have a well-diversified SIP portfolio with exposure to large-cap, mid-cap, small-cap, and multi-cap funds. Your goal of building a Rs 1 crore corpus in 12 years is achievable with a disciplined approach. Let’s go through each aspect of your portfolio, identify areas for improvement, and suggest ways to optimize it.

Portfolio Diversification

Your portfolio is diversified across different fund categories. This reduces risk and enhances the potential for growth. Diversification is crucial because it spreads your investments across various segments of the market. This approach helps balance the volatility in the equity market.

However, there’s a slight overlap between some of your funds. For instance, having multiple mid-cap and flexi-cap funds may lead to duplication. While diversification is good, too much overlap can dilute the effectiveness of your investments. It’s better to streamline your portfolio by reducing redundancy.

Review of Direct Funds

You have chosen direct funds, which offer lower expense ratios compared to regular funds. This is cost-effective, but it comes with the responsibility of monitoring and managing your investments on your own. While this saves costs, direct funds may not always be the best choice for everyone.

Investing through a Mutual Fund Distributor (MFD) who is a Certified Financial Planner (CFP) has its advantages. A CFP can provide personalized advice, regular portfolio reviews, and strategic rebalancing. This ensures your investments align with your financial goals. Additionally, regular funds provide access to expert guidance, which can enhance your portfolio's performance over the long term.

Active vs. Passive Investing

You have included an index fund in your portfolio. While index funds offer low-cost exposure to the market, they merely track an index and do not seek to outperform it. This can be a limitation when markets are volatile or when specific sectors outperform others.

Actively managed funds, on the other hand, have fund managers who aim to beat the market by selecting high-performing stocks. This approach can potentially yield higher returns. Given your long-term horizon, focusing on actively managed funds might be more beneficial. They can provide better returns by leveraging the expertise of seasoned fund managers.

Fund Allocation and Investment Strategy

Your portfolio includes a mix of large-cap, mid-cap, small-cap, flexi-cap, balanced advantage, and multi-asset funds. Let’s assess each category:

Large-Cap Funds: These funds provide stability and steady growth. They are less volatile compared to mid-cap and small-cap funds. Keeping a reasonable allocation in large-cap funds is wise, as they form the core of your portfolio.

Mid-Cap and Small-Cap Funds: These funds offer higher growth potential but come with increased volatility. While you have exposure to both, consider consolidating into fewer funds. This will reduce overlap and enhance the effectiveness of your investments.

Flexi-Cap Funds: These funds offer flexibility by investing across market capitalizations. They can adjust their allocations based on market conditions. Having one or two well-performing flexi-cap funds is sufficient.

Balanced Advantage Funds: These funds provide a balance between equity and debt. They are suitable for investors seeking moderate risk and returns. Continue with these for portfolio stability.

Multi-Asset Funds: These funds diversify across asset classes like equity, debt, and gold. They provide a hedge against market volatility. Keep a portion of your investment here to reduce risk during market downturns.

Streamlining Your Portfolio

To optimize your portfolio, consider the following steps:

Reduce Overlap: Consolidate your investments in mid-cap and small-cap funds. Instead of spreading your investments thinly across multiple funds, focus on a few that have consistently performed well. This will help you concentrate your capital in funds that are likely to generate better returns.

Focus on Performance: While selecting funds, look for consistent performance over the long term. Evaluate the fund’s track record, the expertise of the fund manager, and the investment strategy. Choose funds that align with your risk tolerance and financial goals.

Increase Allocation to High Growth Funds: Given your 12-year investment horizon, consider increasing your allocation to high-growth funds. This includes mid-cap, small-cap, and flexi-cap funds that have the potential to outperform over time. However, ensure you are comfortable with the higher risk associated with these funds.

Periodic Review and Rebalancing: Regularly review your portfolio to assess its performance and make adjustments as needed. Market conditions change, and so should your portfolio. Rebalancing ensures that your portfolio stays aligned with your goals and risk appetite.

Building the Rs 1 Crore Corpus

To achieve a corpus of Rs 1 crore in 12 years, you need to maintain a disciplined investment approach. Here’s a strategic plan:

Increase SIP Amounts Gradually: As your income grows, consider increasing your SIP amounts. Even a small increase in SIPs can significantly impact your corpus over time. This strategy leverages the power of compounding and helps you stay on track to meet your Rs 1 crore target.

Stay Invested During Market Volatility: Markets will have ups and downs. It’s important to stay invested during these times. Exiting during downturns can result in missed opportunities for growth when markets recover. Patience and discipline are key to achieving long-term financial goals.

Focus on Long-Term Growth: Avoid the temptation to chase short-term gains. Stick to your long-term investment strategy. Over time, equities have the potential to outperform other asset classes. By staying invested, you allow your investments to grow and compound.

Risk Management and Asset Allocation

Managing risk is crucial as you build your corpus. Here’s how to approach it:

Diversify Across Asset Classes: While equity should form the core of your portfolio, consider diversifying into debt and gold. This reduces the overall risk of your portfolio. Allocate a portion to safer assets like debt funds, which provide stability during market downturns.

Emergency Fund: Ensure you have an emergency fund in place. This should cover at least 6 months of living expenses. It acts as a financial safety net and prevents you from liquidating your investments during emergencies.

Insurance Coverage: Adequate insurance coverage is essential. Review your life and health insurance policies to ensure they are sufficient. This protects your family’s financial future and ensures that your savings are not eroded by unforeseen events.

Final Insights

Your portfolio is on the right track, but there is room for improvement. By streamlining your investments, focusing on high-performing funds, and maintaining a disciplined investment approach, you can achieve your Rs 1 crore goal in 12 years. Remember, the key to successful investing is consistency, patience, and regular portfolio reviews.

Stay focused on your long-term goals, and with the right strategy, you will be well on your way to building the wealth you desire.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in

..Read more

Latest Questions
Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |7550 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Jan 19, 2025

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Hello Sir. I have Rs1,00,000 that I want to invest as a lump sum in SBI Mutual Funds for the long term (15+ years). Considering that SBI has one of the largest Asset Management Companies (AMCs), could you please recommend which SBI Mutual Funds would be suitable for such an investment and have the potential to deliver good returns over this period? I am doing this investment for my daughter's education.
Ans: Your decision to invest Rs 1,00,000 for your daughter's education is commendable. A long-term horizon of 15+ years offers significant growth potential through mutual funds. Below are insights and recommendations to guide your investment.

Why SBI Mutual Funds?

SBI is one of India’s largest and most trusted AMCs.

They offer a wide range of funds suitable for different goals and risk levels.

Their consistent performance track record reflects sound fund management.

Key Factors to Consider for Long-Term Investments

Investment Objective:

Education is a critical financial goal.

Focus on wealth accumulation through equity-oriented funds.

Risk Appetite:

Equity funds involve volatility but offer high growth.

Ensure alignment with your risk tolerance.

Fund Type Selection:

Choose funds based on asset allocation and diversification.

Evaluate the performance of large-cap, mid-cap, and hybrid funds.

Tax Implications:

LTCG over Rs 1.25 lakh is taxed at 12.5%.

Understand taxation for equity and debt funds.

Suggested Fund Categories for Your Investment

1. Large-Cap Funds

Invest in funds focusing on well-established companies.

They offer stability and moderate risk.

Suitable for conservative investors.

2. Mid-Cap Funds

These funds focus on medium-sized companies with high growth potential.

They are riskier than large-cap funds but offer higher returns.

Suitable for investors willing to take calculated risks.

3. Flexi-Cap Funds

Invest across large, mid, and small-cap companies.

They offer diversification and the flexibility to adapt to market conditions.

Ideal for investors seeking balanced growth.

4. Equity-Linked Savings Schemes (ELSS)

ELSS funds offer tax benefits under Section 80C.

They have a lock-in period of three years.

Suitable for investors aiming for tax-efficient long-term growth.

5. Hybrid Funds

Invest in a mix of equity and debt instruments.

They offer stability through debt and growth through equity.

Suitable for moderate-risk investors.

Benefits of Investing Through a Certified Financial Planner (CFP)

CFPs offer expert guidance tailored to your goals.

They help monitor fund performance regularly.

They ensure optimal fund selection and rebalancing.

Regular plans through CFPs provide dedicated service and support.

Why Choose Actively Managed Funds?

Active funds aim to outperform benchmarks through expert fund management.

They offer higher potential returns compared to index funds.

Fund managers actively adjust portfolios based on market trends.

Ideal for long-term investors seeking growth.

Key Steps to Start Your Investment

Define your financial goal clearly.

Consult with a CFP for fund selection.

Review the chosen fund’s historical performance and portfolio composition.

Use SIPs for additional investments to benefit from rupee cost averaging.

Monitor your portfolio periodically to ensure alignment with your goals.

Final Insights

Investing in SBI Mutual Funds is a smart choice for your daughter’s education. Selecting the right fund category ensures growth and stability over 15+ years. Partnering with a Certified Financial Planner ensures professional guidance and optimal returns. Stay committed to your goal, review your investments regularly, and focus on long-term growth.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in

https://www.youtube.com/@HolisticInvestment

...Read more

Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |7550 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Jan 19, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Jan 19, 2025Hindi
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I am an NRI with an NRO trading account through Zerodha, but I cannot trade in F&O and Intraday. I have been filing my returns consistently though I have had no income in India in the last 10 years. But I have investments in MF, PPF, NPS, Medical and Life Insurances, ULIPs which were initiated while working in India and had tax saving options and it is being continued. I would like to trade in F&O and Intraday. My wife is not employed till date and has a regular savings account with the Bank which is Resident Indian normal account. She has never filed any IT returns since as there was no income and transactions from my side were only for family maintenance. My question is, can I open a regular trading account in her name so that we can do trading in F&O and Intraday? What are the necessary things which I need to follow for filing IT returns and how my investments can be helpful to file returns through her account. She doesn't have any investments except LIC & Health Insurance policies in her name for which I pay from myside.
Ans: Yes, you can open a trading account in your wife's name to trade in F&O and intraday; however, there are a few important considerations:

Steps to Open a Trading Account:
Convert Savings Account to a Trading-Compatible Account: Ensure her existing bank account supports trading transactions. If not, convert it to a trading-compatible savings account.
KYC Compliance: Complete her KYC process with updated details, including PAN, Aadhaar, and a valid address proof.
Link Demat and Trading Account: Open a Demat and trading account in her name with a broker that supports F&O and intraday trading for resident individuals.
Nominate a Separate Source of Funds: Ensure the funds transferred to her account are not directly linked to your NRI account to avoid legal and taxation issues.
Tax Implications:
Income from Trading: Any income generated from trading in her account will be considered her income. Since she has no other sources of income, her income from trading may be taxed as per the slab rate applicable to her.
Gift Declarations: Funds transferred to her account can be considered a gift. Gifts from a spouse are exempt from tax, but the income generated (through trading) will be clubbed with your income under Section 64 of the Income Tax Act.
Filing IT Returns:
She will need to file her own ITR if her total income (including trading profits) exceeds the taxable limit (Rs. 2.5 lakhs for individuals below 60).
Any clubbed income will still require an ITR to declare the source and details.
Investments for IT Filing:
Investments in her name (e.g., LIC and health insurance) can help:

Claim deductions under Section 80C for LIC premiums.
Claim deductions under Section 80D for health insurance premiums.
Alternative Suggestions:
Joint Investments: Instead of opening an account in her name, consider using investments in her name (LIC, insurance, etc.) to improve her financial standing without additional compliance.
Professional Advice: Engage a CA familiar with NRI taxation and clubbing provisions to ensure full compliance and proper structuring.
If you'd like detailed help with tax planning, compliance, or investment strategies, let me know!

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP

Chief Financial Planner

www.holisticinvestment.in
https://www.youtube.com/@HolisticInvestment.

...Read more

Kanchan

Kanchan Rai  |496 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Jan 19, 2025

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Relationship
hi sir im in a relationship with a guy who i met in hyd we have been together since one year he is a hindu nd im a christian we both love eachother and wanna marry but my parents r against it bcoz he comes from a hindu family and they r forcing me to get married to a christian guy i love him i never got love from my parents when he is giving me the love i want my parents have seperated me from him im not able to understand what to do plz help
Ans: Dear Niveditha,
It’s important to start by having an open and honest conversation with your parents. Try to understand their concerns and share your feelings with them. Express how much this relationship means to you, focusing on the love, respect, and support you and your partner share, rather than just the religious differences.

If this approach doesn’t work, consider involving a trusted family member, friend, or community leader who might help mediate the situation. Sometimes, having an external perspective can help bridge the gap between differing viewpoints. You should also reflect on the long-term implications of your decision. Think about whether you’re ready to face the potential challenges of a mixed-religion marriage, including societal pressures and family dynamics. Having in-depth discussions with your partner about these issues is crucial to ensure you’re both on the same page.

If your parents remain opposed, you may need to consider seeking counseling or therapy. A counselor can help you process your emotions and provide strategies for dealing with family conflicts. They can also offer guidance on how to communicate more effectively with your parents. Building a support system outside of your family, whether through friends, mentors, or support groups, can also be invaluable during this time. It’s important to have people who understand and support your decisions.

Ultimately, the decision about whether to continue with your relationship despite your parents' opposition is yours. You’ll need to weigh the emotional and practical consequences, including the possibility of estrangement or ongoing family conflict. It’s vital to prioritize your happiness and well-being. If you believe that your relationship brings you genuine love and fulfillment, standing by your choice is valid. However, be prepared for the challenges that may come and have a plan in place to manage them. This is a deeply personal decision, and whatever path you choose should align with what feels right for you and your future.

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Kanchan

Kanchan Rai  |496 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Jan 19, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Jan 19, 2025Hindi
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Relationship
URGENT Hello kanchan ma'am Please help. I am a divorced working woman , with a daughter 8 yrs. I have been pursued for remarriage with a guy who is 10 yrs older to me and have 2 kids. 11 and 14 yrs respectively living in a small town. Initially it was agreed the elder child who is a boy would be living in hostel , but now since we are approaching near to the marriage, it seems the elder male child is going to stay at home and not hostel. This is making me really uncomfortable as I won't get much privacy also the male child is aggressive.Already handling one kid was difficult before. Also moving to small town was difficult transition from a metropolitan that I stay in. Moving there could mean losing job opportunities in future. I am really worried if I let this match go, I end up alone again. I am not able to make a decision, it's difficult to raise others children. It's just not naturally inbuilt in us.Although I try really hard to mould my thinking and be more generous, but somehow it suffocates me.
Ans: start by having a direct and open conversation with your prospective partner. It’s crucial to clearly communicate your feelings about the elder child staying at home, especially regarding the need for privacy and the impact of his aggressive behavior. Explain how this change affects your comfort and daily life, emphasizing the importance of maintaining a harmonious living environment.

In tackling the privacy issue, consider discussing potential adjustments to the home’s layout. Creating separate living spaces or setting up rules that establish personal boundaries can help ensure everyone feels comfortable. Developing a routine that allows for private time with your daughter will also be essential in maintaining a balance.

Regarding the transition to a small town, research the local job market thoroughly. Look for opportunities that align with your career goals and consider remote work options if they’re available. It’s also important to engage with the local community to build a support network. Attend community events, meet potential neighbors, and get a feel for the town’s environment. Having a backup plan, such as maintaining connections in your current city or setting aside a financial cushion, will give you added security should the move not work out as expected.

Blending families is a significant emotional and practical challenge, so consider family counseling as a way to address potential conflicts and improve communication. A counselor can provide valuable strategies to help everyone adjust to the new living arrangements and understand each other’s perspectives. To ease into this change, propose a trial period where you can test the dynamics without committing long-term right away. This will give you the opportunity to evaluate how well you and your daughter adapt to the new situation.

Lastly, it’s essential to address your fear of being alone. Reframe this fear by focusing on the positives of independence. Remind yourself that it’s better to be single and emotionally secure than in a relationship that feels overwhelming or stifling. Use this time to invest in personal growth, hobbies, and building a fulfilling life for you and your daughter. Keeping an open mind about future relationships is healthy, but it’s important to ensure any new partnership aligns with your values and meets your emotional needs.

By taking these steps, you can approach the situation with clarity, ensuring that any decision you make is grounded in what’s best for your well-being and that of your daughter.

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Dr Dipankar

Dr Dipankar Dutta  |742 Answers  |Ask -

Tech Careers and Skill Development Expert - Answered on Jan 18, 2025

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