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Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |8118 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on May 16, 2024

Ramalingam Kalirajan has over 23 years of experience in mutual funds and financial planning.
He has an MBA in finance from the University of Madras and is a certified financial planner.
He is the director and chief financial planner at Holistic Investment, a Chennai-based firm that offers financial planning and wealth management advice.... more
Asked by Anonymous - May 04, 2024Hindi
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I will get retired in another two years. I may get a pension of around 40k pm. My wife earns around 70 k pm and ahe will get retired in another 5 years. I may have a corpus of around 75 lacs at the time of retirement so as my wife. Our current earnings is around 3 lacs pm Can we lead a comdortable life may be at 1.50 lac pm. Is it possible to generate such monthly retuen

Ans: Retiring in two years is an exciting transition, and it's essential to plan meticulously to maintain financial stability and comfort during retirement. Let's explore how your pension, combined with your corpus and your wife's income, can help you achieve a monthly income target of ?1.50 lakhs post-retirement.

Assessing Retirement Income Sources
Pension: Your anticipated pension of ?40,000 per month provides a reliable source of income, contributing significantly to your post-retirement finances.

Corpus: With an estimated corpus of ?75 lakhs, your savings can supplement your pension income and support your retirement lifestyle.

Spouse's Income: Your wife's earnings of ?70,000 per month, coupled with her future pension and corpus, add to your combined retirement income.

Calculating Retirement Income
Monthly Income Requirement: Aim for a monthly income of ?1.50 lakhs to sustain a comfortable lifestyle post-retirement.

Pension + Spouse's Income: Your combined pension and your wife's earnings form the baseline of your retirement income. Evaluate the shortfall and determine how to bridge the gap.

Corpus Withdrawal Strategy: Strategically withdraw from your corpus to supplement your monthly income requirements. Consider factors like inflation, expected returns, and longevity risk while planning withdrawals.

Creating a Financial Plan
Budgeting and Expense Management: Review your current expenses and lifestyle choices to identify areas where you can adjust spending post-retirement. Prioritize essential expenses while minimizing discretionary spending.

Investment Strategy: Allocate your corpus across a diversified portfolio to balance risk and return. Consider a mix of equity, debt, and other asset classes based on your risk tolerance and investment horizon.

Systematic Withdrawals: Implement a systematic withdrawal plan (SWP) from your corpus to generate a steady stream of income while preserving the principal amount.

Emergency Fund: Set aside a portion of your corpus as an emergency fund to cover unexpected expenses or emergencies during retirement.

Contingency Planning
Healthcare Costs: Factor in potential healthcare expenses and allocate funds towards health insurance coverage to protect against medical emergencies.

Longevity Risk: Plan for the possibility of living longer than expected by ensuring your retirement income strategy is sustainable over the long term.

Conclusion
With careful planning and strategic financial management, it is possible to achieve a monthly income target of ?1.50 lakhs post-retirement. Leveraging your pension, corpus, and your wife's income, along with disciplined budgeting and investment strategies, can help you lead a comfortable and financially secure life during retirement.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in
DISCLAIMER: The content of this post by the expert is the personal view of the rediffGURU. Users are advised to pursue the information provided by the rediffGURU only as a source of information to be as a point of reference and to rely on their own judgement when making a decision.
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Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |8118 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on May 08, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Apr 25, 2024Hindi
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I am 38 year old. Me & Wife both earn approx 12 lac per year. I have corpus of 3 CR as FD, MF, Shares. No liability. I have one daughter age 6. Can we both retire by 2028 ?
Ans: It's great to hear that you've accumulated a substantial corpus at your age, and it's certainly possible to consider early retirement given your financial situation. However, there are several factors to consider before making such a significant decision:
1. Current Expenses and Lifestyle: Evaluate your current expenses and lifestyle to determine if they are sustainable after retirement. Consider factors such as healthcare expenses, children's education, and any other financial commitments.
2. Retirement Goals: Define your retirement goals, including the desired lifestyle, travel plans, and any other aspirations you may have. Ensure that your retirement corpus can support these goals for the desired duration.
3. Inflation and Longevity Risk: Account for inflation and longevity risk, as retirement could potentially last for several decades. Ensure that your corpus is adequately inflation-adjusted and can last throughout your retirement years.
4. Health Insurance and Contingency Planning: Ensure that you have adequate health insurance coverage for you and your family to mitigate any unforeseen medical expenses. Additionally, have a contingency fund in place to handle any emergencies or unexpected expenses.
5. Professional Advice: Consider consulting with a certified financial planner who can assess your financial situation comprehensively and provide personalized advice based on your goals, risk tolerance, and investment horizon.
Given your substantial corpus and relatively high income, early retirement is feasible with careful planning and prudent financial management. However, it's crucial to conduct a thorough analysis of your financial situation and retirement goals before making any decisions.
Best Regards,
K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,
Chief Financial Planner,
www.holisticinvestment.in

..Read more

Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |8118 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Oct 07, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Oct 07, 2024Hindi
Money
Hello, I am 49 yrs old having wife (homemaker) and one son 13 yrs. I want to retire by age of 55 yrs. I have adequate health Insurance for family also have company health insurance. I have PPF 20 lacs approx., MF 30 lacs, Rental income 25K monthly, Direct Equity 50K, Emergency FD 2 lacs. Have 11 yrs remaining on housing loan EMI 25K. My in hand salary is 1.10K monthly. I want to get 1 lac per month after retirement. Please advice.
Ans: You have done well to build a strong financial base. Your savings and investments are diverse, and you also have rental income to support your retirement. Let's break down your current assets and liabilities:

Public Provident Fund (PPF): Rs 20 lakhs
Mutual Funds: Rs 30 lakhs
Rental Income: Rs 25,000 monthly
Direct Equity: Rs 50,000
Emergency Fixed Deposit: Rs 2 lakhs
Home Loan: 11 years remaining with an EMI of Rs 25,000
Monthly Salary: Rs 1.10 lakhs in hand
You also mentioned having adequate health insurance for your family, which is essential for financial security.

Retirement Goal: Rs 1 Lakh Per Month
You plan to retire at the age of 55, and your goal is to generate Rs 1 lakh per month after retirement. Let's now assess how to achieve that.

Assessment of Income and Expenses Post-Retirement
You will continue to receive Rs 25,000 per month from rental income. Therefore, the remaining Rs 75,000 per month will need to come from your investments.

Your current home loan is an ongoing liability, with an EMI of Rs 25,000. It would be ideal to explore prepayment options or at least ensure that this EMI doesn’t stretch too far into your retirement.

Now let’s focus on optimizing your investments and income sources.

Evaluate Your Investments
Your portfolio is quite diversified, with investments in PPF, mutual funds, direct equity, and a fixed deposit for emergencies. However, some adjustments may be needed to generate a regular income of Rs 75,000 per month after retirement.

Public Provident Fund (PPF)
The current PPF balance of Rs 20 lakhs is a safe and tax-efficient investment.
Continue contributing to PPF, but remember that its lock-in period and lower liquidity make it less ideal for regular income.
Mutual Funds
Your Rs 30 lakhs in mutual funds will play a crucial role in achieving your retirement income goals.
Since mutual funds have the potential for higher returns, maintaining and growing this corpus is important.
You can opt for a Systematic Withdrawal Plan (SWP) post-retirement. This will allow you to withdraw a fixed amount regularly without depleting the principal too fast.
Regularly review the performance of your mutual funds. Focus on actively managed funds rather than index funds, as actively managed funds can potentially outperform in the long term.
Direct Equity
Your Rs 50,000 in direct equity is a small portion of your portfolio.
Direct equity investments can be volatile, and since the amount is relatively small, you might not want to rely on it for regular income.
Consider shifting a portion of this to mutual funds for better risk management through professional fund managers. Regular funds managed by mutual fund distributors (MFDs) who are certified financial planners (CFPs) are often better for long-term growth.
Fixed Deposit for Emergencies
Your Rs 2 lakh fixed deposit is useful as an emergency buffer.
Keep this fund intact and do not use it for income generation. It's always wise to have 6-12 months’ worth of expenses in liquid, easily accessible funds.
Home Loan Strategy
The EMI of Rs 25,000 per month is a significant expense. With 11 years left on the loan, this will continue well into your retirement unless paid off earlier. Here's what you can consider:

Prepaying the loan: If feasible, use some of your current salary or rental income to prepay a portion of the home loan. Reducing this liability before retirement will ease the financial burden later.
If prepaying is not possible, ensure that your post-retirement income can comfortably cover the EMI.
Retirement Corpus Requirement
Assuming you need Rs 75,000 per month from your investments (since Rs 25,000 will come from rent), you will need to build a sufficient corpus by the time you retire. The corpus should be able to generate this amount through systematic withdrawals and interest income.

With inflation and other factors in mind, a rough estimate suggests that you will need a retirement corpus of around Rs 1.5 crore to Rs 2 crore to safely generate Rs 75,000 per month. Let's now explore how to build this corpus over the next six years.

Investment Strategies to Build Your Retirement Corpus
Increase Contributions to Mutual Funds
Currently, you have Rs 30 lakhs in mutual funds. Over the next six years, this can grow significantly, depending on market conditions.
Consider increasing your monthly contributions to mutual funds. This will help you build a larger corpus by the time you retire.
Opt for equity-focused mutual funds for long-term growth. Equities tend to outperform other asset classes over longer periods.
Keep a balance between mid-cap, small-cap, and large-cap funds to optimize your returns. Avoid index funds as they may provide lower returns compared to actively managed funds.
Use Systematic Investment Plans (SIPs)
Systematic Investment Plans (SIPs) will help you build your corpus in a disciplined manner.
By investing regularly, you will also benefit from rupee cost averaging, which helps mitigate the impact of market volatility.
Avoid Direct Equity for Regular Income
Direct equity investments can be unpredictable and volatile. Since your goal is to generate regular income, avoid relying on direct equity.
Shift a portion of your direct equity investments into safer options like mutual funds managed by professionals. Regular mutual funds, managed by MFDs who are certified financial planners (CFPs), provide more stability and better risk management compared to direct equity or index funds.
Rental Income and Real Estate
Your Rs 25,000 rental income will be a steady source of income post-retirement.
Consider increasing the rent periodically to keep up with inflation.
Inflation and Rising Costs
It’s crucial to factor in inflation when planning for retirement. While you might need Rs 1 lakh per month today, the cost of living will rise in the future. Therefore, building a larger corpus than initially expected is always a good strategy.

Your rental income and systematic withdrawals from your mutual funds should help mitigate the impact of inflation, but do review your plan every few years to ensure you're on track.

Additional Considerations for Retirement Planning
Emergency Fund
You have an emergency FD of Rs 2 lakhs, which is a good start. However, as you get closer to retirement, it may be worth increasing this to cover at least 6-12 months of living expenses. This way, you won’t need to dip into your retirement savings for any urgent needs.

Health Insurance
You mentioned having adequate health insurance, including company-provided coverage. After retirement, you won’t have employer-provided coverage. Therefore, consider enhancing your health insurance coverage before you retire. This will protect you and your family from any unexpected medical expenses post-retirement.

Taxation of Investments
Your post-retirement income will be subject to taxation. Here’s a quick overview of how your investments will be taxed:

Rental Income: Taxed as per your income tax slab.
Mutual Funds (Equity): Long-term capital gains (LTCG) above Rs 1.25 lakh will be taxed at 12.5%. Short-term capital gains (STCG) are taxed at 20%.
PPF: Interest earned is tax-free.
Fixed Deposit Interest: Taxed as per your income tax slab.
Ensure that your withdrawals and income sources are tax-efficient. A certified financial planner can help you optimize your tax liability in retirement.

Finally
You are on the right path toward a comfortable retirement. With a few strategic adjustments, you can achieve your goal of Rs 1 lakh per month after retirement. Focus on growing your mutual fund investments and paying down your home loan, while also keeping a strong emergency fund in place.

By maintaining a well-diversified portfolio and periodically reviewing your plan, you will be well-prepared for your retirement at 55.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in

https://www.youtube.com/@HolisticInvestment

..Read more

Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |8118 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Dec 31, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Dec 31, 2024Hindi
Money
I am 41 year old and working wife of 37 and 5 year old son. Question: can we both take retirement now ? Salary: 1.5 lac/per month in hand of my 1.2 lac/ per month salary of my wife Investment: 1) 80lac in mutul fund 2) 60 lac in ppf 3) 20 lac in nps 4) 15 lac in gold 5) 2 crore in property 6)10 lac in shares Liability: home expenses like 50k per month and child fee 2 lac per year
Ans: Early retirement is a significant decision that requires careful analysis. Below is a detailed evaluation of your situation based on your financial details.

Income Sources Post-Retirement
Mutual Funds: Rs. 80 lakh in mutual funds offers good growth potential. With disciplined withdrawal, this can provide regular income.

PPF: Rs. 60 lakh in PPF is a stable corpus. It provides safe returns and tax benefits.

NPS: Rs. 20 lakh in NPS will support retirement income. However, withdrawals are partially restricted.

Gold: Rs. 15 lakh in gold is not an income-generating asset. It serves as a hedge against inflation.

Shares: Rs. 10 lakh in shares adds diversification but is volatile. Avoid heavy reliance on this for regular income.

Property: Rs. 2 crore in property is a significant asset. If it’s rental property, it can generate consistent income.

Monthly Expense Analysis
Household Expenses: Rs. 50,000 per month (Rs. 6 lakh annually).

Child’s Education: Rs. 2 lakh per year for the next 13 years. This totals Rs. 26 lakh.

Additional Expenses: Include medical, travel, and emergencies. Factor an additional Rs. 3–5 lakh annually.

Estimating Corpus Requirement
Monthly Expense in Retirement: Assuming Rs. 1 lakh to account for inflation and lifestyle.

Retirement Period: For 40 years post-retirement, a corpus of Rs. 4–5 crore is typically required.

Child’s Education Fund: Rs. 26 lakh should be allocated for this purpose.

Portfolio Analysis
Asset Allocation:

You have a balanced portfolio of equity (mutual funds and shares), fixed income (PPF), and gold.
Maintain 60:40 equity-to-debt ratio for growth and stability.
Diversification:

Your mutual fund investments are well-diversified. Continue monitoring fund performance.
Avoid over-concentration in any single sector or asset class.
Liquidity:

Your PPF and property are not easily liquid. Maintain an emergency fund of Rs. 10 lakh in a liquid form.
Recommendations
Retirement Decision:

Early retirement is feasible if you manage withdrawals carefully and account for inflation.
Consider semi-retirement. Work part-time for 5–10 more years to reduce withdrawal pressure.
Child’s Education:

Allocate Rs. 26 lakh for your child’s education. Use fixed-income instruments like PPF or debt funds.
Health Insurance:

Secure comprehensive health insurance for your family. Medical costs can erode your corpus.
Investment Adjustments:

Rebalance your portfolio annually to maintain the desired equity-debt ratio.
Shift a portion of volatile equity investments to stable hybrid funds or debt instruments closer to withdrawal.
Contingency Planning:

Maintain an emergency fund covering 12–18 months of expenses.
Create a will to ensure smooth estate planning.
Final Insights
Early retirement can be achieved with disciplined financial planning. Regular monitoring of investments is critical. Consider working for a few more years if uncertainties persist. Prioritise your family’s security, and ensure your corpus is sufficient for long-term needs.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in
https://www.youtube.com/@HolisticInvestment

..Read more

Latest Questions
Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |8118 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Mar 20, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Mar 20, 2025Hindi
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Sir Namaskar. I need 10 lac. I can put around 15-20k every month. I am now at 57. Please suggest me the way out. Regards
Ans: You need Rs. 10 lakh.
You can invest Rs. 15K–20K per month.
You are 57 years old.
A structured approach will help you reach your goal efficiently. The right investment choices, tenure, and risk management will be key.

Assessing the Timeframe
If you need Rs. 10 lakh within 3 years, a low-risk strategy is better.
If you have 5+ years, you can take moderate risk for better returns.
Your risk appetite, income stability, and other financial commitments also matter.
Short-term and long-term plans need different strategies.

Choosing the Right Investment Strategy
Low-Risk Approach (For 3 Years or Less)
Bank recurring deposits (RDs) offer stable but low returns.
Short-term debt mutual funds give slightly better returns than RDs.
Fixed deposits (FDs) in small finance banks provide higher interest.
Corporate bonds of high-rated companies can offer fixed income.
These options are safe but may not beat inflation.

Moderate-Risk Approach (For 3–5 Years)
Conservative hybrid mutual funds balance equity and debt.
Dynamic bond funds adjust based on interest rate changes.
Post office savings schemes offer security but fixed returns.
Gold ETFs can act as a hedge against inflation.
Moderate risk gives better returns than FDs but needs periodic review.

Growth-Oriented Approach (For 5+ Years)
Actively managed flexicap mutual funds allow growth with risk control.
Large & midcap funds balance safety and higher returns.
SWP (Systematic Withdrawal Plan) after 5+ years can give monthly income.
Sectoral funds (like pharma, IT) are riskier but can boost returns.
Long-term investing helps wealth grow faster than inflation.

Managing Liquidity and Emergency Needs
Always keep 6 months’ expenses in a savings account or liquid fund.
Avoid investing all your money in one asset class.
Keep some investments easy to withdraw in case of emergencies.
Liquidity management ensures financial stability while you invest.

Tax Efficiency in Investments
Debt mutual funds are taxed as per your income slab.
Equity mutual funds have 12.5% LTCG tax after Rs. 1.25 lakh gains.
FDs have TDS if interest crosses Rs. 40K (Rs. 50K for senior citizens).
Choosing tax-efficient instruments will maximize net returns.
Tax planning helps in retaining more earnings.

Retirement Considerations While Investing
Since you are 57, your investment should not affect retirement savings.
If your pension or other income is fixed, don’t take excess risk.
If you have additional savings, you can afford a balanced approach.
Avoid investing everything in equity unless you have surplus funds.
Retirement safety should be a priority while planning for Rs. 10 lakh.

Practical Investment Plan Based on Timeframe
If Needed in 3 Years
50% in short-term debt funds.
30% in fixed deposits or post office schemes.
20% in high-rated corporate bonds.
Low risk with steady returns.

If Needed in 5 Years
50% in conservative hybrid funds.
30% in large & midcap equity funds.
20% in short-term debt funds.
Balanced risk with potential growth.

If Needed in 7+ Years
60% in actively managed equity funds.
20% in hybrid funds for stability.
20% in gold ETFs or debt funds.
Higher risk but better long-term gains.

Avoiding Common Investment Mistakes
Don't keep all savings in FDs, as they give low post-tax returns.
Avoid high-risk stocks or thematic funds if you need funds soon.
Never invest emergency funds in volatile assets.
Review investments annually to stay aligned with the goal.
A disciplined approach prevents financial stress.

Finally
Your Rs. 10 lakh goal is achievable with systematic investing.
Choose the right asset mix based on your timeframe and risk level.
Keep tax efficiency, liquidity, and retirement security in mind.
Regular review and professional guidance will optimize your returns.
Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP

Chief Financial Planner

www.holisticinvestment.in
https://www.youtube.com/@HolisticInvestment

...Read more

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Asked by Anonymous - Mar 08, 2025Hindi
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Dear PF Expert, My question is regarding the impact of partial withdrawal money from my EPF corpus. I quit my job in Feb 2023 (2 years ago) to work as a freelancer, after more than 18 years of service in the industry. My understanding: a. After 3 years of no contribution to the PF account, it becomes dormant and doesn't accrue any interest. b. To receive the EPS pension, one needs to turn 58 years. c. Based on the formula (Pensionable Salary) * (Pensionable Service) / 70, the max. monthly pension is capped to Rs. 7500 as on Mar, 2025. To meet certain financial needs, I would like to make a partial withdrawal from my PF corpus. My questions: 1) How will this impact my EPS pension after I turn 58 years? Since the Pensionable salary is dependent only on the average salary in the last 5 years of service and not on the outstanding corpus, the fact that I have withdrawn before retirement age of 58 shouldn't matter. Is my understanding correct? Also, since my average Basic for the last 5 years of service was more than Rs. 15000 and I had 18 years of service, I should ideally get a monthly pension of 15000 * 18/70 = Rs.3857 (approx.) Please confirm if my understanding and calculation is correct (Of course, this is assuming that the formula will hold good when I eventually turn 58 to receive the pension) 2)If this is the only partial withdrawal that I would ever make, can I assume that the corpus that would be available for lumpsum withdrawal after I turn 58 would be: [Current Corpus - Partial Withdrawn Amount] * (1.0825) * 1 (EPF interest of 8.25 % and I have only one more year of interest accrual out of 3)? Please respond so that I can make an informed decision about my partial withdrawal
Ans: Hello;

Answers to your queries are as given below:

1. EPF partial withdrawal will have No impact on EPS.
The estimated monthly EPS pension seems okay.

2. Your assumption about net EPF corpus available to you after 58 is correct, in principal.

Best wishes;

...Read more

Kanchan

Kanchan Rai  |560 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Mar 20, 2025

Relationship
Hi , I am 42 year married man in love with 37 yr old married girl , her husband is not a good man in every accepts and my wife is same we are with our partners due to children, Our relationship is 14 year old. We lived in different cities which are 6 hour run away from each other , We often meet 2 to 3 times in a month. Before relation with me she was in love another guy (Before marriage) and this was continued after marriage too. After 1 year of marriage her boy friend passes away in an accident and then Then I enter in her life , Now I come to the point from last 2 year due to some differences and due to corona effect we could not meet and our telephonic conversation was very minimum even once in 10 days and due to some financial problems she started a Job in a school , There she meet with a guy and they become closer and physical too and that guy was in relation with another girl too. After 3-4 month I doubt that she is talking with someone else So I asked her directly that question but she denied, By the time we again start meeting frequently Then After more 3-4 months she accepted that she is in relation with another guy, She told me that he looks like his Ex-boyfriend that why she attracted towards him. She give him 35 K Rs , Then I told her that Why she did not tell me that before ?? She reply that she was in trap of that guy because he is in the same school in which she was a teacher. She left that school then she get a courage to told me that all things. She cry a lot an apologizes many times then I told her we can continue if she never talk with him. She agreed after another 3-4 months later she expose another truth that she is in touch with him through Google chat but she never meet him neither she talk him about past on phone , she told me that she only talk with with him to know his well being only. She told me that one day that guy offer him to again physical and after that she started hating him and stop talking him. Now She is teaching in another school and that boy in other school , When ever she shaw him on Road she tells me about that . Now she asking me that if I caught her again cheating then I can do whatever I want. I love her so much and She loves me too Even we remain in touch on phone 10-12 hr in a day. Now my Question is that Can I believe her again ?? That she will not get in touch that boy in future ?? Should I continue this relation ??
Ans: Dear SPPL
Both of you are in an extra-marital relationship while staying with your respective spouses for the sake of your children. This adds complexity because, beyond trust issues between you and her, there’s the underlying emotional weight of being tied to marriages that neither of you seems emotionally invested in anymore.

Your relationship with her has lasted for 14 years, which shows that there’s a deep emotional bond between you. But the fact that you’re both staying in unhappy marriages out of responsibility to your children means that there’s always going to be a limit to how much emotional and physical freedom you both have in this relationship. That creates emotional pressure because even if you love each other deeply, you’re still navigating within the confines of your separate family lives.

Her getting involved with another man during this time reflects not just on her emotional state but also on the emotional limitations of your relationship. Being in an extra-marital affair means that neither of you can fully give yourselves to each other because of the realities of your existing family commitments. She might have sought comfort or distraction in someone else because the emotional fulfillment she gets from you isn’t enough to bridge the gap created by her marriage and life circumstances.

The fact that she confessed and apologized after initially denying it suggests that she feels guilty and wants to rebuild trust with you. But the emotional vulnerability created by this betrayal will make it hard for you to trust her completely, especially since your relationship already exists in a morally complicated space. Staying with your respective spouses for the children means that your emotional connection with each other will always have to exist in the shadows, which makes it more vulnerable to external distractions and temptations.

The big question here is whether you can genuinely move past the betrayal and continue to trust her despite the complexity of your situation. Love is present, but love alone isn’t always enough when trust is broken—especially in a relationship that already carries emotional and moral complications. If you feel that you can forgive her and she remains consistent in her actions, the relationship might survive. But if this betrayal has planted a seed of doubt that you can’t shake, it could slowly erode the emotional foundation you’ve built over the years.

You also need to consider whether this pattern will repeat itself. Since both of you are married and emotionally unavailable to each other in a fully committed way, emotional gaps might emerge again, and similar situations could arise. You need to have an honest conversation with her about whether you both have the emotional strength to maintain this connection long-term under these circumstances. If you can rebuild trust and stay emotionally strong despite the limitations of your married lives, then you might be able to continue. But if you feel like this betrayal has permanently altered the emotional safety you once felt with her, stepping back to protect your emotional health might be the better choice.

...Read more

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Mayank Chandel  |2131 Answers  |Ask -

IIT-JEE, NEET-UG, SAT, CLAT, CA, CS Exam Expert - Answered on Mar 20, 2025

DISCLAIMER: The content of this post by the expert is the personal view of the rediffGURU. Investment in securities market are subject to market risks. Read all the related document carefully before investing. The securities quoted are for illustration only and are not recommendatory. Users are advised to pursue the information provided by the rediffGURU only as a source of information and as a point of reference and to rely on their own judgement when making a decision. RediffGURUS is an intermediary as per India's Information Technology Act.

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