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48-Year-Old With $250k Salary Seeking Early Retirement: How Much?

Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |6302 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Aug 08, 2024

Ramalingam Kalirajan has over 23 years of experience in mutual funds and financial planning.
He has an MBA in finance from the University of Madras and is a certified financial planner.
He is the director and chief financial planner at Holistic Investment, a Chennai-based firm that offers financial planning and wealth management advice.... more
Asked by Anonymous - Jul 31, 2024Hindi
Money

Hi sir, I have net salary of 2.5L per month and am 48 year old with 2 children aged 16 and 14. I have a EPF corpus of 60 lakhs , NPS 20 lakhs, 10L in stocks,MF portfolio of 15L,invest 50k monthly in MF SIPs. I own a house(loan free), have other outstanding loans of 8 lakhs. I have family floater medical insurance with 30L coverage and life cover for 1.5Cr. I wish to retire by age of 50 - pls advise how much corpus do I need at hand to retire.consider my monthly expense as 60-70k

Ans: Current Financial Situation

Your current financial position is strong. You have a good salary and a solid investment portfolio. Owning a loan-free house adds security. Your EPF, NPS, and SIP investments are well-planned. The life and health insurance coverage is also comprehensive. However, retiring at 50 requires careful planning, especially considering your children’s future needs.

Assessing Your Retirement Needs

To determine your required retirement corpus, several factors must be considered:

Monthly Expenses Post-Retirement: Currently, your expenses are Rs. 60k-70k monthly. This will likely increase with inflation. At an estimated 6% inflation rate, your monthly expenses might double in 12 years.

Retirement Age: You plan to retire in two years at 50. This is an early retirement, so your corpus needs to last longer, possibly 35-40 years.

Children’s Education: Your children are 16 and 14. Higher education costs can be significant in the next few years. Allocating funds for their education is crucial.

Lifestyle Post-Retirement: Consider how your lifestyle might change. Will you travel more? Will healthcare needs increase? These factors affect your corpus requirement.

Estimating the Retirement Corpus

Based on your current expenses and future needs, your retirement corpus should be substantial. Here’s a simplified approach to calculating it:

Inflation-Adjusted Expenses: Your current expenses of Rs. 60k-70k monthly could rise to around Rs. 1.2 lakh monthly by the time you retire. Over a 35-40 year retirement period, this requires a significant corpus.

Healthcare Costs: As you age, healthcare costs will likely increase. While your insurance covers a significant amount, out-of-pocket expenses can still be high.

Children’s Future: Your children’s higher education and potential marriage costs must be factored in. This could be an additional Rs. 50-60 lakhs or more.

Lifestyle and Emergencies: Maintaining your current lifestyle and being prepared for emergencies is essential. This could add another Rs. 50 lakhs to your corpus requirement.

Considering these factors, a retirement corpus of approximately Rs. 10-12 crores might be necessary. This should be enough to cover your monthly expenses, healthcare, and any unforeseen costs. This estimate ensures a comfortable and secure retirement, even if you live longer than expected.

Optimizing Your Investments

To reach this corpus in two years, maximizing your investments is critical:

Increase SIP Contributions: Currently, you invest Rs. 50k monthly in SIPs. Increasing this amount, if possible, will help grow your corpus faster.

Focus on Growth-Oriented Funds: With a two-year horizon, investing in funds with higher growth potential can be beneficial. While these are riskier, they offer better returns.

Review Your Portfolio: Regularly review your mutual fund portfolio. Ensure it’s aligned with your retirement goals and risk tolerance.

Debt Reduction: Paying off the remaining Rs. 8 lakh loan should be a priority. Reducing debt will lower your financial burden in retirement.

NPS and EPF Utilization: Your EPF and NPS together amount to Rs. 80 lakhs. These are crucial components of your retirement corpus. However, they may not be enough alone, so continue to build on them.

Healthcare and Insurance Planning

Adequate Coverage: Your current health coverage of Rs. 30 lakhs is good. But, it might not be enough in later years due to rising medical costs. Consider enhancing your coverage or adding a super top-up plan.

Life Insurance: Your Rs. 1.5 crore life cover is substantial. Ensure it’s sufficient to cover your family’s needs if something happens to you before or after retirement.

Retirement Lifestyle and Goals

Post-Retirement Activities: Think about how you want to spend your retirement. If you plan to pursue hobbies or travel, these will need additional funds.

Part-Time Work: If full retirement seems challenging, consider part-time work or consulting. This can supplement your income and keep you engaged.

Final Insights

Retiring at 50 is ambitious, but achievable with careful planning. You should aim for a retirement corpus of Rs. 10-12 crores to cover all your future needs. Maximizing your investments, reducing debt, and planning for healthcare are key steps. Regular reviews with a Certified Financial Planner will help ensure your financial plan stays on track.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in
DISCLAIMER: The content of this post by the expert is the personal view of the rediffGURU. Users are advised to pursue the information provided by the rediffGURU only as a source of information to be as a point of reference and to rely on their own judgement when making a decision.
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Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |6302 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Jul 19, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Jun 10, 2024Hindi
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Money
Hi, My age is 43yrs and current investments are PF and PPF: 1.5cr, Mutual funds: 90Lakhs, Direct Stocks: 25lakhs, Fixed deposits: 40 lakh, SGB: 5 lakhs, Cash:40 Lakhs. Liabilities: Home EMI: 49,000 per month, kids education: 45,000 per month and other expense:45,000. Surplus of 1 lakh. I like to retire in 10 years. How much corpus do I need at the time of retirement. Liabilities: 2 Kids will complete 12the class in 6 years And then their marriage.
Ans: You are 43 years old with diverse investments. You aim to retire in 10 years. Your financial details are as follows:

Provident Fund (PF) and Public Provident Fund (PPF): Rs. 1.5 crore
Mutual Funds: Rs. 90 lakh
Direct Stocks: Rs. 25 lakh
Fixed Deposits (FDs): Rs. 40 lakh
Sovereign Gold Bonds (SGB): Rs. 5 lakh
Cash: Rs. 40 lakh
Liabilities and Expenses
Home EMI: Rs. 49,000 per month
Kids’ Education: Rs. 45,000 per month
Other Expenses: Rs. 45,000 per month
Total Monthly Expenses: Rs. 1,39,000
Surplus Income: Rs. 1 lakh per month
Your children will complete their 12th grade in 6 years and then have expenses for higher education and marriage.

Assessing Retirement Corpus Needs
1. Estimate Monthly Expenses Post-Retirement:

Assuming you maintain a similar lifestyle post-retirement.
Inflation-adjusted monthly expenses might increase.
Consider an inflation rate of 6% per year.
2. Calculate Retirement Corpus:

Calculate the amount needed to generate the required monthly income.
Factor in inflation and life expectancy (e.g., up to age 85).
Investment Strategy
1. Pay Off Liabilities:

Prioritize paying off the home loan before retirement.
This will reduce your monthly expenses significantly.
2. Build a Diversified Portfolio:

Continue with diversified investments in mutual funds, stocks, and bonds.
Consider increasing investments in mutual funds for growth.
Allocate a portion of your surplus to equity and debt funds.
3. Set Up Systematic Investment Plans (SIPs):

Use your monthly surplus of Rs. 1 lakh to set up SIPs.
Focus on equity mutual funds for higher long-term returns.
Consider balanced funds for a mix of growth and stability.
4. Emergency Fund:

Maintain an emergency fund to cover 6-12 months of expenses.
Keep this in a liquid and safe investment like a savings account or short-term FD.
5. Child Education and Marriage Fund:

Start a dedicated fund for your children’s education and marriage.
Use a mix of equity and debt mutual funds for this goal.
Adjust the allocation as you get closer to the need.
6. Review and Adjust Investments:

Review your portfolio every six months.
Adjust based on performance and changing needs.
Ensure you are on track to meet your retirement and other financial goals.
Retirement Corpus Calculation
1. Estimate Future Monthly Expenses:

Current monthly expenses: Rs. 1,39,000
Adjusted for inflation over 10 years (at 6% per year).
2. Calculate Required Corpus:

Use a retirement calculator to estimate the corpus.
Factor in life expectancy, inflation, and expected returns on investments.
Additional Tips
1. Tax Efficiency:

Choose investments that offer tax benefits.
Consider tax-efficient mutual funds and debt instruments.
2. Adequate Insurance:

Ensure you have sufficient health and life insurance.
Review your policies to ensure they meet your needs.
3. Regular Monitoring:

Stay disciplined with your investments.
Regularly monitor and rebalance your portfolio.
Final Insights
To retire comfortably in 10 years, you need a substantial corpus. Continue your diversified investment strategy, focus on growth, and pay off your liabilities. Use your monthly surplus wisely to build a robust retirement fund. Regularly review and adjust your investments to stay on track.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in

..Read more

Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |6302 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Sep 09, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Sep 09, 2024Hindi
Money
Hi sir, I have net salary of 2.7L per month and am 46 year old with 2 children aged 12 and 6. I have a EPF+PPF corpus of 65 lakhs , NPS 5 lakhs, 1CR in MF portfolio, invest 50k monthly (Which is on Hold currently) in MF SIPs. I own a house 65L(loan free) & another house 2CR have outstanding loans of 1CR. I have family floater medical insurance with 20L coverage and life cover for 1Cr. I wish to retire by age of 55 - pls advise how much corpus do I need at hand to retire. Consider my monthly expense as 1L
Ans: You are 46 years old with a net salary of Rs. 2.7 lakh per month. You have two children, aged 12 and 6, and a current corpus of Rs. 65 lakh in EPF and PPF, Rs. 5 lakh in NPS, and Rs. 1 crore in your mutual fund portfolio. Additionally, you own two properties, one valued at Rs. 65 lakh (loan-free) and another valued at Rs. 2 crore, with an outstanding loan of Rs. 1 crore. Your current monthly expenses are Rs. 1 lakh, and you have paused your monthly SIP of Rs. 50,000. You also hold a life insurance cover worth Rs. 1 crore and a family floater medical insurance with Rs. 20 lakh coverage.

You plan to retire by the age of 55, which gives you approximately nine years to build a sufficient corpus. Let's explore how much you need to comfortably retire while sustaining your current lifestyle.

Estimating Your Retirement Corpus
To determine your retirement corpus, we need to consider several factors:

Current monthly expenses: Rs. 1 lakh
Retirement age: 55
Post-retirement years: Assuming life expectancy of 85 years, you need to plan for 30 years post-retirement.
Inflation rate: An assumed inflation rate of 6% per year is a reasonable estimate for the future.
Growth rate of investments: Typically, diversified equity mutual funds have delivered around 10-12% returns over the long term.
Based on these factors, your current monthly expenses will increase due to inflation, and you need a corpus that generates enough to cover these rising costs. Since your expenses are Rs. 1 lakh today, they could double or triple over time. Your corpus should be able to sustain this without depleting prematurely.

Breakup of Current Assets
EPF & PPF (Rs. 65 lakh): These are stable, low-risk assets that will help you post-retirement but won't generate high returns.

NPS (Rs. 5 lakh): Provides tax benefits and is specifically designed for retirement savings. It will grow over time but is not highly flexible for withdrawals until retirement age.

Mutual Funds (Rs. 1 crore): This is an excellent foundation for your retirement plan. Equity mutual funds, in particular, have the potential to grow at a faster rate and combat inflation.

Real Estate (Rs. 65 lakh + Rs. 2 crore): While real estate holds value, its liquidity is limited. The house you live in does not contribute to your retirement corpus unless you plan to downsize. The second house has a loan of Rs. 1 crore, and the EMIs for this property must be factored into your pre-retirement cash flows.

Life Insurance (Rs. 1 crore): While it’s important for your family’s protection, this doesn’t contribute to your retirement corpus.

Estimating Your Future Monthly Expenses
Your current monthly expense is Rs. 1 lakh, but due to inflation, this figure will increase. Let’s assume the inflation rate remains at 6%. By the time you retire at 55, your monthly expenses will likely double or triple, reaching anywhere between Rs. 1.7 lakh to Rs. 2 lakh per month. Your retirement corpus should be large enough to generate this amount without running out of funds.

In addition, you’ll have to account for:

Healthcare costs: As you age, medical expenses tend to rise. Even though you have Rs. 20 lakh family floater insurance, post-retirement medical costs not covered by insurance should be factored in.

Educational expenses: Your children’s education could be a significant expense over the next 10 to 15 years.

Corpus Required for Comfortable Retirement
To maintain your current lifestyle, you would need a corpus that generates at least Rs. 2 lakh per month during retirement. Based on a withdrawal rate of 4%, which is commonly used to ensure the corpus lasts for the entirety of your retirement, you’ll need a retirement corpus of approximately Rs. 6 to 7 crore.

This corpus will ensure that you can comfortably cover your rising living expenses, healthcare, and other unforeseen costs without depleting your savings.

Recommendations to Achieve the Corpus
Here’s a detailed plan to help you achieve your target of Rs. 6 to 7 crore before retirement:

1. Resume Your SIP Investments
Restart your monthly SIP of Rs. 50,000 immediately. This is crucial, as equity mutual funds can provide the high returns needed to meet your retirement goal.

Consider increasing your SIP contribution each year in line with salary increments. This will accelerate your corpus growth and help you fight inflation more effectively.

2. Focus on Equity Mutual Funds
Given your long-term horizon (9 years until retirement), equity mutual funds remain the best investment option to grow your wealth. These funds have historically provided higher returns (10-12% CAGR), which will be essential for building your retirement corpus.

Ensure your portfolio is diversified across large-cap, mid-cap, and multi-cap mutual funds for balanced growth and risk.

3. Debt Repayment Strategy
You currently have an outstanding home loan of Rs. 1 crore. It’s advisable to clear this debt as early as possible. Carrying such a large debt into retirement can strain your finances.

Use a portion of your liquid assets, such as your mutual fund corpus or any bonuses, to reduce the loan burden gradually. This will free up cash flow and allow you to focus more on building your retirement fund.

4. Maximize Your EPF & PPF Contributions
Continue contributing to your EPF and PPF accounts. While the returns from these are modest, they are low-risk and provide tax-free returns, making them ideal for post-retirement stability.

As PPF matures, consider reinvesting the proceeds into equity mutual funds to capitalize on higher returns.

5. Increase Contributions to NPS
Your NPS balance is currently Rs. 5 lakh. Increase your contributions to this as it provides excellent tax benefits and is tailored for retirement.

NPS is also one of the few products where withdrawals are partially tax-free. Increasing contributions now will give you a more substantial corpus in the future.

6. Prioritize Children’s Education
Plan separately for your children’s education expenses. You might want to use specific child education funds or a combination of mutual funds for this.

Avoid dipping into your retirement savings for education purposes. Set clear boundaries between these two financial goals.

Final Insights
At 46, you are well-positioned financially, but pausing your SIP investments and holding onto a large loan could hinder your retirement plans. Restart your investments and focus on paying off your loan as soon as possible. By maintaining discipline and increasing your contributions to SIPs, NPS, and PPF, you should comfortably achieve your retirement corpus of Rs. 6 to 7 crore. Prioritize growth-oriented investments like equity mutual funds, and continue evaluating your portfolio annually to ensure it aligns with your retirement goals.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in

..Read more

Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |6302 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Sep 11, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Sep 11, 2024Hindi
Money
Hello Sir, my age is 37 and I am currently employed in the private sector with a monthly salary of 1.75 lakhs. I would like to provide a summary of my financial situation and seek advice on how much corpus I would require to comfortably retire at the age of 45. Current Financial Overview: Real Estate: 3.5 crores (includes 3 houses and a plot) Stocks: 7.5 lakhs Mutual Funds: 13.5 lakhs Corporate Bonds: 2 lakhs Employees' Provident Fund (EPF): 21.5 lakhs Public Provident Fund (PPF): 8.5 lakhs (investing since 2013) PPF (Wife’s Name): 1.5 lakhs (invested this year, continue to invest the same amount each year) Gold: 20 lakhs Home Loan: 23 lakhs (balance with LIC), Planning to close within 1 year time-frame. Systematic Investment Plan (SIP): Investing 30,000 monthly (recently started, 3 months ago) Term Insurance: 1 crore (premium of approximately 35,000 annually) Health Insurance: Company-provided (7.5 lakhs limit) National Pension System (NPS): Investing 50,000 annually (started this year) Monthly Expenses: 50,000 (including child’s fees and other expenditures, excluding investments) & Investing 50K in Gold every month. Family Details: I have a 6-year-old son and am expecting a new baby in October 2024. My wife is a homemaker. Could you please provide guidance on how much corpus I would need to retire comfortably at 45, considering my current financial situation and future goals? Thank you for your assistance.
Ans: You've outlined a comprehensive overview of your financial landscape, which provides a solid foundation for planning your retirement. With a goal to retire at 45, you have eight years to build and secure a sufficient corpus to ensure a comfortable retirement for you and your family.

Key Financial Assets and Liabilities
Real Estate: Rs 3.5 crore
Stocks: Rs 7.5 lakhs
Mutual Funds: Rs 13.5 lakhs
Corporate Bonds: Rs 2 lakhs
EPF: Rs 21.5 lakhs
PPF: Rs 8.5 lakhs (self), Rs 1.5 lakhs (wife)
Gold: Rs 20 lakhs
Home Loan: Rs 23 lakhs (planning to close in 1 year)
SIP: Rs 30,000 per month (recently started)
NPS: Rs 50,000 annually (started this year)
Insurance: Term insurance of Rs 1 crore, company-provided health insurance of Rs 7.5 lakhs
Monthly Expenses: Rs 50,000 (excluding investments)
Evaluating Your Retirement Corpus Needs
To determine the corpus required for retirement at 45, we need to consider several factors, including your expected expenses during retirement, inflation, and the number of years you plan to be retired.

1. Estimate Post-Retirement Expenses:
Current Monthly Expenses: Rs 50,000 (excluding investments)

Inflation Adjustment: Assuming an average inflation rate of 6%, your current monthly expenses will likely increase by the time you retire.

Post-Retirement Monthly Expenses: Assuming you maintain a similar lifestyle, and considering inflation, your monthly expenses could rise to approximately Rs 80,000 by the time you retire.

Yearly Expenses: Rs 80,000 x 12 = Rs 9.6 lakhs annually at retirement age.

2. Determine the Number of Years in Retirement:
Retirement Age: 45 years
Life Expectancy: Assuming you plan up to 85 years, you'll need to plan for 40 years of retirement.
3. Estimate Required Corpus:
Corpus Required: The corpus needed to sustain your lifestyle for 40 years considering inflation, and safe withdrawal rates.
Assumptions:
Post-retirement, you could adopt a safe withdrawal rate of 4% annually.
Expected returns on the retirement corpus post-retirement could be around 7%.
Using these assumptions, the corpus required to sustain annual expenses of Rs 9.6 lakhs for 40 years with a 4% withdrawal rate can be calculated.

4. Corpus Calculation:
Given the complexities of long-term retirement planning, a simplified method to estimate the corpus is:

Corpus Calculation Formula:
Annual Expenses at Retirement Age (Rs 9.6 lakhs) x 25 = Rs 2.4 crores
This formula is based on the 4% rule, which suggests that if you withdraw 4% of your corpus annually, your savings should last for 30-40 years.

However, considering the uncertainties and potential changes in your lifestyle, a more conservative approach would be to plan for a corpus of around Rs 3-4 crores. This takes into account potential healthcare costs, lifestyle changes, and other unforeseen expenses.

Current Asset Evaluation and Future Planning
Now, let’s break down how your current assets can contribute towards building the required corpus and what additional steps are necessary.

1. Real Estate: Rs 3.5 Crores
Real estate is a significant part of your net worth. However, liquidity is an issue with real estate.
You might want to consider whether you plan to keep these properties for rental income, sell them closer to retirement, or downsize.
2. Stocks: Rs 7.5 Lakhs
Your current stock portfolio is modest. Over the next 8 years, aim to increase your investment in stocks through systematic investments (SIPs or direct stock purchases) to leverage market growth.
3. Mutual Funds: Rs 13.5 Lakhs
Continue your SIPs, and consider increasing the amount when feasible. Diversify into equity funds with a good track record, and consider a mix of large-cap, mid-cap, and hybrid funds to balance risk and return.
4. Corporate Bonds: Rs 2 Lakhs
While bonds are safer, they offer lower returns. It’s good to have them for stability, but focus more on equity for growth at this stage.
5. EPF and PPF: Rs 31.5 Lakhs
Your EPF and PPF investments are doing well. Continue with these contributions as they provide tax-free returns and security. Consider increasing your contribution to PPF if possible, as it offers a secure, long-term return.
6. Gold: Rs 20 Lakhs
Your monthly investment of Rs 50,000 in gold is significant. While gold is a good hedge against inflation, it should not dominate your portfolio. Consider reducing the monthly investment in gold and reallocating some of these funds into equity SIPs or mutual funds to enhance growth.
7. Home Loan: Rs 23 Lakhs
Closing this loan within a year is a wise decision, as it will free up cash flow and reduce your financial liabilities, allowing you to invest more aggressively for your retirement.
8. NPS: Rs 50,000 Annually
Since you’ve just started investing in NPS, it’s a good tax-saving tool with the added benefit of a pension. Continue with this investment, as it will provide you with a regular income post-retirement.
9. Term Insurance and Health Insurance
Your term insurance cover of Rs 1 crore is adequate. Ensure it is kept active as it provides financial security for your family. Review your health insurance coverage to ensure it meets your future needs, especially as your family grows.
Future Investment Strategy
Given your current asset base and retirement goal, here’s a roadmap to help you reach your target:

1. Increase Equity Investments
With 8 years to retirement, your portfolio should have a higher equity exposure to maximize growth. Gradually increase your SIP amounts in equity mutual funds or direct stocks.
Consider reallocating some of your monthly gold investment into equity funds to enhance returns.
2. Diversify Mutual Fund Investments
While continuing with your current SIPs, consider adding diversified equity funds and index funds to your portfolio. A balanced mix of large-cap, mid-cap, and small-cap funds will provide the necessary growth potential.
3. Consider Additional Real Estate Monetization
Evaluate if selling one of your real estate holdings closer to retirement could provide liquidity and enhance your retirement corpus. Alternatively, rental income can supplement your retirement income, but be cautious about the management and upkeep costs.
4. Maximize Tax-Advantaged Accounts
Continue contributing to your PPF and NPS accounts, as PPF provides tax-free returns and NPS contributes to a secure retirement corpus. Maximize contributions to these accounts within the allowable limits.
5. Focus on Debt Repayment
Prioritize closing your home loan within the next year. Once this debt is cleared, redirect the EMI amount into your retirement savings.
6. Emergency Fund
Ensure you have a sufficient emergency fund, equivalent to at least 6 months of expenses, to cover any unforeseen events without dipping into your retirement savings.
7. Plan for Healthcare and Child’s Education
Given that your family is growing, it’s essential to plan for increased healthcare needs and your children’s education expenses. Consider setting up dedicated funds for these goals, separate from your retirement corpus.
Regular Monitoring and Review
Retirement planning is dynamic. It’s crucial to review your investments regularly, at least once a year, to ensure they are aligned with your retirement goals. Adjust your strategy as needed based on market conditions, changes in your financial situation, and progress towards your retirement target.

Final Insights
Based on your current financial situation and assuming disciplined investment and regular reviews, accumulating a corpus of Rs 3-4 crores by the time you retire at 45 is feasible. This corpus, combined with your real estate assets and other investments, should provide a comfortable retirement with a reasonable withdrawal strategy.

Focus on increasing your equity exposure, reducing unnecessary debt, and ensuring your portfolio is well-diversified to achieve higher growth. As you approach retirement, gradually shift your portfolio towards more stable, income-generating assets to preserve your capital.

Retirement planning requires careful consideration of both current and future needs. By staying committed to your investment strategy and making informed adjustments, you can secure a financially independent retirement at 45.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in

..Read more

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Ravi

Ravi Mittal  |298 Answers  |Ask -

Dating, Relationships Expert - Answered on Sep 16, 2024

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Hii sir ! This is ritika and I love a boy and we are in relationship since 7 years but there are some behavior of him he always have doubt on me that I am dating another boy he always says that start you screenshare in WhatsApp I even do because I don't want to lose him and he saw all of things of my phone yesterday he again asking for that and I do and there was a tab of instagram which was belongs to my roommate it was her I'd open in my chrome browser where she only wants to delete the I'd which she did from my phone these instagram thing happened approx one year ago but when he saw this I told him that was not mine but he continuously said I am cheater I cheated with him again he was like I know you have two mobile phones and you cheated with me. I love him soo much but he cannot try to accept that . Even I don't talk to my male classmate because he didn't want ki main kisi boy se baat karu Is it fair , am I cheater ? I love him unconditionally I support him in all his career or decision but again he was like I cheated with him we are in long distance relationship but I can't cheat him . Literally I am feeling depressed ????
Ans: Dear Ritika,

Please understand that you did nothing wrong. Why would you even question yourself? You know you never cheated. It's his issue that he cannot trust. Yes, in a relationship we all try to comfort our partners but that too should be to a certain extent. And, in that process, if your mental health is being compromised, I don't see how it's a healthy relationship.

I don't want to tell you what to do, but I would reassure you that YOU DID NOTHING WRONG. You don't need to prove yourself anymore. And I can also assure you that no matter what you do, he will still manage to find some flaws and doubt you. It's a typical behavior we see in some partners. You deserve peace, love, and above all, to be trusted.

Best Wishes.

...Read more

DISCLAIMER: The content of this post by the expert is the personal view of the rediffGURU. Investment in securities market are subject to market risks. Read all the related document carefully before investing. The securities quoted are for illustration only and are not recommendatory. Users are advised to pursue the information provided by the rediffGURU only as a source of information and as a point of reference and to rely on their own judgement when making a decision. RediffGURUS is an intermediary as per India's Information Technology Act.

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