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Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |7336 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on May 20, 2024

Ramalingam Kalirajan has over 23 years of experience in mutual funds and financial planning.
He has an MBA in finance from the University of Madras and is a certified financial planner.
He is the director and chief financial planner at Holistic Investment, a Chennai-based firm that offers financial planning and wealth management advice.... more
Chittari Question by Chittari on May 03, 2024Hindi
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Hi my name is Vijay, age 30 I have 2 kids. 4 years son and 9 months little boy, I want to retire at 40. Currently me and my wife is earning 2 lpm, and I have 50 lakhs cash What is the step can I take to buy a house or invest in mutual fund ? Please suggest this diversified portfolio My monthly expenses is 50 k Please give the best possible advice

Ans: Vijay, it's inspiring to see your ambition to retire at 40 and secure your family's future. Let's explore the steps you can take to achieve this goal.

Your commitment to financial planning and providing a secure future for your family is truly commendable.

Assessing Financial Situation
First, evaluate your current financial situation, including income, expenses, assets, and liabilities.

Setting Clear Goals
Define your retirement goals, including the desired retirement age, lifestyle, and financial needs during retirement.

Building Emergency Fund
Start by building an emergency fund equivalent to 6-12 months of your living expenses to cover unexpected expenses.

Diversified Investment Portfolio
Consider investing in a diversified portfolio of mutual funds aligned with your risk tolerance and investment horizon.

Disadvantages of Direct Funds vs. Benefits of Regular Funds Investing through MFD with CFP Credential
While direct funds offer lower expense ratios, investing through a Certified Financial Planner who is also a Mutual Fund Distributor (MFD) can provide personalized advice and guidance, ensuring your investments are aligned with your financial goals.

Consistent Saving and Investing
Commit to saving and investing a portion of your income regularly to build wealth over time. Automate your investments to ensure consistency.

Reviewing and Rebalancing
Regularly review your investment portfolio and rebalance it as needed to maintain your desired asset allocation and risk profile.

Long-Term Perspective
Maintain a long-term perspective and avoid making impulsive decisions based on short-term market fluctuations.

Final Thoughts
By carefully planning, saving, and investing wisely, you can work towards achieving your goal of early retirement and providing a secure future for your family.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in
DISCLAIMER: The content of this post by the expert is the personal view of the rediffGURU. Users are advised to pursue the information provided by the rediffGURU only as a source of information to be as a point of reference and to rely on their own judgement when making a decision.
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Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |7336 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on May 25, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - May 25, 2024Hindi
Money
Hi Sir, I am 40 years old and working in IT company. My intake monthly salary is 1.10 lakh. I have 6L in PF, 2L in PPF, 4L in stocks, 3.5L in emergency fund inFD and 2.5L in cash. And I have 3L in MF with month sip in 4-4K in HDFC nifty 50 Index fund and HDFC multicap fund and 10k monthly in LIC. I have only 1 child 10 years old and I want to retire with 3-4 crore for my future expenses and for my child education and other things. I can now invest 60k monthly so plz guide me how can I achieve.
Ans: Your goal of accumulating Rs 3-4 crore for future expenses and your child’s education is both achievable and admirable. Given your current savings and investment profile, let’s explore how you can strategically allocate your resources to reach your financial targets.

Assessment of Your Current Financial Position
You have a well-diversified portfolio, which includes provident fund (PF), public provident fund (PPF), stocks, emergency funds in fixed deposits (FD), mutual funds (MF), and life insurance (LIC). Your monthly salary is Rs 1.10 lakh, and you are able to invest Rs 60,000 monthly. Here’s a summary of your current assets:

Provident Fund (PF): Rs 6 lakh
Public Provident Fund (PPF): Rs 2 lakh
Stocks: Rs 4 lakh
Emergency Fund in FD: Rs 3.5 lakh
Cash: Rs 2.5 lakh
Mutual Funds: Rs 3 lakh (with SIPs of Rs 4,000 each in HDFC Nifty 50 Index Fund and HDFC Multicap Fund)
LIC: Rs 10,000 monthly
Evaluating Your Investment Options
Mutual Funds: Actively Managed Funds
You already have investments in index funds and multicap funds. However, actively managed funds could offer better returns due to professional management and active stock selection.

Advantages of Actively Managed Funds:

Professional Management: Experts manage your investments, making strategic decisions to maximize returns.

Potential for Higher Returns: Actively managed funds aim to outperform the market.

Flexibility: Fund managers can quickly adapt to market changes.

Disadvantages of Index Funds:

Market-Linked Returns: Index funds merely replicate the market, lacking potential for higher returns.

No Active Management: Index funds don’t benefit from professional stock selection.

Given these points, consider allocating more to actively managed funds for potentially higher growth.

Systematic Investment Plan (SIP)
SIP is a disciplined approach to investing. It helps in averaging out the cost of investment and reduces the impact of market volatility.

Advantages of SIP:

Rupee Cost Averaging: Reduces the impact of market volatility by averaging out the purchase cost.

Discipline: Ensures regular investment without worrying about market timing.

Compounding: Long-term SIPs benefit from the power of compounding.

You are already investing through SIPs, which is excellent. Increasing your SIP amounts can further accelerate your wealth creation.

Fixed Deposits (FD) for Emergency Fund
Your emergency fund in FD is well-placed for safety and liquidity.

Advantages of FD:

Safety: FDs are considered very safe.

Guaranteed Returns: FDs offer fixed and guaranteed interest rates.

Disadvantages of FD:

Lower Returns: FD returns are generally lower compared to mutual funds.

Inflation Risk: Returns may not keep up with inflation.

Ensure your emergency fund remains adequate but consider other investment avenues for higher returns on excess funds.

Stocks
Your investment in stocks shows a higher risk tolerance, which is beneficial for growth.

Advantages of Stocks:

High Returns: Stocks have the potential for high returns over the long term.

Ownership: Provides ownership in companies and benefits from their growth.

Disadvantages of Stocks:

Volatility: Stocks can be highly volatile and risky.

Time-Consuming: Requires constant monitoring and market knowledge.

Continue investing in stocks but balance this with safer options for risk management.

Strategic Allocation to Achieve Your Goal
To accumulate Rs 3-4 crore, you need a balanced approach that maximizes growth while managing risks.

Step 1: Increase SIP in Actively Managed Mutual Funds
Shift Focus: Allocate more funds to actively managed equity mutual funds instead of index funds.

Diversify: Invest in a mix of large-cap, mid-cap, and multi-cap funds for diversification.

Step 2: Maintain Adequate Emergency Fund
FD for Safety: Keep 6-12 months’ expenses in FD for emergency needs.

Liquid Funds: Consider liquid mutual funds for better returns with liquidity.

Step 3: Continue Investing in Stocks
Balanced Portfolio: Maintain a balanced portfolio of blue-chip and growth stocks.

Regular Review: Periodically review and rebalance your stock portfolio.

Step 4: Utilize PPF and PF Wisely
PPF Contributions: Continue contributing to PPF for tax benefits and safe returns.

PF Growth: Let your PF grow, benefiting from compounded returns.

Step 5: LIC and Insurance Planning
Review Policies: Ensure your LIC policy aligns with your financial goals.

Adequate Coverage: Ensure you have adequate life insurance coverage for your family’s security.
Insurance-cum-investment schemes
Insurance-cum-investment schemes (ULIPs, endowment plans) offer a one-stop solution for insurance and investment needs. However, they might not be the best choice for pure investment due to:
• Lower Potential Returns: Guaranteed returns are usually lower than what MFs can offer through market exposure.
• Higher Costs: Multiple fees in insurance plans (allocation charges, admin fees) can reduce returns compared to the expense ratio of MFs.
• Limited Flexibility: Lock-in periods restrict access to your money, whereas MFs provide more flexibility.
MFs, on the other hand, focus solely on investment and offer:
• Potentially Higher Returns: Investments in stocks and bonds can lead to higher growth compared to guaranteed returns.
• Lower Costs: Expense ratios in MFs are generally lower than the multiple fees in insurance plans.
• Greater Control: You have a wider range of investment options and control over asset allocation to suit your risk appetite.
Consider your goals!
• Need life insurance? Term Insurance plans might be suitable.
• Focus on growing wealth? MFs might be a better option due to their flexibility and return potential.

Planning for Child’s Education and Retirement
Your child’s education and your retirement are your primary goals. Here’s a strategy to address both.

Child’s Education
Education Fund: Start a dedicated fund for your child’s education with equity mutual funds for growth.

Systematic Transfers: As your child approaches college age, systematically transfer funds to safer investments.

Retirement Planning
Retirement Corpus: Focus on building a retirement corpus through a mix of equity and debt mutual funds.

Regular Review: Review your retirement plan annually and adjust contributions as needed.

Estimating Future Value
While specific calculations are beyond this scope, a financial calculator or a Certified Financial Planner can help estimate the future value of your investments. Regularly reviewing and adjusting your strategy is essential to stay on track.

Final Thoughts and Recommendations
Your current financial discipline is commendable. To achieve your goal of Rs 3-4 crore, continue your SIPs, focus on actively managed funds, and maintain a diversified portfolio. Balance risk and safety through strategic asset allocation.

Thank you for seeking my guidance. Your proactive approach to securing your financial future and your child’s education is admirable. Feel free to reach out for further personalized advice.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in

..Read more

Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |7336 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Jun 19, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Jun 19, 2024Hindi
Money
Hi, I am 34 years old married and have one kid 1 year of age. I have invested about 1.8 lakhs in mutual funds which currently stands at 2.05 lakhs. I have a PPF savings of 10 lakhs and invest full amount of 1.5 lakhs per year. I have invested 2 lakhs in equities. I have FDs worth 30 lakhs and my salary is 1.10 lakhs. I wish to retire by 40 years of age. Kindly me suggest me.
Ans: Firstly, congratulations on having a disciplined approach to your finances. At 34, you are already investing in various avenues, which is commendable. You have a diversified portfolio comprising mutual funds, PPF, equities, and fixed deposits. Let's evaluate your current financial standing and plan for an early retirement by the age of 40.

Mutual Funds Investment
Your mutual funds have grown from Rs 1.8 lakhs to Rs 2.05 lakhs. This indicates a healthy appreciation.

However, to retire early, you need to increase your investment in mutual funds.

Actively managed mutual funds could be a better choice compared to index funds. Actively managed funds often outperform the market due to professional fund management. They can adapt to market changes quickly and optimize your returns.

Consider investing through a certified financial planner who can guide you on the best mutual funds. They can provide personalized advice and help you achieve your retirement goals.

Public Provident Fund (PPF)
Your PPF savings stand at Rs 10 lakhs, and you are investing the full amount of Rs 1.5 lakhs per year.

PPF is a great investment for tax-saving and securing your future. It offers a stable and assured return, which is crucial for your retirement plan.

Continue with your current PPF contributions. This will create a significant corpus by the time you retire. Given the tax benefits and guaranteed returns, PPF is a robust component of your retirement plan.

Equities Investment
Your investment in equities is Rs 2 lakhs. Equities can provide high returns, but they come with higher risks.

For early retirement, you need a balanced approach in your equity investments. Diversify your equity portfolio to mitigate risks. Invest in blue-chip stocks and sectors with strong growth potential.

Regularly review and adjust your equity portfolio with the help of a certified financial planner. This ensures that you are on track with your financial goals and minimizes potential risks.

Fixed Deposits (FDs)
You have FDs worth Rs 30 lakhs, which is substantial. FDs are safe investments but offer lower returns compared to mutual funds and equities.

Since you wish to retire early, it's essential to balance safety and growth. While FDs provide safety, they might not generate the necessary returns for early retirement.

Consider reallocating a portion of your FDs into higher-yield investments like mutual funds and equities. This can enhance your overall returns while maintaining some level of safety in your investments.

Monthly Salary
Your monthly salary is Rs 1.10 lakhs. It is crucial to allocate a portion of your salary towards investments.

Follow the 50-30-20 rule:

50% for necessities
30% for discretionary spending
20% for investments
This ensures a disciplined approach to saving and investing, helping you build a retirement corpus.

Setting a Retirement Corpus
To retire by 40, estimate your retirement corpus based on current expenses, inflation, and lifestyle aspirations. This will give you a clear target to aim for.

Consult a certified financial planner to help you set realistic financial goals and create a roadmap to achieve them. They can provide insights into how much you need to save and where to invest.

Increasing Investments
To achieve early retirement, increase your investments gradually. Allocate more towards high-growth avenues like mutual funds and equities.

Systematic Investment Plans (SIPs) are a great way to invest in mutual funds. They provide the benefit of rupee cost averaging and disciplined investing.

Evaluate and adjust your investments regularly to stay aligned with your goals.

Risk Management
Early retirement requires careful risk management. While investing in high-return avenues, ensure you have adequate insurance coverage.

Life insurance, health insurance, and critical illness cover are essential. They protect your financial plan against unforeseen events.

Review your insurance policies regularly and make adjustments as needed.

Emergency Fund
An emergency fund is crucial for financial security. Aim to have 6-12 months' worth of expenses in a liquid fund.

This provides a safety net for any unexpected expenses and ensures you don’t need to dip into your retirement savings.

Tax Planning
Efficient tax planning can boost your savings. Utilize tax-saving instruments like PPF, EPF, and ELSS.

Maximize your tax deductions under Section 80C, 80D, and other relevant sections. This increases your investable surplus and helps in faster wealth accumulation.

Lifestyle and Spending Habits
Retiring early requires a frugal lifestyle and disciplined spending habits.

Evaluate your discretionary expenses and identify areas where you can save more. Redirect these savings into your investment portfolio.

Small changes in spending habits can have a significant impact on your savings and investments over time.

Regular Financial Review
Regularly review your financial plan and investment portfolio.

Market conditions and personal circumstances change over time. A certified financial planner can help you navigate these changes and keep your plan on track.

Periodic reviews ensure that you are progressing towards your retirement goal and allow for timely adjustments.

Benefits of Professional Guidance
Working with a certified financial planner offers several advantages. They provide personalized advice, keeping your goals and risk tolerance in mind.

They help you create a diversified investment portfolio, optimize tax savings, and manage risks effectively. Their expertise can significantly enhance your chances of achieving early retirement.

Final Insights
Your goal of retiring by 40 is ambitious but achievable with a strategic approach.

Focus on increasing your investments in high-growth avenues like mutual funds and equities. Maintain a balance between safety and growth by reallocating your FDs.

Continue your disciplined approach towards PPF and ensure you have adequate insurance coverage. Build a robust emergency fund and practice efficient tax planning.

Adopt a frugal lifestyle and disciplined spending habits to maximize your savings. Regularly review your financial plan with the help of a certified financial planner.

Your dedication and disciplined approach are commendable. With strategic planning and professional guidance, you can achieve your dream of early retirement.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in

..Read more

Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |7336 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Jul 27, 2024

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My salary is 67k in hand my age is 29 and unmarried and i have no investment now i want to start investment with a motive to get retire in age 60 and also build wealth for my child and home how can i achieve all this through which Mutual funds so that i can easily fund my child education in future and for home
Ans: Setting Financial Goals
Your primary financial goals are:

Retirement at age 60
Wealth creation for future child's education
Purchasing a home
Let's devise a plan to achieve these goals through mutual fund investments.

Monthly Budget Allocation
Your salary is Rs. 67,000. Here's a suggested allocation:

Emergency Fund: Save 6 months' expenses in a savings account or liquid fund.
SIP Investment: Allocate 20-25% of your salary for SIPs (Rs. 13,400 - Rs. 16,750).
Short-term Goals: Save for immediate needs (10% of salary).
Lifestyle Expenses: Allocate the rest for living expenses and discretionary spending.
Suggested Investment Strategy
Diversified Portfolio
Equity Mutual Funds:

Invest in large-cap and multi-cap funds for stable growth.
Allocate a portion to mid-cap and small-cap funds for higher returns.
Debt Mutual Funds:

Invest in debt funds for stability and lower risk.
Allocate a portion to balanced or hybrid funds for a mix of equity and debt.
Systematic Investment Plan (SIP):

Start SIPs in chosen funds.
Regular investments ensure disciplined savings and cost averaging.
Example Allocation
Large-Cap Fund:

Stability and steady growth.
Allocate Rs. 5,000 per month.
Multi-Cap Fund:

Diversified equity exposure.
Allocate Rs. 4,000 per month.
Mid-Cap Fund:

Higher growth potential.
Allocate Rs. 3,000 per month.
Small-Cap Fund:

High risk, high reward.
Allocate Rs. 2,000 per month.
Balanced Fund:

Mix of equity and debt.
Allocate Rs. 2,000 per month.
Retirement Planning
Calculate Future Needs
Retirement Corpus:

Estimate future expenses.
Use a retirement calculator for precise planning.
Regular Reviews:

Adjust investments as needed.
Increase SIPs with salary hikes.
Investment Horizon
Long-Term Focus:
Equity funds for long-term growth.
Debt funds for stability as retirement approaches.
Child's Education
Education Fund
Dedicated SIPs:

Start a separate SIP for education.
Choose child education-specific funds.
Goal-Based Planning:

Estimate education costs.
Adjust SIPs to meet target amount.
Home Purchase
Down Payment and Loan
Savings Plan:

Save for a down payment in a short-term debt fund or FD.
Consider a home loan for the balance amount.
EMI Affordability:

Ensure EMIs are within your budget.
Keep debt-to-income ratio manageable.
Final Insights
Diversification:

Ensure portfolio is diversified.
Minimize risk by spreading investments.
Regular Monitoring:

Review investments periodically.
Rebalance portfolio as needed.
Professional Advice:

Consult a Certified Financial Planner for personalized guidance.
Ensure alignment with financial goals.
Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in

..Read more

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Ravi

Ravi Mittal  |475 Answers  |Ask -

Dating, Relationships Expert - Answered on Dec 26, 2024

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I am talking to a boy for arranged marriage. He said me that come to Bangalore you will have a good career. But he is also asking me if I can leave my job if I have got some responsibility in life to which I said yes. Then I said that I prefer own cooked food over cook cooked food. Then he asked me if I can cook for 2 people to which I said that I will have to look if I can do. He seems to be supportive when he talks on phone. Is he brain washing me, should I say yes or no. Is he a red flag. What should I do.
Ans: Dear Moumita,
It isn't fair to label someone as a red flag over a few days of conversation; seeing women take up responsibilities of home and disregard their own career or needs might be what he has seen growing up and it's not him being a red flag intentionally. A lot has to do with upbringing. What I can suggest with confidence is that if you love having your own job, and your own financial independence then please be vocal about it. Just because he is asking you to leave your job doesn't mean you have to do it- you are only in the talking phase. You are not married yet. You have ample time to rethink your choice. Cooking and housework shouldn’t just be your responsibility, just like earning and providing shouldn’t only be his. It’s about sharing the load equally. Having said that, I should also mention that every relationship is different, and each couple finds their own way of balancing things. Ultimately, everything boils down to what you are comfortable with- please take some time to figure that out and only then decide whether or not to take this relationship ahead.

Hope this helps.

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Kanchan

Kanchan Rai  |447 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Dec 26, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Dec 25, 2024
Relationship
Hi, My GF of last 2.5 years gets attracted to men very often and shares her feelings with me as well. She developed feelings for a guy a year back and he kissed her once when they were drunk. She said she didn't had time to react and Later they had a talk, she informed me that they chose to be friends, she doesn't seems to in talking terms any more with him. She talks to lot of male friends who she claims are from LGBTQ community which I doubt whether all are or not. I always say she has the freedom to move on any given day but she can't cheat but she doesn't think getting attracted to multiple men and acting on it as cheating . She says, she is free spirited and she is ok even if I visit a prostitute house. She is in her early 30s. She had a crush another guy on insta and said she will definitely try him if he wasn't lot younger than her but later said he is her best friend and she is in constant touch. Lately, she says vibe doesn't match and have problem saying I am her BF. I tried to move on from relationship 2-3 times because of her above traits and now stopped talking since few days. She had both mental and medical issues. Can I trust her and will she have any mental issues again?
Ans: While it’s commendable that she is honest about her feelings and gives you the freedom to make your choices, it’s equally important to consider whether her values and actions align with what you need in a partner. Relationships thrive when there’s mutual respect, understanding, and agreement on boundaries. If her actions or mindset make you feel undervalued or emotionally unsafe, it’s crucial to reflect on whether this relationship is truly serving your well-being.

The fact that you’ve tried to move on multiple times suggests that there is a deeper discomfort within you about the dynamics between you two. Trust is not just about fidelity; it’s about emotional safety, reliability, and mutual respect. If her behavior consistently makes you question her commitment or your place in her life, that erosion of trust can become difficult to rebuild.

As for her mental and medical challenges, it’s important to approach those with empathy, but also with a clear understanding that you cannot "fix" or "heal" someone unless they are actively seeking and working toward their own well-being. If she has not addressed her mental health or continues behaviors that affect the relationship without taking responsibility, it can lead to ongoing strain for you. Her mental health challenges are not excuses for harmful behavior, nor should they become reasons for you to sacrifice your own emotional health.

You’ve already shown patience and willingness to work through these challenges, but the repeated cycles of doubt and frustration may be a sign that the relationship is taking more from you than it’s giving. Ask yourself if you feel supported, valued, and emotionally safe in this partnership. Relationships should bring out the best in you and your partner, not leave you questioning your worth or constantly trying to accommodate behavior that feels unfair.

Taking a step back, as you’ve done now, can give you the clarity to evaluate what you truly want and need in a relationship. If trust feels irreparably broken or if her behaviors and values are fundamentally misaligned with yours, it may be time to consider whether staying in this relationship is the healthiest choice for you. You deserve a partner who respects your boundaries and builds a connection based on mutual trust and understanding.

If you decide to stay, open communication and possibly couples’ therapy could help bridge the gaps. If you choose to move on, trust that this decision is about prioritizing your well-being and finding a relationship that aligns with your values and needs. Either way, your happiness and emotional health should come first.

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Kanchan

Kanchan Rai  |447 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Dec 26, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Dec 23, 2024Hindi
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Hi Anu, My husband is in living relationship with another lady since April in another country. At the same time, he acused me as selfish for doing my PhD in my native country and put me in mental trauma by verbally accusing.Also,he was very clever, he step by step get rid of all the things related to our relationship and took bank all the bank fund in my name.After that he blocked me.I had doubts on his extra marital and asked him 1000 times. But he simply insulted and blocked me from all social media eventually. After finishing my PhD pre submission, when i went to meet him, in his place. I found him, shifted to another apartment. But i somehow, found it and there i came to knew, he is staying with a lady there for past months. I broke down and informed all his friends. Now he is threatening me for signing mutual consent, otherwise he will make false allegations and tore my good name..Already he partially did that. When I talked to his friends, he was crooked enough to tell them, i am a psycho, ademant, career oriented lady. I told him i am ready to give him mutual divorce after once we met in person. I want to ask him why he cheated me.but he is not ready to meet, he is asking me to talk to his advocate. What shall I do now?
Ans: While it’s natural to want answers and closure, sometimes people who betray us in such profound ways refuse to provide the accountability we seek. Closure doesn’t always come from the other person. It can come from recognizing that their actions stem from their own flaws and failings, not because of anything lacking in you. It can come from choosing to let go of the need for explanations and focusing instead on rebuilding your own sense of peace and purpose.

You’ve already demonstrated incredible strength by standing up to him and exposing the truth to his friends. That takes courage. But this is also a time to lean into your inner resilience and ensure you’re supported by professionals who can guide you through the legal and emotional complexities. Speaking with a family lawyer who understands the nuances of your situation will help you feel empowered to navigate his threats and protect your rights. At the same time, connecting with a counselor or therapist can offer a safe space to process your emotions and begin to heal from this trauma.

It’s okay to grieve the relationship and the betrayal. It’s okay to feel anger, sadness, or even numbness at times. These emotions are all part of the process of moving forward. Allow yourself to feel them without judgment, but also remind yourself that this pain is temporary and does not define you. You are more than what has been done to you.

When you feel ready, try to shift your focus away from him and his actions and toward your own well-being and future. You’ve worked so hard on your PhD and have built a life full of potential and possibility. This chapter doesn’t have to define the rest of your story. You are capable of creating a life that is free from manipulation and filled with self-respect, joy, and the kind of peace that comes from living authentically.

Lean on the people who believe in you, who see your value, and who can remind you of your strength when you feel unsure. Remember, you don’t have to handle this alone. Whether it’s through professional guidance or emotional support from trusted loved ones, there are paths forward that will help you rise above this situation. You deserve a life where your worth is honored, your boundaries are respected, and your happiness takes center stage.

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Kanchan

Kanchan Rai  |447 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Dec 26, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Dec 23, 2024Hindi
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Hello, I am a 35-year woman from Manali, divorced for three years now. My family is constantly pushing me to get remarried, saying it’s ‘for my own good.’ But honestly, I don’t feel the need for marriage again. I’m financially stable, have great friends, and I genuinely enjoy my independence. Despite explaining this to my family multiple times, they keep bringing up alliances and even guilt-trip me, saying things like, ‘Who will take care of you when you’re older?’ or ‘What will society think?’ I’m exhausted from these arguments and feel like I’m being cornered into something I don’t want. How do I stand firm in my decision while maintaining my relationship with my family? How do I help them understand that being single is a choice, not a problem to fix?
Ans: When speaking to your family, try to approach the conversation from a place of empathy. Acknowledge their intentions by telling them you understand their worries and that they want what they believe is best for you. Express gratitude for their care—it often helps diffuse their defensiveness. However, it’s equally important to gently but firmly assert that your happiness is not dependent on remarriage. Share how content you are with your current life, emphasizing your financial stability, fulfilling friendships, and personal growth.

Sometimes families struggle to accept choices that diverge from traditional norms, often driven by fears about societal perceptions or imagined futures. Reassure them that your decision is rooted in thoughtful consideration and self-awareness, and that you’ve built a life that brings you peace and joy. If they bring up concerns like loneliness or old age, you can address these by expressing how you’ve cultivated strong support systems and how your independence equips you to face challenges.

It might also help to set gentle boundaries. For instance, you could say, “I appreciate that you care for me, but I’d like our time together to focus on enjoying each other’s company instead of discussing remarriage.” It’s okay to redirect conversations or take a break from them when you feel cornered.

Lastly, remember that changing deeply ingrained beliefs takes time. Your family might not immediately understand your perspective, but consistency and calm communication will help over time. It’s not your responsibility to conform to their expectations if doing so diminishes your sense of self. By staying true to your values while showing compassion for their concerns, you’re paving the way for mutual respect and understanding.

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Dr Nandita

Dr Nandita Palshetkar  |36 Answers  |Ask -

Gynaecologist, IVF expert - Answered on Dec 26, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Dec 19, 2024Hindi
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Health
Dr, I’m 35 years old from Jamnagar, and my husband and I have been trying for a baby for the past year, but nothing seems to be working. I recently visited a fertility clinic in neighborhood , and after a few tests, they mentioned that I might have blocked fallopian tubes. The gynaec also talked about possible treatments like surgery or IVF, but I’m really confused and worried. Should I go for a laparoscopy to check the severity, or are there any other alternatives that could help me? I’m really anxious and just want to understand my options better before making any decisions.
Ans: History noted.
Considering your age 35 years, trying to conceive since, one year and few test done, one of which suggest possibility of tubal blockage, there are various modalities of treatment.
Firstly, you can do laparoscopy to note the severity if blockage and do tubal cannulation.
Tubal cannulation is often the first line of treatment for patients with blocked fallopian tubes because it's a non-invasive procedure that's widely available.
Tubal cannulation is a procedure that can unblock fallopian tubes and is highly successful for proximal tubal blockages, with a success rate of over 80%. However, it may not be successful for all patients and is not recommended for distal tubal occlusions.
This procedure if successful can avoid IVF procedure. Laparoscopy has…
Yes, before ivf get all your blood test, ecg, 2 D echo, xray chest to rule out any illness
Same with your husband to get semen analysis and viral markers with blood sugars to be done.

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Dr Nandita

Dr Nandita Palshetkar  |36 Answers  |Ask -

Gynaecologist, IVF expert - Answered on Dec 26, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Dec 17, 2024Hindi
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Health
Hello Doctor, I’m in my late 20s, and lately, I’ve been feeling like something’s off with my body. My periods either show up way too early, sometimes not at all for months. And, I’ve been putting on weight even though I haven’t changed my diet or exercise routine. My skin has also turned into a battlefield with acne all over, which I never used to have before. My cousin, who’s around my age, just found out she has PCOS, and her mom (my aunt) went through something similar when she was younger. Now, I’m scared because I’ve been hearing all these horror stories about how it can affect fertility, and I’m not even married yet. What if it’s a family thing and I end up facing the same problems? My mom says, ‘Don’t worry, it’ll be fine,’ but I can’t stop thinking about it. Should I see a gynecologist, or is there another kind of doctor I should be visiting? What tests should I do to get to the bottom of this before it gets worse? Honestly, I’m feeling overwhelmed and just want to know what’s going on before it’s too late.
Ans: Hello, noted your concerns
You are in late 20’s with irregular periods, acne, weight gain,
You are undergoing hormonal imbalance
We need to do certain blood test like
CBC, tsh prolactin fasting insulin level
Hba1c, testosterone level
DHEA, LH FSH ESTRADIOL LEVEL
Amd AMH level to check for fertility level
Usg pelvis to rule out
Pcos
The mainstay treatment. For pcos is lifestyle changes
1) Daily exercise, walks. Zumba, running
2) Good nutritious food with proteins, vitamins, minerals, low carbs and fats
3) good adequate sleep 7 to 8 hours
4) stress management: yoga meditation, breathing exercise
5) supplements to controls effects of pcos
6) low dose OC PILLS TO regularize the cycles

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