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Struggling with 8 Lakh Gambling Debt: Seeking a Fresh Start and Debt Settlement

Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |10902 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Dec 27, 2024

Ramalingam Kalirajan has over 23 years of experience in mutual funds and financial planning.
He has an MBA in finance from the University of Madras and is a certified financial planner.
He is the director and chief financial planner at Holistic Investment, a Chennai-based firm that offers financial planning and wealth management advice.... more
Asked by Anonymous - Oct 22, 2024Hindi
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Money

I have lost money around 8 lakhs in gambling now i want to restart my life fresh i need to settle my debts and loan with bank and NBFCs is it possible to settle money at 70 percent waived off

Ans: Restarting your life after financial setbacks is possible with a disciplined approach. Settling your debts with banks and NBFCs requires a strategic plan, negotiation, and commitment. Here's a 360-degree approach to help you resolve your situation:

Assess Your Current Financial Position
List All Debts: Create a detailed list of all outstanding loans and debts, including principal, interest, and penalties.

Identify Income Sources: Calculate your monthly income and any other sources of funds.

Evaluate Essential Expenses: Identify non-negotiable expenses such as rent, food, utilities, and transport.

Determine Negotiable Debts: Focus on debts with higher interest rates or legal implications.

Negotiating with Lenders
Possibility of Settling at 70% Waiver
Banks and NBFCs Are Open to Negotiation: They prefer recovering some amount rather than declaring a loan as non-performing.

Settlement Terms Vary: Each lender may have unique policies. Some might agree to 70% waiver, but others may not.

Present Your Case Transparently: Show proof of your financial hardship. Explain your inability to pay in full.

Request a One-Time Settlement (OTS): Offer to pay a lump sum of the waived-off amount to close the debt.

Steps to Negotiate Effectively
Reach Out to the Right Department: Contact the collections or recovery department of your lender.

Seek Professional Help: A certified financial planner or debt resolution expert can negotiate on your behalf.

Prepare a Settlement Plan: Propose a realistic amount you can pay. Mention the sources for this payment.

Ask for Written Confirmation: Ensure the lender provides a formal agreement on the waived-off amount.

Negotiate for Reduced Interest and Penalties: Request removal of penalties and reduction of interest rates.

Managing Your Financial Obligations
Repayment Strategy
Prioritise High-Interest Loans: Focus on clearing loans with higher interest rates first.

Consolidate Debts: Consider consolidating multiple loans into one with a lower interest rate.

Use Liquid Assets Wisely: If you have savings or assets, use them to reduce your debt burden.

Building a Fresh Financial Foundation
Avoid Gambling and High-Risk Activities
Adopt Healthy Habits: Seek professional help if gambling is an addiction. Join support groups like Gamblers Anonymous.

Focus on Financial Literacy: Learn to manage your money effectively through courses or books.

Create a Budget and Emergency Fund
Track Income and Expenses: Use apps or spreadsheets to monitor your financial activity.

Save for Emergencies: Set aside 3–6 months of expenses as a safety net.

Restart Investments Gradually
Start with SIPs: Begin investing small amounts in mutual funds. Avoid direct stock trading initially.

Build a Retirement Corpus: Plan for long-term financial security systematically.

Final Insights
Rebuilding your life after a financial setback takes effort but is achievable. Focus on negotiating your debts transparently and settling them systematically. Learn from past mistakes and adopt disciplined financial habits. Restart your journey with renewed confidence and a commitment to avoid risky behaviours. Seek professional guidance when needed to make informed decisions.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in
https://www.youtube.com/@HolisticInvestment
DISCLAIMER: The content of this post by the expert is the personal view of the rediffGURU. Users are advised to pursue the information provided by the rediffGURU only as a source of information to be as a point of reference and to rely on their own judgement when making a decision.
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Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |10902 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Jun 26, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Jun 26, 2025Hindi
Money
Hi...I lost so many lakhs in business by trusting my friends...I had cleared everything by taking a loan of 20 lacs personal loan and the deduction was around 50k and my salary was 80k...the loan tenure was for 5 years which was started just one month ago...I just want my financial freedom back Even faster...can you please guide me towards that
Ans: I understand how stressful this situation must be, and I appreciate your courage in seeking a better path forward. Let’s work through a thoughtful, 360?degree plan to regain financial freedom quickly and sustainably.

Personal Financial Snapshot
You took a personal loan of Rs.20 lakh with 5?year tenure, starting one month ago.

Your current take?home salary is Rs.80,000 per month.

Little has been saved so far; loan interest deductions have begun.

You want to regain financial freedom quickly and stay secure.

Immediate Objectives
Clear high?interest debt as fast as possible.

Build a stable emergency fund.

Create disciplined savings and investment habits.

Use active investing strategies under CFP guidance.

Restore confidence and control in your finances.

Debt Repayment Strategy
1. Prioritise Loan Repayment
Your Rs.20 lakh loan is the biggest liability now.

Accelerate repayment rather than making minimum timelined EMI.

Allocate extra salary and surplus funds to this loan.

Aim to clear at least half of the loan within 18–24 months.

Use any bonus or windfall for sizeable part?prepayment.

2. Budget Realignment
Your net salary is Rs.80,000.

Fixed monthly outflow includes EMI and essentials.

Trim non?essential spending ruthlessly.

Redirect as much as possible toward loan payments.

If possible, increase income with side income or upskilling.

Emergency Fund Formation
Once loan EMI reduces surplus, start building savings.

Aim for emergency corpus equal to 6 months’ expenses.

Keep this fund in safe liquid instruments.

This shields you from unexpected issues without new loans.

Investment Strategy for Wealth Rebuild
1. Equity with Active Mutual Funds
You may think of direct equity large?cap SIPs.

Direct funds lack impartial ongoing guidance.

Regular funds sold via MF Distributor and CFP cover needs.

Active funds are better because fund managers can adjust holdings.

They outperform index funds by managing downside in bear phases.

Index funds simply mirror benchmarks; no strategic shift.

Use actively managed large?cap and multi?cap funds for stable growth.

2. Diversify Across Asset Classes
Equity to grow wealth over long term.

Debt instruments like PPF, corporate bonds, liquid funds for stability.

Combine both to smoothen returns and reduce volatility.

Aim for equity?heavy mix (>60%) as recovery phase begins.

As loan reduces, debt allocation can increase gradually.

3. Systematic Investment Plans
Automate monthly SIP once emergency fund is built.

Choose 3–4 active funds across categories.

Regular review via CFP ensures you stay on track.

Annual top?up of SIP rates with salary increments is essential.

4. Side Investments
Use any additional income wisely – not all in equity.

If extra income comes, invest a portion, save a portion.

Avoid impulsive direct stock trading without CFP guidance.

Cashflow Projection and Surplus Allocation
Salary: Rs.80,000.

EMI portion may be about Rs.35,000–40,000.

After essentials, a small surplus remains.

Over time, as loan is paid, surplus grows.

this surplus fuels investment and rebuilding.

Insurance and Risk Mitigation
You may already have basic personal cover.

Ensure term cover is adequate for loan liabilities.

Consider term policy to cover outstanding loan and family needs.

If health cover exists, maintain or enhance it as income rises.

Avoid investment?cum?insurance plans like ULIPs tied to low returns.

Behavioural & Mindset Components
Stay disciplined: early loan clearance leads to freedom.

Automate regular investments once loan burden eases.

Avoid emotional reactions during market swings.

Use CFP advice to rebalance and review performance annually.

Tax Efficiency in Investments
Equity mutual funds gain long?term capital gains (LTCG) taxed at 12.5% after Rs.1.25 lakh exemption.

Short?term gains are taxed at 20%.

Debt fund gains are taxed as per income slab.

Use PPF/EPF for 80C tax shelter.

Plan redemption timing to stay within exemptions and lower tax.

Timeline for Recovery and Wealth Creation
Months 1–6: Lower expenses, boost EMI payments, track cashflow.

Months 6–18: Accelerated loan repayment using surplus and bonus.

Months 12+: Begin building emergency fund and small SIPs.

Months 18–36: Loan EMI becomes savings for SIP – ramp up investments.

Years 3–5: Loan likely cleared. Emergency fund secured. SIP now becomes main wealth vehicle.

Years 5 onward: Consistent investing, increasing SIP amounts with income growth.

Within 10 years, you could rebuild net worth and regain confidence.

360?Degree Summary
Debt: Pay aggressively, use windfalls for prepayment.

Cashflow: Tighten budget and maximise surplus.

Emergency: Build 6?month corpus ASAP.

Investment: Start SIPs in active equity and debt funds via CFP.

Insurance: Hold term and health cover; avoid ULIPs/real estate.

Monitoring: Annual review and rebalance with CFP.

Mindset: Control emotion, stay disciplined, rebuild steadily.

Final Insights
You have undergone a significant financial setback. Yet you also have strong motivation to recover fast. By aggressively clearing high?interest debt first, you free your future cashflow. Once loans reduce, that money becomes fuel for investments. Systematic active fund investing, guided by a Certified Financial Planner, will rebuild wealth steadily. Maintain insurance for protection, build an emergency cushion, and monitor progress with discipline. Over the years, careful allocation and perseverance can restore your financial freedom quicker than you expect.

Your journey ahead is a matter of months and years of steady steps. I appreciate your resolve. If you follow the plan with focus and professional counsel, you will regain control, strength, and financial peace.

Best Regards,
K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,
Chief Financial Planner,
www.holisticinvestment.in
https://www.youtube.com/@HolisticInvestment

..Read more

Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |10902 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Jul 10, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Jun 26, 2025Hindi
Money
I have 29000 yes bank loan plus 10267 lic loan plus and 8105 paysense loan plus ahand loan of 10000 to be paid every month. Right now i am using the money that i got for being laid off. Paysense laon is at 16p.a and the two at betwwn 9 and 11%. I cannot afford sip and no insurances i have. Pls help how to clear loan and start something in mf or trading or equities
Ans: ? Understanding Your Current Situation
– You have multiple personal loans totalling around Rs.?59,372 monthly repayments.
– You mentioned paysense loan interest is 16% p.a.
– Other loans (Yes Bank, LIC, a hand loan) are around 9–11% p.a.
– You’re using severance money after layoff.
– You have no SIP or insurance currently.
– This situation is stressful, and you need a clear plan.

? Acknowledge Your Effort
– You are taking responsibility by asking for help.
– That is a strong first step.
– Many feel lost in such times.
– Your sincerity shows you care about your future.
– Appreciate your readiness to change.

? Immediate Focus: Build a Small Cash Buffer
– You lack an emergency fund now.
– Keep a small buffer of at least Rs.?25,000–50,000.
– This avoids using high-interest credit again.
– Use this only for essentials.
– Having this gives mental stability.

? Prioritise Loan Repayments by Interest Rate
– Highest rate is paysense at 16%.
– Next are loans at 9–11%.
– Clear high-rate debt first to save more.
– Use “debt avalanche” method for best net benefit.

? Use Severance Money Wisely
– Allocate a portion (say 50%) to pay off paysense loan fully.
– This removes the highest-cost debt immediately.
– Then use another part to reduce another 9–11% loan.
– Keep enough for living expenses and buffer.

? Arrange Loans’ Repayment Priority
– Step 1: Clear paysense loan (16% p.a.).
– Step 2: Pay off Yes Bank loan (~10%).
– Step 3: Settle LIC loan (~9-11%).
– Step 4: Address hand loan (~10%).
– Prioritise using saved severance, not future earnings.

? Avoid Digging Deeper into Loan Traps
– Do not borrow to repay other loans.
– Avoid credit card or new loan debt.
– Stay off high-cost borrowing like payday loans.
– This keeps you from falling back into debt cycle.

? Adjust Your Monthly Cash Flow
– After debt clearance, revise your monthly budget.
– Rent or living cut possible? Evaluate if feasible.
– Delay discretionary spending until debts are gone.
– Switch to minimal subsistence mode for now.
– This will free up funds to avoid loan reuse.

? Planning for Loan-Free Future
– Once all loans are gone, your monthly outgo reduces significantly.
– Use surplus cash to build proper emergency fund (3–6 months cost).
– Then allocate towards disciplined investments.
– Goal is to start SIP or other wealth plan soon.

? Why Not Start SIP or Investments Now
– With high cash outgo, investments may add pressure.
– Without debt-free state, returns are overshadowed by loan costs.
– Biggest return is interest saved by debt closure.
– After clearing debt, any investment will be pure growth.

? Avoid Trading or Direct Equity Now
– Trading is risky and requires funds and mental stability.
– In current financial stress, it may lead to bigger losses.
– Laying foundation first is safer path.
– Once stable, you can explore investing.

? New Investments Only After Debt-Free
– Focus on zero-interest obligations.
– Then build a small SIP of Rs.?5,000–10,000 monthly.
– Select actively managed mutual funds.
– Avoid index funds—they mirror the market blindly.
– Active funds adjust during market drops.

? Insurance Planning Once Stable
– You currently have no insurance.
– Not suggested to buy insurance now.
– After debt closure and small SIP start, review insurance need.
– A small term insurance and health cover is essential then.

? Create a Step-by-Step 360° Plan

• Phase 1 – Debt Elimination (next 3–6 months):
– Use severance to clear highest rate loan (paysense).
– Then clear next expensive loan using remaining severance + buffer.
– Use discipline to avoid new debt.
– Keep small buffer and handle living expense strictly.

• Phase 2 – Emergency Buffer Building (next 6–12 months):
– After being debt-free, channel monthly surplus into savings.
– Build emergency fund covering 3–6 months essential expenses.
– Keep this in liquid form.

• Phase 3 – Start Systematic Investments (12 months onward):
– Begin with SIP of Rs.?5,000–10,000 into actively managed equity or hybrid funds.
– Prioritise funds managed by experienced Certified Financial Planner.
– Regularly review performance and rebalance annually.
– Increase SIP gradually as income improves.

• Phase 4 – Insurance and Long-Term Planning (after 18–24 months):
– Introduce term insurance and ?y health cover.
– Use Certified Financial Planner to optimise protection vs. cost.
– Invest additional funds in long-term instruments like PPF or suitable debt funds after equity stage matures.

? Avoid Quick-Fix Schemes
– Trading or speculative bets may hurt your progress.
– Bounce back from layoff requires financial solidity.
– Real success is built slowly but sustainably.

? Stay Emotionally Grounded
– Debt stress creates anxiety.
– Take one step at a time.
– Use support from family and professionals if needed.
– Emotional stability helps stick to the plan.

? Work with a Certified Financial Planner
– You need a guiding hand to track your progress.
– A CFP will help with budget, debt plan, and eventual investments.
– They help you avoid financial pitfalls.
– Their credibility matters for your growth.

? Final Insights
– Your current resources can clear all debt.
– Once debt is gone, build buffer and start SIPs only.
– Trading now can risk your limited funds.
– Actively manage investments with expert help later.
– At each phase, track, adjust, and commit.
– A disciplined approach will bring you to financial stability.
– The road may be challenging, but it leads to freedom.

Best Regards,
K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,
Chief Financial Planner,
www.holisticinvestment.in
https://www.youtube.com/@HolisticInvestment

..Read more

Naveenn

Naveenn Kummar  |236 Answers  |Ask -

Financial Planner, MF, Insurance Expert - Answered on Sep 09, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Aug 05, 2025
Money
dear sir my bro has taken 25 laks loan as house loan for 15 yrs and he his no more as a younger bro me repaying the same from last 5 years i had paid nearly 18 laks and me a senior citzen now me planning for a finnal settlement and the bank is asking 18 lak is there any way to reduce the same kindly advice
Ans: Dear Sir,

First of all, my condolences for your loss. I understand how difficult it must be to manage a loan taken by your late brother, especially as you are a senior citizen and already shouldering this responsibility for 5 years.

???? Why the bank is asking 18 lakh now

Outstanding Principal + Interest:
Even though you have repaid ~?18 lakh, most of the initial EMIs go towards interest. That’s why the principal balance remains high.

Loan Tenure (15 years):
In long-tenure loans, repayment in the first half mostly covers interest. So after 5 years, the principal reduces slower than expected.

???? Options to reduce the burden

Check if there was Insurance on Loan (Home Loan Protection / Term Insurance):
Many home loans are clubbed with insurance. If your brother had such cover, the insurer should repay the outstanding. Please re-check with bank.

Negotiate with Bank:

Request a one-time settlement (OTS), explaining your age and financial condition.

Banks sometimes allow partial waiver of interest or settlement amount if repayment capacity is limited.

Write to branch manager and escalate to regional office if needed.

Check Legal Liability:

If the house is still in your late brother’s name and you are repaying without being co-borrower/guarantor, legally you may not be liable.

Bank can recover from the property, not necessarily from your personal income (unless you signed as co-borrower/guarantor).

Consult a local lawyer before making final settlement.

Alternative Funding:

If possible, use savings, FD, or family help to negotiate a full and final payment at lower amount (say ?14–15 lakh instead of ?18 lakh).

Banks prefer lump sum closure rather than EMI delays.

? Suggested Next Step

First, confirm loan insurance policy → if exists, claim settlement.

If not, request OTS in writing from the bank.

Meanwhile, check your exact legal liability before paying further.
Under the SARFAESI Act (Securitisation and Reconstruction of Financial Assets and Enforcement of Security Interest Act, 2002), the bank has the right to recover dues from the secured asset (the house).

How Bank Recovery Works under SARFAESI

Bank’s First Right:
The bank can take possession of the mortgaged house, auction it, and recover the outstanding loan amount (principal + interest + charges).

Balance Settlement:
If the sale amount is more than outstanding loan, the excess will go to the legal heirs of your brother (not to bank).

If Sale Proceeds < Outstanding Loan:
Then the legal heirs/co-borrowers/guarantors may still be liable for the remaining shortfall.

Legal Heirs’ Role:
Only the legal heirs of your brother can claim the balance amount after loan recovery. If you are not a co-borrower/guarantor, you are not personally liable (unless you voluntarily repay).

Best regards,
Naveenn Kummar, BE, MBA, QPFP
Chief Financial Planner | AMFI Registered MFD
www.alenova.in

..Read more

Latest Questions
Reetika

Reetika Sharma  |432 Answers  |Ask -

Financial Planner, MF and Insurance Expert - Answered on Dec 18, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Dec 16, 2025Hindi
Money
Hello Reetika Mam, I am 48 year having privet Job. I have started investment from 2017, current value of investment is 82L and having monthly 50K SIP as below. My goal to have 2.5Cr corpus at the age of 58. Please advice... 1. Nippon India small cap -Growth Rs 5,000 2. Sundaram Mid Cap fund Regular plan-Growth Rs 5,000 3. ICICI Prudential Small Cap- Growth Rs 10,000 4. ICICI Prudential Large Cap fund-Growth Rs 5,000 5. ICICI Prudential Balanced Adv. fund-Growth Rs 5,000 6. DSP Small Cap fund Regular Growth Rs 5,000 7. Nippn India Pharma Fund- Growth Rs 5,000 8. SBI focused Fund Regular plan- Growth Rs 5,000 9. SBI Dynamic Asset Allocation Active FoF-Regular-Growth Rs 5,000
Ans: Hi,

You can easily achieve your goal of 2.5 crores after 10 years. Your current investment value of 82 lakhs alone can grow to 2.5 crores assuming CAGR of 12% and monthly 50k SIP will give additional 1.1 crores, making a total corpus of 3.6 crores at 58.

But I see a problem with your current allocation. The fund selection is more aligned towards small caps of different AMCs and very concentrated and overlapped portfolio.
You need to diversify it so as to secure your current investment while getting a decent CAGR of 12% over next 10 years.
Focus on changing your current funds to large caps and BAFs and flexicaps and avoid sectoral funds.

You can also work with an advisor to get detailed analysis of your portfolio.
Hence you should consult a professional Certified Financial Planner - a CFP who can guide you with exact funds to invest in keeping in mind your age, requirements, financial goals and risk profile. A CFP periodically reviews your portfolio and suggest any amendments to be made, if required.

Let me know if you need more help.

Best Regards,
Reetika Sharma, Certified Financial Planner
https://www.instagram.com/cfpreetika/

...Read more

Reetika

Reetika Sharma  |432 Answers  |Ask -

Financial Planner, MF and Insurance Expert - Answered on Dec 18, 2025

Money
Hi, I am 32 years old, married, and have a 4-year-old daughter. My monthly take-home salary is 55,000 rupees, and my wife's salary is 31,000 rupees, making our total income 86,000 rupees. I am currently in a lot of debt. Our total EMIs amount to 99,910 rupees (total loans with an average interest rate of 12.5%), and even with my father covering most of the monthly expenses, I still spend about 10,000 rupees. This leaves me with a shortage of approximately 25,000 rupees (debt) every month. My total debt across various banks is 36,50,000 rupees, and I also have a gold loan of 14 lakhs. I cannot change the EMI or loan tenure for another year. I also have a 2 lakh rupee loan from private lenders at an 18% interest rate. My total debt is over 52 lakhs. Now, with gold and silver prices rising, I'm worried that I won't be able to buy them again. I have an opportunity to get a 2 lakh rupee loan at a 12% interest rate, and I'm thinking of using that money to buy gold and silver and then pledge them at the bank again. Half of my current gold loan is from a similar situation – I took a loan from private lenders, bought gold, and then took a gold loan from the bank to repay the private loan. Given my current situation and my family's circumstances, should I buy more gold or focus on repaying my debts? What should I do? The monthly interest on my loans is approximately 50,000 rupees, meaning 50,000 rupees of my salary goes towards interest every month. What should I do in this situation? I also have an SBI Jan Nivesh SIP of 2000 rupees per month for the last four months. I have no savings left. I am thinking of taking out term insurance and health insurance, but I am hesitating because I don't have the money. I am looking for some suggestions to get out of these debts.
Ans: Hi Surya,

You are in a very complicated situation. This whole debt trapped needs to be worked on very judiciously. Let us go through all the aspects in detail.

1. Your total monthly household salary - 86000; monthly expense - 10000 contribution as of now; monthly EMI - approx. 1 lakhs.
2. Current loans - 36.5 lakhs from various banks at 12.5%; Gold Loan - 14 lakhs; private lenders - 2 lakhs at 18% >> totalling to 52 lakhs.
3. 50k interest per month payable - implies capital payment is very less leading to more problem.

- Keen on buying gold with loan. This is where more problem will began. Avoid buying gold using loan.
- Your focus should be on reducing your debt instead of increasing it.

Strategy to follow:
1. Close the loan with higher interest rate - 2 lakh personal lender. This will reduce your EMI and give you more potential to prepay other loans.
2. Try and take financial help from your family in prepaying small loans from banks. This can reduce your burden.
3. If you have any unused assets, can sell them to pay off your loans.

Points to NOTE:
> Avoid taking any more loans.
> When your EMI burden reduces, do make an emergency fund of 2-3 lakhs for yourself for any uncetain situation.
> Make sure to have a health insurance for yourself and family.
> Can stop your investments for now. They are of no use if your EMIs are more than your income. Can start investing once your EMI's reduce atleast by 20-30% for you.

Let me know if you need more help.

Best Regards,
Reetika Sharma, Certified Financial Planner
https://www.instagram.com/cfpreetika/

...Read more

Reetika

Reetika Sharma  |432 Answers  |Ask -

Financial Planner, MF and Insurance Expert - Answered on Dec 18, 2025

Money
Hello Sir ; I am 55 years old & have decided to retire by end of 2025 . My wife is in teaching profession , earns appx. 3.5 L / annum & will continue her service till 2037( @60 yrs. of age ) . My only child is an intellectually disabled person ( with Autism ) , 14 years of age & will be incapable to earn . As on date , I have 60 L in MF , going to sell a property by end of this year @ 41 L ( it is fixed ) , appx 5L in Bank & postal FD . My wife have 45L in MF as on date & 3 fully paid premium ULIP policy which will be matured by 2030. She can get appx. 25 L from there . This is by and large my family financial status . Now , my queries to you that with this corpus , how we manage our ( myself & wife’s ) livelihood & most important that to manage a continuous cash flow for my disabled child till his age 65 i.e. 50 years from now . Primarily , I have thought of SWP & MIS schemes to get regular income for th retirement . My present family expense is appx. 1L per month . Therefore , I do seek your expert advice in this regards . I will be highly obliged if you kindly address to my query . thanking you , with best regards ; Suprabhat Jatty.
Ans: Hi Suprabhat,

Let us analyse all things in detail - one at a time.
1. 5L in Bank and FD - this is your emergency fund. But if there is a lock-in on the postal FD, you need atleast 5 lakhs in bank FD as your emergency fund.
2. Health Insurance - it is the prime requirement for you and your family. You should have one covering you, your spouse as well as your kid. It will help you in uncertain health conditions of youself and family.
3. ULIP Policy - Usually policies like such are not beneficial. But these are all paid-up, good point here. Whenever you get this, try to invest it in equity and hybrid mutual funds.
4. You will get 41 lakhs from property selling. Invest the entire amount in mutual funds, a mix of equity and debt funds.
5. Cumulative MF portfolio = 1.05 crores. As the entire corpus is huge, take the advice of a proper advisor on managing your overall investments and portfolio. A guided investment always generates better result than a random portfolio.

Your annual needs - 12 lakhs; Wife will earn - 3.5 lakhs till 2037. You need additional 8.5 lakhs per year to manage your expenses.
- You can initiate a SWP from your overall savings after allocating it in correct funds with the help of advisor.
- You need to have a dedicated corpus for your son's need in your absence. Atleast 50-70 lakhs should be kept solely for your son.
- The overall corpus seems insufficient to meet your requirements for now. You can either postpone your retirement and create an additional savings corpus for your future and son. Or you may consider to work on your monthly budget.

Do work with a professional advisor to guide you with exact funds to meet your desired goals.
Hence consult a professional Certified Financial Planner - a CFP who can guide you with exact funds to invest in keeping in mind your age, requirements, financial goals and risk profile. A CFP periodically reviews your portfolio and suggest any amendments to be made, if required.

Let me know if you need more help.

Best Regards,
Reetika Sharma, Certified Financial Planner
https://www.instagram.com/cfpreetika/

...Read more

Kanchan

Kanchan Rai  |648 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Dec 18, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Dec 17, 2025Hindi
Relationship
I am 43 years old married man, arranged marriage. Married for past 13 years with 4 kids (aged 2, 3, 10 and 13). I work abroad with good salary package and live with my family. My wife is MSc. and home maker. She teaches the kids and cooks and takes good care of kids. I am academic research scholar. From the start of our marriage, I noticed my wife does not open much and moderate religious person. I am also not very extrovert person. I work from 8 am to 5 pm in office which is walkable distance from my house. After coming from office, I help her in kichen daily, look after the kids, help kids in math, clean the house, put the yougest kid to sleep, then I get some 'me' time which happens only after 11:30 pm in the night. I dont use phone untill everybody is sleep or my kids dont allow me to use phone while i am playing with them. Now sometimes I feel we are just room mates with 1-2 times sex in a month. In terms of love with my wife, I initiate all the time, she never expresses love. I am not very possessive kind of person. She does not show any interest in my work and never ask me hows my day etc. She only smiles and rarely laught. I thought may be it will improve with time. There is no money issue, she buys what ever she likes. She has her own card and I provide extra money if she asks. I assumed may be she does not like me from the beginning but staying in marriage due to family pressure and kids. I am average looking person and dont accept everything what she says in terms of investment, holiday etc. I had accepted my fate. She started doing book writing and publishing online and now earning and keeping separate account, She is very excited about it and feels happy and shares with me the publication but not the earnings. I give suggestions and money what ever she asks for marketting and promotion etc. I am happy for her. Recently I came across an email in her phone which was from her ex. There was a long deleted chat, in summary they were madly in love but could not get married, i dont know the reason or even she never spoke about him. they kept chatting even after our marriage. Her ex got married and divorsed with one grownup kid. He is single and work abroad in a different country with good salary package (may be better than mine). She emailed him after long time I guess but now she is secretly chatting with him very often. she keeps her phone locked and deletes the chats. He is also interested and asking her to leave and marry him. She is not saying yes to him but regrets that she married me. At this point I dont know if I should talk to her regarding this but she will definitely be upset to know i checked her phone. Few years back we had a major fight (that time i didnot know about her ex), i had proposed for divorse and settle it mutually if she is not happy with me but she denied and stayed. I dont know what I should do to make her happy. we both are from very respected family in the society and I dont know if her parents knew about her affair. Even though she is chatting with him but she behaves very normal with me, no fight no argument, as if nothing is happening. I dont know whats in her mind, is she just casually chatting with him or buying time, waiting for the right moment to leave? Shall I file for divorse or accept my fate as room mates. Am I worrying too much?
Ans: First, let me say this clearly: you are not worrying “too much.” Your concerns are valid. When emotional connection, affection, and curiosity about each other’s inner worlds are absent for years, and when secrecy enters the relationship, it naturally shakes trust. The fact that she is emotionally engaging with a past love, hiding communication, and expressing regret about marrying you — even if not directly to your face — is not a small or harmless thing. It doesn’t automatically mean she will leave, but it does mean there is unresolved emotional business that cannot be ignored.
At the same time, it’s important not to jump straight to extremes like divorce or silent resignation. Right now, the most important thing is clarity — for you and for her. Living as silent roommates while carrying this knowledge will slowly erode your self-worth and peace of mind. You deserve honesty, and your marriage deserves a chance to be examined truthfully, not just maintained for appearances, family reputation, or routine.
If you choose to speak to her, the way you approach it will matter far more than the fact that you looked at her phone. Try not to lead with accusation or surveillance. Lead with your emotional reality. You can say something like: you’ve been feeling emotionally distant for a long time, you feel you’re always the one initiating closeness, and recently you’ve felt even more unsettled and insecure about where you stand in her life. You don’t need to reveal every detail of what you saw immediately; the goal is to open a conversation about emotional honesty, not to trap her in a confession.
Pay close attention to how she responds. Not defensiveness alone, but whether she shows willingness to reflect, to talk about her inner world, and to consider rebuilding emotional intimacy with you. A marriage can sometimes be repaired even after emotional betrayal — but only if both partners are willing to be transparent and actively work on reconnecting. If she avoids the conversation, minimizes your feelings, or continues secrecy, then you will have important information about where the marriage truly stands.
It’s also worth acknowledging something gently but honestly: your wife may have spent years emotionally closed not because of you alone, but because she never fully processed the loss of that earlier relationship. Her recent independence and success may have stirred unresolved emotions and old longings. That explains her behavior, but it does not justify secrecy or emotional infidelity. Understanding this can help you speak with compassion without sacrificing your boundaries.
Before making any legal decisions, I strongly encourage you to consider couples counseling, ideally with someone experienced in long-term marriages and emotional affairs. A neutral space can help both of you speak truths that feel too risky at home. It will also help you understand whether she wants to stay and rebuild, or whether she is emotionally preparing to leave.
As for “accepting your fate,” I want to be very clear: accepting a life where you feel invisible, undesired, and emotionally alone is not a virtue. It is a slow form of self-erasure. Your children benefit most not from parents who silently endure, but from adults who model honesty, self-respect, and emotional responsibility.
You don’t have to decide everything right now. But you do need to stop carrying this alone. The next step is not divorce or resignation — it’s an honest, calm, courageous conversation focused on emotional truth. From there, the path forward will become clearer, even if it’s difficult.

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Kanchan

Kanchan Rai  |648 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Dec 18, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Dec 16, 2025Hindi
Relationship
My husband doesn't lock the door when we have s**. This was the main reason for his ex-wife to divorce him. His parents feel that it is safer to keep the door unlocked in case of emergencies. But honestly,I feel awkward. I am not comfortable. Once his sister casually walked in to pick up some stuff, ignoring us on the bed. I was clothed but it still made me feel uncomfortable. We don't have a private bedroom but we use the bed at night. There are two shared wardrobes in the room which people need to access. I have explained this to my husband but he says I need to learn to adjust and work around it. Even if the door is closed, I always fear that someone might just walk in. What to do?
Ans: This is not a small preference issue. This is about personal boundaries and bodily autonomy. Even if nothing “bad” has happened, the fear of being walked in on is enough to make your body stay tense. That anxiety alone can affect your sense of dignity, desire, and emotional security. The fact that his ex-wife divorced him over the same issue tells you that this pattern is longstanding and not something you are imagining.
Your husband and his parents may frame this as “safety” or “emergency access,” but that argument does not hold when weighed against your right to privacy. Emergencies are rare; violations of comfort are happening now. A locked door during intimacy does not mean negligence—it means respect. Many families manage emergencies with simple alternatives like knocking, calling out, or keeping keys for true emergencies. What’s happening instead is that your need for privacy is being minimized, and you are being asked to suppress discomfort for the convenience of others.
The incident with his sister casually entering is especially important. Even though you were clothed, your body registered that as a boundary breach. The fact that it was brushed off is likely reinforcing your fear that this could happen again. Over time, this can quietly erode trust and sexual comfort—not because you’re “overthinking,” but because your nervous system is constantly on alert.
You need to shift the conversation with your husband away from “adjustment” and toward non-negotiable boundaries. This isn’t about arguing logic; it’s about stating a clear emotional and physical limit. You might say something like:
“I cannot feel safe or comfortable being intimate without privacy. This isn’t something I can adjust to. If intimacy continues without a locked door, I will start avoiding it—not out of punishment, but because my body feels unsafe.”
That’s not a threat. That’s honesty.
If the room layout is genuinely impractical, then the solution is not for you to tolerate discomfort, but for the household to change logistics—restricted access at night, fixed timings, or creating a private space. Privacy is a shared responsibility, not a burden placed on one person to endure.
If your husband continues to dismiss this after you clearly express it, that’s a deeper issue than doors. It signals a lack of attunement to your emotional safety, and that deserves serious attention—possibly with a counselor, especially given that this issue has already broken a marriage before.
You are not asking for something unreasonable. You are asking for respect.

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Anu

Anu Krishna  |1754 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Dec 18, 2025

Relationship
Mam, I know some ways by which i can change my state of mind from lazy to working.. and having pressure/deadline helps to move on. But still I'm get trapped in guilt of actions and don't feel confident that next time i will be able to control myself..( cuz some actions give short pleasure/gratification easily.. but guilts also). And in all those silent, sad, depressed emotional time my Real working time gets wasted.. and feels like I just live in more guilt and saddness..even if it hurts. But don't wanna live like that!! What I do?
Ans: Dear Work,
Focus in any area of Life comes only when you realize WHY you are doing WHAT you are doing in that area.
For eg: If you decide to lose weight and just randomly join the gym without understanding WHY you are in the gym, a few days later, you will drop out. Mind you, that LOSING WEIGHT is not your reason; WHY do you want to lose that weight is the only thing that will keep you focused and motivated.
Hence, if you are giving into short term distractions, then obviously whatever it is that you are doing is not interesting you and so you get easily distracted.
Take one area of your life at a time; drop your goals in paper and mark a strong WHY against each. If it isn't motivating you enough, go back to the Drawing Board and do the exercise until you find that fire in your belly.

All the best!
Anu Krishna
Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
Drop in: www.unfear.io
Reach me: Facebook: anukrish07/ AND LinkedIn: anukrishna-joyofserving/

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