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Sanjeev

Sanjeev Govila  | Answer  |Ask -

Financial Planner - Answered on Sep 23, 2023

Colonel Sanjeev Govila (retd) is the founder of Hum Fauji Initiatives, a financial planning company dedicated to the armed forces personnel and their families.
He has over 12 years of experience in financial planning and is a SEBI certified registered investment advisor; he is also accredited with AMFI and IRDA.... more
Venkatesh Question by Venkatesh on Sep 20, 2023Hindi
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i want to invest Rs 50000 as lumsum amount in mutual fund for 10 years, which mutual fund should i invest

Ans: The Indian stock market is currently at an all-time high and very volatile, and the outlook for the next 10 years is positive. However, there are a few factors that could impact the market in the short term, such as the ongoing war in Ukraine, inflation, and interest rate etc.

Mutual funds are a good way to grow your wealth over the long term.

When choosing a mutual fund, consider your risk tolerance and investment goals. Do your research before investing in any mutual fund.

Some good mutual fund categories for a lump sum investment of Rs 50,000 for 10 years include:

Large cap mutual funds: These funds invest in the largest and most established companies in India. They are relatively less risky than smaller cap funds, but offer lower potential returns.

Flexi-cap mutual funds: These funds invest in a mix of large cap, mid cap, and small cap companies. They offer a good balance of risk and return.

Small cap mutual funds: These funds invest in smaller companies with high growth potential. They are riskier than large cap and multi-cap funds, but offer higher potential returns

You can just good and look for the best funds to invest in.
You can invest in mutual funds directly through the mutual fund company or through a mutual fund distributor.
DISCLAIMER: The content of this post by the expert is the personal view of the rediffGURU. Users are advised to pursue the information provided by the rediffGURU only as a source of information to be as a point of reference and to rely on their own judgement when making a decision.
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Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |7336 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on May 26, 2024

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PLS SUGGEST WHICH M.FUND SHOULD I INVEST FOR TEN YEARS FOR 5000RS MONTHLY
Ans: Strategic Mutual Fund Selection for Long-Term Wealth Creation

Investing in mutual funds is a prudent strategy for long-term wealth accumulation, especially when considering a ten-year horizon. Let's delve deeper into the process of selecting suitable mutual funds for this purpose.

Understanding Investment Objectives

Before diving into fund selection, it's crucial to understand your investment objectives. As a Certified Financial Planner, I appreciate your goal of securing your financial future over the next decade. By considering factors like risk tolerance, time horizon, and financial goals, we can craft a tailored investment strategy to meet your needs.

Selecting Mutual Funds: Actively Managed Funds for Long-Term Growth

Active management offers the potential to outperform the market over the long term through skilled fund management and strategic decision-making. When choosing mutual funds for a ten-year investment horizon, consider the following:

Equity-Oriented Active Funds: Actively managed equity funds have the flexibility to capitalize on market opportunities and navigate market downturns effectively. Look for funds managed by experienced fund managers with a proven track record of delivering consistent returns.

Regular Funds via MFDs: Investing through a Certified Financial Planner (CFP) who is also a Mutual Fund Distributor (MFD) offers personalized guidance and tailored investment solutions. MFDs can help you select suitable funds based on your risk profile, investment goals, and financial circumstances. They provide ongoing support, monitoring, and portfolio rebalancing, ensuring your investments remain aligned with your objectives.

Diversification and Asset Allocation: Opt for actively managed funds that offer broad diversification across different sectors, market capitalizations, and investment styles. This diversification helps spread risk and enhances the potential for long-term wealth creation. Your CFP-MFD can assist in designing a well-balanced portfolio with an appropriate asset allocation strategy to suit your risk tolerance and investment horizon.

Mitigating Risks

While equity investments offer the potential for high returns, they also come with inherent risks. Here's how you can mitigate these risks:

Diversification: Your CFP-MFD can help you construct a diversified portfolio comprising multiple actively managed funds. Diversification across asset classes, sectors, and geographical regions helps mitigate concentration risk and provides a buffer against market volatility.

Regular Monitoring and Review: Your CFP-MFD will monitor your portfolio regularly, keeping you informed about its performance and market developments. Periodic reviews enable timely adjustments to your investment strategy, ensuring it remains aligned with your long-term financial goals.

Conclusion

In conclusion, investing in actively managed mutual funds through a CFP-MFD offers a personalized approach to wealth creation and financial planning. By selecting quality funds, maintaining a diversified portfolio, and receiving ongoing guidance from your CFP-MFD, you can navigate market uncertainties and work towards achieving your long-term financial objectives.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in

..Read more

Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |7336 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Jul 15, 2024

Money
I want to invest 10 lakh rs lumsum for 10 years please suggest me some mutual funds..?
Ans: Investing a lump sum of Rs 10 lakh for 10 years is a significant decision. It is crucial to align this investment with your financial goals. Are you investing for your child’s education, your retirement, or to buy a house? Each goal will dictate a different investment strategy.

Risk Assessment and Tolerance
Every investor has a different risk tolerance. Assessing your risk tolerance is essential before choosing mutual funds. Are you willing to take higher risks for potentially higher returns, or do you prefer safer investments? Knowing your risk profile will help you select the right funds.

Importance of Diversification
Diversification is the key to a balanced portfolio. By spreading your investment across different asset classes and sectors, you can reduce risk. Diversification helps in managing market volatility, ensuring that not all your investments are affected by market swings.

Types of Mutual Funds
Mutual funds come in various types, each serving different purposes. Here are the primary categories:

Equity Funds
Equity funds invest primarily in stocks. They are suitable for investors looking for long-term capital appreciation. These funds can be high-risk but offer high returns over time.

Debt Funds
Debt funds invest in fixed-income securities like bonds and treasury bills. They are suitable for conservative investors seeking steady returns with lower risk. Debt funds provide stability to your portfolio.

Hybrid Funds
Hybrid funds invest in a mix of equity and debt. They offer a balance of risk and return, making them suitable for moderate risk-takers. These funds provide diversification within a single investment.

Sector and Thematic Funds
Sector funds invest in specific sectors like technology, healthcare, or energy. Thematic funds invest based on themes like infrastructure, consumption, or ESG (Environmental, Social, and Governance). These funds can offer high returns but are riskier due to lack of diversification.

International Funds
International funds invest in global markets. They provide exposure to international equities and bonds, helping diversify your portfolio beyond domestic markets.

Evaluating Fund Performance
When selecting mutual funds, it is crucial to evaluate their performance. Look at the historical returns, but also consider other factors:

Consistency of Returns
Check if the fund has consistently delivered good returns over various market cycles. A fund that performs well during both bull and bear markets is preferable.

Fund Manager’s Expertise
The expertise of the fund manager plays a crucial role in the fund’s performance. Look for managers with a proven track record and a sound investment strategy.

Expense Ratio
The expense ratio is the annual fee charged by the fund. Lower expense ratios mean more of your money is working for you. However, do not compromise on the fund’s quality for a lower expense ratio.

Portfolio Turnover
High portfolio turnover can increase costs and affect returns. Look for funds with a reasonable turnover rate, indicating a stable investment strategy.

Benefits of Actively Managed Funds
Actively managed funds have a professional fund manager making investment decisions. Unlike index funds, which passively track a market index, actively managed funds aim to outperform the market. Here are the benefits:

Potential for Higher Returns
Actively managed funds have the potential to deliver higher returns by selecting high-performing stocks and sectors. Fund managers use their expertise to identify investment opportunities.

Flexibility
Fund managers can adjust the portfolio in response to market conditions. This flexibility can help mitigate losses during market downturns.

Diversified Portfolio
Actively managed funds typically have a diversified portfolio, reducing the impact of poor-performing investments.

Disadvantages of Index Funds
While index funds are popular, they have certain disadvantages compared to actively managed funds:

Limited Flexibility
Index funds follow a set index and cannot adapt to changing market conditions. This rigidity can result in missed opportunities.

Average Returns
Index funds aim to match market returns, not exceed them. Actively managed funds, on the other hand, strive to outperform the market.

Lack of Personalization
Index funds are not tailored to individual risk profiles. Actively managed funds can be chosen based on your specific investment goals and risk tolerance.

Benefits of Regular Funds
Investing through a Certified Financial Planner (CFP) and using regular funds can offer several advantages:

Expert Guidance
A CFP provides expert advice, helping you select the best funds based on your financial goals. They bring valuable market insights and personalized strategies.

Portfolio Management
A CFP monitors your portfolio and makes adjustments as needed. This ongoing management ensures your investments remain aligned with your goals.

Access to Research
CFPs have access to extensive research and market analysis. This information helps in making informed investment decisions.

Peace of Mind
Having a CFP manage your investments provides peace of mind. You can focus on other aspects of your life, knowing your money is in good hands.

Strategy for Long-Term Investment
Investing for 10 years requires a strategic approach. Here’s how you can maximize returns while managing risks:

Start with a Strong Foundation
Begin with a mix of equity and debt funds to create a balanced portfolio. This foundation will provide stability and growth potential.

Increase Equity Exposure
As you have a long-term horizon, consider increasing your exposure to equity funds. Equities have historically outperformed other asset classes over the long term.

Regularly Review and Rebalance
Regularly review your portfolio to ensure it remains aligned with your goals. Rebalance if necessary, adjusting the asset allocation to maintain the desired risk level.

Avoid Emotional Decisions
Market fluctuations can tempt you to make emotional decisions. Stick to your investment plan and avoid reacting to short-term market movements.

Utilize Systematic Investment Plan (SIP)
Even with a lump sum, you can benefit from a Systematic Investment Plan (SIP). Investing a portion of your lump sum through SIP can help in rupee cost averaging, reducing the impact of market volatility.

Tax Efficiency
Mutual funds offer tax benefits that can enhance your returns. Understanding the tax implications is crucial for effective planning:

Equity Funds
Equity funds held for more than one year qualify for long-term capital gains (LTCG) tax at 10% on gains exceeding Rs 1 lakh. Short-term gains are taxed at 15%.

Debt Funds
Debt funds held for more than three years qualify for LTCG tax at 20% with indexation benefits. Short-term gains are added to your income and taxed as per your slab.

Tax Saving Funds
Equity Linked Savings Scheme (ELSS) funds offer tax benefits under Section 80C. Investments up to Rs 1.5 lakh in ELSS are eligible for tax deduction, with a lock-in period of three years.

Monitoring and Adjusting Your Portfolio
Regular monitoring and adjustments are essential for successful long-term investing. Here’s how to stay on track:

Quarterly Reviews
Conduct quarterly reviews to assess your portfolio’s performance. Check if the funds are meeting your expectations and make adjustments if necessary.

Annual Rebalancing
Rebalance your portfolio annually to maintain the desired asset allocation. This process involves selling high-performing assets and buying underperforming ones to keep the portfolio balanced.

Stay Informed
Stay updated with market trends and economic changes. This knowledge will help you make informed decisions and adjust your portfolio accordingly.

Consult Your CFP
Regularly consult your Certified Financial Planner. Their expertise and insights are invaluable in navigating market complexities and optimizing your investments.


You have made a wise decision to invest for the long term. It shows your commitment to securing your financial future. We understand that investing can be daunting, but you are on the right path. Your diligence and willingness to seek professional advice will pay off.

Final Insights
Investing Rs 10 lakh in mutual funds for 10 years can yield substantial returns if done thoughtfully. Understand your financial goals, assess your risk tolerance, and diversify your investments. Opt for actively managed funds to leverage professional expertise and potential higher returns. Utilize the guidance of a Certified Financial Planner to navigate the complexities of investing. Regular monitoring and adjustments will keep your investments aligned with your goals. Stay informed, avoid emotional decisions, and enjoy the peace of mind that comes with expert management.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in

..Read more

Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |7336 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Sep 22, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Sep 14, 2024Hindi
Money
Hi sir, my age is 45 year & want to invest lumaum amount aaprx rs.200000 in mutual fund for approx 15-20 years period. Please suggest some good mutual fund or any other option
Ans: At 45 years old, you are in an ideal phase to invest for long-term wealth creation. With approximately Rs. 2,00,000 to invest for a horizon of 15-20 years, you have the advantage of giving your capital time to grow. Long-term investments in equity mutual funds can offer capital appreciation that outpaces inflation. Let’s explore some key factors and strategies to guide your decision.

Importance of Time Horizon and Asset Allocation
Since you have a long time horizon of 15-20 years, equity mutual funds are one of the most effective options. They provide higher potential returns compared to debt funds or traditional savings options like fixed deposits. A diversified equity portfolio could help you ride through market volatility while compounding your wealth.

Key factors to consider:

Equity funds are ideal for long-term wealth creation.

You can ride through market volatility over 15-20 years.

A diversified portfolio of equity mutual funds reduces risk.

Choosing the Right Mutual Funds
Given your long-term horizon, actively managed equity mutual funds would be the most suitable option. It is important to choose funds managed by experienced professionals who can navigate market trends and generate alpha. Actively managed funds are preferable over index funds because they aim to outperform the market rather than just mimic it. You would benefit from the potential of superior returns when investing through a Certified Financial Planner (CFP).

Why not Index Funds?

Index funds only replicate market performance, offering no chance of outperforming it.

Actively managed funds, on the other hand, aim to deliver superior returns by adapting to changing market conditions.

You will have the benefit of expert fund managers working towards generating higher returns.

Key advantages of actively managed funds:

Professional management by experienced fund managers.

Potential to generate better returns than passive funds over the long term.

Active decision-making based on market conditions, company performance, and economic trends.

Disadvantages of Direct Funds
Investing directly in mutual funds without the guidance of a Certified Financial Planner (CFP) can be risky. Direct plans may seem like a cost-effective option due to lower expense ratios, but they lack professional advice. A Certified Financial Planner can help you choose the right funds that match your risk tolerance and investment goals. Also, they can guide you through market cycles, rebalancing, and other complexities.

Why invest through a CFP instead of direct plans?

A CFP ensures that your investments are in sync with your financial goals.

Regular funds, though slightly more expensive, offer access to expert guidance.

A CFP can help with timely portfolio rebalancing and tax-efficient strategies.

Benefits of Long-Term Investing in Mutual Funds
Mutual funds provide an excellent platform to participate in the equity markets, especially for investors with a long-term perspective like yours. Over a 15-20 year period, equity funds can harness the power of compounding, turning even modest initial investments into substantial wealth.

Benefits of mutual funds for long-term investors:

Power of compounding: Over time, the returns on your investments earn returns themselves, leading to exponential growth.

Diversification: Mutual funds spread your investment across various stocks and sectors, reducing the risk associated with investing in individual stocks.

Professional management: Fund managers monitor market trends and make informed decisions to optimize returns.

Suggested Categories of Mutual Funds
Since you are investing for the long term and are willing to take on some risk for higher returns, I suggest focusing on diversified equity mutual funds. Here are the types of funds you should consider:

Large-Cap Funds:

These funds invest in well-established, large companies with a proven track record.

Large-cap funds are relatively stable and offer steady growth over time.

They are ideal for conservative investors seeking moderate returns with lower risk.

Mid-Cap and Small-Cap Funds:

Mid-cap and small-cap funds invest in emerging companies with the potential for high growth.

These funds are more volatile but offer higher growth potential compared to large-cap funds.

Suitable for investors willing to take on higher risk in exchange for better returns over the long term.

Flexi-Cap or Multi-Cap Funds:

These funds invest across large, mid, and small-cap stocks, providing diversified exposure.

Flexi-cap funds offer a good balance between risk and reward by adjusting the allocation based on market conditions.

Sector or Thematic Funds (For a smaller portion):

These funds focus on specific sectors like technology, healthcare, or infrastructure.

They are high-risk, high-reward investments and should only form a small portion of your portfolio.

Sector funds can add a growth element if timed well, but they are best suited for seasoned investors.

Importance of Portfolio Rebalancing
As your investments grow over the next 15-20 years, it will be essential to rebalance your portfolio. This ensures that your risk exposure remains in line with your investment goals. For example, if mid-cap or small-cap funds outperform, they may form a larger portion of your portfolio than initially intended, increasing your risk. A Certified Financial Planner will help you rebalance your portfolio periodically to maintain the ideal risk-reward ratio.

Key benefits of rebalancing:

Ensures that your portfolio stays aligned with your risk profile.

Helps lock in gains and reduce exposure to overperforming, high-risk sectors.

Keeps your portfolio diversified and optimised for future growth.

Creating an Exit Strategy
As you approach retirement or the end of your investment horizon, it will be important to shift from growth to income. Systematic Withdrawal Plans (SWP) allow you to generate a steady income from your investments while keeping the bulk of your corpus intact. You could consider setting up an SWP when you are 60 or older to ensure that you have regular income during retirement. This strategy will help you avoid selling a large portion of your portfolio at once, thereby maintaining financial stability.

Benefits of an SWP:

Provides regular income while preserving your capital.

Allows you to continue benefiting from the growth of your investments.

You can tailor the withdrawal amount to meet your monthly expenses.

Avoiding Annuities or Real Estate for Long-Term Growth
While annuities might seem like a safe option, they typically offer low returns and lack the flexibility of mutual funds. Moreover, they come with lock-in periods and other restrictions, making them less suitable for investors seeking capital appreciation. Similarly, real estate, while a popular option, requires significant upfront investment and lacks liquidity.

Why not annuities or real estate?

Annuities provide limited returns and have long lock-in periods.

Real estate investments are illiquid and require significant management efforts.

Mutual funds offer more flexibility, liquidity, and higher potential returns over the long term.

Final Insights
Investing Rs 2,00,000 in equity mutual funds with a 15-20 year horizon is a sound strategy for wealth creation. Actively managed mutual funds, guided by a Certified Financial Planner, can help you grow your capital while balancing risk. Avoid index funds, direct funds, annuities, and real estate as they may not align with your long-term growth and flexibility goals. Be sure to monitor and rebalance your portfolio regularly, and consider setting up an SWP for a steady income when you approach retirement. With a disciplined approach and proper guidance, your investment can grow significantly over the years.

Best Regards,
K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,
www.holisticinvestment.in
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/holistic_investment_planners/

..Read more

Latest Questions
Ravi

Ravi Mittal  |475 Answers  |Ask -

Dating, Relationships Expert - Answered on Dec 26, 2024

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I am talking to a boy for arranged marriage. He said me that come to Bangalore you will have a good career. But he is also asking me if I can leave my job if I have got some responsibility in life to which I said yes. Then I said that I prefer own cooked food over cook cooked food. Then he asked me if I can cook for 2 people to which I said that I will have to look if I can do. He seems to be supportive when he talks on phone. Is he brain washing me, should I say yes or no. Is he a red flag. What should I do.
Ans: Dear Moumita,
It isn't fair to label someone as a red flag over a few days of conversation; seeing women take up responsibilities of home and disregard their own career or needs might be what he has seen growing up and it's not him being a red flag intentionally. A lot has to do with upbringing. What I can suggest with confidence is that if you love having your own job, and your own financial independence then please be vocal about it. Just because he is asking you to leave your job doesn't mean you have to do it- you are only in the talking phase. You are not married yet. You have ample time to rethink your choice. Cooking and housework shouldn’t just be your responsibility, just like earning and providing shouldn’t only be his. It’s about sharing the load equally. Having said that, I should also mention that every relationship is different, and each couple finds their own way of balancing things. Ultimately, everything boils down to what you are comfortable with- please take some time to figure that out and only then decide whether or not to take this relationship ahead.

Hope this helps.

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Kanchan

Kanchan Rai  |447 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Dec 26, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Dec 25, 2024
Relationship
Hi, My GF of last 2.5 years gets attracted to men very often and shares her feelings with me as well. She developed feelings for a guy a year back and he kissed her once when they were drunk. She said she didn't had time to react and Later they had a talk, she informed me that they chose to be friends, she doesn't seems to in talking terms any more with him. She talks to lot of male friends who she claims are from LGBTQ community which I doubt whether all are or not. I always say she has the freedom to move on any given day but she can't cheat but she doesn't think getting attracted to multiple men and acting on it as cheating . She says, she is free spirited and she is ok even if I visit a prostitute house. She is in her early 30s. She had a crush another guy on insta and said she will definitely try him if he wasn't lot younger than her but later said he is her best friend and she is in constant touch. Lately, she says vibe doesn't match and have problem saying I am her BF. I tried to move on from relationship 2-3 times because of her above traits and now stopped talking since few days. She had both mental and medical issues. Can I trust her and will she have any mental issues again?
Ans: While it’s commendable that she is honest about her feelings and gives you the freedom to make your choices, it’s equally important to consider whether her values and actions align with what you need in a partner. Relationships thrive when there’s mutual respect, understanding, and agreement on boundaries. If her actions or mindset make you feel undervalued or emotionally unsafe, it’s crucial to reflect on whether this relationship is truly serving your well-being.

The fact that you’ve tried to move on multiple times suggests that there is a deeper discomfort within you about the dynamics between you two. Trust is not just about fidelity; it’s about emotional safety, reliability, and mutual respect. If her behavior consistently makes you question her commitment or your place in her life, that erosion of trust can become difficult to rebuild.

As for her mental and medical challenges, it’s important to approach those with empathy, but also with a clear understanding that you cannot "fix" or "heal" someone unless they are actively seeking and working toward their own well-being. If she has not addressed her mental health or continues behaviors that affect the relationship without taking responsibility, it can lead to ongoing strain for you. Her mental health challenges are not excuses for harmful behavior, nor should they become reasons for you to sacrifice your own emotional health.

You’ve already shown patience and willingness to work through these challenges, but the repeated cycles of doubt and frustration may be a sign that the relationship is taking more from you than it’s giving. Ask yourself if you feel supported, valued, and emotionally safe in this partnership. Relationships should bring out the best in you and your partner, not leave you questioning your worth or constantly trying to accommodate behavior that feels unfair.

Taking a step back, as you’ve done now, can give you the clarity to evaluate what you truly want and need in a relationship. If trust feels irreparably broken or if her behaviors and values are fundamentally misaligned with yours, it may be time to consider whether staying in this relationship is the healthiest choice for you. You deserve a partner who respects your boundaries and builds a connection based on mutual trust and understanding.

If you decide to stay, open communication and possibly couples’ therapy could help bridge the gaps. If you choose to move on, trust that this decision is about prioritizing your well-being and finding a relationship that aligns with your values and needs. Either way, your happiness and emotional health should come first.

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Kanchan

Kanchan Rai  |447 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Dec 26, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Dec 23, 2024Hindi
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Hi Anu, My husband is in living relationship with another lady since April in another country. At the same time, he acused me as selfish for doing my PhD in my native country and put me in mental trauma by verbally accusing.Also,he was very clever, he step by step get rid of all the things related to our relationship and took bank all the bank fund in my name.After that he blocked me.I had doubts on his extra marital and asked him 1000 times. But he simply insulted and blocked me from all social media eventually. After finishing my PhD pre submission, when i went to meet him, in his place. I found him, shifted to another apartment. But i somehow, found it and there i came to knew, he is staying with a lady there for past months. I broke down and informed all his friends. Now he is threatening me for signing mutual consent, otherwise he will make false allegations and tore my good name..Already he partially did that. When I talked to his friends, he was crooked enough to tell them, i am a psycho, ademant, career oriented lady. I told him i am ready to give him mutual divorce after once we met in person. I want to ask him why he cheated me.but he is not ready to meet, he is asking me to talk to his advocate. What shall I do now?
Ans: While it’s natural to want answers and closure, sometimes people who betray us in such profound ways refuse to provide the accountability we seek. Closure doesn’t always come from the other person. It can come from recognizing that their actions stem from their own flaws and failings, not because of anything lacking in you. It can come from choosing to let go of the need for explanations and focusing instead on rebuilding your own sense of peace and purpose.

You’ve already demonstrated incredible strength by standing up to him and exposing the truth to his friends. That takes courage. But this is also a time to lean into your inner resilience and ensure you’re supported by professionals who can guide you through the legal and emotional complexities. Speaking with a family lawyer who understands the nuances of your situation will help you feel empowered to navigate his threats and protect your rights. At the same time, connecting with a counselor or therapist can offer a safe space to process your emotions and begin to heal from this trauma.

It’s okay to grieve the relationship and the betrayal. It’s okay to feel anger, sadness, or even numbness at times. These emotions are all part of the process of moving forward. Allow yourself to feel them without judgment, but also remind yourself that this pain is temporary and does not define you. You are more than what has been done to you.

When you feel ready, try to shift your focus away from him and his actions and toward your own well-being and future. You’ve worked so hard on your PhD and have built a life full of potential and possibility. This chapter doesn’t have to define the rest of your story. You are capable of creating a life that is free from manipulation and filled with self-respect, joy, and the kind of peace that comes from living authentically.

Lean on the people who believe in you, who see your value, and who can remind you of your strength when you feel unsure. Remember, you don’t have to handle this alone. Whether it’s through professional guidance or emotional support from trusted loved ones, there are paths forward that will help you rise above this situation. You deserve a life where your worth is honored, your boundaries are respected, and your happiness takes center stage.

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Kanchan

Kanchan Rai  |447 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Dec 26, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Dec 23, 2024Hindi
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Hello, I am a 35-year woman from Manali, divorced for three years now. My family is constantly pushing me to get remarried, saying it’s ‘for my own good.’ But honestly, I don’t feel the need for marriage again. I’m financially stable, have great friends, and I genuinely enjoy my independence. Despite explaining this to my family multiple times, they keep bringing up alliances and even guilt-trip me, saying things like, ‘Who will take care of you when you’re older?’ or ‘What will society think?’ I’m exhausted from these arguments and feel like I’m being cornered into something I don’t want. How do I stand firm in my decision while maintaining my relationship with my family? How do I help them understand that being single is a choice, not a problem to fix?
Ans: When speaking to your family, try to approach the conversation from a place of empathy. Acknowledge their intentions by telling them you understand their worries and that they want what they believe is best for you. Express gratitude for their care—it often helps diffuse their defensiveness. However, it’s equally important to gently but firmly assert that your happiness is not dependent on remarriage. Share how content you are with your current life, emphasizing your financial stability, fulfilling friendships, and personal growth.

Sometimes families struggle to accept choices that diverge from traditional norms, often driven by fears about societal perceptions or imagined futures. Reassure them that your decision is rooted in thoughtful consideration and self-awareness, and that you’ve built a life that brings you peace and joy. If they bring up concerns like loneliness or old age, you can address these by expressing how you’ve cultivated strong support systems and how your independence equips you to face challenges.

It might also help to set gentle boundaries. For instance, you could say, “I appreciate that you care for me, but I’d like our time together to focus on enjoying each other’s company instead of discussing remarriage.” It’s okay to redirect conversations or take a break from them when you feel cornered.

Lastly, remember that changing deeply ingrained beliefs takes time. Your family might not immediately understand your perspective, but consistency and calm communication will help over time. It’s not your responsibility to conform to their expectations if doing so diminishes your sense of self. By staying true to your values while showing compassion for their concerns, you’re paving the way for mutual respect and understanding.

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Dr Nandita

Dr Nandita Palshetkar  |36 Answers  |Ask -

Gynaecologist, IVF expert - Answered on Dec 26, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Dec 19, 2024Hindi
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Dr, I’m 35 years old from Jamnagar, and my husband and I have been trying for a baby for the past year, but nothing seems to be working. I recently visited a fertility clinic in neighborhood , and after a few tests, they mentioned that I might have blocked fallopian tubes. The gynaec also talked about possible treatments like surgery or IVF, but I’m really confused and worried. Should I go for a laparoscopy to check the severity, or are there any other alternatives that could help me? I’m really anxious and just want to understand my options better before making any decisions.
Ans: History noted.
Considering your age 35 years, trying to conceive since, one year and few test done, one of which suggest possibility of tubal blockage, there are various modalities of treatment.
Firstly, you can do laparoscopy to note the severity if blockage and do tubal cannulation.
Tubal cannulation is often the first line of treatment for patients with blocked fallopian tubes because it's a non-invasive procedure that's widely available.
Tubal cannulation is a procedure that can unblock fallopian tubes and is highly successful for proximal tubal blockages, with a success rate of over 80%. However, it may not be successful for all patients and is not recommended for distal tubal occlusions.
This procedure if successful can avoid IVF procedure. Laparoscopy has…
Yes, before ivf get all your blood test, ecg, 2 D echo, xray chest to rule out any illness
Same with your husband to get semen analysis and viral markers with blood sugars to be done.

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Dr Nandita

Dr Nandita Palshetkar  |36 Answers  |Ask -

Gynaecologist, IVF expert - Answered on Dec 26, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Dec 17, 2024Hindi
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Hello Doctor, I’m in my late 20s, and lately, I’ve been feeling like something’s off with my body. My periods either show up way too early, sometimes not at all for months. And, I’ve been putting on weight even though I haven’t changed my diet or exercise routine. My skin has also turned into a battlefield with acne all over, which I never used to have before. My cousin, who’s around my age, just found out she has PCOS, and her mom (my aunt) went through something similar when she was younger. Now, I’m scared because I’ve been hearing all these horror stories about how it can affect fertility, and I’m not even married yet. What if it’s a family thing and I end up facing the same problems? My mom says, ‘Don’t worry, it’ll be fine,’ but I can’t stop thinking about it. Should I see a gynecologist, or is there another kind of doctor I should be visiting? What tests should I do to get to the bottom of this before it gets worse? Honestly, I’m feeling overwhelmed and just want to know what’s going on before it’s too late.
Ans: Hello, noted your concerns
You are in late 20’s with irregular periods, acne, weight gain,
You are undergoing hormonal imbalance
We need to do certain blood test like
CBC, tsh prolactin fasting insulin level
Hba1c, testosterone level
DHEA, LH FSH ESTRADIOL LEVEL
Amd AMH level to check for fertility level
Usg pelvis to rule out
Pcos
The mainstay treatment. For pcos is lifestyle changes
1) Daily exercise, walks. Zumba, running
2) Good nutritious food with proteins, vitamins, minerals, low carbs and fats
3) good adequate sleep 7 to 8 hours
4) stress management: yoga meditation, breathing exercise
5) supplements to controls effects of pcos
6) low dose OC PILLS TO regularize the cycles

...Read more

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