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Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |7828 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Jun 06, 2024

Ramalingam Kalirajan has over 23 years of experience in mutual funds and financial planning.
He has an MBA in finance from the University of Madras and is a certified financial planner.
He is the director and chief financial planner at Holistic Investment, a Chennai-based firm that offers financial planning and wealth management advice.... more
Jyoti Question by Jyoti on Jun 02, 2024Hindi
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Hello sir I m doing sip of 6.k monthly from last one year Nippon India small cap fund 2k HDFC midcap opportunity 1k Quant small cap fund 1k SBI contra fund 2.5k So please guide me how much I have to invest to reach 50 lakh in next 10 yrs.or do I need to change any investment?

Ans: Firstly, commendations on taking proactive steps towards securing your financial future by investing in SIPs. It’s great to see your commitment and consistency in building wealth through mutual funds.

Current Investment Analysis
Your Current SIPs:

Nippon India Small Cap Fund: Rs. 2,000 monthly
HDFC Midcap Opportunities Fund: Rs. 1,000 monthly
Quant Small Cap Fund: Rs. 1,000 monthly
SBI Contra Fund: Rs. 2,500 monthly
Total Monthly Investment: Rs. 6,500

Calculating Future Value of Current Investments
To determine if your current SIPs will help you reach your goal of Rs. 50 lakh in 10 years, let's calculate the future value. Assuming an average annual return of 12%, the future value of your SIP can be estimated using the formula for the future value of an SIP:

Future Value (FV) = P × [ (1 + r)^n - 1 ] / r × (1 + r)

Where:

P is the monthly investment (SIP amount)
r is the monthly rate of return (annual return / 12)
n is the total number of investments (months)
For a 12% annual return:
r = 12/100 / 12 = 0.01

Total months n = 10 × 12 = 120

Let's calculate the future value for each SIP:

Nippon India Small Cap Fund
P = 2000
FV = 2000 × [ (1 + 0.01)^120 - 1 ] / 0.01 × (1 + 0.01)
FV = 2000 × [ 1.01^120 - 1 ] / 0.01 × 1.01
FV = 2000 × 232.97 × 1.01
FV ≈ 4,70,000

HDFC Midcap Opportunities Fund
P = 1000
FV = 1000 × 232.97 × 1.01
FV ≈ 2,35,000

Quant Small Cap Fund
P = 1000
FV = 1000 × 232.97 × 1.01
FV ≈ 2,35,000

SBI Contra Fund
P = 2500
FV = 2500 × 232.97 × 1.01
FV ≈ 5,87,000

Adding these, the total future value of your current SIPs will be:
4,70,000 + 2,35,000 + 2,35,000 + 5,87,000 = 15,27,000

Gap Analysis and Required SIP
Your goal is to accumulate Rs. 50 lakh, but your current SIPs will accumulate approximately Rs. 15.27 lakh. This leaves a shortfall:

Required Amount: Rs. 50 lakh

Current Future Value: Rs. 15.27 lakh

Shortfall: Rs. 50 lakh - Rs. 15.27 lakh = Rs. 34.73 lakh

To reach Rs. 50 lakh, you need to invest more. Let’s determine how much you need to invest monthly to bridge this gap.

Using the SIP future value formula, let's solve for P (the required monthly SIP amount) to reach Rs. 50 lakh:

50,00,000 = P × [ (1 + 0.01)^120 - 1 ] / 0.01 × (1 + 0.01)

50,00,000 = P × 232.97 × 1.01

50,00,000 = P × 235.30

P = 50,00,000 / 235.30

P ≈ 21,250

You need to invest approximately Rs. 21,250 per month to reach your goal of Rs. 50 lakh in 10 years, assuming a 12% annual return.

Reviewing Your Current Investments
Fund Performance and Diversification

Nippon India Small Cap Fund: Good for aggressive growth, but high risk.
HDFC Midcap Opportunities Fund: Balanced growth and risk.
Quant Small Cap Fund: Another high-risk, high-return option.
SBI Contra Fund: Contrarian approach, can offer good returns in underperforming sectors.
Your portfolio has a mix of small-cap, mid-cap, and contrarian strategies. It’s relatively aggressive, which is suitable for a long-term horizon but may need some balancing for risk management.

Suggestions for Portfolio Adjustment
Increase Investment Amount

To reach your goal, increase your monthly SIP to Rs. 21,250. You can adjust the distribution among existing funds or add new funds.

Diversification

Consider adding large-cap or multi-cap funds to diversify and reduce risk. Large-cap funds typically offer more stability and can balance the high-risk small-cap and mid-cap funds in your portfolio.

Why Actively Managed Funds
While index funds are popular, actively managed funds can provide better returns due to the expertise of fund managers. They can make strategic decisions and adapt to market conditions, potentially outperforming the index.

Direct vs. Regular Funds
Investing in direct funds saves on expense ratios, but it requires active management and market knowledge. Regular funds, through a Mutual Fund Distributor (MFD) with Certified Financial Planner (CFP) credentials, provide professional advice and management, which can be beneficial.

Conclusion
To achieve your goal of Rs. 50 lakh in the next 10 years, you need to increase your SIP to Rs. 21,250 per month. Diversify your investments to include large-cap or multi-cap funds to balance risk. Consider the benefits of actively managed funds and professional advice through regular funds.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in
DISCLAIMER: The content of this post by the expert is the personal view of the rediffGURU. Users are advised to pursue the information provided by the rediffGURU only as a source of information to be as a point of reference and to rely on their own judgement when making a decision.
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Ramalingam Kalirajan  |7828 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Aug 02, 2024

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Dear sir Now I am 37 years old working in banking sector my monthly salary is 45 k and my wife's take home is 20 k I have one personal loan emi around 24k already I am having SIP with 2.5 k every month now I need to plan for more how much I need to invest in SIP if I want to reach 30 L in next 5 years
Ans: Your Financial Picture
• Your monthly income: Rs. 45,000
• Your wife's monthly income: Rs. 20,000
• Total family income: Rs. 65,000
• Personal loan EMI: Rs. 24,000
• Current SIP: Rs. 2,500 per month

Your Goal

• Target amount: Rs. 30 lakhs
• Time frame: 5 years

Savings Potential

• After EMI, you have Rs. 41,000 left
• You're already investing Rs. 2,500 monthly
• There's room to increase your investments

Investment Strategy

To reach your goal, consider these steps:

• Increase your SIP amount
• Look at growth-oriented investment options
• Regularly review and adjust your plan

SIP Amount Needed

• You'll need to invest more to reach Rs. 30 lakhs
• A rough estimate is Rs. 35,000 to Rs. 40,000 monthly
• This assumes a yearly return of 12% to 15%

Increasing Your Investments

Here are some ways to boost your investment amount:

• Cut unnecessary expenses
• Use any salary hikes to increase SIP
• Invest bonuses or extra income
• Look for side income opportunities

Investment Options

For a 5-year goal, consider these options:

• Equity mutual funds for growth
• Balanced funds for moderate risk
• Debt funds for stability

Benefits of Regular Funds

• Professional management of your money
• Expert advice from certified financial planners
• Regular portfolio review and rebalancing
• Help in staying disciplined with investments

Risks to Consider

• Market volatility can affect short-term returns
• 5 years is a relatively short time for equity
• Your returns may vary from expectations

Regular Reviews

• Check your investments every 3-6 months
• Adjust your plan if needed
• Stay focused on your long-term goal

Protection First

• Ensure you have adequate life insurance
• Get a good health insurance policy
• Build an emergency fund of 3-6 months' expenses

Tax Planning

• Use tax-saving investment options wisely
• Don't invest only for tax benefits
• Look at overall returns and goal alignment

Finally

Your goal is ambitious but not impossible. Start increasing your investments right away. Stay disciplined and patient. Regular review and adjustments will help you reach your target.

Best Regards,
K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,
Chief Financial Planner,
www.holisticinvestment.in

..Read more

Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |7828 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Aug 13, 2024

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Dear sir Now I am 37 years old working in banking sector my monthly salary is 45 k and my wife's take home is 20 k I have one personal loan emi around 24k already I am having SIP with 2.5 k every month now I need to plan for more how much I need to invest in SIP if I want to reach 30 L in next 5 years
Ans: First, let’s appreciate your commitment to securing your financial future. Your combined monthly income is Rs. 65,000, and you already invest Rs. 2,500 monthly in a SIP. With a personal loan EMI of Rs. 24,000, your current financial situation requires careful planning.

Setting Your Financial Goal

Your goal is to accumulate Rs. 30 lakhs in the next five years. This goal is both realistic and achievable with disciplined investing. But before we determine the required SIP amount, we need to consider some factors like your current savings, expenses, and loan commitments.

Evaluating Your Current Savings and Expenses

After accounting for your EMI, you have Rs. 41,000 left. From this, we must also subtract your living expenses, existing SIP, and other financial commitments. Your disposable income after expenses will determine how much more you can invest.

Let’s assume that your monthly expenses (excluding the EMI and current SIP) are around Rs. 20,000. This leaves you with Rs. 21,000 that you can potentially allocate towards additional SIPs and other financial goals.

Calculating the SIP Required to Achieve Your Goal

Given your target of Rs. 30 lakhs in five years, you will need to invest a substantial amount monthly. To provide a rough estimate:

Current SIP: Your current Rs. 2,500 SIP is a good start, but it might not be enough to reach your goal of Rs. 30 lakhs.

Additional SIP Required: To achieve Rs. 30 lakhs in five years, you will need to invest more. Given an assumed average return rate of 12% per annum, you might need to invest around Rs. 35,000 monthly. However, the exact amount can vary based on market performance.

You can adjust the SIP amount based on your comfort and financial situation.

Balancing Loan Repayment and Investments

Balancing between loan repayment and investments is crucial. Your loan EMI is already a significant part of your income. If possible, consider prepaying part of your loan to reduce the EMI burden. This could free up more funds for SIPs.

If prepaying is not an option, focus on maintaining a healthy balance between loan repayment and investments.

Assessing the Need for Insurance

Since you have a personal loan, it’s wise to ensure you have adequate life insurance. A term insurance policy can secure your family’s financial future if something unfortunate happens. Additionally, health insurance is essential to avoid unexpected medical expenses.

Ensure your insurance coverage is adequate to protect your financial goals.

Importance of Regular Monitoring and Adjustment

Regularly monitoring your investments is key. Market conditions can change, and so can your financial situation. Reviewing your SIPs and overall financial plan annually will help you stay on track to achieve your goal.

Regular adjustments may be necessary to ensure your investments are aligned with your financial goals.

Why Actively Managed Funds Are Preferable

While index funds are popular, they may not be ideal for aggressive goals. Actively managed funds, where expert fund managers make strategic decisions, can potentially offer better returns. This can be beneficial, especially when trying to achieve a specific financial target.

Actively managed funds provide flexibility and the potential for higher returns.

Final Insights

Achieving Rs. 30 lakhs in five years is possible with disciplined investing. Consider increasing your monthly SIP, balancing it with your loan repayment, and ensuring you have adequate insurance coverage. Regular monitoring and adjustments are also crucial. With a careful approach, your financial goal can be achieved.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in

..Read more

Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |7828 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Oct 16, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Oct 15, 2024Hindi
Money
Sir my age is 35 and i am doing 2 Sip of Rs 2500 each with a increment of 10 % every year. I want to make a corpus amount of 1 cr by 50 age. How much should I invest more to reach that goal..
Ans: At 35 years of age, you have already embarked on a smart investment journey by investing in two Systematic Investment Plans (SIPs), each with a monthly contribution of Rs 2,500. In total, you are contributing Rs 5,000 per month. Moreover, the decision to increase your SIP by 10% every year is a well-thought-out strategy that will help you combat inflation and take advantage of the power of compounding.

Your goal is to accumulate Rs 1 crore by the time you turn 50, giving you a time horizon of 15 years. This is a realistic and achievable goal with the right strategy, but it’s crucial to assess how much more you need to invest to comfortably reach your target.

Understanding the Power of SIPs and Compounding

SIPs are one of the most effective tools for wealth creation, especially for long-term investors like you. They work on the principles of rupee cost averaging and the power of compounding, both of which are key factors in building wealth over time.

Rupee Cost Averaging: This allows you to buy more units when the market is down and fewer units when the market is high. Over time, this helps in averaging out the cost of your investments and reducing market risk.

Compounding: The true magic of wealth creation lies in compounding. The longer you stay invested, the more your returns grow. With the 10% annual increment you’ve already planned, your contributions will increase steadily, adding more fuel to the power of compounding.

Your Current SIPs: Are They Enough?

Now, let’s look at your current contributions. A monthly SIP of Rs 5,000 with a 10% annual increment is a solid start, but to determine if it’s enough to reach Rs 1 crore by the time you turn 50, we need to consider several factors:

Expected Rate of Return: Equity mutual funds typically provide returns in the range of 12-15% per annum over the long term. For this assessment, let’s assume a conservative return of 12%. It’s important to remember that markets fluctuate, and returns can vary. But historically, 12% is a reasonable expectation for equity investments.

Time Horizon: You have 15 years until you turn 50, which is a decent time horizon for compounding to work in your favour. The longer the horizon, the more powerful compounding becomes.

Your Goal: Your target is Rs 1 crore, which is achievable, but you may need to tweak your contributions to ensure you stay on track.

Gap Analysis: Estimating the Shortfall

Even though you are on the right track with your Rs 5,000 monthly SIP and a 10% annual increment, it’s important to evaluate whether these contributions are enough to meet your goal. A conservative estimate would indicate that you might fall short of your Rs 1 crore target if you continue with just Rs 5,000 per month.

This is where the concept of a gap analysis comes in. Based on your current SIP contributions, expected returns, and time horizon, you may not reach Rs 1 crore without increasing your investment amount. We estimate that you may need to increase your contributions to meet your target comfortably.

Increasing Your SIP: How Much More Should You Invest?

To achieve your Rs 1 crore goal by age 50, you will need to increase your monthly SIP contributions. Based on a 12% annual return, you would likely need to contribute an additional Rs 7,000 to Rs 10,000 per month.

This additional investment will help you bridge the gap between your current contributions and your final goal. By adding this increment now, you will benefit from the compounding effect over the next 15 years. The sooner you increase your SIP, the more your wealth will grow.

Benefits of Actively Managed Funds

While SIPs are an excellent way to invest, the type of funds you choose plays a significant role in achieving your financial goals. Actively managed mutual funds, when invested through a Certified Financial Planner (CFP) and a Mutual Fund Distributor (MFD), offer several advantages over passive funds like index funds or ETFs.

Professional Management: Actively managed funds are handled by experienced fund managers who have the expertise to select the right mix of assets. They constantly monitor the market and make adjustments to the portfolio to optimise returns.

Flexibility: Unlike index funds, which mirror the market and cannot adjust during market downturns, actively managed funds can reallocate assets based on market conditions. This flexibility helps to mitigate risks and capture opportunities that passive funds might miss.

Better Potential Returns: Over time, actively managed funds have the potential to outperform index funds, especially during market volatility. This is because they are not tied to a specific benchmark and can choose high-growth sectors.

Disadvantages of Index Funds

While index funds have gained popularity due to their low costs, they may not be the best option for you, given your goal and time horizon. Here are some key disadvantages of index funds:

Limited Returns: Index funds aim to replicate the market’s performance. This means that during market downturns, they cannot avoid losses. Actively managed funds, on the other hand, have the potential to outperform by adjusting their portfolios during such times.

No Flexibility: Since index funds simply follow the market, they lack the flexibility to take advantage of emerging opportunities or shield the portfolio from market corrections.

Missed Opportunities: In a market where certain sectors or stocks are performing better than others, index funds are unable to capitalise on these opportunities. Actively managed funds can.

Diversifying Your Portfolio for Long-Term Growth

To maximise your returns and minimise risks, it’s essential to diversify your investments across various sectors. Diversification spreads risk and allows you to capture growth from different segments of the economy.

Here’s a suggested sector allocation for a well-diversified portfolio:

Large-Cap Stocks (40%): These are established companies with a strong track record. Large-cap stocks provide stability and steady growth, which is essential for the core of your portfolio.

Mid-Cap Stocks (30%): Mid-cap companies have higher growth potential than large-cap stocks. They are more volatile but offer a balanced risk-return profile.

Small-Cap Stocks (20%): Small-cap stocks are the most volatile, but they also have the highest potential for growth. Allocating a small portion of your portfolio to small-cap stocks can boost your overall returns.

Sectoral Funds (10%): Certain sectors, like IT, Pharma, and Renewable Energy, have strong growth potential. A small allocation in sectoral funds can help capture the growth in these high-performing sectors.

Importance of Staying Invested for the Long Term

While it’s tempting to react to short-term market fluctuations, the key to successful investing is staying invested for the long term. Markets may go up and down, but over time, they tend to grow. By staying invested and continuing your SIPs, you are likely to benefit from market recoveries and long-term growth.

Rebalancing Your Portfolio Regularly

As market conditions change, it’s important to review and rebalance your portfolio regularly. Rebalancing helps you lock in profits and ensures that your portfolio remains aligned with your risk tolerance and financial goals. A Certified Financial Planner can assist you in this process by making necessary adjustments based on your evolving needs and market trends.

Taxation on Mutual Fund Gains

When investing in mutual funds, it’s essential to consider taxation, as it can impact your final corpus. Here are the tax implications for equity mutual funds:

Long-Term Capital Gains (LTCG): Gains above Rs 1.25 lakh in a financial year are taxed at 12.5%. This tax applies to equity mutual funds held for more than one year.

Short-Term Capital Gains (STCG): If you sell your equity mutual funds within one year, STCG is taxed at 20%. It’s advisable to hold your equity investments for the long term to benefit from lower tax rates and compounding.

Surrendering Traditional Insurance Policies

If you hold traditional insurance policies, such as LIC or ULIPs, it may be worth considering surrendering them. These policies often provide lower returns compared to mutual funds. By reinvesting the surrendered amount into SIPs, you can potentially enhance your wealth-building strategy and reach your Rs 1 crore goal faster.

Inflation and Your Investment Goals

Inflation can erode the purchasing power of your money over time. This is why it’s important to not only focus on achieving a Rs 1 crore corpus but also ensure that your investments grow faster than inflation. Equity mutual funds are known to beat inflation over the long term, making them an ideal choice for your goal.

Final Insights

To achieve your Rs 1 crore goal by age 50, you need to increase your monthly SIP contributions by Rs 7,000 to Rs 10,000. This additional investment, combined with your current strategy and the power of compounding, will help you reach your goal comfortably. A well-diversified portfolio of large-cap, mid-cap, small-cap, and sectoral funds will further enhance your returns while managing risks.

Regular monitoring, rebalancing, and staying invested for the long term are crucial for success. With the help of a Certified Financial Planner, you can ensure that your investments remain aligned with your goals, market conditions, and personal circumstances.

By following these strategies, you will not only reach your Rs 1 crore target but also build a strong financial foundation for the future.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,
www.holisticinvestment.in
https://www.youtube.com/@HolisticInvestment

..Read more

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Asked by Anonymous - Jan 27, 2025Hindi
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Unable to figure out what to do. Shouls i proceed for divorce? And if yes how? Here is my story: This is a long post. But i might have still missed few small instances in between. So I got married on October 3, 2022. Our conversation started through the Jeevansathi app, but the actual conversation began in July 2022 when her father contacted me. The first contact was from their side. At that time, I was returning to Chennai from Ongole by train when I received her father's call. He asked about my job and other details, to which I mentioned that I work for SBI in Tamil Nadu. After that, our conversation started. In the early days, the conversation was really good, and she spoke very well. Later, I visited their house with my mother. During the conversation there, she mentioned that many proposals had come before, but she hadn't been able to decide. One proposal was from a guy with a package of 30 lakh, but she clearly said that money doesn’t matter to her; she wanted a good person. During that meeting, I mentioned that I am a simple person, and my family consists of only my mother and me. I also clarified that due to my job, I could be transferred. After that meeting, we did the formal engagement. Later, we brought sweets from Haldiram, and that was when our engagement was officially recognized. After that, our conversations continued regularly. For a while, everything was fine, but then we started arguing over small things. Once, I told her that I meditate, and she said, "Meditation is something foolish people do, it doesn’t help." This led to an argument. I also mentioned that if we have children, we should send them to good universities like Harvard or Oxford, and this too led to an argument, as she felt we shouldn't put pressure on children to earn money. Then came the topic of money. I shared my salary slip and explained how both working and saving money are important because expenses are high. 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Over these two months, our communication continued, and eventually, on October 2, 2022, we had our engagement ceremony, and on October 3, 2022, we got married. After the wedding, we planned a honeymoon. Initially, she wanted to go to Vaishno Devi, so I took her there by Vande Bharat Express. Her uncle arranged VIP darshan. We walked up, but on the way back, her legs started hurting, so we rode a horse. After sitting on the horse for a long time, she had back pain. I reached the hotel, tried to soothe her pain by soaking her legs in hot water, and then we slept. After that, we planned to go to Udaipur. We took a SpiceJet flight there and booked a hotel near Fatehpur Sagar Lake. She wanted a lake-view room, but it wasn’t available. She argued with the staff, and we had to move to another hotel at night. The environment there wasn’t great, but she chose it. During our visit to Udaipur Fort, she suddenly said she wouldn’t go to the restaurant with me and would go home alone. I still don’t understand the reason behind this. From that point, my behavior towards her changed. After Udaipur, we planned to go to Agra. There, she suddenly accused me of having an affair with another girl and threatened to teach me a lesson. I asked her where this thought came from, but she didn’t answer. In July and August 2022, I visited her again. We traveled together and tried to understand each other better, but she never told me much about herself. After the wedding, I visited her during Diwali. She was happy initially, but gradually she became distant and stopped talking much. She wasn’t involved in decorating the house or participating in the Diwali puja. She remained absorbed in her own world, talking to her parents or I don’t know who else, while distancing herself from me. She needed reasons to fight, while I tried to stay calm, as it was a new marriage. On October 25, 2022, I returned to Chennai, and she came to Chennai a few days later. My mother also arrived in Chennai on October 26, and she stayed with us in Chennai until December. During this time, she started fighting over every little thing. She complained about who would do the housework and kept accusing me of not having enough money. She suggested hiring someone for cleaning, even though my mother and I managed it well. Then she refused to sleep with me, and we didn’t have any physical intimacy. Whenever she fought with me, she tried to belittle me. In January, she went back to Delhi, and I went to convince her to come back in January. During Lohri, I gave her a sari and gifts, but she still didn’t talk to me properly. She treated me very badly and didn’t want to stay with us. She fought with me several times and went back to her house. In February 2023, she came to Chennai again, but things were still not right between us. In April 2024, she came back to stay with me, but the very next day, the fights started again. She accused me of having an affair with another girl and threatened me. She destroyed things in the house, broke dishes and glasses, and created a mess. When I told her mother about this, she advised me to send her back. I booked her flight, and on April 7, 2024, she left. Since then, she has not been living with me. After that, I worked hard to bring her back. It was September when I managed to convince her to come. I tried to make her stay with me, but she stayed only for 4-5 days. On the 5th day, she started fighting again and decided to leave. She went to the railway station and sat there, saying, "I cannot live with you." We argued that night, and she left the house, shouting abuses at me and went back to her home. She thought everything would be fine, but when I tried talking to her, she started blaming me for not wanting her to stay with me.
Ans: It sounds like you've tried very hard to make this marriage work, but your wife has been emotionally distant, hostile, and unwilling to engage in a meaningful relationship. From what you’ve shared, there have been continuous conflicts, false accusations, and a lack of physical and emotional connection. It seems like she is not interested in making the relationship work, and her behavior—leaving multiple times, refusing intimacy, and fighting constantly—suggests deep incompatibility.

Before making a final decision, ask yourself: Is there anything left to salvage? Do you still love her and believe this marriage has hope if both of you genuinely try? Or do you feel exhausted and trapped in a cycle of disappointment and rejection? If you feel there is nothing left, then divorce may be the healthiest option for your peace of mind and future happiness.

If you decide to proceed with divorce, start by seeking legal counsel. In India, divorce can be mutual or contested. If she agrees, a mutual consent divorce is the easiest way. If she does not, you may need to file on grounds of cruelty or irretrievable breakdown of marriage. Gather evidence of her behavior—messages, incidents, and anything that proves your case.

This is not an easy decision, but your mental health and self-respect matter. If she is unwilling to change or make efforts, you should not have to live in constant conflict. Do you think she would agree to a mutual separation, or would she fight it?

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Kanchan Rai  |525 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Feb 04, 2025

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Hello Ma'am, I've a crush on a girl from my in laws. Inspite of avoiding etc I go specifically in that gathering where she's likely to be. I've not told it to anyone, neither does she know about it. I keep on masturbating imagining her. I know I'll never do any silly thing or let anyone know about it. Im married happily and 20 years elder to her.
Ans: It’s good that you are self-aware and acknowledging your feelings rather than acting on them impulsively. Having a crush, even in a committed relationship, is something that happens to many people—it’s human nature. However, since this involves someone from your in-laws and is significantly younger, it’s important to address these emotions in a way that aligns with your values and the commitments you’ve made to your marriage.

Right now, your mind is reinforcing this attraction by seeking out opportunities to be around her and fantasizing about her. The more you indulge in these thoughts, the stronger the emotional pull becomes. Avoiding her entirely may not be realistic, but reducing intentional exposure—such as seeking out gatherings just to be near her—can help weaken the attachment over time.

Instead of suppressing your feelings, redirect that energy into your marriage. What is it about her that attracts you? Is it youthfulness, attention, admiration, or just the thrill of something new? Whatever it is, find ways to bring those qualities into your relationship with your wife. Sometimes, an outside attraction is just a signal that something in your own life needs attention or excitement.

You’ve already made it clear to yourself that you won’t act on this, which shows maturity and self-control. The next step is breaking the mental cycle that feeds into the attraction. Engage in hobbies, meaningful conversations with your spouse, and self-reflection to understand what this infatuation represents. Over time, these feelings will lose their intensity as you shift your focus.

Do you think this crush is filling a certain emotional gap in your life, or is it purely an infatuation with no deeper meaning?

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Kanchan

Kanchan Rai  |525 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Feb 04, 2025

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Relationship
Me and my wife don't get along well...She thinks my family members are not good enough, so she has no relationship with them. Earlier I was not in good shape due to my friend's circle and did not give quality time to my wife when we got married. A few years back there was a misunderstanding between both families. Mistakes were from both sides. Now my in-laws and wife do speak to any member of our family and have broken all relationships. This is for the past several years since they have stopped talking. My father is a cancer patient and wants to come and stay with me. He is 80 now but my wife is deadly against this though I have not discussed this yet with her. I need your guidance as to how to handle this situation and restore a good relationship between both families. My mother-in-law had fought with me in the past as well and held me responsible for her daughter's plight. My wife is very secretive and does not reveal anything be it about her salary/job etc. I am fed up and now I have started to think of separating if she does not allow my father to stay with me. Our marriage is almost 24 years now. I am 50 and she is in her late 40's....I want to get these things right and maintain a good relationship between both families. Kindly advise
Ans: Dear Trilok,
From what you’ve shared, it sounds like past misunderstandings between both families have turned into a long-standing rift. It’s understandable that you want to fix things and create harmony, but the resistance from your wife and in-laws makes it complicated. Before addressing the larger family conflict, the first step is to work on communication with your wife. You mentioned that earlier in the marriage, you weren’t able to give her enough quality time due to personal struggles. Do you think she still holds on to resentment from that time? If so, addressing those unresolved emotions could be a starting point for rebuilding some connection.

Since she is very secretive, it’s possible that she also feels disconnected from you in some way. Instead of making the father-staying discussion an immediate confrontation, try to understand her underlying fears. Is she worried about responsibilities, space, or past issues with your family? Bringing this up as a conversation about caregiving rather than a demand might help.

If her resistance is absolute and she refuses to even consider it, you’ll have to decide how much compromise you’re willing to make for the sake of your marriage. If you feel separation is a real possibility, ask yourself whether the relationship still has a foundation worth saving or if both of you have simply grown too far apart.

Would she be open to counseling or mediation? Sometimes a third party can help break the cycle of blame and secrecy. Do you feel that she still values this marriage, or has she emotionally distanced herself completely?

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Kanchan

Kanchan Rai  |525 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Feb 04, 2025

Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |7828 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Feb 04, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Jan 28, 2025Hindi
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Money
I want to retire by 2026. Current financials - MF 2cr value, equity- 5cr, 2 own homes, bank FD - 20L, Savings a/c - 90L, no loans, 2 vehicles, 2 daughters employed, marriageable age. Current expenses - 1.5lacs/month. How do I plan to retire by March 2026.
Ans: Your financial position is strong. Planning for retirement in March 2026 is realistic.

Assessing Your Retirement Readiness
Your total investments and savings exceed Rs 8 crore.
You have no loans, ensuring financial stability.
Your monthly expenses are Rs 1.5 lakh, which requires proper planning.
Creating a Secure Retirement Corpus
Maintain Rs 90 lakh in a savings account only for short-term needs.
Keep Rs 20 lakh in FD for emergency expenses.
Use a mix of mutual funds and equities for long-term wealth growth.
Managing Monthly Expenses Post-Retirement
Use Systematic Withdrawal Plans (SWP) from mutual funds for a regular income.
Keep a portion of your corpus in debt investments to ensure stability.
Adjust your investment strategy based on inflation and expenses.
Planning for Major Future Expenses
Daughters' weddings need a dedicated investment plan.
Allocate a portion of low-risk investments for this goal.
Avoid withdrawing from equity investments unnecessarily.
Final Insights
Your financial standing supports early retirement.
Ensure liquidity while keeping long-term investments intact.
Work with a Certified Financial Planner for detailed execution.
Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in
https://www.youtube.com/@HolisticInvestment

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DISCLAIMER: The content of this post by the expert is the personal view of the rediffGURU. Investment in securities market are subject to market risks. Read all the related document carefully before investing. The securities quoted are for illustration only and are not recommendatory. Users are advised to pursue the information provided by the rediffGURU only as a source of information and as a point of reference and to rely on their own judgement when making a decision. RediffGURUS is an intermediary as per India's Information Technology Act.

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