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Nitin

Nitin Narkhede  | Answer  |Ask -

MF, PF Expert - Answered on Jul 02, 2025

Nitin Narkhede, founder of the Prosperity Lifestyle Hub, is a certified financial advisor with eight years of experience in helping clients design and implement comprehensive financial life plans.
As a mentor, Nitin has trained over 1,000 individuals, many of whom have seen remarkable financial transformations.
Nitin holds various certifications including the Association Of Mutual Funds in India (AMFI), the Insurance Regulatory and Development Authority and accreditations from several insurance and mutual fund aggregators.
He is a mechanical engineer from the J T Mahajan College, Jalgaon, with 34 years of experience of working with MNCs like Skoda Auto India, Volkswagen India and ThyssenKrupp Electrical Steel India.... more
Asked by Anonymous - Jun 29, 2025Hindi
Money

Hello sir, This is in connection to your previous insightful guidence. 1.I have stopped my investment in postal life insurance. 2. Started term insurance. Thereafter, i need little more from u. Before that i would like to reframe my financials as under- In hand salary - 48k Home loan emi- 21k Term insurance- 1.3k Domestic expences- 15k (roughly) Reserves monthly- 4/5k Amt available for investment- 6k approx. Kindly suggest over the info given with goal of 1.5cr. @ when i am 50. At present my age is 33 yrs. Along with that i will be incresing investment 10% annually.

Ans: Dear Friend,
At 33, with a take-home salary of ?48,000 and a home loan EMI of ?21,000, you’ve made commendable financial choices—starting a term insurance plan and stopping postal life insurance. You have around ?6,000 monthly available for investment and aim to build a corpus of ?1.5 crore by age 50 (in 17 years). By starting a SIP of ?6,000/month and increasing it by 10% annually, while targeting an average return of 12% via diversified equity mutual funds (like Parag Parikh Flexi Cap, Mirae Asset Large Cap, or HDFC Nifty 50 Index Fund), you can realistically reach your target. Additionally, allocate ?4–5K/month to build a ?50,000 emergency fund to handle unexpected expenses. Continue your disciplined approach and review your investments yearly to adjust for inflation and income growth. This simple yet consistent strategy can help you achieve financial freedom by age 50. Stay invested and stay disciplined.

Regards, Nitin Narkhede -Founder, Prosperity Lifestyle Hub,
Free webinar https://bit.ly/PLH-Webinar
DISCLAIMER: The content of this post by the expert is the personal view of the rediffGURU. Users are advised to pursue the information provided by the rediffGURU only as a source of information to be as a point of reference and to rely on their own judgement when making a decision.
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Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |10870 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on May 10, 2024

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Sir, Myself 31 yr married and a working professional in Pvt sector with an emergency Corpus of 1,50,000 which would be okay for me till 4-6 months. I already have term insurance of 1 cr and health insurance for my family. I want to seek advice on investment. I have still not started any investment in stocks or MF. My financial goals are as below: Short term : 1. Car under 10 lac after 6 - 7 years 2. House (2bhk) in 10-12 years (i already stay at our parents own house so not in a hurry to purchase my own house) Long term : 1. Child education after 17 years with a Corpus of 20-25 lacs 2. Child marriage after 22 years with a Corpus of 25-30 lacs 3. Retirement after 25 years with a Corpus of 1 cr. My current salary is 50k in hand. Pls suggest.
Ans: Given your financial goals and current situation, it's great to see that you've already established an emergency corpus and have adequate insurance coverage. Now, let's focus on your investment strategy to achieve your goals.

For your short-term goals like buying a car and a house, which are 6-12 years away, consider investing in a mix of equity and debt instruments. Equity mutual funds can provide the potential for higher returns over the long term, which aligns well with your time horizon. Debt instruments like fixed deposits or debt mutual funds can offer stability for your shorter-term goals.

For your long-term goals, such as your child's education, marriage, and your retirement, you can afford to take more risk and invest primarily in equity mutual funds. These investments have the potential to generate higher returns over a longer period, helping you build the required corpus.

Since you're new to investing in stocks or mutual funds, it's advisable to start with systematic investment plans (SIPs). SIPs allow you to invest regularly in mutual funds, helping you benefit from rupee-cost averaging and reducing the impact of market volatility.

Considering your current salary of 50k in hand, assess your monthly surplus after meeting your expenses and allocate a portion towards SIPs for each of your goals. A Certified Financial Planner can assist you in creating a customized investment plan tailored to your goals, risk tolerance, and financial situation.

Remember to review your investments periodically and make adjustments as needed to stay on track towards achieving your financial goals. With discipline and patience, you can build a solid foundation for your future financial security.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in

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Ramalingam Kalirajan  |10870 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on May 18, 2024

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Hello sir, Myself Prakash, age 31. I am a salaried person (married) working in private sector and my in hand salary is 50k. I have joint bank loan of 33L for 20 years for our house jointly by three of us (brothers) in which I am paying 9-9.5k per month (4 yrs already passed). My monthly expenses are approx 35k. I have a Emergency Corpus of 1.5L. I have a term insurance policy of 1 cr with a premium of 1.7k to be paid till 2032. I have health insurance also for my family with premium of 1.5k We also have covered our parents in separate health policy of premium 40-42k per year split equally between three of us. Pls suggest investment for my below mentioned goals. A. Short term goal 1. Small Car after 6 yrs of approx 7-8L 2. Own house after 15 years of approx 35-40L B. Long term goal 1. Child education fund after 17 yrs of 15L 2. Child marriage fund after 24 yrs of 25 L 3. Retirement fund after 24 yrs which would give me monthly 50k. Pls advise.
Ans: Dear Prakash,

It's great to see your proactive approach towards financial planning, especially with such diverse goals. Let's outline a comprehensive investment strategy to help you achieve your short and long-term objectives.

Your dedication to securing your family's future through meticulous financial planning is truly commendable and sets a strong example for responsible wealth management.

Short-Term Goals
Small Car Purchase (6 Years):
Savings Approach:
Allocate a portion of your monthly savings towards a dedicated fund for the small car purchase. Aim to save at least 7-8 lakhs over the next 6 years.
Own House (15 Years):
Investment Strategy:
Consider long-term investment options such as mutual funds or Public Provident Fund (PPF) to accumulate the required down payment for your future house. Aim for a corpus of 35-40 lakhs in 15 years.
Long-Term Goals
Child Education Fund (17 Years):
Systematic Investment Plan (SIP):
Start a SIP in equity mutual funds or balanced funds to build a corpus of 15 lakhs for your child's education over the next 17 years. Opt for a diversified portfolio to manage risk.
Child Marriage Fund (24 Years):
Strategic Investing:
Begin investing in equity-oriented instruments or a combination of equity and debt to accumulate 25 lakhs for your child's marriage expenses over 24 years. Review and adjust your investment portfolio periodically.
Retirement Fund (24 Years):
Retirement Planning:
To generate a monthly income of 50,000 post-retirement, focus on building a substantial retirement corpus through a mix of equity, debt, and other income-generating assets.
Diversified Portfolio:
Invest systematically in retirement-oriented mutual funds, National Pension System (NPS), and other retirement-focused investment avenues. Ensure a balanced allocation to minimize risk and maximize returns.
Risk Management and Insurance
Term Insurance:

Your existing term insurance coverage of 1 crore provides essential financial protection for your family. Continue paying premiums regularly to maintain coverage.
Health Insurance:

Maintain your health insurance coverage for your family and parents to safeguard against unforeseen medical expenses. Consider reviewing your policy periodically to ensure adequate coverage.
Conclusion
By adopting a disciplined approach to saving and investing, you can effectively achieve your short and long-term financial goals. Remember to periodically reassess your financial plan and make necessary adjustments to stay on track.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in

..Read more

Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |10870 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Jun 25, 2024

Money
Dear Financial Advisor I am 44 years old and currently earning a monthly salary of ?1.60 lakhs. I have the following financial obligations and investments: - Home Loan 1: ?31.49 lakhs towards a home in Pune, with a remaining tenure of 128 months, an interest rate of 8.35%, and a monthly EMI of ?30,000. - Home Loan 2: ?8.20 lakhs with an original loan tenure of 182 months, a remaining balance of 116 months, an interest rate of 9.35%, and a monthly EMI of ?5,410. - Car Loan: ?6 lakhs for 5 years, with a monthly EMI of ?10,476. - Rent: ?15,000 per month for a rented home in Navi Mumbai. My investments include: - Mutual Funds: ?20,000 per month. - Equities: Total investment of ?20 lakhs. - Insurance: - Health Insurance: ?21,000 per annum for a cover of ?10 lakhs. - Term Plan: ?50 lakhs for myself and ?50 lakhs for my wife. My retirement goal is to accumulate ?20 crores. Please provide guidance on how to achieve this goal, considering my current financial situation and investments. Sincerely, Abhishek Jain
Ans: Dear Abhishek,

It's great to see your proactive approach toward financial planning. At 44, with a monthly salary of Rs 1.60 lakhs, you are at a crucial juncture to optimize your investments and obligations to meet your retirement goal of Rs 20 crores.

Understanding Your Current Financial Situation
Income and Expenses
Your monthly income is Rs 1.60 lakhs. This is a good amount to manage your obligations and investments. Here's a snapshot of your expenses:

Home Loan 1: Rs 31.49 lakhs with EMI of Rs 30,000 for 128 months at 8.35%.
Home Loan 2: Rs 8.20 lakhs with EMI of Rs 5,410 for 116 months at 9.35%.
Car Loan: Rs 6 lakhs with EMI of Rs 10,476 for 5 years.
Rent: Rs 15,000 per month for a rented home in Navi Mumbai.
Your total loan EMIs and rent sum up to Rs 60,886 monthly. Adding regular living expenses, savings, and investment plans, your budget allocation needs a strategic review.

Investments and Insurance
Mutual Funds and Equities
You invest Rs 20,000 monthly in mutual funds and have Rs 20 lakhs in equities. This is a robust start. However, evaluating the performance and diversity of these investments is essential. Ensure your mutual fund portfolio includes a mix of large-cap, mid-cap, and small-cap funds for balanced growth and risk management.

Health and Term Insurance
Health Insurance: Rs 21,000 annually for a cover of Rs 10 lakhs.
Term Plan: Rs 50 lakhs each for you and your wife.
Your insurance coverage is adequate for your current needs. However, revisiting your health insurance to ensure it covers all possible medical expenses and conditions is always wise.

Analyzing Financial Goals and Obligations
Home and Car Loans
You have significant loan obligations, and here’s how you can manage them effectively:

Home Loan 1 and 2: Consider prepaying these loans whenever you get a bonus or windfall. This reduces the principal amount, saving you interest in the long term.

Car Loan: Given its high-interest rate, prioritize paying off this loan early. Car loans are depreciating assets, and clearing this loan sooner can free up funds for other investments.

Retirement Goal: Rs 20 Crores
Assessment of Current Investments
Reaching a goal of Rs 20 crores by retirement requires strategic planning and disciplined investing. Here's a breakdown:

Mutual Funds: Your monthly investment of Rs 20,000 should continue, but ensure it's allocated in diversified funds. Actively managed funds can offer better returns compared to index funds, despite higher fees. These funds are managed by professionals aiming to outperform the market.

Equities: Your Rs 20 lakhs in equities should be monitored regularly. Equity markets are volatile, but with a long-term horizon, they can yield significant returns. Ensure your equity investments are diversified across sectors to mitigate risks.

Enhancing Investment Strategy
Increase SIP Contributions: Gradually increase your SIP contributions by 10-15% annually. This leverages the power of compounding and helps you reach your retirement corpus faster.

Regular Funds over Direct Funds: While direct mutual funds have lower expense ratios, regular funds offer the benefit of professional guidance through a certified financial planner (CFP). This guidance can be invaluable, especially in volatile markets.

Asset Allocation: Maintain a balanced asset allocation. As you approach retirement, shift from high-risk investments like equities to more stable options. However, don't move entirely to low-risk investments, as some exposure to equity can combat inflation.

Risk Management and Insurance
Health Insurance: Ensure your health cover is comprehensive. Given rising medical costs, a cover of Rs 10 lakhs is good, but consider increasing it based on family health history and future healthcare needs.

Term Insurance: Your term plans provide a solid safety net. Ensure the sum assured is 10-15 times your annual income. Also, consider adding critical illness riders if not already included.

Debt Management
Prepay High-Interest Loans: As mentioned, prioritize prepaying your car loan due to its higher interest rate. For home loans, look for part-payment options to reduce the principal.

Emergency Fund: Maintain an emergency fund covering at least 6 months of expenses. This should be in a liquid form like a savings account or liquid mutual fund to access it easily during emergencies.

Maximizing Savings
Tax-efficient Investments: Utilize tax-saving instruments like ELSS (Equity Linked Savings Scheme), PPF (Public Provident Fund), and NPS (National Pension System). These not only save tax but also offer good returns.

Review and Adjust: Regularly review your financial plan with a CFP. Life events like salary hikes, job changes, or major expenses should trigger a review. Adjust your plan to stay on track with your goals.

Empathy and Understanding Your Financial Journey
Your dedication to securing your family's future and planning for retirement is commendable. It's essential to stay disciplined and adaptive to market changes. Financial planning is a journey requiring periodic adjustments and strategic decisions.

Final Insights
Your financial journey is on the right track with prudent investments and comprehensive insurance coverage. By strategically managing your loans, increasing your SIPs, and maintaining a balanced asset allocation, you can achieve your retirement goal of Rs 20 crores. Regularly consulting with a CFP will ensure your plan stays aligned with your financial aspirations.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in

..Read more

Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |10870 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Jul 27, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Jul 20, 2024Hindi
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Hello Sir, I am 32 yrs old, Engineer, Married, expecting 1st kid by nxt yr, Parents getting pension of 50k. Income: 60k in Hand + 20-30k (perks separate) Needs: 25k max Investments: Saving account: 60k Emergency fund: For 12 months+ (2.5 lacs)- returns 5.5-6% RoR EPF: 0 ULIP funds: 3 lacs (CV 4.6 lacs, 10 years left) 60k/yr 1Cr Term Plan + 10 lacs critical illness cover (5 yrs left) 36k/yr Assets: Owns a 3 Bhk flat with own income Ancestral property (value 20 lacs approx, 2 Floored house- expected rent 15k/mnth in next 1 yr) Gold: 90-100 gms Own a car & a 2 wheeler X No health insurance for self & wife till 35 yrs of age Goals: Plz guide me for: 1. Early retirement by the age of 50 yrs. 2. Investment strategy for SIP, PPF, RBI Bond funds, mutual funds, SGBs or any other funds which you find suitable. 3. Buying a term plan of 1-2cr for my wife. 4. Buying a house as per my wants @ 43 yrs (PV in 2024: 70-80 lacs) 5. Build a corpus for kids higher education & marraige Thanks & Regards
Ans: Current Financial Situation
Age: 32 years old

Profession: Engineer

Family: Married, expecting first child next year

Parents: Receiving a pension of Rs. 50k

Income: Rs. 60k in hand + Rs. 20-30k perks

Needs: Rs. 25k max

Investments:

Saving account: Rs. 60k
Emergency fund: Rs. 2.5 lakhs (12 months+)
ULIP funds: Rs. 3 lakhs (Current value Rs. 4.6 lakhs, 10 years left, Rs. 60k/year)
Term Plan: Rs. 1 crore + Rs. 10 lakhs critical illness cover (5 years left, Rs. 36k/year)
Assets:

Owns a 3 BHK flat with own income
Ancestral property (value Rs. 20 lakhs, 2-floored house, expected rent Rs. 15k/month in next year)
Gold: 90-100 grams
Own a car & a 2-wheeler
Insurance: No health insurance for self and wife till 35 years of age

Financial Goals
Early retirement by age 50.
Investment strategy for SIP, PPF, RBI Bond funds, mutual funds, SGBs, or any other suitable funds.
Buy a term plan of Rs. 1-2 crore for wife.
Buy a house at age 43 (PV in 2024: Rs. 70-80 lakhs).
Build a corpus for child’s higher education and marriage.
Assessment of Current Strategy
Emergency Fund
You have a good emergency fund. This is a crucial safety net.

ULIP Funds
Your ULIP has a high cost. Consider moving to more efficient investment options.

Term Insurance
Your current term plan is good. Consider adding more coverage.

Ancestral Property
The expected rent will provide a steady income stream.

Gold
Gold is a stable asset but consider other investment avenues for growth.

Recommendations for Improvement
Health Insurance
Immediate Action: Get health insurance for yourself and your wife. This protects against unforeseen medical expenses.
Investment Strategy
SIP in Mutual Funds:

Diversified Equity Funds: Start SIPs in diversified equity mutual funds. These funds have high growth potential.
Allocation: Consider investing Rs. 15-20k monthly in SIPs.
PPF:

Tax Benefits: PPF is a good tax-saving instrument. It provides stable, risk-free returns.
Contribution: Start contributing Rs. 1.5 lakhs annually to PPF.
RBI Bonds and SGBs:

RBI Bonds: Invest in RBI Bonds for safe, long-term returns.
Sovereign Gold Bonds (SGBs): Invest in SGBs for additional gold exposure with interest.
Mutual Funds:

Actively Managed Funds: Prefer actively managed funds over index funds for better returns.
Diversification: Invest in a mix of large-cap, mid-cap, and small-cap funds.
Term Insurance for Wife
Coverage: Buy a term plan of Rs. 1-2 crore for your wife. This ensures financial security.
Future House Purchase
Savings Plan: Start saving for the house you want to buy at age 43.
Investment: Allocate a portion of your monthly savings to a dedicated house fund.
Child’s Education and Marriage Corpus
Education: Start an SIP dedicated to your child’s education. Aim for a mix of equity and debt funds.
Marriage: Similarly, start a separate SIP for your child’s marriage expenses.
Additional Recommendations
Review and Adjust:

Annual Review: Regularly review your investments. Adjust based on performance and goals.
Diversify Portfolio:

Reduce ULIP: Consider moving funds from ULIP to mutual funds for better growth.
Balanced Portfolio: Ensure a balanced mix of equity, debt, and other assets.
Tax Planning:

Maximize Benefits: Use tax-saving instruments like PPF, ELSS, and NPS.
Final Insights
Your current strategy is a good start. Health insurance is a must. Diversify your investments through SIPs, PPF, RBI Bonds, and SGBs.

Consider adding more term insurance for your wife. Plan for future house purchase and child’s education/marriage by starting dedicated SIPs.

Review and adjust your portfolio annually. Ensure a balanced mix of assets for growth and security.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP

Chief Financial Planner

www.holisticinvestment.in

..Read more

Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |10870 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Jan 30, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Jan 30, 2025Hindi
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Hi, I am 41 years old and Married. I have 2 kids one daughter 15 years and son 7 years old. I am drawing annually 24 Lakhs salary. Having 3 houses one self occupied and two give letout with annual 4.2 lakhs rental income. All houses worth together 3 Crores. Housing loans principle outstanding of 85 lakhs with interest rate of 8.6% with monthly EMI of 1.13 lakhs per month for next 9 years. As of today I have SIP worth 90 lakhs with an IRR of 20%, Bank FD 30 lakhs – 7%, PPF 47 lakhs and PF 26 lakhs. I have term insurance of 1 CR and my wife term insurance of 50 Lakhs. For these for next 5 years, I have to pay premium of 1 lakh per annum. Medical insurance from company 5 lakh per annum for my family of 4 members. I am continuing my SIP of 86K per month – flexi cap 24L, small cap 29K, large cap 19K, Mid cap 14K. Any shortage of funds, I am moving from FD to SIP gradually. (SIP started 7 years back - started with 15K and now SIP at 86K) My annual expenses comes to 15 Lakhs including everything. I would like to take retirement at 50 years. Please check my details and suggest for any modifications for better returns. Also, please let me know how I can meet with liquid assets of 20 crores (in addition to my current properties) Thanks!
Ans: You have a strong financial foundation.
Your salary and rental income total Rs. 28.2 lakhs per year.
Your housing loan EMI is Rs. 1.13 lakh per month, which is manageable.
Your investments are well-diversified across mutual funds, FDs, PPF, and PF.
Your SIP portfolio has delivered an excellent IRR of 20%.
You have term insurance for yourself and your wife.
Your annual expenses are Rs. 15 lakhs, which is reasonable.
You have medical insurance of Rs. 5 lakh from your employer.
You gradually move funds from FD to SIP, which is a good strategy.
Your goal is to accumulate Rs. 20 crores in liquid assets within the next 9 years.
Retirement Readiness Assessment
You have 9 years left until your target retirement age of 50.
Your current investments are significant, but reaching Rs. 20 crores requires strategic planning.
Your housing loan is a major commitment, but it will end in 9 years.
Your SIP contributions are already strong and should continue.
Your rental income is a bonus but not reliable for long-term financial security.
Modifications for Better Returns
Increase SIP Gradually
Your SIP of Rs. 86K per month is excellent.
As your salary increases, try to increase SIP by at least 10-15% annually.
Move more funds from FD to SIP, as FD returns are low.
Reallocate Fixed-Income Investments
Your PPF and PF are too conservative.
You can stop fresh PPF contributions and allocate that amount to equity.
Maintain some FD for emergency funds but move excess FD to high-return investments.
Prepay Housing Loan or Invest More?
Your housing loan has an 8.6% interest rate.
Your SIP IRR is 20%, which is higher than your loan rate.
Instead of prepaying, continue investing in equity for wealth creation.
Additional Insurance Coverage
Your company’s medical insurance of Rs. 5 lakh is insufficient.
Consider a separate family floater health insurance of Rs. 15-20 lakh.
Your term insurance coverage is reasonable. No changes are needed.
Achieving Rs. 20 Crores in Liquid Assets
Step 1: Projected Investment Growth
Your SIP portfolio of Rs. 90 lakhs at 20% IRR can grow significantly in 9 years.
If you continue SIPs aggressively, you can accumulate a substantial corpus.
Additional investments from FD and PPF reallocations will further boost growth.
Step 2: Boosting Investment Contributions
As you get salary hikes, increase your monthly SIPs.
Reduce unnecessary expenses to redirect more funds into investments.
Consider lump sum investments when you receive bonuses or windfalls.
Step 3: Maintaining Investment Discipline
Stick to actively managed mutual funds through a Certified Financial Planner.
Stay invested during market fluctuations and avoid emotional decision-making.
Continue tracking and rebalancing your portfolio annually.
Finally
Your financial plan is strong, but small modifications can make a huge difference.
Increasing SIPs, reallocating low-yield investments, and maintaining discipline are key.
You are on track to build Rs. 20 crores in liquid assets if you execute this plan well.
Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,
Chief Financial Planner,
www.holisticinvestment.in
https://www.youtube.com/@HolisticInvestment

..Read more

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Dear Sir, I did my BTech from a normal engineering college not very famous. The teaching was not great and hence i did not study well. I tried my best to learn coding including all the technologies like html,css,javascript,react js,dba,php because i wanted to be a web developer But nothing seem to enter my head except html and css. I don't understand a language which has more complexities. Is it because of my lack of experience or not devoting enough time. I am not sure. I did many courses online and tried to do diplomas also abroad which i passed somehow. I recently joined android development course because i like apps but the teaching was so fast that i could not memorize anything. There was no time to even take notes down. During the course i did assignments and understood the code because i have to pass but after the course is over i tend to forget everything. I attempted a lot of interviews. Some of them i even got but could not perform well so they let me go. Now due to the AI booming and job markets in a bad shape i am re-thinking whether to keep studying or whether its just time waste. Since 3 years i am doing labour type of jobs which does not yield anything to me for survival and to pay my expenses. I have the quest to learn everything but as soon as i sit in front of the computer i listen to music or read something else. What should i do to stay more focused? What should i do to make myself believe confident. Is there still scope of IT in todays world? Kindly advise.
Ans: Your story does not show failure.
It shows persistence, effort, and desire to improve.

Most people give up.
You didn’t.
That means you will succeed — but with the right method, not the old one.

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Ravi Mittal  |676 Answers  |Ask -

Dating, Relationships Expert - Answered on Dec 04, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Dec 02, 2025Hindi
Relationship
My married ex still texts me for comfort. Because of him, I am unable to move on. He makes me feel guilty by saying he got married out of family pressure. His dad is a cardiac patient and mom is being treated for cancer. He comforts me by saying he will get separated soon and we will get married because he only loves me. We have been in a relationship for 14 years and despite everything we tried, his parents refused to accept me, so he chose to get married to someone who understands our situation. I don't know when he will separate from his wife. She knows about us too but she comes from a traditional family. She also confirmed there is no physical intimacy between them. I trust him, but is it worth losing my youth for him? Honestly, I am worried and very confused.
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
I understand how difficult it is to let go of a relationship you have built from scratch, but is it really how you want to continue? It really seems to be going nowhere. His parents are already in bad health and he married someone else for their happiness. Does it seem like he will be able to leave her? So many people’s happiness and lives depend on this one decision. I think it’s about time you and your BF have a clear conversation about the same. If he can’t give a proper timeline, please try to understand his situation. But also make sure he understands yours and maybe rethink this equation. It really isn’t healthy. You deserve a love you can have wholly, and not just in pieces, and in the shadows.

Hope this helps

...Read more

DISCLAIMER: The content of this post by the expert is the personal view of the rediffGURU. Investment in securities market are subject to market risks. Read all the related document carefully before investing. The securities quoted are for illustration only and are not recommendatory. Users are advised to pursue the information provided by the rediffGURU only as a source of information and as a point of reference and to rely on their own judgement when making a decision. RediffGURUS is an intermediary as per India's Information Technology Act.

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