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Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |6995 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on May 22, 2024

Ramalingam Kalirajan has over 23 years of experience in mutual funds and financial planning.
He has an MBA in finance from the University of Madras and is a certified financial planner.
He is the director and chief financial planner at Holistic Investment, a Chennai-based firm that offers financial planning and wealth management advice.... more
Asked by Anonymous - May 22, 2024Hindi
Money

I am getting 9 Lakhs in another sixonths.I am retired and I need steady Monthly Income. Where do I invest without any risk. Also can it be liquidated after a Period of Five Years. Can I have a Nominee for the Investment. Kindly Suggest. It should be absolutely risk free.

Ans: Congratulations on your retirement and the upcoming receipt of ?9 lakhs. Planning for a steady monthly income and ensuring that your investments are risk-free and liquidatable after five years is crucial. You also mentioned the importance of having a nominee for the investment. Let's explore various investment options that align with these goals.

Investment Goals
Key Objectives
Steady Monthly Income: Ensuring a reliable flow of income every month.
Risk-Free: Investments should be safe with minimal risk to the capital.
Liquidity after Five Years: Ability to liquidate the investment after five years without any penalty.
Nominee Facility: Ensure the investment can have a nominee for ease of transfer.
Safe Investment Options
Senior Citizens' Savings Scheme (SCSS)
Overview
The SCSS is a government-backed savings scheme designed specifically for senior citizens, providing regular income and high safety.

Features:

Interest Rate: Competitive interest rates that are higher than regular savings accounts.
Tenure: 5 years, which can be extended by another 3 years.
Liquidity: Can be liquidated after five years without penalties.
Nominee Facility: Allows the nomination of a beneficiary.
Advantages:

Government-Backed Security: Ensures safety and reliability.
Regular Payouts: Quarterly interest payments ensure a steady income.
Suitability
This scheme is ideal for risk-averse investors seeking a secure and regular income stream.

Post Office Monthly Income Scheme (POMIS)
Overview
POMIS is another government-backed scheme that provides a steady monthly income.

Features:

Interest Rate: Fixed interest rate determined by the government.
Tenure: 5 years.
Liquidity: Withdrawable after 5 years without penalties.
Nominee Facility: Allows the nomination of a beneficiary.
Advantages:

Safety: Government-backed ensures principal safety.
Monthly Income: Regular monthly interest payouts provide a steady income.
Suitability
POMIS is suitable for conservative investors looking for safe monthly income options.

Fixed Deposits (FDs) in Banks
Overview
Bank Fixed Deposits are a traditional and safe investment option offering fixed returns over a specified period.

Features:

Interest Rate: Varies by bank but generally offers higher rates for senior citizens.
Tenure: Flexible, but 5-year deposits match your requirement.
Liquidity: Breakable with penalties if withdrawn early, but can be aligned to mature after five years.
Nominee Facility: Nomination is available for ease of transfer.
Advantages:

Safety: Insured up to ?5 lakhs per bank under the Deposit Insurance and Credit Guarantee Corporation (DICGC).
Predictable Returns: Fixed interest rates provide stable income.
Suitability
FDs are suitable for those seeking guaranteed returns and high safety.

Debt Mutual Funds
Overview
Debt Mutual Funds invest in fixed income securities like bonds, treasury bills, and other money market instruments.

Features:

Interest Rate: Market-linked but generally stable.
Tenure: Can be chosen based on the fund’s portfolio, with options aligning with a 5-year period.
Liquidity: Generally liquid, with some funds having a lock-in period.
Nominee Facility: Allows nomination.
Advantages:

Diversification: Spread across various debt instruments reducing risk.
Tax Efficiency: Better tax treatment for long-term capital gains.
Suitability
Suitable for conservative investors looking for moderate returns with low risk.

Public Provident Fund (PPF)
Overview
PPF is a long-term savings scheme with tax benefits, though it has a 15-year lock-in period, partial withdrawals are allowed after 5 years.

Features:

Interest Rate: Announced quarterly by the government, usually higher than regular savings.
Tenure: 15 years, but partial withdrawals allowed after 5 years.
Liquidity: Partial withdrawal available after 5 years.
Nominee Facility: Nomination is available.
Advantages:

Tax Benefits: Under Section 80C of the Income Tax Act.
Safety: Government-backed ensures principal safety.
Suitability
Ideal for long-term, low-risk investments with tax benefits.

Setting Up the Investments
Creating a Balanced Portfolio
Based on the need for safety, liquidity, and steady income, a mix of the following could be optimal:

Senior Citizens' Savings Scheme (SCSS)
Post Office Monthly Income Scheme (POMIS)
Bank Fixed Deposits (FDs)
Allocation Strategy
SCSS and POMIS
Invest a significant portion (e.g., ?4.5 lakhs in SCSS and ?4.5 lakhs in POMIS): These schemes provide regular payouts and are safe, meeting the criteria of steady income and security.
Fixed Deposits
Consider spreading the remaining amount (e.g., ?1 lakh) in bank FDs: Select banks offering the highest interest rates and senior citizen benefits. Ensure deposits mature in 5 years.
Monitoring and Managing Investments
Regular Reviews
Annual Reviews: Ensure that the investments are performing as expected and adjust as needed.
Nominee Registration
Ensure Nominee Registration: Verify and register nominees for each investment to facilitate easy transfer.
Conclusion
Investing in SCSS, POMIS, and bank FDs will provide you with a secure and steady monthly income. These options ensure your capital is safe, can be liquidated after five years, and allow for nominee registration. By carefully allocating your ?9 lakhs, you can enjoy a worry-free retirement with assured income and safety.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in
DISCLAIMER: The content of this post by the expert is the personal view of the rediffGURU. Users are advised to pursue the information provided by the rediffGURU only as a source of information to be as a point of reference and to rely on their own judgement when making a decision.
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Asked by Anonymous - Apr 12, 2024Hindi
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Need to invest about a crore in a scheme that is safe and secure where the capital is safe plus good quarterly returns. I m 62 retired
Ans: As a retired individual seeking a safe and secure investment with good quarterly returns for a significant sum of money, it's essential to prioritize capital preservation while aiming for reasonable returns. Here are some investment options to consider:

Fixed Deposits (FDs): Fixed deposits offered by banks provide a safe and predictable way to earn returns on your investment. While the interest rates may vary, you can opt for FDs with quarterly interest payouts to ensure a steady income stream. Ensure that you choose reputed banks with high credit ratings for added safety.
Senior Citizen Savings Scheme (SCSS): SCSS is a government-backed savings scheme designed specifically for senior citizens. It offers attractive interest rates and quarterly interest payouts, making it suitable for retirees looking for regular income. The scheme has a tenure of 5 years, which can be extended by an additional 3 years.
Post Office Monthly Income Scheme (POMIS): POMIS is a low-risk investment option offered by India Post that provides monthly interest payouts. While the returns may be slightly lower compared to other investment avenues, POMIS offers capital protection and regular income, making it suitable for retirees seeking stability.
Pradhan Mantri Vaya Vandana Yojana (PMVVY): PMVVY is a government-backed pension scheme exclusively for senior citizens. It provides guaranteed returns and offers the option of quarterly, half-yearly, or annual pension payouts. The scheme has a tenure of 10 years and can be an attractive option for retirees looking for a secure income source.
Debt Mutual Funds: Debt mutual funds invest in fixed-income securities such as government bonds, corporate bonds, and money market instruments. While they offer relatively higher returns compared to traditional fixed deposits, it's essential to choose funds with a conservative investment approach and a track record of consistent performance.
Before investing a significant sum of money, consider factors such as liquidity needs, tax implications, and your risk tolerance. It's advisable to diversify your investments across multiple avenues to mitigate risk and ensure a balanced portfolio. Additionally, consult with a Certified Financial Planner (CFP) or financial advisor to tailor an investment strategy that aligns with your financial goals and retirement needs.

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Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on May 15, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Apr 29, 2024Hindi
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I am 31 Years Old...I wanted to invest a lumpsum of 30 Crore rupees saved from my business in past 10 years....I don't want to get into traditional mutual fund,stock options and gold,fd etc...could you please guide me where can I take maximum risk but assured paperwork
Ans: At 31, your ambition to invest a substantial lump sum of ?30 crores reflects your entrepreneurial success and strategic financial planning. While seeking maximum risk exposure with assured paperwork, it's essential to evaluate alternative investment avenues and compare them with traditional options like Mutual Funds (MFs).

Mutual Funds: A Trusted Investment Vehicle
Mutual Funds offer a diverse range of investment options, including equity, debt, and hybrid funds, managed by professional fund managers. Here's why they stand out compared to other alternative investments:

Regulatory Oversight: Mutual Funds are regulated by market regulators such as SEBI, ensuring transparency, investor protection, and adherence to compliance standards. This regulatory framework provides a layer of assurance regarding investment operations and paperwork.

Professional Management: MFs are managed by experienced fund managers who conduct in-depth research and analysis to optimize portfolio performance. Their expertise and active management strategies aim to generate consistent returns and mitigate risks, offering investors peace of mind.

Liquidity and Flexibility: Mutual Funds provide liquidity and flexibility, allowing investors to buy and sell units at Net Asset Value (NAV) on any business day. This feature ensures easy access to funds and facilitates portfolio rebalancing or asset reallocation as per changing investment objectives.

Diversification Benefits: MFs enable investors to diversify their portfolios across various asset classes, sectors, and geographies, reducing concentration risk and enhancing risk-adjusted returns. This diversification potential is particularly valuable for mitigating volatility and maximizing long-term growth potential.

Contrasting Alternative Investment Avenues
While Mutual Funds offer several advantages, alternative investment avenues such as Venture Capital, Private Equity, Real Estate Syndication, and Cryptocurrency exhibit distinct characteristics and considerations:

Risk Profile: Alternative investments often entail higher risk due to their illiquid nature, lack of regulatory oversight, and susceptibility to market volatility and business uncertainties. While they offer potential for high returns, investors must assess their risk appetite and tolerance before venturing into these asset classes.

Documentation and Transparency: Unlike Mutual Funds, alternative investments may lack standardized documentation and regulatory scrutiny, leading to potential ambiguity and legal complexities. Investors must conduct thorough due diligence and seek legal advice to ensure clarity and transparency in paperwork and contractual agreements.

Liquidity Constraints: Alternative investments, such as Real Estate Syndication and Private Equity, typically have longer investment horizons and limited liquidity compared to Mutual Funds. Investors may face challenges in exiting investments prematurely or accessing funds during urgent financial needs.

Conclusion: Optimal Balance of Risk and Assurance
While alternative investments offer opportunities for high-risk, high-reward returns, Mutual Funds stand out as a preferred choice for investors seeking a balance of risk mitigation and paperwork assurance. With their regulatory oversight, professional management, liquidity, and diversification benefits, Mutual Funds provide a reliable and transparent investment avenue for achieving long-term financial goals.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP
Chief Financial Planner
www.holisticinvestment.in

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Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |6995 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Aug 07, 2024

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I am a retired this year without pension provision. I can invest 5 to 10 lakhs for a period of three years. Kindly suggest how to invest.
Ans: Your Situation

You've recently retired without a pension.
You have Rs. 5-10 lakhs to invest.
Your investment horizon is three years.

Investment Goals

As a retiree, your main goals are likely:
Regular income for daily expenses.
Capital protection to maintain your savings.
Some growth to beat inflation.

Low-Risk Options

For capital protection, consider these options:
Fixed Deposits in banks.
Post Office Time Deposits.
Government savings schemes like Senior Citizens Savings Scheme.

Debt Mutual Funds

These can give slightly better returns than FDs.
Consider short-term debt funds or banking & PSU funds.
They have low risk but aren't completely risk-free.

Balanced Mutual Funds

These invest in both stocks and bonds.
They can give better returns than pure debt options.
But they also carry more risk.

Liquid Funds

Good for parking some money for emergencies.
They give slightly better returns than savings accounts.
You can withdraw money quickly when needed.

Senior Citizens Savings Scheme

This government scheme offers good interest rates for seniors.
It provides regular income through quarterly interest payments.
The current interest rate is attractive for retirees.

Pradhan Mantri Vaya Vandana Yojana

Another government scheme for senior citizens.
It provides regular pension for 10 years.
Good option if you want assured regular income.

Tax Considerations

Consider tax-saving options if you still have tax liability.
Tax-saver FDs or ELSS mutual funds can help.
But remember, ELSS funds have a lock-in period.

Diversification

Don't put all your money in one place.
Spread it across 2-3 different investment options.
This helps manage risk better.

Regular Income Plan

If you need regular income, set up a monthly income plan.
You can use Systematic Withdrawal Plan (SWP) in mutual funds.
Or choose investments that pay regular interest.

Finally

Your focus should be on safety and regular income.
Don't take too much risk with your retirement savings.
Consider talking to a Certified Financial Planner for personalized advice.

Best Regards,
K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,
Chief Financial Planner,
www.holisticinvestment.in

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Latest Questions
Ravi

Ravi Mittal  |403 Answers  |Ask -

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Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Nov 08, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Nov 08, 2024Hindi
Money
Iam under debt of Rs 10lac and my salary is 23k per month. How to come out from debt and i need to get debt free. So, please guide me.
Ans: Being in debt can be overwhelming, especially on a limited monthly income. But with disciplined planning and commitment, you can gradually achieve financial freedom. Here’s a detailed guide to help you pay off your Rs 10 lakh debt and build a stable financial foundation.

Step 1: Calculate Your Monthly Expenses and Set a Budget
Start by understanding your cash flow. Track every expense to get a clear picture of your spending.

Essential Expenses: These include rent, food, utilities, and any other basic needs.

Discretionary Expenses: Cut back on non-essentials like dining out, entertainment, and shopping.

Savings and Debt Repayment: Dedicate any amount left after essential expenses towards debt repayment.

Tip: Keep a written budget or use a mobile app to monitor your expenses. Reducing discretionary spending will help increase the amount available for debt repayment.

Step 2: Increase Income if Possible
Boosting income, even slightly, can significantly accelerate debt repayment. Here are some ideas:

Freelance or Part-Time Work: If possible, look for freelance work in areas you’re skilled in, like writing, tutoring, graphic design, or programming.

Overtime or Extra Shifts: If your employer offers overtime, consider taking it on to increase your income.

Sell Unwanted Items: Sell items you no longer need, such as electronics, clothes, or furniture, to generate additional cash.

Increasing your income, even temporarily, can help you pay off your debt faster.

Step 3: Create a Debt Repayment Plan
List all your debts, including outstanding amounts, interest rates, and due dates. Here are two strategies for paying them off:

Snowball Method: Pay off smaller debts first to gain momentum, then tackle larger ones. This provides psychological motivation by clearing debts faster.

Avalanche Method: Focus on debts with the highest interest rates first. This method saves more on interest in the long term.

Choose the strategy that suits you best and start making extra payments each month.

Step 4: Prioritize High-Interest Loans and EMI Payments
Debt with higher interest can escalate quickly, so prioritize clearing them first. Some common examples include:

Credit Card Debt: If part of your debt is on credit cards, try to pay it down as quickly as possible. Credit card interest rates are often the highest.

Personal Loans: If your Rs 10 lakh debt includes high-interest loans, prioritize these over lower-interest obligations.

Contact your creditors to explore if they can reduce your interest rate temporarily. Any reduction helps ease the debt burden.

Step 5: Consider Debt Consolidation Options
Debt consolidation combines multiple loans into a single, lower-interest loan, making it easier to manage. Options include:

Personal Loans: Look for a lower-interest personal loan to pay off existing debts. This can reduce the overall interest burden.

Balance Transfer: If a major portion of your debt is on a credit card, look for a card offering a low or zero-interest balance transfer option.

Be cautious of fees associated with consolidation options and make sure to do thorough research. Consolidation can simplify payments and potentially save you money on interest.

Step 6: Start a Small Emergency Fund
While repaying debt is crucial, having a small emergency fund (around Rs 5,000–Rs 10,000) can help you avoid additional debt. This fund is for unexpected expenses like medical emergencies or car repairs.

Building a small emergency cushion ensures you don’t rely on credit if unplanned expenses arise. Once your debt is cleared, you can gradually build a larger emergency fund.

Step 7: Avoid Taking on New Debt
Avoid credit cards, loans, or any new debt until you’ve repaid the current amount. New debt will delay your goal of becoming debt-free.

Instead of borrowing, prioritize saving for any purchases. Practicing patience with spending decisions will help prevent additional debt.

Step 8: Automate and Regularize Payments
Set up automated payments for your debt EMIs and monthly bills. Automation helps prevent missed payments, which can incur penalties and hurt your credit score.

If automated payments aren’t possible, set reminders to ensure timely payments.

Step 9: Track Progress and Stay Motivated
Track your progress each month and celebrate small wins, such as reaching specific milestones in debt reduction.

Seeing your debt balance decrease, even gradually, can keep you motivated.

Step 10: Seek Professional Guidance If Needed
If you feel overwhelmed, consider seeking guidance from a Certified Financial Planner (CFP). They can help you devise a structured plan tailored to your specific financial situation.

A CFP can also provide personalized advice on managing and reducing debt efficiently.

Finally
Your determination to achieve a debt-free life is commendable. By following these steps and staying disciplined, you’ll gradually pay off your debt and move toward financial freedom. Remember, small steps today will lead to a financially secure tomorrow.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in
https://www.youtube.com/@HolisticInvestment

...Read more

Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |6995 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Nov 08, 2024

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Dear sir/Ma'am, I want to invest long term mutual fund for my daughter marriage. She is now 15 years old and i want to invest for 10 years, please advised me which mutual fund best for me. My monthly investment amount is Rs. 5000.00/- please reply soon as soon possible.
Ans: Investing for your daughter's marriage is a thoughtful goal. With 10 years to grow your investment, mutual funds offer a practical approach to help achieve this objective. A disciplined investment of Rs 5000 per month can build a substantial corpus over time. Here’s a comprehensive guide to structuring this investment for long-term success.

Choosing the Right Type of Mutual Funds
For a 10-year horizon, equity mutual funds are suitable. They have the potential for higher returns over time. Considering a diversified mix of equity categories could balance growth with stability.

Equity-Oriented Funds: With their higher growth potential, equity funds can be ideal for long-term goals like marriage. Large-cap funds or diversified equity funds with a mix of large- and mid-cap investments can provide relative stability.

Balanced or Hybrid Funds: These funds allocate a portion to both equity and debt. This approach reduces risk while still capturing growth. Hybrid funds could be a good option to add stability.

Avoid Index Funds: While index funds are popular, they lack flexibility in managing market changes. Actively managed funds, however, allow fund managers to navigate market fluctuations, potentially offering higher returns.

Benefits of Regular Funds vs. Direct Funds
When considering direct funds, you miss out on expert guidance, which is vital for long-term investments. Regular funds through a Certified Financial Planner (CFP) ensure you get continuous support, fund reviews, and performance tracking. They help rebalance your portfolio when required, maximizing your returns and managing risks effectively.

SIP (Systematic Investment Plan) for Steady Growth
Setting up a monthly SIP of Rs 5000 is a practical approach. SIPs allow you to invest consistently, regardless of market highs and lows, which averages out costs over time. This approach, known as “rupee cost averaging,” helps reduce the impact of volatility.

Tax Implications on Mutual Fund Investments
Understanding tax rules on mutual funds is important.

Equity Mutual Funds: Gains above Rs 1.25 lakh attract a 12.5% tax on Long-Term Capital Gains (LTCG). Short-Term Capital Gains (STCG) are taxed at 20%.

Debt Mutual Funds: Both STCG and LTCG are taxed based on your income tax slab.

These tax rates are subject to change, so it’s crucial to monitor tax policies periodically. You may consult a tax advisor for updates and efficient tax planning.

Key Investment Tips to Reach Your Goal
Consistency: Stay disciplined with your SIPs to leverage compounding. Missing contributions can reduce the growth potential.

Regular Monitoring: Review fund performance at least once a year. This ensures the selected funds are meeting your expectations and objectives.

Professional Guidance: Consult a CFP periodically to align your investments with your financial plan. They can advise on any required adjustments to optimize your portfolio.

Adjusting for Inflation and Goal Cost
Over time, inflation will impact the cost of your daughter’s marriage. Your CFP can help you estimate the future value and adjust your SIP amount if needed. Gradually increasing the SIP amount can help you meet the target despite inflation.

Final Insights
Your commitment to this goal is commendable. By selecting the right mix of funds, maintaining discipline with SIPs, and staying informed on tax and fund performance, you’ll be well on your way to achieving the desired corpus for your daughter’s marriage.

Invest with confidence, plan regularly, and stay on track toward building a secure financial future for your family.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in
https://www.youtube.com/@HolisticInvestment

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Radheshyam

Radheshyam Zanwar  |1033 Answers  |Ask -

MHT-CET, IIT-JEE, NEET-UG Expert - Answered on Nov 08, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Nov 08, 2024Hindi
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Career
Hello! I am looking to change my career. Currently, I work as a DTP Operator and Graphic Designer in my maternal uncle's offsset printing press business. My father passed away 8 years ago, so my maternal uncle has taken on the responsibility of me, my mother, and my brother. I have been working under them for the past 5 years as a favor of them. However, there has been no financial growth or development in my current position. But maternal uncle asks me to continue to work with them as their childrens are out of their Offset Printing profession. So they expect me to handle the business in future. But this will not happen. Also I'm not sure of the future scope of Offset Printing Press profession due to digitization. Though my mind is telling me to change profession, as of my financial condtion is weak I would have to start again from zero. I am feeling unsure about what to do?
Ans: Hello.
Presently you are working as a DTP operator and Graphic Designer with your uncle. It seems that due to financial problems, your uncle might be taking undue advantage of your situation and taking it granted that you must work for him and his printing press as a bull for 24x7. You said, your uncle's children are not interested in running the printing press. Hence he is expecting to handle the business in the future. I think this is a golden time to negotiate with your uncle from a business point of view and put some terms and conditions in front of him. You must overtake the printing press fully in your control and share some part of the profit with him. Remember, you are young, have solid experience of 5 years and the most important thing is that, your uncle is not dependent on you only. This makes the situation in your favor. If your uncle is not ready to hand over the printing press business to you, then you have an option to search for another job and tell your uncle also in this regard. I can fairly say, your uncle will not think to lose you under any condition. In life, nothing is impossible, With the hands-on experience of 5 years, you may job in an advertising company and a reputed publishing house. Related to your insecurity feeling, even though you are working with your uncle, you are feeling insecure. Hence either force your uncle to accept your terms and conditions or leave him without any hesitation. Try with new people, new organizations, and new opportunities. A little change will make a big change in your life.
Best of luck for your bright future.

If satisfied, please like and follow me.
If dissatisfied with the reply, please ask again without hesitation.
Thanks.

Radheshyam

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Ravi

Ravi Mittal  |403 Answers  |Ask -

Dating, Relationships Expert - Answered on Nov 08, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Nov 07, 2024
Relationship
I (27M) am well Educated & well settled in a High-paying Job. Tall, Handsome & Fit. I am a Sociable & Outgoing person, but I never had a Girlfriend because I believe in having an Arranged Marriage with a Girl from the same Community, who's Family background is known to Parents. I strongly believe in abstaining from any kind of Sexual Intimacy until I get Married, due to my Personal, Moral, Ethical, Emotional as well as Religious & Socio-cultural Values. I'd want to experience even my First Kiss, only after getting Married to my Life Partner. And obviously, I expect my Future Life Partner also to Share similar Values. I cannot settle for Marriage with a Girl who had Pre-marital Sex (or even Kissed) anyone else in a Romantic Relationship, prior to Marriage. I would Reject such a Girl, however Beautiful, Well-Educated & Well-Earning she might be (all other Qualities being Subjective). Now, my Family has started looking up suitable Brides for me, within my Community. The Problem is that most Girls of our Community, in this Generation, are Well Educated & Financially Independent, staying in Cities, away from Parents & most of them, probably had Romantic Relationship(s) & experienced Physical Intimacy, at any Base Level. I know this by closely observing & discussing with many Girls of my Community (including my Female Cousins, Female Friends & Neighbours etc). They all are ridiculing me for my Preferences & advising me to forsake my Values, as they are Outdated in this Age. Now, I am Worried that I might never get to Marry a Girl who shares my Values. My greatest Fear is not ending up Unmarried, but getting Married to a Woman who lies about her Past (I consider it as Cheating). Can you please advise me on, how can I be absolutely Sure that a Girl is an Un-Kissed Virgin? How do I bring up this topic with any Girl before Marriage & ask her, without coming off as Creepy? How can I be Sure whether the Girl is being absolutely Honest about her Past or not? What are some other ways to find out about the Past of a Girl, apart from having an open conversation with herself? Please advise me regarding this, my Heart is not letting me foresake my Values, which are my Core Principles. I am willing to compromise on some other Qualities i.e., I'd happily settle down with a Girl who's Below Average in terms of Looks, Education & even Unemployed, as long as I can be Sure that she's an Un-Kissed Virgin. How can I be absolutely Sure of that?
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
You don't have to forsake your values based on others' opinions of it. If it makes you happy, you should stick to it. Having said that, you cannot force the same values on others. I understand you want a partner who has a similar mindset. The only way to get what you want is an open conversation- when you speak to a match, you can open up about your outlook and clear it from your end that you want the exact same values in your partner and politely request them to reject the alliance if she has any past relationships or has been intimate with anyone in any form. Let her know that you are not judging her, but this part is very important for you. Make it about yourself, because it is. Do not let the woman feel that there is some flaw in her, or start investigating her past.

Now, coming to your other query, how to be absolutely sure that she is telling the truth about her experiences- there is no such technique. You have to trust her. Moreover, you should understand that as much as you believe your values are important, trust in your partner is equally important in having a healthy and happy relationship. While you work on finding the partner of your choice, work on having a little more faith in people.
Hope this helps.

Best Wishes

...Read more

DISCLAIMER: The content of this post by the expert is the personal view of the rediffGURU. Investment in securities market are subject to market risks. Read all the related document carefully before investing. The securities quoted are for illustration only and are not recommendatory. Users are advised to pursue the information provided by the rediffGURU only as a source of information and as a point of reference and to rely on their own judgement when making a decision. RediffGURUS is an intermediary as per India's Information Technology Act.

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