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Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |10870 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Apr 20, 2024

Ramalingam Kalirajan has over 23 years of experience in mutual funds and financial planning.
He has an MBA in finance from the University of Madras and is a certified financial planner.
He is the director and chief financial planner at Holistic Investment, a Chennai-based firm that offers financial planning and wealth management advice.... more
ranvir Question by ranvir on Aug 31, 2023Hindi
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hi sir : my son doing job since two year monthly earning is 60 K. but his saving is nil. pl. advice where to invest

Ans: It's great that your son has started earning, and it's essential to guide him on saving and investing for the future. Here's a step-by-step investment plan tailored for him:

Emergency Fund: Start by building an emergency fund equivalent to 3-6 months of expenses. This fund should be easily accessible, like a savings account or a liquid fund.
Debt Repayment: If he has any high-interest debts like credit card bills or personal loans, it's wise to clear those first to avoid paying hefty interest.
Investment Options:
Equity Mutual Funds: For long-term wealth creation, he can start SIPs in diversified equity funds. A mix of large-cap, mid-cap, and multi-cap funds can provide growth.
PPF (Public Provident Fund): A tax-efficient and safe option for long-term savings with a lock-in period of 15 years.
NPS (National Pension System): A retirement-focused investment with tax benefits, offering a mix of equity, corporate bonds, and government securities.
Term Insurance: Since he's working, consider getting a term insurance plan to ensure financial security for his dependents.
Health Insurance: A comprehensive health insurance plan to cover medical emergencies can provide financial security and tax benefits.
Budgeting and Savings: Encourage him to create a monthly budget to track expenses and identify areas to save. Automating investments through SIPs can also help in disciplined saving.
Financial Education: Educate him about the importance of financial planning, saving, and investing. Encourage him to read books or attend workshops on personal finance.
Starting early with disciplined saving and investing can help him build a substantial corpus over time. Encourage him to consult a financial advisor for personalized guidance tailored to his financial goals and risk tolerance.
DISCLAIMER: The content of this post by the expert is the personal view of the rediffGURU. Users are advised to pursue the information provided by the rediffGURU only as a source of information to be as a point of reference and to rely on their own judgement when making a decision.
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Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |10870 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on May 24, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - May 20, 2024Hindi
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My son is of 23 years old having bank balance of 13 lakh which he generated from you tube What will be best investment for him for future
Ans: Firstly, congratulations to your son for building a bank balance of ?13 lakhs from his YouTube channel at such a young age. This achievement shows his dedication, creativity, and hard work. Now, it's essential to invest this money wisely to secure his financial future. Let's explore the best investment strategies for him.

Understanding His Financial Goals
At 23 years old, your son likely has different financial goals compared to someone older. His goals might include:

Building an emergency fund
Saving for higher education or career development
Long-term wealth accumulation
Future big purchases like a car or travel
Planning for retirement
Understanding these goals will help in creating a tailored investment strategy.

Building an Emergency Fund
An emergency fund is crucial for financial security. It provides a safety net for unexpected expenses or income disruptions. Your son should set aside at least 6 months' worth of living expenses in a safe, easily accessible account, like a high-interest savings account or liquid mutual fund.

Investing in Mutual Funds
Benefits of Actively Managed Funds
Actively managed mutual funds are managed by professional fund managers who aim to outperform the market. They research and select securities to achieve better returns. While they have higher fees than index funds, the potential for superior performance can justify the cost.

Diversification Through Hybrid Funds
Hybrid funds offer a mix of equity and debt investments. They provide the growth potential of equities and the stability of debt instruments. This balance can be ideal for a young investor looking to grow wealth with moderate risk.

Equity Mutual Funds for Growth
Equity mutual funds invest in stocks and are suitable for long-term growth. Given your son's young age, he can afford to take higher risks for potentially higher returns. Large-cap funds, multi-cap funds, and sectoral funds can be considered for a diversified equity exposure.

Disadvantages of Index Funds
Index funds merely replicate a market index and don't aim to outperform it. They can be too passive for a young, ambitious investor seeking high returns. Actively managed funds, on the other hand, adapt to market conditions and seek opportunities for higher gains.

Avoiding Direct Funds
Direct funds have lower expense ratios but require self-management. Without professional guidance, your son might miss critical market insights and strategic adjustments. Investing through a Certified Financial Planner (CFP) ensures professional management, regular reviews, and strategic planning.

Considering Systematic Investment Plans (SIPs)
SIPs allow investing a fixed amount regularly in mutual funds. This approach can be beneficial as it:

Promotes disciplined investing
Reduces the impact of market volatility
Helps in rupee cost averaging
Starting SIPs in a mix of equity and hybrid funds can be an effective way for your son to grow his wealth steadily.

Long-Term Wealth Accumulation
Compounding Benefits
Investing early leverages the power of compounding. The longer the investment period, the greater the compounding effect. Starting now, your son's investments can grow significantly by the time he reaches major financial milestones.

Diversifying Investments
Diversification reduces risk by spreading investments across various asset classes. Besides mutual funds, consider a small allocation in gold funds or international funds for further diversification. These can hedge against market volatility and currency risks.

Education and Career Development Fund
Your son might consider pursuing higher education or professional certifications to advance his career. Setting aside a portion of his investments in a dedicated education fund can ensure he has the resources when needed.

Future Big Purchases
If your son plans big purchases like a car or travel, short-term debt funds or fixed deposits can be suitable. They offer safety and liquidity while providing better returns than a regular savings account.

Retirement Planning
It might seem early, but starting retirement planning now can yield tremendous benefits. Investing in equity mutual funds through SIPs can build a substantial corpus over time. This early start will ensure financial independence in his later years.

Conclusion
Your son's financial journey has started strong with his earnings from YouTube. By investing wisely in mutual funds, building an emergency fund, and diversifying his portfolio, he can secure a prosperous future. Regular investments through SIPs, professional guidance from a CFP, and a focus on long-term goals will help him achieve financial success.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in

..Read more

Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |10870 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Jan 30, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Jan 30, 2025Hindi
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Hi Sir, I am 39 years old earning 25k monthly and i don't have any savings i am staying with my wife and son and my monthly expenses are 16k including houserent having 12 lakh mediclaim and 50lakh term plan i want to save money to my son education and for future kindly suggest any investment plan.
Ans: Your monthly income is Rs. 25,000, which gives you Rs. 3 lakhs per year.

Your monthly expenses are Rs. 16,000, leaving a monthly surplus of Rs. 9,000.

You have no savings or investments at present.

You live with your wife and son in a rented house.

You have a term insurance cover of Rs. 50 lakhs.

You have a mediclaim policy of Rs. 12 lakhs.

You want to save for your son’s education and your future.

Key Challenges to Address
Limited savings despite a positive cash flow.

No investments currently, which delays wealth creation.

Need to balance short-term and long-term financial goals.

Dependence on a single income source.

Inflation will reduce the value of future savings.

No retirement corpus built yet.

Strengthening Your Financial Foundation
Start by setting aside at least Rs. 50,000 as an emergency fund.

Keep this in a high-liquidity investment like a savings account or liquid fund.

Avoid taking unnecessary loans or debt to manage cash flow.

Continue paying your rent on time, but try to negotiate for lower rent if possible.

Avoid spending on non-essential items to increase savings.

Enhancing Your Insurance Coverage
Your term insurance of Rs. 50 lakhs is good.

Consider increasing coverage as your financial responsibilities grow.

Your Rs. 12 lakh mediclaim is sufficient for now.

Ensure it covers your family members adequately.

Keep reviewing your policy benefits periodically.

Investing for Your Son’s Education
Estimate the future cost of your son's education based on inflation.

Invest a fixed amount every month towards this goal.

Choose actively managed mutual funds through a Certified Financial Planner.

Invest in a combination of large-cap, mid-cap, and flexi-cap funds.

Avoid index funds as they offer average returns and lack active management.

Increase SIP contributions as your income grows.

Saving for Your Future Needs
Start investing for long-term financial independence.

Allocate funds to equity-based investments for wealth creation.

SIP in actively managed mutual funds is the best option.

Increase investments whenever you get salary hikes or bonuses.

Keep your money growing instead of leaving it idle in a savings account.

Avoid investment-cum-insurance policies as they offer poor returns.

Managing Risks and Unexpected Situations
Keep your emergency fund accessible at all times.

Avoid withdrawing from long-term investments for short-term needs.

Always have a backup income plan in case of job loss.

Upskill and improve your career prospects to increase income.

Ensure your spouse is financially aware of your investments.

Planning for Retirement Early
You should start planning for retirement now.

The sooner you invest, the less you need to save later.

Invest aggressively in equity-based mutual funds initially.

As you approach retirement, shift some funds to debt instruments.

Keep reinvesting returns to generate compounding growth.

Tax Planning for Maximum Savings
Invest in tax-saving instruments under Section 80C.

Choose ELSS funds for better returns and tax benefits.

Take advantage of home rent deduction under Section 10(13A) if applicable.

Use deductions for medical insurance under Section 80D.

File taxes on time to avoid penalties and unnecessary stress.

Finally
Your financial situation has potential for growth.

Start saving and investing immediately.

Plan for both short-term and long-term needs.

Stay disciplined and review investments regularly.

Seek advice from a Certified Financial Planner for personalised strategies.

Secure your family's future by making smart financial decisions today.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in

https://www.youtube.com/@HolisticInvestment

..Read more

Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |10870 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Jul 10, 2025

Money
I have boy kid 5years old, i want to invest in savings for his career my investment would be around 2 lakhs kindly suggest wer to invest
Ans: ?Understanding the Need for Child’s Future Planning
– You are thinking ahead for your child’s future. That is wise and timely.
– At 5 years old, your child has around 12–15 years until higher education.
– Career and education costs are rising fast. Early planning can ease that burden.
– Investing Rs. 2 lakhs now with the right strategy can create strong support.
– A Certified Financial Planner always recommends disciplined, goal-based investing for such needs.

?Clarifying Your Goal and Time Horizon
– The purpose is to fund your child’s education and career.
– The time frame is long-term. So you can consider equity-oriented options.
– You need safety, growth, and liquidity at different stages.
– The key is to plan for a staggered withdrawal around age 18 to 22.
– Having a clear view of when and how the funds will be used helps.

?Importance of Investment Allocation and Structure
– A lump sum of Rs. 2 lakhs is a good start, but not enough for the full goal.
– Combine this lump sum with regular SIPs later as income allows.
– Split the Rs. 2 lakhs into diversified instruments instead of one place.
– You can mix growth-focused and safety-focused options.
– This combination balances risk and return over time.

?Mutual Funds for Long-Term Education Goals
– Mutual funds are ideal for long-term wealth creation.
– Choose actively managed funds, not index funds.
– Index funds follow the market and lack strategy or downside protection.
– Active funds have fund managers who aim to beat the market returns.
– For your case, equity mutual funds with multicap or flexicap exposure are best.
– Over 10–15 years, they help create inflation-beating growth.
– Always invest through a Certified Financial Planner or Mutual Fund Distributor.
– Avoid direct plans unless you are an expert in fund selection.

?Why Not Direct Plans
– Direct plans have lower expense ratios but no guidance or tracking.
– You risk making poor fund choices without help.
– Regular plans through a CFP-backed MFD come with monitoring and handholding.
– That is vital for long-term discipline and goal corrections.
– Costs saved in direct plans may lead to bigger losses if mistakes happen.

?Fixed Income Component for Stability
– Keep some portion in fixed return instruments for safety.
– You may allocate 25% of the amount to fixed options.
– This gives stability and a fallback if markets perform poorly.
– Post office options or high-quality debt funds can be explored.
– For example, 5-year small savings plans offer decent and safe returns.

?Children-Specific Savings Instruments
– Some government-backed child savings schemes offer tax benefits and fixed returns.
– These are ideal for the secure part of your investment.
– Lock-in and maturity coincide with education years.
– But don’t put entire money here, as returns may not beat inflation.
– Use such options to complement equity funds, not replace them.

?Insurance is Not Investment
– Avoid any child insurance plans or endowment policies.
– These give low returns and mix insurance with investment.
– For long-term needs, they are inefficient and restrictive.
– Pure term insurance for parents is important, not investment-linked ones.
– If you hold any such LIC or ULIP plans, surrender and reinvest in mutual funds.

?Gold and Sovereign Gold Bonds – Good but Not Core
– Gold can be a good diversification tool, but not core education planning tool.
– It is best to keep gold investments limited to 10–15% of your overall wealth.
– They can help during emergencies or if gold prices rise sharply.
– But gold does not produce income or consistent returns.

?Avoid Real Estate for Child’s Future
– Real estate lacks liquidity and has unpredictable exit timelines.
– Not suitable for specific-time goals like education.
– Also, property sale near a child’s 18th birthday may be hard.
– Avoid tying up funds in property purchases for this goal.

?Don’t Depend on Index Funds or ETFs
– Index funds are unmanaged and mirror the index, with no downside protection.
– In volatile markets, index funds can lose value without intervention.
– Active funds adapt to changing market conditions and sectors.
– Your goal is critical. Don’t risk it with passive strategies.
– ETF and index strategies are best suited for market experts, not long-term goals.

?Tax Efficiency in Mutual Funds
– Long-term gains over Rs. 1.25 lakhs are taxed at 12.5% under new rules.
– Short-term capital gains are taxed at 20%.
– For debt mutual funds, all gains are taxed as per your tax slab.
– Investing via SIPs over time helps in averaging cost and improving tax outcomes.
– Use tax planning as part of overall goal planning.

?Rebalancing and Annual Review
– Once invested, review your plan annually with a Certified Financial Planner.
– Rebalance if one category outperforms or underperforms.
– As your child grows, shift some equity to safer funds.
– Around 3–5 years before use, reduce risk gradually.
– This protects gains and gives better predictability.

?Adding SIPs to Strengthen the Plan
– The Rs. 2 lakhs lump sum alone won’t cover the full cost.
– Add a small monthly SIP alongside. Even Rs. 2000 to Rs. 5000 helps.
– Step up SIPs as income improves.
– Combine lump sum and SIPs for the strongest outcome.
– Automatic investments build habit and reduce emotional decisions.

?Building a Child-Centric Portfolio
– Your investment mix should grow with your child.
– Include growth instruments when child is young.
– Add safety layers as the goal nears.
– Use proper tracking and documentation.
– Assign a nominee and keep spouse informed of the plan.

?Emergency Fund and Term Insurance
– Always maintain a separate emergency fund for family needs.
– This avoids breaking investments meant for child.
– Ensure you have adequate term insurance coverage for yourself.
– This ensures child’s future is safe even in your absence.

?Avoid Locking All in Illiquid Assets
– Liquidity is key when education payments are due.
– Avoid putting entire money in instruments with long lock-ins.
– Balance liquidity and growth carefully.
– Having flexible exit options helps during uncertain times.

?Education Loans Should Be Last Resort
– If you plan early, you can avoid education loans later.
– Loans come with interest burden and stress.
– Early investments help build a self-funded education corpus.
– This gives more choice and confidence to the child.

?Keep Documentation and Goal Tracking Clear
– Maintain a file or digital record of all investments for this goal.
– Use a separate folio or account where possible.
– Tag all investments with your child’s name or purpose.
– This builds discipline and clarity.

?Work with a Certified Financial Planner
– For such goals, expert advice matters.
– A CFP helps with product selection, rebalancing, and tracking.
– They also guide you on tax and exit planning.
– Their expertise adds value beyond fund returns.
– Choose an advisor who works with long-term focus.

?Finally
– Investing Rs. 2 lakhs for your son’s future is a great start.
– Use it wisely across equity funds and fixed income options.
– Avoid insurance-linked products and direct mutual funds.
– Keep reviewing and adding to the plan each year.
– A Certified Financial Planner can ensure this goal is met confidently.
– Your discipline and long-term approach will shape your child’s future well.

Best Regards,
K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,
Chief Financial Planner,
www.holisticinvestment.in
https://www.youtube.com/@HolisticInvestment

..Read more

Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |10870 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Sep 06, 2025

Money
Hello sir, My son's take home salary is 1.8 lakh monthly and 26 yrs old. Recently he started 2 sips of 25k and 15k respectively. His monthly expenses is around 40k. He is also planning to invest 2L in FD for emergency fund. He can invest around 70k per month. Please suggest a good investment strategy so that in next 5 years his corpus grows into 1 cr.
Ans: You have created a very good foundation for your son. At 26 years, he is already earning a healthy salary. He is also disciplined with his investments. This is an excellent start. Many people take years to start. He has started at the right time. With right strategy, his goal of Rs 1 crore in 5 years is possible. Let me share a 360-degree approach for his investments.

» present financial picture

– Monthly income is Rs 1.8 lakh.
– Monthly SIPs already at Rs 40,000.
– Monthly expenses at Rs 40,000.
– He plans emergency fund of Rs 2 lakh in FD.
– Additional Rs 70,000 is available for investment.

This shows strong surplus. His savings ratio is very high. At this age, it is a big advantage.

» emergency fund and liquidity

Emergency fund is important. Rs 2 lakh FD is a good beginning. But emergency fund should be at least 6 months of expenses. That means close to Rs 2.5 to 3 lakh. He can keep some in FD and some in liquid mutual funds. This ensures liquidity and better returns than just FD.

Emergency money must stay safe. Do not touch for other goals. This gives peace of mind.

» risk profile and time horizon

He is young and has 5 years horizon for the Rs 1 crore target. With age on his side, he can take higher exposure to equity. But we should balance risk. Goal is short term in equity terms. So we must not go 100% equity. A mix of equity and debt is safer.

For wealth creation in 5 years, equity mutual funds can work. But we must combine with debt funds for stability.

» existing sips assessment

Currently he invests Rs 25,000 and Rs 15,000. Together Rs 40,000. This is good start. If these are in equity mutual funds, then they are well placed. But he must review if these are actively managed funds.

Index funds look attractive for low cost. But they have clear disadvantages. Index funds simply follow market. They cannot outperform. They also carry market risks fully. Actively managed funds are better. They are run by experienced managers. They can select best stocks and sectors. They also reduce risk by active allocation. So continuing with good active funds is wiser.

» investment allocation for new surplus

He can invest extra Rs 70,000 per month. The allocation should be balanced:
– Around Rs 50,000 in diversified equity mutual funds.
– Around Rs 20,000 in debt mutual funds or short-term funds.

This balance reduces volatility. It also ensures steady growth.

» why avoid direct funds

Direct plans look attractive with lower expense ratio. But direct investing has hidden challenges. Without guidance, investors choose wrongly. Regular plan through a Certified Financial Planner gives professional monitoring. It ensures portfolio rebalancing at right time. It avoids costly mistakes. The extra expense is like insurance for portfolio. The long-term benefits are far higher.

» taxation perspective

For equity funds, new rules apply. If held over 1 year, gains are long-term. Above Rs 1.25 lakh, LTCG is taxed at 12.5%. Short-term gains are taxed at 20%. For debt funds, both STCG and LTCG are taxed at income slab. So he should hold equity funds for at least 1 year. This will reduce tax burden. He should also plan redemptions smartly to keep tax low.

» goal planning for Rs 1 crore

He wants Rs 1 crore in 5 years. With Rs 40,000 SIP and Rs 70,000 extra SIP, total becomes Rs 1.1 lakh monthly. With disciplined equity exposure, reaching Rs 1 crore is realistic. Returns from active funds can compound. But he should not expect straight line growth. There will be volatility. Staying invested is key.

» diversification strategy

He should spread across:
– Large-cap equity funds for stability.
– Mid-cap equity funds for higher growth.
– Hybrid funds for balance.
– Debt funds for safety.

This avoids concentration risk. It ensures smoother growth.

» review and monitoring

Portfolio must be reviewed once a year. Not more frequent, not less. Review should check:
– Fund performance compared to peers.
– Allocation balance as per goal.
– Any need for rebalancing.

If a fund underperforms consistently, it should be replaced. Otherwise, stay patient. Switching too often destroys returns.

» insurance protection

Before wealth creation, protection is must. He should take term insurance. At his age, premium will be low. Cover should be at least 15 times annual income. Also health insurance is compulsory. Even if employer provides, buy one personal cover. Emergency fund, term cover, health cover form a shield. Only after that, investments grow safely.

» behaviour discipline

Most investors fail not due to markets, but due to behaviour. He should stay calm during market falls. He should avoid stopping SIPs. He should avoid withdrawing early. He should not chase latest hot fund. He should trust the process. Patience is the biggest wealth builder.

» retirement and long-term vision

Though current goal is Rs 1 crore in 5 years, he must also plan long-term. Retirement will need a much larger corpus. Starting early gives huge advantage. Even after reaching Rs 1 crore, he must continue SIPs. Wealth creation is not one-time. It is a lifelong journey.

» tax saving investments

He can use tax saving mutual funds under 80C. These give equity exposure with tax benefit. But he must not overinvest only for tax. Tax saving is secondary. Wealth creation is primary.

» lifestyle management

His expenses are Rs 40,000 now. They will grow with lifestyle. But he should avoid lifestyle inflation eating into savings. Saving rate should always stay above 40%. This habit will ensure financial freedom early.

» asset allocation principle

Asset allocation is the engine of growth. Equity gives power. Debt gives balance. A young investor can keep higher equity. But since goal is only 5 years, some debt is needed. 70:30 ratio works well. Closer to goal, reduce equity. Increase debt. This protects the corpus.

» importance of goal-based investing

Every investment should be tied to a goal. Here, goal is Rs 1 crore in 5 years. But he may also have goals like car, house, marriage, retirement. For each, create separate portfolio. This avoids confusion. It also ensures right allocation.

» mistakes to avoid

– Do not stop SIPs midway.
– Do not chase quick returns.
– Do not depend only on FD.
– Do not take tips from friends.
– Do not mix insurance with investment.

Avoiding these mistakes is half the success.

» finally

Your son has strong base. At 26, he is already ahead. With Rs 1.1 lakh monthly SIP, disciplined investing and balance, his Rs 1 crore target in 5 years is achievable. He must stay patient, review yearly, and trust the process. He must continue beyond 5 years for bigger wealth. His early start is his biggest gift. This will give him financial freedom sooner than most people.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in

https://www.youtube.com/@HolisticInvestment

..Read more

Latest Questions
Dr Dipankar

Dr Dipankar Dutta  |1837 Answers  |Ask -

Tech Careers and Skill Development Expert - Answered on Dec 05, 2025

Career
Dear Sir, I did my BTech from a normal engineering college not very famous. The teaching was not great and hence i did not study well. I tried my best to learn coding including all the technologies like html,css,javascript,react js,dba,php because i wanted to be a web developer But nothing seem to enter my head except html and css. I don't understand a language which has more complexities. Is it because of my lack of experience or not devoting enough time. I am not sure. I did many courses online and tried to do diplomas also abroad which i passed somehow. I recently joined android development course because i like apps but the teaching was so fast that i could not memorize anything. There was no time to even take notes down. During the course i did assignments and understood the code because i have to pass but after the course is over i tend to forget everything. I attempted a lot of interviews. Some of them i even got but could not perform well so they let me go. Now due to the AI booming and job markets in a bad shape i am re-thinking whether to keep studying or whether its just time waste. Since 3 years i am doing labour type of jobs which does not yield anything to me for survival and to pay my expenses. I have the quest to learn everything but as soon as i sit in front of the computer i listen to music or read something else. What should i do to stay more focused? What should i do to make myself believe confident. Is there still scope of IT in todays world? Kindly advise.
Ans: Your story does not show failure.
It shows persistence, effort, and desire to improve.

Most people give up.
You didn’t.
That means you will succeed — but with the right method, not the old one.

...Read more

Ravi

Ravi Mittal  |676 Answers  |Ask -

Dating, Relationships Expert - Answered on Dec 04, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Dec 02, 2025Hindi
Relationship
My married ex still texts me for comfort. Because of him, I am unable to move on. He makes me feel guilty by saying he got married out of family pressure. His dad is a cardiac patient and mom is being treated for cancer. He comforts me by saying he will get separated soon and we will get married because he only loves me. We have been in a relationship for 14 years and despite everything we tried, his parents refused to accept me, so he chose to get married to someone who understands our situation. I don't know when he will separate from his wife. She knows about us too but she comes from a traditional family. She also confirmed there is no physical intimacy between them. I trust him, but is it worth losing my youth for him? Honestly, I am worried and very confused.
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
I understand how difficult it is to let go of a relationship you have built from scratch, but is it really how you want to continue? It really seems to be going nowhere. His parents are already in bad health and he married someone else for their happiness. Does it seem like he will be able to leave her? So many people’s happiness and lives depend on this one decision. I think it’s about time you and your BF have a clear conversation about the same. If he can’t give a proper timeline, please try to understand his situation. But also make sure he understands yours and maybe rethink this equation. It really isn’t healthy. You deserve a love you can have wholly, and not just in pieces, and in the shadows.

Hope this helps

...Read more

DISCLAIMER: The content of this post by the expert is the personal view of the rediffGURU. Investment in securities market are subject to market risks. Read all the related document carefully before investing. The securities quoted are for illustration only and are not recommendatory. Users are advised to pursue the information provided by the rediffGURU only as a source of information and as a point of reference and to rely on their own judgement when making a decision. RediffGURUS is an intermediary as per India's Information Technology Act.

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