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Ramalingam Kalirajan  |6971 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Apr 09, 2024

Ramalingam Kalirajan has over 23 years of experience in mutual funds and financial planning.
He has an MBA in finance from the University of Madras and is a certified financial planner.
He is the director and chief financial planner at Holistic Investment, a Chennai-based firm that offers financial planning and wealth management advice.... more
Sara Question by Sara on Apr 08, 2024Hindi
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I am 50 my monthly net salary is 1.19 lakh.govt servant with pension.home loan of 32.lakh.i need to retire in 3 yrs.how much corpus I need to get an income of 1 lakh without considering my pension.i have a daughter coll going.no medical or term insurance.no savings

Ans: To generate a monthly income of 1 lakh after retirement, calculate your annual expenses and multiply by 25 to estimate the corpus needed for retirement. Subtract your expected pension and factor in inflation. Since you have three years until retirement, focus on aggressive savings and investments to build your retirement corpus swiftly. Prioritize clearing your home loan to reduce financial burden. Consider purchasing adequate term and medical insurance coverage to safeguard against unforeseen expenses. Start saving diligently to accumulate the required corpus within the given timeframe, ensuring financial security for retirement and your daughter's education.
DISCLAIMER: The content of this post by the expert is the personal view of the rediffGURU. Users are advised to pursue the information provided by the rediffGURU only as a source of information to be as a point of reference and to rely on their own judgement when making a decision.
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Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |6971 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Aug 08, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Jul 31, 2024Hindi
Money
Hi sir, I have net salary of 2.5L per month and am 48 year old with 2 children aged 16 and 14. I have a EPF corpus of 60 lakhs , NPS 20 lakhs, 10L in stocks,MF portfolio of 15L,invest 50k monthly in MF SIPs. I own a house(loan free), have other outstanding loans of 8 lakhs. I have family floater medical insurance with 30L coverage and life cover for 1.5Cr. I wish to retire by age of 50 - pls advise how much corpus do I need at hand to retire.consider my monthly expense as 60-70k
Ans: Current Financial Situation

Your current financial position is strong. You have a good salary and a solid investment portfolio. Owning a loan-free house adds security. Your EPF, NPS, and SIP investments are well-planned. The life and health insurance coverage is also comprehensive. However, retiring at 50 requires careful planning, especially considering your children’s future needs.

Assessing Your Retirement Needs

To determine your required retirement corpus, several factors must be considered:

Monthly Expenses Post-Retirement: Currently, your expenses are Rs. 60k-70k monthly. This will likely increase with inflation. At an estimated 6% inflation rate, your monthly expenses might double in 12 years.

Retirement Age: You plan to retire in two years at 50. This is an early retirement, so your corpus needs to last longer, possibly 35-40 years.

Children’s Education: Your children are 16 and 14. Higher education costs can be significant in the next few years. Allocating funds for their education is crucial.

Lifestyle Post-Retirement: Consider how your lifestyle might change. Will you travel more? Will healthcare needs increase? These factors affect your corpus requirement.

Estimating the Retirement Corpus

Based on your current expenses and future needs, your retirement corpus should be substantial. Here’s a simplified approach to calculating it:

Inflation-Adjusted Expenses: Your current expenses of Rs. 60k-70k monthly could rise to around Rs. 1.2 lakh monthly by the time you retire. Over a 35-40 year retirement period, this requires a significant corpus.

Healthcare Costs: As you age, healthcare costs will likely increase. While your insurance covers a significant amount, out-of-pocket expenses can still be high.

Children’s Future: Your children’s higher education and potential marriage costs must be factored in. This could be an additional Rs. 50-60 lakhs or more.

Lifestyle and Emergencies: Maintaining your current lifestyle and being prepared for emergencies is essential. This could add another Rs. 50 lakhs to your corpus requirement.

Considering these factors, a retirement corpus of approximately Rs. 10-12 crores might be necessary. This should be enough to cover your monthly expenses, healthcare, and any unforeseen costs. This estimate ensures a comfortable and secure retirement, even if you live longer than expected.

Optimizing Your Investments

To reach this corpus in two years, maximizing your investments is critical:

Increase SIP Contributions: Currently, you invest Rs. 50k monthly in SIPs. Increasing this amount, if possible, will help grow your corpus faster.

Focus on Growth-Oriented Funds: With a two-year horizon, investing in funds with higher growth potential can be beneficial. While these are riskier, they offer better returns.

Review Your Portfolio: Regularly review your mutual fund portfolio. Ensure it’s aligned with your retirement goals and risk tolerance.

Debt Reduction: Paying off the remaining Rs. 8 lakh loan should be a priority. Reducing debt will lower your financial burden in retirement.

NPS and EPF Utilization: Your EPF and NPS together amount to Rs. 80 lakhs. These are crucial components of your retirement corpus. However, they may not be enough alone, so continue to build on them.

Healthcare and Insurance Planning

Adequate Coverage: Your current health coverage of Rs. 30 lakhs is good. But, it might not be enough in later years due to rising medical costs. Consider enhancing your coverage or adding a super top-up plan.

Life Insurance: Your Rs. 1.5 crore life cover is substantial. Ensure it’s sufficient to cover your family’s needs if something happens to you before or after retirement.

Retirement Lifestyle and Goals

Post-Retirement Activities: Think about how you want to spend your retirement. If you plan to pursue hobbies or travel, these will need additional funds.

Part-Time Work: If full retirement seems challenging, consider part-time work or consulting. This can supplement your income and keep you engaged.

Final Insights

Retiring at 50 is ambitious, but achievable with careful planning. You should aim for a retirement corpus of Rs. 10-12 crores to cover all your future needs. Maximizing your investments, reducing debt, and planning for healthcare are key steps. Regular reviews with a Certified Financial Planner will help ensure your financial plan stays on track.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in

..Read more

Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |6971 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Aug 16, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Aug 13, 2024Hindi
Money
I am 35 years old government employee earning 70k in hand after all deduction including tax and my room rent. I have two kids, 4 years old son and 2.5 years old daughter. I want to plan for retirement at the age of 50 years. Suppose i don't have any investment and any liabilities right now, monthly expenses is 50k. I also want to construct a house worth 80-90 lacs currently at my own land at the age of 50 years. Considering such scenario,how much corpus will i need to have at the time of retirement i.e. at 50 years old.
Ans: You are a 35-year-old government employee, earning Rs. 70,000 per month after all deductions. With a 4-year-old son and a 2.5-year-old daughter, your monthly expenses amount to Rs. 50,000. You plan to retire at 50 years of age and wish to construct a house worth Rs. 80-90 lakhs at that time.

Your scenario presents a clear goal: to ensure a comfortable retirement and the construction of your dream home. Let’s explore how you can achieve these objectives.

Estimating Retirement Corpus
Inflation Consideration

Effect on Expenses: Over the next 15 years, inflation will significantly impact your monthly expenses. Assuming an average inflation rate of 6%, your current monthly expenses of Rs. 50,000 will likely increase substantially by the time you retire.

Future Monthly Expenses: By the time you retire at 50, your monthly expenses could be around Rs. 1.20-1.30 lakhs, considering inflation. This is a critical factor in determining your required retirement corpus.

Life Expectancy

Post-Retirement Years: If you retire at 50, you may need to plan for at least 30-35 years post-retirement, considering the average life expectancy.

Longevity Risk: It's essential to ensure that your corpus lasts throughout your retirement. This will protect against the risk of outliving your savings.

Corpus Calculation

Retirement Corpus: To maintain a lifestyle with Rs. 1.20-1.30 lakhs per month, you may need a corpus of around Rs. 5-7 crores by the time you retire. This amount should cover your living expenses, medical costs, and other needs throughout your retirement.

Income Generation: Your corpus should generate enough income to cover your monthly expenses without dipping into the principal amount for as long as possible.

Planning for House Construction
Future Cost Estimation

Construction Costs: The house you plan to build currently costs Rs. 80-90 lakhs. However, construction costs will rise over the next 15 years due to inflation.

Adjusted Cost: By the time you are 50, the cost could rise to around Rs. 1.5-2 crores. It's essential to plan for this increase to ensure you have sufficient funds.

Separate Savings for House

Dedicated Fund: Set aside a separate investment for your house construction. This can be a mix of equity and debt investments to match the timeline of 15 years.

Systematic Investment Plan (SIP): Consider starting an SIP specifically for your house fund. This will allow you to accumulate the required amount systematically over time.

Investment Strategy to Achieve Goals
Asset Allocation

Balanced Portfolio: Your investment strategy should balance between equity and debt. Equity investments will help in wealth creation, while debt investments will provide stability.

Equity Exposure: Given your age and long investment horizon, a higher allocation towards equity is advisable. Equity can offer the growth needed to achieve your retirement corpus.

Debt Instruments: Include debt instruments for stability and capital preservation. This ensures that you can handle market volatility without significant stress.

Avoiding Index Funds

Active Management Benefits: Index funds, while cost-effective, might not offer the returns needed to meet your retirement goals. Actively managed funds, under the guidance of a Certified Financial Planner, can help you navigate market fluctuations better and potentially outperform index funds.
Regular vs. Direct Funds

Professional Guidance: Investing through regular funds with the help of a Certified Financial Planner (CFP) can provide you with valuable insights and personalized advice. Direct funds may save on costs, but the expertise of a CFP can help in achieving your financial goals more efficiently.
Building a Contingency Fund

Emergency Fund: Before you begin investing, ensure you have an emergency fund in place. This fund should cover at least 6-12 months of your expenses and should be kept in liquid assets like a savings account or a short-term fixed deposit.
Planning for Children’s Education
Education Fund

Rising Costs: The cost of education is rising faster than general inflation. You’ll need to plan for your children’s education expenses, especially for higher education.

Separate Investment: Set up a dedicated investment for your children’s education. This could be through a mix of child-specific mutual funds and debt instruments to match the timeline when funds will be required.

Insurance for Protection

Life Insurance: Ensure you have adequate life insurance coverage to protect your family in case of an unforeseen event. Term insurance is recommended as it provides a large cover at a low cost.

Health Insurance: Maintain a robust health insurance plan for your family. Medical costs are unpredictable and can significantly impact your financial plan if not adequately insured.

Generating Post-Retirement Income
Withdrawal Strategy

Systematic Withdrawal Plan (SWP): Consider setting up an SWP from your mutual fund investments post-retirement. This will allow you to withdraw a fixed amount regularly, ensuring a steady income stream.

Balanced Income: The SWP can be structured to provide the Rs. 1.20-1.30 lakhs per month needed to cover your post-retirement expenses.

Fixed Income Instruments

Stable Returns: Include fixed income instruments like debt funds, fixed deposits, and bonds in your post-retirement portfolio. These can provide stability and predictable returns, reducing the risk of capital erosion.
Final Insights
Ajay, your goals are achievable with a well-structured financial plan. The key is to start early, remain disciplined, and review your plan regularly with the help of a Certified Financial Planner. Focus on building a diversified portfolio that balances growth and stability. Ensure that you are adequately insured and have a contingency fund in place.

Planning for your retirement and house construction simultaneously requires careful consideration of inflation, future costs, and your risk tolerance. With a clear plan and the right guidance, you can enjoy a comfortable retirement and fulfill your dream of building a house.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in

..Read more

Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |6971 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Sep 09, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Sep 09, 2024Hindi
Money
Hi sir, I have net salary of 2.7L per month and am 46 year old with 2 children aged 12 and 6. I have a EPF+PPF corpus of 65 lakhs , NPS 5 lakhs, 1CR in MF portfolio, invest 50k monthly (Which is on Hold currently) in MF SIPs. I own a house 65L(loan free) & another house 2CR have outstanding loans of 1CR. I have family floater medical insurance with 20L coverage and life cover for 1Cr. I wish to retire by age of 55 - pls advise how much corpus do I need at hand to retire. Consider my monthly expense as 1L
Ans: You are 46 years old with a net salary of Rs. 2.7 lakh per month. You have two children, aged 12 and 6, and a current corpus of Rs. 65 lakh in EPF and PPF, Rs. 5 lakh in NPS, and Rs. 1 crore in your mutual fund portfolio. Additionally, you own two properties, one valued at Rs. 65 lakh (loan-free) and another valued at Rs. 2 crore, with an outstanding loan of Rs. 1 crore. Your current monthly expenses are Rs. 1 lakh, and you have paused your monthly SIP of Rs. 50,000. You also hold a life insurance cover worth Rs. 1 crore and a family floater medical insurance with Rs. 20 lakh coverage.

You plan to retire by the age of 55, which gives you approximately nine years to build a sufficient corpus. Let's explore how much you need to comfortably retire while sustaining your current lifestyle.

Estimating Your Retirement Corpus
To determine your retirement corpus, we need to consider several factors:

Current monthly expenses: Rs. 1 lakh
Retirement age: 55
Post-retirement years: Assuming life expectancy of 85 years, you need to plan for 30 years post-retirement.
Inflation rate: An assumed inflation rate of 6% per year is a reasonable estimate for the future.
Growth rate of investments: Typically, diversified equity mutual funds have delivered around 10-12% returns over the long term.
Based on these factors, your current monthly expenses will increase due to inflation, and you need a corpus that generates enough to cover these rising costs. Since your expenses are Rs. 1 lakh today, they could double or triple over time. Your corpus should be able to sustain this without depleting prematurely.

Breakup of Current Assets
EPF & PPF (Rs. 65 lakh): These are stable, low-risk assets that will help you post-retirement but won't generate high returns.

NPS (Rs. 5 lakh): Provides tax benefits and is specifically designed for retirement savings. It will grow over time but is not highly flexible for withdrawals until retirement age.

Mutual Funds (Rs. 1 crore): This is an excellent foundation for your retirement plan. Equity mutual funds, in particular, have the potential to grow at a faster rate and combat inflation.

Real Estate (Rs. 65 lakh + Rs. 2 crore): While real estate holds value, its liquidity is limited. The house you live in does not contribute to your retirement corpus unless you plan to downsize. The second house has a loan of Rs. 1 crore, and the EMIs for this property must be factored into your pre-retirement cash flows.

Life Insurance (Rs. 1 crore): While it’s important for your family’s protection, this doesn’t contribute to your retirement corpus.

Estimating Your Future Monthly Expenses
Your current monthly expense is Rs. 1 lakh, but due to inflation, this figure will increase. Let’s assume the inflation rate remains at 6%. By the time you retire at 55, your monthly expenses will likely double or triple, reaching anywhere between Rs. 1.7 lakh to Rs. 2 lakh per month. Your retirement corpus should be large enough to generate this amount without running out of funds.

In addition, you’ll have to account for:

Healthcare costs: As you age, medical expenses tend to rise. Even though you have Rs. 20 lakh family floater insurance, post-retirement medical costs not covered by insurance should be factored in.

Educational expenses: Your children’s education could be a significant expense over the next 10 to 15 years.

Corpus Required for Comfortable Retirement
To maintain your current lifestyle, you would need a corpus that generates at least Rs. 2 lakh per month during retirement. Based on a withdrawal rate of 4%, which is commonly used to ensure the corpus lasts for the entirety of your retirement, you’ll need a retirement corpus of approximately Rs. 6 to 7 crore.

This corpus will ensure that you can comfortably cover your rising living expenses, healthcare, and other unforeseen costs without depleting your savings.

Recommendations to Achieve the Corpus
Here’s a detailed plan to help you achieve your target of Rs. 6 to 7 crore before retirement:

1. Resume Your SIP Investments
Restart your monthly SIP of Rs. 50,000 immediately. This is crucial, as equity mutual funds can provide the high returns needed to meet your retirement goal.

Consider increasing your SIP contribution each year in line with salary increments. This will accelerate your corpus growth and help you fight inflation more effectively.

2. Focus on Equity Mutual Funds
Given your long-term horizon (9 years until retirement), equity mutual funds remain the best investment option to grow your wealth. These funds have historically provided higher returns (10-12% CAGR), which will be essential for building your retirement corpus.

Ensure your portfolio is diversified across large-cap, mid-cap, and multi-cap mutual funds for balanced growth and risk.

3. Debt Repayment Strategy
You currently have an outstanding home loan of Rs. 1 crore. It’s advisable to clear this debt as early as possible. Carrying such a large debt into retirement can strain your finances.

Use a portion of your liquid assets, such as your mutual fund corpus or any bonuses, to reduce the loan burden gradually. This will free up cash flow and allow you to focus more on building your retirement fund.

4. Maximize Your EPF & PPF Contributions
Continue contributing to your EPF and PPF accounts. While the returns from these are modest, they are low-risk and provide tax-free returns, making them ideal for post-retirement stability.

As PPF matures, consider reinvesting the proceeds into equity mutual funds to capitalize on higher returns.

5. Increase Contributions to NPS
Your NPS balance is currently Rs. 5 lakh. Increase your contributions to this as it provides excellent tax benefits and is tailored for retirement.

NPS is also one of the few products where withdrawals are partially tax-free. Increasing contributions now will give you a more substantial corpus in the future.

6. Prioritize Children’s Education
Plan separately for your children’s education expenses. You might want to use specific child education funds or a combination of mutual funds for this.

Avoid dipping into your retirement savings for education purposes. Set clear boundaries between these two financial goals.

Final Insights
At 46, you are well-positioned financially, but pausing your SIP investments and holding onto a large loan could hinder your retirement plans. Restart your investments and focus on paying off your loan as soon as possible. By maintaining discipline and increasing your contributions to SIPs, NPS, and PPF, you should comfortably achieve your retirement corpus of Rs. 6 to 7 crore. Prioritize growth-oriented investments like equity mutual funds, and continue evaluating your portfolio annually to ensure it aligns with your retirement goals.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in

..Read more

Latest Questions
Ravi

Ravi Mittal  |395 Answers  |Ask -

Dating, Relationships Expert - Answered on Nov 05, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Sep 15, 2024Hindi
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Relationship
I am 50 years old and got married 15 years ago. I am a very spontaneous sort of a guy and enjoy life, partying etc. I was also very active socially.My wife being the complete opposite put a stop to all that once we got married. She also does not display any affection and has no interest in physical intimacy. She is just concerned with her housework.We also have lot of differences in mental attitude & intellectual abilities. At no stage will we ever seperate, however, I am unhappy with her nature. She has lot of friends, however is always at daggers drawn with in her in laws. We had to stay separately for 6 months, and I tried looking for love else where, however after a couple of months, I realised, that I missed her. I am in a quandary. Despite requesting her to work on our relationship, I get no response. Please advise on how to proceed.
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
I understand you are in a tough spot. But it's nice to see that after all those years of differences, you still have genuine feelings for her. I strongly suggest considering marriage counseling. From your description of your marriage, it seems to be there have been issues from the very beginning of it. It's been too long and now those issues must've become deep-rooted. Seeing a professional can be a game-changer. They can guide you out of this slump more methodically and help you navigate the emotions you are feeling right now. It can also help you understand the reasons for your wife's disinterest and handle it better.

Best Wishes

...Read more

Ravi

Ravi Mittal  |395 Answers  |Ask -

Dating, Relationships Expert - Answered on Nov 05, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Nov 02, 2024Hindi
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Relationship
Hii, I have an love marriage after 9 years of dating and 6 years, 2 children post marriage, my little one is 11 months old now. My husband has an affair upto chatting to someone in his company, his junior but in different department, when my Lil one was 1 month old, we had in a rough patch then due to child birth and family drama. When I saw it and confronted him, he said he is sorry and won't do it again, we had multiple fights for 3-4 months after then due to same reason, but he mostly listen and consol. It's been a lot of mental torture for me. I love my husband a lot and he is a good person, but sometimes sill I see her msg in his phone asking for small helps or casual msg. She is also married. I am not sure my husband deletes msg or what, I am not able to get over this. Before it, this is was preety much a good relationship. I am highly educated and independent women. I don't want anything form my husband apart from love. What should I do, whenever I tell him I want to just leave and let him have his life, he won't let me somehow. We are having a good physical relationship 2-4 times a week( just to tell where we are). Please help me...I can't overcome that he is making fool of me...
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
I am sorry to hear you are in such a tough spot. I would suggest considering marriage counseling. A professional who can help you both tackle these issues would be helpful in this situation. I understand that it was his mistake and he needs to put the effort to make you trust him again, but since you are still together, you will also have to put in the effort to let it. I know it is difficult and that's where marriage counselor comes in. They can help you navigate these feelings. Moreover, if he is indeed hiding something, therapy can help that come out in the open.

Hope this helps.

...Read more

Ravi

Ravi Mittal  |395 Answers  |Ask -

Dating, Relationships Expert - Answered on Nov 05, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Sep 10, 2024Hindi
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Relationship
Hi, Me(M38) and wife(F37) happily married for 12 years and blessed with one daughter. Partner(F28)continuing friendship with a person[M] who had crush on her before marriage considered emotional infidelity? Me(M38) and wife(F37) happily married for 12 years and blessed with one daughter. My wife is having friendship (strictly platonic) with a guy from her 10tlh grade (same class). Before our marriage (she may be doing her college, our relationship just started may be 2 weeks) this guy told her he has genuine interest in her and he want to take the relationship further if she wants, she said she is not interested in a relationship and she got committed, she always saw him as a friend, no other feelings for him and we can be friends if you don't bring any romantic interest again. He never took this talk again ever after and happy to be a friend. They are talking as friends. She got married to me. He also got married. They still do chats once in a month. She introduced me to him and visited his home when we visited his city. He also came to our home once (me and my family was there). She used to update me with chat she had with him and the content they are chatting. I am ok with that When we were talking about our school life and college life 2 years before. She said this guy had crush on her during her college days. I asked her, why did not she tell me this info till now. She said it is not purposely, she does not feel the need to do as the person is not in-appropriate with her and continuing as good friend as promised after she rejected his proposal. I don’t want to create any unnecessary issues as I don’t have any felling or so with him. That time I checked their chats completely, it’s about update about their common friends, their recent travel, their job, meditation courses and the books they read recently. I haven’t seen any flirting or romantic message from either of them. So I am perfectly fine with it and had no problems. I recently came to know about the concept of emotional cheating which is very new to me. Before that cheating to me is only flirting, sexeting and physical sex. I have asked for advice in redddit.com in infedility sub forum about emotional cheating/ emotion affair. There persons are advising like even having friendship with someone who had crush on you is emotional cheating as it is indirectly leading them on you. So with an omission of lie he had crush on her and indirectly leading him on you wife was emotionally cheating on you. This is very much equal to cheating. I do have lots of friends in other gender, but no one had crush on me. Does this count as emotional cheating/affair as she did not mention he had crush on her before marriage? I am little depressed and not able to spend quality time with my wife who is in postpartum depression and take care of our daughter properly as before. Do you guys advise me how to navigate this situation?
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
Are you really going to ruin your happy relationship based on some new term you have learned recently? Emotional cheating and many more terms of the kind will come and go, what truly matters is the truth. She is merely friends with this guy and for your peace of mind, you have even checked their conversations- what part of it looks like cheating to you? If tomorrow, some random person projecting their own insecurities claims that a man speaking to a woman is some "new form" of cheating, would you start believing that? My point is that these are just random opinions of some people- it isn't the ultimate truth. The entire context matters. This man had a crush on your wife, she rejected it, and now they are just friends. I find absolutely no misconduct or infidelity in this. The fact that none of your friends had a crush on you does not factor in at all. Moreover, your wife is in postpartum depression- that should be your biggest concern but here you are, giving more importance to the random 2 AM thoughts of some people you don't even know. Please rethink if you are being fair to your wife- the mother of your child.

Best Wishes

...Read more

Ravi

Ravi Mittal  |395 Answers  |Ask -

Dating, Relationships Expert - Answered on Nov 05, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Oct 26, 2024Hindi
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Relationship
I (30M) am looking for Arranged Marriage Prospects. My Family has found a Prospect (27F) who seems like a Good Match, she's Well Educated, Earning Well & from the same Community. I haven't yet met her in Person, but connected with her on Social Media Platforms & interacting regularly. Recently, I scrolled through her Instagram Profile (It's a Public Profile). She seems to be a very Sociable Person, she has shared many Photos of herself, Partying/Travelling along with her Friends. My Problem is that she seems to like Wearing Clothes which are Revealing. She has shared many Photos/Videos, in which she's skimpily dressed (including some Bikini Photos at Beach/Swimming Pool). She also has a Pierced Navel Ring & Tattoos on some Private Parts like Chest, Hips, Thighs & Lower Back, which she flaunts proudly on Social Media. Though, I am not Judging her Character, based on her Choice of Clothing, but seeing all these made me a little Uncomfortable, as I am a very Modest & Simple Person myself. I have not discussed this issue with my Parents, as they have a very good opinion about her (which I don't want to Ruin). But I've discussed with some of my closest Friends (of both Genders) & some of them have Chided me for being so Judgemental. They suggested me to meet her atleast once in person, to understand what's her Character/Personality like. Shall I give it a try or Reject her Politely at this stage itself, without wasting any more Time (either her or mine)? Or am I being too Superficial to Judge a Woman, just based on her Social Media Profile, without even meeting her once, personally (This is what some of my closest Female Friends opined)? Please suggest me how to proceed with this Prospect in Arranged Marriage.
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
I know it might come off as you being judgmental of her choice of dressing, but you have a right to form an opinion in your mind, especially since in your case, you might be marrying the person. As long as you are not making up your mind about her based on her dressing, forcing her to dress the way she wants, or thrusting your opinion on her, it's alright. It's human nature to be a bit jerked by the choices others make that we won't make ourselves. Having said that, I believe meeting her once in person can be good for you; you might have a new perspective- both about her and on life. But no one can force you to do either. My suggestion is that do what you think is right- if you are sure you will reject this alliance based on her choice of clothes, even if she is the nicest person on the face of the earth, meeting up might be a waste of time. But if you think you are open to changing your mind, go for it.

I would also like for you to remember one important point if things work out between the two of you- do not try to push your opinions on dressing and change the way she is after getting married. That would not be fair. In case, you start hoping that she will change and fit YOUR mold of the perfect woman, I would strongly suggest keeping that thought in check.

Best Wishes.

...Read more

DISCLAIMER: The content of this post by the expert is the personal view of the rediffGURU. Investment in securities market are subject to market risks. Read all the related document carefully before investing. The securities quoted are for illustration only and are not recommendatory. Users are advised to pursue the information provided by the rediffGURU only as a source of information and as a point of reference and to rely on their own judgement when making a decision. RediffGURUS is an intermediary as per India's Information Technology Act.

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