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50 Years Old with Rs. 70,000 income - Can I Retire Comfortably in 10 Years?

Milind

Milind Vadjikar  |593 Answers  |Ask -

Insurance, Stocks, MF, PF Expert - Answered on Sep 16, 2024

Milind Vadjikar is an independent MF distributor registered with Association of Mutual Funds in India (AMFI) and a retirement financial planning advisor registered with Pension Fund Regulatory and Development Authority (PFRDA).
He has a mechanical engineering degree from Government Engineering College, Sambhajinagar, and an MBA in international business from the Symbiosis Institute of Business Management, Pune.
With over 16 years of experience in stock investments, and over six year experience in investment guidance and support, he believes that balanced asset allocation and goal-focused disciplined investing is the key to achieving investor goals.... more
Asked by Anonymous - Sep 16, 2024Hindi
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I am 50 getting retirement in next 10 years now my net salary after deduction 70000, I made 25000 sip from this year upto 10 years I have to own houses and 30 lakhs lic which will come in next year , I want purchase one flat fr rs 25 lakhs ,fr retirement I want month of rs 75000 per months is it enough after 10 yrs , my daughter is studying in b.e in 2yr and son 8th standard.

Ans: Your current earnings of 70K per month if adjusted for inflation(6% assumed)10 years would be 1.25 L.

Assuming you will need 70% of that inflation adjusted value to cover your regular expenses in retirement so your monthly payout requirement will be 70% of 1.25 L=87.5K
A sip of 25 K for 10 years will yield you a corpus of 61.67 L.
A 6% annuity will yield you a monthly income of 30.8K.
If you have corpus available through other sources like EPF, PPF upto 1.13 Cr after 10 years then NO issue the current sip will suffice. (113+61.67=174.67)
A 6% annuity of 1.7467 Cr will yield you monthly payout of around 87.5K
Else you may need to do a sip of 32K for 15 years to reach targetted corpus.
It can be achieved in 10 years too but the sip amount comes to 71K more then your monthly income of 70K hence redundant. (All sip returns are assumed from an equity fund at a modest rate of 13%)

The LIC policy maturity proceeds can be used to purchase the flat as desired.

However more important goals before retirement are the education funding requirement for your children.

I hope you have made provisions towards the same.

*Investments in mutual funds are subject to market risks. Please read all scheme related documents carefully before investing

If you need any further clarity, kindly revert.

Happy Investing!!
DISCLAIMER: The content of this post by the expert is the personal view of the rediffGURU. Users are advised to pursue the information provided by the rediffGURU only as a source of information to be as a point of reference and to rely on their own judgement when making a decision.
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Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |6991 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on May 08, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Apr 23, 2024Hindi
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Hello I plan to retire in next 4 years. I will be 52 years old at that time. I have 2, 3 BHK houses in Mumbai out of which one is required for our stay and other can be put up for rent which can fetch a monthly rent of 1lakh (today's date). I will get around 1 lakh(in hand as pension) and will have corpus of around 2 Cr at the time of my retirement. I have a daughter who will be fishing her graduation after 4 years. I will need money for her higher education and her marriage (I do not need gold as I already have). I have upper middle class life style at present. My question is will question is will the amount as I described earlier be sufficient for me to retire at an age of 52. I want to retain the present lifestyle.
Ans: Retiring at 52 with a sufficient corpus and a rental income from one of your properties is indeed a significant milestone. Let's assess your situation to determine if your current plan aligns with your retirement goals and lifestyle expectations:
1. Corpus and Income Sources: With a projected corpus of 2 Cr and an additional monthly pension of 1 lakh, you have a substantial financial base to support your retirement. The rental income from your property further adds to your income stream.
2. Expenses and Lifestyle: It's essential to evaluate your expected expenses post-retirement and compare them with your projected income. Since you aim to maintain your upper-middle-class lifestyle, factor in expenses related to healthcare, travel, leisure activities, and any unforeseen emergencies.
3. Daughter's Education and Marriage: Planning for your daughter's higher education and marriage is crucial. Estimate the future costs for these milestones and ensure that you allocate a portion of your corpus towards meeting these expenses. Consider inflation-adjusted estimates for a more accurate assessment.
4. Inflation and Investment Strategy: Given your retirement horizon of 4 years, focus on a balanced investment approach that prioritizes capital preservation while aiming for moderate growth. Consider allocating a portion of your corpus to safer investment avenues such as debt instruments, while also diversifying into equities and real estate for potential growth.
5. Regular Review and Adjustments: Regularly review your financial plan to ensure it remains aligned with your retirement goals and lifestyle aspirations. Make adjustments as necessary based on changes in your income, expenses, and market conditions.
6. Consultation with Financial Planner: Consider seeking advice from a certified financial planner who can provide personalized guidance based on your specific financial situation, retirement goals, and risk tolerance.
In summary, while your current financial situation appears promising for retirement at 52, it's essential to conduct a thorough assessment of your income, expenses, and investment strategy to ensure long-term financial security and fulfillment of your retirement objectives.

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Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |6991 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Sep 28, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Sep 28, 2024Hindi
Money
Sir I am age of 50 , present I am having own 2 house of buit up area 30 x40 , and gold 30 lakhs and fd of 10 lakhs and lic will come in next year around 40 lakhs , I have to kids one is studying in B.E 2nd yr, and one more 8th std , I have only 10 yrs in my hand I will get retired, presently I started 25000 sip and one ppf of 5k ,is it enough fr my next retirement life....
Ans: You have 10 years until retirement and are keen on assessing your current financial situation. With two kids, one in college and the other in school, it’s important to ensure that your retirement and their future are secure. Let’s analyze your financial position and evaluate whether your current plan is enough for a comfortable retirement.

Current Financial Position
Let’s take a quick look at your assets and existing savings:

Two Houses: You own two houses with a 30x40 built-up area. While real estate adds to your net worth, they may not provide immediate liquidity for retirement. We will focus on financial assets for now.

Gold Worth Rs 30 Lakh: Gold is a good long-term investment. It acts as a hedge against inflation, but it shouldn’t be the sole focus for retirement planning.

Fixed Deposit of Rs 10 Lakh: This is a stable, low-risk investment. However, fixed deposits generally offer lower returns, which might not be sufficient in the long run.

LIC Maturity Next Year: You expect Rs 40 lakh from your LIC maturity next year. This can be a good lump sum amount to invest further for your retirement.

Current SIPs: You’ve started a Rs 25,000 monthly SIP. This is a great step towards building your retirement corpus, especially in equity mutual funds.

PPF Contribution: You are contributing Rs 5,000 per month to PPF. This provides a safe and guaranteed return, ideal for retirement stability.

Assessing Your Retirement Goals
To determine if your current investments are enough, let’s break down some key factors:

1. Retirement Corpus Requirement
Based on your current lifestyle, you will need a retirement corpus that can generate enough income to cover your post-retirement expenses. Assuming your expenses continue to grow with inflation, you will need to account for this in your savings plan.

At retirement, you will need:

Monthly Income for Living Expenses: Estimate your monthly expenses post-retirement. This includes your daily living costs, medical expenses, and any other regular commitments. Typically, you should plan for at least 70-80% of your current monthly expenses, adjusted for inflation.

Inflation: Consider an inflation rate of 6-7% over the next 10 years. This will erode the value of money, meaning you’ll need a higher corpus to maintain the same standard of living.

2. Education Expenses for Your Kids
Your children’s education will likely require significant funding. With one child in BE 2nd year and another in 8th standard, you must plan for both higher education expenses. Factor this into your savings to avoid dipping into your retirement corpus later.

Allocate a portion of your investments for their education costs. Higher education can be expensive, so it’s important to set aside a separate fund for this purpose.
3. Health and Medical Emergencies
Medical costs tend to rise with age. Ensure you have adequate health insurance coverage for you and your spouse. This can safeguard your savings against unforeseen medical expenses.

If you haven’t already, consider increasing your health insurance coverage to Rs 20-25 lakh to cover any medical emergencies.

Evaluating Your Current Investments
Now, let’s assess whether your current investments are aligned with your retirement goals.

1. SIP Contributions
A monthly SIP of Rs 25,000 is a good start. Over the next 10 years, this can grow significantly, thanks to the power of compounding. Continue this investment in equity mutual funds to benefit from long-term market growth. You can expect a higher return from equity funds compared to traditional investments.

Consider increasing your SIP contributions annually. As your salary or income grows, increase your SIP by 10-15% each year. This “step-up” approach will ensure your investments keep pace with your growing needs.
2. Public Provident Fund (PPF)
You are contributing Rs 5,000 per month to PPF. This is a safe and tax-efficient investment that provides guaranteed returns. The current interest rate for PPF is around 7-7.5%. While this is stable, it might not be sufficient on its own to meet your retirement goals. However, it provides a good balance against your riskier equity investments.

Continue your PPF contributions, but rely on it as the stable portion of your retirement corpus. It will act as a safety net in your portfolio.
3. Fixed Deposits (FD)
You have Rs 10 lakh in fixed deposits. While this is a low-risk option, fixed deposits typically offer lower returns. Over time, inflation will erode the purchasing power of these funds.

Consider moving a portion of your FD into better-performing instruments like debt mutual funds, which offer slightly higher returns and are still relatively safe.
4. LIC Maturity
You expect Rs 40 lakh from LIC next year. This is a significant amount, and how you invest it will be crucial for your retirement. Lump-sum investments in mutual funds, balanced between equity and debt, can help grow this corpus efficiently.

Equity Mutual Funds: Consider investing a portion of the Rs 40 lakh into equity mutual funds. This will give you market-linked growth, essential for building a larger retirement corpus.

Debt Mutual Funds: For the more conservative part of your portfolio, invest in debt mutual funds. These are less risky and provide stable returns, balancing your overall investment.

5. Gold as a Backup
You have Rs 30 lakh in gold. While gold is a good hedge against inflation, it’s not a liquid asset that can easily fund regular retirement expenses. You can keep it as a backup or sell it during emergencies if needed. Avoid depending solely on gold for your retirement.

Recommendations for a Secure Retirement
Here are some key actions you should consider:

1. Increase Your SIP Contributions
As mentioned earlier, consider increasing your SIP contributions each year. A gradual increase will help grow your retirement corpus significantly. You might also want to explore investing in a mix of large-cap, mid-cap, and hybrid mutual funds for diversification.

2. Diversify with Debt Mutual Funds
Debt mutual funds are a safer option for the conservative portion of your portfolio. As you approach retirement, you’ll need to gradually shift your equity investments towards debt to reduce risk. Start with a 10-20% allocation in debt funds now, increasing it as you near retirement.

3. Create a Separate Fund for Children’s Education
Ensure you have separate investments for your children’s education. You can start a dedicated SIP for this purpose, or invest a portion of your LIC maturity and FD towards their higher education needs.

4. Health Insurance
Increase your health insurance coverage if it is insufficient. Medical expenses tend to rise with age, and a higher health insurance cover will prevent you from dipping into your retirement funds.

5. Emergency Fund
Keep at least 6 months of your living expenses in an emergency fund. This fund should be easily accessible and should cover any unexpected expenses, such as job loss or medical emergencies.

6. Avoid Real Estate Investments
As you already own two houses, you should avoid putting more money into real estate. Real estate is not very liquid, and it may not generate the regular income you need during retirement. Focus on financial assets like mutual funds for liquidity and growth.

7. Regularly Review Your Plan
Review your investment portfolio every year. Rebalance it to ensure that your equity-to-debt ratio remains appropriate for your risk appetite and changing goals. As you get closer to retirement, shift more towards conservative investments.

Final Insights
Your current investments are a great starting point, but there is room for improvement. By increasing your SIP contributions, diversifying into debt funds, and planning for your children’s education separately, you will be on track to meet your retirement goals. Ensure that you have enough health insurance and keep a portion of your assets in safe investments like PPF and debt funds. Regularly review and adjust your portfolio to ensure that your investments are aligned with your goals.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,
Chief Financial Planner,
www.holisticinvestment.in
https://www.youtube.com/@HolisticInvestment

..Read more

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Ramalingam Kalirajan  |6991 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Oct 07, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Oct 01, 2024Hindi
Money
I'm aged about 48 and still have about 12 years for retirement. I have two kids aged 16 and 10. Elder one is in 11th and younger in 5th standard. I earn 3 lakhs per month take home. I have own house with not EMI and I have another flat from which I get 10K monthly rent. I have around 40 lakhs in PF, 20 lakhs in equities, 10 lakhs in NPS, 5 lakhs each in my kids SSY account. I want to plan for my kids higher education, their marriage and my retirement. Will this money be sufficient to fulfil all my needs. Thank you for your assistance.
Ans: At 48, with about 12 years left for retirement, you are in a good position to plan for your future. Your current assets and income sources are quite commendable. Let’s break down your financial situation to assess how to best plan for your children's education, marriage, and your retirement.

You currently have the following assets:

Provident Fund (PF): Rs 40 lakhs
Equity Investments: Rs 20 lakhs
National Pension Scheme (NPS): Rs 10 lakhs
Sukanya Samriddhi Yojana (SSY): Rs 5 lakhs each for both kids
Rental Income: Rs 10,000 per month from your second flat
These are substantial savings, but let’s assess whether this will meet your long-term goals.

Planning for Children’s Higher Education
1. Education Costs Rising
Your elder child, currently in the 11th standard, will likely need funds for higher education in the next two years. Your younger child will need it in around seven years. Education inflation in India is around 8-10% per year, meaning that education costs are rising faster than most other expenses.

2. Allocate Separate Funds
It is essential to allocate specific funds for each child’s higher education. Your current savings in the SSY accounts are a good start. However, these amounts may not be sufficient to cover all higher education costs, especially if they pursue professional courses or study abroad. You should consider topping up these funds by systematically investing in equity mutual funds.

3. Use Balanced Investments for Growth
You have 12 years until retirement, which gives you enough time to take advantage of growth in equity markets. Consider increasing your equity investments to create a dedicated education corpus. A mix of equity and debt mutual funds can provide stability and growth.

Planning for Children’s Marriage
1. Marriage Costs Vary
Marriage expenses can be unpredictable, but you still have enough time to plan. You could earmark a part of your provident fund or equity investments specifically for this goal. Start small but regularly contribute to this goal over the next 10-15 years.

2. Use Safe Debt Instruments
Since marriage expenses could occur within the next 10-12 years, you should start shifting a portion of your funds into safer debt instruments closer to the time of need. This will help preserve your capital and provide predictable returns.

Planning for Retirement
1. Evaluate Retirement Corpus Needs
Your take-home salary is Rs 3 lakhs per month, but your income needs post-retirement will likely be lower. However, medical expenses and inflation must be factored in. To maintain your lifestyle and cover your expenses, aim to accumulate a retirement corpus that provides regular income.

2. Maximise Provident Fund and NPS Contributions
Your current PF of Rs 40 lakhs and NPS corpus of Rs 10 lakhs will continue to grow. Consider increasing your contributions to NPS, as it provides tax-efficient growth for your retirement. NPS also has a pension component, which will provide a regular income after retirement.

3. Diversify Retirement Savings
While PF and NPS are great, consider diversifying into mutual funds to achieve a balanced portfolio. A mix of equity and debt mutual funds will offer better returns and provide a safety net against inflation. You can shift more towards debt funds as you near retirement to protect your capital.

Rental Income as Supplementary Income
1. Rs 10,000 from Rent
Your second flat provides a rental income of Rs 10,000 per month. Although this is a modest amount, it adds to your retirement income. However, rental income should not be relied on as your primary income source, especially since it may not keep up with inflation. Continue to use it as a supplementary income, but ensure you have other steady income sources post-retirement.

Tax Efficiency and Planning
1. Tax Planning for Investments
You need to be mindful of taxes, especially with equity investments. Long-term capital gains (LTCG) above Rs 1.25 lakh are taxed at 12.5%, while short-term capital gains (STCG) are taxed at 20%. Plan your withdrawals and portfolio rebalancing to minimise your tax liabilities. This will help you retain more of your returns.

2. Retirement Tax Planning
Upon retirement, your income may come from various sources like NPS, PF, rental income, and mutual funds. Tax-efficient planning during retirement will help you make the most of your income streams. Be aware of how different sources of income are taxed, and plan your withdrawals accordingly.

Safeguard Against Unforeseen Events
1. Emergency Fund
It is essential to maintain an emergency fund that covers at least 6-12 months of living expenses. This should be kept separate from your investment corpus. You can keep this fund in a liquid or ultra-short-term debt fund for easy access.

2. Adequate Health Insurance
As you approach retirement, medical expenses will likely rise. Ensure you have adequate health insurance for yourself and your family. This will prevent unexpected medical bills from draining your retirement corpus.

Additional Recommendations
1. Avoid Over-Reliance on Real Estate
While real estate provides rental income, it is illiquid and may not appreciate as fast as other investments. Focus more on liquid investments like mutual funds for your retirement and children’s education needs.

2. Focus on Actively Managed Funds
Consider investing in actively managed funds rather than index funds. Actively managed funds allow expert fund managers to adjust the portfolio according to market conditions, which is especially important as you approach retirement and need to protect your capital.

3. Avoid Direct Funds
Direct mutual funds may save on commissions, but at this stage of your life, professional guidance is crucial. Certified Financial Planners (CFP) provide expert advice, ensuring you make the best decisions for your goals. Regular funds offer this advisory support, which can be invaluable in making tax-efficient and risk-adjusted choices.

Finally
You are in a good position to meet your financial goals, but some adjustments are necessary. Your focus should be on systematically building up your children’s education and marriage funds while securing your retirement corpus. Diversifying your investments, increasing contributions to NPS, and seeking professional guidance for tax planning will help you make the most of your resources.

It’s crucial to reassess your plan annually and make adjustments based on your evolving financial needs. With a steady approach and disciplined investment, you will be well-prepared to meet your goals.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in
https://www.youtube.com/@HolisticInvestment

..Read more

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Kanchan Rai  |396 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Nov 08, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Aug 09, 2024Hindi
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Relationship
Hi I brought up from a middle class family now I'm married and having 3 yrs kid, my younger brother recently got married! Ever since his marg there was a problem going on between my mom, brother and her wife , all the 3 of them bringing their problems to me and husband it creates a huge impact on my mental health due to their problems, if I try to resolve nobody is listening, I'm staying nearby my parents which is a big disadvantage, directly it's affecting me and my family? I don't know how to overcome from this type of issue
Ans: A compassionate but firm boundary can make a difference here. For instance, you could gently explain to your mother, brother, and his wife that while you understand and empathize with their challenges, you’re finding it difficult to handle all the tension that arises from these discussions. You might let them know that, for the sake of your own mental health and family well-being, you need to step back from being involved in any discussions about their conflicts.

If they do come to you with their concerns, try gently redirecting them, perhaps by suggesting that they talk directly to each other or even consider family counseling if they’re open to it. Remind them that only they can solve these issues by communicating directly, rather than relying on you as a mediator. Over time, they may begin to understand that their repeated involvement of you is not a productive solution.

Creating some physical and emotional space is key. If living nearby is heightening the tension, consider adjusting how often you interact in person. Focusing more on your own family’s peace, stability, and happiness will also help. It may feel challenging at first, but taking steps to protect your boundaries will benefit everyone, and gradually, they may even recognize the need to work out these issues themselves without depending on you.

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Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Nov 08, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Aug 10, 2024Hindi
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Hi ma’am, I am a 27 year old girl. My father is a very strict person. Since childhood I have tolerated many things like I was not allowed to make friends(not even girls, forgot about boys). When I was 12 years old I was told that I was not allowed to talk to boys, and if my father ever saw me doing so, he will kill me. So, I was not allowed to talk to any friend, forget about going out and other stuff. All I used to do is sit in my room and study,I was not allowed to go out to play, wasn’t allowed to watch tv, not even allowed to go and play with cousins. Even if there was a wedding in my family, i was not allowed to go out and enjoy. And this has continued till date. I am still not allowed to go out without my father’s permission. Although I live in Bengaluru and work in a big company with a high paying job. Even the salary I get is not mine. Because my father takes it from me and I can’t say no to him. I use to say to me that if I ever did anything which he thinks is wrong, he will kill me, or will not allow me to go to college and now he will not allow me to work. And now he want me to get married to someone of his choice because of caste system. But I have a boyfriend and I want to marry my him. But I can’t even tell this to my father, because once I tell him this, he will not allow me to leave the house ever again and he would get me married to next person he finds. I am very scared of him. I don’t want to get married to anyone but my boyfriend. What should I do? Should I run away and get married to my boyfriend. I don’t know what my father will do then. He is a very controlling person .
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Considering your father’s intense reaction to any choices that don’t align with his, safety is a priority. Consulting with a therapist or a counselor could help you process the emotional impact of your experiences and, importantly, develop strategies for how to approach this situation. Speaking to a counselor may also help you find a safe way to discuss your relationship with your father and express your own wishes while understanding any resources that might be available to you if needed.

If, ultimately, you decide to move forward with your relationship and marriage independently of your father’s permission, preparing yourself for potential emotional fallout is essential. While it’s natural to hope for family acceptance, remember that creating your own happiness is equally important. Over time, if your father can see that you’re stable, happy, and independent, he may eventually respect your decision.

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Kanchan Rai  |396 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Nov 08, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Nov 01, 2024Hindi
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Hi mam, I am in a 14 year old relationship with a man, the relationship is quite healthy until now, but our families are not accepting for marriage. Since his parents are divorced and her elder sister to. Everyone in my family is against this marriage and not one person is supporting it, but we truly love each other. Even the boy does, and he is doing everything he can for a mutual acceptance. There is no divorce history in my family till date. So sometimes, even I get sceptical about taking this relationship forward as I understand the seriousness of marriage, but I also understand that there is attachment, love, commitment, duration, everything involved in this 14 year old relationship which will make it very hard to accept someone else in place of him, so basically, I want to marry the guy, but not his family I know that’s not possible, but then what should I do? Should I just take the step forward with total faith in the man, or should I marry somewhere else where everything is great, only love will be unsure. The man has connections with both his parents and there is no custody involved. In this case. He is in a good relationship with both the parents, although he lives with his mother and sister.
Ans: Fourteen years is a profound commitment, and the fact that both of you have nurtured such a bond reflects a solid foundation that’s not easy to find or replicate. The conflict seems to lie mainly in your family’s fears and cultural values around marriage and their concern about potential patterns in relationships. This is an understandable reaction from them, given the uniqueness of his family background compared to what they’ve experienced.

It’s natural for you to feel torn, especially since you value your family’s approval and understand the complexities that can arise in marriage. While family acceptance can provide a comforting support system, there are instances when it doesn’t fully align with one’s own heart. Marrying him would mean choosing to rely primarily on each other, despite family reservations, which could require extra resilience and patience as you move forward together. Since he has strong relationships with both parents, it may be reassuring that he has a healthy view of family, despite their past. This could suggest that he has personal maturity and the ability to build a stable, loving relationship with you.

At the same time, your family’s perspective doesn’t necessarily mean there’s any curse or pattern that would carry over into your marriage. The key to deciding might be to look at the qualities he brings to the relationship, how both of you handle challenges, and whether he brings stability, honesty, and emotional support. The longevity and health of your relationship are positive indicators, and if both of you have open communication about potential concerns—like how family dynamics might play a role in the future—you’ll likely be prepared to face those hurdles together.

You’re faced with a decision that balances taking a leap of faith with the potential for some family disappointment. If he is the partner with whom you see a fulfilling life, the choice to marry might ultimately come down to what feels right to you, independent of family fears. Love, trust, and understanding—especially those that withstand the test of time—are incredibly powerful foundations. So, if you believe in the strength of your bond and feel you could weather any storm together, choosing him could be a step toward building the kind of family you truly want, even if it’s unconventional by your family’s standards.

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Kanchan

Kanchan Rai  |396 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Nov 08, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Nov 07, 2024
Relationship
Maam In last question of mine you told me that im taking meaning out of a friendly casual conversation. I may be doing so but I tried to ignore that guy but he is still staring at me and roaming around my house. What does that mean.???? Im not seeking attention from him. He himself is giving intense looks and appearing from no where. Our kids are in same school so I cant avoid seeing him. Its just not possible but i try not to give him.attention but he coming in front of me for no reason. Giving me suggestions about my child when I have not even asked him.anything.
Ans: One possibility here could be that he genuinely believes he’s being friendly and is unaware that his actions might be coming across as intrusive. Some people aren’t as skilled at reading subtle social cues or may interpret polite responses as openness to further interaction. Another scenario could be that he’s misinterpreting a simple acquaintanceship as an invitation for more personal connection, especially if he hasn’t recognized your signals for wanting distance.

It’s also possible, especially if he’s trying to advise you about your child, that he’s viewing himself as helpful or knowledgeable—again, likely without realizing he’s crossing a line. If he’s repeatedly making intense eye contact or appearing at odd times, it may also reflect a need for attention or connection on his part, even if it’s unintentional.

If this behavior continues and your efforts to distance yourself subtly aren’t working, it might be time to consider setting a gentle but clear boundary. This can be done with nonverbal cues, like quickly redirecting your gaze or finding reasons to leave a situation as soon as he tries to initiate a conversation. However, if his presence continues to bother you, there’s no harm in being more direct. A polite but firm approach, like thanking him for his advice and mentioning that you’d prefer to handle things yourself, can send a message that you’re not looking for further involvement.

Your well-being and comfort come first, and your instincts are valid. If his behavior is persistent and truly uncomfortable, it may be best to acknowledge it internally and remind yourself that you’re under no obligation to respond or interact beyond what feels right for you.

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Radheshyam

Radheshyam Zanwar  |1031 Answers  |Ask -

MHT-CET, IIT-JEE, NEET-UG Expert - Answered on Nov 08, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Nov 08, 2024Hindi
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Career
My son is in grade 10th, he wants to prepare for neet but he went for counselling twice where he had given some test which gave him results to prefer engineering now he is confused if i will not be able to do fare in neet thn what should i opt for since hes planning to go for integrated? Ease help
Ans: Hello.
To which tests your son appeared is not mentioned by you. I am assuming that he may be based to appear for either an IQ test or a DMIT Test. I would like to say that there is no need to 100% trust these tests. The results of these tests depend on the mindset of a student at that time. These tests are never 100% correct. Hence there is no need to worry about the results of these tests and what the counselor has told you.
Here are some key points on which you can work:
(1) Please ask his school teachers about his subject understanding.
(2) Please take an overall review of maths and science subjects from an understanding point of view only.
(3) Have an open talk with your son about his interest either in mathematics or biology.
(4) If possible, try to make an interaction with senior students who are preparing for JEE or NEET.
(5) Even though the coaching is now focussing either on PCM or PCB groups, it is advisable to take all 4 subjects PCMB in the 11th standard.
(6) Take a trial for at least 2 initial months in 11th standard for maths and biology subjects.
(7) Your son will automatically tell his interest in either engineering or medicine.
(8) Don't force your willingness on him to prepare for NEET.
(9) Based on the final decision, you may think of integrated courses.
(10) Your's sons interest matters more. If he is firm to go for NEET, then motivate him and keep the results of counselor tests aside.
Best of luck to your son for his bright future.

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If dissatisfied with the reply, please ask again without hesitation.
Thanks.

Radheshyam

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DISCLAIMER: The content of this post by the expert is the personal view of the rediffGURU. Investment in securities market are subject to market risks. Read all the related document carefully before investing. The securities quoted are for illustration only and are not recommendatory. Users are advised to pursue the information provided by the rediffGURU only as a source of information and as a point of reference and to rely on their own judgement when making a decision. RediffGURUS is an intermediary as per India's Information Technology Act.

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