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Planning to buy a house in Kolkata with 20 lacs in EPF, 42 lacs in PPF, 30 lacs in FD: Seeking your expert advice

Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |7014 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Sep 04, 2024

Ramalingam Kalirajan has over 23 years of experience in mutual funds and financial planning.
He has an MBA in finance from the University of Madras and is a certified financial planner.
He is the director and chief financial planner at Holistic Investment, a Chennai-based firm that offers financial planning and wealth management advice.... more
Anil Question by Anil on Aug 30, 2024Hindi
Money

Dear sir, I am 47 yrs age and i have 20 lacs in EPF, 42 lacs in PPF, 30 lacs in FD. I am planning to buy house in Kolkata in this year with budget 50 lacs taking loan amount upto 40%. I have family of 3 person with my wife and son who is specially able child. Medical insurance with 8 lacs per annum provided by my organisation where I am working. I am investing 2.5 lacs every year. I want to retire with 1.5 lacs per month and kindly also advice what are best investment for my child.

Ans: Current Financial Snapshot
Age: 47 years

Savings:

EPF: Rs 20 lakhs

PPF: Rs 42 lakhs

Fixed Deposits: Rs 30 lakhs

House Purchase Plan:

Budget: Rs 50 lakhs

Loan: Up to 40%

Family Details:

Wife and son

Son has special needs

Insurance:

Medical Insurance: Rs 8 lakhs per annum through employer
Investments:

Annual Investment: Rs 2.5 lakhs
Retirement Goal:

Monthly Income: Rs 1.5 lakhs
Current Investments in Mutual Funds: Rs 50 lakhs

You have built a solid financial base. Your savings and investments show good discipline. Planning to buy a house and retire comfortably demonstrates foresight. Let’s explore how to achieve your financial goals effectively.

Planning to Buy a House
Assessing Your Budget

Total Budget: Rs 50 lakhs

Loan Requirement: Up to 40%

Own Funds Needed: Rs 30 lakhs

Current Savings:

EPF: Rs 20 lakhs

PPF: Rs 42 lakhs

FD: Rs 30 lakhs

You have ample savings to support the house purchase. Allocating funds wisely will help manage the loan and repayments effectively.

Financing the Home Purchase

Loan Strategy:

Borrow up to 40% of the property value

Ensure affordable EMIs based on your income

Down Payment:

Use savings from PPF and FD

Avoid dipping into retirement funds

Interest Rates:

Compare different lenders for best rates

Opt for fixed or floating rates based on preference

Impact on Financial Goals

Loan Repayments:

Manage EMIs without affecting other investments

Maintain a balanced cash flow

Savings Allocation:

Continue contributing to EPF and PPF

Maintain emergency funds

Retirement Planning
Defining Your Retirement Goal

Monthly Income: Rs 1.5 lakhs

Retirement Age: 53 years

Investment Horizon: 6 years

Estimating the Corpus Needed

Inflation Adjustment:

Account for rising costs
Life Expectancy:

Plan for at least 20 years post-retirement
Healthcare Costs:

Include medical expenses in your plan
Strategies to Achieve Retirement Corpus

Increase Mutual Fund Investments:

Allocate more funds to SIPs

Focus on diversified equity funds

Maximise PPF Contributions:

Continue regular investments

Utilize the tax benefits

Utilise EPF for Retirement:

Ensure maximum contributions

Leverage the compound interest

Systematic Withdrawal Plan (SWP)

Regular Income:

Withdraw Rs 1.5 lakhs monthly
Inflation Adjustment:

Increase withdrawals as needed
Tax Efficiency:

Gains portion is taxed

Principal is tax-free

Investment Strategy
Maximising Mutual Fund Investments

Current SIP: Rs 2.5 lakhs annually

Increase SIP Contributions:

Allocate more towards equity funds

Aim for higher returns

Diversified Equity Funds:

Spread investments across sectors

Reduce risk through diversification

Active Fund Management

Benefits of Actively Managed Funds:

Fund managers adjust to market changes

Potential for higher returns

Disadvantages of Index Funds:

Lack of flexibility

Limited potential to outperform the market

Choosing Regular Funds:

Invest through Mutual Fund Distributors (MFD)

Benefit from professional guidance

Avoiding Direct Funds

Challenges of Direct Funds:

Require self-management

Higher risk of making uninformed decisions

Benefits of Regular Funds:

Professional oversight by CFP

Regular portfolio monitoring

Portfolio Diversification

Asset Allocation:

Balance between equity and debt funds
Gold Investments:

Maintain gold holdings for stability

Do not over-rely on gold

Emergency Fund:

Keep funds in liquid or short-term debt funds

Ensure quick access to cash

Investment for Your Special Needs Child
Creating a Dedicated Fund

Purpose:

Cover education and future needs
Investment Options:

Balanced mutual funds

Child-specific funds

Regular Contributions:

Allocate a portion of monthly savings

Ensure consistent growth

Benefits of Mutual Funds for Your Child

Growth Potential:

Higher returns over time
Professional Management:

Managed by experts
Diversification:

Spread risk across various sectors
Special Considerations

Liquidity Needs:

Ensure funds are accessible when needed
Safety and Stability:

Balance growth with low-risk investments
Insurance Considerations
Reviewing Medical Insurance

Current Coverage: Rs 8 lakhs per annum

Adequacy:

Ensure it covers all medical expenses
Additional Coverage:

Consider top-up plans if necessary
Term Insurance

Current Policy: Rs 1.5 crore

Review Coverage:

Ensure it meets your family's needs
Increase if Needed:

Higher coverage provides better protection
Health Insurance for Retirement

Post-Retirement Needs:

Healthcare costs may rise
Comprehensive Plans:

Choose plans with wide coverage
Critical Illness Cover:

Protect against severe health issues
Importance of Active Fund Management
Advantages Over Passive Investing

Market Adaptation:

Active managers respond to market changes
Potential for Higher Returns:

Aim to outperform benchmarks
Risk Management:

Adjust portfolios to minimize losses
Limitations of Index Funds

No Flexibility:

Cannot adjust to market trends
Average Returns:

Limited to market performance
Missed Opportunities:

Unable to capitalize on unique market conditions
Choosing Actively Managed Funds

Professional Expertise:

Managed by experienced fund managers
Customized Strategies:

Tailored to meet your financial goals
Better Risk Control:

Active management can reduce potential losses
Avoiding Direct Funds
Disadvantages of Direct Mutual Funds

Self-Management:

Requires time and knowledge
Higher Risk of Errors:

Potential for poor investment choices
Lack of Professional Guidance:

No expert to advise on changes
Benefits of Regular Mutual Funds through MFD

Expert Guidance:

Managed by Certified Financial Planners
Regular Monitoring:

Portfolio is reviewed and adjusted as needed
Emotional Discipline:

Avoid panic selling during market downturns
Convenience:

Easier to manage investments with professional help
Diversification of Portfolio
Balancing Equity and Debt

Equity Funds:

Higher growth potential

Suitable for long-term goals

Debt Funds:

Provide stability

Lower risk compared to equity

Hybrid Funds:

Combine both equity and debt

Offer balanced risk and return

Including Gold in Portfolio

Stability:

Gold acts as a hedge against inflation
Diversification:

Reduces overall portfolio risk
Moderate Allocation:

Do not over-invest in gold
Emergency Fund
Building an Emergency Fund

Purpose:

Cover unexpected expenses
Amount:

6-12 months of living expenses
Investment Options:

Liquid funds

Short-term debt funds

Maintaining Liquidity

Accessibility:

Ensure funds are easily accessible
Safety:

Invest in low-risk instruments
Avoiding Premature Withdrawals:

Keep funds separate from long-term investments
Regular Portfolio Review
Importance of Regular Reviews

Stay on Track:

Ensure investments align with goals
Adjust for Changes:

Modify portfolio based on life events
Market Conditions:

Adapt to economic changes
Annual Review with CFP

Professional Assessment:

Get expert advice on portfolio performance
Rebalancing:

Adjust asset allocation as needed
Goal Alignment:

Ensure investments support retirement and other goals
Final Insights
You have a strong financial foundation with diverse investments and clear goals. Buying a house, planning for retirement, and securing your child's future are well-structured objectives. Focusing on mutual funds, especially actively managed ones, will help you achieve higher returns. Investing through a Certified Financial Planner ensures professional guidance and effective portfolio management.

Balancing your investments between equity and debt, maintaining an emergency fund, and regularly reviewing your portfolio are key steps to a secure financial future. Protecting your family with adequate insurance and planning for your son's needs will provide peace of mind.

Stay disciplined with your investments and seek professional advice to navigate your financial journey successfully. Your proactive approach sets you on the path to achieving your financial aspirations.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in
DISCLAIMER: The content of this post by the expert is the personal view of the rediffGURU. Users are advised to pursue the information provided by the rediffGURU only as a source of information to be as a point of reference and to rely on their own judgement when making a decision.
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Dear Sir, My inhand salary is approx 1 Lac per month. My wife's salary in hand is 60k per month. We have a kid of 1 year now. Our goal is to create a corpus amount of 4Crores for Childs education and well being. Current investments are 1. Equities-20 Lacs, Mutual Funds Quant, parikh, sbi, 5 Lacs total. Ppf 10 Lacs, Nps 2 Lacs, My requirements are 1. Need amount of 4 Cr at 2040 2. Currently I need best Term plan to invest in with cover of 3Cr 3. Need to know best health insurance for any medical emergency with family cover of 25Lacs. 4. Need to Buy a Home of 1.5 Cr 2bhk for which I will be going for Home loan of minimum 60Lacs. 5. Risk appetite medium to high
Ans: Given your financial goals and risk appetite, here are some recommendations:

Investments:

Continue investing in equity through mutual funds for long-term wealth creation.
Consider increasing your equity exposure gradually, given your high risk tolerance.
Regularly review and rebalance your investment portfolio to ensure alignment with your goals and risk tolerance.
Term Insurance:

Look for reputable insurance providers offering term plans with coverage of at least 3 Crores.
Compare premiums, features, and claim settlement ratios before making a decision.
Consider opting for a policy with a rider for critical illness coverage for added protection.
Health Insurance:

Choose a comprehensive family health insurance plan with a coverage of 25 Lakhs.
Look for plans that offer coverage for hospitalization, pre-existing conditions, day care procedures, and maternity benefits.
Consider factors such as network hospitals, claim settlement process, and premium affordability.
Home Purchase:

Since you plan to buy a home worth 1.5 Crores and avail a home loan, ensure that the EMIs are comfortably manageable within your monthly budget.
Compare home loan offers from various banks and financial institutions to get the best interest rates and terms.
Factor in additional costs such as registration fees, stamp duty, and maintenance expenses while budgeting for the purchase.
Financial Planning:

Consult with a certified financial planner to create a comprehensive financial plan tailored to your specific goals, risk tolerance, and financial situation.
Regularly review your financial plan and make adjustments as needed based on changes in your circumstances or market conditions.
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Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Aug 13, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Jul 30, 2024Hindi
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I am 29 years old married male working in private sector with monthly income of 1lacs per month, currently I dont have any loans on me, I want to buy a house by the time I am 35 or 36 in NCR, secondly I want to invest for my childs future studies and marriage he is one year old now and lastly I want to retire by 55-56 with 5-7 cr in hand. Currently I have invested in one ULIP policy of hdfc life with 60000 as anual premium, I have term life insurance with 85000 as annual premium and cover of 2 cr till I am 85 years old. I have 2 sip runnings 3500 each one in mirae asset mutual fund and one in icici prudential blue chip fund, apart from these I have invested approx 5lacs in various equities as well which involve infosys, tata steel, tata motors, anand rathi wealth management, vodafone Idea, exide ind, jsw energy, rail tel, lic, sbi cards, bob, etc. along with all these investments I send approx 20k to my parents every month I want to know how and where should I invest further to achieve my goals of buying a house, my child's future and my retirement.
Ans: Assessing Your Current Financial Situation
You have a solid financial foundation. With a monthly income of Rs 1 lakh and no loans, you have ample opportunities to build wealth. Your investments in mutual funds, equities, and insurance are commendable. However, achieving your goals requires a more focused strategy.

Buying a House in NCR by Age 35-36
Down Payment Savings: Start a targeted savings plan. You’ll need around 20-30% of the property value for the down payment. Consider investing in a short-term debt mutual fund. This will provide stability and some growth over the next few years.

Avoid ULIPs for House Savings: ULIPs often have high charges and may not yield as much as a well-chosen mutual fund. Consider reallocating your ULIP investments to more suitable options.

Equity Diversification: Your current stock portfolio is diverse. However, for short-term goals like buying a house, reduce exposure to volatile stocks. Consider moving some funds to more stable, dividend-yielding stocks.

Planning for Your Child’s Future
Education Fund: Start a dedicated SIP in a child education-focused mutual fund. Actively managed funds have the potential for higher returns, which will help you build a significant corpus over time. Increase your SIP contributions as your income grows.

Marriage Fund: Start a parallel SIP for your child’s marriage. Since this is a long-term goal, allocate more towards equity funds, which tend to outperform other asset classes over the long term.

Review Insurance Needs: Your current term life insurance is adequate for now. However, as your family grows, you may need to reassess your coverage. Ensure your term plan adequately covers future education and marriage expenses.

Retirement Planning by Age 55-56
Corpus Target: To retire with Rs 5-7 crore, you need aggressive growth in your investments. Increase your SIP contributions in equity mutual funds. Actively managed funds can outperform index funds over the long term, especially in the Indian market.

Regular Contributions: Continue and gradually increase your SIPs as your income rises. The power of compounding will help you achieve your retirement goal.

Diversification: Diversify across different equity funds to reduce risk. Consider adding a balanced mutual fund to your portfolio for a mix of growth and stability.

Refining Your Current Investments
Review ULIP: The ULIP you’ve invested in may not be the best option for long-term growth. The charges involved are often high, and returns might not match those of mutual funds. Consider surrendering the ULIP and reallocating those funds into SIPs.

Mutual Fund Strategy: Your current SIPs in Mirae Asset and ICICI Prudential are good choices. However, considering your long-term goals, you might want to increase your SIP contributions or add more funds that align with your risk profile.

Stock Portfolio: Your equity investments are diverse. Ensure that you periodically review the performance of each stock. Stay updated on company performance, especially in volatile sectors like telecom.

Supporting Your Parents
Budget Allocation: Continue sending Rs 20,000 to your parents. This is a noble gesture and should be factored into your monthly budget. Ensure that this commitment doesn’t compromise your investment goals.

Emergency Fund: Keep an emergency fund aside for unexpected family needs. A portion of this can be in a liquid fund or a fixed deposit for quick access.

Final Insights
Reassess Insurance: Ensure that your term insurance adequately covers all future financial responsibilities. Avoid mixing insurance with investment. Term plans are cost-effective for pure life cover.

Avoid Real Estate as Investment: Focus on mutual funds and equity investments for long-term wealth creation. Real estate can be a high-cost, low-liquidity investment.

Work with a Certified Financial Planner: Regularly review and adjust your investment strategy with a Certified Financial Planner. They can help you stay on track to meet your goals.

Your financial goals are ambitious, but with a well-structured plan, they are achievable. Keep investing consistently and review your strategy regularly.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in

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Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Jul 31, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Jul 30, 2024Hindi
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I am 29 years old married male working in private sector with monthly income of 1lacs per month, currently I dont have any loans on me, I want to buy a house by the time I am 35 or 36 in NCR, secondly I want to invest for my childs future studies and marriage he is one year old now and lastly I want to retire by 55-56 with 5-7 cr in hand. Currently I have invested in one ULIP policy of hdfc life with 60000 as anual premium, I have term life insurance with 85000 as annual premium and cover of 2 cr till I am 85 years old. I have 2 sip runnings 3500 each one in mirae asset mutual fund and one in icici prudential blue chip fund, apart from these I have invested approx 5lacs in various equities as well which involve infosys, tata steel, tata motors, anand rathi wealth management, vodafone Idea, exide ind, jsw energy, rail tel, lic, sbi cards, bob, etc. along with all these investments I send approx 20k to my parents every month I want to know how and where should I invest further to achieve my goals of buying a house, my child's future and my retirement.
Ans: You have a stable income and no loans. This is a strong starting point.

Your goals include:

Buying a house in NCR by 35-36.
Investing for your child's future.
Retiring with Rs 5-7 crore by 55-56.
You have diversified investments in SIPs, ULIPs, equities, and term insurance.

Assessing Existing Investments
ULIP Policy
Annual Premium: Rs 60,000.
ULIPs: Often have high charges and lower returns compared to mutual funds.
Term Insurance
Annual Premium: Rs 85,000.
Coverage: Rs 2 crore till 85 years.
SIPs
Amount: Rs 3,500 each in two mutual funds.
Focus: One large-cap and one diversified fund.
Direct Equity
Total Investment: Approx Rs 5 lakh.
Stock Selection: Various sectors including tech, energy, and finance.
Family Support
Monthly Support: Rs 20,000 to parents.
Recommendations for Investment Strategy
Goal 1: Buying a House by 35-36
Time Frame: 6-7 years.
Suggested Investment: Increase SIP in equity mutual funds.
Action: Consider mid-cap and large-cap funds. These funds can offer higher returns over the medium term.
Savings Target: Save aggressively for down payment. Aim for at least 20% of the house value.
Goal 2: Child's Future Education and Marriage
Time Frame: 15-20 years.
Suggested Investment: Diversify into child-specific mutual funds and PPF.
Action: Increase SIP amounts gradually. Consider investing in balanced advantage funds for stability and growth.
Regular Contributions: Open a PPF account for long-term, risk-free returns.
Goal 3: Retirement Corpus of Rs 5-7 Crore
Time Frame: 26-27 years.
Suggested Investment: Focus on equity mutual funds for growth.
Action: Increase SIPs in diversified equity funds. Consider small-cap funds for higher returns.
Review Regularly: Assess and adjust your portfolio annually.
Consolidate Direct Equity Holdings
Current Holdings: Diverse but scattered.
Action: Sell underperforming stocks. Consolidate into strong, well-performing equities or mutual funds.
Focus: Shift towards equity mutual funds for professional management and diversification.
Optimizing Your Insurance and ULIP
Term Insurance
Keep It: Essential for financial security.
Review Coverage: Ensure it aligns with future needs.
ULIP Policy
Evaluate: High charges may lower net returns.
Action: Consider surrendering and redirecting premiums into mutual funds.
Investment Strategy for the Future
Increase Monthly SIPs
Current SIPs: Rs 7,000.
Suggested Increase: Gradually raise to Rs 20,000 over the next 2 years.
Diversify into Balanced Funds
Balanced Advantage Funds: Offer stability and growth.
Action: Allocate a portion of SIPs to balanced funds.
Emergency Fund
Current Situation: Ensure you have 6-12 months of expenses saved.
Action: Keep this in liquid funds or a high-interest savings account.
Family Support
Monthly Support: Rs 20,000.
Action: Ensure it fits within your budget. Adjust other investments if needed.
Final Insights
You have a solid foundation with diverse investments. Focus on increasing your SIPs, consolidating direct equities, and aligning investments with your goals. Review your portfolio regularly to stay on track.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in

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Ramalingam Kalirajan  |7014 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Aug 14, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Aug 14, 2024Hindi
Money
Sir, I am an employee of psu posted in Kolkata.My gross salary is around 75K/month.In hand is around 50K.I invest around 20K/mth through CPF+VPF & the balance is deducted as Income Tax,Union Fees etc.My age now is 34 . I want to buy a house/flat in Kolkata.I m going to get married next year.I want to build a corpus which can take care of my retirement & I can live a happy & peaceful life.Kindly advise..
Ans: Your desire to plan for a secure future is commendable. At the age of 34, you have ample time to build a robust financial foundation. Let’s explore strategies to help you achieve your goals of purchasing a home, planning for your marriage, and securing your retirement.

Assessing Your Current Financial Situation
Current Income: You earn a gross salary of Rs. 75,000 per month, with Rs. 50,000 in hand after deductions.

Current Investments: You are investing Rs. 20,000 per month in CPF and VPF. This is a good start toward retirement savings.

Tax Deductions: Income tax, union fees, and other deductions reduce your take-home salary. It’s essential to factor these in when planning your finances.

Prioritising Your Financial Goals
1. Buying a House/Flat in Kolkata
Budgeting for the Purchase: Determine the budget for your house or flat purchase. Consider the current real estate prices in Kolkata, your down payment capacity, and the loan amount you might require.

Home Loan Considerations: Evaluate the home loan options available. Aim to secure a loan with the lowest possible interest rate. Ensure that the EMI (Equated Monthly Installment) is affordable and does not exceed 40-50% of your monthly income.

Down Payment Savings: Start saving aggressively for the down payment. This will reduce the loan amount required and lower your EMIs.

Diversified Savings: While CPF and VPF are great for long-term savings, consider setting aside a separate corpus for your down payment. You can invest in short-term debt funds or recurring deposits for this purpose.

2. Planning for Marriage Expenses
Estimate Marriage Costs: Estimate the costs related to your marriage, including ceremonies, gifts, and honeymoon expenses.

Dedicated Savings for Marriage: Create a separate savings plan for your marriage. You can use a combination of liquid funds and short-term fixed deposits. This will ensure liquidity and safety of your funds.

3. Building a Retirement Corpus
Increase SIP Contributions: While CPF and VPF are stable, consider increasing your contributions to mutual fund SIPs. A diversified portfolio of actively managed funds can provide higher returns, essential for building a substantial retirement corpus.

Equity Investment for Long-Term Growth: Equity funds offer higher growth potential over the long term. They help in beating inflation, which is crucial for maintaining purchasing power during retirement.

Avoid Index Funds: Index funds merely track market indices and lack flexibility. Actively managed funds, on the other hand, allow fund managers to make informed decisions, potentially offering better returns.

Consider Regular Funds: Direct funds may seem attractive due to lower expenses, but regular funds offer the advantage of professional guidance. Investing through a Certified Financial Planner ensures that your investments are aligned with your financial goals.

Managing Expenses and Loans
1. Optimising Monthly Expenses
Budgeting: Create a monthly budget to track your income and expenses. Identify areas where you can reduce unnecessary spending.

Emergency Fund: Establish an emergency fund to cover 6-12 months of living expenses. This fund will protect you from unforeseen financial setbacks without disrupting your long-term goals.

2. Planning for a Home Loan
Loan Tenure and EMI: Choose a loan tenure that balances your EMI and the total interest paid over the loan period. A shorter tenure results in higher EMIs but saves on interest. A longer tenure reduces EMIs but increases interest costs.

Interest Rate Consideration: Opt for a loan with a fixed or reducing interest rate, whichever aligns with your risk tolerance and financial plan.

Investing for a Peaceful Retirement
1. Systematic Withdrawal Plan (SWP) for Post-Retirement Income
Steady Income Source: An SWP from mutual funds can provide a steady post-retirement income. It allows you to withdraw a fixed amount regularly while keeping your corpus invested.

Tax Efficiency: SWP is tax-efficient, especially if you invest in equity mutual funds. The capital gains tax on equity is relatively lower, which benefits your post-retirement income.

2. Balancing Risk and Return
Diversification: Ensure that your investments are diversified across different asset classes. This reduces risk and enhances the potential for returns.

Regular Review: Periodically review your investment portfolio to ensure it remains aligned with your risk profile and financial goals.

Avoid Annuities: While annuities provide a guaranteed income, they often come with lower returns and inflexibility. Mutual funds and SWPs offer better growth potential and flexibility.

Final Insights
Sir, you have laid a strong foundation for your financial future by starting early. Focus on balancing your short-term goals like purchasing a home and planning for marriage with your long-term retirement objectives. Increase your SIP contributions to benefit from the power of compounding over time. Carefully plan your home loan to ensure it fits within your budget without compromising your retirement savings.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in

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Latest Questions
Ravi

Ravi Mittal  |414 Answers  |Ask -

Dating, Relationships Expert - Answered on Nov 13, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Nov 04, 2024
Relationship
my gf was physical(intercourse) just for once with her ex and her ex cheated on her she just had a 2 month relationship with her ex. and after that around just after a month we came in relationship and its been 2 months we are in a relationship we both go to same college but due to house problem she doesn't attend classes basically we are in a long distance relationship and she still remember him and when she goes to places where she meet her ex she still have flashback She is not fully with me even when i just ask her for a normal kiss she refuses and tells me what so hurry but when i asked her does she want to stay with me she told me yes i want to stay with you and she is ready to marry me as well when time comes she even told me that timely she will have feelings for me And for me all this is new this is my first relationship what should i do?
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
Refusing for a kiss isn't as concerning as her saying she will have feelings for you. Not everyone is ready for intimacy at the same time in all their relationships. As I mentioned earlier, there can be several reasons for this behavior. Please have an open conversation with her. Let her know that her behavior is bothering you and you want some clarity. If she still continues to say the same thing, you have the option to rethink the relationship.

I understand that you are feeling disturbed; it's not easy being on the receiving end. Please feel free to pick yourself first. You deserve someone who loves you completely.

Best Wishes.

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Dating, Relationships Expert - Answered on Nov 13, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Nov 07, 2024Hindi
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Relationship
I am 28, will be engaged in 3-4 months. It's an arranged marriage. I have met the girl one time, that too she was accompanied with her parents as her family is very conservative. We spoke privately for about half an hour. I know it's still not enough but I was able to have a good conversation. She was nervous at first but I made her feel comfortable and it was then time well spent. She is a sweet girl, even my maa papa like this girl but on the other hand, I am also getting worried as the days are coming near. Sometimes I feel like postponing the event. Is this normal? I also fear of things that happens in nowadays like getting divorce, extra marital affairs, alimony etc. What if she finds a better partner after marriage? Will she leave me? Due to this I cannot have proper sleep recently. Any suggestions to calm my nerves?
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
Many people get cold feet before getting married. It is very normal. All your questions are valid but you need to understand that in every relationship, it all comes down to trust. Whether you marry this woman or someone else, you have to trust her. And no one can really tell what the future holds. So we focus on the present and hope for the best.

I suggest speaking to your would-be partner a little more in the meantime. Getting to know her will put these doubts to rest. I'm sure she is equally concerned about what kind of person you are. Moreover, it is always a good idea to get to know each other better before committing for a lifetime. And, in case, you still think you need to postpone the event, do not shy away from doing so. It is better to take some time and make the right decision than to make a wrong decision in a hurry.

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Hi sir , Iam male 27 years planning to reduce my current weight of 86KG hence planning to hit the gym. Iam concerned of abdominal fat. I left gym 3 yrs back when my weight was average 69kgs. However due to no physical activity weight increased. Now iam planning for reducing weight and also improve my strength with good muscular lean body not bulk. Please guide me sir thanks
Ans: It’s wonderful that you’re enthusiastic about getting back into the gym to work towards weight loss and a lean, toned physique! As a physiotherapist, I suggest scheduling regular check-ins with a physiotherapist to monitor your progress and make any necessary adjustments to your exercise routine. To effectively lose fat, particularly around the abdomen, while building muscle, try a balanced approach that incorporates both cardio and strength training. Start with 20-30 minutes of moderate-intensity cardio—like brisk walking, cycling, or jogging—three to five times per week to increase calorie burn. For strength training, focus on compound exercises such as squats, lunges, push-ups, and rows, with three sessions per week. Begin with lighter weights, increasing gradually as your strength builds, and focus on good form to develop lean muscle without bulk.

Including core exercises, like planks, Russian twists, and leg raises, will help to strengthen and tone your abdominal muscles; however, remember that fat loss from specific areas requires overall body fat reduction. A high-protein, balanced diet will be crucial for supporting muscle growth and managing hunger, so aim to reduce processed foods and sugars. Consistency is essential—maintain a regular exercise schedule, and ensure you have rest days for recovery. With dedication, you’ll see steady improvements over time. Best of luck, and don’t hesitate to reach out if you need further guidance!

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