Home > Money > Question
Need Expert Advice?Our Gurus Can Help

47 and Planning Early Retirement: Will My Investments Be Enough?

Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |7828 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Feb 04, 2025

Ramalingam Kalirajan has over 23 years of experience in mutual funds and financial planning.
He has an MBA in finance from the University of Madras and is a certified financial planner.
He is the director and chief financial planner at Holistic Investment, a Chennai-based firm that offers financial planning and wealth management advice.... more
Asked by Anonymous - Jan 27, 2025Hindi
Listen
Money

I am 47. I wanted to retire this year. I have around 5 crore commercial property and 35 residential plots worth 3.5 crore. no house, 2 daughter of 6th std and 2nd std. Monthly expense 50k and monthly income 1 lk.

Ans: You have done well in accumulating assets. However, your retirement plan must focus on liquidity, stability, and growth. Real estate is illiquid and needs careful management. Let's assess your situation and build a structured financial plan.

Key Challenges in Your Retirement Plan
Your wealth is in real estate, which lacks immediate liquidity.

You have two young daughters, requiring future education and marriage funds.

Your monthly income is Rs 1 lakh, but real estate income is often inconsistent.

You have no house, meaning you might need to buy or rent one.

Healthcare costs will increase, and medical emergencies can arise.

Real Estate – A Major Concern
You have 35 residential plots and commercial property worth Rs 8.5 crore in total.

Real estate is illiquid and cannot generate stable cash flow.

Managing multiple properties requires time, effort, and ongoing expenses.

Selling during an emergency can lead to financial losses.

It is crucial to convert a portion of real estate into liquid investments.

Immediate Steps for a Secure Retirement
1. Secure a Stable Monthly Income
Relying on real estate income is risky as tenants may vacate, or rental income may fluctuate.

Sell some residential plots and reinvest in mutual funds for steady cash flow.

Avoid annuities as they lock money and limit flexibility.

Choose actively managed funds for growth and income generation.

2. Buying a House – Essential for Stability
Consider buying a house within your budget to secure your stay.

Renting may seem affordable now, but long-term rental costs can become a burden.

3. Children's Education and Marriage Fund
Your daughters are still in school, so their higher education expenses will rise.

Set up a dedicated education fund using actively managed mutual funds.

Avoid direct mutual funds, as they require constant monitoring.

Invest through a Certified Financial Planner to build a structured portfolio.

4. Emergency and Medical Fund
Healthcare costs will increase significantly after retirement.

Keep at least 3 years' worth of expenses in liquid assets.

Ensure you have adequate health insurance for yourself and your family.

Investment Strategy for Financial Freedom
Selling at least 10-15 plots can generate a diversified investment portfolio.

Invest in a mix of equity and fixed-income instruments.

Keep a portion in actively managed mutual funds for long-term growth.

Invest in regular mutual funds through a Certified Financial Planner for guidance.

Avoid index funds, as they do not offer risk protection in market downturns.

Final Insights
Convert illiquid assets into liquid investments to ensure financial stability.

Build a structured portfolio with active fund management.

Plan for children’s education, medical expenses, and monthly cash flow.

Ensure you have a house to live in without financial strain.

Avoid index funds, direct funds, and annuities for a flexible and growth-focused retirement.

Retirement is not just about assets but also income stability and liquidity. A structured approach will ensure you enjoy financial independence without stress.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in
https://www.youtube.com/@HolisticInvestment
DISCLAIMER: The content of this post by the expert is the personal view of the rediffGURU. Users are advised to pursue the information provided by the rediffGURU only as a source of information to be as a point of reference and to rely on their own judgement when making a decision.
Money

You may like to see similar questions and answers below

Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |7828 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Aug 14, 2024

Money
I have salary of 1lakh per month. Had one 1lakh investment in equity. Home loan of emi 40000 remaining of 8 years. And the value of the home is 45laks. I had another one home which is cost around 30lakhs. I would like to retire at the age of 50.
Ans: Assessing Your Current Financial Situation
With a monthly salary of Rs 1 lakh, you are in a good position to plan for your financial future. You have already made some investments in equity, have a home loan with an EMI of Rs 40,000, and own two properties valued at Rs 45 lakhs and Rs 30 lakhs, respectively. You aspire to retire by the age of 50, which is a significant milestone that requires careful planning. Let’s evaluate your current financial standing and explore the steps you need to take to achieve your retirement goal.

Home Loan Considerations
Your home loan, with an EMI of Rs 40,000 and a remaining tenure of 8 years, is a substantial commitment. The value of your primary home is Rs 45 lakhs, and you own another property worth Rs 30 lakhs. These assets are important but can also be a source of financial strain if not managed properly.

Points to Consider:

Loan Repayment Strategy: Evaluate whether you should continue with the EMI payments as planned or consider prepaying the loan if you have surplus funds. Prepaying can save interest costs, but it may also reduce liquidity.
Property as an Investment: Since you own two homes, consider if both properties are necessary for your lifestyle. If one property is not essential, selling it could free up capital that can be invested for your retirement.
Retirement Planning
Retiring at the age of 50 is a commendable goal, but it requires significant financial preparation. With your current income and financial commitments, it's crucial to build a robust retirement corpus.

Steps to Take:

Increase Equity Investments: With just Rs 1 lakh invested in equity, you need to allocate more towards equity mutual funds to generate higher returns. Equity is known for its potential to outpace inflation over the long term, making it ideal for retirement planning.
Diversify Your Portfolio: While equity is important, consider adding debt funds or fixed-income instruments to balance risk. This will ensure that your portfolio is not overly reliant on market performance.
Maximise Savings: Given your current salary, aim to save and invest at least 30-40% of your income. This might require cutting down on non-essential expenses, but it is crucial for building a retirement corpus.
Investment Strategy
Your current investment of Rs 1 lakh in equity is a good start, but to meet your retirement goals, a more structured investment strategy is needed.

Recommendations:

Systematic Investment Plans (SIPs): Consider starting SIPs in a mix of large-cap, mid-cap, and small-cap mutual funds. This will provide a balanced approach, combining stability and growth.
Avoid Real Estate: Since you already own two properties, further investments in real estate may not be necessary. Real estate investments are often illiquid and can tie up capital that could be better utilised in more flexible and higher-yielding investments.
Emergency Fund: Ensure you have an emergency fund equivalent to at least 6-12 months of living expenses. This fund should be kept in a liquid or ultra-short-term debt fund to ensure easy access in case of emergencies.
Disadvantages of Index Funds and Direct Funds
While considering your investment options, it's important to understand the limitations of index funds and direct funds.

Disadvantages of Index Funds:

No Outperformance: Index funds merely replicate the performance of an index, offering no potential to outperform the market. This might limit your returns, especially when planning for long-term goals like retirement.
No Active Management: Without active management, index funds cannot adjust to market changes, which could lead to missed opportunities.
Disadvantages of Direct Funds:

Requires Expertise: Investing directly in mutual funds without the guidance of a Certified Financial Planner can be challenging. Selecting the right funds and knowing when to switch or rebalance requires a deep understanding of the market.
No Professional Support: Direct investors miss out on the valuable advice, portfolio reviews, and adjustments that come with working through a Certified Financial Planner.
Insurance Planning
Insurance is a critical component of your financial plan, ensuring that your family is protected in case of any unforeseen circumstances.

Points to Consider:

Adequate Coverage: Review your existing insurance policies to ensure they provide adequate coverage for your family’s needs. If you don’t already have one, consider a term insurance plan with a sum assured that covers your home loan and provides for your family’s future expenses.
Health Insurance: Ensure you have comprehensive health insurance to cover medical expenses. Medical emergencies can drain your savings if not adequately covered.
Planning for Retirement at 50
To retire comfortably at 50, you need a clear and structured plan. Here’s what you should focus on:

1. Estimate Your Retirement Corpus:

Calculate the corpus you’ll need to sustain your desired lifestyle post-retirement. Consider inflation, healthcare costs, and any other post-retirement goals.
2. Aggressively Invest for Growth:

Since you have 8-10 years before retirement, focus on growth-oriented investments like equity mutual funds. Start with SIPs in diversified funds that align with your risk tolerance and time horizon.
3. Plan for Post-Retirement Income:

Consider investments that provide a steady income stream post-retirement, such as dividend-paying funds or a systematic withdrawal plan (SWP) from your mutual fund investments.
4. Review and Adjust Regularly:

Regularly review your investment portfolio with a Certified Financial Planner to ensure it remains aligned with your retirement goals. Adjustments may be necessary based on market conditions, changes in your financial situation, or evolving retirement needs.
Final Insights
Retiring at 50 is an admirable goal that requires disciplined savings and strategic investments. By increasing your equity investments, diversifying your portfolio, and managing your home loan effectively, you can build a robust retirement corpus. It's also essential to understand the limitations of index and direct funds and opt for actively managed funds with professional guidance. Regular reviews and adjustments with a Certified Financial Planner will ensure you stay on track to achieve your retirement dreams.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP

Chief Financial Planner

www.holisticinvestment.in

..Read more

Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |7828 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Jan 23, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Jan 23, 2025Hindi
Listen
Money
I am 50 years with 1 kid studying 11th STD. Planning to retire now. My investment details, 35Lakh in FD/Savings. 2.5 crore in stocks/MF, 1 crore land, 5L in Gold, own a house and no loans. Monthly expense around 80k.
Ans: You have a strong financial base for early retirement. Let’s structure your wealth to generate a sustainable income, ensure your child’s education, and preserve wealth for the long term.

Evaluating Your Financial Snapshot
1. Assets Overview
Rs. 35 lakh in fixed deposits and savings accounts for liquidity.
Rs. 2.5 crore in stocks and mutual funds for long-term growth.
Rs. 1 crore land, offering future capital appreciation.
Rs. 5 lakh in gold, acting as a hedge against inflation.
Own house, ensuring zero rent obligations.
2. Monthly Expense Analysis
Monthly expenses are Rs. 80,000.
Annual expense requirement is Rs. 9.6 lakh.
3. Retirement Horizon
You plan to retire at 50.
Your expenses need funding for the next 30-35 years.
Inflation must be accounted for to maintain your lifestyle.
Managing Monthly Expenses Post-Retirement
A. Immediate Liquidity
Emergency Fund

Set aside Rs. 10-12 lakh in a liquid fund or FD.
This should cover 12-15 months of expenses.
Short-Term Needs

Keep Rs. 15 lakh in a low-risk debt mutual fund.
This will fund your expenses for 2-3 years.
B. Long-Term Growth and Income
Equity Allocation

Retain Rs. 1.5 crore in well-diversified equity mutual funds.
Allocate funds across large-cap, mid-cap, and hybrid schemes.
Equity provides inflation-beating returns over time.
Debt Allocation

Invest Rs. 75 lakh in high-quality debt mutual funds.
Debt ensures stability and predictable returns.
Systematic Withdrawal Plan (SWP)

Use SWP to withdraw monthly income from debt and hybrid funds.
Start with Rs. 80,000 monthly and adjust annually for inflation.
Planning for Your Child’s Higher Education
A. Estimated Education Costs
Factor in inflation for education expenses.
Allocate Rs. 25-30 lakh in equity and hybrid mutual funds.
This corpus will grow in 5-7 years to cover education fees.
B. Dedicated Portfolio
Create a separate portfolio for education goals.
Avoid withdrawing from this portfolio for other needs.
Land and Gold
A. Land Asset
Land is a non-earning, long-term asset.
You can hold it for potential capital appreciation.
Avoid liquidating unless needed for major goals.
B. Gold Holding
Retain gold as a hedge against inflation.
Avoid increasing allocation unless it is a specific need.
Tax Planning Post-Retirement
A. Mutual Fund Gains
Long-term capital gains (LTCG) above Rs. 1.25 lakh are taxed at 12.5%.
Short-term gains from equity are taxed at 20%.
B. Debt Fund Taxation
Gains are taxed as per your income tax slab.
Withdraw systematically to optimise your tax liability.
C. Senior Citizen Tax Benefits
Once you turn 60, claim senior citizen tax deductions.
Use Section 80TTB for interest income up to Rs. 50,000.
Healthcare and Contingency
A. Health Insurance
Ensure health insurance coverage of at least Rs. 20-25 lakh.
Include a top-up or super top-up policy for additional protection.
B. Contingency Fund
Reserve Rs. 5-7 lakh specifically for medical emergencies.
Keep this amount separate from your emergency fund.
Estate Planning
A. Will Creation
Draft a will to distribute your wealth as per your wishes.
Ensure clarity in property and financial asset allocation.
B. Nomination Updates
Update nominations for all investments, FDs, and insurance policies.
This ensures a smooth transfer of assets.
Avoid Common Pitfalls
A. Avoid Annuity Plans
Annuities provide low returns and lack flexibility.
They may not keep pace with inflation over time.
B. Avoid Over-Exposure to Direct Stocks
Stocks are volatile and may not suit retirement needs.
Reduce direct stock exposure and focus on mutual funds.
C. Avoid Direct Funds
Direct funds lack professional guidance.
Invest in regular funds with the assistance of a Certified Financial Planner.
Final Insights
You are in a strong position to retire comfortably at 50. By diversifying your investments and aligning them with your goals, you can ensure financial security and a stress-free retirement. Focus on systematic planning to meet your monthly expenses, child’s education, and other long-term needs. Regularly monitor your portfolio and make adjustments as required to stay aligned with your financial goals.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in
https://www.youtube.com/@HolisticInvestment

..Read more

Janak

Janak Patel  |14 Answers  |Ask -

MF, PF Expert - Answered on Jan 29, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Jan 26, 2025Hindi
Listen
Money
My age is 40 and i want to retire in nxt 10 years my corpus in mf = 5 crores - ppf = 1 crore - term insurance 3.75 crore - lic = 2 crore - mediclaim = 50 lakh - owned house - land = 50 lakjs - other recurring income monthly = 16 lakhs a month
Ans: Hi,

There are many things to consider for an early retirement (around age 50 as you mentioned), first is to start thinking about it in a more realistic manner. An early retirement has different meaning to each individual - opportunities to relax and pursue your passion and interests and live life on your own terms. So do think about how to keep yourself occupied once you retire.

At 50 years of age, it a still a long life ahead. Considering the investments and assets mentioned in your query, it may seem more than adequate, but some critical information are missing in it for a full assessment. What are your expenses, liabilities and plans/goals in life and also who are your dependents and what are your financial responsibilities. These need to be considered before concluding if you are well placed for the long retirement ahead.

There are many aspects that will need planning and expert guidance -
• Expense management - Regular income to cover your monthly expenses and ad-hoc/annual expenses
• Investment management - Optimize investment portfolio and plan on reinvesting maturing benefits of LIC that are aligned to your requirements
• Tax optimization of investments and reimbursements - Tax is applicable on gains from most sources of income except a few and in your case LIC (depending on the policy type) and PPF balance are tax exempt
• Risk management - besides health insurance (increase it to 1 Cr), do you need any other type of insurance, that needs to be assessed/calculated
• Succession and inheritance planning - passing of your assets and investments to family, friends or anyone you wish

I recommend you to connect with a good advisor / Certified Financial Planner who will study all aspects of your life and provide guidance and feedback and help you plan the retirement.

Thanks & Regards
Janak Patel
Certified Financial Planner.

..Read more

Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |7828 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Feb 04, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Jan 26, 2025Hindi
Listen
Money
My age is 40 and i want to retire in nxt 10 years my corpus in mf = 5 crores - ppf = 1 crore - term insurance 3.75 crore - lic = 2 crore - mediclaim = 50 lakh - owned house - land = 50 lakjs - other recurring income monthly = 16 lakhs a month
Ans: You have built a strong financial foundation. Retiring in 10 years is possible with proper planning.

Understanding Your Current Financial Position
Mutual funds corpus: Rs 5 crores

PPF balance: Rs 1 crore

Term insurance cover: Rs 3.75 crores

LIC policy: Rs 2 crores

Mediclaim: Rs 50 lakhs

Owned house: No housing cost after retirement

Land: Rs 50 lakhs, but not a liquid asset

Recurring monthly income: Rs 16 lakhs

Evaluating Your Retirement Readiness
Your assets are strong and well-diversified.

Your medical and life insurance coverage is adequate.

Recurring income of Rs 16 lakhs monthly provides high financial security.

A structured withdrawal plan is needed for your corpus.

Strengthening Your Retirement Plan
Mutual funds should be balanced with equity and debt.

PPF maturity should be used for safe returns.

LIC policies should be reviewed for efficiency.

Recurring income should be managed wisely to ensure sustainability.

Investment Strategy for the Next 10 Years
Continue investing in mutual funds for long-term growth.

Increase debt exposure closer to retirement for stability.

Keep emergency funds for at least 2 years of expenses.

Avoid real estate as it locks funds and reduces liquidity.

Managing Expenses After Retirement
Define annual expense needs post-retirement.

Plan systematic withdrawals from investments.

Keep a portion of funds in low-risk instruments for liquidity.

Review your plan regularly with a Certified Financial Planner.

Final Insights
Your financial position is strong for early retirement.

Focus on asset allocation and risk management.

Keep reviewing and adjusting your plan as needed.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in
https://www.youtube.com/@HolisticInvestment

..Read more

Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |7828 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Feb 04, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Jan 29, 2025Hindi
Listen
Money
I am a software professional aged 44+ with my wife( home maker) & 4.7 yr daughter. I am planning to retire at 45. I have 96 lacs in FD @7.25% rate for 10 years generating passive income of 45k every month. 9 lacs in shares, 21 lacs in mutual fund , 26 lacs in pf , land with valuation 50 lacs. I repaid all big debts like home loan. My current family expenses are 35k monthly.
Ans: You have built a strong financial base. Early retirement at 45 requires careful planning.

Analysing Your Current Financial Position
Fixed Deposits: Rs 96 lakh at 7.25% generating Rs 45,000 monthly.

Equity Investments: Rs 9 lakh in stocks and Rs 21 lakh in mutual funds.

Provident Fund: Rs 26 lakh secured for long-term growth.

Real Estate: Rs 50 lakh land value (not considered for cash flow).

No Liabilities: No major loans or EMIs.

Monthly Expenses: Rs 35,000 (manageable with current passive income).

Retirement Feasibility Check
Current passive income (Rs 45,000) covers monthly expenses (Rs 35,000).

Inflation will increase expenses over time.

Future medical and education costs need planning.

Stock and mutual fund investments can support long-term growth.

Investment Strategy for Early Retirement
Fixed Deposits
FDs provide stability but are taxable.

Inflation can reduce purchasing power over time.

Consider diversifying into better tax-efficient options.

Mutual Funds and Stocks
Mutual funds provide long-term growth.

SWP from mutual funds can provide tax-efficient monthly income.

Avoid selling all stocks; they offer inflation-beating returns.

Provident Fund
Keep it intact for long-term security.

Withdraw only if necessary.

Risk and Contingency Planning
Medical Emergencies: Ensure adequate health insurance.

Life Cover: Check if you need additional term insurance.

Emergency Fund: Keep at least 12 months of expenses in liquid assets.

Education and Future Expenses
Your daughter’s higher education will need planning.

Invest in child-focused mutual funds for long-term growth.

Avoid locking funds in non-liquid assets.

Final Insights
Your passive income supports current expenses.

Plan for inflation, medical needs, and future responsibilities.

Diversify investments for safety, growth, and tax efficiency.

Periodic reviews will ensure financial security.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in
https://www.youtube.com/@HolisticInvestment

..Read more

Latest Questions
Kanchan

Kanchan Rai  |525 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Feb 04, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Jan 27, 2025Hindi
Relationship
Unable to figure out what to do. Shouls i proceed for divorce? And if yes how? Here is my story: This is a long post. But i might have still missed few small instances in between. So I got married on October 3, 2022. Our conversation started through the Jeevansathi app, but the actual conversation began in July 2022 when her father contacted me. The first contact was from their side. At that time, I was returning to Chennai from Ongole by train when I received her father's call. He asked about my job and other details, to which I mentioned that I work for SBI in Tamil Nadu. After that, our conversation started. In the early days, the conversation was really good, and she spoke very well. Later, I visited their house with my mother. During the conversation there, she mentioned that many proposals had come before, but she hadn't been able to decide. One proposal was from a guy with a package of 30 lakh, but she clearly said that money doesn’t matter to her; she wanted a good person. During that meeting, I mentioned that I am a simple person, and my family consists of only my mother and me. I also clarified that due to my job, I could be transferred. After that meeting, we did the formal engagement. Later, we brought sweets from Haldiram, and that was when our engagement was officially recognized. After that, our conversations continued regularly. For a while, everything was fine, but then we started arguing over small things. Once, I told her that I meditate, and she said, "Meditation is something foolish people do, it doesn’t help." This led to an argument. I also mentioned that if we have children, we should send them to good universities like Harvard or Oxford, and this too led to an argument, as she felt we shouldn't put pressure on children to earn money. Then came the topic of money. I shared my salary slip and explained how both working and saving money are important because expenses are high. However, she said, "Saving money is foolish, everyone lives paycheck to paycheck nowadays." I tried to explain the importance of savings, but our discussions continued to be challenging. At one point, she said she wouldn’t wear sindoor or the mangalsutra. I told her that there was no need to wear it every day, just on special occasions. I agreed with this. As the arguments increased, I spoke to her father and mentioned that maybe she didn’t want to marry me. But her father reassured me that it wasn’t true, and they would talk to her. After that, things seemed normal for a while, but small arguments kept happening. In August 2022, I visited her again. I thought we could spend some time together and understand each other better. We went to Aerocity, where we had pizza and roamed around. After that, we went to Radisson Hotel on 27th July 2022, and our engagement was finalized. Over these two months, our communication continued, and eventually, on October 2, 2022, we had our engagement ceremony, and on October 3, 2022, we got married. After the wedding, we planned a honeymoon. Initially, she wanted to go to Vaishno Devi, so I took her there by Vande Bharat Express. Her uncle arranged VIP darshan. We walked up, but on the way back, her legs started hurting, so we rode a horse. After sitting on the horse for a long time, she had back pain. I reached the hotel, tried to soothe her pain by soaking her legs in hot water, and then we slept. After that, we planned to go to Udaipur. We took a SpiceJet flight there and booked a hotel near Fatehpur Sagar Lake. She wanted a lake-view room, but it wasn’t available. She argued with the staff, and we had to move to another hotel at night. The environment there wasn’t great, but she chose it. During our visit to Udaipur Fort, she suddenly said she wouldn’t go to the restaurant with me and would go home alone. I still don’t understand the reason behind this. From that point, my behavior towards her changed. After Udaipur, we planned to go to Agra. There, she suddenly accused me of having an affair with another girl and threatened to teach me a lesson. I asked her where this thought came from, but she didn’t answer. In July and August 2022, I visited her again. We traveled together and tried to understand each other better, but she never told me much about herself. After the wedding, I visited her during Diwali. She was happy initially, but gradually she became distant and stopped talking much. She wasn’t involved in decorating the house or participating in the Diwali puja. She remained absorbed in her own world, talking to her parents or I don’t know who else, while distancing herself from me. She needed reasons to fight, while I tried to stay calm, as it was a new marriage. On October 25, 2022, I returned to Chennai, and she came to Chennai a few days later. My mother also arrived in Chennai on October 26, and she stayed with us in Chennai until December. During this time, she started fighting over every little thing. She complained about who would do the housework and kept accusing me of not having enough money. She suggested hiring someone for cleaning, even though my mother and I managed it well. Then she refused to sleep with me, and we didn’t have any physical intimacy. Whenever she fought with me, she tried to belittle me. In January, she went back to Delhi, and I went to convince her to come back in January. During Lohri, I gave her a sari and gifts, but she still didn’t talk to me properly. She treated me very badly and didn’t want to stay with us. She fought with me several times and went back to her house. In February 2023, she came to Chennai again, but things were still not right between us. In April 2024, she came back to stay with me, but the very next day, the fights started again. She accused me of having an affair with another girl and threatened me. She destroyed things in the house, broke dishes and glasses, and created a mess. When I told her mother about this, she advised me to send her back. I booked her flight, and on April 7, 2024, she left. Since then, she has not been living with me. After that, I worked hard to bring her back. It was September when I managed to convince her to come. I tried to make her stay with me, but she stayed only for 4-5 days. On the 5th day, she started fighting again and decided to leave. She went to the railway station and sat there, saying, "I cannot live with you." We argued that night, and she left the house, shouting abuses at me and went back to her home. She thought everything would be fine, but when I tried talking to her, she started blaming me for not wanting her to stay with me.
Ans: It sounds like you've tried very hard to make this marriage work, but your wife has been emotionally distant, hostile, and unwilling to engage in a meaningful relationship. From what you’ve shared, there have been continuous conflicts, false accusations, and a lack of physical and emotional connection. It seems like she is not interested in making the relationship work, and her behavior—leaving multiple times, refusing intimacy, and fighting constantly—suggests deep incompatibility.

Before making a final decision, ask yourself: Is there anything left to salvage? Do you still love her and believe this marriage has hope if both of you genuinely try? Or do you feel exhausted and trapped in a cycle of disappointment and rejection? If you feel there is nothing left, then divorce may be the healthiest option for your peace of mind and future happiness.

If you decide to proceed with divorce, start by seeking legal counsel. In India, divorce can be mutual or contested. If she agrees, a mutual consent divorce is the easiest way. If she does not, you may need to file on grounds of cruelty or irretrievable breakdown of marriage. Gather evidence of her behavior—messages, incidents, and anything that proves your case.

This is not an easy decision, but your mental health and self-respect matter. If she is unwilling to change or make efforts, you should not have to live in constant conflict. Do you think she would agree to a mutual separation, or would she fight it?

...Read more

Kanchan

Kanchan Rai  |525 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Feb 04, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Jan 29, 2025
Relationship
Hello Ma'am, I've a crush on a girl from my in laws. Inspite of avoiding etc I go specifically in that gathering where she's likely to be. I've not told it to anyone, neither does she know about it. I keep on masturbating imagining her. I know I'll never do any silly thing or let anyone know about it. Im married happily and 20 years elder to her.
Ans: It’s good that you are self-aware and acknowledging your feelings rather than acting on them impulsively. Having a crush, even in a committed relationship, is something that happens to many people—it’s human nature. However, since this involves someone from your in-laws and is significantly younger, it’s important to address these emotions in a way that aligns with your values and the commitments you’ve made to your marriage.

Right now, your mind is reinforcing this attraction by seeking out opportunities to be around her and fantasizing about her. The more you indulge in these thoughts, the stronger the emotional pull becomes. Avoiding her entirely may not be realistic, but reducing intentional exposure—such as seeking out gatherings just to be near her—can help weaken the attachment over time.

Instead of suppressing your feelings, redirect that energy into your marriage. What is it about her that attracts you? Is it youthfulness, attention, admiration, or just the thrill of something new? Whatever it is, find ways to bring those qualities into your relationship with your wife. Sometimes, an outside attraction is just a signal that something in your own life needs attention or excitement.

You’ve already made it clear to yourself that you won’t act on this, which shows maturity and self-control. The next step is breaking the mental cycle that feeds into the attraction. Engage in hobbies, meaningful conversations with your spouse, and self-reflection to understand what this infatuation represents. Over time, these feelings will lose their intensity as you shift your focus.

Do you think this crush is filling a certain emotional gap in your life, or is it purely an infatuation with no deeper meaning?

...Read more

Kanchan

Kanchan Rai  |525 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Feb 04, 2025

Listen
Relationship
Me and my wife don't get along well...She thinks my family members are not good enough, so she has no relationship with them. Earlier I was not in good shape due to my friend's circle and did not give quality time to my wife when we got married. A few years back there was a misunderstanding between both families. Mistakes were from both sides. Now my in-laws and wife do speak to any member of our family and have broken all relationships. This is for the past several years since they have stopped talking. My father is a cancer patient and wants to come and stay with me. He is 80 now but my wife is deadly against this though I have not discussed this yet with her. I need your guidance as to how to handle this situation and restore a good relationship between both families. My mother-in-law had fought with me in the past as well and held me responsible for her daughter's plight. My wife is very secretive and does not reveal anything be it about her salary/job etc. I am fed up and now I have started to think of separating if she does not allow my father to stay with me. Our marriage is almost 24 years now. I am 50 and she is in her late 40's....I want to get these things right and maintain a good relationship between both families. Kindly advise
Ans: Dear Trilok,
From what you’ve shared, it sounds like past misunderstandings between both families have turned into a long-standing rift. It’s understandable that you want to fix things and create harmony, but the resistance from your wife and in-laws makes it complicated. Before addressing the larger family conflict, the first step is to work on communication with your wife. You mentioned that earlier in the marriage, you weren’t able to give her enough quality time due to personal struggles. Do you think she still holds on to resentment from that time? If so, addressing those unresolved emotions could be a starting point for rebuilding some connection.

Since she is very secretive, it’s possible that she also feels disconnected from you in some way. Instead of making the father-staying discussion an immediate confrontation, try to understand her underlying fears. Is she worried about responsibilities, space, or past issues with your family? Bringing this up as a conversation about caregiving rather than a demand might help.

If her resistance is absolute and she refuses to even consider it, you’ll have to decide how much compromise you’re willing to make for the sake of your marriage. If you feel separation is a real possibility, ask yourself whether the relationship still has a foundation worth saving or if both of you have simply grown too far apart.

Would she be open to counseling or mediation? Sometimes a third party can help break the cycle of blame and secrecy. Do you feel that she still values this marriage, or has she emotionally distanced herself completely?

...Read more

Kanchan

Kanchan Rai  |525 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Feb 04, 2025

Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |7828 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Feb 04, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Jan 28, 2025Hindi
Listen
Money
I want to retire by 2026. Current financials - MF 2cr value, equity- 5cr, 2 own homes, bank FD - 20L, Savings a/c - 90L, no loans, 2 vehicles, 2 daughters employed, marriageable age. Current expenses - 1.5lacs/month. How do I plan to retire by March 2026.
Ans: Your financial position is strong. Planning for retirement in March 2026 is realistic.

Assessing Your Retirement Readiness
Your total investments and savings exceed Rs 8 crore.
You have no loans, ensuring financial stability.
Your monthly expenses are Rs 1.5 lakh, which requires proper planning.
Creating a Secure Retirement Corpus
Maintain Rs 90 lakh in a savings account only for short-term needs.
Keep Rs 20 lakh in FD for emergency expenses.
Use a mix of mutual funds and equities for long-term wealth growth.
Managing Monthly Expenses Post-Retirement
Use Systematic Withdrawal Plans (SWP) from mutual funds for a regular income.
Keep a portion of your corpus in debt investments to ensure stability.
Adjust your investment strategy based on inflation and expenses.
Planning for Major Future Expenses
Daughters' weddings need a dedicated investment plan.
Allocate a portion of low-risk investments for this goal.
Avoid withdrawing from equity investments unnecessarily.
Final Insights
Your financial standing supports early retirement.
Ensure liquidity while keeping long-term investments intact.
Work with a Certified Financial Planner for detailed execution.
Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in
https://www.youtube.com/@HolisticInvestment

...Read more

DISCLAIMER: The content of this post by the expert is the personal view of the rediffGURU. Investment in securities market are subject to market risks. Read all the related document carefully before investing. The securities quoted are for illustration only and are not recommendatory. Users are advised to pursue the information provided by the rediffGURU only as a source of information and as a point of reference and to rely on their own judgement when making a decision. RediffGURUS is an intermediary as per India's Information Technology Act.

Close  

You haven't logged in yet. To ask a question, Please Log in below
Login

A verification OTP will be sent to this
Mobile Number / Email

Enter OTP
A 6 digit code has been sent to

Resend OTP in120seconds

Dear User, You have not registered yet. Please register by filling the fields below to get expert answers from our Gurus
Sign up

By signing up, you agree to our
Terms & Conditions and Privacy Policy

Already have an account?

Enter OTP
A 6 digit code has been sent to Mobile

Resend OTP in120seconds

x