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Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |7337 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on May 05, 2024

Ramalingam Kalirajan has over 23 years of experience in mutual funds and financial planning.
He has an MBA in finance from the University of Madras and is a certified financial planner.
He is the director and chief financial planner at Holistic Investment, a Chennai-based firm that offers financial planning and wealth management advice.... more
Asked by Anonymous - May 05, 2024Hindi
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Hi.......I am 45 years old. I am making following investments in Mutual Funds:- I have house of my own, with no liability. I have a investment horizon of 15 years, with high risk taking capacity. I am looking for a retirement corpus of 3-4 crores. I am making following investments in Mutual Funds:- UTI Nifty 50 Index Fund Direct Growth 12000 Tata Small Cap Fund Direct - Growth 4000 SBI Contra Direct Plan Growth 5000 Nippon India Growth Fund Direct- Growth 6000 Quant Small Cap Fund 4000 Nippon India Small Cap Fund 5000 ICICI Prudential Bluechip Fund Direct-Growth 9000 Mahindra Manulife Multi Cap Fund - Direct Plan - Growth 5000 Parag Parikh Flexi Cap Fund 5000 SBI Large & Midcap Fund Direct Plan-Growth 5000 TOTAL 60000 Please analyse the portfolio and advice accordingly.

Ans: Your portfolio reflects a diversified mix of mutual funds across various categories, indicating a thoughtful approach to long-term wealth accumulation. Here's an analysis and some suggestions to consider:

Diversification:
Your portfolio includes funds from different market segments such as large-cap, mid-cap, small-cap, multi-cap, and index funds, providing diversification benefits and exposure to various sectors and themes.
Diversification helps spread risk and can potentially enhance overall returns over the long term.
Index Fund:
UTI Nifty 50 Index Fund offers exposure to the top 50 companies in the Indian equity market, providing stability and consistent returns over time.
Index funds are suitable for investors seeking low-cost, passive investment options that track market performance.
Small and Mid Cap Funds:
Tata Small Cap Fund and Nippon India Small Cap Fund invest in small and mid-cap companies with high growth potential.
While these funds can offer attractive returns, they come with higher volatility and risk. Ensure they align with your risk tolerance and investment horizon.
Contra Fund and Flexi Cap Fund:
SBI Contra Fund and Parag Parikh Flexi Cap Fund follow contrarian or flexible investment approaches, investing across market caps based on market conditions and valuation metrics.
These funds provide flexibility and active management, potentially outperforming benchmark indices over the long term.
Large Cap and Multi Cap Funds:
ICICI Prudential Bluechip Fund, Mahindra Manulife Multi Cap Fund, and SBI Large & Midcap Fund offer exposure to established large-cap and multi-cap companies.
These funds focus on quality stocks with strong fundamentals, providing stability and growth opportunities.
Professional Guidance and Direct Plans:
Instead of investing in direct plans, consider seeking guidance from a Certified Financial Planner or Mutual Fund Distributor (MFD) to optimize your investment decisions.
MFDs can provide personalized advice, portfolio reviews, and ongoing support to help you achieve your financial goals effectively.
Regularly review your portfolio with your MFD to ensure it remains aligned with your objectives and market conditions.
Risk Management:
Given your high-risk tolerance and long investment horizon, it's important to periodically assess and rebalance your portfolio to manage risk and capitalize on growth opportunities.
Stay informed about market developments and macroeconomic trends to make informed investment decisions.
Overall, your portfolio demonstrates a well-diversified approach to long-term wealth creation. Consider leveraging professional guidance from an MFD to optimize your investment strategy and achieve your retirement goals effectively. Regular monitoring and adjustments will be key to maintaining the performance and alignment of your portfolio over time.
DISCLAIMER: The content of this post by the expert is the personal view of the rediffGURU. Users are advised to pursue the information provided by the rediffGURU only as a source of information to be as a point of reference and to rely on their own judgement when making a decision.
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Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |7337 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on May 30, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Dec 28, 2023Hindi
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Hi Dev, i am looking to build a retirement corpus of around 10 cr. and have started investing from the last few months in mutual funds. My age is 41 years and looking to retire by 60. I am doing a monthly SIP of about 80k in the below mutual funds and aim to step up at 10% every year: 1. Hdfc flexi cap - 15k 2. Parag Parekh flexi cap - 15k. 3. Nippon india large cap fund - 10k 4. Nippon india growth fund - 10k 5. SBI magnum mid cap fund - 5k 6. Hdfc micap oppurtunities fund - 5k 7. Nippon india small cap fund - 20k I have a moderate to high risk appetite with an investment horizon of about 20 yrs. Please advise if my investments are in the correct funds or if any changes are needed. Thanks
Ans: Constructing a Robust Mutual Fund Portfolio for Retirement Planning

Assessment of Current Portfolio:

Your investment strategy reflects a proactive approach towards building a substantial retirement corpus. Diversifying across different mutual fund categories is a prudent move considering your moderate to high risk appetite.

Evaluation of Fund Selection:

Flexi Cap Funds:

HDFC Flexi Cap and Parag Parikh Flexi Cap are suitable choices offering flexibility to invest across market capitalizations.
These funds capitalize on growth opportunities across sectors, enhancing portfolio diversification.
Large Cap Funds:

Nippon India Large Cap Fund provides exposure to well-established companies with stable growth prospects.
It adds stability to your portfolio while capturing potential gains from large-cap stocks.
Growth Funds:

Nippon India Growth Fund focuses on companies with strong growth potential across sectors and market capitalizations.
It complements your investment strategy by targeting capital appreciation over the long term.
Mid and Small Cap Funds:

SBI Magnum Mid Cap Fund, HDFC Mid Cap Opportunities Fund, and Nippon India Small Cap Fund offer exposure to mid and small-cap segments.
These funds have the potential to deliver higher returns but come with higher volatility, suitable for your risk appetite and long investment horizon.
Assessing Investment Strategy:

SIP Amount and Step-up Approach:

Your current SIP allocation of Rs. 80,000 is substantial and aligns well with your goal of building a retirement corpus of Rs. 10 crore.
Implementing a step-up approach at 10% annually enhances your savings rate, accelerating wealth accumulation over time.
Investment Horizon and Risk Appetite:

With a moderate to high risk appetite and a 20-year investment horizon, your portfolio is appropriately positioned to withstand market volatility and capitalize on long-term growth opportunities.
Regular monitoring and periodic rebalancing will ensure alignment with your changing financial goals and risk tolerance.
Recommendations for Portfolio Optimization:

Review and Rebalance:

Periodically review your portfolio's performance and rebalance asset allocation based on changing market conditions and investment objectives.
Consider increasing exposure to sectors or funds showing promising growth prospects while reducing allocation to underperforming segments.
Continued Diversification:

Explore opportunities to further diversify your portfolio by adding exposure to thematic funds or sectors showing strong growth potential.
Maintain a balanced mix of equity funds across market capitalizations to mitigate concentration risk.
Conclusion:

Your investment strategy demonstrates a proactive approach towards achieving your retirement goal. By diversifying across mutual fund categories and implementing a systematic investment plan with a step-up approach, you are well-positioned to accumulate a substantial corpus over the next two decades.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in

..Read more

Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |7337 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on May 20, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - May 12, 2024Hindi
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Hi.......I am 45 years old. I have house of my own, with no liability. I have a investment horizon of 15 years, with high risk taking capacity. I am looking for a retirement corpus of 3-4 crores. I am making following investments in Mutual Funds:- Please analyse the portfolio and advice accordingly. UTI Nifty 50 Index Fund Direct Growth 12000 Tata Small Cap Fund Direct - Growth 4000 SBI Contra Direct Plan Growth 5000 Nippon India Growth Fund Direct- Growth 6000 Quant Small Cap Fund 4000 Nippon India Small Cap Fund 5000 ICICI Prudential Bluechip Fund Direct-Growth 9000 Mahindra Manulife Multi Cap Fund - Direct Plan - Growth 5000 Parag Parikh Flexi Cap Fund 5000 SBI Large & Midcap Fund Direct Plan-Growth 5000 TOTAL 60000
Ans: Optimizing Mutual Fund Portfolio for Retirement
Greetings! It's fantastic to see your proactive approach to retirement planning and your willingness to take on high-risk investments. Let's analyze your mutual fund portfolio and provide guidance accordingly.

Acknowledging Retirement Goals
Your commitment to building a substantial retirement corpus is commendable, and your risk appetite aligns well with your investment horizon.

I understand the importance of securing a comfortable retirement and the need for strategic investment decisions to achieve your financial goals.

Assessing Mutual Fund Portfolio
Diversification: Your portfolio encompasses a diverse range of funds across different market segments, providing potential for higher returns.
High-Risk Investments: Your willingness to invest in small-cap and contra funds reflects your risk appetite and growth-oriented approach.
Disadvantages of Index Funds: While index funds offer low expense ratios, they lack the potential for outperformance compared to actively managed funds, limiting growth potential.
Benefits of Actively Managed Funds
Potential for Higher Returns: Actively managed funds have the flexibility to capitalize on market opportunities and deliver superior returns over the long term.
Risk Management: Skilled fund managers actively manage the portfolio, making adjustments to mitigate risks and optimize returns.
Portfolio Optimization Recommendations
Review Fund Performance: Regularly review the performance of each fund to ensure they align with your investment objectives and risk tolerance.
Consider Consolidation: Evaluate the need to consolidate funds with overlapping objectives to streamline your portfolio and potentially reduce expenses.
Stay Informed: Stay updated on market trends and economic developments to make informed investment decisions and capitalize on opportunities.
Conclusion
By optimizing your mutual fund portfolio to align with your retirement goals and risk appetite, you can enhance the potential for achieving your target corpus of 3-4 crores over the next 15 years.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in

..Read more

Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |7337 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on May 21, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - May 16, 2024Hindi
Money
Hi.......I am 45 years old. I have house of my own, with no liability. I have a investment horizon of 15 years, with high risk taking capacity. I am looking for a retirement corpus of 3-4 crores. I am making following investments in Mutual Funds:- Please analyse the portfolio and advice accordingly. UTI Nifty 50 Index Fund Direct Growth 12000 Tata Small Cap Fund Direct - Growth 4000 SBI Contra Direct Plan Growth 5000 Nippon India Growth Fund Direct- Growth 6000 Quant Small Cap Fund 4000 Nippon India Small Cap Fund 5000 ICICI Prudential Bluechip Fund Direct-Growth 9000 Mahindra Manulife Multi Cap Fund - Direct Plan - Growth 5000 Parag Parikh Flexi Cap Fund 5000 SBI Large & Midcap Fund Direct Plan-Growth 5000 TOTAL 60000
Ans: It's wonderful to see your proactive approach towards securing your retirement. At 45, with a clear investment horizon of 15 years and a high-risk tolerance, you're well-positioned to build a robust portfolio that can help you achieve your goal of a 3-4 crore retirement corpus. Let's delve into analyzing your current mutual fund portfolio and provide tailored advice to optimize your investments.

Commendable Initiative

Firstly, kudos on recognizing the importance of retirement planning and taking proactive steps towards building your corpus. Your commitment to investing in mutual funds demonstrates a forward-thinking approach to securing your financial future.

Analyzing Your Portfolio

Let's evaluate each component of your mutual fund portfolio to ensure alignment with your long-term financial goals:

UTI Nifty 50 Index Fund Direct Growth (12,000): While index funds offer low expense ratios and broad market exposure, they lack the potential for outperformance compared to actively managed funds. Consider diversifying into actively managed funds for potential alpha generation.

Tata Small Cap Fund Direct - Growth (4,000): Small-cap funds can be volatile but offer high growth potential over the long term. Given your high-risk tolerance and long investment horizon, maintaining exposure to small-cap stocks is prudent.

SBI Contra Direct Plan Growth (5,000): Contra funds invest in out-of-favor sectors or stocks with the potential for a turnaround. While they can offer value opportunities, ensure sufficient diversification to mitigate risks associated with contrarian investing.

Nippon India Growth Fund Direct- Growth (6,000): Growth-oriented funds focus on companies with high growth potential. Given your long-term horizon, growth funds can help maximize returns by capitalizing on compounding over time.

Quant Small Cap Fund (4,000): Small-cap funds offer exposure to high-growth potential companies, albeit with higher volatility. Monitor the fund's performance and consider rebalancing if necessary to maintain optimal risk-return balance.

Nippon India Small Cap Fund (5,000): Similar to the Tata Small Cap Fund, this investment provides exposure to the small-cap segment. Given the risk associated with small caps, ensure diversification across market caps to manage overall portfolio risk.

ICICI Prudential Bluechip Fund Direct-Growth (9,000): Bluechip funds invest in large-cap stocks with strong fundamentals and stable performance. While offering stability, ensure diversification across market segments for optimal risk management.

Mahindra Manulife Multi Cap Fund - Direct Plan - Growth (5,000): Multi-cap funds provide flexibility to invest across market capitalizations based on prevailing market conditions. They offer diversification benefits and adaptability to changing market dynamics.

Parag Parikh Flexi Cap Fund (5,000): Flexi-cap funds have the flexibility to invest across market segments based on the fund manager's discretion. They offer diversification benefits and adaptability to varying market conditions.

SBI Large & Midcap Fund Direct Plan-Growth (5,000): Large & mid-cap funds provide exposure to both large and mid-cap stocks, offering a balanced approach to growth and stability. Monitor the fund's performance relative to its benchmark and peers.

Optimizing Your Portfolio

Diversification: While your portfolio exhibits diversification across market segments, ensure adequate diversification within each category to mitigate concentration risk.

Regular Review: Conduct periodic reviews of your portfolio's performance and rebalance if necessary to maintain alignment with your investment goals and risk tolerance.
Disadvantages of Direct Funds

Direct funds require investors to independently research, select, and manage their investment portfolios, which can be time-consuming and challenging, especially for novice investors. Lack of professional guidance may lead to suboptimal investment decisions.

Benefits of Regular Funds Investing through MFD with CFP Credential

Investing through a Certified Financial Planner (CFP) credentialled Mutual Fund Distributor (MFD) offers several benefits:

Personalized Advice: A CFP-certified MFD provides tailored investment advice based on your financial goals, risk appetite, and investment horizon, ensuring your portfolio aligns with your objectives.

Diverse Fund Selection: MFDs offer access to a wide range of mutual funds across asset classes and fund categories, enabling you to build a well-diversified portfolio suited to your needs.

Final Words

By optimizing your mutual fund portfolio based on the principles of diversification, risk management, and periodic review, you can enhance the probability of achieving your retirement goal of a 3-4 crore corpus. Stay committed to your investment strategy and seek professional guidance when needed to navigate market fluctuations effectively.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in

..Read more

Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |7337 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Jun 01, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Jun 01, 2024Hindi
Money
Hi.......I am 45 years old. I have house of my own, with no liability. I have a investment horizon of 15 years, with high risk taking capacity. I am looking for a retirement corpus of 3-4 crores. I am making following investments in Mutual Funds:- Please analyse the portfolio and advice accordingly. UTI Nifty 50 Index Fund Direct Growth 12000 Tata Small Cap Fund Direct - Growth 4000 SBI Contra Direct Plan Growth 5000 Nippon India Growth Fund Direct- Growth 6000 Quant Small Cap Fund 4000 Nippon India Small Cap Fund 5000 ICICI Prudential Bluechip Fund Direct-Growth 9000 Mahindra Manulife Multi Cap Fund - Direct Plan - Growth 5000 Parag Parikh Flexi Cap Fund 5000 SBI Large & Midcap Fund Direct Plan-Growth 5000 TOTAL 60000
Ans: Investment Portfolio Analysis and Advice

Understanding Your Investment Horizon and Risk Appetite
You are 45 years old with a 15-year investment horizon until retirement.

Your high-risk appetite is suitable for potentially high-return investments.

Aiming for a retirement corpus of Rs 3-4 crores is achievable with strategic planning.

Current Portfolio Overview
Your portfolio consists of a mix of large-cap, mid-cap, small-cap, multi-cap, and flexi-cap funds.

The monthly investment of Rs 60,000 is well-distributed across various funds, providing diversification.

Diversification and Risk Management
Diversification reduces risk by spreading investments across different asset classes.

Your portfolio includes a variety of funds, which is good for managing risk and enhancing returns.

However, having multiple small-cap funds can increase risk due to their volatile nature.

Active vs. Index Funds
You have invested in an index fund. While index funds track market indices, they lack the potential for outperformance.

Index funds simply replicate the market, offering average returns, which may not be enough to meet your high-return expectations.

Actively managed funds have the potential to outperform the market through expert management and stock selection.

Certified Financial Planners often recommend actively managed funds for their flexibility and higher return potential.

Actively managed funds can adapt to market changes, making them suitable for high-risk, high-return strategies.

Direct vs. Regular Funds
Direct funds may have lower expense ratios but lack professional guidance.

Investing through a Mutual Fund Distributor (MFD) with a Certified Financial Planner (CFP) credential can offer valuable advice and portfolio management.

Professional guidance helps navigate market volatility and aligns investments with financial goals.

Regular funds, through an MFD and CFP, provide personalized advice, ensuring your investments remain on track.

Fund Performance and Allocation
Assessing the performance of each fund in your portfolio is crucial.

Evaluate historical returns, fund manager expertise, and consistency in performance.

Consider reallocating investments from underperforming funds to those with a proven track record.

A Certified Financial Planner can assist in analyzing fund performance and making informed decisions.

Sector and Market Capitalization Allocation
Ensure a balanced allocation across different market capitalizations – large-cap, mid-cap, and small-cap.

Large-cap funds offer stability, mid-cap funds provide growth potential, and small-cap funds bring high returns with high risk.

Balance your portfolio to mitigate risk and maximize returns.

Certified Financial Planners can help create a balanced portfolio tailored to your risk appetite and financial goals.

Regular Portfolio Review
Regularly review your portfolio to ensure it aligns with your financial goals.

Market conditions change, and periodic reviews help in making necessary adjustments.

Consult with a Certified Financial Planner for professional insights and adjustments.

Regular reviews with a CFP can optimize your portfolio and ensure it adapts to market changes.

Retirement Planning and Future Projections
Calculate the future value of your current investments considering an average return rate.

Evaluate if the projected corpus meets your retirement goal of Rs 3-4 crores.

Adjust your investment strategy if necessary to stay on track with your goals.

A Certified Financial Planner can help project future values and adjust strategies to meet your retirement goals.

Tax Efficiency and Expense Management
Consider the tax implications of your investments to maximize post-tax returns.

Evaluate the expense ratios of your funds, as high expenses can erode returns over time.

Opt for tax-efficient investment options and monitor fund expenses regularly.

Consulting with a CFP ensures you choose tax-efficient investments and manage expenses effectively.

Conclusion
Your portfolio is well-diversified and aligned with your high-risk appetite.

Focus on the performance of actively managed funds and consider professional guidance.

Regular reviews and adjustments will help you achieve your retirement corpus goal.

Consulting with a Certified Financial Planner ensures personalized advice, helping you stay on track and adapt to changes.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in

..Read more

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Pushpa R  |37 Answers  |Ask -

Yoga, Mindfulness Expert - Answered on Dec 27, 2024

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I HAVE CONSTIPACATION PROBLEM WICH AASAN RELIVE FROM THIS PROBLEM
Ans: Constipation can be uncomfortable, but yoga is an excellent way to stimulate digestion and relieve this issue. Here are some simple asanas you can try regularly to help improve bowel movements:

1. Pavanamuktasana (Wind-Relieving Pose)
Lie on your back and bring one knee to your chest, holding it with your hands.
Press your knee gently into your abdomen while keeping the other leg straight.
Switch legs and repeat, or do both knees together.
This pose massages your abdominal organs and promotes digestion.
2. Marjaryasana-Bitilasana (Cat-Cow Pose)
Begin on all fours.
As you inhale, arch your back (Cow Pose) and look up.
As you exhale, round your back (Cat Pose) and tuck your chin to your chest.
Repeat slowly for 8-10 breaths to massage your digestive organs and improve gut motility.
3. Malasana (Garland Pose)
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Sit with your legs straight and bend forward from your hips, reaching for your toes.
This stretches the abdominal area and stimulates digestion.
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Drink plenty of water and include fiber-rich foods in your diet.
Practice these poses daily, but avoid forcing your body into any position.
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R. Pushpa, M.Sc (Yoga)
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Radiant YogaVibes
https://www.instagram.com/pushpa_radiantyogavibes/

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Ravi

Ravi Mittal  |475 Answers  |Ask -

Dating, Relationships Expert - Answered on Dec 26, 2024

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I am talking to a boy for arranged marriage. He said me that come to Bangalore you will have a good career. But he is also asking me if I can leave my job if I have got some responsibility in life to which I said yes. Then I said that I prefer own cooked food over cook cooked food. Then he asked me if I can cook for 2 people to which I said that I will have to look if I can do. He seems to be supportive when he talks on phone. Is he brain washing me, should I say yes or no. Is he a red flag. What should I do.
Ans: Dear Moumita,
It isn't fair to label someone as a red flag over a few days of conversation; seeing women take up responsibilities of home and disregard their own career or needs might be what he has seen growing up and it's not him being a red flag intentionally. A lot has to do with upbringing. What I can suggest with confidence is that if you love having your own job, and your own financial independence then please be vocal about it. Just because he is asking you to leave your job doesn't mean you have to do it- you are only in the talking phase. You are not married yet. You have ample time to rethink your choice. Cooking and housework shouldn’t just be your responsibility, just like earning and providing shouldn’t only be his. It’s about sharing the load equally. Having said that, I should also mention that every relationship is different, and each couple finds their own way of balancing things. Ultimately, everything boils down to what you are comfortable with- please take some time to figure that out and only then decide whether or not to take this relationship ahead.

Hope this helps.

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Kanchan Rai  |447 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Dec 26, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Dec 25, 2024
Relationship
Hi, My GF of last 2.5 years gets attracted to men very often and shares her feelings with me as well. She developed feelings for a guy a year back and he kissed her once when they were drunk. She said she didn't had time to react and Later they had a talk, she informed me that they chose to be friends, she doesn't seems to in talking terms any more with him. She talks to lot of male friends who she claims are from LGBTQ community which I doubt whether all are or not. I always say she has the freedom to move on any given day but she can't cheat but she doesn't think getting attracted to multiple men and acting on it as cheating . She says, she is free spirited and she is ok even if I visit a prostitute house. She is in her early 30s. She had a crush another guy on insta and said she will definitely try him if he wasn't lot younger than her but later said he is her best friend and she is in constant touch. Lately, she says vibe doesn't match and have problem saying I am her BF. I tried to move on from relationship 2-3 times because of her above traits and now stopped talking since few days. She had both mental and medical issues. Can I trust her and will she have any mental issues again?
Ans: While it’s commendable that she is honest about her feelings and gives you the freedom to make your choices, it’s equally important to consider whether her values and actions align with what you need in a partner. Relationships thrive when there’s mutual respect, understanding, and agreement on boundaries. If her actions or mindset make you feel undervalued or emotionally unsafe, it’s crucial to reflect on whether this relationship is truly serving your well-being.

The fact that you’ve tried to move on multiple times suggests that there is a deeper discomfort within you about the dynamics between you two. Trust is not just about fidelity; it’s about emotional safety, reliability, and mutual respect. If her behavior consistently makes you question her commitment or your place in her life, that erosion of trust can become difficult to rebuild.

As for her mental and medical challenges, it’s important to approach those with empathy, but also with a clear understanding that you cannot "fix" or "heal" someone unless they are actively seeking and working toward their own well-being. If she has not addressed her mental health or continues behaviors that affect the relationship without taking responsibility, it can lead to ongoing strain for you. Her mental health challenges are not excuses for harmful behavior, nor should they become reasons for you to sacrifice your own emotional health.

You’ve already shown patience and willingness to work through these challenges, but the repeated cycles of doubt and frustration may be a sign that the relationship is taking more from you than it’s giving. Ask yourself if you feel supported, valued, and emotionally safe in this partnership. Relationships should bring out the best in you and your partner, not leave you questioning your worth or constantly trying to accommodate behavior that feels unfair.

Taking a step back, as you’ve done now, can give you the clarity to evaluate what you truly want and need in a relationship. If trust feels irreparably broken or if her behaviors and values are fundamentally misaligned with yours, it may be time to consider whether staying in this relationship is the healthiest choice for you. You deserve a partner who respects your boundaries and builds a connection based on mutual trust and understanding.

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Kanchan Rai  |447 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Dec 26, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Dec 23, 2024Hindi
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Hi Anu, My husband is in living relationship with another lady since April in another country. At the same time, he acused me as selfish for doing my PhD in my native country and put me in mental trauma by verbally accusing.Also,he was very clever, he step by step get rid of all the things related to our relationship and took bank all the bank fund in my name.After that he blocked me.I had doubts on his extra marital and asked him 1000 times. But he simply insulted and blocked me from all social media eventually. After finishing my PhD pre submission, when i went to meet him, in his place. I found him, shifted to another apartment. But i somehow, found it and there i came to knew, he is staying with a lady there for past months. I broke down and informed all his friends. Now he is threatening me for signing mutual consent, otherwise he will make false allegations and tore my good name..Already he partially did that. When I talked to his friends, he was crooked enough to tell them, i am a psycho, ademant, career oriented lady. I told him i am ready to give him mutual divorce after once we met in person. I want to ask him why he cheated me.but he is not ready to meet, he is asking me to talk to his advocate. What shall I do now?
Ans: While it’s natural to want answers and closure, sometimes people who betray us in such profound ways refuse to provide the accountability we seek. Closure doesn’t always come from the other person. It can come from recognizing that their actions stem from their own flaws and failings, not because of anything lacking in you. It can come from choosing to let go of the need for explanations and focusing instead on rebuilding your own sense of peace and purpose.

You’ve already demonstrated incredible strength by standing up to him and exposing the truth to his friends. That takes courage. But this is also a time to lean into your inner resilience and ensure you’re supported by professionals who can guide you through the legal and emotional complexities. Speaking with a family lawyer who understands the nuances of your situation will help you feel empowered to navigate his threats and protect your rights. At the same time, connecting with a counselor or therapist can offer a safe space to process your emotions and begin to heal from this trauma.

It’s okay to grieve the relationship and the betrayal. It’s okay to feel anger, sadness, or even numbness at times. These emotions are all part of the process of moving forward. Allow yourself to feel them without judgment, but also remind yourself that this pain is temporary and does not define you. You are more than what has been done to you.

When you feel ready, try to shift your focus away from him and his actions and toward your own well-being and future. You’ve worked so hard on your PhD and have built a life full of potential and possibility. This chapter doesn’t have to define the rest of your story. You are capable of creating a life that is free from manipulation and filled with self-respect, joy, and the kind of peace that comes from living authentically.

Lean on the people who believe in you, who see your value, and who can remind you of your strength when you feel unsure. Remember, you don’t have to handle this alone. Whether it’s through professional guidance or emotional support from trusted loved ones, there are paths forward that will help you rise above this situation. You deserve a life where your worth is honored, your boundaries are respected, and your happiness takes center stage.

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Kanchan

Kanchan Rai  |447 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Dec 26, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Dec 23, 2024Hindi
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Hello, I am a 35-year woman from Manali, divorced for three years now. My family is constantly pushing me to get remarried, saying it’s ‘for my own good.’ But honestly, I don’t feel the need for marriage again. I’m financially stable, have great friends, and I genuinely enjoy my independence. Despite explaining this to my family multiple times, they keep bringing up alliances and even guilt-trip me, saying things like, ‘Who will take care of you when you’re older?’ or ‘What will society think?’ I’m exhausted from these arguments and feel like I’m being cornered into something I don’t want. How do I stand firm in my decision while maintaining my relationship with my family? How do I help them understand that being single is a choice, not a problem to fix?
Ans: When speaking to your family, try to approach the conversation from a place of empathy. Acknowledge their intentions by telling them you understand their worries and that they want what they believe is best for you. Express gratitude for their care—it often helps diffuse their defensiveness. However, it’s equally important to gently but firmly assert that your happiness is not dependent on remarriage. Share how content you are with your current life, emphasizing your financial stability, fulfilling friendships, and personal growth.

Sometimes families struggle to accept choices that diverge from traditional norms, often driven by fears about societal perceptions or imagined futures. Reassure them that your decision is rooted in thoughtful consideration and self-awareness, and that you’ve built a life that brings you peace and joy. If they bring up concerns like loneliness or old age, you can address these by expressing how you’ve cultivated strong support systems and how your independence equips you to face challenges.

It might also help to set gentle boundaries. For instance, you could say, “I appreciate that you care for me, but I’d like our time together to focus on enjoying each other’s company instead of discussing remarriage.” It’s okay to redirect conversations or take a break from them when you feel cornered.

Lastly, remember that changing deeply ingrained beliefs takes time. Your family might not immediately understand your perspective, but consistency and calm communication will help over time. It’s not your responsibility to conform to their expectations if doing so diminishes your sense of self. By staying true to your values while showing compassion for their concerns, you’re paving the way for mutual respect and understanding.

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Dr Nandita

Dr Nandita Palshetkar  |36 Answers  |Ask -

Gynaecologist, IVF expert - Answered on Dec 26, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Dec 19, 2024Hindi
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Dr, I’m 35 years old from Jamnagar, and my husband and I have been trying for a baby for the past year, but nothing seems to be working. I recently visited a fertility clinic in neighborhood , and after a few tests, they mentioned that I might have blocked fallopian tubes. The gynaec also talked about possible treatments like surgery or IVF, but I’m really confused and worried. Should I go for a laparoscopy to check the severity, or are there any other alternatives that could help me? I’m really anxious and just want to understand my options better before making any decisions.
Ans: History noted.
Considering your age 35 years, trying to conceive since, one year and few test done, one of which suggest possibility of tubal blockage, there are various modalities of treatment.
Firstly, you can do laparoscopy to note the severity if blockage and do tubal cannulation.
Tubal cannulation is often the first line of treatment for patients with blocked fallopian tubes because it's a non-invasive procedure that's widely available.
Tubal cannulation is a procedure that can unblock fallopian tubes and is highly successful for proximal tubal blockages, with a success rate of over 80%. However, it may not be successful for all patients and is not recommended for distal tubal occlusions.
This procedure if successful can avoid IVF procedure. Laparoscopy has…
Yes, before ivf get all your blood test, ecg, 2 D echo, xray chest to rule out any illness
Same with your husband to get semen analysis and viral markers with blood sugars to be done.

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Dr Nandita

Dr Nandita Palshetkar  |36 Answers  |Ask -

Gynaecologist, IVF expert - Answered on Dec 26, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Dec 17, 2024Hindi
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Hello Doctor, I’m in my late 20s, and lately, I’ve been feeling like something’s off with my body. My periods either show up way too early, sometimes not at all for months. And, I’ve been putting on weight even though I haven’t changed my diet or exercise routine. My skin has also turned into a battlefield with acne all over, which I never used to have before. My cousin, who’s around my age, just found out she has PCOS, and her mom (my aunt) went through something similar when she was younger. Now, I’m scared because I’ve been hearing all these horror stories about how it can affect fertility, and I’m not even married yet. What if it’s a family thing and I end up facing the same problems? My mom says, ‘Don’t worry, it’ll be fine,’ but I can’t stop thinking about it. Should I see a gynecologist, or is there another kind of doctor I should be visiting? What tests should I do to get to the bottom of this before it gets worse? Honestly, I’m feeling overwhelmed and just want to know what’s going on before it’s too late.
Ans: Hello, noted your concerns
You are in late 20’s with irregular periods, acne, weight gain,
You are undergoing hormonal imbalance
We need to do certain blood test like
CBC, tsh prolactin fasting insulin level
Hba1c, testosterone level
DHEA, LH FSH ESTRADIOL LEVEL
Amd AMH level to check for fertility level
Usg pelvis to rule out
Pcos
The mainstay treatment. For pcos is lifestyle changes
1) Daily exercise, walks. Zumba, running
2) Good nutritious food with proteins, vitamins, minerals, low carbs and fats
3) good adequate sleep 7 to 8 hours
4) stress management: yoga meditation, breathing exercise
5) supplements to controls effects of pcos
6) low dose OC PILLS TO regularize the cycles

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