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45-Year-Old Seeking Advice: How Much More to Save for Comfortable Retirement in India?

Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |6302 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Aug 01, 2024

Ramalingam Kalirajan has over 23 years of experience in mutual funds and financial planning.
He has an MBA in finance from the University of Madras and is a certified financial planner.
He is the director and chief financial planner at Holistic Investment, a Chennai-based firm that offers financial planning and wealth management advice.... more
Asked by Anonymous - Aug 01, 2024Hindi
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I am 45 Years Old and living with my wife and 11 yrs daughter in USA and want live in my small home hometown in India. I have 32 lakhs in PPF, 25 lakhs PF & 2 Apartment in Bangalore, investing 5 thousands per months in SIP & 2 Lakhs per year in retirement plan. I am planning to retire at 60 Yrs of age, how much more i should save for retirement for a better life post retirement.

Ans: Understand Your Current Financial Position
You are 45 years old, married, staying in the USA with your wife and 11-year-old daughter. You are planning to retire at the age of 60 years and relocate to your hometown in India.

Your current assets are as follows:

Rs 32 lakhs in PPF
Rs 25 lakhs in PF
2 apartments in Bangalore
Rs 5,000 per month in SIPs
Rs 2 lakhs per year in a retirement plan
Evaluating Your Retirement Needs
Age at Retirement:

You want to retire at 60 years.
Monthly Expenses:

Estimate your monthly expenses in India post-retirement.
Consider living expenses, medical costs, travel, and leisure.
Inflation Adjustment:

Consider inflation for maintaining your life standard.
Estimating Retirement Corpus
Current Savings:

Total PPF: Rs 32 lakhs
Total PF: Rs 25 lakhs
SIPs and Retirement Plan: Appreciating over the years
Target Retirement Corpus:

How much you would need to live comfortably?
A general rule of thumb is 25-30 times your annual expenses.
Example Calculation:

If your projected monthly expenses are Rs 50,000,
Annual expenses: Rs 6 lakhs
Desired corpus: Rs 1.5 to Rs 1.8 crores
Increase Your Savings
Step-up SIP Investments:
Currently, you invest Rs 5,000 a month.
Gradually increase this to Rs 15,000 a month.
Increase Investments in Retirement Plan:
Currently, you are investing Rs 2 lakhs a year.
Gradually increase this to Rs 3 lakhs a year.
Diversify Your Investments
Mutual Funds:
Continue with SIPs in diversified mutual funds.
Integrate equity and debt funds.
Fixed Deposits:

Only a small portion to be invested in fixed deposits for stability.
Be ensured of liquidity for emergencies.
PPF and PF:

Continue investing in PPF and PF.
Their returns are safe and tax-efficient.
Monitoring and Reviewing
Regular Review:

Get a review of all your investments once a year.
Based on their performance and your goals, adjust your contribution.
Adjust for Inflation:

The return on your investments should at least beat inflation.
Equities have given much higher returns.
Health Insurance:

Always maintain comprehensive health insurance.
Cover for any possible medical expenses in your retirement years.
Final Thoughts
You have a good start with PPF, PF, and mutual funds. Now, step up your SIPs and retirement plan contributions. Diversify the investments and periodically review the portfolio. Planning and disciplined saving will take you to the retirement goal.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in
DISCLAIMER: The content of this post by the expert is the personal view of the rediffGURU. Users are advised to pursue the information provided by the rediffGURU only as a source of information to be as a point of reference and to rely on their own judgement when making a decision.
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Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |6302 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Apr 15, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Apr 15, 2024Hindi
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Hi, I am 25 years old working in a MNC. Earning arround 65k excluding taxes in Bangalore + some shift, yearly bonus etc. avg hike 20%(not every year only hike 15% promotion 25% like that). I also earn 40-50k as part time few months not every month. My living cost is arround 20-25k per month I have to give my family arround 20k per month needs full fill I use arround 30k per year like phone laptop electronic (increase 20% yearly). How much should I save to retire at the age of 45? I am not married. Have arround 12L+ in savings 70% equity and 30% debt. I plan to buy a car in 2 year and marriage, also family planning.
Ans: Here's a breakdown to help you estimate how much you can save towards retirement at 45, considering your current situation and future plans:

Income:

Monthly Salary (excluding taxes): ?65,000 (approx.)
Yearly Bonus (average): Let's assume a conservative estimate of 1 month's salary (?65,000)
Part-time Income (average monthly): ?45,000 (considering the range)
Total Average Monthly Income:

(?65,000 + ?45,000)/12 + ?65,000/12 ≈ ?91,667

Expenses:

Living Costs: ?25,000
Family Support: ?20,000
Electronics (Yearly): ?30,000/12 = ?2,500 (monthly)
Total Average Monthly Expenses: ?47,500

Savings Potential:

?91,667 (Monthly Income) - ?47,500 (Monthly Expenses) ≈ ?44,167

Important Considerations:

Future Expenses: You plan to buy a car in 2 years, get married, and potentially start a family. These will significantly impact your savings. Factor in estimated costs for these events.
Inflation: Inflation will erode the purchasing power of your savings over time. Consider an inflation rate of 5-6% while calculating your retirement corpus.
Here's a suggestive approach:

Emergency Fund: Aim for 3-6 months of living expenses as an emergency fund. With your current expenses, this could be ?1.42 lakh to ?2.84 lakh.
Retirement Savings: Focus on maximizing retirement savings after building your emergency fund. You have a 15-year horizon (45 - 25 = 20 years, minus 5 years for planning major expenses). Investment advisors generally recommend saving 15-20% of your income for retirement. With your potential savings of around ?44,167, consider allocating a significant portion (around ?6,600 to ?8,800 monthly) towards retirement funds. You can adjust this based on your risk tolerance and future financial goals.
Investment Strategy: Since you have a long investment horizon, you can consider an equity-heavy approach for your retirement savings (70-80% equity). However, as you approach retirement, gradually shift towards a more balanced allocation with debt instruments to reduce volatility.
Retirement Corpus Estimation (using a simplified formula):

Corpus = (Retirement Age - Current Age) * Annual Expenses * Inflation Adjusted Factor

Assumptions:

Retirement Age: 45
Current Age: 25
Annual Expenses (adjusted for inflation at 5% for 20 years): Let's assume your expenses grow at the same rate as inflation, leading to an annual expense of ?3.78 lakh at retirement (?25,000 * 1.05 ^ 20)
Inflation Adjusted Factor (assuming a withdrawal rate of 4% and investment return slightly exceeding inflation): 25
Estimated Corpus: ?3.78 lakh/year * 25 ≈ ?9.45 crore

Note: This is a simplified estimation and doesn't account for future income growth, investment returns,

Recommendations:

Create a Budget: Track your income and expenses to identify areas for saving.
Automate Savings: Set up SIP (Systematic Investment Plan) for mutual funds to automate your retirement savings.
Seek Professional Advice: Consider consulting a Certified Financial Planner (CFP) for personalized financial planning based on your specific goals and risk tolerance. A CFP can help you create a comprehensive retirement plan considering your future expenses, investment strategy, and overall financial situation.
CFPs are financial advisors who have rigorous training and experience in financial planning. They are held to a high ethical standard and are required to act in their clients' best interests. Consulting a CFP can ensure you receive sound financial advice tailored to your unique needs and aspirations.

By being proactive with your savings and investments, you can work towards achieving your retirement goals at 45. Remember, this is a journey, and you might need to adjust your plan as your life progresses.

..Read more

Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |6302 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on May 30, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - May 30, 2024Hindi
Money
My age is 49 and has a monthly salary of INR 291000 and expect yearly hike of 5%. Want to retire by 55 years. Has Current loan of 60K and Current savings monthly are 50K SIP, 20K life insurance, 62K PF my contribution, 25K PPF(mine and wifes), Currnet asseats are own house, 35lacs in PF, 25lacs in SIP and 40lacs in FD. I have one daughter 9 yrears. How much corpus should be enough at retirement and is this savings good enough to achieve that.
Ans: Understanding Your Retirement Goals
Retirement planning is crucial to ensure a comfortable and stress-free life after you stop working. You aim to retire at 55 years, which gives you six more years to build your retirement corpus. Your current salary is Rs 2,91,000 per month, with an expected annual increment of 5%. Your monthly savings include Rs 50,000 in SIPs, Rs 20,000 in life insurance, Rs 62,000 in PF contributions, and Rs 25,000 in PPF contributions. Your current assets include a house, Rs 35 lakhs in PF, Rs 25 lakhs in SIPs, and Rs 40 lakhs in FDs. Additionally, you have a loan of Rs 60,000. Understanding these details helps in assessing if your savings are adequate for your retirement goals.

Evaluating Current Savings and Investments
Your disciplined approach to saving and investing is commendable. Consistent contributions to SIPs, PF, and PPF are effective ways to build a retirement corpus. Additionally, your current assets are well-diversified across various instruments, which is prudent. However, it is important to assess whether these savings and investments are sufficient to meet your retirement needs.

Systematic Investment Plans (SIPs)
SIPs are a popular choice for many investors due to their potential for high returns over the long term. They offer the benefit of rupee cost averaging and compounding. Actively managed funds, compared to index funds, can potentially provide better returns because they are managed by professionals who actively select stocks. However, it's essential to review the performance of these funds regularly and ensure they align with your risk tolerance and financial goals.

Provident Fund (PF) and Public Provident Fund (PPF)
Your contributions to PF and PPF are great for ensuring a stable, risk-free portion of your retirement corpus. PF offers a stable return with tax benefits, which is an excellent way to secure a part of your retirement income. PPF, with its tax-free interest and principal, is another safe investment that complements your riskier investments like SIPs.

Addressing the Loan
It is good to note that your current loan is Rs 60,000, which is relatively small compared to your overall financial picture. Paying off this loan should be a priority, as being debt-free at retirement is ideal. The sooner you clear this loan, the better your financial health will be.

Retirement Corpus Calculation
To determine how much corpus you will need at retirement, several factors need to be considered:

Expected Monthly Expenses: Estimate your monthly expenses post-retirement, considering inflation.

Life Expectancy: Plan for at least 30 years post-retirement.

Inflation Rate: Assume an average inflation rate of 6-7% annually.

Current Savings and Future Contributions: Calculate the future value of your current savings and ongoing contributions.

Estimating Monthly Expenses
Your monthly expenses in retirement may differ from your current expenses. Some costs may reduce, like work-related expenses, while healthcare and leisure costs might increase. It is vital to have a clear understanding of your expected monthly expenses. Let's assume your current monthly expenses are Rs 1,20,000. Considering inflation, these expenses will increase by the time you retire.

Inflation and Life Expectancy
Inflation significantly impacts retirement planning. Assuming an average inflation rate of 6-7%, your expenses will grow over time. Additionally, planning for a longer life expectancy ensures you do not outlive your savings. For example, if you retire at 55 and plan for 30 years, your corpus should support you until 85.

Future Value of Current Savings
Let's project the future value of your current savings and ongoing contributions. This projection helps in understanding if your current strategy will meet your retirement goals.

Evaluating the Sufficiency of Your Savings
Given your disciplined savings approach, you are on a strong path. However, ensuring these savings are enough requires careful planning. Regularly reviewing your investment portfolio and adjusting as necessary will keep you on track.

Benefits of Actively Managed Funds
Actively managed funds have the potential to outperform index funds, as fund managers make strategic decisions based on market conditions. This active management can lead to higher returns, although it often comes with higher fees. Nonetheless, the potential for greater returns can justify the cost, making actively managed funds a compelling option for growth-oriented investors like yourself.

Disadvantages of Direct Funds
Direct funds require a hands-on approach and deep market knowledge. Investing directly means you are responsible for all decisions, which can be risky if you are not well-versed in market dynamics. Regular funds, managed by Certified Financial Planners, offer professional expertise and monitoring, which can lead to better risk management and potentially higher returns. This professional guidance is invaluable, especially as you approach retirement and seek to secure your financial future.

Prioritizing Education for Your Daughter
Your nine-year-old daughter’s education is another critical goal. Education costs are rising, and planning for her future expenses is essential. Setting aside dedicated savings for her education, such as a child education plan, ensures that you are prepared for these costs without compromising your retirement corpus.

Importance of Insurance
Your current life insurance policy is a good step towards securing your family's financial future. Adequate insurance coverage is crucial to protect against unforeseen circumstances. Evaluating whether your current insurance is sufficient or if additional coverage is needed is advisable.

Conclusion
Your current savings and investment strategy reflect a strong commitment to financial planning. By continuing to save diligently and reviewing your investment portfolio regularly, you can build a robust retirement corpus. Paying off your loan and ensuring adequate insurance coverage further strengthens your financial position. Planning for your daughter's education and considering the benefits of actively managed funds over direct investments are also crucial steps.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in

..Read more

Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |6302 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Jun 04, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - May 30, 2024Hindi
Money
I am 51 yrs old woman. I have invested till now around 1 CR in MF, different Lic of about in total 10 lakhs that I will receive on maturity. I have different ULip policies which I will receive about 50 -60 lakhs on maturity, NSC of 2 lakh on maturity and negligible amount of 1 . 30 lakhs of Ppf which I invested since last 2 yrs . I have a home loan of about 3 lakhs left . 2 storey house of our own , though under loan . I have 2 children, 19 yrs daughter and 14 yrs son. How much should I save if I plan to retire at 55 . I have no pension
Ans: Planning for retirement at 55 requires a detailed and strategic approach, especially when considering your current financial situation and future needs. At 51, you have four years to build and solidify your retirement corpus. Let’s assess your current financial status and develop a comprehensive plan to ensure a comfortable and secure retirement.

Understanding Your Financial Position

1. Mutual Funds (MF)

You have invested Rs 1 crore in mutual funds. This is a significant investment and provides a strong foundation for your retirement corpus. Regular reviews and adjustments based on market conditions and fund performance are essential.

2. Life Insurance Policies (LIC)

You have different LIC policies worth Rs 10 lakhs. These policies will mature and provide a lump sum amount. This can be used to meet various financial needs or reinvested for better growth.

3. ULIP Policies

Your ULIP policies are expected to yield Rs 50-60 lakhs on maturity. ULIPs combine insurance and investment, offering returns based on market performance. Evaluate these policies to maximize their benefits.

4. National Savings Certificate (NSC)

You have Rs 2 lakhs in NSC, which is a safe investment providing fixed returns. This can be part of your low-risk portfolio.

5. Public Provident Fund (PPF)

You have invested Rs 1.30 lakhs in PPF over the last two years. PPF offers tax-free returns and should be continued for its benefits.

6. Home Loan

You have a home loan of Rs 3 lakhs left. Clearing this loan before retirement is advisable to reduce financial burden.

7. Real Estate

You own a two-storey house, though it’s under loan. Owning your residence is a significant advantage in retirement planning.

8. Dependents

You have two children, a 19-year-old daughter and a 14-year-old son. Their education and other needs must be considered in your financial planning.

Your commitment to building a diversified investment portfolio is commendable. Balancing investments in mutual funds, insurance, and savings schemes reflects a thoughtful approach to financial security. Your proactive planning for your children's future is also admirable.

Analyzing Income and Expenses

1. Monthly Income

Identify all sources of income, including your salary, rental income, or any other income streams. This will help in understanding your saving potential.

2. Monthly Expenses

Calculate your monthly household expenses, including utilities, groceries, education, and other essential expenses. This will provide clarity on your spending and saving capacity.

Investment Analysis and Strategy

1. Enhancing Mutual Fund Investments

Your Rs 1 crore investment in mutual funds is a strong base. Focus on a diversified portfolio with large-cap, mid-cap, and small-cap funds. Regularly review and rebalance to optimize returns.

2. Life Insurance Policies (LIC)

When your LIC policies mature, reinvest the Rs 10 lakhs into diversified mutual funds or other investment avenues for better growth.

3. Maximizing ULIP Benefits

Your ULIP policies are expected to yield Rs 50-60 lakhs. Review these policies with a Certified Financial Planner (CFP) to maximize their returns. Consider partial withdrawals or reinvestment based on performance.

4. Public Provident Fund (PPF)

Continue contributing to your PPF account to take advantage of its tax-free returns. Increase contributions if possible to build a substantial corpus.

5. Clearing Home Loan

Aim to clear your Rs 3 lakhs home loan before retirement. Use any surplus income, bonuses, or the maturity amount from LIC policies to repay the loan.

Planning for Children’s Education

1. Daughter’s Higher Education

Your 19-year-old daughter may soon require funds for higher education. Allocate a portion of your investments or ULIP returns towards her education fund.

2. Son’s Future Education

Your 14-year-old son will also need funds for his education. Plan and save accordingly to ensure his needs are met without straining your retirement corpus.

Retirement Corpus Calculation

1. Estimating Post-Retirement Expenses

Calculate your annual expenses post-retirement, including living expenses, healthcare, travel, and any other lifestyle needs. Factor in inflation to get a realistic estimate.

2. Retirement Corpus Needed

To determine the retirement corpus, use the rule of thumb that suggests having 25-30 times your annual expenses. This ensures you have enough to sustain you through your retirement years.

3. Investment Strategy

Equity for Growth

Invest a significant portion in equity mutual funds for high returns. Equities can outpace inflation, ensuring your corpus grows over time.

Debt for Stability

Allocate funds to debt instruments for stability and regular income. This balances the high-risk equity component and provides a steady income stream.

Diversified Portfolio

Choose diversified mutual funds with a mix of equity and debt. This provides growth potential with reduced volatility.

Tax Planning

1. Maximizing Tax Deductions

Utilize Section 80C for tax-saving investments like ELSS, PPF, and insurance premiums. This reduces your taxable income and increases savings.

2. National Pension System (NPS)

Consider investing in the National Pension System (NPS) for additional tax benefits under Section 80CCD(1B). NPS also provides a steady post-retirement income.

Health and Life Insurance

1. Adequate Health Insurance

Ensure you have comprehensive health insurance for yourself and your family. This covers major medical expenses and critical illnesses, reducing financial strain.

2. Sufficient Life Insurance

Opt for a term life insurance policy covering at least 10-15 times your annual income. This ensures financial security for your family in case of any unforeseen events.

Regular Portfolio Review

1. Annual Review

Review your investment portfolio annually. Adjust investments based on performance and changing financial goals to optimize returns.

2. Rebalancing

Rebalance your portfolio to maintain the desired asset allocation. This involves selling high-performing assets and buying underperforming ones to maintain balance.

Consulting a Certified Financial Planner

1. Personalized Advice

A Certified Financial Planner (CFP) provides tailored advice. They help navigate complex financial decisions and optimize your strategy.

2. Regular Consultations

Schedule regular consultations with your CFP. This ensures you stay on track and make informed decisions based on changing financial circumstances.

Actively Managed Funds

1. Professional Management

Actively managed funds offer professional management. Fund managers make informed decisions to maximize returns.

2. Market Adaptation

These funds adapt to market conditions. They can outperform passive funds, especially in volatile markets.

Disadvantages of Index Funds

1. Lack of Flexibility

Index funds replicate the market. They lack the flexibility to adapt to changing conditions, which can limit growth potential.

2. Average Returns

Index funds typically provide average market returns. Actively managed funds aim to outperform the market, offering higher returns.

Regular Funds Over Direct Funds

1. Professional Guidance

Investing through regular funds provides professional guidance. A Mutual Fund Distributor (MFD) and CFP ensure your investments align with your goals.

2. Regular Reviews

Regular funds offer periodic reviews and adjustments. This maximizes returns and manages risks effectively.

Expense Management

1. Track Spending

Monitor your monthly expenses. Identify areas where you can cut back and save more. This helps in increasing your savings rate.

2. Budgeting

Create a budget and stick to it. Allocate funds for savings, investments, and necessary expenses. This ensures disciplined financial management.

Long-Term Focus and Patience

1. Stay Invested

Remain invested for the long term. Market fluctuations are normal, and staying invested ensures you benefit from compounding.

2. Avoid Impulsive Decisions

Avoid making impulsive decisions based on short-term market movements. Stick to your long-term plan for better returns.

Diversification Across Asset Classes

1. Equity, Debt, and Gold

Diversify across equity, debt, and gold. Each asset class performs differently, providing stability and growth.

2. Balanced Approach

A balanced approach reduces risk and enhances returns. Diversification ensures a robust portfolio.

Tracking Progress and Adjustments

1. Financial Planning Tools

Use financial planning tools to track your progress. These tools help monitor investments and net worth, providing a clear picture of your financial health.

2. Make Necessary Adjustments

Adjust your investments based on changes in financial situation, goals, and market conditions. Stay flexible and proactive.

Staying Informed and Educated

1. Financial Knowledge

Stay informed about financial markets and investment opportunities. Continuous learning empowers better financial decisions.

2. Regular Updates

Keep up with market trends and updates. This helps in making timely adjustments to your portfolio for optimal returns.

Conclusion

Your goal of retiring at 55 is achievable with a disciplined approach. Focus on increasing your investments, managing debt, and staying diversified. Regular reviews and consultations with a Certified Financial Planner will ensure you stay on track. By following this comprehensive plan, you can achieve financial freedom and secure a comfortable retirement.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in

..Read more

Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |6302 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Jul 27, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Jul 18, 2024Hindi
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Hello Sir! I am 35 years old getting monthly salary of 112000 in Govt. of India and having a kid aged 6 months. I invest 20K in SIP and have a corpus of 5.2 lacs in MF, 30 lacs in NPS, an LIC policy with 45 lacs maturity on retirement age and savings of 2.5 lacs. How much money should I aim for retirement?
Ans: Assessing Your Financial Position
You have made a good start with your investments. Let’s evaluate your current financial status:

Monthly Salary: Rs. 1,12,000
SIP Investment: Rs. 20,000/month
Mutual Funds Corpus: Rs. 5.2 lakhs
NPS: Rs. 30 lakhs
LIC Policy: Rs. 45 lakhs maturity at retirement
Savings: Rs. 2.5 lakhs
Determining Retirement Corpus
To determine the amount you need for retirement, let’s consider a few factors:

Retirement Age: Assuming you want to retire at 60.
Life Expectancy: Assuming you live till 85.
Current Monthly Expenses: Let’s assume Rs. 50,000.
Inflation Rate: Assuming an average of 6% per annum.
Post-Retirement Return on Investments: Assuming 7% per annum.
Calculating Future Monthly Expenses
Your current monthly expenses of Rs. 50,000 will increase due to inflation.

Let's calculate your estimated monthly expenses at retirement:

Monthly Expense at Retirement: Rs. 50,000 * (1 + 0.06)^(60-35) = Rs. 2,14,377 approximately
Calculating Retirement Corpus
To sustain these expenses for 25 years post-retirement, you need to build a corpus that can generate this amount monthly.

Using the annuity formula to calculate the retirement corpus:

Required Corpus: Rs. 2,14,377 * [(1 - (1 + 0.07)^-25) / 0.07] = Rs. 4.1 crores approximately
Investment Strategy
Increase SIP Contributions
Increase SIPs: Try to increase your SIP investments gradually as your income grows.

Diversify: Invest in a mix of equity, debt, and hybrid funds to balance risk and returns.

Maximise NPS Contributions
NPS: Continue contributing to NPS as it provides good returns and tax benefits.

Equity Allocation: Maintain a higher equity allocation in NPS for better growth.

Evaluate LIC Policy
LIC Policy: Ensure the LIC policy provides good returns. If not, consider other investment options.
Build an Emergency Fund
Emergency Fund: Keep a fund equivalent to 6-12 months of expenses.
Regular Reviews and Adjustments
Annual Review: Reassess your portfolio annually with a certified financial planner.

Market Conditions: Adjust investments based on changing market conditions and life goals.

Final Insights
To achieve a comfortable retirement, you need to aim for a corpus of approximately Rs. 4.1 crores. Increase your investments, diversify your portfolio, and regularly review your financial plan.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in

..Read more

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Ravi Mittal  |298 Answers  |Ask -

Dating, Relationships Expert - Answered on Sep 16, 2024

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Hii sir ! This is ritika and I love a boy and we are in relationship since 7 years but there are some behavior of him he always have doubt on me that I am dating another boy he always says that start you screenshare in WhatsApp I even do because I don't want to lose him and he saw all of things of my phone yesterday he again asking for that and I do and there was a tab of instagram which was belongs to my roommate it was her I'd open in my chrome browser where she only wants to delete the I'd which she did from my phone these instagram thing happened approx one year ago but when he saw this I told him that was not mine but he continuously said I am cheater I cheated with him again he was like I know you have two mobile phones and you cheated with me. I love him soo much but he cannot try to accept that . Even I don't talk to my male classmate because he didn't want ki main kisi boy se baat karu Is it fair , am I cheater ? I love him unconditionally I support him in all his career or decision but again he was like I cheated with him we are in long distance relationship but I can't cheat him . Literally I am feeling depressed ????
Ans: Dear Ritika,

Please understand that you did nothing wrong. Why would you even question yourself? You know you never cheated. It's his issue that he cannot trust. Yes, in a relationship we all try to comfort our partners but that too should be to a certain extent. And, in that process, if your mental health is being compromised, I don't see how it's a healthy relationship.

I don't want to tell you what to do, but I would reassure you that YOU DID NOTHING WRONG. You don't need to prove yourself anymore. And I can also assure you that no matter what you do, he will still manage to find some flaws and doubt you. It's a typical behavior we see in some partners. You deserve peace, love, and above all, to be trusted.

Best Wishes.

...Read more

DISCLAIMER: The content of this post by the expert is the personal view of the rediffGURU. Investment in securities market are subject to market risks. Read all the related document carefully before investing. The securities quoted are for illustration only and are not recommendatory. Users are advised to pursue the information provided by the rediffGURU only as a source of information and as a point of reference and to rely on their own judgement when making a decision. RediffGURUS is an intermediary as per India's Information Technology Act.

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