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Omkeshwar

Omkeshwar Singh  | Answer  |Ask -

Head, Rank MF - Answered on Dec 21, 2021

Mutual Fund Expert... more
Somnath Question by Somnath on Dec 21, 2021Hindi
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Money

I am 43 years old.

I am a government employee and do not have much bank balance.

I want to create wealth of Rs 1 cr in 17 years as a part of my retirement benefit.

At present, I am investing a total of Rs 5,600/month in these SIPs.

Mutual Funds Plan type Amount
1. Axis ESG Equity Fund Growth Rs 1,000/month
2. Axis MF Bluechip Fund Growth Rs 500/month
3. Axis Midcap Fund Growth Rs 500/month
4. UTI Small Cap Fund Growth Rs 1,000/month
5. UTI Flexi Cap Fund Growth Rs 500/month
6. PGIM India Flexi Cap Fund Direct, growth Rs 600/month
7. Principal Focused Multicap Fund Growth Rs 500/month
8. Aditya Birla Sun Life ESG Fund Growth Rs 500/month
9. DSP Quant Fund Growth Rs 500/month

Please tell me whether the funds I chose are the right ones to provide wealth in the long term.

Ans: The funds chosen are good and have the potential to provide decent returns in the long run.

 

DISCLAIMER: The content of this post by the expert is the personal view of the rediffGURU. Users are advised to pursue the information provided by the rediffGURU only as a source of information to be as a point of reference and to rely on their own judgement when making a decision.
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Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |7336 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on May 30, 2024

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I have 36000 salary and investing 7500/month in SIP and every month 2000rs I'm purchasing stocks(I take own study), Total 9500/month Mutual funds are direct growth *SBI midcap fund 1000* *SBI consumption opportunity fund 1000* *Canara robeco tax saving fund 2000* *Quant small cap 2000* *Quant dynamic asset allocation fund 1000* *Digital gold 500/month* One year old portfolio 10-15 years time zone For retirement plan
Ans: Evaluating Investment Strategy for Retirement Planning
Your investment strategy, blending systematic investment plans (SIPs) in mutual funds and direct stock purchases, showcases a proactive approach to building wealth for retirement. Let's delve deeper into each component to ensure it aligns with your long-term financial goals while addressing associated risks.

SIP Investments:

Diversified Portfolio: Your allocation across various mutual funds, including mid-cap, tax-saving, small-cap, and dynamic asset allocation, offers diversification benefits, spreading risk across different asset classes and market segments.
Consistent Investing: Regular monthly investments through SIPs demonstrate discipline and harness the power of compounding over the long term, contributing significantly to wealth accumulation.
Professional Management: Mutual funds are managed by seasoned fund managers who conduct in-depth research and analysis, potentially delivering superior returns compared to individual stock picking.
Direct Stock Purchases:

Hands-on Approach: Actively purchasing stocks based on personal study reflects an engaged investment approach, potentially leading to enhanced returns through astute stock selection and market insights.
Risks of Individual Stock Selection: Direct stock investing entails specific risks, including company-specific risks such as poor management decisions, industry risks, and market volatility, which can adversely impact portfolio performance.
Lack of Diversification: Concentrating investments in a few individual stocks exposes the portfolio to higher idiosyncratic risk compared to diversified mutual funds, where risk is spread across multiple securities.
Risks of Direct Stock Investing Over Mutual Funds:

Higher Volatility: Individual stocks tend to be more volatile than diversified mutual funds, as their prices are influenced by company-specific news and events, leading to larger price fluctuations.
Lack of Professional Management: Direct stock investors bear the responsibility of conducting thorough research, monitoring stock performance, and making timely decisions, which may not always match the expertise and resources of professional fund managers.
Higher Transaction Costs: Direct stock investing often incurs higher transaction costs, including brokerage fees, taxes, and bid-ask spreads, which can erode returns, especially for small investors.
Risks of Direct Funds Over Regular Mutual Fund Distributors (MFDs):

Limited Access to Advice: Investing directly in mutual funds may limit access to personalized financial advice and guidance provided by certified financial planners or experienced mutual fund distributors, potentially leading to suboptimal investment decisions.
Lack of Portfolio Monitoring: Direct investors are responsible for monitoring their portfolios, tracking fund performance, and rebalancing asset allocations, which requires time, knowledge, and expertise.
Potential for Missed Opportunities: Without the assistance of a regular mutual fund distributor, investors may miss out on new fund offerings, market insights, and investment opportunities that could enhance portfolio returns and diversification.
Recommendations:
Review Portfolio Composition: Periodically review your portfolio to ensure it remains aligned with your risk tolerance, investment objectives, and time horizon, considering the risks associated with direct stock investing.
Risk Management: Continuously monitor individual stock performance and mutual fund returns to identify underperforming assets and take necessary actions to mitigate risks.
Asset Allocation: Rebalance your portfolio periodically to maintain an optimal asset allocation based on your risk profile and investment goals, considering the risks inherent in both direct stock investing and direct mutual fund investments.
Consult a Certified Financial Planner: Seek professional advice from a Certified Financial Planner to reassess your retirement goals, risk tolerance, and investment strategy, ensuring it remains conducive to achieving your long-term financial objectives while mitigating associated risks.
Your proactive approach towards retirement planning is commendable. By remaining disciplined, diversifying your investments, and periodically reviewing your portfolio, you're on track to build a robust financial foundation for retirement.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in

..Read more

Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |7336 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on May 29, 2024

Money
My current age is 49 Years. I have my own house worth Rs. 90 lakhs, one Flat worth Rs, 50 L, two small Bunglows at Bolkpur worth Rs. 25 L, and 12 katthas of Land worth Rs. 40 L. Having no loan in the market. Through mutual funds I have invested Rs. 50 L. Its market value is 1.25 Cr. Presently I am running (1) SIP of Rs. 4,80, 000 p.m., (2) PPF of Rs. 1,50,000 /- p.a. (3) LIC (Market Linked) Rs. 2.25,000/- p.a. and (4) SBI Life Rs. 6,00,000 p.a. LICs are going to be matured by 2027. Would like to make a total fund og 5 Cr by 2030. So that after retirement at my age of 55, I can earn at least Rs. 3 L p.m. SIPs are : (1) SBI Blue Chip Fund Regular Plan Growth Rs. 60,000 p.a. (2) SBI Focussed Equity Fund Regular Growth Rs. 60,000 p.a. (3) SBI Magnum Global Fund Regular Plan Growth Rs. 60,000 p.a. (4) SBI Magnum Midcap Fund Regular Plan Growth Rs. 60,000 p.a. (5) SBI Nifty 50 Equal Weight Index Fund Regular Plan Growth Rs. 1,00,000 p.a.
Ans: Thank you for sharing detailed information about your current financial situation and goals. You have done an excellent job in building a diversified portfolio. Your goal of achieving Rs. 5 crore by 2030 and earning Rs. 3 lakh per month after retirement is commendable. Let’s delve into how you can achieve this.

Assessing Your Current Financial Status
You own multiple properties worth Rs. 2.05 crore, and your mutual fund investments are valued at Rs. 1.25 crore. Additionally, you are actively investing through SIPs, PPF, LIC, and SBI Life Insurance. This diversified approach is sound and sets a strong foundation for your financial goals.

Understanding Your Investment Strategy
You have allocated Rs. 4.8 lakh per month in SIPs and are contributing to PPF and insurance policies. Your current investment strategy reflects a balanced approach, combining equity, debt, and insurance products.

Evaluating Your SIP Investments
You have invested in several mutual funds, which is a good strategy. Actively managed funds can provide better returns due to professional management. However, index funds, while stable, may not offer the same level of growth as actively managed funds.

Disadvantages of Index Funds
Index funds track a specific market index and lack active management. They may not outperform the market and have limited flexibility. Actively managed funds, on the other hand, can adapt to market conditions, aiming for higher returns.

Benefits of Actively Managed Funds
Actively managed funds have experienced fund managers who make strategic decisions. They aim to outperform the market by selecting high-potential stocks. This can lead to better returns compared to index funds.

Importance of Diversification
Diversification reduces risk and enhances returns. Your portfolio should include a mix of large-cap, mid-cap, and small-cap funds. This approach balances stability with growth potential, aligning with your risk tolerance.

Regular Monitoring and Rebalancing
Regularly monitoring your investments is crucial. Rebalancing your portfolio ensures it aligns with your financial goals and risk tolerance. This helps maintain the desired asset allocation and optimizes returns.

Maximizing PPF Contributions
Your PPF contributions offer tax benefits and secure returns. Maximizing contributions to PPF can enhance your overall returns while providing safety. The tax-free interest adds to the attractiveness of PPF as a long-term investment.

Reviewing Insurance Policies
Your LIC and SBI Life policies provide insurance coverage and investment growth. However, market-linked insurance plans may have higher costs and lower returns compared to mutual funds. Considering your investment goals, it might be beneficial to surrender these policies and reinvest the proceeds in mutual funds.

Benefits of Reinvesting in Mutual Funds
Reinvesting the surrender value from your insurance policies into mutual funds can potentially offer higher returns. Mutual funds provide greater flexibility and the potential for significant growth, aligning well with your long-term goals.

Achieving Your Goal of Rs. 5 Crore by 2030
To achieve your goal of Rs. 5 crore by 2030, you need to focus on high-growth investments. Continue your SIPs in actively managed funds, maximize PPF contributions, and consider reinvesting insurance policy proceeds into mutual funds. This combined strategy should help you reach your target.

Generating Rs. 3 Lakh per Month Post-Retirement
To generate Rs. 3 lakh per month after retirement, you need a diversified income stream. This can include withdrawals from mutual funds, interest from PPF, and income from other investments. A Certified Financial Planner can help design a withdrawal strategy to meet your income needs.

Importance of Professional Guidance
Consulting a Certified Financial Planner ensures personalized advice. They can help optimize your investment strategy, align it with your goals, and manage risk. Professional guidance is invaluable in achieving financial security.

Disadvantages of Direct Funds
Direct funds require you to manage investments without professional advice. This can be challenging and risky without market knowledge. Regular funds, advised by a CFP, offer better management and informed decision-making.

Conclusion
Your current financial plan is robust and well-diversified. By continuing your disciplined investment approach, considering the surrender of insurance policies for better investment opportunities, and seeking professional advice, you can achieve your goal of Rs. 5 crore by 2030. This will ensure a comfortable retirement with a steady income.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in

..Read more

Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |7336 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on May 23, 2024

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My current age is 49 Years. I have my own house worth Rs. 90 lakhs, one Flat worth Rs, 50 L, two small Bungalows at Bolpur worth Rs. 25 L, and 12 kothas of Land worth Rs. 40 L. Having no loan in the market. Through mutual funds, I have invested Rs. 50 L.. Presently Its market value is 1.25 Cr. Presently I am running (1) SIP of Rs. 4,80, 000 p.a., (2) PPF of Rs. 1,50,000 /- p.a. (3) LIC (Market Linked) Rs. 2.25,000/- p.a. and (4) SBI Life Rs. 6,00,000 p.a. LICs are going to be matured by 2027. Would like to make a total fund og 5 Cr by 2030. So that after retirement at my age of 55, I can earn at least Rs. 3 L p.m. SIPs are : (1) SBI Blue Chip Fund Regular Plan Growth Rs. 60,000 p.a. (2) SBI Focussed Equity Fund Regular Growth Rs. 60,000 p.a. (3) SBI Magnum Global Fund Regular Plan Growth Rs. 60,000 p.a. (4) SBI Magnum Midcap Fund Regular Plan Growth Rs. 60,000 p.a. (5) SBI Nifty 50 Equal Weight Index Fund Regular Plan Growth Rs. 1,00,000 p.a.
Ans: Current Financial Status and Investment Goals

Your financial position is commendable. At 49, owning a house, a flat, two bungalows, and land showcases a solid real estate portfolio. Additionally, having Rs. 50 lakhs invested in mutual funds, now worth Rs. 1.25 crores, is impressive. The absence of loans further strengthens your financial health.

Ongoing Investments

You have a diversified investment approach. Your SIPs, PPF, and insurance policies show a well-thought-out strategy. These ongoing investments are critical for achieving your financial goals.

Assessing SIP Investments

Your SIP portfolio includes various funds. Actively managed funds can outperform index funds, especially in volatile markets. Certified Financial Planners can guide you in choosing funds that align with your risk tolerance and financial goals. Regular funds offer professional management, which can be beneficial.

Advantages of Actively Managed Funds

Actively managed funds aim to outperform the market. Fund managers adjust the portfolio based on market conditions. This can lead to better returns compared to index funds, which only mimic market performance.

Evaluating Insurance Policies

Your insurance policies, both LIC and SBI Life, provide a safety net. The market-linked LIC policy maturing in 2027 will add to your corpus. Ensure these policies align with your long-term financial goals.

Public Provident Fund (PPF)

Your PPF investment is a safe and tax-efficient option. It provides steady, risk-free returns and is a good addition to your retirement portfolio.

Targeting a Rs. 5 Crore Corpus by 2030

To reach Rs. 5 crore by 2030, reassess your investment strategy periodically. With your current assets and investments, this goal seems achievable. Keep track of market trends and adjust your investments accordingly.

Post-Retirement Income Plan

You aim for a monthly income of Rs. 3 lakhs post-retirement. Diversifying income sources, including investments, rental income, and interest from safe instruments, can help achieve this target.

Avoiding Index Funds

Index funds merely replicate market performance and might not provide superior returns. Actively managed funds, with expert fund management, can potentially deliver better returns and align with your financial goals.

Disadvantages of Direct Funds

Direct funds lack professional guidance, which regular funds offer. Certified Financial Planners provide tailored advice, helping to optimize your investment portfolio for better returns.

Regular Review and Adjustment

Regularly review your portfolio with a Certified Financial Planner. Market conditions change, and timely adjustments ensure your investments remain aligned with your goals.

Conclusion

Your financial foundation is strong, and with strategic planning, you can achieve your Rs. 5 crore target by 2030. Keep investing wisely, seek professional guidance, and review your portfolio periodically.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in

..Read more

Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |7336 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on May 27, 2024

Money
My current age is 49 Years. I have my own house worth Rs. 90 lakhs, one Flat worth Rs, 50 L, two small Bunglows at Bolpur worth Rs. 25 L, and 12 katthas of Land worth Rs. 40 L. Having no loan in the market. Through mutual funds I have invested Rs. 50 L. Its market value is 1.25 Cr. Presently I am running (1) SIP of Rs. 4,80, 000 p.a., (2) PPF of Rs. 1,50,000 /- p.a. (3) LIC (Market Linked) Rs. 2.25,000/- p.a. and (4) SBI Life Rs. 6,00,000 p.a. LICs are going to be matured by 2027. Would like to make a total fund og 5 Cr by 2030. So that after retirement at my age of 55, I can earn at least Rs. 3 L p.m. SIPs are : (1) SBI Blue Chip Fund Regular Plan Growth Rs. 60,000 p.a. (2) SBI Focussed Equity Fund Regular Growth Rs. 60,000 p.a. (3) SBI Magnum Global Fund Regular Plan Growth Rs. 60,000 p.a. (4) SBI Magnum Midcap Fund Regular Plan Growth Rs. 60,000 p.a. (5) SBI Nifty 50 Equal Weight Index Fund Regular Plan Growth Rs. 1,00,000 p.a.
Ans: Evaluating Your Current Financial Situation
At 49 years old, you have significant assets and investments. Your primary goals are to accumulate Rs. 5 crore by 2030 and ensure a monthly income of Rs. 3 lakh post-retirement. Let's break down your current assets and investments:

Real Estate Holdings:

House: Rs. 90 lakh
Flat: Rs. 50 lakh
Two bungalows at Bolpur: Rs. 25 lakh
12 katthas of land: Rs. 40 lakh
Financial Investments:

Mutual funds: Rs. 50 lakh invested, current market value Rs. 1.25 crore
SIPs: Rs. 4,80,000 annually
PPF: Rs. 1,50,000 annually
LIC (Market Linked): Rs. 2,25,000 annually
SBI Life: Rs. 6,00,000 annually
Financial Goals and Analysis
You aim to reach a total corpus of Rs. 5 crore by 2030. You also want to secure a monthly income of Rs. 3 lakh after retirement at age 55.

Strategic Investment Plan
To achieve your goals, it's essential to optimize your current investments and ensure they align with your risk tolerance and time horizon.

Reviewing Mutual Fund Investments
Your SIPs are well-diversified across various categories. However, it's crucial to evaluate their performance regularly and make adjustments as needed.

Current SIPs:

SBI Blue Chip Fund: Rs. 60,000 p.a.
SBI Focused Equity Fund: Rs. 60,000 p.a.
SBI Magnum Global Fund: Rs. 60,000 p.a.
SBI Magnum Midcap Fund: Rs. 60,000 p.a.
SBI Nifty 50 Equal Weight Index Fund: Rs. 1,00,000 p.a.
Suggested Adjustments:
SBI Blue Chip Fund: Increase SIP to Rs. 1,00,000 p.a.
SBI Focused Equity Fund: Maintain Rs. 60,000 p.a.
SBI Magnum Global Fund: Increase SIP to Rs. 1,00,000 p.a.
SBI Magnum Midcap Fund: Increase SIP to Rs. 1,00,000 p.a.
Add a Multi-Cap Fund: Allocate Rs. 60,000 p.a.
Add a Debt Fund: Allocate Rs. 60,000 p.a. for stability and risk mitigation.
Optimizing PPF Contributions
PPF is a safe and tax-efficient investment. Continue your annual contribution of Rs. 1,50,000. It offers steady returns and is an excellent tool for long-term wealth accumulation.

Evaluating Life Insurance Policies
Your LIC and SBI Life policies are significant commitments. Given their maturity in 2027, you can re-evaluate them to see if they meet your financial goals.

LIC Market Linked:

Annual Premium: Rs. 2,25,000
Maturity: 2027
SBI Life:

Annual Premium: Rs. 6,00,000
Consider the following:

Review Policy Performance: Evaluate if the returns are meeting your expectations.
Term Insurance: If you need life cover, a term insurance policy might be more cost-effective. This could free up funds for other investments.
Investment Strategy Post-Maturity of LIC
Once your LIC policies mature in 2027, you will have additional funds. Reinvest these into mutual funds or other high-return instruments to grow your corpus further.

Asset Allocation and Diversification
Balancing risk and return is crucial. Here’s a suggested asset allocation strategy:

Equity Funds (60-70%): Continue and increase SIPs in high-performing mutual funds.
Debt Funds (20-30%): Add debt funds for stability.
PPF (10-20%): Continue contributions for safe, tax-free returns.
Projected Growth and Future Value
Assuming an average annual return of 12% on your mutual fund investments, let's estimate the future value of your portfolio.

Mutual Funds:

Current Value: Rs. 1.25 crore
Annual SIPs: Increased to Rs. 4.80 lakh
Additional Lump Sum from LIC Maturity
Using a compound interest calculator, we can project significant growth. Regular reviews and adjustments will help stay on track.

Contingency Fund
Maintain an emergency fund equivalent to 6-12 months of expenses. This ensures financial stability in case of unexpected events.

Retirement Income Strategy
To secure Rs. 3 lakh monthly post-retirement, consider a mix of:

Systematic Withdrawal Plan (SWP): From mutual funds to provide regular income.
Debt Funds: For steady returns with low risk.
Post-Retirement Investments: Explore Senior Citizens’ Savings Scheme (SCSS) and other safe options.
Regular Review and Adjustment
Financial markets and personal circumstances change. Regularly review and adjust your portfolio to ensure it aligns with your goals and risk tolerance.

Conclusion
By optimizing your current investments and making strategic adjustments, you can achieve your goal of Rs. 5 crore by 2030 and secure a monthly income of Rs. 3 lakh post-retirement. Here’s a summary of the action plan:

Increase SIP contributions in high-performing funds.
Review and potentially replace LIC policies with term insurance.
Continue PPF contributions.
Reinvest LIC maturity proceeds into mutual funds.
Maintain an emergency fund.
Regularly review and adjust your investments.
Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in

..Read more

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Ravi Mittal  |475 Answers  |Ask -

Dating, Relationships Expert - Answered on Dec 26, 2024

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I am talking to a boy for arranged marriage. He said me that come to Bangalore you will have a good career. But he is also asking me if I can leave my job if I have got some responsibility in life to which I said yes. Then I said that I prefer own cooked food over cook cooked food. Then he asked me if I can cook for 2 people to which I said that I will have to look if I can do. He seems to be supportive when he talks on phone. Is he brain washing me, should I say yes or no. Is he a red flag. What should I do.
Ans: Dear Moumita,
It isn't fair to label someone as a red flag over a few days of conversation; seeing women take up responsibilities of home and disregard their own career or needs might be what he has seen growing up and it's not him being a red flag intentionally. A lot has to do with upbringing. What I can suggest with confidence is that if you love having your own job, and your own financial independence then please be vocal about it. Just because he is asking you to leave your job doesn't mean you have to do it- you are only in the talking phase. You are not married yet. You have ample time to rethink your choice. Cooking and housework shouldn’t just be your responsibility, just like earning and providing shouldn’t only be his. It’s about sharing the load equally. Having said that, I should also mention that every relationship is different, and each couple finds their own way of balancing things. Ultimately, everything boils down to what you are comfortable with- please take some time to figure that out and only then decide whether or not to take this relationship ahead.

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Kanchan Rai  |447 Answers  |Ask -

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Asked by Anonymous - Dec 25, 2024
Relationship
Hi, My GF of last 2.5 years gets attracted to men very often and shares her feelings with me as well. She developed feelings for a guy a year back and he kissed her once when they were drunk. She said she didn't had time to react and Later they had a talk, she informed me that they chose to be friends, she doesn't seems to in talking terms any more with him. She talks to lot of male friends who she claims are from LGBTQ community which I doubt whether all are or not. I always say she has the freedom to move on any given day but she can't cheat but she doesn't think getting attracted to multiple men and acting on it as cheating . She says, she is free spirited and she is ok even if I visit a prostitute house. She is in her early 30s. She had a crush another guy on insta and said she will definitely try him if he wasn't lot younger than her but later said he is her best friend and she is in constant touch. Lately, she says vibe doesn't match and have problem saying I am her BF. I tried to move on from relationship 2-3 times because of her above traits and now stopped talking since few days. She had both mental and medical issues. Can I trust her and will she have any mental issues again?
Ans: While it’s commendable that she is honest about her feelings and gives you the freedom to make your choices, it’s equally important to consider whether her values and actions align with what you need in a partner. Relationships thrive when there’s mutual respect, understanding, and agreement on boundaries. If her actions or mindset make you feel undervalued or emotionally unsafe, it’s crucial to reflect on whether this relationship is truly serving your well-being.

The fact that you’ve tried to move on multiple times suggests that there is a deeper discomfort within you about the dynamics between you two. Trust is not just about fidelity; it’s about emotional safety, reliability, and mutual respect. If her behavior consistently makes you question her commitment or your place in her life, that erosion of trust can become difficult to rebuild.

As for her mental and medical challenges, it’s important to approach those with empathy, but also with a clear understanding that you cannot "fix" or "heal" someone unless they are actively seeking and working toward their own well-being. If she has not addressed her mental health or continues behaviors that affect the relationship without taking responsibility, it can lead to ongoing strain for you. Her mental health challenges are not excuses for harmful behavior, nor should they become reasons for you to sacrifice your own emotional health.

You’ve already shown patience and willingness to work through these challenges, but the repeated cycles of doubt and frustration may be a sign that the relationship is taking more from you than it’s giving. Ask yourself if you feel supported, valued, and emotionally safe in this partnership. Relationships should bring out the best in you and your partner, not leave you questioning your worth or constantly trying to accommodate behavior that feels unfair.

Taking a step back, as you’ve done now, can give you the clarity to evaluate what you truly want and need in a relationship. If trust feels irreparably broken or if her behaviors and values are fundamentally misaligned with yours, it may be time to consider whether staying in this relationship is the healthiest choice for you. You deserve a partner who respects your boundaries and builds a connection based on mutual trust and understanding.

If you decide to stay, open communication and possibly couples’ therapy could help bridge the gaps. If you choose to move on, trust that this decision is about prioritizing your well-being and finding a relationship that aligns with your values and needs. Either way, your happiness and emotional health should come first.

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Kanchan

Kanchan Rai  |447 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Dec 26, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Dec 23, 2024Hindi
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Hi Anu, My husband is in living relationship with another lady since April in another country. At the same time, he acused me as selfish for doing my PhD in my native country and put me in mental trauma by verbally accusing.Also,he was very clever, he step by step get rid of all the things related to our relationship and took bank all the bank fund in my name.After that he blocked me.I had doubts on his extra marital and asked him 1000 times. But he simply insulted and blocked me from all social media eventually. After finishing my PhD pre submission, when i went to meet him, in his place. I found him, shifted to another apartment. But i somehow, found it and there i came to knew, he is staying with a lady there for past months. I broke down and informed all his friends. Now he is threatening me for signing mutual consent, otherwise he will make false allegations and tore my good name..Already he partially did that. When I talked to his friends, he was crooked enough to tell them, i am a psycho, ademant, career oriented lady. I told him i am ready to give him mutual divorce after once we met in person. I want to ask him why he cheated me.but he is not ready to meet, he is asking me to talk to his advocate. What shall I do now?
Ans: While it’s natural to want answers and closure, sometimes people who betray us in such profound ways refuse to provide the accountability we seek. Closure doesn’t always come from the other person. It can come from recognizing that their actions stem from their own flaws and failings, not because of anything lacking in you. It can come from choosing to let go of the need for explanations and focusing instead on rebuilding your own sense of peace and purpose.

You’ve already demonstrated incredible strength by standing up to him and exposing the truth to his friends. That takes courage. But this is also a time to lean into your inner resilience and ensure you’re supported by professionals who can guide you through the legal and emotional complexities. Speaking with a family lawyer who understands the nuances of your situation will help you feel empowered to navigate his threats and protect your rights. At the same time, connecting with a counselor or therapist can offer a safe space to process your emotions and begin to heal from this trauma.

It’s okay to grieve the relationship and the betrayal. It’s okay to feel anger, sadness, or even numbness at times. These emotions are all part of the process of moving forward. Allow yourself to feel them without judgment, but also remind yourself that this pain is temporary and does not define you. You are more than what has been done to you.

When you feel ready, try to shift your focus away from him and his actions and toward your own well-being and future. You’ve worked so hard on your PhD and have built a life full of potential and possibility. This chapter doesn’t have to define the rest of your story. You are capable of creating a life that is free from manipulation and filled with self-respect, joy, and the kind of peace that comes from living authentically.

Lean on the people who believe in you, who see your value, and who can remind you of your strength when you feel unsure. Remember, you don’t have to handle this alone. Whether it’s through professional guidance or emotional support from trusted loved ones, there are paths forward that will help you rise above this situation. You deserve a life where your worth is honored, your boundaries are respected, and your happiness takes center stage.

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Kanchan

Kanchan Rai  |447 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Dec 26, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Dec 23, 2024Hindi
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Hello, I am a 35-year woman from Manali, divorced for three years now. My family is constantly pushing me to get remarried, saying it’s ‘for my own good.’ But honestly, I don’t feel the need for marriage again. I’m financially stable, have great friends, and I genuinely enjoy my independence. Despite explaining this to my family multiple times, they keep bringing up alliances and even guilt-trip me, saying things like, ‘Who will take care of you when you’re older?’ or ‘What will society think?’ I’m exhausted from these arguments and feel like I’m being cornered into something I don’t want. How do I stand firm in my decision while maintaining my relationship with my family? How do I help them understand that being single is a choice, not a problem to fix?
Ans: When speaking to your family, try to approach the conversation from a place of empathy. Acknowledge their intentions by telling them you understand their worries and that they want what they believe is best for you. Express gratitude for their care—it often helps diffuse their defensiveness. However, it’s equally important to gently but firmly assert that your happiness is not dependent on remarriage. Share how content you are with your current life, emphasizing your financial stability, fulfilling friendships, and personal growth.

Sometimes families struggle to accept choices that diverge from traditional norms, often driven by fears about societal perceptions or imagined futures. Reassure them that your decision is rooted in thoughtful consideration and self-awareness, and that you’ve built a life that brings you peace and joy. If they bring up concerns like loneliness or old age, you can address these by expressing how you’ve cultivated strong support systems and how your independence equips you to face challenges.

It might also help to set gentle boundaries. For instance, you could say, “I appreciate that you care for me, but I’d like our time together to focus on enjoying each other’s company instead of discussing remarriage.” It’s okay to redirect conversations or take a break from them when you feel cornered.

Lastly, remember that changing deeply ingrained beliefs takes time. Your family might not immediately understand your perspective, but consistency and calm communication will help over time. It’s not your responsibility to conform to their expectations if doing so diminishes your sense of self. By staying true to your values while showing compassion for their concerns, you’re paving the way for mutual respect and understanding.

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Dr Nandita

Dr Nandita Palshetkar  |36 Answers  |Ask -

Gynaecologist, IVF expert - Answered on Dec 26, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Dec 19, 2024Hindi
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Dr, I’m 35 years old from Jamnagar, and my husband and I have been trying for a baby for the past year, but nothing seems to be working. I recently visited a fertility clinic in neighborhood , and after a few tests, they mentioned that I might have blocked fallopian tubes. The gynaec also talked about possible treatments like surgery or IVF, but I’m really confused and worried. Should I go for a laparoscopy to check the severity, or are there any other alternatives that could help me? I’m really anxious and just want to understand my options better before making any decisions.
Ans: History noted.
Considering your age 35 years, trying to conceive since, one year and few test done, one of which suggest possibility of tubal blockage, there are various modalities of treatment.
Firstly, you can do laparoscopy to note the severity if blockage and do tubal cannulation.
Tubal cannulation is often the first line of treatment for patients with blocked fallopian tubes because it's a non-invasive procedure that's widely available.
Tubal cannulation is a procedure that can unblock fallopian tubes and is highly successful for proximal tubal blockages, with a success rate of over 80%. However, it may not be successful for all patients and is not recommended for distal tubal occlusions.
This procedure if successful can avoid IVF procedure. Laparoscopy has…
Yes, before ivf get all your blood test, ecg, 2 D echo, xray chest to rule out any illness
Same with your husband to get semen analysis and viral markers with blood sugars to be done.

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Dr Nandita

Dr Nandita Palshetkar  |36 Answers  |Ask -

Gynaecologist, IVF expert - Answered on Dec 26, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Dec 17, 2024Hindi
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Hello Doctor, I’m in my late 20s, and lately, I’ve been feeling like something’s off with my body. My periods either show up way too early, sometimes not at all for months. And, I’ve been putting on weight even though I haven’t changed my diet or exercise routine. My skin has also turned into a battlefield with acne all over, which I never used to have before. My cousin, who’s around my age, just found out she has PCOS, and her mom (my aunt) went through something similar when she was younger. Now, I’m scared because I’ve been hearing all these horror stories about how it can affect fertility, and I’m not even married yet. What if it’s a family thing and I end up facing the same problems? My mom says, ‘Don’t worry, it’ll be fine,’ but I can’t stop thinking about it. Should I see a gynecologist, or is there another kind of doctor I should be visiting? What tests should I do to get to the bottom of this before it gets worse? Honestly, I’m feeling overwhelmed and just want to know what’s going on before it’s too late.
Ans: Hello, noted your concerns
You are in late 20’s with irregular periods, acne, weight gain,
You are undergoing hormonal imbalance
We need to do certain blood test like
CBC, tsh prolactin fasting insulin level
Hba1c, testosterone level
DHEA, LH FSH ESTRADIOL LEVEL
Amd AMH level to check for fertility level
Usg pelvis to rule out
Pcos
The mainstay treatment. For pcos is lifestyle changes
1) Daily exercise, walks. Zumba, running
2) Good nutritious food with proteins, vitamins, minerals, low carbs and fats
3) good adequate sleep 7 to 8 hours
4) stress management: yoga meditation, breathing exercise
5) supplements to controls effects of pcos
6) low dose OC PILLS TO regularize the cycles

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