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33 year old earning 1 lac monthly, wants to build 2 cr corpus by 50, how efficient is his investment strategy?

Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |7072 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Jul 29, 2024

Ramalingam Kalirajan has over 23 years of experience in mutual funds and financial planning.
He has an MBA in finance from the University of Madras and is a certified financial planner.
He is the director and chief financial planner at Holistic Investment, a Chennai-based firm that offers financial planning and wealth management advice.... more
Mandeep Question by Mandeep on Jul 29, 2024Hindi
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I am 33 year old , monthly salary 1 lac, I have 8 lac In MF till date invested in ( hdfc mid cap - 1500, hdfc small cap - 1500, hdfc index fund - 1500, Dsp black rock tax saver - 2000, Kotak gold fund - 1000,ICICI opportunity fund- 2000, edielwiess debt fund- 1000), also I have opened wife portfolio where ( sbi index fund- 1000, quant small cap - 1000 monthly SIPs), total SIP amnt is 12500, wife is housewife. I have ppf 1.30lac, NPS- 1.32lac, PF balance - 5lac. I have 3 year old son, pls suggest how it more can be efficient and what I want to have around 2 cr at the age of 50

Ans: Evaluating Your Current Investments
You currently have a diversified portfolio across mutual funds, PPF, NPS, and PF. Here’s an analysis of your situation:

Mutual Fund Investments
Current Allocation:

HDFC Mid Cap Fund
HDFC Small Cap Fund
HDFC Index Fund
DSP BlackRock Tax Saver
Kotak Gold Fund
ICICI Opportunity Fund
Edelweiss Debt Fund
Considerations:

Diversification:

You have a good mix of mid-cap, small-cap, index, and debt funds. This diversification helps manage risk.
Index Funds:

While index funds offer broad market exposure, they might not always outperform actively managed funds, especially in volatile markets.
Gold Funds:

Kotak Gold Fund can be a good hedge against inflation but keep the allocation minimal.
Tax Savings:

DSP BlackRock Tax Saver is useful for tax benefits under Section 80C.
Wife’s Portfolio
Current Allocation:

SBI Index Fund
Quant Small Cap Fund
Considerations:

Index Fund:

As noted earlier, index funds offer broad exposure but may lack the potential for higher returns compared to actively managed funds.
Small Cap Fund:

A good choice for potentially higher returns but comes with increased risk.
Asset Allocation Strategy
Investment Efficiency
Review SIP Amounts:

Your current SIP total is Rs. 12,500. To reach your goal of Rs. 2 crores by age 50, consider increasing your SIPs.
Current Mutual Fund Distribution:

You might want to balance between equity and debt based on your risk tolerance and investment horizon.
Rebalance Portfolio:

Review performance annually. If any fund consistently underperforms, consider reallocating or switching.
PPF, NPS, and PF
PPF:

Continue contributing to PPF for tax benefits and a safe return. It's a good long-term investment.
NPS:

NPS is a good option for retirement savings with tax benefits. Ensure you're contributing regularly.
PF:

PF is a stable investment with guaranteed returns. Maintain contributions as it provides a safety net.
Achieving Your Goal of Rs. 2 Crores by Age 50
Increase SIP Amount:

To achieve Rs. 2 crores, you might need to increase your SIP amount. This depends on the returns you expect from your investments.
Invest in High-Growth Funds:

Focus on actively managed equity funds with a strong track record. They might offer higher returns compared to index funds.
Emergency Fund:

Ensure you have an emergency fund equivalent to 6-12 months of expenses. This protects against unexpected financial needs.
Final Insights
Reevaluate Investments:

Regularly review your investments and make adjustments based on performance and financial goals.
Consult a Certified Financial Planner:

Consider consulting a Certified Financial Planner for personalized advice and to optimize your investment strategy.
Focus on Long-Term Growth:

Stay committed to your long-term financial goals and avoid making impulsive investment decisions.
By taking these steps, you can efficiently work towards your goal of accumulating Rs. 2 crores by age 50. Regularly assess and adjust your investments to stay on track.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in
DISCLAIMER: The content of this post by the expert is the personal view of the rediffGURU. Users are advised to pursue the information provided by the rediffGURU only as a source of information to be as a point of reference and to rely on their own judgement when making a decision.
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Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Apr 11, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Apr 11, 2024Hindi
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Hello sir, I earn monthly as 1.84 lakh.I spend 60% of my salary in living expense and 40% as savings I spend 11000 in mutual funds which include 5000 in HDFC balanced advantage fund, 2000 in eledweiss mutual fund,3000 in motilal oswal midcap fund direct growth. Have added step up of 20% in each one,also I spend 10000 in NPS and 5000 in PPF every month. This all saving I have started last year. My age is 40 currently. I have a target to generate 2 cr alteast till I reach 60. Will this be possible with this much investment or not, if not how much should I invest monthly. Also I am not able to have emergency fund. How should I manage my financial planning. Also what can be source of passive income. I not good in share market or digital marketing stuffs. Please suggest
Ans: It's great that you're actively saving and investing for your future. However, to achieve your goal of accumulating ?2 crore by the time you're 60, you may need to adjust your investment strategy and consider a few factors:

Emergency Fund: It's crucial to have an emergency fund to cover unexpected expenses, such as medical emergencies or job loss. Aim to save at least 3-6 months' worth of living expenses in a liquid and easily accessible account.

Investment Allocation: While investing in mutual funds, consider diversifying your portfolio across different asset classes such as equity, debt, and hybrid funds to manage risk effectively. Also, review your investment choices periodically to ensure they align with your goals and risk tolerance.

Increasing Investments: To reach your target of ?2 crore by age 60, you may need to increase your monthly investments. Consider using a financial calculator or consulting a financial advisor to determine the monthly contribution required based on your expected rate of return and time horizon.

Passive Income Sources: Explore passive income streams such as rental income from real estate properties, dividends from stocks or mutual funds, or interest from fixed deposits or bonds. These sources can provide additional income without requiring active involvement.

Financial Planning: Consider consulting with a certified financial planner who can help you create a comprehensive financial plan tailored to your goals, risk tolerance, and financial situation. They can also provide guidance on optimizing your investments and achieving financial security.

Remember, achieving long-term financial goals requires discipline, patience, and periodic review of your financial plan. By making informed decisions and staying committed to your goals, you can work towards building a secure financial future.

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Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |7072 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on May 27, 2024

Money
My current age is 49 Years. I have my own house worth Rs. 90 lakhs, one Flat worth Rs, 50 L, two small Bunglows at Bolpur worth Rs. 25 L, and 12 katthas of Land worth Rs. 40 L. Having no loan in the market. Through mutual funds I have invested Rs. 50 L. Its market value is 1.25 Cr. Presently I am running (1) SIP of Rs. 4,80, 000 p.a., (2) PPF of Rs. 1,50,000 /- p.a. (3) LIC (Market Linked) Rs. 2.25,000/- p.a. and (4) SBI Life Rs. 6,00,000 p.a. LICs are going to be matured by 2027. Would like to make a total fund og 5 Cr by 2030. So that after retirement at my age of 55, I can earn at least Rs. 3 L p.m. SIPs are : (1) SBI Blue Chip Fund Regular Plan Growth Rs. 60,000 p.a. (2) SBI Focussed Equity Fund Regular Growth Rs. 60,000 p.a. (3) SBI Magnum Global Fund Regular Plan Growth Rs. 60,000 p.a. (4) SBI Magnum Midcap Fund Regular Plan Growth Rs. 60,000 p.a. (5) SBI Nifty 50 Equal Weight Index Fund Regular Plan Growth Rs. 1,00,000 p.a.
Ans: Evaluating Your Current Financial Situation
At 49 years old, you have significant assets and investments. Your primary goals are to accumulate Rs. 5 crore by 2030 and ensure a monthly income of Rs. 3 lakh post-retirement. Let's break down your current assets and investments:

Real Estate Holdings:

House: Rs. 90 lakh
Flat: Rs. 50 lakh
Two bungalows at Bolpur: Rs. 25 lakh
12 katthas of land: Rs. 40 lakh
Financial Investments:

Mutual funds: Rs. 50 lakh invested, current market value Rs. 1.25 crore
SIPs: Rs. 4,80,000 annually
PPF: Rs. 1,50,000 annually
LIC (Market Linked): Rs. 2,25,000 annually
SBI Life: Rs. 6,00,000 annually
Financial Goals and Analysis
You aim to reach a total corpus of Rs. 5 crore by 2030. You also want to secure a monthly income of Rs. 3 lakh after retirement at age 55.

Strategic Investment Plan
To achieve your goals, it's essential to optimize your current investments and ensure they align with your risk tolerance and time horizon.

Reviewing Mutual Fund Investments
Your SIPs are well-diversified across various categories. However, it's crucial to evaluate their performance regularly and make adjustments as needed.

Current SIPs:

SBI Blue Chip Fund: Rs. 60,000 p.a.
SBI Focused Equity Fund: Rs. 60,000 p.a.
SBI Magnum Global Fund: Rs. 60,000 p.a.
SBI Magnum Midcap Fund: Rs. 60,000 p.a.
SBI Nifty 50 Equal Weight Index Fund: Rs. 1,00,000 p.a.
Suggested Adjustments:
SBI Blue Chip Fund: Increase SIP to Rs. 1,00,000 p.a.
SBI Focused Equity Fund: Maintain Rs. 60,000 p.a.
SBI Magnum Global Fund: Increase SIP to Rs. 1,00,000 p.a.
SBI Magnum Midcap Fund: Increase SIP to Rs. 1,00,000 p.a.
Add a Multi-Cap Fund: Allocate Rs. 60,000 p.a.
Add a Debt Fund: Allocate Rs. 60,000 p.a. for stability and risk mitigation.
Optimizing PPF Contributions
PPF is a safe and tax-efficient investment. Continue your annual contribution of Rs. 1,50,000. It offers steady returns and is an excellent tool for long-term wealth accumulation.

Evaluating Life Insurance Policies
Your LIC and SBI Life policies are significant commitments. Given their maturity in 2027, you can re-evaluate them to see if they meet your financial goals.

LIC Market Linked:

Annual Premium: Rs. 2,25,000
Maturity: 2027
SBI Life:

Annual Premium: Rs. 6,00,000
Consider the following:

Review Policy Performance: Evaluate if the returns are meeting your expectations.
Term Insurance: If you need life cover, a term insurance policy might be more cost-effective. This could free up funds for other investments.
Investment Strategy Post-Maturity of LIC
Once your LIC policies mature in 2027, you will have additional funds. Reinvest these into mutual funds or other high-return instruments to grow your corpus further.

Asset Allocation and Diversification
Balancing risk and return is crucial. Here’s a suggested asset allocation strategy:

Equity Funds (60-70%): Continue and increase SIPs in high-performing mutual funds.
Debt Funds (20-30%): Add debt funds for stability.
PPF (10-20%): Continue contributions for safe, tax-free returns.
Projected Growth and Future Value
Assuming an average annual return of 12% on your mutual fund investments, let's estimate the future value of your portfolio.

Mutual Funds:

Current Value: Rs. 1.25 crore
Annual SIPs: Increased to Rs. 4.80 lakh
Additional Lump Sum from LIC Maturity
Using a compound interest calculator, we can project significant growth. Regular reviews and adjustments will help stay on track.

Contingency Fund
Maintain an emergency fund equivalent to 6-12 months of expenses. This ensures financial stability in case of unexpected events.

Retirement Income Strategy
To secure Rs. 3 lakh monthly post-retirement, consider a mix of:

Systematic Withdrawal Plan (SWP): From mutual funds to provide regular income.
Debt Funds: For steady returns with low risk.
Post-Retirement Investments: Explore Senior Citizens’ Savings Scheme (SCSS) and other safe options.
Regular Review and Adjustment
Financial markets and personal circumstances change. Regularly review and adjust your portfolio to ensure it aligns with your goals and risk tolerance.

Conclusion
By optimizing your current investments and making strategic adjustments, you can achieve your goal of Rs. 5 crore by 2030 and secure a monthly income of Rs. 3 lakh post-retirement. Here’s a summary of the action plan:

Increase SIP contributions in high-performing funds.
Review and potentially replace LIC policies with term insurance.
Continue PPF contributions.
Reinvest LIC maturity proceeds into mutual funds.
Maintain an emergency fund.
Regularly review and adjust your investments.
Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in

..Read more

Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |7072 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Oct 21, 2024

Money
Dear sir, I am 50 years old and working in private sector MNC 1.5 Lakhs on hand. My job security is very less. I have two kids aged 18, 14 years old. My wife is housewife. I have 80L in Mutual funds and 20L in stocks, Bank deposits 40L. I am investing in SIP in below Mutual funds all direct growth around 57000 pm. CR Bule chip fund, MA Large and Midcap, HDFC smallcap each 5000 pm (15000) Invesco Infra, JM Value fund, Nippon India Multicap, Small cap, Parag parekh Flexi cap, Quant Small cap, Mid cap each 6000 pm (42000), all these SIPs started recently from June 2024. Some Lumpsum in Axis smallcap 6L, Bandan core Equity 3L, CR Smallcap 8L, DSP smallcap 4L,HSBC Flexicap 3.5, HSBC Smallcap 3L, ICICI Pru Infra 3.5L, Value discovery 3L, Invesco Large & Midcap 2L, JM Flexicap 1L, Motilal Oswal Midcap 8L, SBI Bluechip 7L, Infrastructure 2L, Sundaram Smallcap 3L My expenses per month are 1.2 Lakh. I don't have loans/EMIs. Please advice me for my retirement life which need at least 1.5L per month, my kids education expenses, and also advice to my Portfolio. Thanks and regards, Yours sincerely, Purushotham Thati
Ans: First, you have done well in accumulating Rs 80 lakh in mutual funds and Rs 20 lakh in stocks. Your Rs 40 lakh in bank deposits also provides liquidity for any emergency needs. Your monthly SIPs, totalling Rs 57,000, are a step in the right direction, showing a commitment to long-term wealth creation.

However, job security is a concern, and it is wise to assess the stability of your finances. You aim to ensure Rs 1.5 lakh per month for retirement and also cover your children's education expenses. This is achievable with careful planning.

Assessment of Mutual Fund Portfolio

You have spread your SIPs across multiple mutual funds, with Rs 57,000 allocated monthly. However, this spread across many funds can lead to overlapping, reducing the diversification benefits.

Consolidate Fund Choices: You are invested in too many funds, particularly in the small and mid-cap categories. It’s better to focus on a few quality funds rather than spreading across too many. Funds with overlapping themes might dilute returns and increase volatility.

Rebalance Your Portfolio: Your current SIP choices, especially in small-cap and mid-cap funds, are aggressive. These categories can be volatile, particularly if markets face a downturn. For a person nearing retirement age, a balanced approach is better. You may want to shift some investments into large-cap or flexi-cap funds, which are relatively less volatile.

Actively Managed Funds: Investing in actively managed funds through a Certified Financial Planner (CFP) can give you access to professional expertise and ongoing advice. These funds, with the right guidance, have the potential to outperform and provide you with strategies to navigate different market cycles.

Lumpsum Investments Insight

Your lumpsum investments of Rs 54.5 lakh are heavily concentrated in small-cap funds. Small-cap funds have high growth potential but also come with significant risks. As you approach retirement, this heavy exposure could be dangerous if the market does not perform well. Here’s how you can rebalance:

Review Small-Cap Exposure: Reallocate some of your lumpsum investments from small-cap funds to more balanced categories. This reduces risk while ensuring growth.

Infrastructure Funds: Your investment in infrastructure funds also seems concentrated. This sector can be cyclical. It's better to diversify into more stable sectors or broader market funds for consistent returns.

Retirement Planning

Your goal of securing Rs 1.5 lakh per month during retirement is realistic. But you need to ensure a balanced approach to achieve this. Here's how you can strengthen your retirement planning:

Shift Focus to Stability: As you approach retirement, your portfolio should gradually shift to include more stable, income-generating assets. A balanced or large-cap-oriented mutual fund will offer better stability compared to small caps. You can also consider debt funds or hybrid funds to provide a buffer against market fluctuations.

SIP Continuation: Continue your SIPs but consider moving some of the small-cap allocations into more conservative, large-cap funds. This strategy will help safeguard your retirement corpus from short-term market risks.

Children's Education Planning

With two kids, aged 18 and 14, education costs are likely to be a significant financial responsibility. Here's how you can address this:

Allocate Funds Specifically for Education: Consider creating a separate investment strategy for your children's education. You can explore education-focused mutual funds or a combination of debt funds and equity funds to ensure a steady flow of funds when needed. For your elder child, since education costs may be more immediate, less risky investments, such as debt funds, could be beneficial.

Maintain Liquidity: Keep a portion of your Rs 40 lakh bank deposits available for education expenses. This ensures you are not forced to redeem investments during market downturns.

Job Security and Emergency Funds

With your concerns about job security, having an emergency fund is essential. Here's how you can protect yourself:

Increase Emergency Fund: You have Rs 40 lakh in bank deposits, which is good. However, ensure you keep at least six months' worth of expenses (around Rs 7-8 lakh) in liquid, easily accessible instruments like a savings account or liquid funds. This will cover any unforeseen expenses or job loss situations.

Insurance Review: Ensure you have adequate health and life insurance cover. As your wife is a homemaker, you are the primary breadwinner, so it is important to protect your family in case of any unfortunate event.

Tax Considerations

The taxation of mutual funds is another critical factor. Here’s a brief overview of how taxes will affect your investments:

Equity Mutual Funds: Long-term capital gains (LTCG) above Rs 1.25 lakh are taxed at 12.5%. Short-term capital gains (STCG) are taxed at 20%.

Debt Mutual Funds: For debt mutual funds, both LTCG and STCG will be taxed as per your income tax slab. This can significantly affect your returns if not planned well.

Ensure that you track your investments and redeem only when needed to avoid hefty tax implications. A CFP can help structure your investments to minimize tax liabilities.

Final Insights

Here are the key points to keep in mind for a secure financial future:

Simplify and Rebalance: Reduce the number of funds in your portfolio and shift focus towards large-cap and flexi-cap funds for stability.

Education Planning: Set aside a portion of your investments for your children’s education to ensure their future without straining your retirement corpus.

Retirement Strategy: Begin transitioning your portfolio towards more stable investments, like large-cap or balanced funds, as you near retirement.

Tax Efficiency: Plan your withdrawals carefully to minimize tax outflow and preserve your wealth.

Emergency Fund: Keep sufficient liquidity to manage any job loss or unexpected expenses.

By carefully balancing your portfolio, ensuring liquidity, and planning for both retirement and education, you can build a financially secure future for your family.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in

https://www.youtube.com/@HolisticInvestment

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Ravi

Ravi Mittal  |428 Answers  |Ask -

Dating, Relationships Expert - Answered on Nov 21, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Nov 15, 2024Hindi
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Relationship
I am a 25 year old girl. I have good job and happy career wise. I am in a relationship with a boy who is very career oriented, and runs from the marriage topic also. My parents are now behind to me to get married. I am also interested in getting married and settle in my. When I told my boyfriend about this. He gets furious. He don’t want to communicate with me on this. He don’t give any attention to my problem. He says if you really love me then you will love and you will do whatever needed to be done. Now everything is on me.I am very confused what to do. I can’t tell my parents about him, as he is not ready. I also have a fear, that this boy is not going to marry me, so am I leaving good boys which my parents are showing me. Am I already late...what if I don’t get anyone, will I have to compromise in my life If I will delay. Please help!!
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
Let me start with the most important thing- you are far from late. You are only 25; I would say this is your time to focus on your career and live a little. But if you are ready for marriage, then that is great too. But do not ever think that it's too late. It isn't even a little late. If anything, in today's day and age, it's early.

Now coming to your boyfriend- have you ever asked him if he has any plans to get married or if he intends to continue this relationship without ever committing to marriage? It's important that you discuss this. And his dialogue, "if you really love me then you will love and you will do whatever needed to be done" doesn't make any sense because you can tell him the same. I suggest you speak to him openly and let him know that you want to get married- if not right now, but somewhere down the line you want marriage. If his intentions are not the same, he should let you know so that you can move on and find someone who shares the same outlook as you. And, to be honest, not paying attention to your problems is concerning. In a relationship, two people should help each other out in times of trouble.

Please have the talk and reconsider the relationship according to how it goes.

Best Wishes.

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Ravi

Ravi Mittal  |428 Answers  |Ask -

Dating, Relationships Expert - Answered on Nov 21, 2024

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Ravi Mittal  |428 Answers  |Ask -

Dating, Relationships Expert - Answered on Nov 21, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Nov 21, 2024Hindi
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Relationship
I (27M) have recently started searching for prospects through Arranged Marriage Platforms. I got connected with a Lady (25F) & we seemed to be getting along quite well, through chatting & phone calls. When we were planning to meet in person, for our first Date, she picked a place which is one of the most expensive ones in our City & just a single Date over there may cost us around ?10 Thousand. Though, I am earning pretty well (?30Lakh/Annum), I am reluctant to spend so much amount on our First Date, whilst we are still in the process of getting to know each other. If I'd been Married to her, I'd be willing to spend that much for celebrating our Wedding Anniversary. But this is just our First Date & I am not even sure whether we'd be getting Married or not. The Date is scheduled for next Month & I'm still in Dilemma, whether I should request her to meet up at a more affordable venue or ask her to split the expenses, equally or proportionate to our Earning (She earns just around ?6 Lakh/Annum). I'm afraid that being so Straight-forward & upfront about Money Matters, at this stage, might give her a negative impression about me. She seems to be having a lot of Materialistic Expectations from me, as I earn much more than her & she has been hinting me about her expectations such as Expensive Gifts & Vacations abroad. Even though I am a person who's very cautious & disciplined with Money, I'd be glad to spend generously, for the happiness of my Life Partner, but not at this stage, when we haven't even committed to each other. Please suggest me, how can I handle this situation without coming off as too miserly? Moreover, I'm also planning to discuss some important matters, such as how we'd be handling our Finances in the Future. But I am worried, whether it would be appropriate to bring up this matter, in our very first personal meet-up? I'm afraid that she might Judge me as too Money-minded & I might lose out on a suitable match. Please Help me.
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
Your concerns are completely valid. Splurging, especially at this stage, is unnecessary. Good connections can be built anywhere; expensive places play no part in it. Also, being disciplined about money is the right approach.

I understand that you are worried about coming off miserly, but you are not. You are merely being responsible. You can suggest another more affordable place and see how she reacts. If she is okay with it, then great. If not, then you should rethink this match. You don't want to marry someone who is in it for the money. Now, coming to discussing how to split the finances, I would suggest you wait a bit. A first date might not be the right place for it. If all goes well, and you think this woman can be a suitable match, bring it up politely on the second or third date, to have clarity on it early on. For instance, you can casually start by giving an example of a friend who recently got married- something like, "Rohan's wife takes care of the groceries and stuff, while he pays off the bill." And then mention that you were wondering how you two should split it if you happen to get married. It is a reasonable question and should not show you off as money-minded. It's always best to discuss these important matters in the initial stages to avoid any conflict in the future.

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Ravi

Ravi Mittal  |428 Answers  |Ask -

Dating, Relationships Expert - Answered on Nov 21, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Nov 20, 2024Hindi
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Ravi

Ravi Mittal  |428 Answers  |Ask -

Dating, Relationships Expert - Answered on Nov 21, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Nov 20, 2024
Relationship
Hello, I am married for 4 years. And someone from my office loves me. He wants me to love him also even if I am married. That office colleague take too much efforts for me, he listens everything about me, he cares about me. But my husband only focused on his work. So I want love, that boy is the best for the love. But loving another man even if you have husband is cheating. I don't know but I feel that I want both of them and I am confused about it. I also love that man from my office. I am so much confused.
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
I understand that you are feeling undervalued by your husband but the "I want both of them" approach has never worked out well for anyone, especially in an exclusive relationship. You have a few options here-
You speak to your husband about how the lack of attention from him is affecting you and work on it with him.
Tell him openly about this man and let him know that there's a slight chance that you might develop feelings for him if your husband continues to pay all his focus on work and none on you. This could shake him up from his slumber and help him realize that he has not been fair to you.
Opt for separation- if you do not have an open marriage, you cannot have both of the men. It isn't moral to do this behind your partner's back.

I strongly suggest you consider doing the first option. Communicate your feelings of loneliness to your husband and seek help from a marriage counselor. It can do wonders for your relationship.

Best Wishes.

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Dr Shakeeb Ahmed

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Physiotherapist - Answered on Nov 21, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Nov 19, 2024Hindi
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Hello Dr.Shakeeb, I’m a 55 yrs male, had stents implanted in 2020 because of bad food habits and lack of regular movement, things have improved since then with better control on food habits. My problem is belly fat which is embarrassing and my weight is 77kgs, I was on knee braces for last 30 days bcoz of a slight ligament strain, so not able to do strenuous exercises. Pls suggest a workable regime for belly fat elimination considering my case history.
Ans: Hello Sir. Thank you for your query. Reducing belly fat requires a combination of calorie control, low-impact exercises, and lifestyle changes, tailored to your health history. Start by maintaining a slight calorie deficit of 200-300 kcal/day, focusing on a balanced diet rich in lean proteins, complex carbs, and healthy fats while avoiding sugary and processed foods. Drink 2-3 liters of water daily to stay hydrated. Engage in low-impact activities like brisk walking for 30-40 minutes daily, which is gentle on the knees and heart-friendly. Incorporate simple core-strengthening exercises such as pelvic tilts, seated knee lifts, and standing side bends to activate abdominal muscles without straining your knees. As your ligament strain heals, consult Physiotherapist about gradually increasing exercise intensity, including light resistance training. Prioritize 7-8 hours of quality sleep and manage stress through mindfulness to lower cortisol levels, which can contribute to belly fat. Small, frequent meals can keep your metabolism active, and tracking progress through waist measurements rather than just weight will help you stay motivated. These adjustments will promote gradual, sustainable fat loss while ensuring safety and heart health. I wish you healthy and active lifestyle.

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Anu

Anu Krishna  |1318 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Nov 21, 2024

Relationship
Dear Anu Krishna, I'm 48 married with 2 kids daughter in 10th and son in 5th. Wife works as a VP in a large firm. Since post COVID there has been almost no intimacy. I tried to talk to her and she says that I'm a sex maniac. I said once in six months at least she says not interested. She s fit in good health exercises and all tests are ok. Last year my friend's wife informed me about their private WhatsApp messages and I was shocked. We go on tours and trips and functions and everything externally is normal. I buy her gifts and we go out to restaurants etc. Everything except intimacy. I've tried to talk about 50 times but she doesn't want to talk not seek any help. Infact the signs of this started from 2016. She's 43 now. I m thinking of now seperating from her. Im really fed up. Nothing is working, and she's adamant. I've pulled on for kids but maybe I can be together for a few more years. I can't live with her forever. You generally ask people to get help and talk etc which is done and tried and yet no solution. Can you agree for once that there is a genuine case to not continue It's my life I know but I think I'm 100% right and that i have hit the end of the road. Inhold you in high regard hence writing to you Sameer
Ans: Dear Sachin,
Thank you for your kind and respectful acknowledgement of me.
Now,
You wrote:
Last year my friend's wife informed me about their private WhatsApp messages and I was shocked. - What was shocking? You have not shared this!

Lack of interest in sex can be due to:
- change in hormones
- boredom in the bedroom routine
- lack of intimacy outside the bedroom

Now, what I must agree on is something that we can keep aside, yeah? My job is to try and guide people to put things together of course, if that's what they want. You seem to have already believed that nothing can work; how can anyone guide you? When you claim that you nothing is working, I will still ask you, "How do you know that you have tried everything to know that nothing is working?"

Also, if you have decided to separate, what more can I suggest? You feel that you are 100% right, BUT you know what: If you actually were 100% right, you would not be here checking in with me...Just playing the mirror here for you.
I still would suggest that you work on your marriage; communicate and rebuild...it's a long path BUT the fruits of it can be amazing!

All the best!
Anu Krishna
Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
Drop in: www.unfear.io
Reach me: Facebook: anukrish07/ AND LinkedIn: anukrishna-joyofserving/

...Read more

Anu

Anu Krishna  |1318 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Nov 21, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Nov 18, 2024Hindi
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Relationship
Hi , I am married 2.5 years ago to a man , who is very less in education compared to me , this marriage was done as a compromise or in worries about my future as my parents are no more .. He and his family is average in all case ..cleanliness, hygeiene , social relations, religious practices , education , self respect , financial well being ... all these things are either meaningless for them or they vary poor in those . Nor even they have moral values , as they have cheated me by hiding my husband's age to me . I told them that we strongly believe in astrology and will not go without it . Still they gave me wrong information about his age and he is very elder to me .As I am well educated , employed and self dependant. So they somehow trapped me for marriage. After 3-4 months of marriage my husband was diagnosed (a type of oral cancer) caused due to consuming gutkha and ciggarettes. He lied and denied to have any disease still i started his medication . In some time I lost my job also still continued his treatment , tried to help him in his business , it made a big impact on my sqving too :( But because of his careless business practice , it didnt work for him. Also I paid many times his car's EMI . And supported in all types of expenses be it house hold , his medication or business . He has parental properties in village but they are hardly using it for their own use and wanted to use my money till now . As I now denied to give more money , now they have started looking to sell or rent / lease their property for their use . I have spent lot of money on them , I hardly believe they will try to pay it out fully to me or give some part of property for my safe future now :( I am now 43 and have no children . At other hand my brother is also alone( even being his wife and 2 sons) Wife is quarrelsome and has a history of false case of dowry on my brother and due to this my brother and my family sufferered a lot , its been 20 years now . But this has tortured my brother me and my mother a lot in past .Sis-in-law never let my nephews to stay or sit for some time with us (me or my mother ). And now as my both nephews have grown up my sis-in-law told them lie as if she was victim and , we were the culprit . Children were innocent , they didnt knew the fact , hence taking mother's side now. I thought that as my sis-in-law doesn't like us so unwillingly I decided to marry with a compromise , thinking that after my marriage all will be fine in brother's home , But nothing improved. And now my brother , after my marriage is emotionally alone at home , I feel very sorry about this . I want to go back and take care of my brother , as now he is 53 and emotionally very weak , diabetic and suffering other disease too . Sis-in-law is least interested in his health , care .. so as her children. Going back to parental (it is my father's home, so i also have legal right on that property )home and leaving husband is not so easy, .. Elder Nephew and sis-in-law can become very violent as they are always . I dont want to endanger my brother's health and if I dont go then also .. brother is taking care of him alone ..that too very casually ..how can i make all things correct . Please suggest .
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
Hello! Excuse me...
Take care of yourself first before trying to save someone else.
Your brother is a grown man and knows what is to be done. Allow him to process his life's situations. By stepping into it especially in your state of mind will make things worse. Also, if you want guidance on this, kindly post another question else it will get confusing for all of us here.

First think of what you must do to make things better for yourself. Ask yourself whether you are interested in continuing the marriage. A lot of your time, money and energy has been invested in it and based on a lie. You have no clue what else they have lied about...do you want a marriage that is standing on a bed of lies? is it possible for you to trust your husband and his family all over again? What can they do so that you place trust in them again?

If this is not possible, the you are in a place where you need to make decisions about your marriage and your life in general.

All the best!
Anu Krishna
Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
Drop in: www.unfear.io
Reach me: Facebook: anukrish07/ AND LinkedIn: anukrishna-joyofserving/

...Read more

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