Home > Money > Question
Need Expert Advice?Our Gurus Can Help
Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |7336 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on May 17, 2024

Ramalingam Kalirajan has over 23 years of experience in mutual funds and financial planning.
He has an MBA in finance from the University of Madras and is a certified financial planner.
He is the director and chief financial planner at Holistic Investment, a Chennai-based firm that offers financial planning and wealth management advice.... more
Asked by Anonymous - May 13, 2024Hindi
Listen
Money

I have only 3 years left for my job and planning to quit in Dec24.I have no pension and my PF and Gratuity will amount to Rs.30lacs.Let me know how the investment plan where I can get atleast 20000 per month

Ans: Crafting Your Retirement Income Strategy: A Comprehensive Approach
Your proactive planning for retirement with a lump sum of Rs. 30 lakhs from PF and Gratuity demonstrates foresight and commitment. Let's design an investment plan focused on generating a monthly income of at least Rs. 20,000, ensuring financial stability during your post-employment phase.

Understanding Your Financial Situation
Congratulations on your impending retirement! It's commendable that you're taking steps to secure your financial future despite not having a pension. Your PF and Gratuity form a solid foundation for building your retirement corpus.

Assessing Income Needs and Investment Horizon
Generating a monthly income of Rs. 20,000 requires a well-thought-out investment strategy tailored to your financial goals and risk tolerance. With a three-year investment horizon until retirement, prioritizing stability and consistent income generation is key.

Leveraging Systematic Withdrawal Plans (SWP)
Integrating SWP into your investment plan can provide a reliable income stream post-retirement. SWP allows you to systematically withdraw a predetermined amount from your mutual fund investments at regular intervals, ensuring a steady cash flow.

Allocating Your Retirement Corpus
Fixed Income Instruments: Allocate a significant portion of your corpus to fixed income instruments such as Senior Citizen Savings Scheme (SCSS), Post Office Monthly Income Scheme (POMIS), or fixed deposits (FDs) to provide stability and regular income.

Debt Mutual Funds: Consider investing a portion of your corpus in debt mutual funds with SWP facilities. These funds offer potential for higher returns compared to traditional fixed income instruments while maintaining a conservative risk profile.

Balanced Funds: Explore balanced funds that offer a mix of equity and debt investments. These funds provide growth potential along with regular income distributions, suitable for retirees seeking a balanced approach.

Regular Monitoring and Adjustments
Regularly review the performance of your investment portfolio and make necessary adjustments based on market conditions and your evolving financial needs. Rebalancing the portfolio periodically ensures it remains aligned with your retirement income goals.

Conclusion
By leveraging SWP alongside a diversified portfolio of fixed income instruments, debt mutual funds, and balanced funds, you can achieve your goal of generating a monthly income of Rs. 20,000 post-retirement. Prioritize stability, consistency, and regular monitoring to ensure a comfortable and financially secure retirement.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,
Chief Financial Planner,
www.holisticinvestment.in
DISCLAIMER: The content of this post by the expert is the personal view of the rediffGURU. Users are advised to pursue the information provided by the rediffGURU only as a source of information to be as a point of reference and to rely on their own judgement when making a decision.
Money

You may like to see similar questions and answers below

Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |7336 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Apr 17, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Jan 30, 2024Hindi
Listen
Money
Hi, i m 30/f earning 60k per month. Currently investing 5-10k in local chit fund, no further investment. My goal is for a job free life at the age of 40-42. Pls suggest good investment plan (ready to invest 20-30k overall per month).
Ans: I can't recommend chit funds as an investment avenue due to potential risks and lack of regulation. Here's a roadmap for a job-free life by 40-42, considering your increased investment potential of 20-30k monthly:

1. Calculate Your Corpus:

Estimate your desired monthly income after quitting your job at 40-42. Factor in inflation over the next 8-10 years. Let's assume you target a monthly income of Rs. 40,000 in today's value (adjustable based on your needs).
Multiply your desired monthly income by 12 (months) to get your annual income target (Rs. 40,000 x 12 = Rs. 4,80,000 per year).
Consider the number of years you want to live on this passive income (retirement age onwards). Let's assume 25 years (adjustable based on your life expectancy).
Multiply your annual income target by the number of years to estimate the total corpus needed (Rs. 4,80,000/year x 25 years = Rs. 1,20,00,000).
2. Analyze Your Current Savings:

You're already investing Rs. 5,000-10,000 monthly. With a planned increase to Rs. 20,000-30,000, this signifies a positive saving pattern.
3. Investment Strategy:

Given your long-term goal (8-10 years), a mix of equity and debt instruments is recommended for growth potential and stability. Here's a sample allocation:
Equity Mutual Funds (60%): Invest in a mix of large-cap and multi-cap equity funds for capital appreciation. You can invest through a Systematic Investment Plan (SIP) to rupee-cost average and reduce risk.
Debt Mutual Funds (40%): Invest in debt funds like short-term or income funds for stability and regular income. This can act as a buffer.
4. Investment Options:

Consider opening an investment account with a reputable broker or Robo-advisor. They can recommend suitable mutual funds based on your risk tolerance and goals.
Explore options like Equity Linked Savings Schemes (ELSS) for tax benefits alongside regular mutual funds. However, remember ELSS also comes with market risk.
5. Review and Rebalance:

Regularly review your portfolio performance (at least annually) and rebalance if needed to maintain your desired asset allocation (60% equity, 40% debt).
Important Note:

This is a general framework, and consulting a SEBI-registered Investment Advisor is recommended. They can consider your specific financial situation, risk tolerance, and goals to create a tailored investment plan.
Here's a quick recap:

Calculate your target corpus.
Analyze your current savings.
Develop an investment strategy with asset allocation.
Choose suitable investment options.
Review and rebalance your portfolio regularly.
By following these steps, increasing your investments, and seeking professional guidance, you can increase your chances of achieving your goal of a job-free life by 40-42.

Remember, this is a long-term plan, and discipline is key. Stay invested, be patient, and adapt your strategy as needed.

..Read more

Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |7336 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Aug 22, 2024

Listen
Money
I am 35 earning 27000 per month in state govt. service. I have 3 SIP of 1000 each. Two lumpsum investment of ?200000 in index fund.Post office FD of 500000 for 5 years incurring 7.4% interest monthly that will be used in SIP. Another 500000 in KVP that will double in 10 years. Now I want some plan to invest monthly so that I can fight inflation, save for future and even make a world tour before death.
Ans: Your financial foundation is solid. You’ve diversified across SIPs, FDs, and KVPs. You've invested in SIPs and hold Rs. 5,00,000 in both FD and KVP. These are good steps. But, relying on index funds and FDs alone may limit your growth. Let’s explore other options.

Re-evaluating Index Funds
Index funds are passive. They mirror the market but don’t outperform it. Actively managed funds, however, are guided by experts. They aim to beat the market, offering better growth potential. Consider shifting from index funds to actively managed funds. This could boost your returns significantly.

Benefits of Regular Funds
Direct funds seem cheaper, but they come with hidden challenges. They require constant monitoring and deep market knowledge. Regular funds, on the other hand, provide access to a Certified Financial Planner (CFP). A CFP guides you, ensuring your investments align with your goals. This professional advice often outweighs the slightly higher costs.

Monthly Investment Strategy
Given your goal to fight inflation and save for the future, diversifying further is crucial. Here’s a tailored monthly plan:

Equity Mutual Funds: Start with Rs. 10,000 in actively managed equity funds. These funds have the potential to deliver inflation-beating returns over the long term.

Balanced Funds: Allocate Rs. 5,000 to balanced funds. They combine equity and debt, offering stability with growth. This is ideal for someone in a secure government job.

Debt Funds: Invest Rs. 5,000 in debt funds. These are safer and less volatile. They ensure your portfolio has a cushion during market downturns.

Gold Funds: Consider investing Rs. 3,000 in gold funds. Gold acts as a hedge against inflation and market volatility. It’s a good addition to your diversified portfolio.

Emergency Fund: Set aside Rs. 2,000 monthly in a liquid fund. This fund is easily accessible in case of emergencies. Having quick access to cash is essential.

Adjusting Existing Investments
FD Interest for SIPs: You’ve planned to use your FD interest for SIPs. That’s wise. Ensure you direct this interest into diversified funds rather than just equity. This balances risk and return.

KVP Maturity: When your KVP matures, consider reinvesting the sum into equity mutual funds. This will ensure your money continues to grow at a pace faster than inflation.

Planning for Your World Tour
Your dream of a world tour is achievable with disciplined investing. Allocate a specific fund for this goal. Start a new SIP or RD dedicated to your travel fund. Even Rs. 3,000 per month over the next few years can accumulate into a significant amount.

Fighting Inflation
To effectively combat inflation, your portfolio must outpace it. Relying solely on FDs or KVPs won’t suffice. They offer safety but lower returns. Equity, balanced, and gold funds are better suited for long-term inflation-beating growth.

Saving for the Future
Your future savings strategy should be a mix of growth and safety. Equity funds for growth, balanced and debt funds for stability, and gold funds for diversification. This diversified approach helps protect and grow your wealth.

Final Insights
Your financial strategy is on the right track. With some adjustments, it can become even more robust. Shift from index funds to actively managed funds. Diversify your monthly investments across different asset classes. This ensures a balanced, growth-oriented portfolio. Your dreams, including the world tour, are within reach with disciplined planning.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in

..Read more

Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |7336 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Jul 03, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Jun 26, 2024Hindi
Money
I am NRE working at Gulf. Monthly income is 4 lacks.. I can save monthly 3.2 lacks monthly. My current funds 1.5 crs in Stock market equity all large cap sticks.. Tcs.. Infotech. Ltim.. LT.. Asain paints..tata chemicals.. Ltts,ICICI. Kotak Mahendra. NSC I have 1.5 crs.. FD 37 L. I am planning to quit job after 2 years. I need plan monthly income 1.2 lacks per month. Please advise me better plan...
Ans: It's fantastic to see you planning for early retirement with such clear goals. Your current savings and investments are impressive. Let's create a comprehensive plan to achieve your target monthly income of Rs 1.2 lakhs after you quit your job in 2 years.

Understanding Your Financial Goals
You aim to have a monthly income of Rs 1.2 lakhs after retirement. Currently, you have:

Stock Market Investments: Rs 1.5 crores in large-cap stocks.
NSC: Rs 1.5 crores.
Fixed Deposit: Rs 37 lakhs.
Monthly Savings: Rs 3.2 lakhs.
Evaluating Your Current Financial Situation
Stock Market Investments:

Large-cap stocks such as TCS, Infosys, L&T, Asian Paints, Tata Chemicals, LTTS, ICICI, and Kotak Mahindra.
Total value: Rs 1.5 crores.
Fixed Deposits:

Current value: Rs 37 lakhs.
NSC:

Current value: Rs 1.5 crores.
Increasing Your Monthly Income
1. Diversify Your Investments
While large-cap stocks are stable, diversification can help in achieving higher returns. Let's explore various investment options.

A. Mutual Funds

Mutual funds provide professional management and potential for higher returns. Consider the following types:

Equity Mutual Funds: Invest in stocks of various companies, offering high returns with moderate to high risk.
Large Cap Funds: Invest in well-established companies.
Mid Cap Funds: Invest in medium-sized companies with growth potential.
Small Cap Funds: Invest in smaller companies with high growth potential.
Hybrid Funds: Invest in both equity and debt instruments.
Balanced Advantage Funds: Dynamic allocation between equity and debt.
Aggressive Hybrid Funds: Higher allocation to equities.
B. Systematic Investment Plan (SIP)

SIPs allow you to invest a fixed amount regularly in mutual funds. This helps in rupee cost averaging and compounding returns over time.

C. Debt Funds

Debt funds invest in fixed income securities, providing stable returns with lower risk compared to equity funds.

Short-Term Debt Funds: Suitable for an investment horizon of 1-3 years.
Long-Term Debt Funds: Suitable for an investment horizon of 3-5 years.
D. Public Provident Fund (PPF)

PPF is a government-backed scheme offering attractive interest rates and tax benefits. It has a lock-in period of 15 years, making it suitable for long-term investments.

Invest up to Rs 1.5 lakhs per year: Maximize your investment to avail tax benefits under Section 80C.
E. Fixed Deposits and Debt Funds

While fixed deposits offer security, they have lower returns. Diversify by investing in debt funds for better returns with moderate risk.

Debt Mutual Funds: Suitable for short to medium-term goals. They offer better returns compared to fixed deposits.
Generating Passive Income
To reach your goal of Rs 1.2 lakhs per month, focus on generating passive income through various channels.

A. Dividend Income

Invest in dividend-paying stocks and mutual funds. Dividends provide regular income in addition to capital appreciation.

B. Interest Income

Invest in fixed income securities like bonds and debentures to generate regular interest income.

Risk Management
Diversifying your investments helps in managing risks. Here’s how you can balance your portfolio:

Equity Investments: 50% allocation in mutual funds and direct stocks.
Debt Investments: 30% allocation in debt mutual funds and fixed income securities.
Fixed Deposits and NSC: 20% allocation in fixed deposits and NSC.
Regular Review and Adjustment
Financial planning is dynamic. Regularly review and adjust your investments based on market conditions and your financial goals.

Annual Review: Review your financial plan at least once a year.
Adjust Investments: Adjust your investments based on changes in your financial goals, market conditions, and risk tolerance.
Tax Planning
Maximize tax-saving investments to reduce your tax liability and boost your savings.

Section 80C: Invest in PPF, EPF, ELSS, and other tax-saving instruments to avail tax benefits under Section 80C.
Section 80D: Avail tax benefits on health insurance premiums under Section 80D.
Insurance Planning
Adequate insurance coverage is essential to protect your family’s financial future.

Term Insurance: Provides financial security to your family in case of your untimely demise. Ensure your coverage is sufficient to cover your family’s needs.
Health Insurance: Covers medical expenses and protects your savings. Consider a family floater plan to cover yourself and your dependents.
Power of Compounding
The power of compounding works best when you start early and stay invested for a long time. The interest earned on your investments gets reinvested, which in turn earns more interest. This cycle continues, leading to exponential growth of your investment over time.

Final Insights
Achieving your retirement goals requires disciplined saving and investing. Here are some final insights to help you stay on track:

Start Early: The earlier you start investing, the more time your money has to grow.
Be Disciplined: Stick to your investment plan and avoid unnecessary expenditures.
Diversify: Diversify your investments to manage risk and ensure steady returns.
Seek Professional Advice: Consult a Certified Financial Planner (CFP) for personalized financial advice.
By following this comprehensive financial plan, you can ensure a secure and comfortable retirement.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in

..Read more

Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |7336 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Jul 17, 2024

Listen
Money
I am 50 years old privet sector employee, my job may be over coming 3 months. My investments value are, Demat account stocks= 60 Lakhs, MF, Flexi Cap = 40 L, Mid Cap =12L, Small Cap = 5L, FD=25L, PPF=20L will matured on 2031. Cash in hand 10L, Please suggest me correct investment plan to get 1.0L monthly. I have term plan for Rs 1.0Cr. and family mediclaim policy for rs. 25 L.
Ans: Current Financial Position
You have a strong financial foundation. Your investments and savings include:

Demat account stocks: Rs 60 Lakhs

Mutual Funds (Flexi Cap): Rs 40 Lakhs

Mutual Funds (Mid Cap): Rs 12 Lakhs

Mutual Funds (Small Cap): Rs 5 Lakhs

Fixed Deposit: Rs 25 Lakhs

PPF: Rs 20 Lakhs (matures in 2031)

Cash in hand: Rs 10 Lakhs

You also have a term insurance plan of Rs 1 crore and a family mediclaim policy of Rs 25 Lakhs.

Investment Strategy for Steady Income
Systematic Withdrawal Plan (SWP)
Utilize SWP from your mutual funds.

Withdraw Rs 1 lakh monthly from Flexi Cap and Mid Cap funds.

This ensures a regular income without depleting the principal rapidly.

Dividend-Paying Stocks
Invest part of your Demat account in dividend-paying stocks.

This provides regular income and potential for capital appreciation.

Balanced Mutual Funds
Shift some funds to balanced mutual funds.

These funds offer stability and regular returns.

Debt Funds
Allocate a portion to debt funds.

These are less risky and offer regular interest income.

Emergency Fund
Maintain Rs 10 Lakhs cash for emergencies.

This ensures liquidity and financial security.

Fixed Deposits and PPF
Keep FDs and PPF as they provide guaranteed returns.

Use FD interest for additional income.

PPF will mature in 2031, adding to your corpus.

Healthcare and Insurance
Ensure your family mediclaim policy is adequate.

Consider increasing the coverage if needed.

Your term plan is sufficient for your family's financial security.

Tax Efficiency
Tax-Efficient Investments
Invest in tax-efficient options like debt funds and balanced funds.

These can reduce your tax liability on returns.

Tax Planning for Withdrawal
Plan your withdrawals to minimize tax impact.

Use tax-saving strategies to optimize your income.

Regular Review and Adjustment
Review your portfolio regularly.

Adjust investments based on market conditions and financial goals.

Consult a Certified Financial Planner for personalized advice.

Benefits of Actively Managed Funds
Actively managed funds can outperform the market.

They adapt to changing market conditions.

Professional fund managers aim for higher returns.

Avoid Direct Funds
Direct funds require constant monitoring.

Regular funds through a CFP offer professional guidance.

This reduces the burden of managing your investments.

Final Insights
You are on the right track with your investments. By optimizing your current assets and planning withdrawals strategically, you can achieve your goal of Rs 1 lakh monthly income. Regularly review your financial plan and make adjustments as needed to ensure long-term financial security.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in

..Read more

Latest Questions
Ravi

Ravi Mittal  |475 Answers  |Ask -

Dating, Relationships Expert - Answered on Dec 26, 2024

Listen
Relationship
I am talking to a boy for arranged marriage. He said me that come to Bangalore you will have a good career. But he is also asking me if I can leave my job if I have got some responsibility in life to which I said yes. Then I said that I prefer own cooked food over cook cooked food. Then he asked me if I can cook for 2 people to which I said that I will have to look if I can do. He seems to be supportive when he talks on phone. Is he brain washing me, should I say yes or no. Is he a red flag. What should I do.
Ans: Dear Moumita,
It isn't fair to label someone as a red flag over a few days of conversation; seeing women take up responsibilities of home and disregard their own career or needs might be what he has seen growing up and it's not him being a red flag intentionally. A lot has to do with upbringing. What I can suggest with confidence is that if you love having your own job, and your own financial independence then please be vocal about it. Just because he is asking you to leave your job doesn't mean you have to do it- you are only in the talking phase. You are not married yet. You have ample time to rethink your choice. Cooking and housework shouldn’t just be your responsibility, just like earning and providing shouldn’t only be his. It’s about sharing the load equally. Having said that, I should also mention that every relationship is different, and each couple finds their own way of balancing things. Ultimately, everything boils down to what you are comfortable with- please take some time to figure that out and only then decide whether or not to take this relationship ahead.

Hope this helps.

...Read more

Kanchan

Kanchan Rai  |447 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Dec 26, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Dec 25, 2024
Relationship
Hi, My GF of last 2.5 years gets attracted to men very often and shares her feelings with me as well. She developed feelings for a guy a year back and he kissed her once when they were drunk. She said she didn't had time to react and Later they had a talk, she informed me that they chose to be friends, she doesn't seems to in talking terms any more with him. She talks to lot of male friends who she claims are from LGBTQ community which I doubt whether all are or not. I always say she has the freedom to move on any given day but she can't cheat but she doesn't think getting attracted to multiple men and acting on it as cheating . She says, she is free spirited and she is ok even if I visit a prostitute house. She is in her early 30s. She had a crush another guy on insta and said she will definitely try him if he wasn't lot younger than her but later said he is her best friend and she is in constant touch. Lately, she says vibe doesn't match and have problem saying I am her BF. I tried to move on from relationship 2-3 times because of her above traits and now stopped talking since few days. She had both mental and medical issues. Can I trust her and will she have any mental issues again?
Ans: While it’s commendable that she is honest about her feelings and gives you the freedom to make your choices, it’s equally important to consider whether her values and actions align with what you need in a partner. Relationships thrive when there’s mutual respect, understanding, and agreement on boundaries. If her actions or mindset make you feel undervalued or emotionally unsafe, it’s crucial to reflect on whether this relationship is truly serving your well-being.

The fact that you’ve tried to move on multiple times suggests that there is a deeper discomfort within you about the dynamics between you two. Trust is not just about fidelity; it’s about emotional safety, reliability, and mutual respect. If her behavior consistently makes you question her commitment or your place in her life, that erosion of trust can become difficult to rebuild.

As for her mental and medical challenges, it’s important to approach those with empathy, but also with a clear understanding that you cannot "fix" or "heal" someone unless they are actively seeking and working toward their own well-being. If she has not addressed her mental health or continues behaviors that affect the relationship without taking responsibility, it can lead to ongoing strain for you. Her mental health challenges are not excuses for harmful behavior, nor should they become reasons for you to sacrifice your own emotional health.

You’ve already shown patience and willingness to work through these challenges, but the repeated cycles of doubt and frustration may be a sign that the relationship is taking more from you than it’s giving. Ask yourself if you feel supported, valued, and emotionally safe in this partnership. Relationships should bring out the best in you and your partner, not leave you questioning your worth or constantly trying to accommodate behavior that feels unfair.

Taking a step back, as you’ve done now, can give you the clarity to evaluate what you truly want and need in a relationship. If trust feels irreparably broken or if her behaviors and values are fundamentally misaligned with yours, it may be time to consider whether staying in this relationship is the healthiest choice for you. You deserve a partner who respects your boundaries and builds a connection based on mutual trust and understanding.

If you decide to stay, open communication and possibly couples’ therapy could help bridge the gaps. If you choose to move on, trust that this decision is about prioritizing your well-being and finding a relationship that aligns with your values and needs. Either way, your happiness and emotional health should come first.

...Read more

Kanchan

Kanchan Rai  |447 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Dec 26, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Dec 23, 2024Hindi
Listen
Relationship
Hi Anu, My husband is in living relationship with another lady since April in another country. At the same time, he acused me as selfish for doing my PhD in my native country and put me in mental trauma by verbally accusing.Also,he was very clever, he step by step get rid of all the things related to our relationship and took bank all the bank fund in my name.After that he blocked me.I had doubts on his extra marital and asked him 1000 times. But he simply insulted and blocked me from all social media eventually. After finishing my PhD pre submission, when i went to meet him, in his place. I found him, shifted to another apartment. But i somehow, found it and there i came to knew, he is staying with a lady there for past months. I broke down and informed all his friends. Now he is threatening me for signing mutual consent, otherwise he will make false allegations and tore my good name..Already he partially did that. When I talked to his friends, he was crooked enough to tell them, i am a psycho, ademant, career oriented lady. I told him i am ready to give him mutual divorce after once we met in person. I want to ask him why he cheated me.but he is not ready to meet, he is asking me to talk to his advocate. What shall I do now?
Ans: While it’s natural to want answers and closure, sometimes people who betray us in such profound ways refuse to provide the accountability we seek. Closure doesn’t always come from the other person. It can come from recognizing that their actions stem from their own flaws and failings, not because of anything lacking in you. It can come from choosing to let go of the need for explanations and focusing instead on rebuilding your own sense of peace and purpose.

You’ve already demonstrated incredible strength by standing up to him and exposing the truth to his friends. That takes courage. But this is also a time to lean into your inner resilience and ensure you’re supported by professionals who can guide you through the legal and emotional complexities. Speaking with a family lawyer who understands the nuances of your situation will help you feel empowered to navigate his threats and protect your rights. At the same time, connecting with a counselor or therapist can offer a safe space to process your emotions and begin to heal from this trauma.

It’s okay to grieve the relationship and the betrayal. It’s okay to feel anger, sadness, or even numbness at times. These emotions are all part of the process of moving forward. Allow yourself to feel them without judgment, but also remind yourself that this pain is temporary and does not define you. You are more than what has been done to you.

When you feel ready, try to shift your focus away from him and his actions and toward your own well-being and future. You’ve worked so hard on your PhD and have built a life full of potential and possibility. This chapter doesn’t have to define the rest of your story. You are capable of creating a life that is free from manipulation and filled with self-respect, joy, and the kind of peace that comes from living authentically.

Lean on the people who believe in you, who see your value, and who can remind you of your strength when you feel unsure. Remember, you don’t have to handle this alone. Whether it’s through professional guidance or emotional support from trusted loved ones, there are paths forward that will help you rise above this situation. You deserve a life where your worth is honored, your boundaries are respected, and your happiness takes center stage.

...Read more

Kanchan

Kanchan Rai  |447 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Dec 26, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Dec 23, 2024Hindi
Listen
Relationship
Hello, I am a 35-year woman from Manali, divorced for three years now. My family is constantly pushing me to get remarried, saying it’s ‘for my own good.’ But honestly, I don’t feel the need for marriage again. I’m financially stable, have great friends, and I genuinely enjoy my independence. Despite explaining this to my family multiple times, they keep bringing up alliances and even guilt-trip me, saying things like, ‘Who will take care of you when you’re older?’ or ‘What will society think?’ I’m exhausted from these arguments and feel like I’m being cornered into something I don’t want. How do I stand firm in my decision while maintaining my relationship with my family? How do I help them understand that being single is a choice, not a problem to fix?
Ans: When speaking to your family, try to approach the conversation from a place of empathy. Acknowledge their intentions by telling them you understand their worries and that they want what they believe is best for you. Express gratitude for their care—it often helps diffuse their defensiveness. However, it’s equally important to gently but firmly assert that your happiness is not dependent on remarriage. Share how content you are with your current life, emphasizing your financial stability, fulfilling friendships, and personal growth.

Sometimes families struggle to accept choices that diverge from traditional norms, often driven by fears about societal perceptions or imagined futures. Reassure them that your decision is rooted in thoughtful consideration and self-awareness, and that you’ve built a life that brings you peace and joy. If they bring up concerns like loneliness or old age, you can address these by expressing how you’ve cultivated strong support systems and how your independence equips you to face challenges.

It might also help to set gentle boundaries. For instance, you could say, “I appreciate that you care for me, but I’d like our time together to focus on enjoying each other’s company instead of discussing remarriage.” It’s okay to redirect conversations or take a break from them when you feel cornered.

Lastly, remember that changing deeply ingrained beliefs takes time. Your family might not immediately understand your perspective, but consistency and calm communication will help over time. It’s not your responsibility to conform to their expectations if doing so diminishes your sense of self. By staying true to your values while showing compassion for their concerns, you’re paving the way for mutual respect and understanding.

...Read more

Dr Nandita

Dr Nandita Palshetkar  |36 Answers  |Ask -

Gynaecologist, IVF expert - Answered on Dec 26, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Dec 19, 2024Hindi
Listen
Health
Dr, I’m 35 years old from Jamnagar, and my husband and I have been trying for a baby for the past year, but nothing seems to be working. I recently visited a fertility clinic in neighborhood , and after a few tests, they mentioned that I might have blocked fallopian tubes. The gynaec also talked about possible treatments like surgery or IVF, but I’m really confused and worried. Should I go for a laparoscopy to check the severity, or are there any other alternatives that could help me? I’m really anxious and just want to understand my options better before making any decisions.
Ans: History noted.
Considering your age 35 years, trying to conceive since, one year and few test done, one of which suggest possibility of tubal blockage, there are various modalities of treatment.
Firstly, you can do laparoscopy to note the severity if blockage and do tubal cannulation.
Tubal cannulation is often the first line of treatment for patients with blocked fallopian tubes because it's a non-invasive procedure that's widely available.
Tubal cannulation is a procedure that can unblock fallopian tubes and is highly successful for proximal tubal blockages, with a success rate of over 80%. However, it may not be successful for all patients and is not recommended for distal tubal occlusions.
This procedure if successful can avoid IVF procedure. Laparoscopy has…
Yes, before ivf get all your blood test, ecg, 2 D echo, xray chest to rule out any illness
Same with your husband to get semen analysis and viral markers with blood sugars to be done.

...Read more

Dr Nandita

Dr Nandita Palshetkar  |36 Answers  |Ask -

Gynaecologist, IVF expert - Answered on Dec 26, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Dec 17, 2024Hindi
Listen
Health
Hello Doctor, I’m in my late 20s, and lately, I’ve been feeling like something’s off with my body. My periods either show up way too early, sometimes not at all for months. And, I’ve been putting on weight even though I haven’t changed my diet or exercise routine. My skin has also turned into a battlefield with acne all over, which I never used to have before. My cousin, who’s around my age, just found out she has PCOS, and her mom (my aunt) went through something similar when she was younger. Now, I’m scared because I’ve been hearing all these horror stories about how it can affect fertility, and I’m not even married yet. What if it’s a family thing and I end up facing the same problems? My mom says, ‘Don’t worry, it’ll be fine,’ but I can’t stop thinking about it. Should I see a gynecologist, or is there another kind of doctor I should be visiting? What tests should I do to get to the bottom of this before it gets worse? Honestly, I’m feeling overwhelmed and just want to know what’s going on before it’s too late.
Ans: Hello, noted your concerns
You are in late 20’s with irregular periods, acne, weight gain,
You are undergoing hormonal imbalance
We need to do certain blood test like
CBC, tsh prolactin fasting insulin level
Hba1c, testosterone level
DHEA, LH FSH ESTRADIOL LEVEL
Amd AMH level to check for fertility level
Usg pelvis to rule out
Pcos
The mainstay treatment. For pcos is lifestyle changes
1) Daily exercise, walks. Zumba, running
2) Good nutritious food with proteins, vitamins, minerals, low carbs and fats
3) good adequate sleep 7 to 8 hours
4) stress management: yoga meditation, breathing exercise
5) supplements to controls effects of pcos
6) low dose OC PILLS TO regularize the cycles

...Read more

DISCLAIMER: The content of this post by the expert is the personal view of the rediffGURU. Investment in securities market are subject to market risks. Read all the related document carefully before investing. The securities quoted are for illustration only and are not recommendatory. Users are advised to pursue the information provided by the rediffGURU only as a source of information and as a point of reference and to rely on their own judgement when making a decision. RediffGURUS is an intermediary as per India's Information Technology Act.

Close  

You haven't logged in yet. To ask a question, Please Log in below
Login

A verification OTP will be sent to this
Mobile Number / Email

Enter OTP
A 6 digit code has been sent to

Resend OTP in120seconds

Dear User, You have not registered yet. Please register by filling the fields below to get expert answers from our Gurus
Sign up

By signing up, you agree to our
Terms & Conditions and Privacy Policy

Already have an account?

Enter OTP
A 6 digit code has been sent to Mobile

Resend OTP in120seconds

x