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Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |7837 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Apr 17, 2024

Ramalingam Kalirajan has over 23 years of experience in mutual funds and financial planning.
He has an MBA in finance from the University of Madras and is a certified financial planner.
He is the director and chief financial planner at Holistic Investment, a Chennai-based firm that offers financial planning and wealth management advice.... more
Asked by Anonymous - Jan 30, 2024Hindi
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Hi, i m 30/f earning 60k per month. Currently investing 5-10k in local chit fund, no further investment. My goal is for a job free life at the age of 40-42. Pls suggest good investment plan (ready to invest 20-30k overall per month).

Ans: I can't recommend chit funds as an investment avenue due to potential risks and lack of regulation. Here's a roadmap for a job-free life by 40-42, considering your increased investment potential of 20-30k monthly:

1. Calculate Your Corpus:

Estimate your desired monthly income after quitting your job at 40-42. Factor in inflation over the next 8-10 years. Let's assume you target a monthly income of Rs. 40,000 in today's value (adjustable based on your needs).
Multiply your desired monthly income by 12 (months) to get your annual income target (Rs. 40,000 x 12 = Rs. 4,80,000 per year).
Consider the number of years you want to live on this passive income (retirement age onwards). Let's assume 25 years (adjustable based on your life expectancy).
Multiply your annual income target by the number of years to estimate the total corpus needed (Rs. 4,80,000/year x 25 years = Rs. 1,20,00,000).
2. Analyze Your Current Savings:

You're already investing Rs. 5,000-10,000 monthly. With a planned increase to Rs. 20,000-30,000, this signifies a positive saving pattern.
3. Investment Strategy:

Given your long-term goal (8-10 years), a mix of equity and debt instruments is recommended for growth potential and stability. Here's a sample allocation:
Equity Mutual Funds (60%): Invest in a mix of large-cap and multi-cap equity funds for capital appreciation. You can invest through a Systematic Investment Plan (SIP) to rupee-cost average and reduce risk.
Debt Mutual Funds (40%): Invest in debt funds like short-term or income funds for stability and regular income. This can act as a buffer.
4. Investment Options:

Consider opening an investment account with a reputable broker or Robo-advisor. They can recommend suitable mutual funds based on your risk tolerance and goals.
Explore options like Equity Linked Savings Schemes (ELSS) for tax benefits alongside regular mutual funds. However, remember ELSS also comes with market risk.
5. Review and Rebalance:

Regularly review your portfolio performance (at least annually) and rebalance if needed to maintain your desired asset allocation (60% equity, 40% debt).
Important Note:

This is a general framework, and consulting a SEBI-registered Investment Advisor is recommended. They can consider your specific financial situation, risk tolerance, and goals to create a tailored investment plan.
Here's a quick recap:

Calculate your target corpus.
Analyze your current savings.
Develop an investment strategy with asset allocation.
Choose suitable investment options.
Review and rebalance your portfolio regularly.
By following these steps, increasing your investments, and seeking professional guidance, you can increase your chances of achieving your goal of a job-free life by 40-42.

Remember, this is a long-term plan, and discipline is key. Stay invested, be patient, and adapt your strategy as needed.
DISCLAIMER: The content of this post by the expert is the personal view of the rediffGURU. Users are advised to pursue the information provided by the rediffGURU only as a source of information to be as a point of reference and to rely on their own judgement when making a decision.
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Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |7837 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Apr 17, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Jan 30, 2024Hindi
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Hello, i m 31/f earning 80k per month. Currently investing 10k in annual life insurance, no further investment. My goal is for a job free life at the age of 40-42. Pls suggest good investment plan (willing to invest 20-30k overall in a month).
Ans: Here's a roadmap to consider for achieving your goal of a job-free life by 40-42, increasing your monthly investments to 20-30k:

1. Calculate Your Corpus:

Estimate your desired monthly income after quitting your job at 40-42. Factor in inflation over the next 8-10 years. Let's assume you target a monthly income of Rs. 50,000 in today's value (adjustable based on your needs).
Multiply your desired monthly income by 12 (months) to get your annual income target (Rs. 50,000 x 12 = Rs. 6,00,000 per year).
Consider the number of years you want to live on this passive income (retirement age onwards). Let's assume 25 years (adjustable based on your life expectancy).
Multiply your annual income target by the number of years to estimate the total corpus needed (Rs. 6,00,000/year x 25 years = Rs. 1,50,00,000).
2. Analyze Your Current Savings:

Factor in your existing annual life insurance investment (Rs. 10,000) and desired monthly increment (Rs. 20,000 - Rs. 30,000) to calculate your total potential monthly investment amount (Rs. 10,000 + Rs. 20,000 = Rs. 30,000).
3. Investment Strategy:

Given your long-term goal (8-10 years), a combination of equity and debt instruments is recommended to balance growth potential and stability. Here's a sample allocation:
Equity Mutual Funds (60%): Invest in a mix of large-cap and multi-cap equity funds for potential capital appreciation over the long term. You can invest through a Systematic Investment Plan (SIP) to rupee-cost average and potentially reduce risk.
Debt Mutual Funds (40%): Invest in debt funds like short-term or income funds to provide stability and regular income. This can help meet short-term needs and act as a buffer.
4. Investment Options:

Consider opening an investment account with a reputable broker or Robo-advisor. They can help you choose suitable mutual funds based on your risk tolerance and goals.
Explore options like Equity Linked Savings Schemes (ELSS) for tax benefits alongside regular mutual funds. However, remember ELSS also comes with market risk.
5. Review and Rebalance:

Regularly review your portfolio performance (at least annually) and rebalance if needed to maintain your desired asset allocation (60% equity, 40% debt).
Important Note:

This is a general framework, and you should consult a SEBI-registered Investment Advisor for personalized advice. They can consider your specific financial situation, risk tolerance, and goals to create a tailored investment plan.
Here's a quick recap:

Calculate your target corpus.
Analyze your current savings.
Develop an investment strategy with asset allocation.
Choose suitable investment options.
Review and rebalance your portfolio regularly.
By following these steps, increasing your investments, and seeking professional guidance, you can increase your chances of achieving your goal of a job-free life by 40-42.

Remember, this is a long-term plan, and discipline is key. Stay invested, be patient, and adapt your strategy as needed.

..Read more

Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |7837 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on May 17, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - May 13, 2024Hindi
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I have only 3 years left for my job and planning to quit in Dec24.I have no pension and my PF and Gratuity will amount to Rs.30lacs.Let me know how the investment plan where I can get atleast 20000 per month
Ans: Crafting Your Retirement Income Strategy: A Comprehensive Approach
Your proactive planning for retirement with a lump sum of Rs. 30 lakhs from PF and Gratuity demonstrates foresight and commitment. Let's design an investment plan focused on generating a monthly income of at least Rs. 20,000, ensuring financial stability during your post-employment phase.

Understanding Your Financial Situation
Congratulations on your impending retirement! It's commendable that you're taking steps to secure your financial future despite not having a pension. Your PF and Gratuity form a solid foundation for building your retirement corpus.

Assessing Income Needs and Investment Horizon
Generating a monthly income of Rs. 20,000 requires a well-thought-out investment strategy tailored to your financial goals and risk tolerance. With a three-year investment horizon until retirement, prioritizing stability and consistent income generation is key.

Leveraging Systematic Withdrawal Plans (SWP)
Integrating SWP into your investment plan can provide a reliable income stream post-retirement. SWP allows you to systematically withdraw a predetermined amount from your mutual fund investments at regular intervals, ensuring a steady cash flow.

Allocating Your Retirement Corpus
Fixed Income Instruments: Allocate a significant portion of your corpus to fixed income instruments such as Senior Citizen Savings Scheme (SCSS), Post Office Monthly Income Scheme (POMIS), or fixed deposits (FDs) to provide stability and regular income.

Debt Mutual Funds: Consider investing a portion of your corpus in debt mutual funds with SWP facilities. These funds offer potential for higher returns compared to traditional fixed income instruments while maintaining a conservative risk profile.

Balanced Funds: Explore balanced funds that offer a mix of equity and debt investments. These funds provide growth potential along with regular income distributions, suitable for retirees seeking a balanced approach.

Regular Monitoring and Adjustments
Regularly review the performance of your investment portfolio and make necessary adjustments based on market conditions and your evolving financial needs. Rebalancing the portfolio periodically ensures it remains aligned with your retirement income goals.

Conclusion
By leveraging SWP alongside a diversified portfolio of fixed income instruments, debt mutual funds, and balanced funds, you can achieve your goal of generating a monthly income of Rs. 20,000 post-retirement. Prioritize stability, consistency, and regular monitoring to ensure a comfortable and financially secure retirement.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,
Chief Financial Planner,
www.holisticinvestment.in

..Read more

Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |7837 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Jun 21, 2024

Money
Hi sir ,I am 34 years old ,earning 1.15 lack net in hand ,2 lack in EPF and currently 6 k contribution of monthly of EPF, have purchased one land near jewar airport with private builder in 12 lack by my money, and currently 1 lack in mutual fund and planning to invest every month 20 k from now in mutual funds , I have 1.5 lack loan only due to uncertain loss in option trading on 4th election day so I stopped option trading, one LIC policy where I am investing 53k for 16 year and policy will mature in 19th year this is 4th year of premium ,1 lack in PPF which I invested 2 years ago , health insurence of me and my with of 1cr and same for my mother ,I need a proper plan to achive 3 cr in my 45 means in next 10 year
Ans: You have a clear goal of achieving a Rs 3 crore corpus in the next 10 years. This is achievable with a well-structured financial plan. Let’s break down the plan step by step to help you reach your target.

Understanding Your Current Financial Situation
Income and Savings

You earn Rs 1.15 lakh per month and contribute Rs 6,000 monthly to your EPF. Your savings include Rs 2 lakh in EPF, Rs 1 lakh in mutual funds, Rs 1 lakh in PPF, and an investment in land worth Rs 12 lakh. You also have a LIC policy with an annual premium of Rs 53,000.

Debt and Insurance

You have a loan of Rs 1.5 lakh and health insurance coverage of Rs 1 crore for you, your wife, and your mother. This is a solid foundation to build upon.

Setting Clear Financial Goals
Primary Goal

Achieve a corpus of Rs 3 crore by the age of 45, which is 10 years from now.

Secondary Goals

Ensure adequate funds for emergencies, retirement, and your children’s education.

Optimizing Your Investments
1. Mutual Funds

You plan to invest Rs 20,000 monthly in mutual funds. This is a good strategy. Ensure you choose a mix of large-cap, mid-cap, and small-cap funds for diversification.

2. EPF and PPF

Continue your contributions to EPF and PPF. These are safe investments providing steady returns and tax benefits.

3. LIC Policy

Evaluate your LIC policy. Insurance-cum-investment policies often give lower returns compared to mutual funds. Consider surrendering the policy and redirecting the premiums to mutual funds.

Debt Management
1. Repaying Debt

Focus on repaying your Rs 1.5 lakh loan as soon as possible. Debt can hinder your financial growth.

2. Avoiding Future Debt

Avoid speculative trading and high-risk investments. Stick to a disciplined investment strategy.

Creating an Emergency Fund
1. Emergency Fund

Maintain an emergency fund covering 6-12 months of expenses. This will safeguard you against unexpected financial setbacks.

2. Liquid Assets

Keep this fund in liquid assets like a savings account or short-term fixed deposits.

Investment Strategies
1. Systematic Investment Plan (SIP)

Continue with your SIPs in mutual funds. SIPs help in averaging the cost of investment and reducing market volatility risk.

2. Diversification

Diversify your investments across different asset classes. This reduces risk and enhances returns.

3. Review and Rebalance

Regularly review and rebalance your portfolio to align with your financial goals and market conditions.

Tax Planning
1. Tax-saving Investments

Maximize your tax-saving investments under Section 80C, like PPF, EPF, and ELSS (Equity Linked Savings Scheme).

2. Tax-efficient Returns

Opt for investments that offer tax-efficient returns. For example, long-term capital gains from equity mutual funds are taxed favorably.

Retirement Planning
1. Retirement Corpus

While your immediate goal is Rs 3 crore, plan for your retirement as well. A diversified portfolio can help you build a substantial retirement corpus.

2. Retirement Accounts

Continue with EPF and PPF, and consider investing in the National Pension System (NPS) for additional retirement savings.

Children's Education and Future Needs
1. Education Fund

Start a dedicated investment plan for your children’s education. SIPs in equity mutual funds can help accumulate a significant corpus over time.

2. Future Expenses

Plan for future expenses like your children’s marriage or any other significant financial commitments. SIPs and long-term investments can aid in this.

Role of Certified Financial Planner (CFP)
1. Professional Guidance

Consulting a CFP can provide personalized advice and help in optimizing your investment strategy. They can guide you in selecting the right funds and managing your portfolio.

2. Regular Reviews

A CFP will regularly review your portfolio, ensuring it remains aligned with your goals and market conditions.

Benefits of Regular Funds Over Direct Funds
1. Expert Management

Regular funds offer expert management and advice, which can lead to better investment decisions and optimized returns.

2. Convenience

Your CFP handles all the paperwork, portfolio reviews, and rebalancing, providing convenience and peace of mind.

3. Cost vs. Benefit

The slightly higher expense ratio of regular funds is justified by the professional guidance and better portfolio management they offer.

Achieving Your Rs 3 Crore Goal
1. Consistent Investments

Invest consistently in mutual funds through SIPs. Rs 20,000 monthly for 10 years can grow significantly with compounding.

2. Higher Returns

Equity mutual funds can provide higher returns over the long term compared to traditional investments like FD or PPF.

3. Disciplined Approach

Maintain a disciplined approach to investing. Avoid high-risk investments and focus on long-term growth.

Final Insights
Your goal of achieving a Rs 3 crore corpus in the next 10 years is achievable with a structured and disciplined investment plan. Focus on mutual funds, repay your debt, and regularly review your portfolio. Consulting a Certified Financial Planner can provide valuable guidance and help you stay on track to meet your financial goals.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in

..Read more

Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |7837 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Jul 17, 2024

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I am 50 years old privet sector employee, my job may be over coming 3 months. My investments value are, Demat account stocks= 60 Lakhs, MF, Flexi Cap = 40 L, Mid Cap =12L, Small Cap = 5L, FD=25L, PPF=20L will matured on 2031. Cash in hand 10L, Please suggest me correct investment plan to get 1.0L monthly. I have term plan for Rs 1.0Cr. and family mediclaim policy for rs. 25 L.
Ans: Current Financial Position
You have a strong financial foundation. Your investments and savings include:

Demat account stocks: Rs 60 Lakhs

Mutual Funds (Flexi Cap): Rs 40 Lakhs

Mutual Funds (Mid Cap): Rs 12 Lakhs

Mutual Funds (Small Cap): Rs 5 Lakhs

Fixed Deposit: Rs 25 Lakhs

PPF: Rs 20 Lakhs (matures in 2031)

Cash in hand: Rs 10 Lakhs

You also have a term insurance plan of Rs 1 crore and a family mediclaim policy of Rs 25 Lakhs.

Investment Strategy for Steady Income
Systematic Withdrawal Plan (SWP)
Utilize SWP from your mutual funds.

Withdraw Rs 1 lakh monthly from Flexi Cap and Mid Cap funds.

This ensures a regular income without depleting the principal rapidly.

Dividend-Paying Stocks
Invest part of your Demat account in dividend-paying stocks.

This provides regular income and potential for capital appreciation.

Balanced Mutual Funds
Shift some funds to balanced mutual funds.

These funds offer stability and regular returns.

Debt Funds
Allocate a portion to debt funds.

These are less risky and offer regular interest income.

Emergency Fund
Maintain Rs 10 Lakhs cash for emergencies.

This ensures liquidity and financial security.

Fixed Deposits and PPF
Keep FDs and PPF as they provide guaranteed returns.

Use FD interest for additional income.

PPF will mature in 2031, adding to your corpus.

Healthcare and Insurance
Ensure your family mediclaim policy is adequate.

Consider increasing the coverage if needed.

Your term plan is sufficient for your family's financial security.

Tax Efficiency
Tax-Efficient Investments
Invest in tax-efficient options like debt funds and balanced funds.

These can reduce your tax liability on returns.

Tax Planning for Withdrawal
Plan your withdrawals to minimize tax impact.

Use tax-saving strategies to optimize your income.

Regular Review and Adjustment
Review your portfolio regularly.

Adjust investments based on market conditions and financial goals.

Consult a Certified Financial Planner for personalized advice.

Benefits of Actively Managed Funds
Actively managed funds can outperform the market.

They adapt to changing market conditions.

Professional fund managers aim for higher returns.

Avoid Direct Funds
Direct funds require constant monitoring.

Regular funds through a CFP offer professional guidance.

This reduces the burden of managing your investments.

Final Insights
You are on the right track with your investments. By optimizing your current assets and planning withdrawals strategically, you can achieve your goal of Rs 1 lakh monthly income. Regularly review your financial plan and make adjustments as needed to ensure long-term financial security.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in

..Read more

Latest Questions
Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |7837 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Feb 05, 2025

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Get me some clearity on HDFC BALANCED ADVANTAGE FUND as from last few days my portfolio is going in negative
Ans: Understanding Balanced Advantage Funds

Balanced Advantage Funds invest in both equity and debt. They adjust their investments based on market conditions. This flexibility helps manage risk and aim for steady returns.

Recent Performance Insights

It's natural to feel concerned when your portfolio shows negative returns. Remember, short-term declines are common in investments. Balanced Advantage Funds aim to reduce risk by adjusting their investments. This strategy helps manage market ups and downs.

Factors Influencing Performance

Several elements can affect your fund's performance:

Market Volatility: Changes in the market can impact returns.

Asset Allocation: The mix of equity and debt plays a role.

Interest Rate Changes: Fluctuations can influence debt investments.

Economic Indicators: Factors like inflation and GDP growth are important.

Evaluating Fund Performance

To assess your fund's performance:

Compare with Benchmarks: See how it measures up against standard indices.

Review Historical Returns: Look at past performance over different periods.

Consider Risk-Adjusted Returns: Evaluate returns in relation to the risk taken.

Staying the Course

It's commendable to stay focused on your long-term goals. Short-term market changes shouldn't deter your investment strategy. Maintaining discipline is key to achieving financial objectives.

Consulting a Certified Financial Planner

For personalized advice, consider consulting a Certified Financial Planner. They can provide guidance tailored to your financial situation.

Final Thoughts

Market fluctuations are a part of investing. Balanced Advantage Funds are designed to manage these ups and downs. Staying informed and patient can help you reach your financial goals.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in

https://www.youtube.com/@HolisticInvestment

...Read more

Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |7837 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Feb 05, 2025

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Hello, my mother is 62 year old pensioner. She has invested funds in government securities and postal schemes. Despite submitting 15H form and filing ITR (as a senior citizen person), her tax is getting deducted. Can you kindly explain why this is happening?
Ans: There are a few possible reasons why TDS (Tax Deducted at Source) is being deducted from your mother's investments, despite submitting Form 15H and filing ITR.

1. Incorrect or Late Submission of Form 15H
Form 15H must be submitted at the start of the financial year to all institutions where she has investments.
If submitted after TDS is deducted, it won’t apply retrospectively to recover the deducted tax.
Ensure the form is submitted separately to each bank, post office, or financial institution.
2. Exceeding the Basic Exemption Limit
For senior citizens (60+ years), income up to Rs. 3 lakhs is tax-free.
If her total taxable income (pension + interest from investments) exceeds Rs. 3 lakhs, TDS will still apply.
Even if TDS is deducted, she can claim a refund while filing her ITR if her total tax liability is zero.
3. Form 15H Validity Rules
Form 15H is only valid if total taxable income is below the exemption limit.
If her total income is more than Rs. 3 lakhs, banks and post offices will ignore Form 15H and deduct TDS.
4. Different TDS Thresholds for Investments
Banks deduct TDS on FD interest if it exceeds Rs. 50,000 per year for senior citizens.
Post Office schemes (like SCSS) deduct TDS if interest crosses Rs. 50,000 per year.
Government securities may also have TDS rules based on the issuing authority.
5. PAN Not Updated with the Bank/Post Office
If PAN is not linked to the investment accounts, higher TDS at 20% is deducted.
Ensure all investments have PAN updated to avoid excess TDS.
6. Errors in Tax Deduction System
Sometimes, banks deduct TDS even if Form 15H is submitted correctly.
In such cases, she can file an ITR and claim a refund from the Income Tax Department.
What to Do Now?
Check total taxable income to confirm if she qualifies for Form 15H.
Verify all Form 15H submissions with banks and post offices.
Ensure PAN is updated in all financial institutions.
If TDS is wrongly deducted, file an ITR and claim a refund.
Would you like help with checking if she is eligible for a refund?

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP

Chief Financial Planner

www.holisticinvestment.in

https://www.youtube.com/@HolisticInvestment

...Read more

Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |7837 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Feb 05, 2025

Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |7837 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Feb 05, 2025

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My son is a Singapore citizen. He has a flat in his name in Co-op. Hous. Soc. in Navi Mumbai purchased in 2005. He wants to sell it. Will you please suggest ways to repatriate the proceeds with least tax implications?
Ans: Selling property in India as a non-resident involves several steps. It's important to follow these steps to ensure compliance with Indian laws and to minimize tax liabilities. Here's a detailed guide to assist your son:

1. Understanding Capital Gains Tax

Long-Term Capital Gains (LTCG): Since the property was purchased in 2005 and is being sold now, it qualifies as a long-term asset. LTCG is taxed at 20% for non-resident Indians (NRIs).

Indexation Benefit: This benefit adjusts the purchase price for inflation, reducing taxable gains.

2. Tax Deducted at Source (TDS) Obligations

TDS Rate: The buyer must deduct TDS at 20% on LTCG for NRIs. Ensure the buyer complies with this requirement.

3. Repatriation of Sale Proceeds

NRO Account: Deposit the sale proceeds into a Non-Resident Ordinary (NRO) account.

Repatriation Limit: NRIs can repatriate up to USD 1 million per financial year from their NRO account, provided all taxes are paid.

4. Documentation for Repatriation

Tax Clearance: Obtain a certificate from a Chartered Accountant in Form 15CB.

Bank Procedures: Submit Form 15CA to the bank. These forms confirm that taxes have been paid.

5. Tax Exemptions to Reduce Liability

Section 54: Invest LTCG in another residential property in India within specified timelines to claim exemption.

Section 54EC: Invest in specified bonds within six months of sale to avail exemption. The maximum investment limit is Rs 50 lakhs.

6. Currency Exchange Considerations

Exchange Rate: The prevailing exchange rate at the time of repatriation will apply.

Bank Charges: Be aware of potential charges during the transfer process.

7. Professional Consultation

Certified Financial Planner: Consult a Certified Financial Planner to navigate the complexities of taxation and repatriation.

By following these steps, your son can efficiently manage the sale and repatriation process, ensuring compliance and minimizing tax liabilities.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP

Chief Financial Planner

www.holisticinvestment.in

https://www.youtube.com/@HolisticInvestment

...Read more

Anu

Anu Krishna  |1494 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Feb 05, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Jan 24, 2025Hindi
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Relationship
I have been married for more than 3 weeks. And I don't like my husband. I didn't like him before the marriage and it was very clear to my family tht I didn't like him. But my parents forced me to get married to him and it was my fault tht I couldn't prioritise my feelings. I considered what would happen to them if I called off the engagement. And after being married I have been more than depressed. My parents keeps telling what I should do. I don't let him touch me since I don't like him I asked him for some time and on the 2nd day he made a huge issue in my family telling them that I don't let him touch me. I started to resent him after this. Everyone around me keeps on telling Me that he will go abroad in 2 weeks so I should do whatever a wife does. it's been 3 weeks and continuous arguments. I'm so sad. I'm scared of what would happen if I leave this marriage. I can't stay in my own family because they would treat me so bad. I would have to stay alone. Thinking about the uncertain future and consequences am not able to do anything. Am stuck in this miserable situation.
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
For sure, it's difficult to be physically intimate with someone that you do not fancy and he is being silly in making this public. Rather than winning you over, he's making it a public issue to gain sympathy which his highly immature.
Now, I am going to give you an example that you may not like.
Eg: You have to live in Japan for 2 years and you do not like that cuisine. But eventually you realize that 2 years is a long time and then you actually start enjoying the food by looking at what's nice in it; healthy, light, good on the heart etc.

It's the same here. You may have gotten forced into the marriage. But it's just 3 weeks. Give it time...NO, you do not have to engage in any physical intimacy with him right away; but at least try to get to know him...maybe someday you might start to appreciate his good qualities, yeah? See, if this is possible in the short time that you have...it's just about having an open mind. Marriages are easy to break, think hard on this one.

All the best!
Anu Krishna
Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
Drop in: www.unfear.io
Reach me: Facebook: anukrish07/ AND LinkedIn: anukrishna-joyofserving/

...Read more

Anu

Anu Krishna  |1494 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Feb 05, 2025

DISCLAIMER: The content of this post by the expert is the personal view of the rediffGURU. Investment in securities market are subject to market risks. Read all the related document carefully before investing. The securities quoted are for illustration only and are not recommendatory. Users are advised to pursue the information provided by the rediffGURU only as a source of information and as a point of reference and to rely on their own judgement when making a decision. RediffGURUS is an intermediary as per India's Information Technology Act.

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