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Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |6971 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Jun 30, 2024

Ramalingam Kalirajan has over 23 years of experience in mutual funds and financial planning.
He has an MBA in finance from the University of Madras and is a certified financial planner.
He is the director and chief financial planner at Holistic Investment, a Chennai-based firm that offers financial planning and wealth management advice.... more
Raushan Question by Raushan on Jun 30, 2024Hindi
Money

Hi, i am 24 years old and currently my salary is 15k, and i wanted to retire at the age of 45 and at that time i wanted to have at least saving of 8cr. So could ypu please suggest that how much should i have to earn monthly and where to invest money and how much money should i have to invest so that i can get the desired result.

Ans: Great to see your enthusiasm for planning your future. Planning for retirement early is a smart move. I'll guide you on how much you should save and invest to reach your goal of Rs. 8 crores by age 45.

Assessing Your Current Financial Situation
At 24 years old with a monthly salary of Rs. 15,000, you are at the start of your financial journey. Your dedication to planning for retirement shows maturity and foresight. Let's break down how you can achieve your financial goals.

Setting Clear Financial Goals
You aim to retire at 45 with Rs. 8 crores in savings. This is a significant amount, and achieving it requires disciplined saving and smart investing.

Importance of Increasing Your Income
Currently, your salary is Rs. 15,000 per month. To reach your retirement goal, you'll need to increase your income over time. Consider pursuing additional qualifications or skills to enhance your career prospects. Look for opportunities to advance in your current job or explore higher-paying positions.

Savings and Investment Strategy
To accumulate Rs. 8 crores, you'll need to save and invest consistently. Here's a step-by-step guide:

Step 1: Build an Emergency Fund
Before investing, create an emergency fund. This fund should cover 6-12 months of your expenses. It provides a safety net for unexpected expenses or job loss. Keep this fund in a savings account or liquid mutual funds for easy access.

Step 2: Start with SIPs in Mutual Funds
Systematic Investment Plans (SIPs) in mutual funds are a great way to start investing. SIPs allow you to invest a fixed amount regularly, providing the benefits of rupee cost averaging and compounding. Start with a small amount and gradually increase it as your income grows.

Step 3: Diversify Your Investments
Diversification reduces risk and enhances returns. Spread your investments across different asset classes. Consider investing in a mix of large-cap, mid-cap, and small-cap mutual funds. Diversifying ensures you benefit from different sectors and market conditions.

Benefits of Actively Managed Funds
Actively managed funds can outperform index funds by leveraging the expertise of fund managers. These managers make investment decisions based on market analysis and trends, potentially yielding higher returns. While index funds passively track a market index, actively managed funds aim to beat the market.

Avoid Direct Funds
Direct funds require a good understanding of the market and regular monitoring. They can be time-consuming and risky for inexperienced investors. Instead, invest in regular funds through a Certified Financial Planner (CFP). A CFP can provide personalized advice and manage your investments, ensuring optimal returns.

Importance of Regular Investments
Consistent investing is key to reaching your goal. Set up automatic transfers to your SIPs and other investments. Treat your investments like any other monthly expense. This discipline will ensure you stay on track.

Review and Adjust Your Portfolio
Regularly review your investment portfolio. Market conditions and personal circumstances change over time. Adjust your investments based on these changes. A CFP can help you with this, providing expert advice and keeping your portfolio aligned with your goals.

Tax Efficiency
Consider the tax implications of your investments. Tax-efficient investing can significantly enhance your returns. Invest in instruments that offer tax benefits under Section 80C, like Equity-Linked Savings Schemes (ELSS). ELSS funds have a lock-in period of three years and offer potential for high returns.

Avoid High-Risk Investments
While high-risk investments can offer high returns, they also come with the risk of significant losses. Avoid speculative investments and focus on long-term, stable growth. A diversified portfolio of mutual funds provides a balanced approach to risk and return.

The Power of Compounding
Compounding is your best friend when it comes to building wealth. The earlier you start investing, the more time your money has to grow. Reinvest your returns to benefit from compounding. Over time, even small investments can grow significantly.

Balancing Current Needs and Future Goals
It's important to balance your current financial needs with your future goals. Create a budget to manage your expenses and savings effectively. Ensure you live within your means while setting aside money for investments.

Building Financial Discipline
Financial discipline is crucial. Avoid unnecessary expenses and debt. Live frugally and save diligently. Track your spending to identify areas where you can cut costs. This discipline will help you save more and invest consistently.

Seek Professional Advice
A Certified Financial Planner (CFP) can provide valuable guidance. They can help you create a personalized financial plan, recommend suitable investments, and monitor your portfolio. Their expertise ensures you make informed decisions and stay on track to reach your goal.

Investing in Your Education
Investing in your education and skills can significantly increase your earning potential. Higher income allows you to save and invest more. Consider part-time courses, certifications, or degrees that can enhance your career prospects.

Staying Informed
Stay informed about financial markets and investment opportunities. Read financial news, attend seminars, and join investment forums. Knowledge empowers you to make better investment decisions.

Emotional Resilience
The market will have ups and downs. Stay emotionally resilient and avoid making impulsive decisions based on short-term market fluctuations. Stick to your long-term investment plan and consult your CFP for guidance during volatile times.

Avoiding Common Pitfalls
Avoid common investment mistakes like chasing high returns, timing the market, or following the crowd. Stay focused on your goals and follow a disciplined investment strategy.

Final Insights
Reaching your goal of Rs. 8 crores by age 45 requires a strategic and disciplined approach. Increase your income, save diligently, and invest wisely. Diversify your investments, avoid high-risk and direct funds, and leverage the expertise of a Certified Financial Planner. Stay informed, resilient, and committed to your financial plan.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in
DISCLAIMER: The content of this post by the expert is the personal view of the rediffGURU. Users are advised to pursue the information provided by the rediffGURU only as a source of information to be as a point of reference and to rely on their own judgement when making a decision.
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Sanjeev Govila  | Answer  |Ask -

Financial Planner - Answered on Nov 15, 2023

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Sir I am going to retire in next 3yrs. How much amount I need so that I can get monthly income of Rs70000. And where I should invest those money. Please advice
Ans: To calculate how much money you need to retire with a monthly income of Rs. 70,000, we need to know the following:

Your current age
Your desired retirement age
Your expected rate of return on your investments
Your desired lifestyle in retirement

Assuming that you are currently 51 years old, plan to retire at age 54, have a life expectancy of 20 years after retirement, and expect a 6% rate of return on your investments, you would need to have a retirement corpus of Rs. 75 lacs approx as of now which become approx. 1 Cr. after the 3 years at the time of your retirement to generate a monthly income of Rs. 70,000 for 20 years after retirement upto the age of 74 years.

As for where to invest your money, there are a number of options available, depending on your risk tolerance and investment goals. Some popular options include:

• Senior citizen savings scheme (SCSS): This is a government-sponsored savings scheme that offers a guaranteed interest rate of 8.2% per annum.
• Post office monthly income scheme (POMIS): This is another government-sponsored savings scheme that offers a monthly income to investors. The current interest rate is 7.40% per annum.
•Annuity plans: Annuity plans provide investors with a guaranteed income stream for a set period of time or for life.
• Debt mutual funds: Debt mutual funds invest in a variety of fixed-income securities, such as government bonds and corporate bonds. They offer relatively low risk and stable returns.

..Read more

Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |6971 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Jun 04, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Jun 03, 2024Hindi
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Money
Sir. I am 45 currently with gross income of Rs 2.5 lakhs and take home.salary of rs 1.70 lakhs. I want to retire at 60 with monthly income of rs 2.5 lakhs. Kindly advice how much and where to invest to achieve my goals
Ans: Evaluating Your Retirement Goal
Your goal to retire at 60 with a monthly income of Rs 2.5 lakhs is ambitious and achievable with proper planning. Let's break down the steps to achieve this goal.

Current Financial Position
Gross Income: Rs 2.5 lakhs per month.

Take Home Salary: Rs 1.70 lakhs per month.

You have 15 years until retirement. Time is your biggest asset in building a substantial retirement corpus.

Estimating Retirement Corpus
Desired Monthly Income Post-Retirement: Rs 2.5 lakhs.

Annual Requirement: Rs 2.5 lakhs * 12 = Rs 30 lakhs.

Inflation Adjustment: Assuming an average inflation rate of 6%, the future value of Rs 30 lakhs in 15 years would be approximately Rs 72 lakhs annually.

Retirement Corpus Calculation: To generate Rs 72 lakhs annually, assuming a safe withdrawal rate of 4%, you will need a corpus of approximately Rs 18 crores.

Investment Strategy
1. Determine Monthly Savings:

Based on your current income and expenses, determine how much you can save and invest each month. Ideally, aim to save and invest at least 30-40% of your take-home salary.

2. Diversified Portfolio:

Invest in a diversified portfolio of mutual funds, stocks, and fixed income instruments. This balances risk and growth.

Investment Options and Allocation
Equity Mutual Funds:

Growth Potential: High returns over the long term.
Risk: High volatility, but suitable for a 15-year horizon.
Allocation: Allocate around 60-70% of your savings here.
Debt Mutual Funds:

Stability: Lower risk and stable returns.
Purpose: Balances the portfolio and provides safety.
Allocation: Allocate around 20-30% here.
Public Provident Fund (PPF):

Safety: Government-backed and risk-free.
Tax Benefits: Offers tax-free returns.
Allocation: Consider contributing up to the maximum limit.
Systematic Investment Plan (SIP):

Regular Investment: Invest a fixed amount monthly in mutual funds.
Rupee Cost Averaging: Reduces the impact of market volatility.
Calculating Monthly Investment
Future Value Calculation:

To reach Rs 18 crores in 15 years, calculate the monthly investment required. Assuming an average annual return of 12% from your investments:
FV = Future Value (Rs 18 crores)
PV = Present Value (monthly investment)
r = monthly return (1% for 12% annual)
n = number of months (180 months for 15 years)
Using financial formulas or a retirement calculator can provide precise figures. However, a rough estimate suggests investing approximately Rs 1 lakh per month.

Steps to Implement the Plan
1. Automate Savings:

Set up automatic transfers to your investment accounts. This ensures disciplined saving and investing.

2. Regular Review:

Review and adjust your investment portfolio annually. Ensure it aligns with your goals and risk tolerance.

3. Emergency Fund:

Maintain an emergency fund covering at least 6-12 months of expenses. This ensures you don't dip into your retirement savings for emergencies.

4. Health Insurance:

Ensure adequate health insurance coverage. Medical expenses can be a significant burden in retirement.

Benefits of Investing through MFD
Professional Guidance:

Certified financial planners and MFDs provide expert advice on fund selection and investment strategies.

Regular Monitoring:

MFDs regularly monitor and review your portfolio, ensuring it remains aligned with your goals.

Tax Efficiency:

Professionals help in structuring your investments to maximize tax benefits.

Conclusion
With a disciplined investment strategy and regular review, achieving your retirement goal is feasible.

Invest in a diversified portfolio, automate savings, and consult with a certified financial planner for personalized advice.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in

..Read more

Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |6971 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Jul 22, 2024

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Money
Hi, my age 24 and salary is 30k. I am investing one hybrid fund as 2k, one ELSS 1K, one index fund 1k, one debt fund 1k. Totally 5k i am investing. I would like to retire at 40 or 45 with 2 L as monthly income. So how can I achieve that and what are all the possibility?
Ans: Assessing Your Current Investment Portfolio

Let's start by analyzing your current investments:

Rs 2,000 in a hybrid fund
Rs 1,000 in an ELSS fund
Rs 1,000 in an index fund
Rs 1,000 in a debt fund
You are investing Rs 5,000 monthly, which is commendable at your age of 24. However, achieving a monthly income of Rs 2 lakhs by the age of 40 or 45 will require a strategic approach.

Goals and Investment Strategy
Retirement Corpus Goal
To retire with Rs 2 lakhs as a monthly income, you need a substantial retirement corpus. This will require disciplined and strategic investing.

Disadvantages of Index Funds
While index funds have lower fees, they are passively managed. This means they cannot outperform the market. Actively managed funds, on the other hand, are handled by professional fund managers aiming to outperform the market. They offer better potential returns, especially for aggressive goals.

Importance of Actively Managed Funds
Actively managed funds have the potential to deliver higher returns. The expertise of fund managers can help in selecting high-performing stocks. This can help you achieve your goal more efficiently.

Suggested Investment Allocation
Increase Equity Exposure
Given your young age and long investment horizon, increasing your equity exposure can be beneficial. Equity funds generally provide higher returns over the long term compared to debt funds.

Balanced Hybrid Funds
Balanced hybrid funds offer a mix of equity and debt. This can provide stability and growth. You can consider increasing your investment in such funds.

ELSS for Tax Benefits
ELSS funds not only offer tax benefits under Section 80C but also provide good returns. Continuing with your ELSS investment is a good strategy.

Regularly Review and Adjust
It is essential to review your portfolio regularly. Adjust your investments based on market conditions and your financial goals.

Steps to Achieve Your Retirement Goal
Increase Monthly Investments
If possible, increase your monthly investments. Even a small increase can have a significant impact over time due to compounding.

Automate Investments
Setting up a systematic investment plan (SIP) will ensure regular investments. This will also reduce the risk of market timing.

Diversify Portfolio
Diversification reduces risk. Ensure your portfolio has a good mix of equity, debt, and hybrid funds.

Seek Professional Guidance
A Certified Financial Planner can provide personalized advice. They can help in selecting the right funds and strategies based on your goals.

Final Insights
Achieving a monthly income of Rs 2 lakhs by the age of 40 or 45 is ambitious but possible.

It requires disciplined saving and smart investing. Increase your equity exposure and review your investments regularly. Seek professional guidance to ensure you are on the right track.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP

Chief Financial Planner

www.holisticinvestment.in

..Read more

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Anu Krishna  |1269 Answers  |Ask -

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Hi Madam, I'm 60,retired, my wife is 47, our son is 23. I had love marriage and was leading a happy married life. Just after silver jubilee of our wedding anniversary I accidentally came to know that my wife is madly in love with one of our common married friend who runs a simple shop. Upon investigation I found that they are in relation for last 12 years and were enjoying sex in my own house for such a long time. He hails from an uneducated family and is not even cultured. I could not believe that the wife of a highly educated socially respected man could do this with a shopkeeper who does not have any socio economic status. I am living a normal life with my wife for the sake of our only child. Once he settles in life I have decided to end my life. Ofcourse I still love her as ours was a love marriage. I seek your wise suggestion in this regard, should I divorce her or live a normal life that we are doing?
Ans: Dear Shristi,
It is obviously very shocking for you to know that things have been happening behind your back.
Now, how you want this to move on from here on, is a decision only you must make! Have you had a chat with your wife about the association that she has with the other person? Does she know that you know about it?
If she doesn't, then you need to make her aware and yes, do ask her whether she is interested at all in the marriage. That will give you an idea as to whether things are worth fighting for or is it best to walk away!

All the best!
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Drop in: www.unfear.io
Reach me: Facebook: anukrish07/ AND LinkedIn: anukrishna-joyofserving/

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Anu Krishna  |1269 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Nov 05, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Nov 03, 2024Hindi
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Hello madam I a 32 year old married man with a kid , who is 6 years old. I have done arrange marriage with my own decision I agreed to my parents for the marrige at that time I was in a casual relationship with a girl I didn't said anything to the girl and get married to someone else. After that I tried to live a happay life with my wife without thinking about the girl whom I left behind, from outside I tried to be happy with my wife but my wife thought doesn't matches with me so I felt so disturbed from inside. Still I was trying to continue the relationship for sake of our child but suddenly I got my ex love contact and I was so happy that after so long time I got a chance to talk to her, I have tried to meet her but she always refused to meet me because she was in a relationship. I tried many times and due to some misconduct I again lost her for the second time. At this moment when she is not with me her thoughts memories are troubling me so much I am in pain, what am I suppose to do to get rid of the pain?? Please help
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
There is no point wanting a 'past' relationship just because you have one...what if that relationship did not exist, you would have possibly made efforts to make your marriage work, right?
Then do just that...DO NOT treat your marriage as an option...which marriage is a perfect one? And are all spouses tailor-made to fit one another?
So, if her thoughts don't match with yours, then even yours don't match with hers...so, should she also think of jumping into some other relationship. Please act mature about this especially with a child in the entire equation; try and understand each other...speak about your differences and find ways of working on them by accepting them. Ex-love etc looks all very nice, but come down to ground reality; please...work on your marriage!

All the best!
Anu Krishna
Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
Drop in: www.unfear.io
Reach me: Facebook: anukrish07/ AND LinkedIn: anukrishna-joyofserving/

...Read more

Ravi

Ravi Mittal  |395 Answers  |Ask -

Dating, Relationships Expert - Answered on Nov 05, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Sep 15, 2024Hindi
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I am 50 years old and got married 15 years ago. I am a very spontaneous sort of a guy and enjoy life, partying etc. I was also very active socially.My wife being the complete opposite put a stop to all that once we got married. She also does not display any affection and has no interest in physical intimacy. She is just concerned with her housework.We also have lot of differences in mental attitude & intellectual abilities. At no stage will we ever seperate, however, I am unhappy with her nature. She has lot of friends, however is always at daggers drawn with in her in laws. We had to stay separately for 6 months, and I tried looking for love else where, however after a couple of months, I realised, that I missed her. I am in a quandary. Despite requesting her to work on our relationship, I get no response. Please advise on how to proceed.
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
I understand you are in a tough spot. But it's nice to see that after all those years of differences, you still have genuine feelings for her. I strongly suggest considering marriage counseling. From your description of your marriage, it seems to be there have been issues from the very beginning of it. It's been too long and now those issues must've become deep-rooted. Seeing a professional can be a game-changer. They can guide you out of this slump more methodically and help you navigate the emotions you are feeling right now. It can also help you understand the reasons for your wife's disinterest and handle it better.

Best Wishes

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Ravi

Ravi Mittal  |395 Answers  |Ask -

Dating, Relationships Expert - Answered on Nov 05, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Nov 02, 2024Hindi
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Hii, I have an love marriage after 9 years of dating and 6 years, 2 children post marriage, my little one is 11 months old now. My husband has an affair upto chatting to someone in his company, his junior but in different department, when my Lil one was 1 month old, we had in a rough patch then due to child birth and family drama. When I saw it and confronted him, he said he is sorry and won't do it again, we had multiple fights for 3-4 months after then due to same reason, but he mostly listen and consol. It's been a lot of mental torture for me. I love my husband a lot and he is a good person, but sometimes sill I see her msg in his phone asking for small helps or casual msg. She is also married. I am not sure my husband deletes msg or what, I am not able to get over this. Before it, this is was preety much a good relationship. I am highly educated and independent women. I don't want anything form my husband apart from love. What should I do, whenever I tell him I want to just leave and let him have his life, he won't let me somehow. We are having a good physical relationship 2-4 times a week( just to tell where we are). Please help me...I can't overcome that he is making fool of me...
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
I am sorry to hear you are in such a tough spot. I would suggest considering marriage counseling. A professional who can help you both tackle these issues would be helpful in this situation. I understand that it was his mistake and he needs to put the effort to make you trust him again, but since you are still together, you will also have to put in the effort to let it. I know it is difficult and that's where marriage counselor comes in. They can help you navigate these feelings. Moreover, if he is indeed hiding something, therapy can help that come out in the open.

Hope this helps.

...Read more

Ravi

Ravi Mittal  |395 Answers  |Ask -

Dating, Relationships Expert - Answered on Nov 05, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Sep 10, 2024Hindi
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Relationship
Hi, Me(M38) and wife(F37) happily married for 12 years and blessed with one daughter. Partner(F28)continuing friendship with a person[M] who had crush on her before marriage considered emotional infidelity? Me(M38) and wife(F37) happily married for 12 years and blessed with one daughter. My wife is having friendship (strictly platonic) with a guy from her 10tlh grade (same class). Before our marriage (she may be doing her college, our relationship just started may be 2 weeks) this guy told her he has genuine interest in her and he want to take the relationship further if she wants, she said she is not interested in a relationship and she got committed, she always saw him as a friend, no other feelings for him and we can be friends if you don't bring any romantic interest again. He never took this talk again ever after and happy to be a friend. They are talking as friends. She got married to me. He also got married. They still do chats once in a month. She introduced me to him and visited his home when we visited his city. He also came to our home once (me and my family was there). She used to update me with chat she had with him and the content they are chatting. I am ok with that When we were talking about our school life and college life 2 years before. She said this guy had crush on her during her college days. I asked her, why did not she tell me this info till now. She said it is not purposely, she does not feel the need to do as the person is not in-appropriate with her and continuing as good friend as promised after she rejected his proposal. I don’t want to create any unnecessary issues as I don’t have any felling or so with him. That time I checked their chats completely, it’s about update about their common friends, their recent travel, their job, meditation courses and the books they read recently. I haven’t seen any flirting or romantic message from either of them. So I am perfectly fine with it and had no problems. I recently came to know about the concept of emotional cheating which is very new to me. Before that cheating to me is only flirting, sexeting and physical sex. I have asked for advice in redddit.com in infedility sub forum about emotional cheating/ emotion affair. There persons are advising like even having friendship with someone who had crush on you is emotional cheating as it is indirectly leading them on you. So with an omission of lie he had crush on her and indirectly leading him on you wife was emotionally cheating on you. This is very much equal to cheating. I do have lots of friends in other gender, but no one had crush on me. Does this count as emotional cheating/affair as she did not mention he had crush on her before marriage? I am little depressed and not able to spend quality time with my wife who is in postpartum depression and take care of our daughter properly as before. Do you guys advise me how to navigate this situation?
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
Are you really going to ruin your happy relationship based on some new term you have learned recently? Emotional cheating and many more terms of the kind will come and go, what truly matters is the truth. She is merely friends with this guy and for your peace of mind, you have even checked their conversations- what part of it looks like cheating to you? If tomorrow, some random person projecting their own insecurities claims that a man speaking to a woman is some "new form" of cheating, would you start believing that? My point is that these are just random opinions of some people- it isn't the ultimate truth. The entire context matters. This man had a crush on your wife, she rejected it, and now they are just friends. I find absolutely no misconduct or infidelity in this. The fact that none of your friends had a crush on you does not factor in at all. Moreover, your wife is in postpartum depression- that should be your biggest concern but here you are, giving more importance to the random 2 AM thoughts of some people you don't even know. Please rethink if you are being fair to your wife- the mother of your child.

Best Wishes

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Ravi

Ravi Mittal  |395 Answers  |Ask -

Dating, Relationships Expert - Answered on Nov 05, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Oct 26, 2024Hindi
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Relationship
I (30M) am looking for Arranged Marriage Prospects. My Family has found a Prospect (27F) who seems like a Good Match, she's Well Educated, Earning Well & from the same Community. I haven't yet met her in Person, but connected with her on Social Media Platforms & interacting regularly. Recently, I scrolled through her Instagram Profile (It's a Public Profile). She seems to be a very Sociable Person, she has shared many Photos of herself, Partying/Travelling along with her Friends. My Problem is that she seems to like Wearing Clothes which are Revealing. She has shared many Photos/Videos, in which she's skimpily dressed (including some Bikini Photos at Beach/Swimming Pool). She also has a Pierced Navel Ring & Tattoos on some Private Parts like Chest, Hips, Thighs & Lower Back, which she flaunts proudly on Social Media. Though, I am not Judging her Character, based on her Choice of Clothing, but seeing all these made me a little Uncomfortable, as I am a very Modest & Simple Person myself. I have not discussed this issue with my Parents, as they have a very good opinion about her (which I don't want to Ruin). But I've discussed with some of my closest Friends (of both Genders) & some of them have Chided me for being so Judgemental. They suggested me to meet her atleast once in person, to understand what's her Character/Personality like. Shall I give it a try or Reject her Politely at this stage itself, without wasting any more Time (either her or mine)? Or am I being too Superficial to Judge a Woman, just based on her Social Media Profile, without even meeting her once, personally (This is what some of my closest Female Friends opined)? Please suggest me how to proceed with this Prospect in Arranged Marriage.
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
I know it might come off as you being judgmental of her choice of dressing, but you have a right to form an opinion in your mind, especially since in your case, you might be marrying the person. As long as you are not making up your mind about her based on her dressing, forcing her to dress the way she wants, or thrusting your opinion on her, it's alright. It's human nature to be a bit jerked by the choices others make that we won't make ourselves. Having said that, I believe meeting her once in person can be good for you; you might have a new perspective- both about her and on life. But no one can force you to do either. My suggestion is that do what you think is right- if you are sure you will reject this alliance based on her choice of clothes, even if she is the nicest person on the face of the earth, meeting up might be a waste of time. But if you think you are open to changing your mind, go for it.

I would also like for you to remember one important point if things work out between the two of you- do not try to push your opinions on dressing and change the way she is after getting married. That would not be fair. In case, you start hoping that she will change and fit YOUR mold of the perfect woman, I would strongly suggest keeping that thought in check.

Best Wishes.

...Read more

DISCLAIMER: The content of this post by the expert is the personal view of the rediffGURU. Investment in securities market are subject to market risks. Read all the related document carefully before investing. The securities quoted are for illustration only and are not recommendatory. Users are advised to pursue the information provided by the rediffGURU only as a source of information and as a point of reference and to rely on their own judgement when making a decision. RediffGURUS is an intermediary as per India's Information Technology Act.

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