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Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |7026 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Apr 27, 2024

Ramalingam Kalirajan has over 23 years of experience in mutual funds and financial planning.
He has an MBA in finance from the University of Madras and is a certified financial planner.
He is the director and chief financial planner at Holistic Investment, a Chennai-based firm that offers financial planning and wealth management advice.... more
Asked by Anonymous - Apr 26, 2024Hindi
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Hi Sir, I'm 36 now and have an existing Home loan of 20L, that I pay 40K monthly. (This shall finish by next 5 yrs). My net Take home is 1 LPM. what investment or NPS should I consider. (I currently have an existing SIP and PPF of 5K per month each, LIC of 35K per annum) excluding my son's tution fees etc. How can I build my portfolio for a decent amount at retirement and to obtain early financial freedom.

Ans: It's admirable that you're thinking ahead about your financial future and seeking ways to build a robust portfolio for retirement and early financial freedom. With your disciplined approach towards existing investments like SIPs, PPF, and LIC, you're already laying a strong foundation.

Considering your net take-home pay and existing commitments, it's essential to strike a balance between debt repayment and wealth accumulation. As your home loan nears completion in five years, redirecting the freed-up funds towards high-yield investments like mutual funds or National Pension System (NPS) can accelerate your journey towards financial independence.

A Certified Financial Planner can help tailor a diversified investment strategy that aligns with your goals and risk tolerance, optimizing returns while mitigating risks. Remember, achieving financial freedom requires patience, discipline, and a long-term perspective. By staying committed to your financial plan and periodically reviewing and adjusting it as needed, you can pave the way towards a secure and fulfilling future.
DISCLAIMER: The content of this post by the expert is the personal view of the rediffGURU. Users are advised to pursue the information provided by the rediffGURU only as a source of information to be as a point of reference and to rely on their own judgement when making a decision.
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Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |7026 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Jul 13, 2024

Money
I have FDs of 15 lakhs, 10 lakhs in bank, 13 lakhs in ppf which is 7 yrs old. 9.5 lakhs in SIP, 3.5 Lakhs in Stocks. 15lakhs+ in NPS. I am a central government employee in level 7(first table) . I also have a pension of about 30000/pm. I am 42 yrs old and want retire with an corpus of around 2.5 cr. Pls advise my investment portfolio
Ans: First, let’s review your existing investments and assets. You have:

FDs of Rs 15 lakhs
Rs 10 lakhs in the bank
Rs 13 lakhs in PPF, 7 years old
Rs 9.5 lakhs in SIPs
Rs 3.5 lakhs in stocks
Rs 15+ lakhs in NPS
A monthly pension of Rs 30,000
Your total current assets amount to approximately Rs 66 lakhs, excluding your pension. At age 42, with the goal of retiring with a corpus of Rs 2.5 crores, it's crucial to plan and invest wisely.

Evaluating Your Investment Goals
Your primary goal is to retire with a corpus of Rs 2.5 crores. Given your age and current investments, achieving this goal is feasible with disciplined planning. Let's break down your portfolio and suggest improvements.

Fixed Deposits (FDs)
You have Rs 15 lakhs in FDs. FDs offer safety but low returns, typically not enough to beat inflation. Consider reducing your FD investments and reallocating funds to higher-yield options.

Bank Savings
You have Rs 10 lakhs in the bank. Keeping a significant amount in savings is good for liquidity but not ideal for long-term growth. Maintain an emergency fund of 6-12 months' expenses and invest the rest.

Public Provident Fund (PPF)
Your PPF, worth Rs 13 lakhs, is a reliable, tax-free investment. Continue contributing to maximize benefits, as it offers decent returns with tax advantages.

Systematic Investment Plans (SIPs)
You have Rs 9.5 lakhs in SIPs. SIPs in mutual funds are excellent for long-term wealth creation. Ensure these funds are well-diversified across equity and debt.

Stocks
You hold Rs 3.5 lakhs in stocks. Direct stock investment can be volatile. Regularly review and balance your portfolio to mitigate risks.

National Pension System (NPS)
With Rs 15+ lakhs in NPS, you have a solid foundation for retirement. NPS offers tax benefits and market-linked returns. Continue your contributions to benefit from compounding.

Strategic Reallocation and Diversification
Reducing Fixed Deposits and Bank Savings
Consider reallocating Rs 10 lakhs from FDs and Rs 7 lakhs from your bank savings. This Rs 17 lakhs can be invested in mutual funds and other instruments to achieve better growth.

Enhancing Your SIP Portfolio
Increase your SIP investments to enhance your equity exposure. Diversify across large-cap, mid-cap, and small-cap funds for balanced growth. Actively managed funds can provide better returns than index funds due to professional management.

Maximizing PPF Contributions
Continue maximizing your annual PPF contributions. PPF offers safe, tax-free returns, ideal for long-term goals like retirement.

Reviewing Stock Investments
Evaluate your stock portfolio periodically. Focus on blue-chip stocks and consider investing through mutual funds for professional management and diversification.

Leveraging the NPS
Increase your NPS contributions if possible. The NPS offers flexibility with various investment options and tax benefits, making it a crucial part of your retirement plan.

Adding New Investment Avenues
Mutual Funds
Mutual funds, particularly actively managed ones, can offer superior returns compared to index funds. The professional expertise of fund managers can help navigate market fluctuations effectively. Consider investing in a mix of equity and debt funds based on your risk tolerance and goals.

Equity Mutual Funds
Invest in equity mutual funds for higher returns. They are suitable for long-term goals and can outpace inflation. Opt for large-cap, mid-cap, and multi-cap funds to diversify risk.

Debt Mutual Funds
Debt funds provide stability and regular returns. They are less volatile than equity funds and are suitable for short to medium-term goals. Invest in high-quality corporate bonds or government securities for safety.

Regular Funds through Certified Financial Planners
Invest in regular mutual funds through a Certified Financial Planner. While direct funds have lower expense ratios, regular funds offer professional advice and tailored strategies, ensuring your investments align with your financial goals.

Avoiding Index Funds
Index funds, while cost-effective, may not always provide the best returns. They mirror market indices and lack the flexibility to adapt to market changes. Actively managed funds, although costlier, can outperform index funds through strategic investments.

Planning for Retirement
Target Corpus and Monthly Contributions
To retire with Rs 2.5 crores in 18 years, systematic and disciplined investments are essential. Assume moderate growth rates and inflation to determine your monthly contribution. Adjust your savings and investments to align with this goal.

Balancing Growth and Safety
Maintain a balanced portfolio with a mix of equity, debt, and other asset classes. This balance ensures growth while protecting your corpus from market volatility.

Reviewing and Rebalancing
Regularly review your portfolio and rebalance as needed. Market conditions change, and your portfolio should adapt accordingly to stay on track with your retirement goal.

Additional Financial Planning Tips
Emergency Fund
Maintain an emergency fund covering 6-12 months of expenses. This fund should be in a liquid form, such as a savings account or liquid mutual funds, to ensure accessibility in emergencies.

Insurance
Ensure adequate life and health insurance coverage. Your life insurance should cover outstanding liabilities and provide for your family’s needs. Health insurance is crucial to avoid depleting your savings in case of medical emergencies.

Tax Planning
Leverage tax-saving instruments to maximize your returns. Investments in PPF, NPS, and ELSS funds offer tax benefits. Efficient tax planning can significantly boost your overall returns.

Estate Planning
Create a will and consider estate planning. This ensures your assets are distributed according to your wishes and reduces legal hassles for your heirs.

Monitoring and Adjusting Your Plan
Regular Reviews
Regularly review your financial plan with your Certified Financial Planner. Adjust your strategy based on changes in your financial situation, market conditions, and goals.

Staying Informed
Stay informed about market trends and new investment opportunities. Knowledge empowers you to make informed decisions and adapt your plan as needed.

Discipline and Patience
Investing is a long-term game. Maintain discipline and patience, and avoid making impulsive decisions based on short-term market movements.

Final Insights
Reaching a retirement corpus of Rs 2.5 crores by age 60 is achievable with strategic planning and disciplined investing. Diversify your portfolio, leverage the expertise of a Certified Financial Planner, and stay focused on your goals. Regularly review and adjust your plan to ensure it remains aligned with your objectives. With the right approach, you can secure a comfortable and financially stable retirement.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP

Chief Financial Planner

www.holisticinvestment.in

..Read more

Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |7026 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Jun 29, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Jun 29, 2024Hindi
Money
Hi, I am a 35 year old female working in an IT company in India with monthly salary of Rs. 70k. I am unmarried with no kids. I have about 30 lakhs in PPF, 10 lakhs in FD/Savings along with own car. I want to take a decent flat in an urban City within a year for which I have to take home loan of 50-60 lakhs and also plan for my retirement in the next 20 years. I have never invested in MF/SIPs earlier but want to start now. Please help me with plans to achieve the above goals and to create a portfolio of min. 5 crores by my retirement. Also, pl. Suggest some SIPs for starters which are medium in risk and returns along with any other investment options
Ans: Your goal of purchasing a flat and creating a retirement corpus of Rs. 5 crores by the time you retire is achievable with a well-structured plan. Let's break it down step-by-step to ensure we cover all aspects of your financial journey.

Current Financial Snapshot and Analysis

You are 35 years old, working in IT with a monthly salary of Rs. 70,000. Your current financial assets include:

PPF: Rs. 30 lakhs.
FD/Savings: Rs. 10 lakhs.
Own car.
You plan to take a home loan of Rs. 50-60 lakhs for buying a flat and start investing in mutual funds (MFs)/SIPs. You aim for a retirement corpus of Rs. 5 crores in the next 20 years.

1. Home Loan Planning

Buying a flat is a significant financial commitment. Here’s how you can approach it:

Down Payment: Use part of your FD/Savings for the down payment. Keep some funds aside for emergencies.
Loan Amount: You plan to take a loan of Rs. 50-60 lakhs. Ensure your EMI is manageable and does not exceed 40% of your monthly income.
2. Building an Emergency Fund

An emergency fund is crucial for financial security. You should have 6-12 months' worth of expenses saved.

Emergency Fund: Allocate Rs. 2-3 lakhs from your FD/Savings. Keep it in a liquid fund or savings account for easy access.
3. Retirement Planning

To achieve a retirement corpus of Rs. 5 crores in 20 years, you need a disciplined investment strategy.

PPF Contributions: Continue contributing to your PPF. It’s a safe, tax-free investment with decent returns.
Mutual Funds: Start SIPs in mutual funds to harness the power of compounding. Given your medium risk appetite, opt for a balanced portfolio of equity and debt funds.
4. Investment in Mutual Funds

Starting SIPs in mutual funds is a great way to build wealth over time. Here’s a plan for you:

Balanced Funds: These funds invest in both equity and debt, offering a mix of growth and stability. Ideal for beginners.
Equity Funds: Focus on large-cap and multi-cap funds. They are relatively less volatile and provide good returns.
Debt Funds: Include debt funds for stability and regular income. They are less risky compared to equity funds.
5. Systematic Investment Plan (SIP) Strategy

Starting SIPs will help you systematically invest and grow your wealth. Here’s a suggested allocation:

Monthly SIP Amount: Start with Rs. 20,000 per month.
Allocation:
40% in balanced funds.
40% in equity funds.
20% in debt funds.
6. Diversification and Regular Monitoring

Diversification reduces risk and maximizes returns. Regular monitoring ensures your investments are on track.

Diversify Investments: Spread your investments across different asset classes and sectors.
Regular Review: Review your portfolio annually. Rebalance if needed to maintain desired asset allocation.
7. Insurance Planning

Adequate insurance is essential for financial security.

Life Insurance: If you don’t have life insurance, consider getting a term plan. It’s affordable and provides substantial coverage.
Health Insurance: Ensure you have a comprehensive health insurance plan. It covers medical expenses without draining your savings.
8. Tax Planning

Effective tax planning helps you save more and invest better.

Tax-Saving Investments: Utilize the Rs. 1.5 lakhs limit under Section 80C through PPF, ELSS funds, and life insurance premiums.
Health Insurance: Premiums paid for health insurance are eligible for deduction under Section 80D.
9. Setting Financial Goals

Clear financial goals guide your investment strategy.

Short-Term Goals: Buying a flat, building an emergency fund.
Medium-Term Goals: Planning for vacations, buying a car.
Long-Term Goals: Retirement planning, creating a corpus for future needs.
10. Maintaining Financial Discipline

Financial discipline ensures you stay on track to achieve your goals.

Budgeting: Create a monthly budget. Track your income and expenses diligently.
Savings Habit: Aim to save at least 20-30% of your income. Automate your investments to ensure consistency.


I understand your ambition to secure a comfortable future and the excitement of buying your own flat. Your proactive approach towards financial planning is commendable.

You have already built a substantial corpus in PPF and FD/Savings, reflecting your disciplined savings habit. Starting investments in mutual funds is a smart move to grow your wealth.

Final Insights

Achieving a financial goal of Rs. 5 crores for retirement in 20 years requires a strategic approach. Here’s a summary of the steps to follow:

Home Loan Planning: Use savings for down payment, keep EMIs manageable.
Emergency Fund: Set aside Rs. 2-3 lakhs for emergencies.
Retirement Planning: Continue PPF contributions, start SIPs in balanced, equity, and debt funds.
SIP Strategy: Invest Rs. 20,000 per month in a diversified portfolio.
Insurance Planning: Ensure adequate life and health insurance coverage.
Tax Planning: Utilize tax-saving investments to maximize savings.
Financial Goals: Set clear short-term, medium-term, and long-term goals.
Financial Discipline: Maintain a budget, save consistently, and review your investments regularly.
Your financial journey is unique, and this plan will help you achieve your goals while ensuring financial security. Stay committed to your investments and regularly review your progress.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in

..Read more

Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |7026 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Jul 16, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Jun 29, 2024Hindi
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Money
Hi, I am a 35 year old female working in an IT company in India with monthly salary of Rs. 70k. I am unmarried with no kids. I have about 30 lakhs in PPF, 10 lakhs in FD/Savings along with own car. I want to take a decent flat in an urban City within a year for which I have to take home loan of 50-60 lakhs and also plan for my retirement in the next 20 years. I have never invested in MF/SIPs earlier but want to start now. Please help me with plans to achieve the above goals and to create a portfolio of min. 5 crores by my retirement. Also, pl. Suggest some SIPs for starters which are medium in risk and returns along with any other investment options.
Ans: You have a stable job with a monthly salary of Rs. 70k. Your savings include Rs. 30 lakhs in PPF and Rs. 10 lakhs in FD/Savings. You plan to buy a flat with a home loan and want to start investing in mutual funds.

Home Loan Planning

Taking a home loan of Rs. 50-60 lakhs is a big step. Ensure your EMI is manageable. Aim for an EMI that is less than 40% of your monthly income.

Starting with SIPs

SIPs are a great way to begin investing. They offer flexibility and are suitable for beginners.

Selecting SIPs for Starters

Diversified Equity Funds: These funds invest in a mix of large, mid, and small-cap stocks. They offer balanced growth and moderate risk.

Balanced Funds: These funds invest in both equity and debt. They provide stability and steady returns.

Flexi Cap Funds: These funds can invest across various market capitalizations. They adapt to market conditions and offer good growth potential.

Benefits of Actively Managed Funds

Actively managed funds are handled by expert fund managers. They aim to outperform the market. This is a better choice than index funds, which simply track market performance.

Disadvantages of Direct Funds

Direct funds require self-management. They lack professional guidance. Investing through a Certified Financial Planner (CFP) ensures better choices and portfolio management.

Retirement Planning

To achieve a retirement corpus of Rs. 5 crores in 20 years, invest regularly in SIPs. Increase your SIP amount by 10% every year. Also, diversify your investments to balance growth and risk.

Additional Investment Options

Debt Funds: These provide stability and regular income. They are less volatile than equity funds.

ELSS Funds: These offer tax benefits under Section 80C. They have a lock-in period of 3 years.

Final Insights

Investing in SIPs is a smart move. Start with diversified equity and balanced funds. Consult a Certified Financial Planner to tailor your investments to your goals. Regularly review and adjust your portfolio.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in

..Read more

Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |7026 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Jul 06, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Jul 05, 2024Hindi
Money
Hello Sir, I'm a 44 yrs married guy with 5 dependents. I have an annual income of 30L housing loan of around 1 cr against three properties which are currently valued at around 2 Cr. I started a bit late, and MFs portfolio of around 15L. I have room to invest another 10-15K for building a corpus of around 2CR, and/or monthly pension of around 2L p.m., for my retirement. Should I go with NPS or PPF or some guaranteed money back plans, please suggest.
Ans: It's impressive that you’re already investing despite starting late. You have a solid foundation with your current income and properties.

Your annual income of Rs. 30 lakhs is substantial, and you have a good investment portfolio with mutual funds worth Rs. 15 lakhs.

You also have three properties valued at around Rs. 2 crores, which is significant.

Your housing loan of around Rs. 1 crore is something to consider when planning your investments.

It's great that you can invest another Rs. 10-15K monthly to build a corpus of Rs. 2 crores or aim for a monthly pension of Rs. 2 lakhs for retirement.

Now, let’s dive into the best ways to achieve your financial goals.

Evaluating Investment Options
Mutual Funds
Mutual funds are excellent for long-term wealth creation due to their compounding power.

You can invest in different categories like equity, debt, and hybrid funds.

Equity Funds: These invest in stocks and offer high returns over the long term but come with higher risks.

Debt Funds: These invest in fixed-income instruments and are less risky but provide lower returns compared to equity funds.

Hybrid Funds: These invest in both equity and debt, balancing risk and return.

Advantages of Mutual Funds
Diversification: Reduces risk by investing in a variety of assets.

Professional Management: Managed by experts to maximize returns.

Liquidity: Easy to buy and sell as per your needs.

Compounding: Reinvested earnings grow your investment exponentially over time.

Risks of Mutual Funds
Market Risks: Values fluctuate with market conditions.

Credit Risks: Possibility of default by debt issuers.

Liquidity Risks: Challenges in selling holdings quickly.

The Power of Compounding
Compounding is earning returns on your returns, significantly growing your investment over time.

Starting now, even with Rs. 10-15K monthly, can build a substantial corpus due to compounding.

Disadvantages of Index Funds
Index funds track market indices and offer low-cost investing but have some downsides.

Limited Returns: Only match market performance, no potential for excess returns.

No Active Management: Lack flexibility to capitalize on market opportunities.

Benefits of Actively Managed Funds
Actively managed funds can outperform the market due to expert management.

Potential for Higher Returns: Fund managers can exploit market inefficiencies.

Risk Management: Active monitoring and adjustment based on market conditions.

National Pension System (NPS)
NPS is a government scheme offering tax benefits and a pension upon retirement.

Advantages:

Tax Benefits: Under Section 80C and 80CCD.

Pension: Regular income post-retirement.

Disadvantages:

Market Risk: Investments in equities and bonds are subject to market fluctuations.

Lock-in Period: Funds are locked until retirement with limited withdrawal options.

Public Provident Fund (PPF)
PPF is a government-backed scheme offering safe returns and tax benefits.

Advantages:

Safety: Backed by the government, hence low risk.

Tax Benefits: Under Section 80C.

Returns: Reasonable, fixed interest rate.

Disadvantages:

Lock-in Period: 15-year lock-in with partial withdrawals after a few years.

Lower Returns: Compared to equities and mutual funds.

Guaranteed Money Back Plans
These are insurance-cum-investment plans offering guaranteed returns.

Advantages:

Safety: Guaranteed returns and insurance cover.

Regular Payouts: Ensures periodic returns during the policy term.

Disadvantages:

Low Returns: Typically lower than mutual funds and equities.

Complexity: Often have high charges and low transparency.

Assessing Your Goals
Given your goals, focusing on mutual funds can be beneficial.

They offer potential high returns and flexibility to achieve your Rs. 2 crore corpus and Rs. 2 lakh monthly pension.

Investment Strategy
Systematic Investment Plan (SIP)
Start a SIP in diversified mutual funds for disciplined and regular investing.

SIP reduces market volatility impact and builds a substantial corpus over time.

Diversification
Diversify across equity, debt, and hybrid funds based on your risk appetite and time horizon.

Reviewing Your Investments
Regularly review your investments and make adjustments as needed.

Consulting with a Certified Financial Planner can ensure your investments align with your goals and risk profile.


You’re on the right track, and your commitment to investing is commendable.

Starting late doesn’t mean you can’t achieve your goals; with the right strategy, you can build a secure financial future.

Your efforts in securing your family's future show responsibility and foresight.

Final Insights
To build a corpus of Rs. 2 crores and a monthly pension of Rs. 2 lakhs, focusing on mutual funds is advisable.

They offer high returns, diversification, and professional management, crucial for long-term wealth creation.

Avoid guaranteed money-back plans due to their lower returns and complexity.

NPS and PPF offer tax benefits but have limitations like lock-in periods and lower returns.

Regularly review your investments and stay committed to your goals.

Your financial journey is unique, and with careful planning and execution, you can achieve your retirement goals.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in

..Read more

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Dr Shyam

Dr Shyam Jamalabad  |78 Answers  |Ask -

Dentist - Answered on Nov 14, 2024

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Dr. Shyam, I had my teeth cleaned 6 months ago and after that was done I saw discoloration on certain teeth that wasn't there before. Years ago I had my teeth cleaned and one particular tooth after the cleaning was sensitive to touch. I had a crown put in from two different dental offices. The first one did the crown right, but was trying to charge me $3,500 more than the agreement they made with Medicare. Medicare corrected that. I other dentist did a crown and it didn't go all the way up to my gums and is sensitive to especially cold things. I'm not having very good experiences with dentist by and large. Can't find an honest one or one that can actually do the job right. I feel being on Medicare your a target to bring in money. Not sure what to do next. Supposed to go back and have them redo the crown that didn't go to my gums, but it also was ttd place to didn't clean my teeth right and discolored some of them. Any suggestions on how to trust there is actually an capable and honest dentist out there who can perform properly?
Ans: Identifying a capable and honest dentist is crucial for your oral health and well-being. Here are some tips to help you find one:

1. Ask for referrals: Ask friends, family, or coworkers for recommendations. They can provide valuable insights into a dentist's work quality and bedside manner.

2. Check credentials: Ensure the dentist has the necessary qualifications, certifications, and licenses. You can verify this information with your state's dental board or professional organizations like the American Dental Association (ADA).

3. Check online reviews: Look up the dentist on review platforms. Pay attention to the overall rating and read the comments to understand the strengths and weaknesses. At the same time, do not rely on reviews alone as these can be manipulated, fake reviews can be easily generated.

4. Evaluate their communication style: A good dentist should listen to your concerns, explain procedures clearly, and answer questions patiently. Ensure you feel comfortable asking questions and discussing your treatment.

5. Assess their facility and equipment: A well-organized and modern dental office with up-to-date equipment is a good sign.

6. Check their approach to preventive care: A capable dentist emphasizes preventive care, including regular cleanings, exams, and education on oral hygiene.

7. Be wary of over-treatment: A honest dentist will not recommend unnecessary procedures. Be cautious if you feel pressured into extensive treatments.

8. Trust your instincts: If something feels off or you don't click with the dentist, it's okay to explore other options.

10. Schedule a consultation: Many dentists offer initial consultations or meet-and-greets. Use this opportunity to assess their approach, ask questions, and gauge your comfort level.

By following these steps, you can increase your chances of finding a capable and honest dentist who prioritizes your oral health and well-being.

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Ravi

Ravi Mittal  |416 Answers  |Ask -

Dating, Relationships Expert - Answered on Nov 14, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Nov 03, 2024Hindi
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Relationship
Hi, I am 30 years old not married & now my parents are forcing me to get married. I think i am good looking guy. It's not like i have never been with girls. I have had brief flings with multiple girls. And there was one girl whom i was in a platonic relationship with with lot of emotional sharing & have spent a lot of time with her. The same goes with another girl. Both of them have told me that i have been pretty cool & girls would like me to be their bf or husband. But i am not able to accept anyone because of the guilt that of my past that i never had a relationship. Never been able to tell anyone that i had a gf. I know this is wrong to compare my life but i can't stop thinking that way. Can you tell me what to do? Like a contsant regret of not having a very steamy cool fancy relationship from outside. I know relationships have it's own ups & downs. But this guilt is killing me that i missed out lot of things in life & if get married in an arranged marriage i would feel myself to be a looser who couldn't even find a girl on his own. Though i know all of these comparisons are wrong & i should be rational. I am not able to help it. Please help me out
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
Whatever you are feeling, it is very normal. More people than you could imagine go through this same phase. But as you mentioned, these are just thoughts; there is no truth to them. Not having a relationship does not make you uncool. It merely means that you did not meet your perfect match yet. I understand that you feel like you have missed out on something and that feeling is valid. It might not be reasonable, but it's very natural to think this way. I can suggest one thing- why don't you try a dating or matchmaking app to find your own partner? That way, you will be keeping your parents' wishes and won't let yourself down either. It will also give you more control over choosing your life partner.

Hope this helps.

...Read more

Ravi

Ravi Mittal  |416 Answers  |Ask -

Dating, Relationships Expert - Answered on Nov 14, 2024

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Relationship
Hi, I got married to my ex gf in an arranged setup. I had a 7 year of relationship with her before breakup. My career switch try from private to govt job was the reason. When I failed I returned back to corporate. 3 years after the breakup her father who is a good friend of my father sent proposal which led to our marriage. No one knew that we dated. We never had a word between the acceptance and marriage. None of us initiated the conversation. When she came after marriage her behavior towards me in private is totally strange. We never had an emotional conversation. Neither we discuss romance nor intimacy. In private we hardly have any intellect discussions which was an eternal part before our breakup. But when she is in public she behaves like she cares for me a lot. She is a darling of everyone in the house whether my parents or siblings. Most of the time she remains with my mother and she has good bond. In front of her she cares for me a lot. She had this double faced attitude from the first day. Our intimacy is limited to my ask she could agree or disagree but she never initiated it. She was pretty passionate before our breakup which I never saw after our marriage. I tried everything but nothing has happened she never opened up. She disconnected with almost all our mutual friends after marriage. Whenever I tried through some of her friends she says to them I overthink a lot. Marriages and relationships differs. All useless and weird reasons. Everyone blames my teenage short temper issue. Which I have completely overcame when I started working. After marriage we had a boy. She says no for a next child for which I am fine. But the problem is now my child is growing and she has started understanding her hypocrisy. Now she blames me for teaching him wrong things. We hardly had fights as she walks out or I won't say word usually after she didn't answer for anything. I am unable to see the light in this relationship. She had 3 relationships in between but I never had one which I never discussed. Now I hardly ask for anything. Day by day we are becoming only room partners or fake couples in public. Everyone sees her as an ideal daughter in law or wife due to her public hypocrisy. Please guide.
Ans: Dear Salman,
I understand that marital issues take a huge toll on people. Whatever you are feeling, it is very normal. I strongly suggest you seek professional help- you can either opt for personal counseling sessions to manage the distress caused by your partner's indifference, or the best approach is to convince your wife to go for marriage counseling with you. It would be good to get to the root of the matter; why is she behaving a certain way, where is this coming from, are there unresolved issues from when you dated? These questions will finally get an answer and you can work on them together. If she does not agree to go, tell her to do it for your child. No child should have to see their parents unhappy with each other.

Hope this helps.

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Dr Nagarajan J S K

Dr Nagarajan J S K   |163 Answers  |Ask -

Health Science and Pharmaceutical Careers Expert - Answered on Nov 14, 2024

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I want to give NEET exam but my 12th in Maharashtra Board marks are less than 150 in PCB (general), so I am not eligible. can I give retest of 12th to get better marks so that I can give NEET.
Ans: Hi, Being a retest candidate is considered a second attempt in +2. I think the medical council will not allow admission to medicine. Instead, you can consider B.Pharm / Pharm D.

To join, the following are the requirements:

For pharm D: Minimum qualification for admission to. – a) Pharm.D. Part-I Course – A pass in any of the following examinations - (1) 10+2 examination with Physics and Chemistry as compulsory subjects along with one of the following subjects: Mathematics or Biology. (2) A pass in D.Pharm course from an institution approved by the Pharmacy Council of India under section 12 of the Pharmacy Act. (3) Any other qualification approved by the Pharmacy Council of India as equivalent to any of the above examinations. Provided that a student should complete the age of 17 years on or before 31st December of the year of admission to the course.

FOR B.PHARM:
Minimum qualification for admission to – A. First year B. Pharm – A pass in any of the following examinations - i. Candidate shall have passed 10+2 examination conducted by the respective state/central government authorities recognized as equivalent to 10+2 examination by the Association of Indian Universities (AIU) with English as one of the subjects and Physics, Chemistry, Mathematics/Biology as optional subjects individually. “However, the students possessing 10+2 qualification from non-formal and non-class rooms based schooling such as National Institute of Open Schooling, open school systems of States etc. shall not be eligible for admission to B.Pharm Course.” ii. Any other qualification approved by the Pharmacy Council of India as equivalent to any of the above examinations. Provided that a student should complete the age of 17 years on or before 31st December of the year of admission to the course. Provided that there shall be reservation of seats for the students belonging to the Scheduled Castes, Scheduled Tribes and other Backward Classes in accordance with the instructions issued by the Central Government/State Government/Union Territory Administration as the case may be from time to time.

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