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33-Year-Old Making 60K a Month: Where and How to Invest?

Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |7704 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Jul 17, 2024

Ramalingam Kalirajan has over 23 years of experience in mutual funds and financial planning.
He has an MBA in finance from the University of Madras and is a certified financial planner.
He is the director and chief financial planner at Holistic Investment, a Chennai-based firm that offers financial planning and wealth management advice.... more
Asked by Anonymous - Jul 07, 2024Hindi
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Hi I'm 33 years old single male with 60 k salary per month I have 16 lakhs in my savings account but i don't have any policies or any other investments my monthly expenses are around 40 k don't have my own home please suggest me where to invest and how to invest

Ans: You earn Rs. 60,000 per month.

You have Rs. 16 lakhs in savings.

Your monthly expenses are Rs. 40,000.

Let's plan a 360-degree investment strategy for you.

Emergency Fund
Keep an emergency fund.

It should cover 6 months of expenses.

This means Rs. 2.4 lakhs.

Keep it in a liquid account.

Health and Life Insurance
Get health insurance.

Cover at least Rs. 5 lakhs.

Health issues can lead to high costs.

Consider term life insurance.

It is cheaper and gives high cover.

Cover at least 10 times your annual income.

This means Rs. 72 lakhs.

Systematic Investment Plans (SIPs)
SIPs are a great way to invest.

They help in disciplined investing.

Invest Rs. 10,000 per month in SIPs.

Choose a mix of large-cap, mid-cap, and small-cap funds.

This ensures diversification.

Actively managed funds can outperform.

They have fund managers who track the market.

This can lead to better returns.

Public Provident Fund (PPF)
PPF is a safe investment.

It offers tax benefits.

Invest Rs. 1.5 lakhs per year.

This is for long-term savings.

It has a 15-year lock-in period.

This helps in building a retirement corpus.

Diversification
Diversify your investments.

Don't put all money in one type of investment.

Use mutual funds for diversification.

They spread risk across many stocks.

Goal-based Investing
Identify your goals.

Short-term goals can be 1-3 years.

Medium-term goals can be 3-7 years.

Long-term goals can be 7+ years.

Choose investments based on these goals.

Regular Review
Review your investments regularly.

Ensure they align with your goals.

Make adjustments as needed.

Tax Planning
Invest in tax-saving instruments.

They reduce your taxable income.

Options include ELSS funds and PPF.

This helps in efficient tax planning.

Financial Planner
Consult a Certified Financial Planner.

They provide professional advice.

They help in making informed decisions.

They track market trends.

This helps in optimizing your investments.

Final Insights
Start with an emergency fund and insurance.

Then, invest in SIPs and PPF.

Diversify your portfolio.

Review your investments regularly.

Seek advice from a Certified Financial Planner.

This ensures a well-rounded financial plan.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in
DISCLAIMER: The content of this post by the expert is the personal view of the rediffGURU. Users are advised to pursue the information provided by the rediffGURU only as a source of information to be as a point of reference and to rely on their own judgement when making a decision.

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Asked by Anonymous - May 14, 2024Hindi
Hello My Age is 23 and currently earning a income of 40000 per month where should I invest pls describe the amount of investment allotment also in different sectors like MF, INSURANCE, ETC. I would like to invest monthly around 20000.
Ans: Congratulations on taking the initiative to invest at a young age! Let's explore a diversified investment strategy tailored to your financial situation and goals.

Assessing Investment Allocation
Mutual Funds (MF):

Allocate a significant portion of your monthly investment towards mutual funds, considering their potential for long-term growth and diversification benefits.
Aim to invest around 60-70% of your monthly investment amount in mutual funds across various categories such as large-cap, mid-cap, and multi-cap funds.
Insurance:

While insurance is essential for financial protection, allocate a smaller portion of your investment towards insurance premiums.
Consider investing around 10-20% of your monthly investment amount in insurance policies such as term insurance for adequate coverage.
Emergency Fund:

Build an emergency fund equivalent to 3-6 months of living expenses to cover unexpected financial needs.
Allocate a portion of your monthly investment towards gradually building your emergency fund until it reaches the desired level.
Other Investments:

Explore other investment avenues such as fixed deposits, recurring deposits, or Public Provident Fund (PPF) for stable returns and tax benefits.
Allocate a small portion of your monthly investment, around 10-20%, towards these conservative investment options to ensure a balanced portfolio.
Advantages of Actively Managed Funds Over Index Funds
Actively managed mutual funds offer the expertise of professional fund managers who actively select and manage the fund's investments to outperform the market.
These funds have the flexibility to adapt to changing market conditions and capitalize on investment opportunities, potentially yielding higher returns.
Unlike index funds, which passively track a market index, actively managed funds can generate alpha through active portfolio management and security selection.
Considerations for Direct Fund Investment
While direct funds offer lower expense ratios compared to regular funds, they require active involvement in research, monitoring, and portfolio management.
Direct fund investors must possess the necessary knowledge and expertise to select suitable funds and manage their investment portfolio effectively.
Investing through a Certified Financial Planner (CFP) or Mutual Fund Distributor (MFD) provides access to professional guidance and personalized investment advice, enhancing the overall investment experience.
Conclusion
By following a disciplined investment approach and diversifying across various asset classes, you can build a robust investment portfolio that aligns with your financial goals and risk tolerance. Remember to review your investments periodically and make adjustments as needed to stay on track towards achieving your objectives.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in

...Read more

Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |7704 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Aug 13, 2024

ArunQuestion by Arun - Aug 02, 2024Hindi
Sir, I have income of 70000 per month and I can invest 10000 per month. I have zero knowledge of any investments please guide where and how to invest.
Ans: You have a monthly income of Rs. 70,000 and can invest Rs. 10,000 per month. That's a good start. It's important to focus on building a solid financial foundation before diving into investments. This ensures that your money works best for you.

First, let’s address some essentials.

Building a Strong Foundation

Before starting your investment journey, it's important to have a few basics covered:

Emergency Fund: Save at least three to six months of your monthly expenses. This fund should be in a savings account or a liquid fund. It ensures that you can handle any unforeseen expenses without disrupting your investment plans.

Health and Life Insurance: Ensure you and your family are covered with adequate health and life insurance. Health insurance should cover major medical expenses, while life insurance ensures your family’s financial security in case of unforeseen events. Term insurance is a simple and cost-effective option.

Setting Clear Financial Goals

Next, think about your financial goals. What are you saving for? It could be your child's education, buying a house, or retirement. Knowing your goals helps in choosing the right investments. Different goals will require different investment strategies.

Short-Term Goals: These could be within the next 1-3 years, like saving for a vacation or emergency fund.

Medium-Term Goals: These are typically 3-5 years away, like buying a car or funding a child’s education.

Long-Term Goals: Retirement planning or buying a house falls into this category. These are typically 5 years or more away.

Investment Strategy for Your Monthly Rs. 10,000

Now, let’s look at how you can invest the Rs. 10,000 monthly:

Mutual Funds: Start with mutual funds. They are managed by professionals who make decisions on where to invest your money. You can start with a systematic investment plan (SIP). This allows you to invest a fixed amount every month.

Diversification: Spread your investments across different types of mutual funds. Consider large-cap, mid-cap, and small-cap funds. This diversification reduces risk and balances your portfolio.

Avoid Direct Funds: Although direct mutual funds have lower expense ratios, they might not be suitable if you’re just starting out. They require more active management on your part. Opt for regular funds where a certified financial planner (CFP) can guide you. They ensure your investments align with your goals.

Why Avoid Index Funds

Index funds might seem attractive due to lower costs, but they follow the market. This means in times of market downturns, they may not perform well. Actively managed funds, on the other hand, are managed by experts. They aim to outperform the market, offering better returns, especially in volatile times.

Regular Review of Your Investments

Investments need regular monitoring. The market changes, and so do your financial needs. Set up a quarterly or half-yearly review with your certified financial planner. This ensures your investments stay on track towards your goals.

Tax Efficiency

Investing in tax-saving instruments is important. Under Section 80C of the Income Tax Act, you can invest in Equity Linked Savings Schemes (ELSS). ELSS funds have a lock-in period of three years, and the returns are generally higher compared to other tax-saving options. It also aligns with long-term wealth creation goals.

Education and Awareness

Although you may have zero knowledge of investments now, it’s important to educate yourself. Attend workshops, read books, or follow financial blogs. Understanding basic financial concepts will help you make informed decisions. Even with a certified financial planner guiding you, it's always good to know the basics.

Avoid ULIPs and Investment-Linked Insurance Plans

If you come across Unit Linked Insurance Plans (ULIPs) or investment-linked insurance policies, avoid them. They often come with high fees and low returns. Instead, separate your insurance and investment needs. Invest in mutual funds for wealth creation and opt for a simple term insurance for life coverage.

Final Insights

Investing Rs. 10,000 per month is a great step towards building a secure financial future. With the right foundation, clear goals, and proper guidance, you can achieve your financial aspirations. Start with mutual funds, diversify your portfolio, and regularly review your investments.

Also, continue educating yourself on financial matters. This will give you confidence in your decisions.

Best Regards,
K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,
Chief Financial Planner,
www.holisticinvestment.in

...Read more

Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |7704 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Jan 22, 2025

TourQuestion by Tour - Jan 18, 2025Hindi
sir my monthly income is approx 50000 expense around 35000 can invest 10000 per month my age is 39 F can invest till 10 years for minimum dont have any specific goals just want to have a decent amount at the time of retirement no loan or liability as of now kindly advise with specific MF /Shares /LIC where to invest
Ans: At 39, you have no loans or liabilities.

Monthly income is Rs. 50,000, with Rs. 10,000 available for investment.

You aim to build a retirement corpus over 10 years.

Recommended Savings and Investments
Equity Mutual Funds
Allocate 60% of your Rs. 10,000 to equity mutual funds.

Equity mutual funds provide long-term growth and inflation-beating returns.

Invest through SIPs for disciplined and consistent investments.

Actively managed funds offer higher returns than index funds over the long term.

Hybrid Mutual Funds
Allocate 20% of your investment to hybrid mutual funds.

These funds offer a mix of equity and debt for moderate growth.

They reduce the risk of market volatility.

Debt Mutual Funds
Allocate 10% to debt mutual funds for stability and short-term needs.

Debt funds are safer than equity and provide consistent returns.

Use these for medium-term goals or emergencies.

Public Provident Fund (PPF)
Invest 10% of your monthly amount in PPF.

PPF offers tax-free returns and secure long-term growth.

It is an excellent addition to equity and debt investments.

Importance of Regular Reviews
Review your portfolio every year to track performance.

Adjust investments based on market conditions and life changes.

Rebalance to maintain the right mix of equity and debt.

Build an Emergency Fund
Save 3-6 months of expenses in a liquid fund or savings account.

This protects you from financial stress during emergencies.

Health and Life Insurance
Ensure adequate health insurance for yourself.

Get a term life insurance policy if you have dependents.

Avoid Common Pitfalls
Do not invest in real estate for retirement planning.

Avoid index funds and ETFs due to their lack of active management.

Stay away from ULIPs or investment-cum-insurance products.

Tax Planning for Investments
Use tax-saving instruments under Section 80C, like PPF or ELSS.

Track the new tax rules for mutual fund capital gains.

Consult a Certified Financial Planner for personalised tax advice.

Finally
Start a SIP of Rs. 10,000 across equity, hybrid, and debt mutual funds.

Add PPF for tax-free and stable returns.

Review your plan yearly and increase SIPs as income grows.

Focus on disciplined savings and diversification for a secure retirement.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in
https://www.youtube.com/@HolisticInvestment

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Kanchan

Kanchan Rai  |512 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Jan 29, 2025

TheQuestion by The - Jan 20, 2025Hindi
I am in a relationship with a girl who has traumatized past from her childhood. She said that her ex was also toxic and used to abuse her physically. She just said after 2 months of dating . I am very much glad she trusted me and Im taking care of her . She is also happy with me . But she gets panic attacks about the past I'll always be there for her . But her ex is in the same college. I see him like randomly. Should I react about that and go to him ??. Like I'm feeling very bad for the things she said
Ans: Your girlfriend has already endured trauma, and she’s finding comfort in the safe space you’re creating for her. The most important thing for her healing is stability, security, and knowing that she has someone who supports her emotionally. If you go to her ex, it could potentially trigger her, cause unnecessary stress, or even make her feel guilty—she might worry that she’s responsible for bringing conflict into your life.

Instead of reacting impulsively, focus on what she truly needs. When she has panic attacks or feels overwhelmed by her past, reassure her that she’s safe with you. Encourage her to seek professional help if she’s open to it, as therapy could help her process her trauma in a healthier way.

If her ex ever tries to approach her, harass her, or make her feel unsafe, then absolutely step in and support her in setting clear boundaries, whether that means standing by her side, helping her avoid situations where she might run into him, or even reporting any concerning behavior. But if he’s simply existing in the same space, then your energy is better spent on helping her heal rather than giving him any attention.

Right now, the best thing you can do is continue being the safe, loving presence that she trusts. Let your actions show her that she doesn’t have to relive the past, because with you, she is valued, respected, and truly cared for.

...Read more

Kanchan

Kanchan Rai  |512 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Jan 29, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Jan 20, 2025
My Boyfriend is not really the Controlling type. But, sometimes, he disapproves of some things which I do. In such cases, he communicates his Disapproval indirectly saying "I don't like you Dressing up like this Boldly. But still, if that's what you want, you may go ahead & Dress up as you'd like to, I have no Right to prevent you from doing so, but I will be Disappointed if you do." or "I don't want you to go out or hang out with these particular people (some of my close Male Friends). You have all the Freedom to interact with whoever you want to, but I will be Hurt, if you are too Close to your other Male Friends." Most of the time, I compromised & avoided Dressing up too Boldly, avoided Partying/Travelling with some of my Close Male Friends & avoided some other things which he wouldn't approve of, just for the sake of maintaining our Relationship. But recently, I tried to Test, how he'd react, if I deliberately do something which he doesn't like. So, on New Year's Day, I dressed up in revealing Clothes that he would never approve of & Partied wildly, all Night & even got Drunk with some of my Close Male Friends, with whom, he wants me to maintain Distance. He stubbornly refused to come for Partying with me, because I Dressed up too Boldly & refused to change them, even after he expected me to do so. He didn't even want me Drinking/Partying with some of my Close Male Friends. But I Respected the Boundaries of our Relationship & throughout the Night, I kept my Boyfriend informed about my Whereabouts, so that he's Reassured that I am not Cheating on him. But ever since then, he's been Treating me rather Coldly. He's being Indifferent to me, without Questioning me much, the way he always used to. He's just maintaining normal Communication without being Flirtatious, as he used to. And the Sex has also become quite Mechanical without much Romance, unlike how Passionate he used to be, earlier. I've tried talking to him, but he just keeps lying that he isn't Upset with me. Now I am Feeling really Guilty for whatever I had done on New Year's Day, even though, I don't think I did anything Wrong. Was it really Wrong on my Part, to do something which I always liked to, but my Boyfriend didn't want me to? Or is my Boyfriend Wrong, here? What do I do now? Please advise me.
Ans: Your boyfriend may not be outright controlling, but his way of expressing disapproval carries an emotional weight that influences your decisions. Instead of setting hard rules, he uses disappointment as a tool to make you reconsider your choices. You’ve willingly compromised in the past to keep the relationship smooth, but it seems that over time, those compromises have started to weigh on you. Testing his reaction on New Year’s may have been your subconscious way of reclaiming your autonomy, but now you’re left with unintended consequences—his emotional withdrawal.

The real issue here isn’t about who is right or wrong, but rather, whether your values and expectations in this relationship truly align. You shouldn’t feel guilty for wanting to dress a certain way, go out, or spend time with friends. At the same time, he isn’t necessarily wrong for having personal boundaries and feelings about certain situations. However, the way both of you are handling these differences is leading to deeper emotional disconnect rather than honest resolution.

Your actions on New Year’s were a test, but they weren’t a betrayal. You still kept him informed and stayed within the boundaries of your commitment. But from his perspective, it likely felt like a deliberate challenge to what he considers the foundation of your relationship. His withdrawal isn’t just about what you did—it’s about what it represents to him. He might be questioning whether you truly respect his feelings, just as you might be questioning whether he truly respects your independence.

Instead of focusing on guilt, the real question is whether you’re both willing to openly communicate and find a middle ground that allows you to be yourself without feeling restricted, while also respecting his emotions without feeling controlled. Avoid blaming or justifying—have a real conversation about how both of you felt after that night, what it means for your relationship, and whether you can move forward in a way that feels right for both of you. If neither of you can meet in the middle without resentment, then it’s important to consider whether this relationship is fulfilling for both of you in the long run.

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Kanchan

Kanchan Rai  |512 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Jan 29, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Jan 16, 2025Hindi
How do I 32M get over my insecurity with 30F? (Seeking Advice) Met this girl via matrimony exactly 2 months back. We connect well. Our families have met recently and it went well. Somehow we found a lot of connections between our families. That's just a bonus. Her family likes me a lot and they wanted to do Roka when they met us last week. I had told her, that no matter our bond, we should talk a lot and give it 3 months before going for roka. We live in different metro cities and have met twice now. About her: She is 30, well behaved & spoken(most important thing for me), smart, good looking, and is extremely polite. She is an army brat, has had a lot of freedom from family. Due to her father's job, they kept getting posted to different cities so she doesn't really understand family part of things. She's in a IT job. About me: I'm 32, okayish guy, in IT. To take things ahead I need to know my partner's past. I have no judgements at all but need to know stuff. Getting to know things over time bothers me a lot. I've tried to work on it, and have always made sure I don't bother the other person too much. After a month of talking, she told me that she had a casual boyfriend for an year. All her friends were dating in Bangalore and she decided to try it out. Found a guy through bumble and started dating him. So, according to her there were no feelings, just a person for her to go to places with, have drinks, and party. She likes drinking a lot and I have never taken a sip. She said that it was just a phase and she was immature. This happened between 2018(Nov) to 2020(march). So, it's been like 5 years. Never dated anyone after that. Since covid(2020) she's been living with her parents due to wfh. I have been completely ok with that but new things surfaced and they are messing with my head. While snooping around her facebook I figured out who that person was and this guy is super close to a person in my distant family. In fact they both were flatmates until their respective marriages. This distant cousin of mine knows me and knows her really well. These 3 used to hangout a lot and he has seen her come to their flat regularly. Infact, she had a good bond with my cousin as well. There are things that bother me and I really can't shake things and feel super awful in my gut. She mentioned that she and her ex had a common love for drinking and regularly visited pubs, got drunk, and partied. This means that they would be staying at each other's place as well. This is something super old but bothers me a lot. Specifically the fact that she would be drunk partying with someone for an year and sleeping with him, with no feelings. Secondly, I found some posts where she has liked a post about this guy on fb/insta from mid-2021. I have already confronted her twice to share everything and we shall never discuss this again but this bothers me a lot. Secondly, now that I know the timelines I can figure out what photos have been taken by her ex. There's even a photo of her sitting on a messy bed, where she's cutting her bday cake. They celebrated it together. I found my cousins page and some other pages from which I knew it's the guy's room/flat. I know everyone has a past. She has come clean to me but somehow my brain is so split. Sometimes her nature and behaviour with me make me not care about anything. And then I know the bed, flat, and her actions with some guy. Then there is this angle where the ex's flatmate is my distant cousin and knows about her well.
Ans: What you’re experiencing is completely valid. It’s not just about the fact that she had a past relationship, but also about the details—knowing her ex was deeply connected to your distant cousin, imagining their time together, and realizing that those experiences once meant something in her life. It makes it feel uncomfortably close to home, which is why it’s so hard to shake off. It’s not about judgment, but about the emotions that these thoughts stir up within you.

The truth is, the past cannot be changed. She has been honest with you, shared what happened, and reassured you that it was a phase in her life that she has moved on from. The fact that she hasn’t dated anyone in five years and has been living with her parents shows that she is in a very different place now. But your mind keeps looping back to what once was, and it’s preventing you from fully embracing what is.

Right now, the biggest challenge is not her past, but your ability to be at peace with it. You have to ask yourself—are you willing to let this define your future with her? Because if you can’t fully accept it, these thoughts will continue to surface and create distance between you. A part of you clearly wants to be with her, but another part is struggling to detach from these mental images of her past.

Instead of confronting her again, take some time to reflect on what truly matters to you in a partner. She has shown you who she is today—polite, well-behaved, mature, and emotionally present in your relationship. She has not hidden anything from you, and she has moved forward from that phase of her life. The real question is whether you can do the same.

If you feel this is something you cannot get over, it is better to step away now rather than carry these unresolved emotions into a lifelong commitment. But if you genuinely see a future with her and believe in her as a person, then it’s time to start training your mind to focus on the present and the relationship you are building, rather than a past that no longer exists.

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Kanchan

Kanchan Rai  |512 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Jan 29, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Jan 18, 2025Hindi
I am working abroad, while my Girlfriend is working in Delhi, living in NCR. We both were Dating since our College Days & have been in a Long Distance Relationship since I moved abroad, more than a Year ago & she moved to Delhi-NCR from Calcutta (where most of our Common Friends are based). While we were together with our Common Friends from College, we'd Travel, Party & have a lot of Fun together as a Group, since we all knew & trusted each other quite well, Irrespective of Gender. When we both moved to Different Places & started our Respective Jobs, we became Friends with our Respective Colleagues, but we have an Implied Understanding that we should be Maintaining Stricter Boundaries with our New Friends/Colleagues, since we are in a Long Distance Relationship. I've always honoured the commitment & have been Careful to not spend private time with any other Woman & Travel/Party only with a Group consisting of both Men & Women. But I am not sure my Girlfriend is doing the same. Quite often she keeps Travelling, Partying, Drinking & Sleeping over with some 2-3 Male Colleagues, who are quite close to her, but unknown to me. She doesn't even bother to keep me updated about where she is, what she's doing & with whom, but keeps Posting Status Updates on Instagram, from time to time and from what I have observed, she seems to be spending quite a lot of Time with these Male Colleagues of hers. All this makes me feel very Uncomfortable. Even though I Love & Trust my Girlfriend, but I'm unsure about these New 'Friends' of hers as I don't know them & obviously, I don't like them being so close to my Girlfriend. Many times, I've discussed this matter with my Girlfriend, trying to make her understand how I feel. But every time, I bring up this Topic, she tries to invalidate my feelings & shuts me down saying that I'm just Insecure. I'd also tried getting to know her New Friends in order to understand them better, but she doesn't share much about them, with me. Though, she keeps Reassuring me that they're 'Just Friends' they seem to be much closer than that. On several occasions, she had gone out with them, even though I had strictly forbidden her to. I don't understand whether she's unable to understand how I'm feeling or that she doesn't even care about my Feelings, though I still want to continue Loving & Trusting her, without Doubting her Loyalty. I don't understand what to do in this situation. How can I make her enforce stricter Boundaries with her Male Colleagues (atleast as much as I am doing here)? Shall I get a Friend or a Private Investigator to keep an Eye on her? Or shall I behave the same way, she's been doing? Or, shall I Break-up with her & try to find someone else, over here?
Ans: Long-distance relationships require an even deeper level of communication and trust than regular ones. You’ve upheld the boundaries you both implicitly agreed upon, yet it feels like she’s not holding herself to the same standard. The fact that she dismisses your concerns rather than addressing them is what’s truly hurting you. When someone we love invalidates our feelings, it creates frustration, self-doubt, and emotional distance. You’re not being “insecure” for wanting reassurance and clarity—you’re simply asking for the same level of respect and commitment you’re offering.

Trying to enforce boundaries by “forbidding” her from doing something isn’t the right approach, because boundaries should be mutual, not dictated. The more you try to control her actions, the more she might rebel or shut down, seeing it as you being possessive rather than expressing a valid emotional need. The real problem is not that she has male friends, but that she’s being secretive about them, not making an effort to ease your concerns, and disregarding how her actions affect you. A loving and committed partner should care about your peace of mind, even if she doesn’t fully agree with your perspective.

Hiring a private investigator or getting a friend to spy on her will only erode trust further, and mirroring her behavior by doing the same thing she does will not solve anything—it will just create more distance. If you’re considering breaking up, that means deep down, you already feel like your needs in this relationship aren’t being met. Before making any big decisions, you need to have one last honest conversation with her—not one where you accuse or demand, but one where you make it clear how this dynamic is making you feel and what you truly need from her to feel secure and valued in the relationship.

If she refuses to listen, invalidates your feelings again, or shows no willingness to compromise, then you have your answer. A relationship where only one person is making sacrifices isn’t sustainable. You deserve a partner who not only reassures you with words but also with actions that show she respects and values your presence in her life. If she’s unwilling to meet you halfway, then it may be time to ask yourself if holding on is worth the constant emotional struggle.

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DISCLAIMER: The content of this post by the expert is the personal view of the rediffGURU. Investment in securities market are subject to market risks. Read all the related document carefully before investing. The securities quoted are for illustration only and are not recommendatory. Users are advised to pursue the information provided by the rediffGURU only as a source of information and as a point of reference and to rely on their own judgement when making a decision. RediffGURUS is an intermediary as per India's Information Technology Act.

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