hi ma'am, so ive been dating this guy since 6 months and only the starting 5 months were the best part of this relationship. he used to litrally be obbssesed with me and talk to me all the time. but after he joined work, hes been working for 18 hours and is not able to make time for me. and we used to talk daily on calls at 11pm but now he barely even makes time for me, im not saying he doesnt call me at all but at times he has work. but he says hes so done with my rigid behaviour of must calls at 11pm. ma'am i can't sleep without litsening to his voice but he seems to be not bothered. and now our relationship is all abt fights. whatveer i try to ecplain he thinks im starting an argument and he gets pisst off. what can i do? pls help ma'am
Ans: It sounds like you're feeling really frustrated and disconnected in your relationship, especially after the shift in his behavior since he started working long hours. It's understandable that you miss the closeness and consistency that you had during the first few months, but it seems like his work demands are now taking up a lot of his time and energy.
The first step is recognizing that his workload is something that's affecting his availability, and while it’s natural to want that same attention from him, relationships often go through phases where things need to adjust. He’s likely feeling overwhelmed with the pressure of balancing work and the relationship, and the 11 pm calls may feel like an added stress for him, even though it’s something that helps you feel close.
To move forward, try approaching the conversation differently. Instead of expressing frustration about the calls or time spent together, share how you're feeling in a calm and non-accusatory way. Let him know that you miss the connection and understand that work is demanding, but that you’re hoping to find a balance that works for both of you. It might help to find a compromise—maybe scheduling calls when he's less tired or having shorter, more spontaneous check-ins during the day.
Also, try to focus on the quality of your conversations rather than the frequency. If you're always arguing or frustrated, it adds stress to both of you, and he may start feeling like he can’t meet your expectations. Finding a middle ground where both of your needs are respected will help ease the tension. Ultimately, if he feels supported, he's more likely to be open to reconnecting with you emotionally.
Give each other space to adjust to these new routines, and work on building trust and communication. It may also help to engage in activities that make you feel secure outside of the relationship, so that you're not relying solely on those calls for comfort.