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Dr Aarti Bakshi | Answer |Ask -Follow

Child and Parenting Counsellor - Answered on Aug 04, 2023

Dr Aarti Bakshi is a psychologist licensed by the Rehabilitation Council of India.
A school counsellor, she has worked for 15 years with young adults.
She has two PhD degrees -- developmental psychology from Global Institute of Healthcare Management and clinical psychology from Singhania University.
She is on the CBSE panel for counsellors and special educators. She collaborates with SAAR Education to help children develop life skills.
She has authored SEL (social emotional learning) journals for Grades 1-8.... more

Question by Asif on Jul 02, 2023Hindi

Health

Hello, My son is 13 years old...He is very shy in nature.... He has very few friends...He doesnt wants to go outside and interact with other kids...He likes to be at home only.... I am a bit worried about him ...how to overcome him from this ???

Ans: 1. Try going out as afamily, where families have similar age children.
2. Enrol him for an activity/sports class, that he is interested in, around your home.
3. Try staybacks in school- which are after school activities.
As a family have family nights and evening, hearing music together, with everyone's choices, dance together, cook together, tell each other what you like about each other. communication starting at home helps a teen communicate outside.

DISCLAIMER: The answer provided by rediffGURUS is for informational and general awareness purposes only. It is not a substitute for professional medical diagnosis or treatment.

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Anu Krishna |1424 Answers |Ask -Follow

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on May 22, 2023

Question by Vihaan - May 21, 2023Hindi

Relationship

Hi my son is 17 years old, I don't find him going and talking with people someone needs to start the discussion, I am afraid he will become socially disconnected. How do I solve the problem?

Ans: Dear Vihaan,
A few of us love being social butterflies and a few of us love the company of ourselves. I am not about to box anyone as an introvert of extrovert as we can switch from one to the other according to varying situations.

You son maybe one of those people whose social battery drains being around people, He perhaps doesn't need to socialize in order to feel good or happy. And you perhaps worry either because you see his peers being all out there or maybe because you are a very outgoing person.

As long as he is happy and is focused in academics and does not display behaviour that is detrimental to his mind and body, just let him be. There's a lifetime to be in social circles and he will blend in when he feels necessary, And if you must want to help, so that he 'socially connects', you can facilitate visits to places of his interest. No need for anyone to start a discussion for him as that will make him feel socially awkward and he will detest being with people altogether. I understand your concern, but there isn't anything to worry about unless he withdraws completely or isolates himself. It's all good and natural...

All the best!

Aruna Agarwal |79 Answers |Ask -Follow

Child and Parenting Counsellor - Answered on Jul 10, 2023

Question by Ashutosh - Jun 26, 2023Hindi

Health

My grandson, 7 years , has a fear syndrome in his mind afraid of everything and seems to be introvert. Relation between his parents is not cordial. He sort of hates his father and does not want him around. He will remain aloof from the crowd while playing football, catch hold of my hand and his grandmothers hand while sleeping. He behaves as a matured person and does not seem to be of his age. He is excellent in studies and quite expert in Power-point presentation and video editing which he learnt by himself but does not have interest in outward activities. I am concerned for him and want to know how can he get rid od his fears and can mix with his friends.

Ans: It looks like social anxiety to me. It needs a detailed analysis. To start with you can expose him to different set of children of his age,in the beginning it can be small group of one or two people and gradually to bigger groups. Let him learn the basic rules of games and turn taking activities too. Let him have more his choice of activities where he can be involved and have fun with peers.

Dr Ashish Sehgal |116 Answers |Ask -Follow

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Dec 12, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Sep 05, 2024Hindi

Relationship

Dear Dr Ashish, How do I get my 14 year old teenage son to talk to me? He talks less, is either angry or grumpy and rarely discusses anything at home with anyone. Is this behaviour normal? He used to be a talkative child when he was younger. How can I help?

Ans: Let me reassure you that you’re not alone in facing this challenge, and what you describe is quite common in teenagers. The teenage years are a time of immense internal transformation. It's as if your son is building a new version of himself, one brick at a time, and sometimes, in that process, he may feel the need to pull away to figure things out.

You see, as children grow, their world expands. Their focus shifts from being family-centered to exploring who they are in the larger world. This doesn't mean he cares any less about you; it simply means he’s working on something deep within himself—maybe even trying to understand emotions and situations he doesn’t yet have the words for.

Now, instead of trying to make him talk, which might feel like pressure to him, consider this: how can you create an environment where he wants to open up? Imagine if, instead of asking direct questions or expressing concern, you shared a small, non-threatening piece of your world. Maybe a funny story about your day or a memory of when you were his age. Sometimes, starting with something light gives him permission to engage without feeling interrogated.

Another way to open doors is through shared experiences. Teenagers often speak more freely when they're not face-to-face. Maybe a walk or a ride, cooking a meal together, or even playing a video game could become moments where he feels comfortable talking.

And when he does speak, no matter how small the opening, meet him with curiosity, not judgment. If he shares something, reflect it back to him in a way that says, "I hear you, and I value what you're saying." For example, if he mentions feeling frustrated, you could say, "It sounds like something’s been tough for you lately," rather than jumping to advice.

Finally, remind yourself—and him—this is a phase, not a permanent state. He is still that talkative child deep inside, but right now, he's learning to balance his need for independence with the safety of your love. Your steady presence, even when he seems distant, will be his anchor.

You’re already asking the right question, and that shows how much you care. Trust the process, and trust your connection. It’s still there, even in the quiet moments.

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Tax Expert - Answered on Jan 03, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Dec 20, 2024Hindi

Money

I am a freelancer based in India and earn through Upwork. Recently, the Income Tax Department has requested individuals with foreign income to refile their income tax returns. I already pay TDS and GST on my earnings and am trying to understand why refiling is necessary. I have already filed my returns and even received a tax refund. Any idea regarding this?

Ans: Refile is required if you are resident, you have not shown foreign income or foreign assets in original return filed.

Radheshyam Zanwar |1120 Answers |Ask -Follow

MHT-CET, IIT-JEE, NEET-UG Expert - Answered on Jan 03, 2025

Question by Yug - Jan 02, 2025Hindi

Career

So sir if I have to go through AIQ in Maharashtra do I have to convert the telangana caste certificate to central to get into AIQ??

Ans: Hello Yug,
The reply is given to you in a follow-up question. Please copy and paste the following link to view the reply: https://gurus.rediff.com/question/qdtl/career/telangana-state-caste-certificate-sc-live-maharashtra-mbbs-college-maharashtra/5190732

If satisfied, please like and follow me.
If dissatisfied with the reply, please ask again without hesitation.
Thanks.

Radheshyam

Anu Krishna |1424 Answers |Ask -Follow

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Jan 03, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Jan 02, 2025Hindi

Relationship

Hi Sir/Ma'am, I am here to know if there is a problem with my mind or body as I am having a strong sense of demotivation to work towards the upcoming exams. I had taken a 3 months study leave from my work for the upcoming exams to be held in January . The first month was excellent but the next was not good and last month was pathetic. For the past 2 months I have been trying to work hard sincerely but failed. I sat at the study table, but could not achieve my targets. I wrote the targets , but still failed to complete them. I tried watching self help videos and read self help books but nothing is helping me. Today, it is like my brain signals not to work towards any of my targets. I am a CA aspirant and I tried all these ways but nothing worked for me. My exams are in 9 days and my family is not ready to give me any more chances because this is my 7th attempt. Even if I talk about this problem with my family, they become extremely negative and say harsh words about my future. Since I do not have family or friends to talk about it , could you please provide me sincere help in this ?

Ans: Dear Anonymous,
Kindly work with someone who can get you out of this mindset and into a mindset that is not motivating but also inspiring. Right now what you face is lack of inspiration which is understandable given the many attempts. But you are aware that some professional exams are like this; so persevere...
If it makes sense, take a break from it all...Breaks can refresh the mind and also help you realign yourself back to your goal. But make sure it's a short break and not something that will get you to a place of procrastinating. The break is to help you slow down the mind so that you can bring yourself back to your goal and take necessary steps to achieve it.

All the best!
Anu Krishna
Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
Drop in: www.unfear.io
Reach me: Facebook: anukrish07/ AND LinkedIn: anukrishna-joyofserving/

Anu Krishna |1424 Answers |Ask -Follow

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Jan 03, 2025

Question by Geetasri - Dec 31, 2024

Relationship

My ex is blackmailing me with someone screenshot and screen recording

Ans: Dear Geetasri,
You might want to involve the police if the situation is getting worse.

All the best!
Anu Krishna
Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
Drop in: www.unfear.io
Reach me: Facebook: anukrish07/ AND LinkedIn: anukrishna-joyofserving/

Ramalingam Kalirajan |7410 Answers |Ask -Follow

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Jan 03, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Jan 03, 2025Hindi

Money

I am 57 yrs , I have monthly income is 8.0 lakhs & want to retire at 60. I have 2.5 cr in MF and 50 lakhs in stock how much should I invest in MF & stocks

Ans: At 57, with a monthly income of Rs. 8 lakhs, you are in a strong financial position. You already have Rs. 2.5 crore in mutual funds and Rs. 50 lakhs in stocks. Retiring at 60 is achievable with proper planning. Let’s focus on enhancing your investments to secure a comfortable retirement.

Assessing Your Current Investments
Mutual Funds: Rs. 2.5 crore in mutual funds offers diversification and stability.

Stocks: Rs. 50 lakhs in stocks adds growth potential but comes with higher risk.

Retirement Target: Estimate your post-retirement expenses to calculate the required corpus. Include inflation-adjusted costs.

Recommended Mutual Fund Allocation
Increase SIP Contributions: With high income, raise your monthly SIPs in mutual funds.

Diversify Across Fund Categories: Allocate funds to large-cap, mid-cap, and hybrid funds. They balance risk and returns effectively.

Debt Mutual Funds: Add debt funds to maintain stability and liquidity in your portfolio.

Tax-Efficient Options: Choose equity-oriented hybrid funds for better post-tax returns.

Balancing Stock Investments
Reduce Exposure Gradually: Stocks can be volatile, especially closer to retirement. Shift some stock investments to mutual funds or safer options.

Invest in Quality Stocks: Retain investments in blue-chip or dividend-paying stocks for consistent returns.

Avoid Speculative Stocks: Focus on stable and established companies for reduced risk.

Tax Efficiency and Withdrawal Planning
Equity Fund Taxation: Long-term capital gains (LTCG) above Rs. 1.25 lakh are taxed at 12.5%.

Debt Fund Taxation: Gains from debt funds are taxed as per your income slab.

Plan Withdrawals Wisely: Spread withdrawals over financial years to minimise tax liability.

Building a Retirement Corpus
Target Corpus: Calculate the required retirement corpus for the next 25–30 years.

Inflation-Protected Income: Invest in funds that offer inflation-beating returns for financial security.

Emergency Fund: Maintain an emergency fund covering at least two years of expenses.

Diversification and Risk Management
Asset Allocation: Maintain a 60:40 equity-to-debt ratio initially. Gradually reduce equity exposure closer to retirement.

Periodic Reviews: Review your portfolio semi-annually and rebalance as needed.

Risk Assessment: Avoid overexposure to volatile asset classes nearing retirement.

Planning for Healthcare and Contingencies
Health Insurance: Ensure you have adequate health insurance coverage for you and your family.

Contingency Funds: Allocate a portion of your portfolio to liquid assets for emergencies.

Minimise Unnecessary Risks: Avoid risky investments that could erode your wealth.

Final Insights
You are on the right track to achieve a secure retirement. Increase mutual fund SIPs, reduce stock exposure gradually, and maintain a balanced portfolio.

Focus on building an inflation-adjusted retirement corpus while ensuring tax efficiency. Periodic reviews and disciplined investing will help you achieve your financial goals.

Your high income and existing investments are commendable. With proper planning, you can enjoy a stress-free retirement.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in
https://www.youtube.com/@HolisticInvestment

Ramalingam Kalirajan |7410 Answers |Ask -Follow

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Jan 03, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Jan 02, 2025Hindi

Money

Im 40 years old with a corpus of 2cr consisting of 50% equity funds and 50% of FDs, PPF , PF . Combined income of 2 lakh and have a 10 year old daughter.Doing SIP of 1lakh in equity funds and no loans. Is it possible to accumlate corpus of 10 cr within next 10 years ? What should be done additionally to achieve that goal?

Ans: Your existing corpus of Rs. 2 crore is a strong foundation. Splitting it equally between equity and fixed-income instruments ensures diversification. A monthly SIP of Rs. 1 lakh in equity funds is commendable, showing disciplined investing. With your current financial habits, you are well-positioned for wealth creation. However, achieving Rs. 10 crore in 10 years requires strategic adjustments and focused planning.

Evaluating the Rs. 10 Crore Target
To reach Rs. 10 crore in 10 years, your investments need to grow significantly. This goal demands higher annualised returns and enhanced contributions. Relying solely on current SIPs and portfolio returns may not suffice. Let’s identify steps to bridge the gap.

Optimising Your Equity Allocation
Increase SIP Contributions: With a combined income of Rs. 2 lakh and no loans, increasing SIPs is feasible. Incrementally raise your monthly SIP by Rs. 50,000 or more.

Choose Growth-Oriented Funds: Focus on funds with a proven track record in midcap and small-cap segments. These categories have the potential for higher returns over a 10-year horizon.

Monitor Fund Performance: Periodically review your equity funds. Replace underperforming schemes with actively managed funds showing consistent returns.

Leveraging Fixed-Income Investments
Enhance PF Contributions: If your PF contributions can increase through voluntary contributions, it will ensure stability while adding to long-term growth.

Review FDs: Fixed Deposits provide safety but may not match inflation-adjusted growth. Shift a portion to debt mutual funds for tax-efficient returns.

Continue PPF Investments: PPF is an excellent tax-free instrument. Ensure you maximise the Rs. 1.5 lakh annual limit.

Balancing Tax Efficiency
Equity Fund Taxation: Long-term capital gains (LTCG) above Rs. 1.25 lakh are taxed at 12.5%. Plan withdrawals to minimise this tax impact.

Debt Fund Taxation: Gains from debt mutual funds are taxed as per your income tax slab. Select funds with low turnover to optimise post-tax returns.

Tax-Saving Opportunities: Invest in ELSS funds if you haven't exhausted the Rs. 1.5 lakh Section 80C limit.

Strategic Investment Adjustments
Goal-Linked Investments: Allocate investments specifically for this goal. Separate it from your child’s education or other financial goals.

Increase Equity Proportion: Consider a higher equity allocation, such as 70% equity and 30% fixed income. Equity delivers better inflation-adjusted returns over the long term.

Reinvest Returns: Do not withdraw returns. Reinvest them to compound the growth of your corpus.

Regular Reviews and Adjustments
Annual Financial Reviews: Assess progress toward your goal annually. Adjust contributions or allocations as needed.

Stay Updated: Keep track of changes in mutual fund performance, market trends, and tax regulations.

Seek Expertise: Engage with a Certified Financial Planner to tailor your strategy further.

Diversification and Risk Management
Balanced Portfolio: Ensure your portfolio is diversified across sectors and asset classes.

Emergency Fund: Maintain a separate emergency fund equal to six months’ expenses.

Risk Mitigation: Avoid overconcentration in a single asset class or fund category.

Child’s Education Planning
While focusing on Rs. 10 crore, don’t overlook your daughter’s education. Set aside a portion of your investments to meet this future expense.

Final Insights
Achieving Rs. 10 crore in 10 years is ambitious but achievable. With increased SIPs, strategic fund selection, and disciplined investing, you can reach your goal.

Reassess your portfolio annually and make necessary adjustments. Prioritise equity for higher returns and tax efficiency. Maintain focus and avoid unnecessary withdrawals.

Your financial habits and discipline are commendable. With focused efforts, you can build a significant corpus and secure your family’s future.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in
https://www.youtube.com/@HolisticInvestment

Samraat Jadhav |2135 Answers |Ask -Follow

Stock Market Expert - Answered on Jan 03, 2025

Question by VEDANTAM - Jan 02, 2025Hindi

Money

Happiest Mind Technologies has performed well for a god time. Now it's on terrible decline. Is the time up for now, for it?

Anu Krishna |1424 Answers |Ask -Follow

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Jan 02, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Jan 01, 2025

Relationship

Hello ma'am, Meri age 30 sal ki hai aur meri wife 26 saal ki hai 3 saal pehle meri shadi hui aur humara ek 2 saal ka beta bhi hai, Bachcha hone ke baad me meri wife sex se bilkul dur chali gayi hai, Mahine dedh mahine me ek baar badi hi mushkil se sex kar pate hai, Aur us doran bhi jo sex karte time dono partners me feelings hoti hai, wo feelings us me aati hi nahi hai, Usko bas ye ek kaam lagta hai ke bas ho gaya ab tum mujhse dur ho jao, Aur ab ek nayi hi sharat rakh di hai unhone mere samne ghar ki hi koi baat hai jo wo sab janti hai uske bare me aur mujhse bolti hai ke wo wali baat tum apne muh se mujhe btao, kehti hai ke mujhe pta hai us baat per tumhara muh kabhi bhi nahi khulega , To ab tum mujhse dur hi raho. Main bohot jyada stress me chla Gaya hun. Ek hi bed per Sona per main unko touch bhi nahi kar sakta hu, touch karte hi mere haath ko dur fenk dete hai. Please suggest me?

Ans: Dear Anonymous,
Yeh kaunsi baat hai joh woh jaanti hai ke aap jaante ho par aap iske baare mein muh nahin kholenge? Yeh baat toh bilkul mere palle nahin pad rahi!
Aur rahi baat sex ki...bahut baar bacche ke aane ke baad ek Maa bacche ki parvarish mein itna vyast ho jaati hain ki thakaan se sex nahin kar paati ya karna nahin chati...ghar ke baaki kaamon mein bhi uljahkar thakaawat mehsoos karti hongi.
Unka haat bataakar kuch bojh halka ho jaayega unka toh shaayad woh aapki taraf dhyaan bhi de paayegi. Shaadi ke shuruwaat ke dinon ko waapas le aane ke piye aap dono ko aur isse phir se ek romance ka mahaul banega. Koshish kijiye...

All the best!
Anu Krishna
Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
Drop in: www.unfear.io
Reach me: Facebook: anukrish07/ AND LinkedIn: anukrishna-joyofserving/

Anu Krishna |1424 Answers |Ask -Follow

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Jan 02, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Dec 31, 2024Hindi

Relationship

Hello Coach Anu, I’ve been feeling really overwhelmed these days. I’m 32, working in a fast-paced tech job, and balancing a lot of responsibilities at home as well. The problem is, I find it so hard to focus. I keep thinking about everything — work deadlines, family matters, personal goals — and end up doing nothing properly. I’ve tried using to-do lists, setting reminders, but my mind keeps wandering. And before I know it, hours have passed and I’ve barely ticked off any tasks. Just last week, I had a big presentation at work, and I totally froze in the middle of it. It was embarrassing, and now I’m feeling like I’m stuck in a cycle of stress and procrastination. I’m really tired of feeling like this. I really need to get my act together, but I don’t know where to start.

Ans: Dear Anonymous,
You are possibly burned out. Late working hours, lack of proper sleep and nutrition and constant chasing of deadlines with minimal time for self-care can leave you feeling purposeless. And you will have a tendency to put off things to a later date or never feel like doing them.
Take a break, re-evaluate your priorities and set goals that are inspiring. Any goal that punctures your well-being is never worth it. Go slow, enjoy what you choose to do by being in the present moment. So, re-evaluate...

All the best!
Anu Krishna
Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
Drop in: www.unfear.io
Reach me: Facebook: anukrish07/ AND LinkedIn: anukrishna-joyofserving/

Anu Krishna |1424 Answers |Ask -Follow

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Jan 02, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Dec 31, 2024Hindi

Relationship

after 11 years of courtship i married my boyfriend with parents permission after convincing them .We have been married for 1 year now and in this one year i saw many changes in him.he gives importance to his mother takes decisons without discussing with me but with his mother.To please his mother he talks about me like she dint do that particular thing.Now he went abroad for job and i am pregnant .I left my job and shifted to my parent's place.He doesnt even talk to me or message me.I only have to message him.If i tel any of my pregnancy complaints he either tells his mother or says i am overthinking.Now he said if I dont follow his house rule i better stay in my parents place only .I am so upset and devastated.What should I do

Ans: Dear Anonymous,
What according to you have caused these changes in him and that too after 11 years of courtship? Did any instance cause him to act differently than before? And were there no indications of him acting different during your courtship days?
Why I ask this is that it is difficult for anyone to pretend for 11 long years! He would have displayed his current behavior sometime in the past and maybe you simply decided to overlook it?
Courtship days and marriage days are vastly different and what seemed okay during the courtship time becomes an issue after marriage. If this is not the case, it's quite possible that some incident which was seemingly small became a huge issue in his head causing him to act different?
Now, why am I going into this so much is because most often we overlook reasons that can be worked on. So, do think hard on this...
It is also time to involve your parents who can talk to his mother and figure out why her son is acting all weird. Surely, your mother-in-law needs to know that her interference the way it is, is going to destroy her son's marriage. So, get your parents to talk to her. And in the meantime, as hard as it may seem, do take care of your health for yourself and your baby.

All the best!
Anu Krishna
Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
Drop in: www.unfear.io
Reach me: Facebook: anukrish07/ AND LinkedIn: anukrishna-joyofserving/

See more questions »

DISCLAIMER: The content of this post by the expert is the personal view of the rediffGURU. Investment in securities market are subject to market risks. Read all the related document carefully before investing. The securities quoted are for illustration only and are not recommendatory. Users are advised to pursue the information provided by the rediffGURU only as a source of information and as a point of reference and to rely on their own judgement when making a decision. RediffGURUS is an intermediary as per India's Information Technology Act.

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