Dear Ravi , I am 40 year old guy married with 2 kids leading quite a happily married life. I did love marriage 14 years back and till date both of us have similar respect for each other. Since last 1 year I have fallen in love with my colleague and both of us love and respect each other very much and very difficult for both of us to leave each other. My wife knows about my relationship and she respects my feelings and says that Love is natural and can happen. Inspite of this we lead same bonding, love, respect, physical relationship i.e. everything for a normal husband wife. My question is there any any way by which I can make my new love a part of my family with due respect as a second wife, although I know being a Hindu the same is not possible, can you help me with your valuable advice. Is there any way out so that we all can live together. Regards, Anonynous.

Ans: Dear Anonymous,
The Hindu Marriage Act, 1955, prohibits polygamy. The act specifies that at the time of the second marriage, none of the parties should be legally married, and both parties must end their previous marriage to remarry.

Having understood this from a legal standpoint, your option of marrying the other person will emerge only if you opt for divorce from your wife. If that is not something that you can and want to do whatever the reason, then you might consider by your own will to continue the way you are now.
But without sounding judgemental here, I do want to point you towards the emotional distress for you leading two lives in parallel. Also, do consider that this will also make both both women insecure and them wanting their position with you fortified putting you under scrutiny. I am simply impressing upon you the emotional struggle that each of you will undergo in these circumstances; especially you!

The presence of children must also be considered as any move that you make in the current context will impact them favourably or unfavourably.
You are the best judge of your situation. Choose wisely.

All the best!

Ans: Dear Anonymous,
There is some sort of trend of stepping out of marriage when physical needs are not met within the marriage. It's the easiest way out!
Why is it so hard to figure out what is happening when one of the partners in the marriage is not interested in intimacy?
Why doesn't the other partner try to understand, accept and work with the partner who is struggling through something?
And this goes for the husband and wife and partners within a relationship.

It isn't something written in stone that sex 'MUST' be a part of marriage BUT it certainly is a pillar to creating a stronger relationship. So, why assume and go searching for it? Then you will have all reasons to justify why you did it and how your partner is responsible for it.
Now, you are in a soup with two women vying for your time and attention. And with children involved, things only get complicated. Yes, your wife feels that it his her right to be in your life and your question is: where was she all these years? My question is: why did you stop trying all these years to put things together?

My suggestion: As much as you want to be in the other lady's life, she is clear that she does not want to settle with you. You are also clear that you don't want to separate from your wife but you want her to accept the other lady. Doesn't it seem highly impractical to you?

Before you end up hurting someone or yourself, do what's right for everyone and especially the children. They don't deserve a set of parents that is confused. Good people who come into our lives can end up becoming good friends as well.

All the best!

Ans: Dear Anonymous,

If you are asking if it's okay to be in love with someone while you are married to another woman, the answer is no. No, it isn't okay. It goes without saying. You committed to your wife because you love and respect her. Falling for another woman is not even close to okay. Hope it gives you clarity.

Best wishes.