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Ravi

Ravi Mittal  |168 Answers  |Ask -

Dating, Relationships Expert - Answered on Mar 28, 2023

Ravi Mittal is an expert on dating and relationships.
He founded QuackQuack, an online dating platform, in 2010 with just two people. Today, it has over 20 million users in India.... more
Seetha Question by Seetha on Mar 27, 2023Hindi
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Relationship

My boyfriend and I have a issue … He wants to stay away from our relationship for our welfare I mean Iam a childish girl and I understand others very less and he said I should change and he now asking to be frnds like we were coz we need not to fight nor be feel stressed about future or our parents …… And I too don’t know if I truly love him or not ? What should I do ? Please kindly help me !!!!

Ans: Dear Seetha,

If your partner does not want to be with you, there's no point in forcing the relationship. You yourself seem to think you are still childish; maybe take some time to work on yourself before you get involved romantically. Relationships seem all fun and games, but in reality, it requires a lot of work. You don't sound ready for it, especially when you are not even sure if you truly love him.

Whether you want to remain friends with your current partner is up to you, but staying in the relationship seems like a bad idea. The best course of action would be to part ways before things turn ugly and you resent each other.

Best Wishes!

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Anu

Anu Krishna  |794 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Mar 28, 2023

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Hello Mam ! Mam I don’t know if I have right to ask you this cause Iam still 17 ! Mam Iam Seetha , Iam in Inter 2 ne year now and yes it is yet to complete in two days and I am preparing for Neet 2023 and Yes I am least confident about my first attempt so I’ll be preparing for Neet 2024 to ! There is a boy whom I know him since 5th class but we were close to each other from 9th class ….. but like a good friend and 4 months ago he proposed me and I slowly fell in love with him !!! He is a good guy he respects me a lot and he respects everyone …from past one month we were very close and we met several times ….. He is a guy who respects my time and his time he don’t have obsession like I have for him ….I always force him to stay or talk big longer and he felt like I won’t respect his time and Iam a person whiny understand his efforts he puts for us and he said 5 days ago that we should be away for a year so that concentrate on ourself and he said to that I should change to a mature person …and he blocked me everywhere but I refused but I done it I mean neither we talked or chatted with each other for 5 days but yesterday I called him from other number and he know that and unblocked me so we spoke to each other ! He said that we should be apart for our self but then again he said we should have Naeem friends ! I asked him that be true and if you want to ask for a break up you can buy he said no I want you and I don’t want to leave you … and yeah mam he never tried to be physical with me only I was ! But I don’t know what I should do now ? He said this is test for us that will our love be the same for one year ? Now you please say me mam that what should be done ? Should I have to stay away for one year or should I break up with him since he said we should have been frnds only ! What should I do mam ? Kindly please reply me as fast as you could mam !!! 😕
Ans: Dear Seetha,
Yes, please stay away from this boy.
He has no clarity about what he wants or what he is doing. He wants you around and then doesn't and then again on his terms. Both of you need to become emotionally mature to handle a relationship.

Like he said: Give yourselves that time and space to focus on studies first. If you add all these confusions, your studies will suffer and you will end up feeling frustrated.
Put down a goal list with a timeline for your forthcoming exams and keep a check at the end of the day as to how much you have accomplished. This is the age for focusing on academics as well besides relationships. Right now, what seems most useful for you is your focus on academics and having a strong friends circle. This will not only distract you but also allow you to see that there is a lot of life outside of this boy that you are stuck on...So, move on, take a break and enjoy life and study hard!

Best wishes for a bright future!
(more)
Shalini

Shalini Singh  |54 Answers  |Ask -

Dating Coach - Answered on Apr 04, 2023

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Hello Mam ! Mam I don’t know if I have right to ask you this cause Iam still 17 ! Mam Iam Seetha ..I have completed my inter 2nd year and I am preparing for Neet 2023 and Yes I am least confident about my first attempt so I’ll be preparing for Neet 2024 to ! There is a boy whom I know him since 5th class but we were close to each other from 9th class ….. but like a good friend and 4 months ago he proposed me and I slowly fell in love with him !!! He is a good guy he respects me a lot and he respects everyone …from past one month we were very close and we met several times ….. He is a guy who respects my time and his time he don’t have obsession like I have for him ….I always force him to stay or talk bit longer and he felt like I won’t respect his time and Said Iam a person who won’t understand his efforts he puts for us and he said 10 days ago that we should be away for a year so that concentrate on ourself and he said to that I should change to a mature person …and he blocked me everywhere but I refused but I done it I mean neither we talked or chatted with each other for 5 days but after few days I called him from other number and he know that and unblocked me so we spoke to each other ! He said that we should be apart for our self but then again he said we should have been friends only but whatever happened is happened now we can’t do anything he said ! I asked him that be true and if you want to ask for a break up you can buy he said no I want you and I don’t want to leave you … and yeah mam he never tried to be physical with me …only I was and for this he sayid that I never understand him and etc etc and said that I just loved him physically not truely and that broke my heart ! But I don’t know what I should do now ? He said this is test for us that will our love be the same for one year ? But then again few days ago We talked to each other and that to I started first …yesterday as a friend we were talking and he said he wrote a poem and I asked for whom u wrote this he said For my ex …he said that if she comes again then he will accept and I was really confused 😐…And we had a huge fight he felt bad and I too but lastly I said sorry and today he asked for a break up and I said I won’t repeat my behaviour gain and I asked for last chance so that I could change from childish behaviour to a mature girl as he likes … Now you please say me mam that what should be done ? Should I have to stay away from him temporarily until I get changed to a better person as he wants or should I break up with him since he said we should have been frnds only ! What should I do mam ? Kindly please reply me as fast as you could mam !!! 😕
Ans: Its important you focus on 2 things for now - (1) your self esteem and your confidence & (2) your education and career. Once you are financially independent is when you can think of a serious relationship - all the best.
(more)
Love Guru

Love Guru   |187 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert - Answered on Apr 04, 2023

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Hello Mam ! Mam I don’t know if I have right to ask you this cause Iam still 17 ! Mam Iam Seetha ..I have completed my inter 2nd year and I am preparing for Neet 2023 and Yes I am least confident about my first attempt so I’ll be preparing for Neet 2024 to ! There is a boy whom I know him since 5th class but we were close to each other from 9th class ….. but like a good friend and 4 months ago he proposed me and I slowly fell in love with him !!! He is a good guy he respects me a lot and he respects everyone …from past one month we were very close and we met several times and mam Highlighting this point —-mam we had passionate romance twice but not that intensely and now I feel regret of doing so if he leaves me ….. He is a guy who respects my time and his time he don’t have obsession like I have for him ….I always force him to stay or talk bit longer and he felt like I won’t respect his time and Said Iam a person who won’t understand his efforts he puts for us and he said 10 days ago that we should be away for a year so that concentrate on ourself and he said to that I should change to a mature person …and he blocked me everywhere but I refused but I done it I mean neither we talked or chatted with each other for 5 days but after few days I called him from other number and he know that and unblocked me so we spoke to each other ! He said that we should be apart for our self but then again he said we should have been friends only but whatever happened is happened now we can’t do anything he said ! I asked him that be true and if you want to ask for a break up you can buy he said no I want you and I don’t want to leave you … and yeah mam he never tried to be physical with me …only I was and for this he sayid that I never understand him and etc etc and said that I just loved him physically not truely and that broke my heart ! But I don’t know what I should do now ? He said this is test for us that will our love be the same for one year ? But then again few days ago We talked to each other and that to I started first …yesterday as a friend we were talking and he said he wrote a poem and I asked for whom u wrote this he said For my ex …he said that if she comes again then he will accept and I was really confused 😐…And we had a huge fight he felt bad and I too but lastly I said sorry and today he asked for a break up and I said I won’t repeat my behaviour gain and I asked for last chance so that I could change from childish behaviour to a mature girl as he likes … Now you please say me mam that what should be done ? Should I have to stay away from him temporarily until I get changed to a better person as he wants or should I break up with him since he said we should have been frnds only ! What should I do mam ? Kindly please reply me as fast as you could mam !!! 😕
Ans: Seetha, he proposed to you. Then you got physical with him, then he conveniently said you’re better off as friends and blocked you! And then came up with this one year test nonsense! He’s taking you for a ride, and you’re falling for it; don’t be so stupid. I understand that you’re young, but you haven’t done anything wrong and there is no need to feel guilty about anything that has happened. What is important, however, is that you understand this boy is not quite as wonderful as you think he is! He’s taken advantage of you and now he’s trying to worm his way out of it. Cut him off completely, he’s no good. Focus on your studies and if you meet someone else, no harm in exploring a relationship. But this worm doesn’t deserve a minute of your time or attention.
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Kanchan

Kanchan Rai  |159 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Dec 28, 2023

Asked by Anonymous - Dec 27, 2023Hindi
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Hi I am working in an compnay since 4 yrs i had and friendship with my senior and he ia married but staying alone. His family was at native place. We both r maaried and we know about we had family but now we are in relationships since 3 years. As his family was not here i helped him in every manner in covid situtation. We know pur priority is family first. But since his family is here from one year last. He has stopped chatting talking to me. Only we are mostly having one side fight. He is now feeling irritation in talking to me normally also. During my job i m doing better than also everytime he feels irritated. I dont know what to do. Now he is saying he dont have time. He dont want to leave me. But stopped everything's. Only when he needs help he speaks to me or replies to message. I dont want to leave my job nor complaint to someone. What shoul i do dont understand. I have ensured him that i dont want him also to leave his family. Nor i want to leavemy family. I m confused what to do. I have done everything for him and now he has forgot evething. He says he love me he dont want to leave me. But at this situtation what should i do.
Ans: Hello Ms.
It's important to approach this with sensitivity and consideration for everyone involved. Understand that his family is a significant part of his life, and he may need time to adjust to the changes. Respect his commitments and responsibilities towards his family. Think about the long-term implications of the relationship. Consider whether it's sustainable in the current circumstances and whether it aligns with your personal values and priorities. Take some time to reflect on your own feelings and the dynamics of your relationship. Consider whether this situation is bringing you happiness and fulfillment, or if it's causing you distress. Establish clear boundaries in your relationship to ensure that both of you are comfortable and that these boundaries are respected. If he is feeling overwhelmed or stressed with the recent changes in his family situation, it might be helpful to give him some space. Encourage open communication make sure you both are on the same page about the nature of your relationship and the level of communication you both desire.Be prepared for the possibility that the relationship may need to change or come to an end. Reflect on your own priorities and boundaries. Ensure that your relationship doesn't negatively impact your personal and professional life. It's essential to maintain a healthy balance and focus on your own well-being. While this can be difficult, it's important to prioritize your own well-being and the well-being of everyone involved.
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I am student in 1st year of be cse(ai). I belong to tier3 college. I am confused between either i do preperation for internship or i do preparation for masters. Please advise me or suggest me some tips for both.
Ans: Thank you for contacting me. Deciding between pursuing an internship and preparing for a master's degree depends on your individual goals, career aspirations, and current circumstances. An internship provides hands-on experience in a professional setting, allowing you to apply theoretical knowledge to real-world problems, whereas, getting a master’s degree from a top college can open up new career opportunities, increase your earning potential, and position you for leadership roles in the future.

Internships allow you to explore different industries, roles, and career paths, helping you clarify your career interests, whereas, getting a master's degree can enhance your professional qualifications, increase your marketability, and improve your prospects for career advancement.

Please remember, regardless of whether you choose internships or further studies, try to focus on building your technical skills, particularly in areas relevant to your field of study. Take advantage of opportunities to learn programming languages, algorithms, machine learning, and other AI-related topics through coursework, online tutorials, workshops, and projects.

I would recommend you manage both. Consider factors such as your career aspirations, academic interests, financial situation, and time frame, and choose the option that aligns best with your long-term objectives. If you have any specific questions or need further advice, feel free to ask me on Rediff Gurus.
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Archana

Archana Deshpande  |17 Answers  |Ask -

Image Coach and Soft Skills Trainer - Answered on Apr 18, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Apr 05, 2024Hindi
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Hi , I wish to “Write in English” as a Profession , as that happens to be one of my core competency . It gives me a lot of soulful satisfaction & propels me to continue writing further . My Drafting & command over English Writing has been my primary strength right from my schooling days but I committed the mistake of not choosing it as a career . Hence , Post doing my B.E. & M.B.A. , I worked in decent Corporates for 16 Years but went on to quit the last Job in 2021 as I felt stagnant & monotonous doing what I was into . I was immensely appreciated for my e-mail drafts & Write-ups in all the Organisations I worked in but that had no weightage in my KRA . I did pretty well in my professional career with the exception of the last couple of months wherein I felt a bit lost & as a result , was not enjoying my work . I am into my 44th Year & now convinced to follow my dream professionally ( i.e Writing & penning down what comes my way) but am somewhat clueless how to move ahead . I am not there for the in-vogue content writing stuffs , online blogs etc. but want to write on something substantial or small interesting / soothing write-ups that interests a major chunk of the readers . Kindly help me with all the specific / possible options wherein I can directly target , that would probably yield me results ASAP . Please give detailed info with the probable sources to explore-in , as generic one-liners may not help , as I am blank on whom to approach . Looking forward to your much value added counselling & the probable avenues that may break the ice for me . Thanks & Regards !!! Pls. Keep up with the Good-Work you guys are doing with this Q&A Consultancy Guided Section .
Ans: HI!!
The way you have stated your needs so clearly shows that you have good writing skills, so no doubts about your writing skills.

In the message you mentioned that you quit your job in 2021 and yet you say you are not enjoying work since the last couple of months. A little confusion there for me, I am assuming you are still working. You also mention that you did pretty well professionally, this shows a mind that can work well even when it not totally into the work heart and soul. Try to find positive reasons around your work.
You are 44 you said, at this age we all are at loggerheads with what we studied, what we are doing for a living and what we are passionate about! I have been there..

I need to say a little about myself in order to answer your question. I am an Engineer too, today I am Image Consultant and a Soft Skills Trainer. I used to work with one of the top telecom companies, my Mentor there used to say an Engineer can do anything and me and you are proving that. You are a BE, MBA and you have exceptional writing skills.

As a public speaking skills coach I used to write speeches for clients and help them deliver with panache. One of my long standing clients said no to the classes after I increased the fees. Where did she get her strength from to say no?....AI and Chatgpt, even though she always said it doesn't have the AD (Archana Deshpande) effect!! Why I am mentioning such a personal incident is to help you understand the scenario today.
You want to write good stuff and earn money too, rt? You don't want that typical content writer kind of jobs... so what I suggest is that since a BE MBA is a deadly combo and you are an intelligent man, pls continue to use these to earn money. I want you to google, "platforms for writers to make money" and check all your options, for sometime write and publish on various platforms, send it to various newspapers, see how people respond to you. I know your joy comes from writing so go for it on a day to day basis, schedule it everyday. When you continue to do tasks that bring you joy, your doing all the things that are compulsory becomes easy( like going to office). Test the waters before you quit your well paying job( and yourself mentioned you are doing pretty well). Plan to write a book on a subject that comes easily to you or a book of short stories around your experiences. Today Mrs Sudha Murthy is a celebrated writer, look at her journey as writer, it didn't happen overnight. There is no ASAP here. You want to become a writer professionally, take it slow, start writing, start publishing you work, gauge the readers reaction, keep writing, keep reinventing, it's a creative process, let it flow through you without the stress of earning money through it.... it's joy for you to write, let it remain so!! Create a beautiful space at home to allow the creative juices to flow, continue to write everyday. Apart form writing, check what else brings you joy, on a day to day basis consciously spend time doing things that bring you joy. Enthusiasm/energy for life comes from your joy list. I am listing so many things because you mentioned you are not enjoying your job. I want you to arrive at a place where you enjoy your job( it pays your bills and takes care of your family) and continue to work on stuff you are passionate about. It can be done by living a little consciously and joyously, a little shift in the mindset can do wonders!!
All the very best!!
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