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Anu

Anu Krishna  |1645 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on May 01, 2024

Anu Krishna is a mind coach and relationship expert.
The co-founder of Unfear Changemakers LLP, she has received her neuro linguistic programming training from National Federation of NeuroLinguistic Programming, USA, and her energy work specialisation from the Institute for Inner Studies, Manila.
She is an executive member of the Indian Association of Adolescent Health.... more
Asked by Anonymous - Apr 30, 2024Hindi
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Relationship

I am a single working mother 52 years of age.My son is 27 years has completed his MBA but currently sitting idle at home.He is having a relationship with the maid and when I objected to it he beat me mercilessly.How do I handle the situation as he wants to marry her.He is living off my money.

Ans: Dear Anonymous,
Would you think it will be cruel if I suggested that you throw him out?.
He has to be taught a lesson and the one who resorts to physical abuse for being corrected by his own mother needs a bit of harsh treatment. It's sad that this is your son treating you this way but since he is dependent on you for money, the day you stop giving him money and ask him to leave, you will be doing not just yourself but your son a huge favor.
Parents from the bird and animal kingdom do just that to enable their young ones to fend for themselves as they will not be around them forever.
Instead of giving your son the message that you will take care of his needs, kindly enable him to take care of himself and then he can do what he wishes to...Remember, that you still have the upper hand as you are making the money!

All the best!

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Anu

Anu Krishna  |1645 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Oct 14, 2021

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Relationship
Hi...I feel totally stuck in life...not only me my husband too feel helpless. We both don’t know what to do in such situation. The problem is we have a son who is 22 yrs old, doesn’t want to work; wants to stay at home on pretext of preparing for any exam. He is not even studying at home. We can clearly see that but he refuses to go out for work whether at his own shop or for a job. We have given him enough time to stay at home for studies but every year there is different exam for which he wants to prepare. He doesn’t study sincerely at home. At least 5-6 years have passed. He’s not even attending his regular college for studies. All he wants is to stay at home. He refuses to step out from his comfort zone and has become too aggressive and abusive. Please guide us what we can do to motivate him to work. Thank you.
Ans: Dear KG, why would you keep indulging his whims?

The message to him from you as parents is loud and clear: Keep procrastinating by enrolling for new courses and then be in the comfort of home while you do this, and we will be absolutely okay with it.

When nothing else works, at times you need to take some drastic steps. Rewind to the time that you were raised by your parents… how much of leeway did you have? Did you get the long rope everytime?

There were rules, there were expectations to be fulfilled, there were needs to be met by you and the consequences of not adhering was not very pleasing.

Parents in this day raise entitled children who simply think that ‘anything goes’ with their parents.

It’s time you took the reins back from him; be stern and loving at the same time. He better realize that this time you mean business! No more entitlements…

You are helpless today because of what you were afraid to set down as rules…

Nothing is lost; so lean in and be the parents that he needs the most now to set his mind rolling in the right direction for him. Enable him to be responsible for his own actions and also evolve his own set of goals and achieve them.

A good Peak Performance Coach can absolutely do wonders for your son in terms of direction, goal setting and stepping up. Kindly look this up soon.

And as far as what you can do as parents is, help him build himself and if he falls, let him…pick him up lovingly BUT never step in to solve issues for him. Enable him…

Best wishes as always!

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Anu

Anu Krishna  |1645 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Feb 05, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Jan 31, 2025
Relationship
I am 52, mother of a daughter and son. Daughter is married and has two kids. My son is only 23. He is in love with a Bengali woman who is 12 years elder to him. I have met her briefly when my son invited her to a family event. He was laughing and cuddling up to her in front of all our guests much to our embarassment. I am a modern woman who has no qualms about anyone expressing his/her emotions. However, my concern is that this woman has begun to influence my son in a bad way. He has been partying away, splurging his savings and is now seeking my help to buy a flat in his girlfriend's name. I put my foot down and since then he has stopped talking to me. My daughter tells me that he has blocked me on his phone and social media. He has quit his job and I am worried he is not taking good care of himself. Meanwhile, the girl looks happy and has been spotted with other young guys at various places. I have not disclosed any of this to my son but I want him to know that he is being cheated on before it is too late. He is love sick and all our attempts to talk to him about this have failed. I feel helpless. What can I do to help my son recover from this mess?
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
As a mother you are only trying to protect your son. So, find what you can on this woman and yes, your son needs to be shown that he is just being played and is another one of her 'boys'. Maybe then he will come to his senses. In the meantime, as a family try to surround him with love and a lot of care. He is only experimenting outside by rebelling at home OR he could very well be searching for some validation and attention outside. Give that attention to him at home and that will help him circle right back.

All the best!
Anu Krishna
Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
Drop in: www.unfear.io
Reach me: Facebook: anukrish07/ AND LinkedIn: anukrishna-joyofserving/

..Read more

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Nayagam P

Nayagam P P  |8802 Answers  |Ask -

Career Counsellor - Answered on Jul 14, 2025

Career
My son kcet rank 12971 ( 2bg category) he is looking for top colleges for CSE Bangalore and Mysore. Kindly suggest.
Ans: Farid Sir, With a KCET rank of 12 971 in the 2BG category, your son is assured of admission to these 15 reputable AICTE-approved, NBA/NAAC-accredited institutions in Bengaluru and Mysuru whose 2024 CSE closing ranks for reserved categories exceeded your score. Each offers modern computing labs, experienced faculty, strong industry tie-ups and placement cells recording 70–85% consistency over the last three years:

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All the BEST for Admission & a Prosperous Future!

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Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |9730 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Jul 14, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Jul 14, 2025Hindi
Money
I am 46 years old..in a government job with salary in hand of 85k.I invest 9k in PFi 12.5 k each in PPFand sukanya samriddhi.My daughter is 13 at present.I pay 22k for HBLI invest 8k in SIP.will get around 10 k as rent of my flat. .I have a family floater where I pay 26k annually and an RD of 4K per month.My PPF Sukanya and PF as of now are all around 11lakhs.I will retire in 2039.I have a SBI life which is market linked priced at around 13.5 lakhs at present.It will mature in 2027.The outstanding loan amount of HBLis 7lakhs.where and how much should I invest to repay my loan as well as make investment for the future.
Ans: You have been thoughtful with your investments and savings. At this stage, clarity and right structuring are more important than increasing the number of investments.

Let us now look at your situation from a full 360-degree view and build a practical plan.

? Age, Income and Goals

– You are 46 now with 13 years left to retirement.
– Your in-hand salary is Rs 85,000 per month.
– You also receive Rs 10,000 monthly rent from your flat.
– So, your total regular cash inflow is Rs 95,000.
– Your daughter is 13 years old. Education and marriage are big upcoming expenses.
– Retirement planning is also a priority from now.

Time is limited, so every rupee must work smartly.

? Ongoing Financial Commitments

– You invest Rs 9,000 in PF (mandatory deduction).
– You invest Rs 12,500 in PPF and same in Sukanya Samriddhi.
– Your monthly EMI for home loan is Rs 22,000.
– You invest Rs 8,000 in SIPs.
– You pay Rs 26,000 per year as premium for family floater.
– You have an RD of Rs 4,000 monthly.

This shows a very good savings culture. But allocations need refinement.

? Existing Assets Summary

– PPF, PF, Sukanya total is around Rs 11 lakh.
– SBI Life (market-linked) value is Rs 13.5 lakh, maturing in 2027.
– You also own a house and earn Rs 10,000 rent from it.
– These are strong financial pillars to build upon.

You are not starting from scratch, which is a great position to be in.

? Loan Situation

– Outstanding loan is Rs 7 lakh on your home.
– EMI is Rs 22,000 per month.
– You have 13 years to close the loan before retirement.
– Ideally, loans should be cleared before retirement.

Let us see how to manage this smoothly.

? Cash Flow Evaluation

– Monthly inflow: Rs 85,000 salary + Rs 10,000 rent = Rs 95,000.
– Expenses + SIP + EMI + savings = around Rs 75,000–80,000 monthly.
– You may be left with Rs 15,000–20,000 buffer.

This buffer must be managed with purpose and not by chance.

? SBI Life Policy Assessment

– This is a market-linked insurance policy.
– Value now is Rs 13.5 lakh. Maturity is in 2027.
– These insurance cum investment plans often give lower returns.
– Better to surrender it after 2027 maturity.
– Reinvest the entire maturity amount into mutual funds.
– Do not renew or reinvest in another ULIP.

ULIPs are expensive and do not provide long-term value. Shift to mutual funds.

? Home Loan Repayment Planning

– Do not pre-close home loan in a hurry now.
– Keep regular EMI going from your salary.
– Instead, focus your extra savings to grow wealth.
– In 2027, when SBI Life matures, use Rs 2 lakh from it.
– Use that to make a part-payment of the home loan.
– This will reduce EMI burden in later years.

Target complete closure of loan by 2034 latest. Do not keep till retirement.

? Emergency Fund Requirement

– You must keep at least Rs 2 lakh in liquid form.
– This is not for investment. It is for protection.
– Use part of your RD and savings account for this.
– Stop RD if needed, and create emergency fund instead.

Without this, any sudden expense will force you into loans again.

? Child Education and Marriage Planning

– Your daughter is 13 now. Graduation in 5 years.
– Post-graduation and marriage will follow after that.
– Your Sukanya account and PPF help with this.
– But that alone is not enough. Add a goal-based SIP.
– Use regular plans of actively managed mutual funds.
– Avoid direct funds. Avoid index funds.

Regular plan SIPs with Certified Financial Planner help in review and changes.

? Why Avoid Index Funds and Direct Funds

– Index funds cannot manage downside risk.
– They fall when market falls. No protection strategy.
– They follow the index blindly without human guidance.
– Direct mutual funds look cheaper but offer no support.
– You won’t get regular review, asset allocation help or correction.
– Without expert guidance, direct funds underperform in long term.

A Certified Financial Planner with MFD support brings strategy and safety together.

? SIP Strategy Going Forward

– You already invest Rs 8,000 in SIPs.
– Continue this. Do not stop unless emergency arises.
– After 2027, increase this to Rs 12,000 or more.
– Use part of SBI Life maturity to start extra SIP.
– Use mutual funds that match your time horizon and goals.
– One SIP for daughter, one for retirement.

All new investments should be with specific targets in mind.

? Retirement Planning from Age 46

– You have 13 years left till retirement.
– PF and PPF will help, but are not enough.
– Inflation will reduce value of PPF corpus.
– Mutual funds offer better post-tax returns.
– Regular investing over next 13 years is critical.
– Increase SIP as your salary grows.

You must target financial independence before retirement. Not just pension dependency.

? Health Insurance and Risk Cover Review

– You have a family floater. That’s good.
– Check sum insured is at least Rs 10 lakh.
– Top it up if needed. Health costs rise each year.
– Also ensure you have term life insurance.
– Amount should be minimum 10 times your salary.
– Do not mix investment with insurance.

Protection planning is as important as wealth planning.

? Real Estate Holding – Just Maintain It

– You get Rs 10,000 rent monthly from your flat.
– That is good passive income. Do not sell this property.
– But avoid buying any more real estate.
– Maintenance, taxes and liquidity make real estate less attractive.
– Better to invest in mutual funds for flexibility and return.

More assets do not mean more wealth if they are not liquid.

? Income Use Plan from Now to Retirement

– 2024–2027: Focus on loan EMI, SIP and emergency fund.
– 2027: Use part of SBI Life maturity for loan part-payment.
– Rest of the money to be invested in SIP.
– 2027–2034: Increase SIP for retirement and daughter’s future.
– 2034: Plan to fully close home loan.
– 2035–2039: Save maximum possible in SIPs.

Clear path like this gives financial control and peace.

? Asset Diversification

– Avoid locking more in PPF or RD now.
– Keep PPF running, but don't increase contribution.
– Stop RD and move that money to SIP after emergency fund is ready.
– Avoid gold, crypto, or other complex assets.
– Just focus on simple, quality mutual fund SIPs in regular plan.

Simple, consistent approach wins over long term.

? Finally

– You are in a strong position due to early planning.
– But some parts need correction and better allocation.
– Use next 3 years to organise your finances more efficiently.
– Don't rush to pre-close loan unless there’s surplus.
– Reinvest the SBI Life maturity wisely.
– Avoid index funds, direct funds and real estate.
– Stick to regular plan mutual funds with guidance.
– Focus on specific goals – child education, marriage and your retirement.

Clear direction now will ensure peace later. You are very much on track.

Best Regards,
K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,
Chief Financial Planner,
www.holisticinvestment.in
https://www.youtube.com/@HolisticInvestment

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Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |9730 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Jul 14, 2025

Money
Hi Sir I have Purchased a Home which is Around 25L with all my Savings,M.funds. My Inhand Salary is 60,000/-, And Debt details are as follows Personal Loan- 2Lac Gold Loan - 2.25Lac From Relatives - 4.5Lac.(1yrear time taken) Now I am finding very difficulty to Save the money and tracking every Single Penny.. Kindly suggest me in this Case what to do.
Ans: Let’s carefully understand your financial position and work step-by-step to improve it. The current situation seems tight, but with the right planning, things can be managed well.

? Current Financial Snapshot

– Home purchased for Rs 25 lakh with your entire savings and mutual funds.
– No home loan, which is a good point. Property is fully owned.
– In-hand monthly salary is Rs 60,000.
– Existing debts include:

Rs 2 lakh personal loan

Rs 2.25 lakh gold loan

Rs 4.5 lakh borrowed from relatives
– You mentioned that you are struggling to save or track money.

This is a very common challenge in the early years of home ownership. Let’s take one step at a time.

? Cash Flow Stress Analysis

– Your monthly income is not matching with outflow due to EMI and regular expenses.
– Personal loan and gold loan EMIs may be high due to short repayment terms.
– You also have a moral obligation to return the amount to your relatives in 1 year.
– Your current cash outflows may be above 70% of your income.

This gap creates financial stress. We need to balance it.

? Immediate Focus: Create a Monthly Budget

– Write down every expense, even the smallest one.
– Break expenses into 3 parts: Must-Have, Flexible, and Avoidable.
– Must-Have: Rent (if any), groceries, child school fees, transport.
– Flexible: DTH, OTT, eating outside, non-essential shopping.
– Avoidable: Unused subscriptions, unplanned EMI purchases, gadgets.
– First target is to reduce the flexible and avoidable categories.

You must review this every 15 days. It will give clear spending awareness.

? Debt Prioritisation Strategy

– Start with the costliest loan: usually personal loans and gold loans.
– Try to close the personal loan first. Interest is normally very high.
– Next focus on gold loan, since delay may lead to loss of gold asset.
– Relative loan is at zero or low interest, repay slowly.
– Talk to relatives honestly and request 6 more months for comfort.

It’s okay to request this. Most families do understand.

? Use a Debt Avalanche Method (Without Calculation)

– Pay minimum EMI on all loans.
– Use any surplus to close highest-interest loan first.
– Then move to next high-interest loan.
– Do not try to repay all equally. That will not reduce total interest much.

Focused repayment brings mental peace.

? Emergency Fund Creation

– Right now, you don’t have any savings left.
– Without an emergency fund, any small expense will push you to borrow again.
– Start building a fund of at least Rs 30,000 to Rs 50,000 in a savings account.
– Set small goals like saving Rs 2,000 a month.
– Emergency fund is not for investments. It is for protection.

This step avoids future personal loan traps.

? Investments Can Wait – But Not Planning

– Do not start any SIP or investment now. Focus only on debt clearing and emergency fund.
– But track your expenses and income as if you are planning for a SIP.
– This mental discipline will help when you are actually ready to invest.
– Planning must begin today, investing can wait 6–9 months.

Clarity in numbers always comes before wealth creation.

? Role of Mutual Funds Later

– Once debts are cleared and emergency fund is ready, only then start investing.
– Go for actively managed mutual funds through Certified Financial Planner and MFD.
– Regular plans allow you to get guided review and handholding.
– Avoid direct plans unless you are trained in market analysis.
– Regular plans offer rebalancing, portfolio review and behavioural support.

Guided approach helps in emotional control during market changes.

? Why Not Index Funds

– Index funds may seem cheaper, but carry hidden risks.
– They cannot protect you during market crash.
– They blindly follow the index without risk filters.
– No scope for active management or downside protection.
– Actively managed funds give better returns in uncertain markets.

Safety with growth is key for salaried individuals like you.

? Income Expansion Attempts

– If possible, take small freelance work in weekends or evenings.
– Tutoring, online assistance, delivery work, or any skill-based work helps.
– Even Rs 3,000 extra income can fast-track loan closure.
– Don’t ignore small side income. Every rupee counts in debt management.

This step adds strength to your plan.

? Lifestyle Adjustments – Temporarily

– Pause all unnecessary spending like dining out, movies, and clothing for now.
– Stick to basic lifestyle until all high-interest debts are cleared.
– Use old phone, avoid gadgets, reuse clothes and accessories.
– Don’t feel bad. This phase is temporary and purposeful.

Short-term sacrifice brings long-term peace.

? Avoid These Mistakes

– Do not take another loan to repay existing loans.
– Don’t swipe credit cards for regular expenses.
– Avoid BNPL or EMI traps on online shopping.
– Don’t invest in gold or crypto now.
– Avoid insurance policies that combine investment and life cover.

Focus only on liquidity and debt reduction now.

? Family Support and Communication

– Speak with your spouse or parents honestly about current situation.
– Assign small responsibility to each family member.
– Even saving Rs 200 in electricity or food matters.
– Emotional support from family boosts financial discipline.

Unity brings faster solutions.

? Future Planning – Once Stable

– After debt closure, build 3 months' salary as emergency corpus.
– Then, set financial goals like retirement, children education, and vacations.
– Start SIP in 2-3 mutual funds under regular plan with guidance.
– Choose goals-based investing, not trend-based investing.
– Review goals every 6 months with a Certified Financial Planner.

Future planning needs structure, not trial and error.

? Insurance Check

– Ensure you have term life cover equal to at least 10x of your annual income.
– If you have ULIPs or traditional endowment plans, review them with a CFP.
– Surrender if needed and shift to mutual funds for long-term wealth.
– For health, minimum Rs 5 lakh cover is needed for family.

Insurance is protection, not investment.

? Mental Framing for Money Success

– Stop comparing lifestyle with others.
– Avoid social media-based spending urges.
– Be content and frugal for next 1–2 years.
– Celebrate small financial wins – like repaying one EMI early.
– Keep reminding yourself – this is a phase, not forever.

Discipline is more powerful than any investment plan.

? Finally

– You have already done one good thing – bought a house without a home loan.
– This is your foundation. Now your job is to build peace and liquidity.
– Cut expenses, increase income, repay loans smartly.
– Say no to lifestyle pressure and wrong investment traps.
– Once you are stable, mutual fund investment under regular plan will guide your growth.

Keep moving step by step. You are already on the path.

Best Regards,
K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,
Chief Financial Planner,
www.holisticinvestment.in
https://www.youtube.com/@HolisticInvestment

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Nayagam P

Nayagam P P  |8802 Answers  |Ask -

Career Counsellor - Answered on Jul 14, 2025

Career
Sir CSE in BITS if to choose between goa and hyderabad then whivh one should we opt for and why ? We have git hyderbad and will get Goa if done freeze the option in preference
Ans: Sharma, Both BITS Goa and BITS Hyderabad offer excellent Computer Science and Engineering programs with identical curriculum, faculty standards, and degree credentials under BITS Pilani. BITS Goa (established 2004) provides a picturesque 188-acre campus with pleasant weather, strong cultural festivities including the renowned Waves festival, and slightly higher placement consistency with First Degree placements at 91.15% in 2023. The campus features modern computing labs, proximity to beaches, and a vibrant social atmosphere. BITS Hyderabad (established 2008) offers a sprawling 200-acre campus with state-of-the-art infrastructure, modern laboratories, and excellent connectivity to Hyderabad's IT ecosystem. The campus recorded First Degree placements at 87.23% in 2023 with strong industry partnerships. Both campuses maintain similar median packages around ?17-18 LPA and attract identical top recruiters including Google, Microsoft, Amazon, and other leading firms. The Practice School program and academic rigor remain consistent across both locations, ensuring comparable educational quality and career outcomes.

Recommendation: Choose BITS Goa if you prioritize pleasant weather, cultural vibrancy, scenic beauty, and slightly better placement consistency; opt for BITS Hyderabad if you prefer state-of-the-art modern infrastructure, proximity to India's IT hub, and enhanced industry exposure opportunities within a rapidly growing tech ecosystem. All the BEST for Admission & a Prosperous Future!

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Nayagam P

Nayagam P P  |8802 Answers  |Ask -

Career Counsellor - Answered on Jul 14, 2025

Nayagam P

Nayagam P P  |8802 Answers  |Ask -

Career Counsellor - Answered on Jul 14, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Jul 14, 2025Hindi
Career
Ict ioc is best or nit manipur/mizoram civil is best . I confused what should I do .
Ans: The ICT–IOCL Odisha Campus offers a unique five-year integrated M.Tech in Chemical Engineering with minors in six disciplines, blending nine trimesters of on-campus coursework with six trimesters of paid industrial internships, led by PhD-qualified faculty in state-of-the-art labs and backed by NAAC A++ accreditation and merit-cum-means scholarships. In contrast, National Institute of Technology Manipur’s four-year B.Tech in Civil Engineering admits 38 students per year, is NIRF-ranked 101–150, features foundational structural, geotechnical, and environmental labs under government funding, and achieved a median UG package of ?8.75 LPA with 147 of 161 graduates placed in 2024. NIT Mizoram’s B.Tech Civil cohort (34 seats) recorded a 100% placement rate in 2024 with a median package of ?6 LPA and recruiters such as Adobe and Tech Mahindra, all within its Institute of National Importance framework and burgeoning permanent campus near Aizawl Airport.

Recommendation: If your goal is industry-immersive chemical engineering training with guaranteed stipends and entrepreneurial focus, choose ICT–IOC Bhubaneswar; for a core civil engineering pathway with strong government support, higher civil-branch placements and national-level credentials, opt for NIT Mizoram, with NIT Manipur as a solid fallback. All the BEST for Admission & a Prosperous Future!

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Nayagam P

Nayagam P P  |8802 Answers  |Ask -

Career Counsellor - Answered on Jul 14, 2025

Career
My son has secured a seat in the AI & Data Science course at IIIT Kota through JoSAA counselling. Kindly guide us regarding the scope and future opportunities in AI & DS under current circumstances. Also, should we still consider participating in CSAB rounds, or is it advisable to retain this seat?
Ans: The B.Tech in Artificial Intelligence & Data Engineering at IIIT Kota was established in the 2024–25 academic session with an annual intake of 60 students, offering a curriculum that blends foundational AI, data science, and hands-on project work under PhD-qualified faculty. As a newly launched branch, the first cohort has not yet graduated, so there are no branch-specific placement records for 2024 or 2025. However, IIIT Kota’s established CSE and ECE branches have reported strong placement statistics in 2024, with an overall placement rate of 74% and average packages above ?12 LPA, indicating a positive recruitment environment for computing disciplines. The AI & DS program is designed to meet current industry demand for data scientists, AI engineers, and analytics professionals, leveraging the institute’s growing partnerships with leading tech firms and its status as an Institute of National Importance. Participation in CSAB rounds may be considered if you are targeting higher-ranked NITs, IIITs, or core CSE branches, but for most candidates, the current AI & DS seat at IIIT Kota offers a robust platform for future opportunities in AI, machine learning, and data analytics.

Recommendation: Retain the AI & Data Science seat at IIIT Kota for its modern curriculum, strong institutional reputation, and emerging placement ecosystem; participate in CSAB only if you have a realistic chance at a core CSE seat in a higher-ranked NIT or IIIT, otherwise focus on maximizing opportunities in the current program through internships and research projects. All the BEST for Admission & a Prosperous Future!

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DISCLAIMER: The content of this post by the expert is the personal view of the rediffGURU. Investment in securities market are subject to market risks. Read all the related document carefully before investing. The securities quoted are for illustration only and are not recommendatory. Users are advised to pursue the information provided by the rediffGURU only as a source of information and as a point of reference and to rely on their own judgement when making a decision. RediffGURUS is an intermediary as per India's Information Technology Act.

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