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Anu

Anu Krishna  |1746 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Sep 20, 2021

Anu Krishna is a mind coach and relationship expert.
The co-founder of Unfear Changemakers LLP, she has received her neuro linguistic programming training from National Federation of NeuroLinguistic Programming, USA, and her energy work specialisation from the Institute for Inner Studies, Manila.
She is an executive member of the Indian Association of Adolescent Health.... more
RG Question by RG on Sep 20, 2021Hindi
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Relationship

I have been in a relationship for 12 years when I married the man I love.

It is now 6 years of marriage and we have a kid. When I was pregnant my husband was in a relationship with another woman.

When my kid was 2.5 years old I came know about the relationship and I am destroyed.

My husband asked me not to leave him and since I didn't get any support from my family I stayed. Now I am still not able to overcome the situation.

I know he doesn't love me though he says he does.

I don't know why I am with him, he is trying to maintain our relation but there is nothing like before.

I don't feel the same way. I even don't know whether I still love him or not.

Ans: Dear RGI am going to assume that you want the marriage to work and my suggestions below are based on this assumption.

It's time to get an independent person involved who will help in giving an impersonal view. This could be an elder member of the family or a Marriage Therapist.

What this person will help with is reevaluate your marriage, put things into perspective, clarify all your doubts.

Obviously, you have your doubts on whether he loves you or not after being cheated upon! But no amount of asking is going to convince you…that’s why it’s imperative for both of you involve a person who can guide you through this process of rebuilding your marriage in trust and love.

In the meantime, what I might suggest for you is: Remind yourself everyday as to why you married him and what he has brought forth to your life.

This helps you be in a sane space on a daily basis which also help you care for the toddler who needs a lot of care and love as well.

Spend time with friends that don’t just gossip and bad-mouth but can genuinely nourish you; you need this nourishment now.

Pick up a hobby and indulge in it; it helps not just distract you but also give you a ‘feel-good’ emotion and makes you have little moments of joy.

Of course, after you visit the expert, the choice of continuing in the marriage or not, rests with the two of you…choose wisely.

All the best!

You may like to see similar questions and answers below

Anu

Anu Krishna  |1746 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Mar 27, 2023

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Relationship
I am 38, I am in an unsuccessful married life. Ours was a love marriage but soon after our marriage, he showed his true colours by demeaning me in front of his family, his family too does not like me and disrespect me always. I had to fight for keeping marriage intact because I love him and could not think of seperation. He had filed for divorce earlier but later he withdrew the case and now we have a son. But, still today, I could sense he doesn’t love me. At this juncture, i am independent, I told him we can call it off but he tells me to leave my son with him and he will not allow me to take my son with me. I am completely screwed and I am not happy and suffering a lot because it is one sided love. I do not know what to do ?
Ans: Dear Garima,
Clearly your husband is unsure of what he wants from this marriage. Files for divorce and then withdraws the case? What are you; someone who can keep adjusting to his decisions with no feelings?
If you sense that there is no love, then surely there is something that is keeping you rooted in this marriage despite the fact that you are independent?
Identify what that 'something' is...because even if you choose to walk out, if this 'something' is not present in your next relationship or in whatever you do, you will regret walking out.
So, first identify it and ask yourself: Can I recreate this (something) by myself without being dependent on my marriage or my husband?
No one must suffer in a relationship. Along with Love, a fair share of understanding also keeps a marriage together.
So, evaluate what is a 'must' in a marriage for you and if that is something that you are currently experiencing/ If not, you are wise to know what to do. Yes, if children are in the picture, there's a lot more that you must consider whichever way you decide.

All the best!

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Anu

Anu Krishna  |1746 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Jul 08, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Jul 05, 2024Hindi
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Relationship
Hi, I'm a 47 year old woman working as an engineer in a corporate. I fell in love with my classmate when I was doing my engineering. He too loved me and we wanted to get married. But his father declined our marriage proposal since I did not belong to their caste. Since his parents disagreed, he did not want to go ahead with this marriage. So, we decided to leave the matter for now but continued to meet eaach other regularly and talk. A few months later, his parents forced him to get married to a close family acquaintance. Being the only child, my mom also forced me to get married to an alliance she had found suitable and i too got married. Even after marriage, I couldn't forget my boyfriend and so we would meet regularly after office and diacuss everything under the sun including our marital lives. I was never happy with my marriage and never had a child. He also seemed unhappy with his marriage but had a daughter with his wife. My husband passed away in a road accident after 3 years of marriage. I started feeling insecure and so forcedmy boyfriend to marry me. He declined to marry me due to societal pressure but was very keen to have a physical relationship. I also agreed and got pregnant with his child. When our son was 6 months old, he helped me find a rented home close to his home so that he could meet me to fulfil his physical desires. Now that my son is 10 years old and beginning to understand things, he keeps asking why his fathee doesnt stay with us and visits us only occasionally. He has never celebrated our sons birthday or taken us put anywhere. I have remained his mistress and so feel very insecure and neglected in this relationship. I also find it very difficult to lead a life like this. When i discuss this with my boyfriend, he says he cannot leave his wife and daughter for our sake (he seems to have a soft corner for them). We have had serious fights about this, and i have even told him to stay away from our lives. But he continues to come to me whenever he wants a physical relation and i succumb to the situation. Now, i feel used and want to cut off this relationship. As my son grows old and gets to know of all these things, i am afraid what he will think of me. I dont want to be looked down by my son. I have a good job, i am financially independent and have bought an apartment as well. I am confident that i can take good care of my son and lead a decent life. Please suggest what i should do?
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
Why exactly are you living off the scraps of this guy? (In terms of love)
He clearly has sent a message that there's no family with you and your son. So, when he comes over just for sex, how does that make you feel? The reason that you writing to me is perhaps that you feel disrespected with his behavior.

You are financially independent and have the freedom to raise you son out of this confusing environment. Why would you not do that and actually free yourself from this unsettled feeling? If you are looking for love, care and affection from this man, let me draw this out for you...he is clear that he is not going to leave his family and hey, why would he? His wife has not been a party to all of this.

With all the complications of having a relationship on the side, you brought a child into this world out of wedlock (that's still not the issue), the issue is that you are still hanging onto him and the scraps he throws at you in the form of intimacy. Do not mistake sex for love...Sex stems from Love and not the other way round. So, if you feel that someday he's going to crawl back to you if you keep the sex going, I highly doubt that. Plus, again that would be unfair to his wife as well.

Now, why would you not give yourself a chance to move away from this and actually pursue a healthy relationship (when you feel that you are ready)? And that can happen only when you actually decide that you value yourself and respect for you is non-negotiable. Would you be willing to do that?

All the best!
Anu Krishna
Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
Drop in: www.unfear.io
Reach me: Facebook: anukrish07/ AND LinkedIn: anukrishna-joyofserving/

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Anu

Anu Krishna  |1746 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Sep 18, 2024

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Relationship
I have been married for 12years . I married when I was 19. I have 2sons . My husband doesn’t love me and he had said to me many times .i even have doubt on him bcus he doesn’t come home to sleep 2 times in 2 weeks . Everyday I feel anxious and worried if he would not come bck . I have beg him many times to not sleep outside. Whenever he go out he never picks up my call even once. He is seeing a girl. For that we fought all the time . He asked for divorce many times but why can’t I u love him and leave him. I feel like I would die if I can’t be together with him.
Ans: Dear Phy,
If you have a spouse who has begun to ignore your pleas and request, what else can you do? Where is the respect that he must be giving you as a life partner?
Now, I also want you to ask yourself if your doubts are just figment of your imagination or are they based on facts? Have you seen any message on his phone or a call to anyone planning a meeting?
Yes, it's strange and suspicious I will agree that he stays out a few days every few weeks, but make sure of what exactly is happening. When you are sure that what you suspect is true, confront him with the support of your family members but not threaten him where he retracts from you completely.
And the bitter truth, if he has asked for divorce many times, maybe it's his way of saying that there is nothing more left in the marriage for him. It hurts you for sure, but what's the point of living with someone who cannot appreciate your presence and love?

All the best!
Anu Krishna
Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
Drop in: www.unfear.io
Reach me: Facebook: anukrish07/ AND LinkedIn: anukrishna-joyofserving/

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Anu

Anu Krishna  |1746 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Nov 08, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Nov 06, 2024
Relationship
Hi Anu, i am 34 year old woman married to a 41 year old man. We are married for past 10 years. We had no sexual relationship for first 5 years, after lot of pestering and fights and realisation that there must a physical problem at my husband’s end i convinced him to visit an expert in this domain. Turns out he had low testosterone level. He took the necessary medication and i really tried for 1 year to make it work. It worked to a certain extent but it was more like a chore than something we really want to do. Then we decided that we should go for a baby as well while we are at it. Now my daughter is 2.5. Things never got better. We don’t talk about our lack of any intimacy physical or mental. We are living like roommates. He is the best husband a person can ask for on paper. My parents love him. He is the nicest guy. But in reality we never had any connection and no comparability. And whatever attraction and love i had for him in the beginning is lost completely. I have no idea what goes on his mind. He is a closed book i could never open. He accepts the problem but blames me too if i force him to open up. I am in such a bad place mentally. I keep thinking about the one life i got, i wasted it. Why did i get married so soon? I like someone in office who i have no future with because he is in some other country. I do not know what to do and how to live my life. I get thoughts that life should not be so long.
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
A case where the person shuts down because he carries the guilt of what is happening to him and what he is facing...not a very useful way of dealing with the situation but when society has drummed it into us that a 'man' is defined by his masculine traits and behaviors, can you blame him for it?
He is possibly embarrassed and this could be a reason for him 'closing down' within the marriage. He needs to be slowly cajoled out of what he is feeling...What the two of you could do is: start the marriage as though it is Day One...
Now, how would the two of you connect? How would things be different?
It is an attempt to reconnect with no past baggage which helps in focusing on each other in the present day. That helps in making good solid commitments to one another but of course, there has to be a lot of communication in this process. Do take the help of a professional if this feels too much to go through by yourselves.
And as for the colleague; hmmmm grass on the other side will always seem greener!

All the best!
Anu Krishna
Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
Drop in: www.unfear.io
Reach me: Facebook: anukrish07/ AND LinkedIn: anukrishna-joyofserving/

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Latest Questions
Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |10902 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Dec 17, 2025

Money
Hi Vivek, I am 43 year old. I am currently working in private organization. Having an Investment of 8.0 Lac in NPS, 27 Lac in PF, 4 Lac in PPF and 2.5 Lac in FD. My child is in 11th Science. I have my own house and no any loan. I need to Invest around 80.0 Lac for Child Education, Marriage and Retirement.
Ans: Your discipline and clarity deserve appreciation.
You have built strong foundations early.
Many people reach forty without such assets.
You already reduced major future stress.
That itself gives you an advantage.

» Current Financial Snapshot
– You are 43 years old.
– You work in a private organisation.
– You own your house fully.
– You have no loans.
– This gives financial stability.

– Retirement focused savings already exist.
– Long term instruments form your base.
– Your money is spread across safety products.
– Liquidity is limited but acceptable.
– Growth exposure needs attention.

» Existing Investment Review
– Retirement related savings are meaningful.
– Mandatory savings have helped discipline.
– These instruments protect capital well.
– However growth potential is limited.
– Inflation risk exists over long periods.

– These assets suit long term security.
– They suit retirement stability well.
– They are not designed for high growth.
– Child goals need higher growth.
– Marriage expenses need liquidity planning.

» Child Education Time Horizon
– Your child is in 11th Science.
– Higher education expenses are near.
– Time available is limited.
– Risk capacity is lower here.
– Planning must be conservative.

– Education costs grow faster than inflation.
– Professional courses cost significantly more.
– Overseas options cost even higher.
– Partial funding support is important.
– Loans should be minimised.

» Child Marriage Planning Window
– Marriage expenses are medium term.
– You still have some time.
– Cultural expectations increase costs.
– Planning early reduces stress.
– This goal needs balance.

– Too much risk can hurt plans.
– Too little growth causes shortfall.
– Phased investing works best.
– Gradual shift towards safety helps.
– Liquidity must be ensured.

» Retirement Planning Horizon
– Retirement is long term.
– You have nearly two decades.
– This allows growth oriented approach.
– Inflation is biggest risk here.
– Passive savings alone will not suffice.

– Retirement expenses last many years.
– Healthcare costs rise sharply later.
– Regular income post retirement matters.
– Corpus must be inflation protected.
– Growth assets become essential.

» Understanding Rs 80 Lac Requirement
– Rs 80 Lac is a combined target.
– All goals have different timelines.
– One strategy will not suit all.
– Segmentation is essential.
– This avoids misallocation.

– Education needs immediate planning.
– Marriage needs medium planning.
– Retirement needs long term planning.
– Each goal must be ring-fenced.
– Mixing goals creates confusion.

» Asset Allocation Importance
– Asset allocation drives outcomes.
– Not product selection alone.
– Time horizon decides allocation.
– Risk appetite decides allocation.
– Discipline maintains allocation.

– Safety instruments protect capital.
– Growth instruments fight inflation.
– Balance avoids emotional mistakes.
– Rebalancing keeps strategy aligned.
– This is a continuous process.

» Role Of Equity Exposure
– Equity creates long term wealth.
– Equity is volatile short term.
– Time reduces equity risk.
– Retirement horizon suits equity.
– Education horizon needs limited equity.

– Selective equity exposure is essential.
– Quality matters more than quantity.
– Active management adds value.
– Market cycles require judgment.
– Discipline ensures success.

» Why Not Depend Only On Safe Instruments
– Safe instruments give predictable returns.
– They struggle to beat inflation.
– Purchasing power erodes slowly.
– Long term goals suffer silently.
– Growth becomes insufficient.

– Your current assets are safety heavy.
– Growth allocation needs improvement.
– This change should be gradual.
– Sudden shifts create stress.
– Planned transition works better.

» Education Goal Strategy
– Use conservative growth approach.
– Capital protection is priority.
– Avoid aggressive exposure now.
– Phased investing works best.
– Gradual de-risking is necessary.

– Education funding should be ready.
– Avoid dependency on future income.
– Avoid last minute borrowing.
– Keep funds accessible.
– Liquidity is key.

» Marriage Goal Strategy
– Marriage expenses are emotional.
– Costs are difficult to predict.
– Planning gives confidence.
– Balanced approach is ideal.
– Growth plus safety mix works.

– Start allocating gradually.
– Increase safety closer to event.
– Avoid locking money long term.
– Keep flexibility.
– Avoid speculation.

» Retirement Goal Strategy
– Retirement planning needs growth focus.
– Inflation is the silent enemy.
– Long horizon allows equity.
– Volatility should be accepted.
– Discipline ensures compounding.

– Retirement corpus must grow faster.
– Contributions should increase with income.
– Lifestyle expectations must be realistic.
– Healthcare buffer is essential.
– Regular review is necessary.

» Role Of Active Funds
– Markets do not move uniformly.
– Sectors rotate frequently.
– Index funds stay static.
– They reflect index weaknesses.
– Active funds adapt better.

– Active managers adjust allocations.
– They reduce exposure in weak sectors.
– They increase exposure in growth areas.
– This helps during volatility.
– Especially for long term goals.

» Why Avoid Index Based Approach
– Index funds mirror market direction.
– They cannot protect downside.
– They remain exposed during corrections.
– Investors feel helpless.
– Returns stay average.

– Active strategies aim to outperform.
– They manage risk dynamically.
– They suit Indian market inefficiencies.
– Skilled management adds value.
– This matters over decades.

» Regular Investing Route Benefits
– Regular route offers guidance.
– Behaviour management is critical.
– Panic decisions destroy returns.
– Professional handholding matters.
– Especially during volatile phases.

– Certified Financial Planner helps discipline.
– Goal tracking becomes structured.
– Portfolio review becomes systematic.
– Emotional bias reduces.
– Long term success improves.

» Liquidity Planning
– Emergency funds are essential.
– You currently have limited liquidity.
– One year expenses should be accessible.
– This avoids distress selling.
– It protects long term investments.

– Emergency planning gives peace.
– Unexpected events do not derail plans.
– This should be built gradually.
– Avoid using retirement savings.
– Keep it separate.

» Insurance As Risk Management
– Insurance protects your plan.
– It is not an investment.
– Adequate life cover is essential.
– Health cover avoids financial shock.
– Premiums are necessary expenses.

– Delaying insurance increases risk.
– Medical inflation is severe.
– Employer cover is insufficient.
– Family protection is priority.
– This secures your goals.

» Tax Efficiency Perspective
– Tax planning should support goals.
– Avoid tax driven decisions alone.
– Post tax returns matter.
– Simplicity reduces mistakes.
– Compliance avoids future stress.

– Long term equity taxation is favourable.
– Short term churn increases tax.
– Stability helps efficiency.
– Avoid frequent switching.
– Stay disciplined.

» Monitoring And Review Process
– Plans are not static.
– Life changes require adjustment.
– Income growth allows higher contribution.
– Goals may change.
– Reviews keep relevance.

– Annual review is sufficient.
– Avoid daily market tracking.
– Focus on progress.
– Ignore noise.
– Stick to strategy.

» Behavioural Discipline
– Emotions affect investment outcomes.
– Fear causes premature exit.
– Greed causes overexposure.
– Discipline balances both.
– Guidance helps immensely.

– Long term wealth needs patience.
– Short term market moves mislead.
– Consistency beats timing.
– Process beats prediction.
– Stay calm.

» Aligning Goals With Reality
– Rs 80 Lac goal is achievable.
– Planning must be realistic.
– Income growth will support it.
– Lifestyle control helps savings.
– Early planning reduces pressure.

– You already started well.
– Course correction is timely.
– Delay would increase burden.
– Action now simplifies future.
– Confidence improves.

» Family Communication
– Discuss goals with family.
– Shared understanding reduces conflict.
– Expectations become realistic.
– Decisions gain support.
– Stress reduces significantly.

– Financial planning is family planning.
– Transparency builds trust.
– It improves discipline.
– Everyone works towards goals.
– Harmony improves.

» Risk Capacity Versus Risk Appetite
– Risk capacity is strong for retirement.
– Risk appetite may vary emotionally.
– Planning must respect both.
– Overexposure creates anxiety.
– Underexposure creates regret.

– Balance is the answer.
– Gradual allocation changes work best.
– Avoid extreme decisions.
– Stay flexible.
– Stay focused.

» Final Insights
– You have built a strong base.
– Assets are safe but growth limited.
– Goals need segmented planning.
– Education needs conservative strategy.
– Marriage needs balanced approach.
– Retirement needs growth focus.
– Active management adds value.
– Regular guidance supports discipline.
– Insurance protects the plan.
– Liquidity avoids stress.
– Review keeps alignment.
– Patience creates results.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in

https://www.youtube.com/@HolisticInvestment

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Reetika

Reetika Sharma  |429 Answers  |Ask -

Financial Planner, MF and Insurance Expert - Answered on Dec 17, 2025

Purshotam

Purshotam Lal  |68 Answers  |Ask -

Financial Planner, MF and Insurance Expert - Answered on Dec 17, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Dec 16, 2025Hindi
Money
Hellow Purshotam Sir, I am 48 year having privet Job. I have started investment from 2017, current value of investment is 82L and having monthly 50K SIP as below. My goal to have 2.5Cr corpus at the age of 58. Please advice... 1. Nippon India small cap -Growth Rs 5,000 2. Sundaram Mid Cap fund Regular plan-Growth Rs 5,000 3. ICICI Prudential Small Cap- Growth Rs 10,000 4. ICICI Prudential Large Cap fund-Growth Rs 5,000 5. ICICI Prudential Balanced Adv. fund-Growth Rs 5,000 6. DSP Small Cap fund Regular Growth Rs 5,000 7. Nippn India Pharma Fund- Growth Rs 5,000 8. SBI focused Fund Regular plan- Growth Rs 5,000 9. SBI Dynamic Asset Allocation Active FoF-Regular-Growth Rs 5,000
Ans: Good Morning dear. Your portfolio is invested in high growth stocks but with a much higher risk. But since it is invested for around 8 years now and still 10 years more you look forward to continue investments, it is fairly a long and desirable period to keep monies in Equity mutual funds. Funds selection is good and you are likely to build a corpus of Rs 2.5 Crore at your Age 58. Only suggestion to you is that you may switch your entire portfolio in 3 parts using bucket strategies before 2 years of your Age 58. One part you should switch to conservative hybrid MF for drawing annuities or SWP (Systematic Withdrawals @ 5 or 6% pa for first 5 years), Second and 3rd part of your corpus you should allocate to Aggressive hybrid mutual funds and Growth Mutual Funds for 8 Years and more respectively. Also at your age 61, 66, 71 likewise switch part of your corpus from Equity MF schemes to conservative hybrid MF schemes for further annuities. Good luck and all the best. If you need guidance please contact a good and certified financial planner or certified financial advisor.

Purshotam, CFP®, MBA, CAIIB, FIII
Certified Financial Planner
Insurance advisor
www.finphoenixinvest.com

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Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |10902 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Dec 17, 2025

Money
Hi, I am 32 years old, married, and have a 4-year-old daughter. My monthly take-home salary is 55,000 rupees, and my wife's salary is 31,000 rupees, making our total income 86,000 rupees. I am currently in a lot of debt. Our total EMIs amount to 99,910 rupees (total loans with an average interest rate of 12.5%), and even with my father covering most of the monthly expenses, I still spend about 10,000 rupees. This leaves me with a shortage of approximately 25,000 rupees (debt) every month. My total debt across various banks is 36,50,000 rupees, and I also have a gold loan of 14 lakhs. I cannot change the EMI or loan tenure for another year. I also have a 2 lakh rupee loan from private lenders at an 18% interest rate. My total debt is over 52 lakhs. Now, with gold and silver prices rising, I'm worried that I won't be able to buy them again. I have an opportunity to get a 2 lakh rupee loan at a 12% interest rate, and I'm thinking of using that money to buy gold and silver and then pledge them at the bank again. Half of my current gold loan is from a similar situation – I took a loan from private lenders, bought gold, and then took a gold loan from the bank to repay the private loan. Given my current situation and my family's circumstances, should I buy more gold or focus on repaying my debts? What should I do? The monthly interest on my loans is approximately 50,000 rupees, meaning 50,000 rupees of my salary goes towards interest every month. What should I do in this situation? I also have an SBI Jan Nivesh SIP of 2000 rupees per month for the last four months. I have no savings left. I am thinking of taking out term insurance and health insurance, but I am hesitating because I don't have the money. I am looking for some suggestions to get out of these debts.
Ans: Your honesty and clarity deserve appreciation.
You have explained everything openly.
That itself shows responsibility and courage.
Your concern for family security is clear.
This situation is stressful but not hopeless.

» Current Financial Snapshot
– You are 32 years old.
– Married with a young daughter.
– Family income is Rs 86,000 monthly.
– Total EMIs exceed total income.
– Monthly deficit exists every month.

» Debt Position Reality
– Total loans exceed Rs 52 lakhs.
– Multiple banks and lenders involved.
– Average interest is very high.
– Private lender interest is dangerous.
– Gold loan exposure is large.

» Cash Flow Mismatch
– Monthly EMIs are around Rs 1 lakh.
– Monthly income is only Rs 86,000.
– Father supports household expenses.
– Still a monthly shortage exists.
– This gap is unsustainable long term.

» Interest Drain Assessment
– Around Rs 50,000 goes as interest monthly.
– Interest gives zero future benefit.
– Half your income is lost to interest.
– This is the core problem.
– Capital is not reducing meaningfully.

» Gold Purchase Thought Analysis
– Fear of rising gold prices is natural.
– Emotional thinking is influencing decisions.
– Buying gold using loans is risky.
– Pledging gold increases debt cycle.
– This strategy already created stress earlier.

» Gold Loan Trap Explanation
– Buying gold using borrowed money is leverage.
– Leverage increases risk in personal finance.
– Gold does not generate income.
– Loan interest keeps accumulating.
– Emotional comfort hides financial damage.

» Clear Answer on Gold Buying
– Do not buy more gold now.
– Do not take fresh loans for gold.
– This will worsen debt burden.
– Price rise fear should be ignored.
– Survival is more important than assets.

» Priority Reset Required
– Debt freedom comes before investments.
– Cash flow stability comes before wealth.
– Insurance comes before gold.
– Family safety comes before emotions.
– Discipline is needed now.

» Private Lender Loan Danger
– 18 percent interest is destructive.
– This loan must be closed first.
– It gives no flexibility.
– It increases stress constantly.
– It affects mental health also.

» Strategy for Private Loan
– Use any possible support to close it.
– Ask family help if possible.
– Sell unused items if required.
– Temporary embarrassment is better than long stress.
– Closing this gives immediate relief.

» Gold Loan Strategy
– Do not increase gold loan amount.
– Avoid rollover behaviour.
– Use bonuses or gifts to reduce principal.
– Do not top up gold loans.
– Reduce dependency gradually.

» Bank Loan Lock Period Reality
– You cannot restructure for one year.
– This period must be survived carefully.
– No new liabilities should be added.
– Expenses must stay minimal.
– Emotional spending must stop.

» Expense Control Measures
– Track every rupee monthly.
– Avoid eating outside.
– Avoid subscriptions and upgrades.
– Delay lifestyle expenses fully.
– Treat this as recovery phase.

» Role of Father’s Support
– Parental support is a blessing.
– Use this support wisely.
– Do not misuse the relief.
– Focus on debt reduction.
– This support is temporary.

» SIP Investment Assessment
– SIP of Rs 2,000 is symbolic.
– It gives psychological comfort only.
– It does not change financial position.
– Debt interest is much higher.
– Pause SIP temporarily if needed.

» Investment Versus Debt Reality
– Paying debt gives guaranteed returns.
– Interest saved equals investment gain.
– No mutual fund can beat 18 percent interest.
– Debt repayment is priority investment now.
– Wealth creation starts after stability.

» Insurance Hesitation Reality
– Term insurance is not optional.
– Health insurance is essential.
– One medical emergency will destroy finances.
– Insurance prevents future debt.
– Low premium options exist.

» Insurance Action Plan
– Take basic term insurance immediately.
– Take basic family health insurance.
– Choose lowest premium coverage.
– Avoid investment linked policies.
– Protection matters more than returns.

» Child Responsibility Perspective
– Your daughter depends fully on you.
– Her education needs future planning.
– But first ensure family survival.
– Debt stress affects parenting quality.
– Stability helps emotional health.

» Psychological Pressure Management
– Fear is driving wrong decisions.
– Gold fear is emotional.
– Loan fear is real.
– Focus on controllable actions.
– Ignore market noise completely.

» What Not To Do Now
– Do not take new loans.
– Do not buy gold or silver.
– Do not lend money to anyone.
– Do not chase investments.
– Do not hide problems.

» What To Do Immediately
– List all loans clearly.
– Mark highest interest loans.
– Target private lender loan first.
– Reduce any discretionary spending.
– Communicate with family honestly.

» One Year Survival Plan
– Focus on EMI discipline.
– Avoid defaults at all costs.
– Build small emergency buffer slowly.
– Accept temporary discomfort.
– One year will change options.

» After One Year Options
– Approach banks for restructuring.
– Request tenure extension.
– Reduce EMI burden.
– Consolidate loans if possible.
– Negotiate interest rates.

» Long Term Recovery Vision
– Debt free life is possible.
– Income will increase with experience.
– Expenses will stabilise.
– This phase will pass.
– Discipline will shape your future.

» Emotional Bond With Gold
– Gold feels like safety.
– But debt is unsafe.
– True security is cash flow.
– True wealth is peace.
– True protection is insurance.

» Family Communication Importance
– Discuss openly with your wife.
– Take joint decisions.
– Avoid blame or guilt.
– Team effort reduces stress.
– You are partners.

» Self Worth Reminder
– Debt does not define character.
– Mistakes happen in life.
– Learning matters more.
– You are responsible and aware.
– That is strength.

» Final Insights
– Do not buy gold now.
– Do not take new loans.
– Focus fully on debt reduction.
– Close private lender loan first.
– Take basic term and health insurance.
– Pause investments if required.
– Control expenses strictly.
– Survive one year patiently.
– Stability will return gradually.
– Your situation is difficult but solvable.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in

https://www.youtube.com/@HolisticInvestment

...Read more

DISCLAIMER: The content of this post by the expert is the personal view of the rediffGURU. Investment in securities market are subject to market risks. Read all the related document carefully before investing. The securities quoted are for illustration only and are not recommendatory. Users are advised to pursue the information provided by the rediffGURU only as a source of information and as a point of reference and to rely on their own judgement when making a decision. RediffGURUS is an intermediary as per India's Information Technology Act.

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