I am 38, I am in an unsuccessful married life. Ours was a love marriage but soon after our marriage, he showed his true colours by demeaning me in front of his family, his family too does not like me and disrespect me always. I had to fight for keeping marriage intact because I love him and could not think of seperation. He had filed for divorce earlier but later he withdrew the case and now we have a son. But, still today, I could sense he doesn’t love me. At this juncture, i am independent, I told him we can call it off but he tells me to leave my son with him and he will not allow me to take my son with me. I am completely screwed and I am not happy and suffering a lot because it is one sided love. I do not know what to do ?
Ans: Dear Garima,
Clearly your husband is unsure of what he wants from this marriage. Files for divorce and then withdraws the case? What are you; someone who can keep adjusting to his decisions with no feelings?
If you sense that there is no love, then surely there is something that is keeping you rooted in this marriage despite the fact that you are independent?
Identify what that 'something' is...because even if you choose to walk out, if this 'something' is not present in your next relationship or in whatever you do, you will regret walking out.
So, first identify it and ask yourself: Can I recreate this (something) by myself without being dependent on my marriage or my husband?
No one must suffer in a relationship. Along with Love, a fair share of understanding also keeps a marriage together.
So, evaluate what is a 'must' in a marriage for you and if that is something that you are currently experiencing/ If not, you are wise to know what to do. Yes, if children are in the picture, there's a lot more that you must consider whichever way you decide.
All the best!
