I have been in a relationship for 12 years when I married the man I love.
It is now 6 years of marriage and we have a kid. When I was pregnant my husband was in a relationship with another woman.
When my kid was 2.5 years old I came know about the relationship and I am destroyed.
My husband asked me not to leave him and since I didn't get any support from my family I stayed. Now I am still not able to overcome the situation.
I know he doesn't love me though he says he does.
I don't know why I am with him, he is trying to maintain our relation but there is nothing like before.
I don't feel the same way. I even don't know whether I still love him or not.
Ans: Dear RG
, I am going to assume that you want the marriage to work and my suggestions below are based on this assumption.
It's time to get an independent person involved who will help in giving an impersonal view. This could be an elder member of the family or a Marriage Therapist.
What this person will help with is reevaluate your marriage, put things into perspective, clarify all your doubts.
Obviously, you have your doubts on whether he loves you or not after being cheated upon! But no amount of asking is going to convince you…that’s why it’s imperative for both of you involve a person who can guide you through this process of rebuilding your marriage in trust and love.
In the meantime, what I might suggest for you is: Remind yourself everyday as to why you married him and what he has brought forth to your life.
This helps you be in a sane space on a daily basis which also help you care for the toddler who needs a lot of care and love as well.
Spend time with friends that don’t just gossip and bad-mouth but can genuinely nourish you; you need this nourishment now.
Pick up a hobby and indulge in it; it helps not just distract you but also give you a ‘feel-good’ emotion and makes you have little moments of joy.
Of course, after you visit the expert, the choice of continuing in the marriage or not, rests with the two of you…choose wisely.
All the best!
