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My Parents Are Trying to Finalize My Marriage Without My Consent - What Should I Do?

Shalini

Shalini Singh  |169 Answers  |Ask -

Dating Coach - Answered on Aug 12, 2024

Shalini Singh is the founder of andwemet, an online matchmaking service for urban Indians living in India and overseas. After graduating from college as a kindergarten teacher, Singh worked at various firms specialising in marketing strategy, digital marketing and public relations before finding her niche as an entrepreneur. In 2008, she founded Galvanise PR, an independent communications and public relations. In 2019, she launched andwemet.
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Mehak Question by Mehak on Jul 29, 2024Hindi
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"Hi... I'm a 28-year-old female. My parents are searching for a suitable match for me. They recently received a proposal from a guy's family. Since my family is orthodox, they're trying to finalize my marriage without consulting me. However, the main issue is that when my father told them I want to speak with the groom, his father hesitated."He said they can talk after the engagement, which made me feel uneasy and suspicious. What should I do in this situation?

Ans: This sure is a red flag -

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Shalini

Shalini Singh  |169 Answers  |Ask -

Dating Coach - Answered on Apr 17, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Apr 16, 2024Hindi
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Hi Mam, I wanted to keep it anonymous. I am 26years old female, my parents are looking for a suitable alliance for me. They came with a proposal from a guy's family and they wanted to have a formal meet in a temple. We all met in the temple the guy's family looked good they talked in a nice manner myself and the guy had a seperate conversation. Before going his parents told that he is an introvert and wont speak much. while we went to talk i was the one asking him questions and he only replied for that and inturn asked me the same question. I am an extrovert so i did the most of the talking part i didnt wanted to make the convo boring without answering anything so i was coming up with new questions. We spoke for around 10-15mins and then went to the place where our parents were sitting, his parents asked me to tell the answer immediately but i told them that i will tell the decision once i reach home. His parnets talked to him seperately and asked him the decision and he said yes it seems. We left the temple then, after two days when my parents asked me what was my decision i told them that though he is a nice guy i cant see him as my partner and if were to marry him that would be for your happiness i will not be able to marry him whole heartedly was my answer, then my parents spoke to his parents and told that if you want to talk to him again meet him somewhere and then talk and decide. I thought okay lets give it a try and said yes, we met after a week in a cafe. He initially asked me about my work and then i asked the same after that again he didnt speak much, i always wanted my partner to speak and have fun conversation with me. Though its our second meet i wanted him to atleast talk little bit that the first one but he didnt do much talking part. I was again talking and we left after 30mins. My parents were trying to convince me a lot, i told them that my intuition doesn't work with this guy(I am firm believer of intuition i have been doing things based on my intuition only) but my parents were trying to convince me telling you dont know what you want we will only know what you want, you will be happy if you marry this guy. But my soul doesnt want to marry this guy it seems im not able to accept my parents convincing words. If i were to marry him that will only be my parents choice and not my choice. What should i do now?
Ans: Well, this conversation requires a discussion - but I will attempt responding based on what you have shared. You should know introverts take time in opening up...and that should be respected. Its possible when you know each other, he may still not open up with others, but with you he is talkative. What is bothersome here is you intuition, your 6th sense - which makes you uncomfortable - question it, why do you think that is the case. If I was in a similar situation I would have asked to meet this gentleman 3-4 times more - and would observe more and talk less :)....maybe listen more and ask fewer questions. If you do meet him ask him what is making him say yes. Let him know that it bothers you that he responds in short sentences. But after that play games together - from board games to games like 3 things you wish to have in your partner to 3 qualities you wish you partner works upon. You need to answer this as well. Ask him his 3 strengths and share yours, share personality traits you need to work on and ask his.....keep the conversations light and fun....and then question your intuition again...and if it does not agree then do what works for you. Make parents sit down and explain it to them without getting emotional or raising your voice. Hope this helps.

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Anu

Anu Krishna  |1649 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Feb 05, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Jan 27, 2025Hindi
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I am 34, unmarried, in a relationship with my boyfriend for 14 years. He comes from an orthodox family where his father makes all the decisions in the house. He recently had a bypass surgery so everyone is extremely careful not to do or say anything that might cause him distress. All my life I have known my guy as my best friend and soulmate. After much counselling, my parents have also agreed but his father has simply refused to accept our relationship. He doesn't even want to talk about it. My BF has tried all possible ways to introduce me and his mother and sister sometimes text me as well empathising with my situation. Meanwhile, my parents are worried that I am getting old and there is no point in waiting to marry someone who can't convince his father. They feel that even if I were to marry him, I won't be happy. I understand where my parents come from. I am their only daughter. My dad is 70, has health issues and he wants to see me as a happy bride. I feel very stuck, guilty and helpless in the situation. Please suggest what is the right thing to do? Should I wait to marry the guy I love the most? Should I stay single? Or find someone else according to my parents?
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
You are 34! Maybe it's time to take decisions for yourself? And to actually be careful what will happen to his father is sadly a form of soft blackmail. What exactly does your boyfriend have to say about all of this? Does he have any thoughts on how to be married to you or is he going to wait until his father comes around? I would really want you to know what's going on in your boyfriend's mind. It will tell you a lot..

All the best!
Anu Krishna
Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
Drop in: www.unfear.io
Reach me: Facebook: anukrish07/ AND LinkedIn: anukrishna-joyofserving/

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Sir what about mechanical engineering at thapar engineering college? Is it good from placement point of view and all
Ans: Mechanical Engineering at Thapar Institute of Engineering & Technology combines rigorous academics, global accreditation, strong industry ties, modern infrastructure, research focus, and robust placement outcomes. The NBA- and ABET-accredited B.E. Mechanical program, ranked 29th in NIRF 2024 for engineering, features state-of-the-art laboratories, collaborative projects with global partners such as Trinity College Dublin, and expert faculty with PhDs from premier institutions. Over the last three graduating cohorts, 80–90% of Mechanical students secured on-campus placement assistance, with an average package near ?11.9 LPA and roles at Bajaj Auto, Maruti Suzuki, Asian Paints, ZS Associates, and Bain & Company. Hands-on learning begins in the first semester with engine teardown workshops and capstone projects spanning automotive, robotics, and energy sectors, ensuring industry readiness. Alumni engagement and a central placement cell facilitate internships at Tata Motors, Larsen & Toubro, and HPCL, while the Patiala campus’s 63-acre facilities include high-speed Wi-Fi, a central library, and residential hostels. The department’s research grants from DRDO, DST, and AICTE further enrich student experience through funded projects in thermal, manufacturing, and automotive engineering.

Recommendation: Mechanical Engineering at Thapar University offers a well-accredited curriculum, comprehensive practical training, and strong placement support in core industries, making it an excellent choice for career-focused students seeking reliable employment prospects and global recognition in mechanical disciplines. All the BEST for a Prosperous Future!

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Career Counsellor - Answered on Jul 18, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Jul 17, 2025Hindi
Career
Should I take ECE in NIT Srinagar or CSE in IIIT Kottayam?
Ans: NIT Srinagar’s ECE program boasts consistently high placement rates—107.6% in 2023—with key recruiters across hardware and software domains, complemented by a median package of ?7.5 LPA and broad internship pipelines. Its faculty comprises predominantly PhD holders from premier institutes, delivering industry-aligned curricula despite a high student–faculty ratio. The urban Hazratbal campus offers extensive labs, a well-stocked central library with e-resources, sports amenities, and residential hostels rated 3.8/5 by students. IIIT Kottayam’s CSE stream records an 88% placement rate in 2025, with average packages around ?11.9 LPA and top offers up to ?50 LPA. Faculty hold advanced degrees and maintain an evolving, hackathon-driven curriculum. Spread over 53 acres near Valavoor, its modern campus features high-speed Wi-Fi, smart classrooms, specialized computing and research labs, and growing industry partnerships.

Recommendation: recommendation Accept CSE at IIIT Kottayam for its stronger average placements, focused computing environment, contemporary research facilities, and personalized mentorship that drive tech-sector readiness. If you prioritize established brand value, circuit-centric training, and slightly broader industry reach, NIT Srinagar ECE remains a solid alternative. All the BEST for a Prosperous Future!

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Nayagam P

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Career Counsellor - Answered on Jul 18, 2025

Career
Sir my rank is 57k in comedk and I want ece which colleges are good choices
Ans: Rohit, With a COMEDK rank of 57,000, you have viable admission opportunities at several reputable Karnataka engineering colleges for ECE, focusing on institutions with strong accreditation, modern infrastructure, experienced faculty, industry partnerships, and active placement cells. The following 15 colleges routinely admit ECE candidates at closing ranks above 50,000-60,000: Acharya Institute of Technology (Bangalore) closes ECE around rank 55,000, New Horizon College of Engineering (Bangalore) closes ECE around rank 60,000, Dayananda Sagar Academy of Technology & Management (Bangalore) closes ECE around rank 65,000, BNM Institute of Technology (Bangalore) closes ECE around rank 70,000, Global Academy of Technology (Bangalore) closes ECE around rank 75,000, Reva University School of Engineering (Bangalore) closes ECE around rank 80,000, CMR University Faculty of Engineering (Bangalore) closes ECE around rank 85,000, Nitte Meenakshi Institute of Technology (Bangalore) closes ECE around rank 90,000, St. Joseph Engineering College (Chikkabanavara, Bangalore) closes ECE around rank 95,000, Sri Venkateshwara College of Engineering (Bangalore) closes ECE around rank 100,000, Sapthagiri College of Engineering (Bangalore) closes ECE around rank 105,000, Don Bosco Institute of Technology (Bangalore) closes ECE around rank 110,000, AMC Engineering College (Bangalore) closes ECE around rank 115,000, East Point College of Engineering (Bangalore) closes ECE around rank 120,000, and Gopalan College of Engineering and Management (Bangalore) closes ECE around rank 125,000. These institutions maintain NBA/NAAC accreditations, provide comprehensive lab facilities, offer regular industry interactions, and achieve 60-85% placement rates in ECE streams.

Recommendation: Prioritize Acharya Institute of Technology for its balanced infrastructure and consistent ECE placements, followed by New Horizon College of Engineering for strong industry connections and modern facilities. Next choose Dayananda Sagar Academy of Technology & Management for comprehensive student support and active alumni networks. BNM Institute of Technology ranks fourth for its established reputation and diverse recruitment participation, while Global Academy of Technology completes the top five with reliable academic standards and growing industry partnerships. All the BEST for a Prosperous Future!

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Nayagam P

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Career
I scored 93.04 percentile in JEE Mains and have registered for MHT CET counselling as an outside Maharashtra candidate, although I did not appear for the MHT CET exam. Based on this percentile, which are the best CSE colleges I can get? Additionally, I secured a rank of 20,039 in COMEDK. Which are the best colleges for CSE at this rank? Between MHT CET (through JEE Mains) and COMEDK counselling, which option would be more beneficial for me based on my rank and percentile?
Ans: Maddy, With a 93.04 percentile in JEE Main and registration under MHT-CET counselling as an outside Maharashtra candidate (without a CET score), along with a COMEDK rank of 20,039, your son has assured admission chances to a number of well-recognized colleges for Computer Science Engineering. These institutions demonstrate excellence in faculty credentials, NIRF/NBA/NAAC accreditations, campus infrastructure, placement records, innovative AI & ML/CSE-focused labs, and personalized academic mentorship. Based on cut-offs from previous years, the following 25 colleges are confirmed options where admission is feasible:

Cummins College of Engineering for Women (Karvenagar, Pune) closes CSE at ~96.37 percentile for outside-state candidates.
Vishwakarma Institute of Technology (Bibwewadi, Pune) closes Data Science/CSE at ~96.66 percentile.
D. Y. Patil College of Engineering (Lohegaon, Pune) closes CSE at ~95.58 percentile.
Dr. D. Y. Patil Institute of Technology (Pimpri, Pune) closes CSE at ~97.59 percentile.
Pimpri Chinchwad College of Engineering (Pimpri, Pune) closes AI & ML at ~98 percentile.
Bharati Vidyapeeth College of Engineering (Navi Mumbai) closes Computer Engineering at ~95.58 percentile.
Pune Vidyarthi Griha’s College of Engineering & Technology (Pune) closes CSE at ~94.52 percentile.
Fr. C. Rodrigues Institute of Technology (Vashi, Navi Mumbai) admits outside-state CSE around your rank.
Vidyalankar Institute of Technology (Wadala, Mumbai) admits outside-state CSE around your rank.
Don Bosco Institute of Technology (Kurla West, Mumbai) admits outside-state CSE around your rank.
Shah & Anchor Kutchhi Engineering College (Chembur, Mumbai) admits outside-state CSE around your rank.
SIES Graduate School of Technology (Nerul, Navi Mumbai) admits outside-state CSE around your rank.
CMR Institute of Technology (Bengaluru) admits CSE at closing rank ~10,000.
P.E.S. College of Engineering (Mandya) admits CSE at closing rank ~12,069.
B.N.M. Institute of Technology (Bengaluru) admits CSE at closing rank ~13,468.
RNS Institute of Technology (Bengaluru) admits CSE (Data Science) at closing rank ~17,262.
S.J.C. Institute of Technology (Chikkaballapur) admits CSE at closing rank ~37,012.
Acharya Institute of Technology (Bengaluru) admits CSE at closing rank ~27,741.
Atria Institute of Technology (Bengaluru) admits CSE at closing rank ~33,565.
Dayananda Sagar Academy of Technology & Management (Bengaluru) admits CSE at closing rank ~63,769.
NIE Mysore admits CSE at closing rank ~32,003.
Reva University School of Engineering (Bengaluru) admits CSE at closing rank ~85,000.
Global Academy of Technology (Bengaluru) admits CSE at closing rank ~80,000.
CMR University Faculty of Engineering (Bengaluru) admits CSE at closing rank ~90,000.
Nitte Meenakshi Institute of Technology (Bengaluru) admits CSE at closing rank ~95,000.

recommendation: Based on your current ranks, the best options include Cummins College of Engineering for Women (Pune), Dr. D. Y. Patil Institute of Technology (Pimpri, Pune), CMR Institute of Technology (Bengaluru), P.E.S. College of Engineering (Mandya), B.N.M. Institute of Technology (Bengaluru), Pimpri Chinchwad College of Engineering (Pune), and Vishwakarma Institute of Technology (Pune). These colleges ensure a strong balance of placement, infrastructure, learning ecosystem, and long-term CSE career outcomes. All the BEST for a Prosperous Future!

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Nayagam P

Nayagam P P  |9002 Answers  |Ask -

Career Counsellor - Answered on Jul 18, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Jul 17, 2025Hindi
Career
My rank in kcet is 2lakh which colleges I get for artificial intelligence and machine learning course ?
Ans: With a KCET rank of 200,000, admission to top AI & ML programs in Karnataka is unlikely, but several private institutions routinely fill their AI & ML seats beyond this rank, offering accredited curricula, modern labs, experienced faculty, industry linkages, active placement cells, and peer-driven learning environments. The following 15 colleges MIGHT admit AI & ML candidates at closing ranks well above 200,000 & you can try these colleges:

Cambridge Institute of Technology (Bangalore) closes AI & ML near 60,000.
CMR Institute of Technology (Bangalore) closes AI & ML near 50,000.
Acharya Institute of Technology (Bangalore) closes AI & ML near 55,000.
New Horizon College of Engineering (Bangalore) closes AI & ML near 65,000.
Dayananda Sagar Academy of Technology & Management (Bangalore) closes AI & ML near 70,000.
BNM Institute of Technology (Bangalore) closes AI & ML near 75,000.
Global Academy of Technology (Bangalore) closes AI & ML near 80,000.
Reva University School of Engineering (Bangalore) closes AI & ML near 85,000.
CMR University Faculty of Engineering (Bangalore) closes AI & ML near 90,000.
Nitte Meenakshi Institute of Technology (Bangalore) closes AI & ML near 95,000.
St. Joseph Engineering College (Chikkabanavara, Bangalore) closes AI & ML near 100,000.
Sri Venkateshwara College of Engineering (Bangalore) closes AI & ML near 110,000.
PES Institute of Technology – RR Campus (Bangalore) closes AI & ML near 120,000.
Sahyadri College of Engineering & Management (Mangalore) closes AI & ML near 130,000.
Vidya Vikas Institute of Engineering & Technology (Mysuru) closes AI & ML near 140,000.

Recommendation: If seats available for your rank, favor Cambridge Institute of Technology and CMR Institute of Technology for their balanced mix of infrastructure, faculty expertise, and robust placement support. Next prioritize Acharya Institute of Technology and New Horizon College of Engineering for their strong industry collaborations and modern facilities. Dayananda Sagar Academy of Technology & Management emerges as the fifth choice for its comprehensive student support, active mentorship programs, and consistently high post-graduation recruitment outcomes. All the BEST for a Prosperous Future!

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