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Ravi Mittal  |250 Answers  |Ask -

Dating, Relationships Expert - Answered on Jun 27, 2024

Ravi Mittal is an expert on dating and relationships.
He founded QuackQuack, an online dating platform, in 2010 with just two people. Today, it has over 20 million users in India.... more
Asked by Anonymous - Jun 22, 2024Hindi

I met guy on arrange marriage set up. We both are divorcee. We both talked for more than hour. I like the way he explained his work n personal. After the meeting my father called him whats his opinion on this he didn't respond, but i messaged for some doubts for technical things because we both work in same sector and i wanted to learn those new technology. For me he replies properly what i should think? Does he like me? Or its just he is helping me

Ans: Dear Anonymous,

It is difficult to tell what is going on in someone's mind and it is better not to assume. The best thing to do here would be to ask him directly. You are both adults. There is no harm in asking him if he likes you or if he sees any future with you. It would help you avoid misinterpretation and waste your time.

Best Wishes.

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Anu Krishna  |1040 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Apr 13, 2022

Hi Anu, my story is quite big. I am 43 and I love a man of my caste who is 52. He is not married and my father had showed me his profile in 2006 for marriage. Those days I was not interested in marriage and so I rejected him. I saw his profile in March 2019 in matrimony and sent him interest and he gave me a reply. I fell in love with his profile in 2020 and further gave him reply on his mobile. I went to see him in Pune in 2020 October. Since then we have only been chatting on WhatsApp. When I asked for commitment in Feb 2021, he said his sister is not keeping well. Then he lost his father in August 2021. Earlier in 2020 he used to call me and we used to talk for hours. It all stopped in 2021 February when his sister fell sick. Now I stopped messaging him but he still keeps sending me some or other forwards. He says he wants to marry me (He said this Jan last year when I asked him if he is interested in marriage) but this year has been tough. I am really fed up of the delay. I still love him very much. He is very intelligent and professionally qualified and has good hobbies -- he is a Himalayan trekker and has sent me pics of his trek. He also encourages me to do many things but I am bored of the delay. Should I trust him and wait for him?

Dear VG,

It looks likely that when you sent him your interest request, your feelings were from 2006. But hey, everyone has grown older and wiser since then.

Also, to expect him to have the same level of interest that you have, isn’t wise as he has led a different life to yours.

What happens is when we start our lives together when we are younger, we merge on a lot of ideals and thoughts.

When the same marriage/companionship/relationship happens when we are older, having had separate experiences and a different life, we might not have much in common in terms of thoughts and way of being in life.

Given that, have an honest chat with him face to face, and express what you want out of this connection.

Give him time to process his own life, his needs, his wants, his priorities and then get back to you.

If he is clearly not into this, no point waiting for him and tugging at your heart strings.

So the only way that I feel is to have a mature face to face talk where both of you have space to be assertive and communicate boldly. It will help both of you to decide what’s best.

All the best!

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Kanchan Rai  |281 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Dec 26, 2023

Asked by Anonymous - Dec 18, 2023Hindi
I am currently in my late 30s and i am unmarried. Currently i am chatting with a person whom i found on a matrimonial site but he is an introvert so i am.But is is extremely introvert he is not opening up completely its going to be one month since we are chatting. He calls me everyday.But he talks very formally.Does he has interest in me we are going to meet for a second time in a few days.Pls help.Should i marry him?
Ans: It's positive that you've been in communication for a month and that he makes an effort to call you every day. However, it's important to recognize that everyone has their own communication style, and being introverted doesn't necessarily mean a lack of interest. Some people take time to open up, especially in the early stages of getting to know someone. Introverts often prefer to think before they speak and may be more reserved in expressing their thoughts and feelings. If he is consistently reaching out and maintaining contact, it could be a sign of interest, even if the communication seems formal. Meeting in person can provide valuable insights into his personality. People may be more comfortable and expressive in person than they are online or over the phone. Pay attention to his body language, facial expressions, and overall demeanor during your second meeting. Encourage open communication by asking open-ended questions that invite him to share more about himself. This can help create a more relaxed and natural conversation If you feel comfortable, you might express to him that you would like to get to know him better and that you appreciate open and honest communication. This can create an environment where both of you feel more comfortable sharing. Before making any decisions about marriage, it's crucial to have open and honest conversations about your values, goals, and expectations for the future. Take the time to understand each other's personalities and communication styles, and assess whether you share common values and interests.

Remember, the decision to marry someone is significant, and it's important to feel a genuine connection and mutual understanding. If you have any doubts or concerns, it's advisable to address them before making any commitments.

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Shalini Singh  |99 Answers  |Ask -

Dating Coach - Answered on Apr 17, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Apr 16, 2024Hindi
Hi Mam, I wanted to keep it anonymous. I am 26years old female, my parents are looking for a suitable alliance for me. They came with a proposal from a guy's family and they wanted to have a formal meet in a temple. We all met in the temple the guy's family looked good they talked in a nice manner myself and the guy had a seperate conversation. Before going his parents told that he is an introvert and wont speak much. while we went to talk i was the one asking him questions and he only replied for that and inturn asked me the same question. I am an extrovert so i did the most of the talking part i didnt wanted to make the convo boring without answering anything so i was coming up with new questions. We spoke for around 10-15mins and then went to the place where our parents were sitting, his parents asked me to tell the answer immediately but i told them that i will tell the decision once i reach home. His parnets talked to him seperately and asked him the decision and he said yes it seems. We left the temple then, after two days when my parents asked me what was my decision i told them that though he is a nice guy i cant see him as my partner and if were to marry him that would be for your happiness i will not be able to marry him whole heartedly was my answer, then my parents spoke to his parents and told that if you want to talk to him again meet him somewhere and then talk and decide. I thought okay lets give it a try and said yes, we met after a week in a cafe. He initially asked me about my work and then i asked the same after that again he didnt speak much, i always wanted my partner to speak and have fun conversation with me. Though its our second meet i wanted him to atleast talk little bit that the first one but he didnt do much talking part. I was again talking and we left after 30mins. My parents were trying to convince me a lot, i told them that my intuition doesn't work with this guy(I am firm believer of intuition i have been doing things based on my intuition only) but my parents were trying to convince me telling you dont know what you want we will only know what you want, you will be happy if you marry this guy. But my soul doesnt want to marry this guy it seems im not able to accept my parents convincing words. If i were to marry him that will only be my parents choice and not my choice. What should i do now?
Ans: Well, this conversation requires a discussion - but I will attempt responding based on what you have shared. You should know introverts take time in opening up...and that should be respected. Its possible when you know each other, he may still not open up with others, but with you he is talkative. What is bothersome here is you intuition, your 6th sense - which makes you uncomfortable - question it, why do you think that is the case. If I was in a similar situation I would have asked to meet this gentleman 3-4 times more - and would observe more and talk less :)....maybe listen more and ask fewer questions. If you do meet him ask him what is making him say yes. Let him know that it bothers you that he responds in short sentences. But after that play games together - from board games to games like 3 things you wish to have in your partner to 3 qualities you wish you partner works upon. You need to answer this as well. Ask him his 3 strengths and share yours, share personality traits you need to work on and ask his.....keep the conversations light and fun....and then question your intuition again...and if it does not agree then do what works for you. Make parents sit down and explain it to them without getting emotional or raising your voice. Hope this helps.

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Ramalingam Kalirajan  |4822 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Jul 16, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Jul 03, 2024Hindi
Sir.. I am NRE I want to start SWP plan after 5 years 2030 with 1 cr. If I invest this 5 years stocks or SIP after 5 years that money I have to again invest in SWP in this case I have to pay the Capital gain tax before transfer the money from SIP orstocks. My plan I will start 10 L with SWP plan and every year's I can put 20 L in SWP and after 5 years I can start the with drawal 0.5 %.SWP plan I donot have clear idea. Need expert advaise SWP can I start now and increase my investment in same plan yearly?
Ans: An SWP allows you to withdraw a fixed amount regularly from your investment. This provides a steady income flow while keeping your remaining investment growing.

Investing for 5 Years
You can invest in a mix of equity and debt mutual funds. This balance will provide growth and stability.

Equity Mutual Funds
Invest in large-cap, mid-cap, and small-cap funds. They offer growth potential over five years.

Debt Mutual Funds
These funds are less volatile and provide stability. Consider investing part of your funds here.

Capital Gains Tax
When you sell stocks or mutual funds, you must pay capital gains tax. This applies before you transfer funds to an SWP.

Long-Term Capital Gains (LTCG)
For equity, gains over Rs. 1 lakh are taxed at 10% if held for more than a year. For debt, the tax is 20% with indexation if held for more than three years.

Short-Term Capital Gains (STCG)
For equity, gains are taxed at 15% if held for less than a year. For debt, gains are added to your income and taxed as per your slab.

Starting SWP with Rs. 1 Crore
After five years, you can move Rs. 1 crore into an SWP. Start withdrawing 0.5% monthly.

If you start with Rs. 10 lakhs, withdraw Rs. 50,000 per month. Increase your investment yearly by adding Rs. 20 lakhs.

Increasing Investments Annually
Yes, you can increase your SWP investment yearly. This can help grow your corpus and increase your withdrawal amount over time.

Final Insights
Invest in a balanced mix of equity and debt mutual funds. Understand the capital gains tax implications. Start SWP with Rs. 1 crore and withdraw 0.5% monthly. Increase your investment yearly for a growing income.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,


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DISCLAIMER: The content of this post by the expert is the personal view of the rediffGURU. Investment in securities market are subject to market risks. Read all the related document carefully before investing. The securities quoted are for illustration only and are not recommendatory. Users are advised to pursue the information provided by the rediffGURU only as a source of information and as a point of reference and to rely on their own judgement when making a decision. RediffGURUS is an intermediary as per India's Information Technology Act.


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