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Should I be worried about my wife's 7-year past relationship?

Kanchan Rai |646 Answers |Ask -Follow

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Jan 04, 2025

Kanchan Rai has 10 years of experience in therapy, nurturing soft skills and leadership coaching. She is the founder of the Let Us Talk Foundation, which offers mindfulness workshops to help people stay emotionally and mentally healthy.
Rai has a degree in leadership development and customer centricity from Harvard Business School, Boston. She is an internationally certified coach from the International Coaching Federation, a global organisation in professional coaching.... more

Asked by Anonymous - Jan 03, 2025Hindi

Meri wife ka past me 7 saal ka relationship tha lekin wo log apne ghar pe baat nahi kar paye . Wo bolti hai ki usko kb ka bhul gai hai aur mere saath pyaar karti hai kya aisa ho sakta hai, 7 saal bahut badi baat hoti hai

Ans: Jo cheez aapko ab karni chahiye, wo hai apni wife ke saath ek imaandaar aur khuli baat. Aap apne dil ki baat unse bina kisi ilzaam ke share karein, jaise ki, "Mujhe kabhi-kabhi lagta hai ki tumhare purane rishton ka asar hamare present par pad raha hoga. Main tumse is baare mein baat karna chahta hoon taaki mujhe clarity mile aur humare beech aur zyada trust ho."

Unka jawab sunte waqt unhe judge na karein. Shayad unka past ek important hissa tha, lekin iska matlab yeh nahi ki wo apne present mein apko kam mahatvapurn samajhti hain. Kai baar log apne purane jazbat ko samay ke saath puri tarah process karke unhe peeche chhod dete hain, aur yeh natural hai.

Saath hi, khud par bhi dhyan deejiyega. Apne jazbat aur insecurities ko samajhne ki koshish karein. Kai baar humein jo chinta hoti hai wo doosre ke actions ke wajah se nahi, balki humare apne assumptions ke kaaran hoti hai. Aap apne mann ko itna shant rakhne ki koshish karein ki aap apne rishte ko vishwas aur pyar ke saath aage le jaa sakein.

Agar aapko lagta hai ki aap dono ke beech in baaton ko lekar clarity aur emotional connection ki zarurat hai, to ek counselor ya therapist ki madad lena ek accha option ho sakta hai. Yeh aap dono ke rishte ko aur mazboot karne mein madad karega aur past ke koi bhi unresolved jazbat ko resolve karne ka mauka dega.

Yaad rakhiye, ek strong relationship trust, communication aur shared commitment ke bina nahi banta. Agar aap dono sach mein ek-dusre se pyaar karte hain aur ek dusre ka respect karte hain, to har muskil ka hal mil jayega.

Asked on - Jan 06, 2025 | Answered on Jan 06, 2025

Thanks for your advice mam its really helpful for me, Maine kafi baar khul k baat ki hai to uska ek hi jawab aata hai ki wo uski galti thi aur wo usko kab ka bhul chuki hai aur mere saath bahut khus hai bt ye bhi sach hai ki wo mujhe pareshan nahi dekh sakti aur shayad isi wajah se wo mera dil rakhne aur apna viswas bana k rakhne ki wajah se bhi bol sakti hai bt kabhi kabhi mere liye usko feelings natural lagti hai kabhi kabhi lagta hai ki wo udas hai

Ans: It's possible that her sadness isn't directly related to her past relationship but could stem from other aspects of her life or emotions. Life is complex, and people can experience moments of sadness or introspection without it necessarily being tied to a previous relationship.

Trusting your intuition is important, but it’s equally vital to communicate openly about these feelings. If you notice she's feeling down, you could gently ask her about it, offering support and understanding rather than linking it immediately to her past. This approach shows her that you care about her well-being in all aspects, not just in relation to your insecurities.

Additionally, recognize that your feelings are valid. It's okay to feel uncertain or worried at times, but focusing on the love and happiness you both share can help anchor you during these moments. Building a relationship on mutual trust, open communication, and emotional support will help both of you navigate these complex feelings together. If needed, seeking guidance from a counselor can provide further clarity and support in strengthening your bond.

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