Hi Ma'am, I am 49 years Old. Had a relationship with a girl in my college days. Broke up very quickly due to some family pressures. The relation turned very sour . We are distantly related and it happened that we encountered each other but never spoke. Recently she came across my father and talked to him very nicely giving my reference. I feel like contacting her just as a friend . I am happily married for 22 years with a 18 year old son. Should i approach her as I have her contact number. Please guide

Ans: Dear Amar,
Please DO NOT indulge in relationships at your work place even if the meetings are outside. Unnecessary complications...
What was the yellow rose all about? Do you go around giving roses to every lady that you meet? She surely picked on it that you possibly have feelings for her and hence is maintaining her distance...
Just because she came to a hotel to have coffee, how did you assume that she is interested in you? Making sense, now? Your assumptions are possibly working against you...

All the best!
Anu Krishna
Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
Drop in: www.unfear.io
Reach me: Facebook: anukrish07/ AND LinkedIn: anukrishna-joyofserving/

Ans: Dear Amar,

It sounds to me like you have mistaken her friendship or probable professional interest for personal. Since your yellow rose was not taken well by her, the situation is pretty self-explanatory. She is not interested in you in the way you assumed she was. Also, discussing a few personal matters with a colleague does not necessarily mean someone has romantic feelings for you. Please understand that. As for why she came to a hotel to meet you, I can't comment on that without knowing the context or hearing from both sides. Moreover, you are married with a child. Even if someone was interested in you, is it not immoral to indulge them? I am not sure how I can help you here other than pointing out the obvious. You are married and your colleague does not have the feelings that you thought she did.

If she is not speaking to you, it is best to keep your distance. She has made her stance clear. Trying to convince her would be crossing boundaries. A 'no' does not always have to be said in words.

Best Wishes.

Ans: Dear Anonymous,
You are trying to search for a wife and a family in the other lady and her children; something that you are unable to find in your own home.
How much longer do you want to live two parallel lives? Decide whether you want to continue with your marriage and work at making it work...OR find solace with another lady and her family. 8 years is a long time BUT any relationship that comes out of a need ceases to exist when the need is over or gone. What will happen when this cleaning staff lady stops wanting your money or attention? Will you then jump into another relationship?
How you go ahead in this relationship is something only you will know. Someone is bound to get hurt...Also, you seem to definitely care about family. How will they react to all of this?
Consider a few important things before you jump to any conclusions...

All the best!
Anu Krishna
Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
Drop in: www.unfear.io
Reach me: Facebook: anukrish07/ AND LinkedIn: anukrishna-joyofserving/