hello Ravi, I am 46 yrs old Male ,I work for a corporate. My wife is 42 yrs is not interested in sex & romantic life we have 2 kids. lately I am attracted to a married lady 53 yrs .she is separated & stays with her son . I like her the most. how do i convince her for sex. we go outing she fells good when i m with her. she is short tempered how to analyze if she likes sex plz assist .

Ans: Dear Anonymous,
Sexual compatibility between couples if often a miracle. So, if there is a clear mismatch, there is also clearly a reason behind it. You stated it yourself: Lack of foreplay and your wife being overweight. So, take care of the foreplay part...what stops you from indulging in active foreplay that will get her going? There is no need to jump into the act and then complain about her not being interested in sex.
- Instead change course and pay attention to foreplay.
- Also, indulge in a lot of non-sexual forms of intimacy like cuddling, hugging etc that helps her connect with you at an emotional level and this could give way to the act.
- Pay her compliments and every once in a while surprise her with little gifts. It validates her presence and importance within the marriage.
The point that I am making is: shift focus on non-sexual intimacy first before jumping into the 'sex' part. You will see that, that bonding helps sexual compatibility.

The other part on her being overweight could also be a challenge as it can affect the way she perceives herself besides ill-health that can impact sex life greatly. Gently coax her into working out/exercising everyday with a good nutrition plan which will go a long way in not just physical fitness but an overall well-being in all areas of life. If it helps, the two of you can look at this together and make 'couple goals' to fitness and compatibility. It can keep both of you motivated and also encourage a good bond as well.

And oh! Please do not count the number of times you actually have sex. There's no competition and no medals awarded...Please bond better first...

All the best!

Ans: Dear Anonymous,
Some medications do have side effects that can affect sex lives. This is something that you and your wife can discuss with a doctor who possibly may look at what can be done.
Also hormonal changes after during and after menopause shows a decline in sexual activity in many women. There are other forms of sexual intimacy that you and your wife can share. Discuss with her without sounding rigid only about sex being the important topic and make her the center of the discussion. It might help her to know that you still care and love her and she maybe more open to actually see what the challenges are.

All the best!
Anu Krishna
Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
Drop in: www.unfear.io
Reach me: Facebook: anukrish07/ AND LinkedIn: anukrishna-joyofserving/

Ans: Dear Navin,
If your child has a problem, what would you do? You would talk to the child, understand, reason out and then suggest something that might work, right?
You two need to do the same thing with one another; figure out what has made her lose interest in physical intimacy...what seemed to interest her earlier isn't working now...
Talk, talk and listen as well...it will surely be a way to rekindle the bond between the two of you and also increase emotional connection which is something that women need to be physically intimate...
Trying the same things will only give you the same results; you want the outcome to be different, then try what you have already not...

All the best!
Anu Krishna
Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
Drop in: www.unfear.io
Reach me: Facebook: anukrish07/ AND LinkedIn: anukrishna-joyofserving/