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Anu

Anu Krishna  |1664 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on May 16, 2024

Anu Krishna is a mind coach and relationship expert.
The co-founder of Unfear Changemakers LLP, she has received her neuro linguistic programming training from National Federation of NeuroLinguistic Programming, USA, and her energy work specialisation from the Institute for Inner Studies, Manila.
She is an executive member of the Indian Association of Adolescent Health.... more
Asked by Anonymous - May 14, 2024Hindi
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Relationship

Hello This is Mr kumar S/o Smt Rani, I need advise for My mother, she get angry often, she don't speak out with us openly what is going in her mind but she burst out once in a week or somtimes after two weeks, one thing that i know is that she is obsessed with child from me and my wife, one day She burst on my mother-in-law for us not having child. She is very obsessed with kitchen as well if my grandmother try to cook something in the kitchen she will come in between and start verbal fight with her sometimes they both get physical as well, If i say that lets go to doctor she denies. She says she is alright, she just need love. She is very competitive with my siblings, she says she want child before my cousin. Me and my wife are not ready for that yet can you suggest some solution. Should we take some doctors

Ans: Dear Anonymous,
The choice of when you want to have a child must be left to you and your wife. The rest of the parade can have their own dreams around it, drama around it and add characters to that drama as well.
You choose if wish to be part of that drama or not...If NO< then IGNORE what's happening...And wll, your mother's temper tantrums can also be hers alone...It's like you ignore a child for throwing a tantrum in public, after a few times, the child learns that it has no effect on the parent!
Do the same with your mother...Her anger is only her way of complaining about something that she is unhappy about! You will have to teach her to express herself better and in a calm manner but the start step is to ignore, so that she stops and notices something different and then she may be willing to look within and change...
So, IGNORE the drama for a while...

All the best!
Anu Krishna
Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
Drop in: www.unfear.io
Reach me: Facebook: anukrish07/ AND LinkedIn: anukrishna-joyofserving/

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Kanchan

Kanchan Rai  |623 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Oct 24, 2023

Asked by Anonymous - Oct 23, 2023Hindi
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Relationship
Because of my mother my married life is falling apart.. my mother does something purposely which hurts my wife and then quarrel starts. I pleaded my mother not to do so many times but she doesn't understand what we are loosing. I don't want to loose any of them family. Pls advice what should I do.
Ans: I'm sorry to hear that you're facing such a challenging situation. Balancing relationships with both your mother and your spouse can be difficult, but it's essential to find a way to create harmony. Here's some advice on how to handle this situation:

Communication: Open, honest, and empathetic communication is crucial. Sit down with your mother and your spouse separately and discuss the issue. Let them both know how much you care about them and the impact their conflicts are having on your life.
Set Boundaries: Clearly define boundaries with your mother and your spouse. Discuss what is acceptable behavior and what is not. Make it clear that you expect respect and kindness toward one another.
Counseling or Mediation: If direct communication doesn't resolve the issue, consider involving a neutral third party, such as a family therapist or counselor, to mediate the conversation. They can provide guidance and facilitate a constructive dialogue.
Prioritize Your Spouse: Your spouse should be your primary concern when it comes to your immediate family. Make sure your wife knows that you support her and are taking her concerns seriously.
Support Your Mother's Transition: If your mother's actions are rooted in a sense of loss or fear of losing you, reassure her that you still love her and that your relationship with your spouse doesn't diminish your love for her.
Time and Patience: Resolving family conflicts can take time. Be patient and persistent in your efforts to mend the relationships.
Self-Reflection: Reflect on your role in the situation and ensure you are not unintentionally contributing to the conflicts. Sometimes, small changes in your behavior can make a big difference.
Establish Separate Boundaries: If necessary, you might consider setting boundaries that involve keeping your mother and spouse apart if they can't peacefully coexist.
Remember, it's crucial to strike a balance and prioritize your spouse and immediate family. While maintaining a relationship with your mother is important, your marital relationship should come first. Seek professional help if the situation doesn't improve, as a therapist can provide guidance tailored to your specific circumstances.

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Kanchan

Kanchan Rai  |623 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Dec 29, 2024

Relationship
Hi I am a married man with 2.4 years old daughter and my wife regularly fights with me and puts an allegation on me and blames me a thief and says I take out all her things and she also abuses my mother and at present my mother is staying alone some where and says that my mother should not come back and she fights with me in front of my daughter and uses abusive language and what ever is the situation she brings my mother in between the conversation and starts blaming me. She has thrown her out of the house and always keeps on fighting. I have a fear, that she might leave me or my daughter as I cannot stay without my daughter and she keeps on saying that I do not want to stay with you and after a heated moment she turns normal and again starts abusing me and my mother, and due to this I am not able to concentrate on my job as I keep on thinking all the times about what will happen. Kindly suggest me what should I do as I do not want to keep my daughter’s future on risk as she always keeps on saying that her brother will take care of her and her brother says he will take a different house for her somewhere else and will keep her there as I would also want to highlight that her brothers wife relation is also not good and she does not allows my wife to enter into her house and my mother is law is also disturbed. Kindly suggest me a solution...?
Ans: Dear Amit,
First, recognize that you need to establish a calm and safe environment for your daughter. Witnessing regular fights and hearing abusive language can affect her emotional development. Ensuring her well-being should be your top priority. When disagreements arise, try to de-escalate the situation, even if that means temporarily walking away to avoid heated exchanges. Protecting her from these conflicts will help create a more stable atmosphere.

Your wife's behavior—shifting between anger and normalcy—indicates that there might be underlying issues driving her actions. It could be unresolved frustrations, unmet expectations, or even external stressors affecting her emotions. While her way of expressing these feelings is not constructive, it's important to find a way to understand what’s fueling her anger. Having an open, non-confrontational conversation during a calm moment can be a starting point. Express your concerns about the impact of these fights on your relationship and your daughter, and make it clear that you want to work together to find solutions.

It may also be helpful to involve a neutral third party, such as a counselor or family mediator. A professional can provide a safe space for both of you to express your grievances and work on resolving them constructively. It sounds like trust and respect have eroded in your relationship, and rebuilding them requires mutual effort and clear communication.

At the same time, focus on managing your stress and mental health. The constant worry about the future and your daughter's well-being is understandably affecting your ability to concentrate on work. Practice self-care through activities that help you stay grounded, whether it’s exercise, meditation, or speaking with a trusted friend or counselor about your feelings. Taking care of yourself will help you approach these challenges with a clearer mind.

If your wife continues to threaten to leave or involve her family in ways that disrupt your peace, it’s important to consider all legal and practical options to protect your rights and ensure the best for your daughter. Consult a legal advisor to understand your rights as a father and the steps you can take to secure your daughter’s future if separation becomes unavoidable.

Ultimately, resolving this situation will require patience, empathy, and, most importantly, a focus on what’s best for your child. If both you and your wife are willing to work on the relationship, there is hope for improvement. However, if the environment remains toxic despite your efforts, prioritizing your daughter's emotional and physical safety should guide your decisions moving forward.

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Kanchan

Kanchan Rai  |623 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Sep 23, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Sep 22, 2024Hindi
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Relationship
Hello madam , my mother is too much obsessed with kid from me and my wife it's been 6 months of our marriage, she always compares with my siblings, but my situation is different but she is not understanding, I have already told her that I will let you know when we will plan please don't force but she is not understanding, now this month my wife got periods she went so upset and started blaming my wife that you must be taking some pills, we will go to doctor for checkup , Madam please advise how to handle her I am fully tired of her I don't know what to do I am not able to focus on my work
Ans: What’s really crucial here is that you and your wife stay united in how you handle this pressure. It’s essential that your wife knows you are fully supportive of her, and that you both are on the same page regarding your family planning decisions. If she feels that you’re standing by her side, it can help alleviate some of the stress she’s likely feeling from your mother’s constant comments and expectations.

When it comes to your mother, it may be time to have a firmer, more honest conversation. Instead of just telling her that you’ll let her know when you’re ready to plan, it might be helpful to share a bit more about how this pressure is affecting you and your wife. Explain to her that while you appreciate her desire to become a grandmother, her constant focus on this is creating unnecessary stress and is damaging to your mental health and your relationship. You may need to set some boundaries that are more definitive, letting her know that these kinds of conversations will no longer be welcome because they’re causing more harm than good.

It’s also important to stay calm and composed during these conversations. Your mother may not respond well at first, but if you remain consistent and clear about your boundaries, over time she might start to understand that you and your wife need space to make decisions on your own terms.

I know it can feel exhausting, especially when you’ve already tried to address this issue, but sometimes it takes repeated, calm, and firm conversations for boundaries to be truly respected. Your focus right now should be on protecting your marriage and your mental well-being, even if that means temporarily distancing yourself emotionally from your mother’s expectations. If things get too overwhelming, seeking professional guidance, either individually or as a couple, can also help you navigate the emotional complexities of family dynamics while keeping your relationship strong.

At the end of the day, your life, your marriage, and your future plans are yours to decide, and it’s okay to prioritize what’s best for you and your wife, even if it means disappointing others in the short term.

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Love Guru

Love Guru   | Answer  |Ask -

Relationships Expert - Answered on Oct 24, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Oct 15, 2024Hindi
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Relationship
I need advice from anyone here. I am 34 years old woman and married. I have 10 year old daughter. I am also working in MNC.I got married 12 years back. I am seeing lot of challenges in my home. I am living with my in laws from the day one. They were lot of issues going on from the starting. I faced lot of issue during my pregnancy due to this. Here giving just an example, My MIL condition is I was not allowed to drink milk more than one small glass for a day and allowed to eat rice only one rice spatula for afternoon and night, no veggies and no fruits during pregnancy. Due to this My health got deteriorated and I had gone through surgery in my 6th month and was in bed rest till the delivery. My FIL used to bring some fruits to me, and she scolded him very badly. After that he stopped to bring anything. Like this lot of things keep on happening till date. She doesn't allow me to cook, and she only prepare lunch. Tells everyone in the family and neighbourhood that I won't cook. Lot of times I asked her I will cook. She says she doesn’t like if others cook. So, she allows me to chop the veggies or grating coconut like that. She gives very less amount of food for my daughter. sometimes even my daughter is hungry, she scolds her saying don't eat too much. For 10 years old kid, she weighs 24. To her school lunch bag and snacks, I fought with my MIL and prepare food for her box and give. She eats happily. Sometimes my husband and myself tried to tell her and she goes on like I changed her son and He doesn't love her anymore because of me etc., Now a days, I feel relationship between my husband and me is going down. He only listens to her. Sometimes my MIL scolds my daughter unnecessarily Infront of my husband and he we will scold my daughter for this again. Due to this, my husband and my daughter relationship is also getting worst. He keeps on scolding her, My daughter is average in her academics, she doesn't study properly after coming home due to lot distractions and mood swings at home. One more reason is TV. At home My MIL watches the TV from the morning. We are not allowed to watch but that’s ok I don’t have time for that anyway. While my daughter is studying in the evening, my MIL watches some serials. My daughter's whole concentration is on the voices coming from TV. She will keep on getting distracted and make excuses for something to watch TV like drinking water,etc. We tried to tell my MIL, but it didn’t go well. Most of the times, I feel like me and my daughter are outsiders and whatever we do they doesn't like it. I like to pray by singing one song at least once a day. She doesn't like it. Whatever food I prepare to my daughter my MIL complains it to my husband as junk. I normally prepare her rice with lot of veggies, parathas with veggies and sandwich. After I started preparing these, my daughter started eating veggies, otherwise there was big no from her. I don't know how to handle all those things . Also recently during Dusshera, due to one of the situation like this, my husband is not talking properly with me and my daughter. I am an introvert, and I don’t have any friends. I don’t know with whom to seek advice.
Ans: Twelve years of this? You’re a financially independent, capable woman. Why in God’s name are you tolerating this absurd woman and her absolute BS? Move out. NOW. If your husband has any sense, he’ll join you. If not, let him live under his mother’s skirt for the rest of his life, but don’t destroy your own any more than you already have. Take your daughter and LEAVE!

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Anu

Anu Krishna  |1664 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Nov 21, 2024

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Relationship
Hi Anu, Im 27yrs old. I have been married for 1.5 yrs. Me and my husband live abroad. I grew up abroad for a great deal of my life and all members of my family are post graduate degree holders from renowned universities. Recently my mother-in-law came to visit us, she is staying for 6 months. My husband prior to marriage said that his mother is educated when I asked him. Post marriage I found out she studied only till 10th and married my father-in-law who is deceased. Since her arrival, my mother-in-law’s behaviour has been very weird. 1. She once told me that in their caste Kshatriyas ( we had an inter-caste marriage) its very common for the men to have 2 wives and mistresses. This was said totally out if context. Couple of days later she mentioned that her husband had a mistress. 2. She asks me questions about why things are the way they are and why are they like that. I find it very difficult to answer to her questions at the same time I don’t want to sound condescending. 3. She complained to my mother that my husband and I are using up too much ghee and oil. She blames that I made her son fat. My husband likes to have everything deep fried when I don’t do as he asks he throws a fit like a child and refuses to eat. Now I realised why, she deep fries almost everything, bhindi, potato, gobi, arvi, and even brinjal. 4. She also mentions that some relative of their was going to give then 2kg gold dowry to marry her son. I asked her why didn’t she accept it then. They she covered up saying that our engagement was already done by then. Again recently, she was talking to her sister on the phone and was saying that a girl is really beautiful and she was considering her for my husband but he liked me. All while I was literally in front of her. 5. She tries to take over the kitchen, she wants to wash dishes by hand and there is food residue all over. She doesn't want me to use the dishwasher. When I pointedly out that there is residue all dried up on the mixer blade, she covered it up saying that its powder. 6. I asked her not to put oil or ghee on the roti pan when making rotis as its ruining the pan and to ghee after the roti is cooked. She still went ahead and melted butter and poured it on the pan and made rotis. She said that they are not puffing up without the oil. I tried it out myself and I discovered that she lied. Dishonesty is my biggest peeve. I have no respect for her now. I don’t understand why she behaves the way she does. She also expects me to listen to all her stories and express interest in her superstitions. She on the other hand shows total disregard to what I say. My parents want me to be nice to her as she is a widow and has only her son and daughter. She is not nice to her daughter. My sister in law does not want to live with her in laws and my mother-in-laws laughs when she calls her crying. I have witnessed her gas lighting her daughter on many occasions. Once my husband asked her is the sister can come stay at home with her back in India and my mother-in-law said that she does not want her daughter in the house because she is a burden. My mother in law also keeps telling me that I should press her son’s legs as it will give Lakshmi. Once he took food from my plate I told him to put it back and get his own, she said its a Maha paap to snatch from husband’s mouth. She uses this Mahapaap whenever I ask my husband to help around the house. I don’t know how to communicate this with my husband and how to deal with her. He believes he needs to provide everything his mom wants and give her the world because she went thru difficulties after their dad’s passing. However my mother in law believes her life got better after her husband’s passing. She says that her husband was abusive to her physically, emotionally and financially. What do I do?
Ans: Dear DD,
Some space is necessary to be away from people who display less empathy. It keeps the relationship healthier.
You will usually find me guiding people towards one another first BUT at times maintaining a healthy distance can save relationships. Your mother-in-law can become the cause for stress within your marriage as you will have no one to take your complaints to other than your husband. He is obviously not going to take it that easily...
Also the fact that your mother-in-law herself hasn't held a steady marriage is going to be a constant source of more stresses as she is very likely to expect special treatment from her son and you.
She needs to work on her mind and that's too much to expect of her. It's wise to keep some distance and over time, she may wish to re-build relationships with everyone and live in harmony.

All the best!
Anu Krishna
Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
Drop in: www.unfear.io
Reach me: Facebook: anukrish07/ AND LinkedIn: anukrishna-joyofserving/

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Nayagam P

Nayagam P P  |9650 Answers  |Ask -

Career Counsellor - Answered on Jul 29, 2025

Career
Is joining Jaypee guna for btech cse worth it or not
Ans: Vibhuti, Jaypee University of Engineering and Technology (JUET) Guna, accredited with NAAC ‘A+’ and recognized by UGC and AICTE, delivers a well-structured B.Tech CSE program on a 100-acre campus featuring modern hostels, high-speed connectivity, extensive labs, dedicated faculty (90% with PhDs from renowned institutes), and strong student-centric support systems. Placement rates for CSE consistently lie between 90% and 96% over the past three years, with leading recruiters like Amazon, Infosys, TCS, Capgemini, and Wipro offering diverse roles; top campus packages can be very high, though most offers are at the 5–7 LPA range, and the placement process is generally smooth. The infrastructure is frequently praised for its contemporary classrooms, green campus, and robust amenities—including a 24/7 library, gyms, and strong security. Students highlight an active, fun campus life and regular opportunities for internships, while also noting the academic environment as structured but not overly intense, making it suitable for average learners seeking guided growth. Among experiences, some mention that while the bulk of placements are from mass recruiters, competitive students with strong skills benefit most, and those less proactive may need to depend on off-campus job searches. Hostel and mess quality meet expectations, with limited complaints overall. Slight drawbacks cited include relative geographic isolation (which affects daily commuting for day scholars) and less global visibility compared to tier-1 engineering colleges, though industry exposure on campus is robust. All five institutional essentials—national accreditation, qualified faculty, modern infrastructure, active placement cell, and comprehensive student support—are well addressed, making CSE at Jaypee Guna an attractive, value-for-money option within the private engineering sector.

RECOMMENDATION: Jaypee Guna is a solid choice for B.Tech CSE, owing to its consistent 90–96% placement rates, A+ accreditation, experienced faculty, advanced facilities, and supportive campus environment. It is well suited for students seeking quality education and reliable placements, provided they remain engaged and proactive during their degree. All the BEST for a Prosperous Future!

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Nayagam P

Nayagam P P  |9650 Answers  |Ask -

Career Counsellor - Answered on Jul 29, 2025

Career
Sir, my son with CLR 41700 i Gen Category for CSE(Cyber Security) at IIIT Kalyani WB in JoSSS. He may get Kurnool and Sonipat. He has been alloted seat in CSE ( AI& ML) in Nirma University. Pl advise what to do. We already have registered imfor CSAB. Chirag R Patel
Ans: Chirag Sir, Your son’s options—CSE (Cyber Security) at IIIT Kalyani, potential CSE offers from IIIT Kurnool and IIIT Sonepat, and confirmed CSE (AI & ML) at Nirma University—each come with distinct advantages and considerations. IIIT Kalyani, established in 2014 and an Institute of National Importance, has rapidly built a reputation in IT education, especially in next-generation fields like cyber security. The latest data indicate an 89.33% placement rate for B.Tech CSE in 2024, with an average package of ?10.72 LPA and strong industry ties to top recruiters. The campus offers solid infrastructure, adaptive curriculum, and an emerging alumni network. IIIT Kurnool, a newer IIIT, posts placement rates in the 59–68% range for CSE, with average packages roughly ?8–10.8 LPA. It offers a research-led environment and industry engagement, but its relative institutional youth results in fewer recruiters and a nascent peer/alumni network. IIIT Sonepat, also government-recognized, recorded a 70.7–81.6% CSE placement rate recently, with average packages near ?14 LPA and recruiters including Amazon, Microsoft, and prominent startups. However, students report variation in infrastructure and placement consistency as the institute is still growing. Nirma University’s Institute of Technology, reputed as a private leader with NAAC A+ and NBA-accredited courses, posts an impressive 90–96% CSE placement rate, a well-established alumni base, and robust average packages (?8–10 LPA). The AI & ML CSE program is industry-focused, the faculty is predominantly PhD-qualified with solid teaching reviews, and campus facilities are modern and student-friendly, with strong internship culture and high conversion of internships to pre-placement offers. All four institutions meet critical priorities of accreditation, qualified faculty, infrastructure, curriculum innovation, and professional placement mechanisms. The CSAB counseling process remains highly relevant—if your son seeks further rounds at core NITs, top IIITs, or premium state instititutes, it is prudent to keep those options open, as seat movement is common in the special rounds.

RECOMMENDATION: In order of preference, IIIT Kalyani CSE (Cyber Security) is the top choice for its excellent placement rate, specialized track, and growing reputation in information security, followed by Nirma University CSE (AI & ML) for its superior placement consistency, alumni network, and modern campus. IIIT Sonepat and IIIT Kurnool are solid options if you strongly prefer Institutes of National Importance and remain flexible about location and placement variability. Continue with CSAB counseling to maximize chances at higher-preference institutes, but a confirmed seat at IIIT Kalyani or Nirma University stands out as a reliable and future-proof option for a CSE career. All the BEST for a Prosperous Future!

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Nayagam P

Nayagam P P  |9650 Answers  |Ask -

Career Counsellor - Answered on Jul 29, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Jul 29, 2025Hindi
Career
Sir DTU me engineering physics kaisa hai? Is it worth doing please bata dijiye
Ans: Engineering Physics at Delhi Technological University (DTU) offers a multidisciplinary, research-driven curriculum that connects core physics concepts with advanced engineering and computational applications. The B.Tech program spans four years with a 240-credit structure, blending classical mechanics, quantum mechanics, photonics, electronics, digital systems, microprocessors, communication systems, and specialized electives such as VLSI and satellite communication. Faculty in the Applied Physics department are highly qualified, with many holding advanced degrees and active research backgrounds, and are supportive of student research interests. DTU's infrastructure is nationally accredited by UGC, NBA, and NAAC, boasting modern labs, large classrooms with smart technology, an extensive library, secure hostels, and excellent sports/medical facilities. Student reviews note the academically rigorous environment, strong peer group, and faculty mentorship, though the engineering physics curriculum is often considered tougher and more theory-intensive compared to other DTU branches.

In terms of placements, 75–80% of DTU Engineering Physics graduates are placed each year, with top recruiters like Google, Microsoft, Amazon, and Tata Consulting Services offering roles in software, analytics, R&D, and applied physics-based industry. The branch reports lower absolute placement numbers than CSE or ECE, as several students choose to pursue master’s degrees or research careers at premier institutions domestically and abroad. Placement cell support is robust for those interested in industry, with inspiring alumni working in high-tech R&D, analytics, finance, and scientific roles at organizations like ISRO, DRDO, and multinational tech firms. About 85% of students secure internships in industry or government labs, ensuring good practical exposure. The five essential institutional attributes—accreditation, dedicated faculty, top-tier infrastructure, industry and research collaboration, and transparent placement mechanisms—are all strongly evident in DTU’s Engineering Physics program.

Overall, DTU's Engineering Physics is best suited for academically curious, concept-driven students targeting careers in R&D, technology consulting, analytics, core engineering, or advanced research, and is a prestigious, future-focused option both for industry and higher studies if you are prepared for its intellectual rigor. All the BEST for a Prosperous Future!

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Dr Karan

Dr Karan Gupta  |163 Answers  |Ask -

International Education Counsellor - Answered on Jul 29, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Jul 24, 2025Hindi
Career
Hello sir, I am currently a first year B.Tech student in Manipal Institute of Technology but I just got an offer from Singapore University of Technology and Design. Most of the people I talk to havent heard of it but from what I know its a really good college. The only thing is that the fees is much higher. So I am really having a hard time trying to decide what to do. I have been passionate about robotics since my childhood and want to study that further. I know that the education would be better in SUTD but to what extent? Would it justify the much higher fees? I would say my current focus is just developing skills in robotics and to get to know as much as i can in the same topic.
Ans: Thanks for reaching out—this is an important decision.
You're right—SUTD is an excellent university, especially for design, tech, and robotics. It's backed by MIT and has a strong innovation-driven curriculum. The exposure, labs, international faculty, and research opportunities are world-class—definitely a notch above what you'd get at most Indian colleges, including Manipal.
But yes, fees are high, and that matters.
Here’s how you can think about it:
• If your family can comfortably afford it without debt or strain, SUTD is a great investment, especially if your goal is deep tech, research, or even pursuing a master’s abroad later.
• If finances are tight, then stay at Manipal, and focus on building your robotics skills through online courses, competitions (like Robocon), internships, and IIT techfests. You can always aim for top MS or PhD programs abroad after your B.Tech.
SUTD gives you a head start, but it’s not the only way. Your passion and consistency will matter more in the long run. Let me know your financial constraints, and I can help you weigh it better.

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Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |9924 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Jul 29, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Jul 12, 2025Hindi
Money
And we are still investing in mutual funds and plan to do so for next 5 years,my husband invests 30 k ,and i invest 45k
Ans: You and your husband are doing a fantastic job with your monthly investments. Investing Rs. 75K every month shows strong financial discipline. This consistent approach builds wealth and protects your future. Let us now assess your mutual fund journey from all angles.

? Current SIP Strength and Long-Term Potential

– Monthly SIP of Rs. 75K is a solid starting base.
– Over 5 years, this creates a strong corpus.
– Assuming growth, this will accumulate significant wealth.
– Your investing period of 5 years needs careful product selection.
– Short-to-medium term investing demands stability, not aggressiveness.
– Hence, fund selection must match time horizon and risk appetite.
– A Certified Financial Planner can guide scheme selection based on goals.

? Importance of Investment Tenure

– Five years is not a very long horizon.
– Hence, aggressive small-cap funds carry higher volatility.
– Stick to flexi-cap, large-cap, and balanced advantage categories.
– These offer better risk-reward balance in 5-year timeframe.
– Avoid overly sector-specific or thematic funds.
– Asset allocation should favour stability over chasing returns.

? Regular Plan Advantage vs Direct Plan Disadvantage

– Many investors choose direct plans for saving expense ratio.
– But they miss out on expert guidance from Certified Financial Planners.
– This increases chances of wrong fund selection or wrong exit timing.
– Wrong asset allocation or overlapping funds also impact returns.
– Regular plans through CFP-backed MFD offer holistic hand-holding.
– You receive periodic rebalancing, performance monitoring, and personalised reviews.
– The cost difference is minor compared to guided wealth creation.
– A goal-based approach with CFP supervision reduces regret and errors.

? Stay Away from Index Funds – Understand Why

– Index funds may look simple and low cost.
– But they carry hidden disadvantages often overlooked.
– Index funds invest passively in top companies of the index.
– They offer no downside protection in falling markets.
– No active strategy during volatile or sideways periods.
– Also, they follow market blindly, without fundamentals.
– In India, market inefficiencies offer space for active managers.
– Actively managed funds outperform index funds in India consistently.
– They are agile, selective, and dynamic in asset picking.
– Certified Financial Planners help choose best-performing active funds.

? SIP Strategy Review – Risk Alignment and Suitability

– Check how much of your Rs. 75K goes into high-risk funds.
– Avoid high exposure to small-cap and mid-cap segments.
– Cap allocation to these at 20%-30% max.
– Majority should be in balanced, large, or multi-cap funds.
– This reduces downside and improves consistency.
– Each fund must have a clear role and no overlap.
– Avoid too many funds for diversification.
– Keep portfolio compact with 5-7 funds only.

? Goal Planning – Tie Investments to Life Events

– If you have specific financial goals, allocate accordingly.
– Short-term goals should be in low-risk hybrid funds.
– Long-term goals may include child’s education, retirement, etc.
– Discuss these in detail with a CFP.
– This helps match investment type with goal duration.
– Also aligns growth expectation and exit strategy.
– Many investors miss their goals due to mismatched funds.
– Avoid this mistake by goal-based investment planning.

? Rebalance and Review Periodically

– SIPs need annual review to ensure alignment.
– Fund performance can vary due to many factors.
– A fund lagging for over 12 months needs attention.
– Also review sector exposure, overlap, and tax impact.
– A Certified Financial Planner will do this periodically.
– Rebalancing helps protect from over-concentration.
– It also captures gains and shifts to better opportunities.

? Tax Planning within Mutual Fund Framework

– Mutual fund taxation impacts your net returns.
– For equity funds, STCG is taxed at 20%.
– LTCG above Rs. 1.25 lakh is taxed at 12.5%.
– For debt funds, gains taxed as per income slab.
– Plan exits smartly to reduce tax outgo.
– Use tax-harvesting if nearing 1.25 lakh LTCG.
– Align exit strategy with fund performance and tax limits.
– Don't ignore taxation; it quietly erodes final returns.

? Avoiding Insurance-Cum-Investment Products

– If you or your husband have LIC, ULIP, or money-back plans, evaluate them.
– These offer poor returns and low flexibility.
– Surrender such policies if lock-in is over.
– Reinvest in mutual funds with proper planning.
– This boosts compounding and improves goal alignment.
– Don’t mix insurance with investment ever.
– Treat them as separate needs for better results.

? Protecting Your Investment Journey

– SIPs should not stop even in bad markets.
– Market dips are best times to accumulate more units.
– Avoid emotional decisions during correction periods.
– Stay patient and continue monthly contributions.
– Rupee Cost Averaging helps reduce risk over time.
– If income reduces, lower SIP, but never stop.
– Stay consistent and disciplined for long-term success.

? Emergency Fund and Insurance Backup

– Ensure emergency fund is at least 6 months’ expenses.
– This avoids disturbing SIPs during sudden financial stress.
– Also review life and health insurance coverage.
– Ensure it is sufficient and updated.
– Use term insurance for life cover, not ULIPs.
– Use family floater health insurance for medical needs.

? When 5 Years End – Exit and Reinvestment

– Start planning your exit 12-18 months before maturity.
– Move funds gradually to safer options.
– This protects capital from market corrections.
– Consider conservative hybrid funds near withdrawal time.
– Don’t wait till last month to act.
– Also plan next set of goals and reinvestment.
– Don’t keep funds idle after 5 years.
– Reinvest based on new goals or income needs.

? Keep Emotions Out, Data In

– Emotional investing leads to poor decisions.
– Don’t chase top performers each year.
– Choose funds with consistent 5+ year track records.
– Also check downside protection, not just returns.
– Use data, not marketing material, for fund choices.
– A Certified Financial Planner uses professional tools for selection.
– Stay objective, not reactive.

? Avoid Investment Myths and Social Advice

– Friends or relatives may suggest schemes casually.
– Their risk appetite may not match yours.
– Also avoid YouTube tips or WhatsApp forwards blindly.
– Many half-truths and old advice circulate online.
– Follow structured and professional guidance only.
– Choose investments based on your family needs.
– Don’t compare portfolios or returns with others.
– Your journey is unique.

? Final Insights

– Your joint SIP effort of Rs. 75K/month is admirable.
– Continue this for 5 years with discipline and strategy.
– Choose funds based on goal, risk, and time.
– Avoid index and direct funds to stay protected.
– Take guidance from Certified Financial Planner regularly.
– Link each investment to a goal and review annually.
– Protect capital near goal maturity using low-risk funds.
– Use regular plans for full support and peace of mind.
– Don’t mix insurance with investment at any stage.
– Maintain emergency fund and review risk coverage.
– Reinvest matured corpus based on next life phase.
– Keep simplicity, discipline, and patience in investing.
– Long-term wealth is created through consistency, not luck.
– Keep up your good work and grow steadily.

Best Regards,
K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,
Chief Financial Planner,
www.holisticinvestment.in
https://www.youtube.com/@HolisticInvestment

...Read more

Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |9924 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Jul 29, 2025

Money
I have two PF account nos. under in a single UAN. I retired from the 1st origination in the month of sept 2020 after attains the age of 58 years and join 2nd origination in May 2022 (as per PF department records) and continue till now. The EPFO department Stop to credit my interest in the Ist account w.e.f. sept 2023 (Aprox) and continue to provide interest in 2nd account till now. I visited earlier several times in connection with higher pension from the beginning from June 2023 the date of application submitted for higher pension. As the amount to be taken from my account /deposited by me with interest for higher pension settlement as required by department. On enquiring at that time during my visit, the dealing official of the department informed me that the amount after demand with interest will be taken from my Ist account only as the case of higher pension pertain to ist origination and not for 2nd one. In view of this I have not transfer / withdraw the amount from Ist account. Finally on several visit and request I have been issued demand notice dated 28-04-2025 to deposit by 30-04-2025 Rs. 1157109 or by 31.05.2025 Rs. 1164916 or by 30.06.2025 Rs. 1172721 with a joint request Form. All the required forms with employer authenticity deposited well with in time. The amount required for higher pension still as of today 13-07-2025not debited or transfer from my account. It is to inform here that there is a balance as of today with interest as on sept.2023 is Rs.9366305/- (INTEREST LOSS OF Rs. 14.16 LAC APROX TILL NOW.) IN VIEW OF THE ABOVE FACTS--- Please advise me what should I do and also confirm the rules for the same to square up the matter with department. Kul Bhushan Rana
Ans: – You have shared your situation clearly and patiently.
– You are taking efforts for your rightful higher pension.
– That shows financial awareness and future planning.
– You have stayed consistent with EPFO visits and followed their process.
– That discipline is truly worth appreciating.

? Understanding the Two PF Accounts Under One UAN
– You retired from the first organisation in Sept 2020 after turning 58.
– You joined the second organisation in May 2022.
– Both PF accounts are under one UAN, which is valid.

– Interest stopped on the first account from Sept 2023.
– This is common when PF becomes inoperative.
– As per EPFO rules, interest stops after 3 years of no contributions.

– You were told your higher pension dues will be debited from the first account.
– That is correct, since higher pension application is linked to first service.

? Why Interest Stopped in the First PF Account
– As per current EPFO rules, interest is credited only when account is active.
– If no fresh contributions after 36 months, account becomes inoperative.
– That is why interest was not credited after Sept 2023.

– Even though you did not withdraw, account is inactive.
– Hence, interest loss of Rs. 14.16 lakh happened.
– This situation could have been avoided with timely fund transfer.

– But since EPFO informed you not to transfer or withdraw, you followed guidance.
– So the delay is not from your side, but from the department's delay in debit.

? Higher Pension Demand Notice and Delay in Debit
– You received demand notice on 28-04-2025.
– You were given amount and deadline options till 30-06-2025.

– You submitted joint request form and employer authentication within deadline.
– That shows you followed all instructions sincerely.

– But as of 13-07-2025, amount still not debited from first PF account.
– That delay has caused further interest loss to you.

– This is where department processing failure has caused financial damage.
– You have a valid reason to request interest restoration.

? What You Can Do Now: Step-by-Step
– Please write a formal letter to your EPFO Regional Commissioner.
– Mention full details of your UAN, both PF numbers and service periods.
– Explain clearly the timeline of your application, visits, submissions.

– Attach copy of demand notice and receipt of form submission.
– Highlight clearly that department advised to not withdraw or transfer first PF.
– So you kept funds there only for higher pension settlement.

– Mention the delay from EPFO side in debiting your dues.
– Due to that, you suffered Rs. 14.16 lakh interest loss.

– Request them to process debit immediately and update pension calculation.
– Also request interest restoration or compensation due to their delay.

– Keep copy of letter and get acknowledgement from EPFO office.
– Also send same via registered post or speed post to maintain proof.

? Other Follow-Ups to Take in Parallel
– File a grievance on EPFO official portal under "Higher Pension - Settlement".
– Explain same points in simple words with date-wise entries.
– Upload supporting documents like demand notice and bank proof.

– After 15 days, file RTI to EPFO to ask for action status.
– Ask why debit not done and interest not compensated.
– Ask for name and designation of person responsible for delay.

– This puts legal pressure and speeds up department response.

? Higher Pension and Interest – Rules and Reality
– EPFO higher pension scheme is based on Supreme Court ruling.
– Eligible employees can shift from EPS wage limit to full salary for pension.

– Employees retiring after Sept 2014 with joint option and contribution are eligible.
– Pension is based on last drawn salary and service duration.

– When applying for higher pension, EPFO allows employee to pay shortfall.
– This can be done through PF account or external payment.

– In your case, PF balance was enough to cover demand.
– But EPFO delay has caused interest loss.
– Rule does not allow interest on inoperative PF after 3 years.

– But if delay is due to department error, you have right to raise claim.

? You Can Also Approach EPFO Zonal Office
– If local office does not act, escalate to Zonal EPFO office.
– Carry all documents and submit grievance with written letter.
– Politely explain financial loss and request immediate resolution.

– Zonal office has more power and senior officials.
– Their intervention often helps speed up things.

? Legal Option as Final Step (Only if Needed)
– If still no response after all efforts, send legal notice.
– A notice from your advocate can mention service record, forms, interest loss.

– It should demand debit of funds and compensation for interest.
– This step may push EPFO to close the matter without going to court.

– But legal option should be last resort, after exhausting all department levels.

? Tips to Prevent Future PF Related Losses
– Always take written record of any advice given by EPFO staff.
– Do not depend on verbal instructions alone.

– Always follow up in writing when EPFO gives timeline.
– Keep copies of every form, acknowledgement, screenshot.

– Transfer old PF to active account after retirement if no advice from EPFO.
– Keep account active to continue earning interest.

– Maintain full file of pension-related papers for future needs.

? Finally
– You have shown great patience and effort in following the pension process.
– You have every right to get higher pension and fair treatment.

– EPFO delay is causing financial loss and mental stress.
– With written communication and RTI, you can demand quick resolution.

– Keep calm but stay persistent.
– You will be able to close the matter with rightful benefits.

– Your discipline in record-keeping and action is praiseworthy.
– Please keep moving step by step as explained above.

Best Regards,
K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,
Chief Financial Planner,
www.holisticinvestment.in
https://www.youtube.com/@HolisticInvestment

...Read more

DISCLAIMER: The content of this post by the expert is the personal view of the rediffGURU. Investment in securities market are subject to market risks. Read all the related document carefully before investing. The securities quoted are for illustration only and are not recommendatory. Users are advised to pursue the information provided by the rediffGURU only as a source of information and as a point of reference and to rely on their own judgement when making a decision. RediffGURUS is an intermediary as per India's Information Technology Act.

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